Teacher's Pet
by sparkles04
Summary: Not your usual Teacher/Student love story. Ashley's not used to feeling loved until Spencer..her teacher..opens up her world to her. It's a roller coaster of emotions but so worth the ride. Rated T with a few Rated M chapters.
1. Chapter 1 Hot for teacher

_**Okay so this is my first story. I have read quite a few teacher/student stories and didn't like how they were written or ended so I decided to write my own. I know the topic isn't original but I promise this story will be. Give it a chance. You will be surprised. :) Most of the story will be rated T but some will definitely be M. I will give you a heads up.**_

_I own nothing but my imagination._

**Chapter 1**

I hate school, simple enough. I just do not understand the purpose of spending nearly 13 years of my life sitting in classrooms, listening to old people talk about things we won't even remember after 5 years. Not to mention why we even need to know these things.

My first hour is Literature. I actually love Literature. I love reading poems and stories. I am quite fascinated with the inner thoughts and crazy imaginations of some people, but on my own time. I don't like to be told what to read and I hate dissecting books. If you can't understand it… don't read it.

My 2nd hour is Math. Ugh! Enough said.

Science is my 3rd and History my 4th. Those are way too boring to even waste my words on.

The only reason I can even stand going to that shithole is my 5th, 6th, and 7th period. Art is my 5th. I loooove Art. Painting is my thing. Even if my best painting looks like a 5 year olds best work and I get more paint on myself then the canvas. The best part of my Art class though...the hottie that shares the double sided easel with me. She's a pretty decent painter and more than once I had to stop myself from asking her if she wanted to paint me...naked.

6th period is Music. Music is my passion. I learned to play the guitar before I could tie my own shoes. I have my rock star dad to thank for that. I am currently "learning" to play the piano. Of course that leads me to another hottie who is currently teaching me. Keep this between you and me, but I kinda, sorta already know how to play the piano too. But I play dumb and forget what key is what just so she will personally show me (wink wink).

Ahhhh, that leaves us with Gym, my 7th period. Now don't go getting all crazy on me. I do not, in any way whatsoever, like to play any sport invented by man. Trust me… Balls aren't my thing. Eww! However for some reason, (which I think has to do with our pervert of an athletic director), our gym uniforms are as skimpy as a hooker's skirt. Of course I have no issue with that. I don't mind wearing it and I sure don't mind others wearing it. Well except for that one girl. I don't want to explain because I don't want you to picture it. It's one of those "that just ain't right" moments. Double EWW!.

Anyway so I assume you get the picture. I like the fun classes. The classes where you don't necessarily need to think. And the eye candy is a bonus.

If you didn't catch it… I am a girl who likes girls. I am who I am and I don't apologize for it. Now I wouldn't say I am a womanizer. I might have an ultimate goal of getting in a girls pants, but I wine and dine them first. I am very charming and gentlewomanly (yes, that's actually a word). So I don't see someone more than once, and I don't like them there in the morning. I don't give them my phone number and I never, ever, ever under any circumstances cuddle. I am all for forking, but never spooning. Okay, okay, so I guess you could call me a womanizer, but like I said I am who I am and I don't apologize for it. And if you ask me, and the girls I have (womanized) you could say I have nothing to say sorry about. In fact they usually leave thanking me. Yes… I am cocky and yes I can back it up.

So my shrink thinks I have a problem, that problem stemming from not getting attention from my parents. I have too many walls up. Hence not letting anyone get too close to me, well emotionally that is. Definitely not physically. Yep, that's what she said. My dad has been on tour on and off for the last 2 years on and off and most of my life. I have seen him a total of 87 hours in the last 5 years. Yes, I have kept track because my time with him means a lot to me. My mom now… that's another story. Bitch! As of right now she is probably in some foreign country getting it on with her latest boy toy. I would know exactly where she was if I paid attention when she talked, but I feel no need for that. You know how the people on the phone in the Charlie Brown movies talk. That's what I hear when my mother is speaking to me. She punishes me because my dad loves me more than her. He isn't ever home, but when he is he spends it with me. That infuriates her. She also punishes me because of my sexuality. She doesn't understand it and she thinks I choose it. She thinks I am punishing her for being a bad mother. Yeah, it's all about her. So needless to say my family kinda sucks. Luckily I have a few good friends. I don't know what I would do without them.

So back to school sucking, I was suspended last week for my attendance or lack thereof. So I was forced to sit in my boring Literature class. I guess you could say there was one good thing about it and it had nothing to do with a hottie. One of my best friends, Maddie was in this class. I have to remember to talk to her later about that hideously awful checkered skirt. If you could see my face right now…well. Now Maddie by no means is an ugly girl. She has a great body and she is quite beautiful. Not to mention Latin. Ay Mami! But the girl has no sense of fashion whatsoever. WTF! How has she spent so much time with me over the years and not learned anything? Anyway, during my rant I didn't notice the teacher come in. I only realized it when I saw Maddie staring at me, motioning with her head to look forward. And then I heard my name. I follow the voice, which might I add is angelic, to the most beautiful face I have ever laid eyes on.

Blue eyes like the skies.

Perfect lips and golden blond hair and I am almost certain if she didn't have a pissed off look on her face she would have a gorgeous smile.

I guess she thought the way I had my mouth open in awe was humorous because all of the sudden she wasn't angry anymore … and there it was.

The gorgeous smile.

I saw her lips moving and faintly heard them saying something, but I was frozen.

WOW!

Someone punched me in the arm, Maddie, and I finally snapped out of it in time to hear. "Well it's nice of you to finally join us, Miss Davies. I didn't think you knew where this classroom was."

Well I didn't until the principle personally showed me this morning. I certainly will remember it now. Oh wait...she said 'Miss Davies'. Hmm. It finally hit me. The beautiful blonde bombshell with blue eyes you could get lost in, perfect lips, golden blonde hair, and the most gorgeous smile is the teacher. NO fucking way! Well I think I can add Literature to one of the fun classes. I sat back and started to imagine all the ways that I could possibly seduce my teacher.

I should probably stop drooling and answer her.

"Oh I'm sure I will have no problem finding it now." I smirked and she rolled her eyes.

This was going to be so much fun.


	2. Chapter 2 More reading, less talking

_I own nothing but my imagination._

As the chalk scraped against the chalkboard I watched in awe. The woman could not possibly be my teacher. I may have skipped this class all year, but I did come to a few at the beginning, and I for sure would have remembered her. Her golden blonde hair had some curls in it and reached down to the center of her back. She was wearing a white long-sleeved button down blouse with the sleeve rolled up and a knee length tight black skirt that still showed off enough of her perfect tanned legs. Her black high heels gave her a little height, but she couldn't be more than 5'4".

As you could imagine I was staring at her with my mouth slightly open. She turned and made eye contact with me and raised her right eyebrow slightly. Probably curious as to why I was gawking at her. But I didn't turn away. I couldn't. She shook her head slightly and then addressed the class.

"Okay so last month we studied Emily Dickinson, the next 4 weeks we will be studying the dark and mysterious, Edgar Allan Poe. It is my belief that Poe is an extremely important part of American Literature. Not only is he known for one of the most famous poems in American History, he was also known for his tales of mystery and suspense. Poe always thought that Poetry was a fashion and that it must be fashioned, shaped and polished like an organic substance. Poetry excited and tantalized Poe. The tales he wrote were the first of their kind and to this day writers have mentioned Poe's work as their inspiration. He brought us the art of Poetry a shaping imagination and a passionate love of beauty."

While she spoke you could see the passion in her eyes and hear it in her words. She almost made me want to learn more about Poe. Almost. Really I just want to learn more about her.

"So the next few days you all are going to study Poe on your own and by the end of the week I want a short paper on what you have found. I want you to try to get a concept of Poe before we start to read his work. Alright so everyone grab your belongings we are going to head to the library. We have a great collection of biographies and Poe's works along with my own collection and of course we have the internet. You will work in group of two's for now so pick a partner and let's go."

With that we all got up and headed out the door. Madison immediately turned to me.

"So I am surprised to see you. What made you come to class today?" Madi asked me with her eyebrows raised in question.

"Uh… the principle. He found me out in the quad and walked me directly to class."

"Well I am glad. It's one of our only classes together and you never come," she pouted.

"Well I will definitely be coming to class every day now." I followed that with a wiggle of the eyebrows.

"Hmmm. That wouldn't have anything to do with our gorgeous teacher would it?"

"Maybe. By the way, where did this gorgeous teacher come from? She wasn't here at the beginning of the year. I am sure I would have remembered her."

Madi laughed. "She had to take over for Mr. Connors. His wife got really sick so he had to take some time off. She's been here since the beginning of October, I think."

"Damn, how has she been here for 2 months and I didn't notice?"

"Uh, because you always skip like the first couple classes and she is only here til 4th period. She teaches part time at UCLA."

Wow! Impressive.

We entered the library and were directed to the back corner. There was a table full of books all about Poe.

"Alright, everyone. One by one I want you to go pick out two books for your table, one biography and one of his works," she said quietly.

Madi grabbed two books from the table and when she got back I remember what I wanted to tell her.

"Madi, what have I told you about that hideous skirt? Really, you need to burn it." She chuckled at me.

"Seriously, Ash. When are you going to realize this 'hideous skirt' is dress code? Not all of us can pay doctors to write notes for us."

Pfft!

"What? You don't believe that I am allergic to polyester?"

I heard a snicker and looked over to see the gorgeous teacher trying to suppress a smile. She didn't look up at us, she was writing something on a notepad.

"Ash, these skirts are only like 10 percent polyester. You just like to be different."

I scrunched my nose up. "If by different you mean stylish, you're right"

"Miss Davies, you do know this is a library and that you are supposed to be reading?" The gorgeous teacher said still looking down and writing.

I tilted my head at her. "I'm sorry, Teach. You can call me Ashley, by the way."

With that she finally looked up at me with a smug look on her face. "Miss Davies... more reading, less talking. You can call me, Mrs. Dennison... by the way."


	3. Chapter 3 Out of your league

_I own nothing but my imagination._

She was still looking at me almost as if she were waiting for my reaction. I just smiled back at her then looked down at the book Madi had placed in front of me. I didn't want her to see the disappointment in my eyes.

Yes… disappointment. Surprised I was not. How could I be? This woman was beautiful, sexy as hell; smart, sexy as hell and even has a sense of humor.

I did mention sexy as hell, right? Okay then.

And just when I thought she couldn't get any sexier she placed on a pair of black horn rimmed glasses, opened a book and leaned back.

Wow!

I sat there staring until Madi nudged me and pointed to my book, but I couldn't seem to focus on the book in front of me. My mind started to wander. Of course, all thoughts on the very intriguing woman not 20 feet away. What was her husband like? (Assuming she was married, which I am sure she was. I mean look at her and then there was the Mrs. part) Was she happy? How old was she? (Not that that mattered to me) What was her favorite color? Favorite food? Was I intriguing to her? What kind of perfume did she wear? And so on and so on and so on. And at this point I was completely obsessed. It was ridiculous and I need to focus on something else.

Like Poe.

I started trying again to read and just then Mrs. Dennison started quietly talking to us. We were to check out our books and then we were free to go. It was five minutes before the period ended and I just realized I spent the last half hour thinking about nothing but her. Ugh! Madi and I got up from our table to go check out our books and as we passed by Mrs. Dennison she looked up and said...

"Have a good day, ladies." She had a sexiest grin on her face and I don't think she realized how seductive it was.

"And you as well, Mrs. Dennison," Madi said.

I just winked and kept walking. Yeah...I winked. That's how I worked, can't seem too eager. We checked out our books and walked out of the library. Once we were in the hallway Madi slugged me in the arm.

"What the hell is with you? Oh boy Ashley es necesario para obtener un control."

Uh what?

"I don't know what you mean, Madi, and I sure as hell don't know what you just said." I swear I needed a translator with her some times.

"She is our teacher, she is married and I am pretty sure she is straight."

And…

"All minor details, Mads. Minor details" She shook her head at me and sighed.

"Ash... maybe you should just continue to skip 1st period. I know you think that you are some kind of girly Casanova and hot sex goddess, but some people are just out of your league."

Was she speaking a foreign language again?

"Pfft. Please, Mads. She's hot for me, I can tell."

"And what exactly did she do or say to make you think that? Wow, I knew your ego was big, but come on, Ash. She is a beautiful and smart woman, who is a Professor at UCLA, and not to mention she has a rockin' body. She could have anyone she wanted. She's married probably to some tall, dark and handsome doctor or something. I am so sure she is interested in_ you_." She laughed and then continued... "Why don't you just stick to those 'hotties' in those classes you actually like going to? Los sin cerebro."

"Did you just say something about my brain?"

She shook her head and laughed.

"Just leave Mrs. Dennison alone. I don't want to see you get embarrassed."

We reached her locker just as the bell finally rang ending 1st period. "Whatever, Mads. You just wait and see. See ya at lunch, chica" She rolled her eyes and waved.

I was so tired, probably from waking up at the butt crack of dawn to make it to school on time, and probably because my mind had been on overdrive for the last hour. I snuck out to my car, set my alarm on my phone and reclined my seat back. Time for a nap. I woke up just in time for lunch. Just as I got out of my car I saw Mrs. Dennison walking over to hers. She must have sensed my staring because she looked over at me a smiled.

She totally had the hots for me!

She pulled out of the parking lot and when she was finally out of sight, I headed to the quad. I found my friends at our usual table in the corner. Madi was there, Kyla my annoying cousin, Chelsea the artistically talented one, Amanda the genius, Glenda the jock. (Those two aren't really my friends… they just think they are.) last, but certainly not least, Casey. Casey was my favorite. The brunette, petite, emo chick who also happened to be a fellow lesbian. Before you ask, yes we were once a couple, but that didn't work out. Now we were just friends with the occasional benefits. By occasional I mean sometimes between girlfriends and since Casey had been with her girlfriend now for 6 months the occasional is turning into never. Anyway, I sat down and look over to see Madi whispering something to Kyla. They both snickered. Those snickering bitches.

"Hey, Ash. I was just telling Kyla about your latest crush." She smirked at me.

"Well you guys have a great laugh at my expense; I am going to get some grub."

"Ashhhh. Get your ass over here. I got you some lunch," Casey said with a smile. "I know you got up early today so I figured you would be in your car sleeping." Now you know why she was my favorite.

"Oooh pizza. Thanks, Case," I said as I sat down and playfully bumped into her.

"No prob, babe."

As soon as she was done eating she would walk over and sit down under a tree to call her girlfriend, which was what she did every day. Her girlfriend, Michelle, went to King High, a public high school in L.A. Oh…I forgot to mention, I go to a lovely all girls private school. Yes, all girls, a lesbian heaven.

Lunch ended and I headed to my art class. I was just not excited about it like I usually way. I sat at my easel and for the entire hour I just flicked paint onto the canvas. I even managed to hit the girl (hottie #1) on the other side. She poked her head around and glared at me. I just shrugged and nonchalantly apologized. She looked at me confused. I would too. I was not being my usual charming, cocky self.

Music class wasn't the same either. I walked up to the piano and started playing Mozart's Sonata in C-major. Mia's (hottie #2 and my piano "teacher") jaw dropped and my actual music teacher was looking at me like a proud mama. When I finished everyone applauded and I bowed. I walked over to my table pulled my notebook with my sheet music and started writing a new song, inspired by a certain blonde.

Gym class was the same ...well actually not really. As soon as I entered the gym I saw my favorite brunette. She ran over to me a hugged me. "Ash, you do know you are actually on the gym floor, right?" Casey questioned me.

"I know… Feel my forehead. Do I feel alright to you?" Casey giggled and put her hand on my forehead.

"Hmm. You feel fine, but you look HOT." Casey was a big flirt like me if you haven't noticed.

"Mmmmm. You too, Case. Now what are we playing today?"

"Huh? Maybe you should go see the nurse. You haven't left the bleachers all year, Ash. What's with you today?"

I think I fell… in love. Maybe I should go see the nurse.

"I need to be distracted, and I figured if I played whatever lame game you guys are playing, I will be so confused it will distract me," I explained. She looked at me clearly confused.

"Um… okay. Why the need for distraction?"

"Let's just say I have been obsessing a wee bit too much today, and I am starting to feel semi-stalkerish. And yes… I am obsessing over a girl, but I am not telling you who it is just yet. "

"What? Why not? In case you forgot, I am your bestest of best friends, and I always tell you everything so you better spill." She looked a little pissed.

"Let's just say that this chick would be top of the list. The forbidden list." She looked confused again.

"Ash, we are lesbians. Everyone is 'forbidden'. And it's not like I am gonna tell anyone. Out with it."

I was just about to tell her when a loud whistle was blown in my ear.

"Ladies and Miss Davies, get your lazy butts on the lines, time to stretch those muscles." That was Ms. Matthews. Our butchy, I mean bitchy gym teacher.

We were all stretched out when the bitch spoke again. "Today we are playing Volleyball. Miss Davies?"

Why was she picking on me?

"Since you don't usually participate, I am sure your good friend Miss. Montgomery (Casey) will explain it to you. As we go that is." She chucked the volley ball at me and it hit me in the gut. The wind was knocked out of me and she walked away laughing. Casey was laughing as well as I tried to catch my breath.

Fuck!

This was what I got for leaving the bleachers.

Volley ball was a good distraction. I found my eyes constantly following the ball even when it smacked me right in the face.

I showered after gym for the first time ever. Sadly the showers are individual showers. Damn!

I left the locker room and headed to my locker. When I got to it there was a short, black haired girl standing at her locker right next to mine. She had a handful of books and was struggling to get them in her locker. I rolled my eyes and offered a hand.

"Uh. You need some help?" She looked up at me and her face went from frustrated to scared.

"Um. Okay. Sure." I took a few books from the top and she placed the ones on the bottom in her locker. Her locker door opened a bit and I caught a glimpse of a pic she had taped on the inside. It was a pic of her with two other people. A wedding picture. The groom was a tall, black haired guy and the bride was none other than the blonde that had been on my mind all day. Mrs. Dennison. She saw me staring at the picture.

"Oh, uh. That's my brother and I assume you know Mrs. Dennison." She didn't look scared anymore. She looked sad.

"Your brother is married to Mrs. Dennison?" I asked and she looked down.

"Hey are you okay?" I asked as I put a hand on her upper arm. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes. "He was married to Mrs. Dennison," she said quietly.

"Was? Did they get a divorce or something?" I was confused and then it hit me when she started to cry. I patted her back and apologized. She shook her head and started to speak again.

"My brother was a sergeant in the army. He was killed in Iraq a little over a year ago."

She slammed her locker and ran away, leaving me still holding her books. Fuck! Me and my stupid questions. I was back to thinking about Mrs. Dennison again, but not in the way I normally was. For some reason I felt guilty for flirting with her, but deter me this would not. I had an even greater need to know more about her now. A greater need to get closer to her. Call it intuition, call it wishful thinking, call me crazy, but I felt like she may have needed it too.


	4. Chapter 4 Ammunition

_I own nothing but my imagination._

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock playing some bubbly pop song. Ugh! Not the way I want to wake up, especially after not falling asleep until after 3am. Why is that you ask? Oh I decided to do a little homework and read one of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories.

Uh… a little warning would have been nice.

Like…hmm… (DO NOT READ BEFORE BED)

I had no idea that a story called A Tell-Tale Heart would be about a creepy dude with an even creepier eye who gets chopped up into little pieces and buried underneath the floor boards. I couldn't sleep after that. I couldn't get the sound of the beating heart out of my head. Did I mention it was creepy?

It took me a little over an hour to get ready and I was out the door. No breakfast, like usual. No mom around to care about the no breakfast. I made my usual stop at Tim Horton's for an iced cappuccino and headed to school. I pulled into the parking lot and took my usual spot, the last one available considering I was always the last one there. As I walked through the parking lot I looked over and saw Mrs. Dennison's car. I was sad for a moment as I thought about what I was told yesterday. I was so looking forward to the rest of the school year thinking of all the ways I could lay on my charm and make Mrs. Dennison blush (and maybe make her do a few other things) but now I was uncertain. She had lost her husband a little over a year ago. Was it wrong of me to imagine the things I was imagining? I know it was wrong of me to assume that I could have her, but I've never been one to do the right thing, especially when it came to girls or in this case, women. The look in her eyes when she talked to me, even though brief, told me it wasn't wrong. Yes, I know I was probably imagining things, but I had to pursue this. I just had to be careful. If that's even possible.

I walked into the empty hallway to my locker. I opened it, but then closed it quickly remembering that the only books I need were already in my bag, my books on Poe. I turned around and headed off to first period. I was tired as hell and the last thing I needed was to see the principal and there he was walking up to me with a pissed off look on his face.

"Miss Davies, do you need me to show you to your first period again, or shall I just send you home?" He said with his arms crossed over his puffed out chest. Easy killer.

"Actually, Mr. Goodman, I was just headed there. Uh to class that is. Had a rough night and overslept." Well the first part wasn't a lie. I couldn't exactly tell him that I was late because it took me an hour to get "hot" for Mrs. Dennison. Well that and stopping for my iced cap.

"Well just to be sure I will walk you there anyway. I know it's hard for you to find it considering you didn't find it for months." Wow…harsh much. Okay, he was partially right. However I didn't need any help now. I knew exactly where to find Mrs. Denn… I mean first period.

"Shall we?" He motioned toward the other end of the hallway and we were off. When we reached the door it was closed and he knocked softly and then opened it. As soon as I walked in I locked eyes with her and she tilted her head to the side with a disappointed look on her face and then with her head, she nodded towards my seat. Mr. Goodman didn't say anything. He just nodded at Mrs. Dennison and then left. Thank goodness. I was escorted to first period twice in one week by the principal and the first time was embarrassing enough. I sat down and heard Madison next to me snickering. Bitch and her snickering. I glared at her and she stopped.

"As I was saying, you have one more day to finish your paper on what you have learned about Poe so far. Tomorrow I will expect papers on my desk as soon as you enter this classroom." Wow... She was so sexy when she talked like that.

"I will give you the rest of the period to work on your paper. Get started." With that she sat down, put her sexy glasses on and started writing on the paper on her desk. She must have sensed my staring at her, she looked up and right at me.

Oh shit!

"Is there something you need, Miss Davies?" She asked me with her eyebrows slightly raised.

"Oh…um. No... Just thinking" What was with me? I had nothing. She gave me a questioning look and then went back to writing, thankfully letting it go.

I opened my bag and took out my books. I decided to read a poem this time, a love poem. No more freaky short stories about murdering, dismembering and heart beats. Eeek!

I opened the book looking for a poem when a piece of paper dropped down on top of it. I looked over at Madi, and she was smiling at me. She motioned with her head towards the paper. I picked up the neatly folded paper and slowly opened it trying not to garner any unwanted attention.

In Madi's girly handwriting_: Lol. So smooth, Ash. Hope you're not trying to charm her with your words..._

I shook my head and wrote her back: _Fuck off__,__ Mads. She thinks I am cute. Trust me..._

I looked up real quick to make sure I didn't get caught and threw the paper back at Madi. She giggled quietly and starting writing something back. She tossed it back over to me..._Yeah. I am sure she thinks you are just adorable. "Oh__…__ um" Lmao. Give this one up__,__ Ash. She is waaay out of your league__,__ and duh...the teacher..._

I looked over at her shaking my head and she was trying not to laugh. I wrote back: _You will see. NO-ONE can resist the Davies charm_.

I was about to fold the paper back up when I heard clicking.

Like heals on the floor clicking.

Like heals on the floor clicking and coming towards me.

I looked up and she was right at the side of my desk. She being, Mrs. Dennison. Again... Oh Shit! She looked down at the paper curiously. I swallowed hard. Then with the tip of her pen she pressed down on the paper and spun it sideways so she could read it.

Did I mention… OH SHIT?!

I just sat there staring at the back of the head in front of me. This couldn't be good. I faintly heard a giggle, this time not from Madison, from the very amused teacher standing next to me. I finally got the nerve to look up at her and she was smirking, but not looking at me, she was still looking at the paper. Suddenly she bent down and started writing something on the paper. She was inches away from my face. Her hair smelt so good.

OH MY GOD!

Then she stopped and walked away, back to her desk. She sat down and acted like nothing happened. I was staring at her dumbfounded when I remembered that she wrote something on my paper. I quickly looked down and saw her handwriting. Of course it was perfectly and beautifully written.

Everything about her was beautiful...

Oh, right, what did she write? _Adorable as you may be__,__ you should seriously take your friends advice 'Davies'..._

Great… she thinks I am adorable. Well it's a start. She doesn't know it, but she just gave me some ammo and she ain't gonna know what hit her.


	5. Chapter 5 Mojo

_I own nothing but my imagination._

So Mrs. Dennison thought I was adorable. Hmmm. Not so sure that I like being thought of as adorable. A puppy is adorable. Me?... Well I guess I will take what I can get. I was so freaked out when she caught me with the note. Most teachers would embarrass you and read it in front of the class or give you detention, crumble up the note and toss it. I was still sitting there dumbfounded that she actually participated in our note passing. She was inches from my face while she wrote. She had to sense how nervous I was. Probably why she thought I was adorable. I had never been nervous around a girl. Maybe Madi was right. She was waaaaay out of my league, but I was too stupid and stubborn to let this go. I looked up at her as she put her head in her hands. I don't know how long I was staring, but she looked up and sighed and then her eyes found mine. I didn't understand the look in her eyes, but it seemed a bit sad and tired. She looked away quickly like she didn't want me to see her like that. I was so lost in thought I didn't hear the bell ring. She stood up and addressed the class as everyone got there things together.

"Remember, tomorrow morning your papers are due. First thing. No exceptions. Have a good day everyone." She smiled, but it was a forced one. I had an idea and quickly wrote something down on the note. As I got to her desk I threw the folded up note in front of her. She looked up at me confused. I smiled and head towards the door.

I heard her opening it.

_"Somewhere I have never travelled__,__ gladly beyond any experience, your eyes have their silence: in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me, or which I cannot touch because they are too near" I probably should take my friends advice, but what would be the fun in that?_

I took one more look back at her before I was completely out the door. She was smiling, not at me, but at what I wrote. Hmmm, maybe I can charm her with my words. Well not just my words. I threw a little E.E. Cummings in there too. What? I am not completely an idiot when it comes to literature. I love me some poetry. Okay so I only have 2 poetry books, Robert Frost and E.E. Cummings. They were my grandmas and for some reason she left them for me when she passed. I only read them out of sheer boredom, and then I read them again and again when I wasn't bored. I kind of fell in love with them. They were a part of my grandma and I think she knew somehow that I would enjoy them.

Second period? Um I think not. Nap time? Yes, that's more like it. I headed out to my car at the back of the lot and took my nap. My alarm went off around 11:30 and I headed back in. Once again I saw her at her car, but she wasn't alone. She was with the dark haired girl. Her... sister-in-law? She had her hand on the girls back and was rubbing it caringly. The girl looked upset. I felt bad intruding on their moment so I walked towards the quad. My friends were all there already like usual. I walked over and immediately Madi ran up to me.

"Oh my god. Spill. What did she write?" I didn't know anyone could talk that fast.

"Uh. She told me I should take your advice." I left out the adorable part. She would just make fun of me more.

"Exactly, and you should. I thought we were so busted when she read the note."

"Yeah, well, it seems she has a sense of humor."

Madi laughed. "Yeah. It is kinda funny you thinking you can use your charm on her. Although I think you have kinda lost your touch girly."

I was about to respond when Casey came up next to Madi. Damn she looked good today. I gave her the once over and she shook her head.

"Ain't happening, Ash." She gave me this sexy grin. "So what are you two talking about?"

"Oh… not much. Just how Ash has lost her Mojo," Madi said, smirking.

"Funny Mads." Not really.

"Oh. I think she still has her mojo. She just uses it on the wrong people." She looked me in the eyes. What was that about?

"I think you both need to stop using the word mojo. This isn't an Austin Powers movie, and I haven't lost anything nor do I use "it" on the wrong people. I know what I want and I go after it. As you know I almost always get it." I looked directly at Casey when I said the last part. She looked away to hide her red cheeks.

"This one you need to give up, Ash. Not only is it wrong, it is illegal," Madi said in a quiet and serious tone.

"Uh. I definitely missed something here. Something big. What the hell is she talking about, Ashley?" She called me Ashley. She is not happy with me.

"It's nothing Case-y. Nothing to worry about."

"Okay. Don't tell me. See ya later guys. I am going to call my girlfriend." Yep. She was mad at me for some reason, considering she was looking right at me when she said "girlfriend". I don't know what is going on with her. She is the one that wanted said "girlfriend" and told me we couldn't be "together" anymore. Don't tell me she is jealous because I am using my mojo on someone else. Oh god. I didn't just say that. Forget that last part.

I didn't feel like eating all of the sudden so I sat down next to Chelsea, the only semi-normal one of the bunch, and steal some of her Coke. She can tell I am not in the mood to talk. She just nods her head to say "hi" and continues her conversation with Kyla. They are talking about the prom. Leave it up to my annoying cousin to bring up the prom when it is over 4 months from now. I put my I-pod on and leaned against the table. Ahhh... Adele always knew how to calm me down.

I made it through the rest of the day somehow. My usually fun classes weren't fun at all today. Hottie art class girl is still mad at me for flinging paint on her. Hottie music class girl apparently isn't too happy with me suddenly knowing how to play piano and hottie gym class girl, my favorite brunette is avoiding me. So I sat on the bleachers and watched them play that annoying game again. I don't know why I even left the bleachers to begin with. The view was much better up there and I wasn't getting smacked in the head with a damn volleyball.

I got dressed and waited outside of the locker room for Casey. She came out with some other girls and they were all laughing. She saw me, but kept walking. WTF?

"Casey?" I yelled above there laughter. She stopped and excused herself from them.

"What, Ash? I gotta get going or I will miss my ride."

"What is with you? You obviously avoiding me and you are clearly pissed off. What did I do?"

"Nothing, Ash. Nothing you don't normally do every day." She started to walk off.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I was so confused. She turned around to face me.

"Don't you ever get sick of it? The flirting, the fucking, the bolting?"

Oh wow! Now I understood. Maybe.

"Case, where is this coming from? Why do you even care? You have your girlfriend now. What does it matter what I do?"

"Of course, you think this is about us, Ash. It's not. We were always friends with benefits. Nothing more, nothing less. This is about you. I know you are young and you don't believe in love, but you have got to stop this. You are just hurting yourself, not to mention all of the girls you use. Whoever this mystery girl is… just leave her alone." With that, she left, and she didn't have me fooled one bit. Some part of what she said had everything to do with her.

I shook my head and walked down the hall to my locker. Dark haired girl was there again. I quickened my pace to make it there before she left. I really needed to give her the books that she left with me the day before and... maybe get some more info from her without making her cry.

"Hey. Uh. I got your books," I said as she was about to leave.

She stopped and looked at me with that scared look again. I smiled and the scared look went away.

"Yeah, sorry about that." She opened her locker as I opened mine. I handed her the books.

"I'm Ashley Davies, and you are?" I stuck my hand out to her.

"Miranda." She paused. "Miranda Dennison." She pulled my hand into hers and shook it. She smiled and it was then that I noticed she was kinda, sorta… hot. What? I'm just saying!

"So… you are still close with Mrs. Dennison, huh?" Yes… I was always so blunt and to the point. I needed info. She looked at me confused.

"Oh. I just… I saw you guys in the parking lot before lunch. Sorry. Never mind."

"It's okay." She smiled. For some reason I think she liked that I was talking to her. She didn't seem like the loner type, but she seemed kind of shy.

"Just curious. Teachers are so mysterious. You always wonder what they are like outside of school." And I wondered about Mrs. Dennison, A LOT.

"Well Spencer's kind of like my older sister. It's so weird hearing people call her Mrs. Dennison. I sometimes forget she was married to my brother. So, of course, she would have the same last name as me. Anyway, she's cool. Not like Miss Lincoln, who lives alone except for her fifteen cats and one parakeet." She laughed. I liked this girl. We could totally hang out. She made me laugh.

Spencer, huh? I liked it; it was different, and kind of hot for a girl's name.

"Well that's good to know. So Spen-cer doesn't have any cats?" I really didn't care if she had any cats, but the living alone part I was curious about. She could have moved on already.

"Nope. A dog though. She calls him her baby. Treats him like one too."

"I totally get that. My dog is my baby too. If it wasn't for him I would practically live alone." She looked at me sadly so I changed the subject.

"What about you? Any cats… or dogs… or babies?" She laughed again.

"God no! I can barely take care of myself."

"I think you do just fine." Okay… did not mean for it to sound that way. "Um, you know. You look healthy and all." Nice recovery, Davies.

She just laughed once again. I wondered if it had been awhile since she had laughed this much.

"Well I have to get going, Ashley. Spencer is actually picking me up and we are going to hang out tonight. She's probably wondering what is taking me so long."

"Oh, sorry, didn't mean to keep you."

"No problem. She's probably still trying to decide what we are going to do."

"What does she like to do?" Ah… curious Ashley was back.

"I don't know. What most 24 year old usually like to do?" So she was only 24, huh?

"But I am only 16, so that kind of leaves out a few things."

"Well I could recommend a place to go. It's called Pure. It's an over 21 music club, but I could get you in there." She looked unsure.

"Any how would you do that? You are only what, 17?"

"Well, for one, I am going to be playing there tonight, and two, my dad owns the place." She looked surprised.

"Oh. Cool. That sounds really good. I will talk to Spence about it."

"Talk to Spence about what?" That wasn't me. Who was... well hello!

Guess who was standing not 5 feet away. Yep, Spencer. Oh how that sounds so much better than Mrs. Dennison. She had her arms crossed and she was looking at me with a questioning/confused expression.

"Well, Ashley here plays at a music club called Pure. She invited me tonight, but I was hanging with you so I figured we could go."

"Is that right?" She looked kinda pissed. I could not read this woman.

"So? What do you think, Spence?" Yeah that was me. She looked hesitant now.

I may have gone too far calling her, Spence.

"Look. If you are worried about the student/teacher outside of school thing you guys can sit in the back and act like you don't know me. Then afterwards maybe Miranda and I can hang out a bit. I mean if that's okay with you."

She was thinking about it. Damn she was sexy, especially when she chewed on her bottom lip, like she was doing in that moment.

"Okay. We'll be there," she said with no expression. Miranda was excited. How did I know? Well she was hugging me at the moment. Awwwkward.

"So we will see you tonight, Ashley. What time to you go on stage?"

"Right around 8. Give or take a few minutes."

"Cool. See you then." I waved at her and then looked over at Spencer. She was just standing there like she wanted to say something. If only I could read minds. She realized she was just standing there and abruptly moved.

"See ya later… Mrs. Dennison." I gave her a sexy grin. I almost winked, but I thought that would be too much again.

She looked down the hallway and then back at me. "Yes. You will. See you later, Miss Davies." She smiled and walked towards the door where Miranda was on the phone waiting for her. Midway through opening the door she looked back at me and caught me checking her out. The look on her face was… I don't know. I really wished I could read minds.

"Is there something you need, Mrs. Dennison?" Oh how badly I had wanted to say that back to her.

She blushed, laughed and finally walked out the door.

Ha! I got my very sexy, gorgeous, smart, funny, and sexy teacher to blush. Take that, Madi and Casey. I hadn't lost my mojo. I mean my charm. Damn them and that stupid word. Tonight was gonna be fun. After tonight she wouldn't be able to resist me. I know, I know. This was so wrong, trying to seduce my teacher, but it felt oh so right.


	6. Chapter 6 Reading minds

_I own nothing but my imagination._

It took me nearly 3 hours to get ready for my performance tonight. I had a hot, older blonde to seduce, my teacher. I knew this was going to be quite the challenge.

For one, she was my teacher. I may not know her that well, but I was positive she had morals, unlike me.

Secondly, her husband died a little over a year ago and she could still be grieving. If there was one thing telling me to give this up it was that, but like I said I was stupid and stubborn.

Lastly, I wasn't even sure if she liked women. Of course, that hasn't stopped me from trying before. Let me tell you my success rate for getting the straight ones was surprisingly high. Surprising for you, not for me. I knew how hot I was. Now I wasn't trying to be cocky, but if a hot "straight" chick was telling you how sexy you are and screaming your name while you are going down on her, you would have a big head too. That had happened on more than one occasion so I have no choice but to believe them.

Anyhow, so I was saying. It took me nearly 3 hours to get ready. I took a shower, put on my face, dried my hair and let the curls hang down. I put on an outfit or 50 before deciding which one would make me look the hottest. I finally chose something simple...but sexy. Like I said, couldn't look too eager. I stepped out of my closet in my tight low rider blue jeans with ripped knees topped off with a black belt. I had a short blank tank on that rode up just passed my belly button and showed off my piercing and my musical note tattoo that started on my right hip went around my back and ended up around the left side of my belly button. I put on some black sandals and a little bit of jewelry. I sprayed on some perfume and checked myself in the mirror for the hundredth and last time. Hmmm, not bad! Would I want me if I were a 24 year old hot, sexy, blonde bombshell who just happened to be my teacher and oh yeah a widow? Uhhhh. Fuck yeah I would. I looked totally delectable and ...fuckable, if might add.

So off I went. I was a little nervous on my way to the club, another first. I was used to singing up on stage. I had been doing it almost every Thursday night and sometimes even Saturday nights for 2 years now. I was never at more peace with myself than when I was on stage. Music was truly my passion and every time I got up there I turned into a different person. I wasn't Ashley Davies Royal Fuck Up, I was Ashley Davies, musician. Ashley Davies, daughter of Raife Davies. Ashley Davies, up and coming multi-platinum selling artist. Yes that was my dream. Someday soon I would get that chance. I had multiple offers for record deals, but sadly turned them down. The one wish my dad has for me was to finish high school and enjoy at least one year of freedom before I signed it away to some record label, hopefully his record label. I wanted nothing more than to make my dad happy since he was really the only family I had. I wanted to make him proud.

I parked my silver, 2010 Chevy Camaro in my reserved parking spot and headed into the club. It was 7:00 and I had to do sound check before the club opened at 7:30. After the sound check I headed over to the bar for some water and to check my messages. Casey was supposed to come tonight. She came every Thursday night to support me. I didn't know if she was going to come considering she was mad at me. I still didn't understand what I did to make her so upset. No message, not really all that shocking. It was ten minutes until 8 and the place was crowded, but not packed. It was only Thursday night, after all. I looked out from the side of the stage and scanned the crowd for Casey and my special guests. I didn't see anyone other than a few familiar faces that were there every Thursday night. I wasn't nervous anymore. I was pumped for the show, but I was a little disappointed. It's not like I hadn't been disappointed before, lied to before, stood up before. I wasn't going to hold my breath.

I took the stage and scanned the crowd one last time. When I didn't see anyone, I sighed and hung my head down. Oh well. At least I had this stage, and my guitar, and my piano, and my band behind me, even if they were just the house band. I stood behind the mic and strummed my guitar briefly.

"Hey guys. For those of you who came to see me, thank you. For those of you who just came to get their drink on and listen to some music, I hope I don't disappoint. I am Ashley Davies. Hope you enjoy the show."

I started off with a few upbeat songs and then slowed it down a bit. It was time for me to sing a song that meant a lot to me, a deeply depressing song, but one that I had a lot of passion for. It always took a few minutes to prepare myself. I walked to the side of the stage and took a few sips of water. Then I walked up to my piano and sat down. I looked down at the keys and I just let go. My fingers danced over the keys and the passion took over. The band sat this one out. It was just me and the piano.

_2am, where do I begin_

_Crying off my face again_

_The silent sound of loneliness_

_Wants to follow me to bed_

_I'm the ghost of a girl_

_That I want to be most I'm the shell of a girl_

_That I used to know well_

_Dancing slowly in an empty room_

_Can the lonely take the place of you_

_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_

_Let you go and let the lonely in_

_To take my heart again_

_Too afraid, to go inside_

_For the pain of one more loveless night_

_For the loneliness will stay with me_

_And hold me till I fall asleep_

_I'm the ghost of a girl_

_That I want to be most_

_I'm the shell of a girl_

_That I used to know well_

_Dancing slowly in an empty room_

_Can the lonely take the place of you_

_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_

Let you go and let the lonely in

_To take my heart again_

_Broken pieces of_

_A barely breathing story_

_Where there once was love_

_Now there's only me and the lonely..._

_Dancing slowly in an empty room_

_Can the lonely take the place of you_

_I sing myself a quiet lullaby_

_Let you go and let the lonely in_

_To take my heart again._

I looked straight ahead or down at my fingers stroking the keys the entire song. I didn't like looking at the faces in the crowd while I sang this song. I felt like if I did they would see the sadness in my eyes and I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears that wanted so badly to be shed. The applause was appreciated. My eyes scanned the cheering crowd once again and landed on a booth in the back corner. I smiled as I saw Miranda's face beaming back at me. Spencer was there too, she was talking to the waitress. My heart jumped at the sight of her.

"Well enough of the sad songs. How bout we turn it up a bit. This next one wasn't written by me. It was actually written by one of my ex's, about me." I laughed. "Hope you like it" I giggled and then smiled big and the crowd yelled and whistled. I looked back over to Miranda and she was whistling with her two fingers. Spencer was still talking to the waitress. How long did it take to order a drink?

_A little tough love never hurt nobody_

_Never saw this coming, this side of me_

_I know where you're goin' with your sugar-laced talkin'_

_And it wasn't too hard to see_

I looked over at Spencer and she was playing with her phone. Great! Here I was trying to impress her and she wasn't even paying attention.

_You think you got me right where you want me_

_You think you got the whole story_

_I think that a proper fair warning might serve you well_

_So I'm here to tell you_

_It's not too late to do yourself a favor_

_And walk away, though I know that's never been your nature_

_By the way you've put yourself in danger__,__ cause you're playing with my heart_

_Playing with my heart__,__ you're playing with my heart_

I took a chance and looked over at the booth again. She was looking this time, but had no expression on her face. She looked over and smiled at Miranda who was clapping to the beat.

_Every good girl's got a real good reason_

_To believe in breaking all the rules sometimes_

_And I'm that girl__,__ baby you're that reason_

_And your scheming has caused me to cross the line_

_You lie__,__ but I'm a pretty good liar_

_You chose a game I can play better_

_You're bright, oh but baby I'm clever_

_So you might as well__,__ let me tell you_

_It's not too late to do yourself a favor_

_And walk away__,__ though I know that s never been your nature_

_By the way you__'__ve put yourself in danger__,__ cause you're playing with my heart_

_Playing with my heart, you're playing with my heart_

_For heaven's sake__,__ what are you thinking baby?_

_You won't catch what you've been chasing_

_Trust me when I say I can keep you running_

_But I'm not coming__,__ oh I won't come around_

_It's not too late to do yourself a favor_

_And walk away__,__ though I know that's never been your nature_

_By the way you've put yourself in danger_

_Cause you're playing with my heart__,__ playing with my heart__,__ you're playing with my heart_

The crowd clapped and yelled and whistled. I heard some vulgar comments. I heard: "I'll let you play with my heart, and anything else you might want to play with". I'm sure that was followed with an eye brow wiggle. I wasn't looking at the crowd. I was pissed. She didn't even acknowledge me. Shit! Maybe she wasn't impressed with the lyrics and the fact that they were written about me, but hey, she already knew who I was. No point in trying to hide it. Shit, shit, shit! I knew this was going to be a challenge. Give up I will not. I had one more song to sing and it had to be a good one.

I started strumming my guitar and the band followed shortly after.

_The way you move is like a full on rainstorm_

_And I'm a house of cards_

_You're the kind of reckless_

_That should send me runnin'_

_But I kinda know that I won't get far_

_And you stood there in front of me_

_Just close enough to touch_

_Close enough to hope you couldn't see_

_What I was thinking of_

Spencer was watching me...finally, her eyes all over me. I smiled into the mic as I belt out the chorus.

_Drop everything now_

_Meet me in the pouring rain_

_Kiss me on the sidewalk_

_Take away the pain_

_'cause I see sparks fly__,__ whenever you smile_

_Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down_

_Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around_

_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

_My mind forgets to remind me_

_You're a bad idea_

_You touch me once and it's really something,_

_You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be._

_I'm on my guard for the rest of the world_

_But with you I know it's no good_

_And I could wait patiently but I really wish you would..._

_Drop everything now_

_Meet me in the pouring rain_

_Kiss me on the sidewalk_

_Take away the pain_

_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

_Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down_

_Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around_

_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

_I run my fingers through your hair and watch the lights go wild._

_Just keep on keeping your blue eyes on me, it's just wrong enough to make it feel right._

_Lead me up the staircase_

_Won't you whisper soft and slow?_

The band stopped and it was silent as I sang the next few lines.

_I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show._

_Drop everything now,_

_Meet me in the pouring rain,_

_Kiss me on the sidewalk,_

_Take away the pain 'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile._

The band started back up as the song came to an end.

_Get me with those blue eyes, baby, as the lights go down_

_Give me something that'll haunt me when you're not around_

_'cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile_

_The sparks fly..._

_Oh, baby, smile..._

_The sparks fly..._

The crowd was up on their feet and the applause was overwhelming. I finally got them out of their seats and I got her to smile. Yep. She was on her feet as well. She along with everyone else was giving me a standing ovation. I only saw her though. I was staring at her, and I couldn't stop. She didn't look away. The applause died down and I finally snapped out of my gaze by a hand on my shoulder. It was the drummer, Dave.

"Great job, Hun. I think they enjoyed the show." He patted my shoulder. I just realized I hadn't thanked them. I re-adjusted the mic.

"Thank you, everyone. I hope you enjoyed the show. If you didn't well... sorry. Hope to see you all Saturday night." I nodded at a few people and waved at some others, mostly regulars. I made my way off the stage and to the back room. I spotted the manager Johnny.

"Assssshhhh" He gave me a big smile and put his arms out. Ugh! I hated hugging this guy, he creeped me out. He reminded me of the guy from 'Psycho', but not the newer one with Vince Vaughn. The original version. Yeah…that guy. Creeeepy. I had known Johnny for a little over two years. My dad hired him to run the place, even after I told him that I was pretty sure the guy was a serial killer. My dad laughed it off. He told me he was harmless and that he was the perfect guy for the job. I knew he was right. Johnny was harmless, but every time he smiled at me I saw images of him sitting in a rocking chair in the basement with a dress and a wig on. If you saw him you would say the same thing. Anywho, the guy had been nothing, but caring and supportive of me in those two years and even chased the blood sucking, record label people away when they wouldn't take no for an answer.

I stepped up with hesitance and hugged him.

"You did great out there as always, Ash" He smiled like a proud father.

"Thanks, Johnny. Hey you think you can go out back out there. I think I saw that Ass Chase Reynolds again. This is the third time, fuck the charm. I don't want to sign with his damn label."

"No prob, Ash. I'm on it." He rubbed my arm and then turned to leave.

"Thanks Johnny...For everything." He smiled and walked out the door.

Creepy, but he really was a nice guy.

I got to the dressing room and Mark was there at the door. He was our security. Yeah, we actually do need it. Drunk people + hot ass singers like myself= Mark throwing them into walls. No joke. He meant business. He held his fist out to me and I fist bumped him. He congratulated me on a great show and I thanked him.

"Looking for company tonight?" He asked me. By company he meant, women. Most nights I would get some visitors, sometimes guys, but mostly girls. It was public knowledge that I was a lesbian. Most nights I would happily accept some company, but not tonight.

"Nah, I've got some guests out there waiting for me."

I shot Miranda a quick text to let her know I'd be out as soon as I could.

I quickly took my shower and blow- dried my hair. It was rather unruly so I pulled it up in a ponytail. I changed into something similar to what I was wearing on stage, put some more makeup and perfume on and headed back into the club. I glanced at my phone and saw that it has been well over 40 minutes and also there is a text message from Casey. She would have to wait. I actually didn't want to hear what she had to say at the moment.

They were still sitting in the corner booth, laughing and sipping on their drinks.

"Hey guys. Glad you could make it. Sorry it took me so long to clean up."

Miranda immediately stood up and hugged me. Man this girl liked to hug!

"It's cool, Ash. Wow! You were amazing up there. Totally impressed me."

"Thanks, Miranda. It means a lot." I hugged her this time a little tighter. It really did mean a lot that she came. I turned to look at Spencer. "So what about you, teach? Did I impress you?" I raised my eyebrows in question.

She was looking up at me. Damn her eyes could put you in a trance. She tried to hide her smile behind her glass, but I could see it. She was doing that sexy grin thing again. She set her glass down and finally spoke.

"I was very impressed, Miss Davies." She took another sip of her drink, but never took her eyes off of me.

"Aww come on, Spencer. We're not in school. Pleeeeease don't call me, Miss Davies. Call me Ashley or Ash. I like both." I could think of a few other names she could call me. All very inappropriate, as you could have guessed.

"Okay, Ashley. You were amazing up there. I really enjoyed your music." She said.

"Well that's good to hear. It looked like Miranda was having a blast. You looked kinda bored there for a song or two." I pointed towards her phone. "I'm sure your phone enjoyed your attention though. "I didn't mean for that to sound so bitchy.

"Yeah. Uh, sorry. I had something I had to take care of." She was looking down at her phone. "Really though. I heard everything." She looked up at me when she said that last part. It looked like she was trying to read my mind. I was definitely trying to read hers. Someone cleared their throat. Oh… Miranda. Crap! I wasn't trying to ignore her, but Spencer was so distracting.

I broke the trance and looked over at Miranda who is sucking the last few drops of coke out of her glass with her straw. She looked like she figured me out. Uh oh… I am in trouble.

"So, Miranda, you want to hang out for a bit?" I asked faking excitement. I really did like Miranda, but I wanted to just sit here and stare at Spencer all night. No words are needed.

"Well actually I would love to...but." I sensed that coming. "It's almost 10 and I have to get home. I still have to do homework." She was sorry. So was I. That meant that she was leaving and so was her ride. She was going through her purse and I saw her grab a few bills to lie on the table. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom before we leave. Too many Cokes! Be right back, Spence. See ya, Ash. You were really amazing up there. Can't wait to see you do it again." She kissed my cheek and sped off to the bathroom.

I turned to look at the blonde. She was going through her purse as well. Avoiding me I presume. I sat down across from her. I reached over and placed my hand over hers.

"Your money is no good here."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly…"

"It's on the house, Spencer," I said, interrupting her.

"Ashley…"

"Seriously, don't worry about it. Think of it as a thank you for coming to watch me play."

"Well, thank you. It really was a great show," she said followed by a wide smile. Wow! You really couldn't blame me for staring. She blushed and looked down, stirring her drink.

I grabbed her drink and sipped it.

"Mmmmm. Jack and coke. My fave! We have a lot in common, Spence." She reached over to take the glass back and our fingers lightly brushed one another, she almost dropped the glass.

"You shouldn't be drinking Miss... Ashley. You're underage." She shook her finger at me. God… even that was sexy.

"Sorry. I was thirsty. Ya know… from the singing." I stopped Ruby the waitress and asked for a water. I wasn't sorry. My mouth was on the straw that was previously on Spencer's mouth. Mmmm.

"So what exactly are the things we have in common, Ashley?" Oh goodie. She was going to play along.

I put my finger to my chin like I was thinking. She smiled again. I loved that smile. "Well..." I bit down on my finger innocently. Yeah right. I looked her in the eyes. She was staring right back at me. "Well?" She questioned.

"We both have great taste in clothes." I couldn't see her bottoms, but her top was amazing. She was wearing a black short sleeve blouse with a very low cut. I was enjoying the cleavage. I wasn't too obvious, but I knew she knew what I was thinking in that moment.

"And?" She asked nonchalantly.

"We both enjoy good music." I gave her a cocky smirk.

She giggled. "That we do. Anything else?"

I leaned into the table so I could get closer. She seemed to know that I was about to say something inappropriate. She looked like she was unsure of what to do, but she didn't move.

"We both wish we could read each other's minds," I said calmly. My eyes left hers and dropped down to her lips, then back up to her eyes. I didn't need to be able to read minds to know she just stopped breathing.

She finally tried to saying something. She couldn't speak. She tore her gaze off of me and looked down. "Shit…" she mumbled to herself. I didn't think I was supposed to hear that. I giggled and leaned back in the booth.

She looked up. "Ashley…I"

"I'm ready, Spence. C'mon." Great timing, Miranda! Spencer slowly stood up. She grabbed her purse, threw it around her shoulder and smiled at me.

"Good night, Ashley. See you tomorrow morning. Don't forget you owe me a paper." With that, she turned around and left. Miranda smiled and waved.

Oh I didn't forget about the paper. As soon as I got home I planned on writing it. I watched her walk away so I can guess you know what I was looking at it. All I could say is 'Damn' once again. This woman really was perfect. I would go to sleep with a smile on my face tonight and hopefully dream of her.

I pulled up to the house... or mansion. Call it what you want. Lovely! My mother was home. There went my good mood. As soon as I opened the door I heard her. She was throwing things around in the kitchen again.

"Ashley…is that you?" I ignored her.

"Ashley Marie Davies, where the hell is my good stuff?" Uh…I hid it.

"ASHLEY! GET IN HERE! Where did you hide it you little bitch?" I should've just walked back out the door. So I did. I got in my car and drove and drove. I finally stopped in a parking lot of neighborhood park.

God I hate her. She was looking for her good stuff. Her good stuff ...anything that would get her drunk or high, anything to make her forget about her sorry life, her husband that left her, her daughter the lesbian. Damn right I hid it. Well actually I threw it away, poured it down the drain, and flushed it. I tossed it all. My amazing night turned into the usual, alone and miserable. I cried myself to sleep in my car. Definitely not the way I hoped the night would end.

* * *

><p><strong>Songs:<strong>

The Lonely- Christina Perri

Playing With My Heart- Kate Voegele

Sparks Fly- Taylor Swift


	7. Chapter 7 Oh Mother!

_I own nothing but my imagination_

I woke up to the sun shining in my face. My head hurt and my back was sore. I guess that's what I got for sleeping in my car. I could have gone to Madi's, but it was late and everyone was probably asleep. I didn't want to wake anyone and explain to them why I needed a place to stay at 11 at night. Leave it to my mother to ruin a great night. I needed to stretch. I got out of the car and stretched until my bones cracks. Leaning back against the car I soaked in the sun for a minute. It was a beautiful morning and it was just then that I grabbed my phone and checked the time. I turned it off last night. My mother was blowing it up. I turned it on and it read 10:37 am. SHIT! In a matter of seconds it started going crazy. Texts, missed calls and voice mails all popping up at once. I wanted to throw my phone away, get into my car and leave town. I wanted to get away from my mother for good. Instead, I sighed and pressed the voicemail button.

Voice mail: 8:27am. Madison- _Where the hell are you__,__ Ash? Mrs. Dennison is soooo pissed. She asked if I knew where you were. Call me, please._

Voice mail: 10:19am. Unknown number- _Hi__,__ Ashley. It's Miranda. Haven't seen you yet in school, not that I usually do__,__ but just wanted to say that I had a great time last night. Like I said you were amazing and so talented. Uh, give me a call if you want or not. Ok. Bye._

Wow! It wasn't the first time I had received a voicemail like that. I got one from Miranda and I didn't even sleep with her. How did she even get my number?

The two texts from Madi said the same thing her voicemail did. 'Where are you? Call me. Where are you?' blah blah! I texted her back telling her that I would call her later.

Text message #1 9:12 pm. Casey_- Ash__,__ I am sorry for going off on u earlier. I got in a fight w/ Melissa. Had to go c her 2nite. Sorry I missed the show._

So she went off on me because she got into a fight with her girlfriend.

She missed my show because she got into a fight with her girlfriend.

So I get punished because she got into a fight with her girlfriend.

Whatever.

Text message #2 10:53 am. Casey- _Hey. I said I was sorry. Please call me or at least text back. I miss you._

Which part did she miss, I was wondering. Calling me out on my 'flirting, fucking and bolting' as she so nicely put it, or actually acting like my best friend.

I texted her back. _Miss u 2, but still mad at u. Can I come over tonight?-A_

I needed a place to stay tonight just in case my mother was still at home. She quickly texted me back.

_I know. I AM sorry. Of course__,__ u can come over. Stay the night 2nite. Just us 2.-C_

_Sounds good. Call me when u get out of school.-A_

_Ok. Wish u were here. U haven't skipped all day in a while. Hope u don't get into trouble.-C_

_Me too. Well__,__ the getting into trouble part. Later Case.-A_

I wasn't worried about getting into trouble. Dad would take care of it. He would usually call Mr. Goodman personally and usually he would end up threatening to stop the donations he made to the school. I know it sounds horrible, but he thinks he is being a good dad. I wanted to drop out last year because I figured I didn't need a diploma to be a rock star. Dad threatened that if I didn't graduate he would make sure that never happened. So here I was 4 months away from graduating. If it wasn't for him I would have probably been expelled by now.

I stunk and I my eyes looked horrible from crying. I needed a shower and fresh clothes. I needed to go home, but I was afraid of bumping into my mother. Maybe she was passed out on the kitchen floor. Hopefully! I pulled up to the house and sighed in relief, her car wasn't there. Thank God! I pulled into the garage hoping if she came home she wouldn't think I was there. She's not too smart. I opened the door and it was quiet. Well, quiet except for the pitter patter of little puppy feet running towards me. I picked him up and nearly smothered him with kisses. Spike. Yes, Spike. He was named after the baddest Vamp ever. Spike was a teacup terrier. He was about the same size as a baby rabbit. I wanted to take him everywhere with me, but I was always afraid I would lose him. I ran up to my room. Spike in my arms and as I got to my room I noticed the door was open. Of course, the bitch tore my room apart. I noticed a note on my bed, my bed that was stripped down to the mattress.

_I know you hid it, Ashley, or even worse threw it away. That's okay. I will just take the money out of your account for the new stuff. See ya later Sweetie. Ta ta for now. Love ya, Mom._

Bitch.

I called my Dad right away. He didn't answer and neither did his manager, which wasn't surprising.

After a long shower I quickly did my hair and makeup. I packed a bag, scooped up Spike, and headed downstairs. I didn't get too far. My mother was standing at the bottom of the stairs. Hand on her hip, glare in her eyes. Wonderful!

"Well hello, Sweetheart," she said with a sarcastic tone. I ignored her.

"I didn't teach you to be rude, Ashley. Speak when spoken to."

"You didn't teach me anything, Christine." I resumed walking down the stairs and right past her, but she grabbed my arm. "Listen here, you little bitch. You are not going anywhere. So take your useless ass back upstairs, put your bag away then come back downstairs and clean the kitchen."

"You're crazy. I'm not cleaning up the mess you made looking for your stuff." I shook my head and ripped myself from her grip.

"You will if you want any of that money left in your account."

I turned around quickly and she was smirking. "You wouldn't?"

"That depends."

"You have no right," I said on the verge of tears.

"I have every right, Ashley. You live in MY house and eat MY food. Not to mention, I gave birth to you. I figure you owe me."

I was so angry at that point I walked up to her and got in her face.

"Just because you gave birth to me and let me live here and put food in the fridge does not give you the right to take what is rightfully mine. Dad gave that money to me and as soon as he calls I will let him know what you are doing."

"Ashley, stop being so naive. Your father couldn't care less about you or your money. And he's not going to call. He's too busy."

"He does care. He loves me." I was crying at this point and she looked like she could laugh. I wiped my tears and got right back in her face.

"I know that it drives you crazy that he loves me and not you. Get over it. Go find one of your boy toys and disappear like you usually do. Hell, I will give you my money if you will just disappear. Go be the absentee mother you so love to be. I don't need you. You are nothing but a miserable, bitter, old hag with a bad drug habit and…"

**SMACK!**

Yeah, she just slapped me.

The anger in me boiled over, but I couldn't move. I just stood there and held my cheek. She could see the anger in my eyes and I think she was scared of my reaction. She turned around and walked out the door. I was so tired and angry and hurt and tired. I couldn't possibly go anywhere. I walked back upstairs and back to my bed, dodging the frames and clothes and odd items that cover almost every inch of my floor. I curled up into a ball and cried myself to sleep once again.

I heard the T.V. and I didn't remember ever turning it on. Oh great! Hope my mother wasn't back and in my room. I slowly looked up and over to where the T.V. was and I sighed in relief. It was Casey. She was sitting on the couch in front of my T.V. engrossed in some stupid reality show. That's not the only thing I noticed though. I noticed that it was after 7pm, I slept a long time. I noticed there was nothing on the floor. The frames were back on the wall and on my bookshelf. The clothes, I'm guessing, were back in my dresser and closet. Casey cleaned my room. I started crying again, but this time, happy tears. She must have heard me because she rushed over to me worriedly.

"Oh Ash. Shhh. I'm here." She pulled me into her and I lost it.

"It's okay. You're not alone. I'm not going anywhere."

This wasn't the first time she had come over to comfort me. This wasn't the first time my mother and I have had this kind of fight. And I'm fairly certain it wouldn't be the last. Thank God for Casey, she was all I had.

She pulled my face up to look at me. I was such a mess.

"I love you. You know that?" She smiled and I told her I loved her too. "What do you say we get out of here? Get some food. Watch movies all night."

I chuckled at her giddiness. She loved watching movies, especially the crappy ones.

"Okay, only if I get to pick them out though." She shoved me playfully.

"Fine, but I get to pick the food. C'mon lets go."

We were both lying on her bed, stuffed and watching our second movie of the night. There was nothing to say. She knew that I didn't want to talk about it. I knew that she wouldn't talk about her girlfriend. As I was lying there watching Serendipity a hot blonde entered my mind. For the first all day I thought of Spencer. I wondered what she was doing. I wondered how mad she was at me. I wondered if she thought of me at all. I wondered if I even had the slightest chance with her. Mostly, I wondered if I was just setting myself up to be even more miserable than I already was. But I couldn't help, but feel like we had something. There was definitely something between us. As I was sitting there thinking about Spencer I found myself smiling for the first time since I said goodbye to her the previous night. Everything was going to be okay. It couldn't get any worse, right?


	8. Chapter 8 Not happening

_Hey__,__ guys. Thanks for the reviews. I do plan to take things slow. I want to make this story as real as possible. No worries._

_I own nothing but my imagination._

It was Saturday night. I loved Saturday nights, especially when I was up on stage. I just finished my show, thanked the crowd and headed to the dressing room. I quickly showered and made myself 'HOT' again. The club was packed. People were so close they were sweating on each other. I squeezed my way through the crowd and headed towards the bar.

I heard a few things on my way…

"Awesome show, Ashley!"

Well, thank you, I do try.

"Hey, Ashley can I buy you a drink?"

Nah, I didn't feel like getting drugged tonight, maybe tomorrow.

"You should totally have a record contract"

Yeah, I know. Tell my dad that.

"So you're a lez huh? Can I watch?"

Ugh!

"Hi, Ashley. I've never been with a girl, can you satisfy my curiosity?"

Well, see… I would love to; baby, and normally I would jump at that chance. However, my hot teacher has killed my game. I only think of her. I only want her. I won't settle for less.

I finally reached the bar. Casey saved me a seat. She was chatting with some chick right beside her. I nodded to Sandy, the bartender, and she slid me a glass of water. I don't bother Casey, who hasn't even noticed that I was sitting next to her. She was totally macking on the taller brunette with a nose piercing and a neck tattoo. I guess she was still fighting with the 'girlfriend'. I didn't dare interrupt the macking. I started to sip my water and nearly spit it out when I heard it. Laughter. I knew that laugh. It couldn't be. I turned my head towards the laughter and I saw her. She was looking hotter than I have ever seen her, if that was possible. Tight blue jeans that fit her perfect body well… perfectly, a black corset type shirt that was tight in all the right places and rode up a bit just enough to get a peak of the skin on her stomach, long, wavy golden blonde hair draped over her shoulders. Her blue eyes were sparkling as she laughed. I couldn't move. Hell… I couldn't breathe. All I could do was stare. Stare like an idiot. I seemed to have perfected the open-mouthed stare since I first saw her. And like always she caught me. She was looking back at me and once again, I couldn't read her expression. It was somewhere between happy and pissed at the same time, if that is at all possible. She excused herself from her group of friends and headed towards the bathroom.

Casey was still lying on the charm. She had her hand on the girl's leg and the girl was giggling. She wouldn't miss me, she didn't even know I was there. I was finally able to move and I shoved through the crowd towards the bathroom.

As I entered the bathroom she was leaning up against the sink. I'm pretty sure she was waiting for me. I could totally read her expression now. Fucking pissed!

"Well I can see now why you never have time for school work," she said to me in the bitchiest tone.

"Um. I." I couldn't find the words. Fuck Davies! Get it together.

"Is that all you have to say? '_Um. I_.' I don't get you, Ashley." She was waiting for a response and it had to be good.

"I know you're mad about the paper, but I honestly wanted to write it. I was excited to write it. I was going to write it. Things just came up." I didn't want to get into detail. I hoped I wouldn't have to.

"You know, Ashley. I hoped that they were wrong; all of the teachers who told me you were a hopeless cause. I wanted to believe that you were smart enough, that you just needed a little push. You only came to class when you were forced to, but you showed interest. So… I told myself they were wrong. You weren't hopeless. I don't want to be wrong, am I? Do you just come to class to gawk at me? "She was all over the place and clearly pissed. Not to mention, she called me out on the gawking.

"First off, thank you for giving me a chance and not listening to the others, but they're right. I am a lost cause. Howevvvver, I do take your class seriously and I did actually want to write that paper. I even read one of Poe's stories. Trust me I was not able to sleep afterwards." She loosened the frown on her face.

"I'm sorry. I don't actually come to class just to 'gawk' at you, even though you are very easy to 'gawk' at. I admit that at first I didn't want to be there, but then I heard you talk about Poe and poetry and the passion in your voice and in your words inspired me. I wanted to be there. The gawking was just a bonus. "She was still pissed, but not foaming at the mouth anymore. She let me go on. I was gonna have to give in and give her something.

"Look, I fully intended on writing that paper and handing it to you personally on Friday morning. After the show Thursday night I kind of got into with my mother and ended up sleeping in my car. I overslept and I am truly sorry." She looked surprised and maybe even a little sympathetic. She finally spoke.

"Ashley, I want to believe you. I do. I keep trying to push all of the voices out of my head telling me that I shouldn't. 'Lost cause', 'Should be expelled', 'Doesn't even want to graduate' and so on. I'm not one to give up though. I know you have a lot of passion too. I had to listen to your music teacher go on and on about you the other day. Seems you impressed her with your piano playing. "She smiled. Yay!

"I will give you another chance, Ashley, just one more. I want you at school on Monday and I want that paper. It better be damn good too." She was so hot when she was like this. Okay so she was hot when she did anything.

"Thank you. I won't let you down."

"Good." She started to walk away. I grabbed her arm. I don't know what I was thinking I guess I wasn't. I startled her, but she didn't move my hand.

"So do care about all of your students as much as you seem to care about me?" I asked seriously, just a little flirty. She looked down at my hand on her arm and then back up into my eyes.

"Only the ones that I know have a lot of potential and are wasting it. I mean it, Ashley. I won't give up on you even if you give up on yourself."

"Is that all this is, you caring about my potential?" I wanted her to know I wasn't joking around. She broke eye contact and looked up at the ceiling. She sighed and then looked back at me.

"This is one thing that I do want you to give up on. It's not going happen, Ashley."

"That passion you were talking about. It's right here." I waved my finger towards her and then me. "I don't think I can give up." She looked away once again. I lifted my hand to her cheek and turned her head back towards me. I kept it there and softly caressed her cheek. She couldn't look me in the eyes.

"We both know this is more than just you be a caring teacher." Finally her eyes found mine.

"Ashley, this cannot, and will not happen. Please. Let it go. "She was shaking slightly. She looked scared. I took my hand off her face. I didn't like the fear I saw in her eyes. I nodded and looked down at my feet.

"Ashley?" I looked back up at her, getting lost in those blue eyes. I knew she wanted me. She was struggling to hold back. She reached her hand up to move some hair out of my eyes. Her fingers lightly brush my forehead and I felt it again. I felt it run through my whole body and I know she did too. I wanted so badly to kiss her but, but I wouldn't. I would wait. I would wait until that fear was no longer in her eyes. I would wait until the only look in her eyes was… love.

Did I just say love? Oh God! I had it bad.

"It's okay, Spencer. I understand." I backed away and leaned up against the sink.

"Good." She let out the breath she was holding and reached for the handle of the bathroom door. "I'll see you Monday, Miss Davies"

"Of course, Mrs. Dennison. I'll bring my paper...and an apple." I smiled big. She laughed.

"Granny Smith are my favorite." She smiled again then she was out the door.

So I knew now that she definitely wanted me. I just had to be patient and my usual charming self. That shouldn't be too hard, except maybe for the fact that when she was around I turned into an open- mouthed, can't find the words, lovesick fool. I had to show her that I was not a lost cause. Maybe I could show myself that too. I had to show her I could be mature and responsible. I had to show her that I didn't just want to 'flirt, fuck and bolt'. Shit! It just hit me that for the first time that was not what I wanted. Now I was scared. Okay, I was over thinking this a bit. I know that she was what I wanted. The only thing I wanted. This indeed was going to be the biggest challenge of my life. I didn't mind that one bit. Starting Monday I was going to say goodbye to the old Ashley and hello to the new. I would do this for Spencer no doubt and maybe a little bit for myself.


	9. Chapter 9 Apples and Smiley's

_I own nothing but my imagination._

I spent Saturday night at Casey's. She said I could stay as long as I wanted. I told her I would stay until my mother left for another vacation, which I was sure she had already booked. I went by the house on Sunday morning with Casey. She didn't want me going alone. My bodyguard, which was kind of amusing considering Casey was smaller than me. It was the thought that counted and I was glad she came with me. The bitch wasn't home. So I packed a suitcase of clothes just in case, and grabbed Spike. I couldn't let him stay here alone with that Vulture. When we got back to Casey's I started my paper. It took me most of what was left in the day to write it. I even had Casey's mom edit it for me. She was an editor for the L.A. times. I re-read it about 15 times before I decided it was worthy of Spencer's eyes.

Monday morning I woke up early. Reeeeally early for me. The alarm went off at 5am. Casey turned it off and then slugged me in the arm for waking her up that early. Then she rolled over and went back to sleep. The new Ashley was ready and out of the house by 6:30. I had just enough time to stop at the corner market and Timmy's for my Iced-Cap. I needed a large one today. When I reached the parking lot of the school I realized just how early I was when I pulled into a spot in the second row. Sweeet! I got out and walked towards the empty quad. I noticed Spencer's car wasn't there yet. Good. Just as I wanted. I pulled every book out of my locker and put them in my bag. When they hit the bottom of the bag I was hit with a cloud of dust. Guess I hadn't used them in a while. Yeah, like 5 months. I walked down the halls that had just started to fill up and headed to class. Well this was a first. Me, Ashley Davies, being the first one to class. I walked over to Spencer's desk and set my paper down in the middle. Then I placed a delicious Granny Smith apple on top of my paper. I sat down at my desk, leaned back and propped my feet up on the chair in front of me. I hoped she wouldn't be much longer or I would fall asleep. Just as I yawned she walked into the classroom. She jumped. I guess I startled her.

"Good morning, Miss Davies." She looked confused, probably wondering what the hell I was doing there so early.

"Good morning, Mrs. Dennison" I smiled big and then winked.

"You're here rather early this morning."

"Yeah well I'm trying to impress the teacher. Is it working?" I tilted my head to the side and smiled again.

She picked the apple off the desk and bit into it. So fucking hot! She sat down in her chair and leaned back.

"How about I read that paper of yours and then I will tell you if I am impressed."

She picked up my paper and then reached for something in her purse, her glasses. Holy fuck she looked hot in those glasses. I wanted to study her face for some kind of sign as to whether she liked it or not but she just sat there expressionless and ate her apple. After about 5 minutes she put the paper down and took another bite of her apple. She didn't look at me. Then she started writing something down on my paper. I was about to ask her what she thought but was interrupted by a few students coming into the classroom. They looked over at me with the same confused look she had. Geez, give a girl a break. So I was early for the first time… ever. Call the frickin' press!

The bell rang as the last few students came in, Madi included. Spencer never once looked up at me. I was kind of scared. Maybe she didn't like my paper. I worked so long and hard on that thing. I would probably cry if she didn't like it. Madi sat down and immediately turned towards me.

"Wow Ash. You're here before me. Must be trying to get back in Mrs. Dennison's good graces?"

"Exactly, but get used to seeing me. I am going to be "Skip Free Ashley" until school ends," I said proudly.

"Hahahaha" snort "Hahahaa" snort. Yeah that was Madi laughing at me. Bitch.

"Gee Madi. Glad to know you have so much faith in me." I looked away from her and towards Mrs. Dennison who was writing on the chalk board. In big letters she wrote, "The Raven".

"Oh come on, Ash. It was funny. You not skipping a day in one whole week is impossible. How are you going to go 4 and half months? And why? This has something to do with Mrs. Dennison, doesn't it?" I didn't get the chance to answer her. Mrs. Dennison took a seat on the front of her desk with her legs crossed and her arms in her lap. Today she was wearing a grey pinstriped pant suit. The jacket was tight around the waist and only had one button. She wore a light gray camisole underneath and had her hair pulled up into a ponytail. And, of course, the glasses. This woman was a Goddess of Hotness. Seriously. Damn!

"Good morning, everyone. So now that we have a better understanding of Edgar Allan Poe we can start reading some of his work. This week we are going to read "The Raven". It will not be easy though. Poe had an extensive vocabulary. He used a lot of uncommon words that even back then were uncommon. He used a lot of ancient and poetic words. So we will have to go line for line, stanza for stanza. Together we will figure out just what Poe was saying. I have printed out a copy so that everyone will have their own."

She handed a stack to everyone in the front row and directed for them to pass them back. She then began to talk a little more about the poem and then shortly after we started on the first stanza. As she talked about the poem and what its words meant I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She spoke with such passion and understanding. You could hear it in her voice and see it in her eyes. You could see in her mannerisms. You could feel it in the entire room. She made you want to understand what she was saying. She made you want to listen. I was so focused on every move she made, every word she said. I didn't even hear the bell ring.

"We made good progress, guys. I will see you all tomorrow morning."

I gathered my stuff and threw it in my bag. Just as I stood up she spoke.

"Miss Davies, stay." She pointed to my chair. Uh Okay.

Once everyone was gone she walked over to me. She sat down in the chair next to me. She was so close I could smell her perfume. I inhaled and almost died right then. She smelled so damn good.

"So I read your paper." She handed it to me. I looked down and saw a smiley face. You're kidding me.

I looked up at her confused. "Did I get a grade? Is smiley here code for an 'A'?"

She chuckled. "I didn't intend on grading them. Just wanted to see what you learned so far."

"So you liked it?" I questioned with a smile.

"I wouldn't say.. Like." Huh? I thought smileys were a good thing.

She sensed my confusion.

"Ashley, I loved it." Did she just call me Ashley? Gulp.

"Oh. You loved it? You were impressed?"

"I was thoroughly impressed. It seems you learned a lot. Your paper actually stood out from the rest."

I faintly heard the bell ring signaling I was late to my second period. That wouldn't bother the old Ashley. But old Ashley was no more.

She must have heard it too. She got up and walked towards her desk.

"Well I'd write you a note for your second period teacher if I thought you were going to go there." She sat down at her desk and looked at me for a response.

I pulled my math book from my bag and held it up. "I wouldn't carry the big book of numbers for nothing."

She laughed . "So you're actually going to go to all of your classes today? No 3 hours naps in your car?"

What? How did she know about those? Did all of the teachers know? Damn. I guess there is no backing out of the new Ashley.

"What, you didn't think we knew?" She laughed again.

"I guess I'm not as sneaky as I thought I was."

"I guess not."

"So how about that note, for second period." She looked surprised.

She started writing on a piece of paper in front of her. She looked up at me and smiled while she handed it to me. When I went to grab it she pulled it back.

"You're going to go to 3rd and 4th too right?" Was that a question or a demand?

"Of course, Mrs. Dennison. I wouldn't miss them for anything. Well except for maybe more classes with you." I looked into her eyes trying to show her the meaning behind my words. I think she understood. I walked up to her desk and leaned up against it. Our hands were inches away from touching.

"Ashley," she said quietly, almost a whisper. "We talked about this. You said you understood."

"And I do understand, but I can't help but want to spend more time with you. I want to learn more about you. I want to learn more from you." I took a giant risk and moved my hand over and onto hers. Just barely so our fingers were touching. She didn't move it away. She just looked down at it.

After a few seconds she sighed and pulled her hand away. "You need to go, Miss Davies. Here's your note." She handed me the note and when I looked into her eyes I saw that fear again. This time mixed with a little anger. I may have pushed it too far. Shit. I just couldn't help myself. I just wanted to touch her. I nodded and turned around ready to walk out the door.

"See ya tomorrow, Mrs. Dennison," I said without looking back.

"Tomorrow, Miss Davies. And thanks for the apple."

I walked out the door, but not before looking back at her one last time. She had her head in her hands. I didn't know what to make of it. I know what I told her. I did understand. She was my teacher. I was her student. But...of course there was a but… I was pretty damn sure I was in love with her. Fuck!


	10. Chapter 10 Rain

_**I own nothing but my imagination.**_

Second period was sooo much fun. Lie #1. I walked into class and Mrs. Thompson's eyes followed me as I found an empty desk. I sat down and looked up at her. She was so confused. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Better 5 months late than never, right?"

She didn't laugh. "I suppose," was all she said.

Some of the students laughed. Some rolled their eyes.

Mrs. Thompson thought it would be fun to make me do several equations on the board in front of the class. I finished every one quickly and confidently, I might add. To say she was surprised was an understatement. She had to pick her jaw up off of her desk. Hey, I said I hated math, didn't say I wasn't good at it.

My "friend" Amanda the genius was in this class. I say "friend" because we don't really talk much these days. Ever since I came out she avoided me. Her and her BFF Glenda were still friends with Chelsea, who was one of my closest friends. So we all kind of hung out together. Anyway she avoided me, but still talks to Casey. Didn't understand that one and honestly I didn't really care. We were never really that close to begin with. Probably because she thought I was an idiot. Judging from the look on her face after I solved the last equation, I was going to conclude that I was right.

I sat down at my desk and looked over at Amanda. The smug look I gave her made her roll her eyes. I was actually enjoying this class. I had kind of missed math. Lie #2. I don't really miss it, but if I have to come every day to let the New Ashley play. So be it.

Teachers were so childish. They were supposed to be helping mold us in to strong, confident, responsible adults. Ha! You would think I disrespected them. Well, I guess they weren't too happy that I skipped their classes for 5 months. Mr. Daniels didn't seem to like the fact that I had showed up to his class either. I was so excited when I found out we were dissecting a sheep's heart. Lie #3. After 5 minutes I wanted to vomit. I made my new lab partner do most of it. Mr. Daniels thought he would be nice to me and made me clean all of the utensils and trays.

Jerk!

So I somehow made it to lunch. Although, after everything I just saw and touched I wasn't in the mood to eat. I grabbed a Coke out of the vending machine and headed to the quad. It was sprinkling out in the quad.

Rain. The smell was so intoxicating to me, especially since it is rare here. I walked out and looked up to the sky. I let the rain drops hit my face. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Feeling better already I headed toward my table. What I saw there set me off.

Carmen. Carmen "I fucking want to kill her" Vasquez. It took me back to 2 summers ago.

_"Ash__,__ we can't. We'll get caught." She looked at me with her big droopy brown eyes__,__ so innocent._

_"Case, trust me. We're not gonna get caught. It's 1am. Everyone's asleep." I reached for her hand._

_She hesitated at first. Then she smiled and grabbed it. I pulled her through the backyard and over to the pool. Casey had never been pool hopping and I was bored out of my mind. Nothing to do at 1 am but sleep. Nah!_

_I stripped down to my underwear and slowly slid in. She stood outside of the pool with her arms crossed._

_"C'mon, Case. Live a little." I gave her a sexy grin and my signature wink._

_"You just wanna see me in my underwear. Are you sure you're not a guy?" She asked while laughing._

_"Shhhhh. Geez. Do you want us to get caught? Get your cute little butt in here before I come out there and throw you in."_

_She sighed and then started undressing. I didn't look away. I couldn't. Casey had an amazing body and I stared at her imagining the things I wanted to do to it. She watched me watching her as she slowly stepped into the pool. And I mean slow. She knew what she was doing to me. Shy Casey must have went home because Bold Casey was standing right in front of me. Nothing__,__ but lust in her eyes. I stepped forward and grabbed a hold of her hips._

_"Hi," I said in an almost whisper._

_"Hi." She smiled and bit down on her bottom lip._

_"You could get me to do just about anything__,__ you know?"_

_"I know__.__"__ I was that good!_

_"How do you do that?" She asked._

_"Part of my charm?"_

_"Nope__.__"_

_"What then?"_

_"Your eyes," she said looking directly into them._

_"My eyes did not tell you to get in this pool." I snickered._

_"Yes. They did." She pulled me closer. Our hips touched__._

_"Nope. Pretty sure that was my mouth."_

_"Well__,__ I wasn't listening to what you were saying."_

_"Okay. What is it that my eyes are asking you to do right now?"_

_"Well. Right now….."_

_Casey and I had been flirting for months. When summer started it got more intense. This was as far as we had got. She closed her eyes as I leaned in. She pulled me in the rest of the way and I gently pressed my lips against hers. Her hands immediately went right to my hair. The kiss deepened and we both moaned. She traced my bottom lip with her tongue and I let her in. I was shocked at this side of Casey. Shocked and very turned on. We made out for a little while in the pool and then I took her home._

The next day pictures were all over MySpace and Facebook. Pictures of Casey and me making out in the pool. Carmen's neighbors pool. Bitch had over 10 pictures of us going at it. I was pissed, but Casey was scared and hurt. I didn't care that I was just outed. Casey did. She went through a rough year with her family and even some of her friends. She avoided me for a couple months and it killed me. One day she showed up at my doorstep begging for forgiveness. Of course, I gave it to her. We became a couple after that, but like I said it didn't work out. Over the next year and a half Carmen made her life hell. Which in return made me earn several suspensions.

Right before me I saw Carmen and in front of her Miranda. Those weren't rain drops on her face.

Carmen was gonna get me suspended again.

I walked over to her ready for a fight. Miranda saw me coming from over Carmen's shoulder. I noticed how her eyes went from scared to relieved. Carmen turned around and smirked. At that moment, I wanted so badly to knock her perfect teeth out.

"Get the fuck away from her. Now!" I was seething.

"Hello to you, too, Ash."

"Don't you dare call me that! We aren't friends. Nor have we ever been."

"And that leaves me oh so broken hearted, Ash." She put her hand on her heart.

I looked over at Miranda who was wiping her eyes with her sleeve. "You okay, Miranda?"

She nodded. "I'm fine," she said so quietly that I barely heard her.

"If Carmen here is bothering you please tell me. I need an excuse to kick her sorry ass."

If looks could kill I would without a doubt be in jail by now.

"No. No it's fine. We were just talking."

I don't know why she was lying. Why was she so scared of her?

"Yeah, Ash-ley. We were just having a friendly conversation."

"Friendly conversations don't usually involve tears."

"Ashley, I'm fine. Really. I'm uh. I'm gonna go now." She scurried off. Trying to escape Carmen I bet.

"So is Miranda your new play toy?" Her eyes followed Miranda as she left.

"She's a friend. So leave her alone or else I will have no choice but to knock your teeth in."

I was inches away from her with no intention of backing down.

"The kind of friend you make out in pools with?" I couldn't believe she just said that.

She was not backing down either.

"Watch your mouth, Vasquez. You're two seconds from…"

"Two seconds from what, Ash? Oh right. You're gonna knock my teeth in." The bitch laughed.

"I told you not to call me that!"

She was trying to see how far she could push me before I snapped. We had history. She knew it wouldn't be long.

"I'm not afraid of you, Ashley. You're nothing but a stupid, little, slutty, DYKE who sleeps with anyone who will spread their legs. You're shit Ashley. Waste of space. No wonder your Mom hates you and your Daddy never comes home."

CRUNCH!#

That was the beautiful sound of Carmen's nose. Which I am fairly certain I just broke.

She fell to the ground, blood streaming down her face and hands, then down to her shirt.

"You broke my nose you bitch!" She yelled, holding her nose.

"You deserved it," I said calmly.

I knelt down to her level and whispered in her ear.

"Stay the fuck away from me, Casey, Miranda and anyone else I care about. Or next time it won't just be your nose I break. M'kay Punkin." I patted her on the head and stood up.

She jumped up and launched herself at me. She grabbed onto my hair and started pulling it. Typical girl. I laughed and then realized that her bloody hands were in my hair. Eww! I finally snapped out of my disgust and started trying to push her off of me. She stumbled a little and I stepped forward with the intent of hitting her again. Suddenly I felt two hands around my waist pulling me back. Carmen fell to the ground again.

"Stay down there where you belong, Vasquez!"

"Ashley, shut – up!" Said the voice of the person holding my waist. They let me go and I turned around. Spencer. She looked worried. Next to her was Miranda. And if things couldn't get any worse Mr. Goodman was standing there, too. His face had on that "you're in deep shit" expression. Great!

"Ashley, what happened here?"

Before I could answer Spencer, Miranda cut in.

"She was defending me."

"Defending you from whom?" Mr. Goodman was a slow one.

"From her, obviously. She is a bully and needed to be taught a lesson!" I spat.

"A bully? Whatever. "Carmen laughed

"And by teaching me a lesson she means breaking my nose." She slowly stood up.

Who the hell told her she could get up?

"You got what you deserved."

"Alright. That's enough!" Mr. Goodman interrupted.

"Miss Vasquez, go to the nurse and get cleaned up. Then go have a seat in the office." She walked off towards the door, her face bloody and her skirt wet and muddy from falling on her ass. Twice. I laughed internally.

"Miss Davies, you're suspended. Go home."

"You're kidding me, right? What was I supposed to do? Let her get away with bullying other students."

"Miss Davies, whether or not this was about you defending Miss Dennison, your actions were uncalled for. If you witness someone getting bullied you report it. Violence is not tolerated here. No matter the reason."

"What about Carmen?"

"Carmen is my problem. Not yours. Now go home" With that he turned around and headed back in.

The rain had really started to pick up. I didn't care. I guess Miranda and Spencer didn't either.

"Ashley, I'm so sorry." Miranda was hugging me again. This time it was not awkward at all. When she pulled back she had tears in her eyes again.

"Thank you for defending me. Again, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Carmen is a bitch. I just wanted her to back off and it turned into another fight between us. It's not your fault. I was happy to defend you. That's what friends are for, right?"

She smiled. "Right." Then she hugged me again. Seriously. This girl liked to hug.

"Miranda, you need to get to class," Spencer demanded.

"Okay. Bye, Ash. Thanks again." And she was off.

I dared to look over at Spencer. I knew she was probably mad. I was surprised when she had a smile on her face.

"You mean you're not gonna yell at me, too?"

"No. I've been waiting for someone to shut up Carmen Vasquez for far too long." Huh? What?

"She's been picking on Miranda for a few months now, teases her for being quiet and to herself. She's been through a lot. Thank you for what you did." Wow...I was shocked. She didn't yell. She thanked me.

"I talked to her a few times and even went as far as reporting her to Mr. Goodman, but he never got around to talking to her."

"So I did his job for him and this is how he thanks me? That's bullshit." She laughed.

"I'm pretty sure that breaking noses isn't part of his punishment plan. You really shouldn't have hit her. But off the record, thank you." She was nothing, but sincere.

"It was truly my pleasure." I gave her the biggest smile I could muster up and she smiled back.

The rain had died down and we were just standing there smiling at each other. An onlooker would assume there was indeed something between us. They wouldn't be wrong.

She saw me holding my hand. "Is your hand okay? You didn't break that, too, did you?"

"I don't think it's broke. Just a little sore." She reached for it. There was that shock again. She traced my sore knuckles with her fingers and I gasped.

"Nope. No broken bones." I don't know how she could tell, but I believed her. She let my hand go.

"Good thing for that. I can't play piano or the guitar with a broken hand."

"And that would be a shame. Can't have that. So no more fights, okay?" She begged. And could I resist her? Uh no.

"No more fights. I promise."

"Good. Now get out of here. I'm gonna go talk to Mr. Goodman. I'm pretty sure I can get him to revoke your suspension."

"Gee… thanks." Note my sarcasm.

She laughed again. "No problem." She started walking away, but turned around at the door. "See ya, Rocky." I got a wink and another smile and then she was gone.

"Bye, Spencer," I said even though I knew she couldn't hear me.

What a day! Wait. What a half a day. After all of the excitement I was finally hungry. I walked out of the quad and to my car. I stopped and got some burritos then headed home. On the way home I thought of Spencer. Yeah I know, what's new? Her beauty was obvious. It's all I noticed at first. But as I got to know her more I started noticing it wasn't the only thing that made her perfect. She was beautiful, no doubt, but she was also genuine, smart, caring and funny. She made me laugh and as much as I love that in a woman it wasn't the main thing that drew me to her. I felt safe. She made me feel safe. And although, she will probably never admit it, wanted. She made me feel wanted. And not just in the sexual way, in every way. As much as I wanted to tell her all of this. I couldn't. It was too soon. And I was scared. Scared of being in love, scared of not being enough, scared of wanting more from her than just her body. I hadn't felt like that in well…never. This wasn't just about seduction anymore. This was more than that. Not only did I want to seduce Spencer, but I wanted to make her fall in love with me. To do that I would have to get rid of the old Ashley for good. That would be the hardest thing I had ever had to do. But Spencer was worth it. I had no doubts about that. Goodbye Old Ashley.


	11. Chapter 11 Voluntold

_**Thanks for the reviews guys. So exciting to hear what you have to say.**_

_**Like I said I own nothing but my imagination. Yadayadayada**_.

My mom was out by the pool talking to someone on her phone. I hoped it wasn't the school calling. She was screaming at someone. I felt sorry for them. I made my way up to my room and flopped down on my bed. I was exhausted. I closed my eyes, ready to take a nap when my phone beeped.

Text message: Madi- _U broke Carmen's nose? LOL. I'm so proud of u girl_.

Ten minutes later, another text message. Casey- _We r so celebrating 2 nite. Bitch got what was coming 2 her. Luv ya._

I laughed out loud and threw my phone on the bed. Seriously, I needed a nap. I guess it wasn't going to happen though. I heard my mother making her way up the stairs. She burst in my room without knocking. And she said I have no manners.

"Really, Ashley. You skip school enough as it is, and now you go and get yourself suspended. What is wrong with you? Are you trying to get some attention from your father? When are you going to get it through your little brain that he doesn't want you? He doesn't care Ashley. Now I have to go to your school tomorrow and meet with your principle. I was planning on getting my nails and hair done, but now I have to go up there and try to explain to them why my daughter is such a nuisance. Are you even listening to me?"

She took her shoe off and threw it at me. WTF? I glared at her.

"I heard every word you said, Mother! But I just don't think any of the bullshit you just spat out is deserving of a response."

"Watch it you insolent little brat. Not only can I get into your bank account and leave you penniless, I can put you on the street too. So keep it up. Temp me, Ashley. I won't hesitate for second."

I believed her. She's wanted to sell this house for years and move to Waikiki. She even took surf lessons, but after only an hour she slept with the instructor, so there went that idea. The only thing keeping her here was that she would have to find a new hairdresser. No joke. She actually told me that. I have such a loving mother.

"Why do I even bother? You're just like your father." She finally got the hint and left.

"Thanks for the compliment, Christine!" I yelled and threw her shoe towards the door way.

Sometimes I wondered what I did in a past life to deserve a mother like that. It's not just her that I wondered about. I knew my dad loved me, but I was not naïve enough to believe that he loved me more than himself. He knew how my mother was. He knows she is the Wicked Bitch of the West. He knows how she treats me like I am disgrace to humanity. Yet he leaves me here with her. He leaves me here to fend myself off from the Beast. He knows how screwed up I am. I put all of this aside when he calls. I bury it deep, because I convinced myself that the love he gives me is better than no love at all. I'll take what I can get.

Casey and I went out to dinner. She took me to Nobu in West Hollywood for Sushi. She even paid. I should break Carmen's nose more often. We even toasted to Carmen's broken nose. "May it heal crookedly."

It was Tuesday morning and my mother and I were waiting outside Mr. Goodman's office. He was five minutes late and Christine was fuming inside. She hadn't spoken to me since she pounded on my door at 5:30 am and told me to "Get the fuck up". What a pleasant way to wake up.

Finally Mr. Goodman arrived. He invited us into his office and pulled out a chair for my mom. How chivalrous of him. Gag! He went on and on about my attendance or lack thereof.

"Now with all due respect, Mrs. Davies. Ashley here should have been expelled by now." Tell someone who cares.

"Well, than why haven't you expelled her?" See what I mean.

"As much as I hate to admit this. Your husband's contributions to this school have been greatly appreciated and depended on."

"So he is paying you to not expel Ashley?" Ding, ding, ding. We have a winner!

"I wouldn't put it that way. We could have easily given up on Ashley and expelled her, but we have chosen to give her another chance. Does that have anything to do with the money? Yes, but it isn't the only reason." Bullshit!

There was a knock on the door.

"Come on in," Mr. Goodman said.

What is she doing here? Oh no. She can't meet my mother. This isn't good. I was gonna throw up.

"Hello, Ms. Davies. I'm Mrs. Dennison. I am Ashley's Literature teacher." Spencer reached out her hand, but my bitch of a mother didn't shake it.

"And why are you here?" And she says I am disrespectful.

I shrunk back in my chair. Spencer looked shocked at my mother's words.

"Mrs. Dennison here has come up with a better form of punishment for Ashley."

"I wouldn't call it punishment, Mr. Goodman," Spencer said.

"Well, we figured since Ashley doesn't like to come to school it wouldn't make sense to suspend her. So she is going to join our schools student volunteer program."

"Do I have a say in any of this?" I finally butted in.

"If you don't want to become a volunteer you can always stay after school every day and help clean the dishes and trays in the cafeteria. I am sure the janitors could use some help with the toilets too."

Okay Spencer you got me.

"Fine. I'll join your group," I said with faked excitement. Woohoo! Yippee! Hooray! Rah!

"Good. Great. I'm going to go now. I have an important appointment to get to." Yeah, getting your hair and nails did is so high-priority. And who sees their hairdresser at this time of day anyway. She must be sleeping with him/her.

"Thank you for coming in, Mrs. Davies." Even Mr. Goodman seemed shocked at my mother's apathetic behavior. No shocker here.

"You're free to go, Ashley." He nodded towards the door.

"Thank you for not suspending me." Yeah I said that. There's that shocked look again.

"You're welcome, but you should be thanking Mrs. Dennison. It was her idea after all."

I looked over at Spencer. She was leaning against the bookcase. In my head I was imagining pushing her up against it and… oh sorry.

"Thank you, Mrs. Dennison," I said sweetly.

She nodded and smiled. "You're welcome. Don't make me regret it."

"I won't. I promise. See you in class." I opened the door and left.

We read more of The Raven today and I even volunteered to read out loud. I knew it would make Spencer happy. She was the kind of teacher who expected class participation. During our discussion, which mainly involved her raving about Poe's use of words and the meaning of them, I caught her eyes on me several times. I know for a fact she blushed one of the times that I caught her. Oh yeah. She wanted me. Sorry… New Ashley was even cockier then Old Ashley.

She made me wait after class again, this time to give me some information about the volunteer program.

"So what exactly am I volunteering for?"

"Well, lots of things. We go to hospitals, nursing homes, homeless shelters, churches and volunteer our services for whatever they need. We sometimes clean up parks and help out Habitat for Humanity as well."

Well the last part sounded cool but…wait, did she say "we" as in us… and her?"

"So, this is your program then?"

"Yes it is. And I am very proud of what we do."

"Mr. Goodman said this was your idea."

"Yes. It was. It's a lot of hard work, Ashley, but I know you can handle it."

"So you wanted me in this program. So you could spend more time with me?" I wiggled my eye brows.

"Ashley!" She sighed. "You know it's amazing you can even get your big head through the door."

"What? I'm just saying. This would be a great chance for you to get to spend time with me and not have to worry your pretty little head over it being 'inappropriate'."

"Ashley, everything you say and do is inappropriate. Yet, here I am still talking to you."

"And what is that supposed to mean exactly?"

"I am not concerned about your inappropriate behavior because it doesn't mean anything. This illusion that you have about us is never going to happen." She folded her arms across her chest and gave me a confident smile.

"So you're saying that I don't have a chance?" I asked with a sad, but not serious pout.

She laughed and shook her head. "Yes, Ashley. That is what I am saying and I do believe I have said it before."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's it? So you are going to finally give up?"

"For now." I smiled and then headed towards the door as the bell rang. Oops! I guess I was going to be late for second period again.

Spencer walked over and hands me a late slip again to give to Mrs. Thompson.

I grabbed it and held onto her hand.

"You know if you keep holding me up like this I'm going to have no other choice then to assume that you have a hard time letting me go."

She tilted her head to the side and leaned in towards me.

"Goodbye, Ashley." She pulled her hand away, walked into her classroom and shut the door. Might as well have shut it in my face. Damn!

Can you feel the love?

The rest of the week went by fast. Miranda had become part of our clique. She had taken a liking to Chelsea and vice versa. They shared an interest in Art. Everyone seems to like her. We have all kind of taken her under our wing. She's like the little sister. Carmen hasn't bothered her, at all, and she had avoided me. Well except for when she shoulder checked me on Thursday. I wanted to go after her, but Miranda held me back. Casey had finally told me that her and Melinda or Michelle, whatever her name was, had broken up. Darn.

Thursday night sucked. There was a fire in the electrical room at the club so it was closed indefinitely. I really needed to get up there on stage. I was so depressed. My mother had finally disappeared. She didn't even tell me this time where she was going. I think she finally got the hint that I don't care as long as she wasn't home. We got into another argument right before she left. She told me she wished I was never born. She wanted to have an abortion, but my dad wouldn't let her. Well that sure explained a lot. She didn't want me at all. Chelsea and Miranda decided to take me out to cheer me up. We went to dinner and then to an art exhibit that featured one of Chelsea's paintings. Thank God for good friends or who knows how much more screwed up I would be.

Friday came and went. It was time to P-A-R-T…Y? Because we gotta! There was a party at this guy Tim's house. Tim was Madi's on and off boyfriend. Most of the time ON…if you know what I mean. Wink wink. So we were dressed to kill and headed to the party. Casey, Chelsea, Me and Miranda, of course. She was really nervous. I was surprised she has any nails left. We got out of the car and headed in. I pulled Miranda back.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just a little nervous. It's my first party. Do I look okay?" She was so cute… in a little sister way, of course.

"Yes. For the tenth time tonight. You look gorgeous. Really. Don't worry so much. You don't have to do anything you don't want to and if anyone messes with you just let me know." I pounded my fist into my hand.

"I have a wicked right hook." I smiled and she laughed.

"So I've heard…and seen with my own eyes."

"Let's do this." I grabbed her hand and we went inside.

It was the normal high school party, kids dancing and making out everywhere, a keg in the kitchen, drunken girls kissing and guys egging them on. Pigs! Outside some kids were smoking weed. I opened the fridge and grabbed a beer for me and Miranda. Not a fan of keg beer. I explained the rules of high school parties to Miranda.

**Rule #1**- Do **NOT,** under any circumstances, set your drink down.

**Rule #2**- Do **NOT****,** under any circumstances, take a drink from anyone other than a close friend.

**Rule #3**- Do **NOT**, under any circumstances, go up to a room with a guy before talking to your friends.

**Rule #4**- Keep in mind that if you do anything stupid it will be posted on the internet, so DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.

Rule #5- Always look out for your friends. Okay that's mostly my rule considering I was always the most sober of the bunch. What? You're surprised? You shouldn't be. I see what drugs and alcohol do to my mother. That's the last thing I want.

We were all hanging out in the kitchen talking about Carmen. I was sitting up on the counter. Casey was in front of me and I was playing with her hair. That was normal behavior for us. The conversation changed suddenly.

"So how's it going with your crush, Ashley?" Madi asked out of nowhere.

Miranda and Chelsea looked curious. Madi was smirking. And Casey was pissed. She moved away from me and took a sip of her drink. What was with her?

"It's not going. You were right. She's out of my league. I gave up. Happy?" Then I gave her the "shut the fuck up" look.

"Awe you have a crush, Ash? Who is it?" Chelsea asked.

"Yeah...is it anyone we know?" That was Miranda.

"NO. Uh no. It's nobody you guys know. Just somebody I met at the club. It doesn't matter." I tried to make myself sound indifferent.

Madi must have got the hint.

"So you got your eye on anyone else? I saw that hot chick from King outside, the one that tried to get in your pants in the bathroom at Pure."

"You'd have to be more specific, Mads!" Spat Casey.

"Fuck you, Casey. What is with you lately? You're constantly on my fucking case. And as I recall…YOU tried and DID get into my pants in the bathroom at Pure." Take that!

"Yeah. Well, it wasn't hard." She took another sip of her drink.

I was about to say something clever back when Miranda interrupted.

"Wait. You guys are gay?" We all looked at her. She was trying not to smile and was holding in a laugh.

We all busted out laughing. Man I loved this girl.

We finally made it into the front room where everyone was dancing. I sat down on the steps with my drink. They all started dancing. After about 10 minutes I needed to pee. I shouted to Chelsea to look out for Miranda and went to the bathroom. I had to wait about 5 more minutes to actually get in there. Geez. I did my business, washed my hands and opened the door. Someone pushed it open from the other side and threw me up against it. The girl from King who tried to get in my pants in the bathroom at Pure. I really needed to get her name.

"Hi, Ashley." Apparently _she_ knew _my_ name.

"Uh, Hi! Um…Amber?" The look on her face told me I was wrong.

"Close, but no. It's Jessica." Uh I only had one drink right? Those two names weren't even remotely close…right?

"Hi, Jessica." She had me pinned against the door with her knee between my thighs. This wasn't good. She started kissing my neck and before I knew it her mouth was on mine. She was a really good kisser, but Spencer's face kept popping up in my head, her lips, and her smile.

I pushed her off of me and her back hit the sink. I wiped my mouth.

"So you like it rough, huh?" She propped herself up on the sink and the way she was sitting, her skirt inched up and I could clearly see she wasn't wearing any underwear. Holy shit! Now normally I would be all over her. I wouldn't have even hesitated. But I couldn't get Spencer out of my head. And the little action I just got from Jessica made me feel guilty. Like I had cheated.

"Sorry, Jessica. I'm not really available." She looked embarrassed, but not enough to walk away. She hopped off of the sink and walked over to me. She trailed her finger from my lips down between my breasts and finally stopped at my stomach.

"You sure you're not available. I would make it worth your while," she whispered in my ear. Her hand started trailing lower.

I grabbed her hand and yanked it off of me. Then pushed her away…again. I needed her to get the hint.

"I said I'm not available. Back off."

I turned around, opened the door and walked out, right into Casey. She looked at me and then at Jessica stumbling out of the bathroom behind me. She shook her head at me, anger all over her face.

"Are you kidding me, Ashley? That girl is wasted. You'll never fucking change." She stormed off.

I yanked her arm back before she could get too far.

"Nothing happened with her, Casey. And why do I feel the need to keep defending myself to you? You're my best friend." My voice cracked.

"You're right, Ashley. I am your best friend. Which is why I have no problem calling you out."

"Nothing happened with her, Case. I pushed her away. You don't have to worry about your slutty best friend." I let go of her. I was so hurt by her assumptions. Old Ashley would have had sex with that girl right there on the sink, without even thinking twice. But I had changed. In a matter of a week I had transformed myself into a one woman, woman. In the past I would have deserved what Casey had said. I wouldn't have been bothered by it. She would have been right. I walked outside and sat down on the steps. I couldn't stop the tears. Was I really that horrible person that my mother had always said I was? I sat with my head in my hands and sobbed. I felt a hand on my shoulder. When I looked up I saw Miranda.

"Do I need to return the favor and break someone's nose?" She smiled, a hint of concern in her eyes.

I laughed and wiped my eyes.

"No. Well not unless you'd be willing to hit me." She looked confused.

"Huh?"

Yep.

"I. I'm just starting to regret a lot of the things I have done in the past. I've done some really screwed up shit, used a lot of people. I'm not very proud of myself at the moment."

I looked up at her hoping I wouldn't see disgust. I was sure she heard the rumors.

"Ashley, do you know what I see when I look at you?"

"One hot fucking chick?" She laughed I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Besides that, you big goob." She slapped my arm playfully.

"Did you just call me a… goob?"

"I did. Anyway, I see a beautiful, caring, strong, brave, amazingly talented and surprisingly smart, girl. Someone who I know I can count on. Someone I trust. Someone who would have my back no matter what. Someone who would break someone's nose to defend me. You have been a great friend, Ashley. If it wasn't for you I would probably be at home right now being a hermit in my room."

"Thanks, Miranda. It means a lot that you think all of that of me. It really does." I hugged her. Yes, I initiated the hug for once.

"So about that hermit thing. Spencer said you've been through a lot. That's why you're quiet and keep to yourself. Does that have something to do with losing your brother?" I hoped I didn't cross the line. She looked unsure, like she was debating telling me or not.

"It's okay. You don't have to talk about it."

"No. It's okay. It's just hard to talk about. Especially here." She looked behind us to the open door. The party was still going strong.

"Well, how about we get out of here. Go get some ice cream. Spill our guts."

"Sounds good. Uh, can we go to your house though?"

"Sure. Let me just go let everyone know. I need to see if they can get other rides."

"Okay. Why don't you go get the car?" I hand her the keys. She looked like I just gave her my car.

"Really? You'd let me drive it?" If it was my Camaro, hell no I wouldn't. We drove here in my Lexus RX.

"Sure. You do have your license, right?"

"Yeah. Uh. Are you sure?"

"Yes. Now go before I change my mind."

I found Madi and Chelsea. Tim was gonna give them a ride home. Now I just had to find Casey. I looked all over the house for her. Twice. I finally find her in the upstairs bathroom making out with some chick I had never seen, some chick that looked like she was too old to be in high school. I cleared my throat and their heads whipped towards me.

"I'm leaving. Tim is going to drive you home. If you don't already have a _ride_ that is." Then I left. I didn't have to say anything about how angry and hurt I was. I didn't have to say anything about how she was basically doing the very thing she accused me of doing. She knew. She could hear it in my voice and see it in my eyes. Casey and I were growing apart for some reason, just as Miranda and I were getting close. That had me wondering if this was all connected somehow.

Miranda was hanging out of the driveway waiting for me. She had this big goofy smile on her face. I got in the passenger side and we were off.

"So how about we just make this a sleep over since it's so late?" She suggested.

"That sounds good to me, as long as you don't snore."

"Nope. But I grind my teeth."

"Ouch. Well you can sleep in one of the guest rooms then."

"One of the guest rooms? How many is there exactly?"

"Don't know. Two or three. Anyway, you can pick."

"Do you mind if we stop at my house so I can get some clothes? I'll be fast."

"No problem. You're driving."

We pulled up to her house. It was kind of small. A cute little bungalow with sage colored siding and white shutters. Very homey. There was a black Range Rover in the driveway and I wondered if it belonged to Spencer. What would she be doing at Miranda's house at this time of night?

"Um. Is that Spencer's car?" I asked as she put the car in park.

"Uh. Yeah." She said like it wasn't a big deal. "Nice, isn't it?"

"Totally. So is she usually at your house so late at night?" She looked at me strangely.

"Well, considering she lives here I would have to say yes." Huh? What?

"You didn't know that I live with Spencer?" Come again?

"No, I didn't. How would I? And why? Why do you live with Spencer?"

I think I asked too much at once.

"We'll talk about that later when we're 'spilling our guts'. Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

"I'll be right back." She hopped out of the car and jogged to the door.

Miranda lived with Spencer. WTF? I never would have guessed that.

Five minutes later she came back out, but she was not alone. O. M. G!

Spencer was right behind her. She was barefoot and wearing cute pink pajama bottoms with white stripes and a white tank top. Her hair was up in a bun with a pencil stuck threw it and she had on her black framed glasses again. I was trying to shut my mouth, but I couldn't move. I could catch some flies right now. She saw me and laughed. Her laugh snapped me out of it. She was leaning on my open window.

"Hello, Ashley." Her voice was so fucking sexy.

"Hey, Teach," I said after I finally managed to compose myself.

"So how was the party?" She looked at the both of us.

"Boring, as in dull and tiresome."

She laughed at me.

"Thank you, Ashley. I do know what boring means."

"So what are you guys up to now?"

"Headed to my house. We're gonna have a sleep over. Wanna join us?" The eye brows were doing the wiggle again.

Miranda slapped my arm and Spencer looked at me disapprovingly.

"You guys have fun. Don't stay up too late. We've got to be at the hospital by Noon." She patted my arm and then said goodnight.

Oh right. My Saturday's have now become volunteer day. More like volun-told. At least, I'd get to spend more time with Spencer.

We headed to my house and I couldn't help but feel that tonight was going to be very emotional. Miranda was a mystery to me, but I can't help but feel that we may have a lot of the same issues. What was she hiding? Why does she keep to herself? Why does she live with Spencer? All of these questions were going to be answered tonight. That kind of scared me. There was one thing I was certain of, Miranda needed a friend, someone she could talk to, and someone she could relate to. I would be that friend. I would be that someone. Spencer was the reason I started talking to Miranda. It must have been fate. Maybe fate had something in the works for Spencer and me. I just had to be patient.


	12. Chapter 12 Spilling guts

**Thank you all for the review. You don't know how happy it makes me to read them and know that you are actually enjoying my story.**

***noodles307 & momo0424 -Yes Ashley's mom is a bitch and her dad is an ass. As for Casey..we will see ;) Spencer may have a reason as to why she is acting the way she is acting. I may or may not have a Spencer P.O.V. This chapter is all about Miranda and Ashley. Hope you enjoy.**

***no1spacecadet - Glad you finally remembered your password. LOL.**

***FFReviews- Happy to hear I have reeled you in and hooked you. LOL. I will be getting in to some back stories. Thanks for the comment and hope I don't disappoint.**

***tbplrbear1- Thanx. Miranda is definetly a breath of fresh air for Ashley. And I hate how Madi is always the bitch so I thought I would change that up.**

***dazedlvr07- Raife coming home and Christine getting put in her place are definite possibilities.**

***Chimera452Bast- Thank you so much for showing your appreciation. It means a lot. Truly. I do indeed have a strong passion for music and literature. I am actually a big fan of Poe and poetry itself. Music is very important to me. It puts me at peace. Hope you enjoy that playlist :) I know there are a lot of similar stories. I wanted to try out a more realistic storyline. As for the Beta, I'll get back to you on that :) Hope you enjoy the next chapter.**

As always..I own nothing but my imagination.

We were sprawled out on my bed. Neither of us could move. An empty tub of mint chocolate chip ice cream lying on the floor.

"Ugh. Why did you let me eat all of that?" I whined and then belched. "Oops. Excuse me." We both laughed and it hurt.

I don't recall you telling me to stop. I think I ate more than you did."

We laid there for about ten minutes and then finally sat up. Both not quite ready to bring up what we initially left the party for.

Of course my curiosity finally broke the silence.

"So uh. How come you stay with Spencer? What about your parents?" I hoped that I didn't come across nosey or pushy.

"WOW. Right to the serious stuff huh?" Miranda said and then laughed.

"Yeah. Sorry. I always say and ask what's on my mind. You'll learn that about me. Always so blunt."

"I do believe I already knew that. Actually yeah I found that out in our first conversation."

"Guess I've always been that way. Sorry." I hung my head slightly.

"Don't be sorry. It's part of who you are. And I happen to like who you are. Very much so." She placed her hand over mine which caused me to look up and smile.

"How about we start off with some lighter questions. Then get to the harder ones later. But hey. Every question you ask I get to ask one in return. Deal?" Miranda suggested.

"Deal. You go first." I had to think of some "lighter" questions to ask.

"Okay. You have a crush on Spencer don't you? That's who Madi was talking about right?" Geez. I thought we were saving the hard ones for later.

I laughed. "What makes you think that?"

"Uhh. It's kind of obvious Ashley. You have hit on her at least 3 times in my presence alone that I can recall." Oops.

"Miranda. I hit on every hot girl I encounter. That's just me."

"You haven't technically answered the question Ashley." Miranda said straight faced.

"Okay. Fine. You got me. I have a crush on Spencer. But it's harmless. We both know that nothing will come of it." The truth hurts.

"Okay. Thank you for being honest."

"My turn." I said excitingly.

"Um. Let's see. Ooh. Do YOU have a crush on anyone?"

"Really? That's your question?" Miranda looked surprised I couldn't come up with something better..juicier.

"Hey. You said no hard questions. That's all I got…Well?"

"No, no crush. Don't really know very many boys. I mean we go to an All-Girls school and I'm not very social outside of school either. " Miranda voice was quiet and had a hint of disappointment in it.

"Well we'll have to change that." I know I would have no problem finding the perfect guy for Miranda. The girl was pretty, funny and smart.

"Okay. The first day you talked to me, was that because of Spencer?" I pursed my lips. I knew this question might come up. She suggested the "light" questions but wasn't asking any.

"Honestly at first I didn't know you knew Spencer. I just saw a girl who was struggling to get her books into her locker. I just wanted to help. I will admit once I knew, I wanted to get more info from you. That day I invited you to my show we had a great conversation and I liked talking to you. You made me laugh. And when you guys showed up at the club I was so happy. Happy that you BOTH were there. It meant a lot to me. Really." This time I put my hand over Miranda's.

"Good. You made me laugh too. To be honest before I knew you I was a bit scared of you." She laughed.

"I know. I saw it in your eyes. Why were you afraid of me?"

"I don't know. I judged you based on rumors. I don't know why I listened to them. Probably because I would never have been brave enough to find out for myself." She looked ashamed.

"What rumors did you hear?" I already knew what rumors Miranda was talking about.

"Oh you know. Bad ass, lesbian chick that sleeps around and parties hard. Don't stare at her or she'll beat your ass." She laughed and shook her head.

"Well some of those are true. Some of them used to be true. Some of them were never true. I am a bad ass though. Whoever spread that rumor had that one right on." I gave her my cocky grin. She laughed again and then playfully slapped my arm.

"I don't know if you were going to ask this but I wanted to tell you anyway. I don't want to keep anything from you. The fight with Carmen, it wasn't just about defending you. I mean seeing you cry and knowing that she did that. Well. It fueled an already out of control fire. She knew how to push my buttons and I lost it."

"It's okay Ashley. I already knew that. The bad blood between you and Carmen Vasquez is no secret. But I saw the look of concern in your eyes when you saw me. And because of you Carmen hasn't bothered me since. So thank you. Again. And thank you for telling me the truth."

I shifted myself on the bed so I was completely facing her. She smiled at me and then took a deep breath. She knew what I wanted to ask.

She put her head down briefly. When she raised it I saw tears. I grabbed both of her hands and squeezed them. I wanted her to know I was here for her. She quickly wiped her tears with her sleeve and then took another deep breath.

"When I was twelve my parents were killed in a car accident. I was at school and Aiden was in the office waiting for me. As soon as I saw him I knew something bad had happened. He literally had to pick me off of the floor and carry me to his car." She paused. I was in complete shock and I couldn't stop the tears from slowly trickling down my cheeks. She looked at me. The pain so obvious in her eyes.

"It was just Aiden and I. We didn't have any other family. So I moved in with him and Spencer. As you already know he died last year. So now Spencer is the only family I have left."

She completely broke down. Sobbing into my shoulder. I could do nothing but hold her and stroke her hair. I whispered over and over again. "It's okay."

But is it? She lost her entire family. Her mother. Her father. Her brother. How could that be okay? If she didn't have Spencer where would she be? Foster care? On the streets?

It broke my heart to think of everything she had been through.

I remember losing my grandma when I was 14 and thinking it would never be okay again. I remember thinking life wasn't fair and locking myself in my room for days refusing to eat. My mother couldn't deal with me so she called my dad. It was one of the only times I can remember my dad physically being there for me.

Miranda only had Spencer now.

It's no wonder she kept to herself. Fear of letting in. Fear of loving. Fear of losing.

I could certainly relate to that.

Even though my parents were still very much alive, they really didn't exist in my life. My mother, only to tell me I was a mistake and how much she loathes me and my father who can't be bothered to take two seconds out of his awesome Rock star life to call and just say "Hello".

Miranda cried herself to sleep on my lap. I laid there holding her wishing I could take away her pain I couldn't. All I could do was cry. And I cried. I cried for the loss of her mother. I cried for the loss of her father. I cried for the loss of her brother. I cried for her. I cried for Spencer. And I cried for myself.

I hoped that in the morning Miranda would be okay. Whether she was or not I would be there for her. Because I felt that she needed me to be. And that feeling felt new. And that feeling, even though overwhelming..felt good.

I know it was short and sad. Sorry.


	13. Chapter 13 Hallelujah

**As always THANK YOU all for the comments. They truly do bring a goofy smile to my face.**

_I own nada._

I am jolted from my sleep by the sound of an annoying ring. Thinking it is my alarm clock I roll over to my left and reach out to pound the snooze button. Why can't I find it? Why does my bed feel so hard? Why am I so cold? I wipe my eyes and look around. I am on the floor. How the fuck did I get on the floor? "Hello" A groggy voice says. It's Miranda. The annoying ringing sound must have been her phone. "Okay. See you at noon." She said and then threw her phone down on the bed. My bed. My bed that for some odd reason I am not in.

She looks down at me and snickers. "Sorry. I am a bit of a crazy sleeper. I must have kicked you out of bed."

"I knew I should have made you sleep in the guest room." She laughs again and I should take that as a good sign but I ask anyway.

"You okay?" She knows why I am asking.

"Yeah. I am. Thanks Ashley. For listening. For being here. For the shoulder." She smiles at me and then scoots over to the side of the bed so she can stand up. She then holds her hand out for me. I take it.

"C'mon. We gotta get ready. Have to be at the hospital by noon." Okay. Guess she is done talking about it.

I glance over at the clock and it reads 9:30.

"We have plenty of time. Why are we getting up now?" I just wanted to go back to sleep. In my BED.

"You are taking me to breakfast. Dur!" She giggles. So cute.

I am. "I am."

"Yeah. You own me."

"Uh. I do. For what exactly?" Did I miss something?

"For me being so cool about the whole Spencer thing. I mean she's practically my sister. I should kick your butt." Is she serious?

She laughed. "I'm kidding Ash. About the butt kicking thing. You're still buying me breakfast." That's the first time she has called me Ash.

"Oh please. Like your little scrawny butt could kick my ass. Did you forget who I am , already?"

"No. I haven't forgotten. I just added Big Softy to that list." She tilted her head and smiled.

"Haha. No. BAD ASS. B-A-D A-S-S." I am not soft.

"Oh. Right. Sorry. Ok BAD ASS. Let's get ready. I'm hungry."

"You know. I think I like the old you better. You know the one that didn't talk so much."

"Ash. You didn't even know that girl. And it's not like I didn't talk at all. I just didn't talk to people I didn't want to talk to." She said with her hand on her hip.

I come out of the closet ready to go. I look over at Miranda and she is staring at me with wide eyes.

"What?"

"You are not wearing THAT are you?"

"What is wrong with THIS?" I point to my outfit. Tight black skinny jeans, black bra, red vest.

"We are going to a hospital Ash. Not a club."

"Are you trying to say I look like a slut?"

"I don't know. Do you usually look like a slut when you go to a club?"

"Yes."

She laughs. "Ok. Then yes."

"Ugh. Hold on. I'll change."

This time I came out wearing a pair of blue jeans. Ripped of course. A tight white V-necked t-shirt and a pair of red chucks.

I look over at her waiting for her approval.

"Much better. Let's go."

Gosh. Who knew she could be so bossy. I kinda liked it.

We went to breakfast. Which I paid for. She left the tip. Afterwards she thanked me , hugged me and kissed me on the cheek.

"I'm really glad I met you Ashley." She smiled and looped her arm through mine as we headed to my car. Today I brought the Camaro and she begged me to let her drive it the whole way to breakfast. I told her nicely "Hell NO". We hopped inside the car and I turned to her.

"I'm really glad I met you too." She shyly smiled back and then looked out the window.

"We should get going. Spencer will be pissed if we're late." She said as she strapped on her seat belt.

Spencer pissed. I wouldn't mind seeing that again.

When we arrived at the hospital we headed straight to the main entrance. The door slid open and we saw her immediately. She was standing with about 5 or 6 other students. Most of them I didn't recognize. And of course the moment I saw her I felt it again. It coursed through my entire body. The heat. From the tips of my toes straight to my heart. Today she is dressed simple. And anyone else wearing blue jeans, Nike running shoes and a gray University of Michigan hooded sweatshirt would just look..normal. But seeing Spencer like this. She looks anything but simple and normal. She looks fucking hot. She has her hair up in a ponytail again and has very little make-up on. And still…fucking hot.

I try to keep myself under control. Now that Miranda knows about the crush I know I have to tone down my obvious obsession with her "sister".

"Hey girls. Glad to see you made it." She says with a smile. "Everyone, this is Ashley. Ashley this is Christina, Brandy, Martin, Tonya, Greg and Tiffany." We all exchanged greetings. Even though I didn't know any of them I am pretty sure they knew me judging by the looks I was getting. Whatever! Can't a girl change?

"Okay now that everyone is here we should head up. First I will explain what we will be doing today. I know most of you already know but we have a newbie. We are going up to pediatrics where there are eight kids we will be assisting. I have chosen a patient for each one of you. You will spend 2 hours with your patient and your job is simple. Talk to them. Listen to them. Play a game with them. Just sit with them if that's what they want."

She told each one of us what the patients name was and what room number. We hopped on the elevator and went up to the 5th floor. I was the last one out of the elevator and Spencer pulled me aside.

"Ashley there is a couple reasons I chose you for Alyssa. One, she is your age. Two, she loves to play guitar. Three, you can make her laugh and that may be just what she needs." She looked sad. Concern in her eyes.

"What are you not telling me Teach?" She took a deep breath and looked around. I could see it in her eyes. She didn't want to say it out loud. And she didn't have to. I knew what she was going to say.

I walked down the hallway and found a chair up against the wall. I sat down and put my head in my hands. Why me? I can't do this. Spencer sat down next to me.

"She has 6 months at most." Her voice was shaky.

"Are you kidding me? And you picked me ? You must be off your frickin' rocker Spence." To say I was angry would be wrong. I was stupefied. With a hint of anger and compassion for this poor girl who I hadn't even met yet. Why Spencer would want me anywhere near her was beyond me.

"Oh Fuck." The seriousness of the situation scared the shit out of me. I threw my head back against the wall and shut my eyes.

I suddenly felt warm hands holding mine. I opened my eyes to see Spencer kneeling in front of me. My hands in hers.

"Remember when I told you that this would be tough?" I nodded. " I told you I knew you could handle it. And I know you can. That girl in there. Alyssa. She may just need someone to talk to. Someone to listen. She may just want someone to sit and watch T.V. with her. Whatever she wants Ashley, I know you are the right person for her right now. I believe in you. You just need to believe in yourself. Just go in there and be you."

"What if I say the wrong thing?" I don't want to say the wrong thing.

"Well. It certainly wouldn't be the first time." She laughs but stops when she sees that I am not laughing.

"Ashley. You're thinking too much. Be yourself. Who knows? Maybe you'll say the right thing."

She finally let go of my hands. She patted me on the knee and stood up.

"Room 213. Two doors down from here." She points in the right direction.

"I can do this." I say mostly to myself.

"I know you can." Spencer smiles and then turns in the other direction and walks off.

When I get to room I was surprised. It looked more like a bedroom, not a hospital room. I am guessing she has been here for a while. I finally look over towards the bed and there she sat. She was super thin. She had short brown hair that just reached her shoulders. She was wearing gray sweat pants and a black Metallica shirt. Hmm. I like this girl already. She was bobbing her head to the music that was flowing from her I-Pod to the headphones she had on. Her eyes were closed. She looked peaceful. Music will do that for you. I know it does that for me.

I finally walked fully into the room. Her eyes shot open and she jumped.

"Geez Louise. You scared me." She had her hand over her heart and I prayed to God that she didn't have some heart disease.

She pulled her headphones off and put them around her neck.

"Sorry. Hi, I. I'm Ashley." I stuck my hand out towards her.

"Alyssa." She reached for my hand. I noticed the tubes sticking out of the top of her hand. I squeezed her hand gently.

"Whatcha listening to?" I pointed to the I-Pod.

"Paramore." She turned it off , pulled off her headphones and set them on the table next to the bed.

"Great band. Saw them Live twice now."

She frowned. "Wow. That must have been awesome."

"It was." It really was.

"Hmmm." Is all she said.

She motioned for me to sit down. So I did. We talked about music for a long time. We had a lot of the same interests. She very much like me liked all types of music. From Ella Fitzgerald to Eminem. From Adele to ACDC. From Lynyrd Skynrd to Linkin Park. And she loved to play the guitar. She pointed to the corner and told me to grab the guitar sitting there. It was a Gibson J-200 custom guitar. And what a beauty it was. I held it in my arms and immediately felt at peace. I had one just like it at home.

"Play me something." She said.

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Anything." I must have had that stumped look on my face because she laughed and shook her head.

"Okay. Do you know Hallelujah?" She bailed me out. I didn't want to upset her by playing something she didn't know.

"Of course. Great choice." I was so happy she picked one I knew. I wanted so badly to make her happy.

I tuned the guitar, cleared my throat and started the first chorus.

_Well I heard there was a secret chord_

_That David played and it pleased the Lord_

_But you don't really care for music do you_

_Well it goes like this the fourth the fifth_

_The minor fall and the major lift _

_The baffled King composing Hallelujah_

_Halle-lu__-__jah, Halle-luj__-__ah, Halle-lu__-__jah, Halle-lu-ooh ooh ooh-ujah._

This song was one of my favorites. I think I might have sang the entire song with my eyes closed. My fingers strummed the guitar and my voice filled up the entire room. I was in my own little world.

When I finished the song. Alyssa clapped. The smile on her face was one that I would never forget. I heard more clapping behind me. A couple nurses and an orderly. Next to them Spencer. But Spencer wasn't clapping. She was crying. We locked eyes and suddenly I could see right through them. I had touched her. In ways I had never touched a woman before. I touched her heart. I didn't need to be a mind reader. I could see it in her eyes.

"That was amazing Ashley." Alyssa interrupted the non-verbal conversation between me and Spencer.

"Thank you. I am so happy you enjoyed it." I really was.

"Enjoyed it. I loved it. Damn girl. You rock."

"Thanks. Here" I hand her the guitar.

"You play something." I encourage her.

"Can't" She said looking down at her hands.

"These fingers don't work as good these days."

Wow. That sucks. I wonder if it has something to do with her illness.

"My muscles and joints are real weak." Well this girl sure doesn't have any trouble reading minds.

I know my expression is one of mostly sadness. I try not to frown but can't help it so I put my head down.

"Hey. It's okay. Let's not talk about me and my illness. K?" I can understand why she wouldn't want to.

"Okay."

We talked about music again. I told her about singing up on stage and the contract offers. I didn't want to but she forced it. I felt bad talking about my future knowing that she wouldn't have one. She showed no signs of self- pity , sadness or even jealousy. She said she wanted to come see me perform. I gave her my phone number and told her I would love it if she came. My time was up and surprisingly I didn't want to leave. She looked tired and the nurse came in and told me she needed her rest. I stood up.

"Hey Ashley? Do you uh. Do you think you could come back sometime?" She asked nervously.

I smiled. "Yeah. I definitely could. I would love to. You have my number. Just call and I will try my best." Alyssa and I had a lot in common and talking to her about music was rather enjoyable. As much as I didn't want to spend more time with her and get close to her. I couldn't say no. It would be selfish if I did. If me coming back is something she needed. I would do it, for her.

"Cool. Okay see ya." She waved.

"See ya later Alyssa." I waved back and walked out the door.

Spencer was right. I could handle it. She believed in me. And now I believe that I was the right person for Alyssa. Spencer is so smart. And there she is. She is standing at the nurses' station talking to one of the nurses. I briefly think about Alyssa. I think about how short life can be. The unexpected could happen any moment.

"Hey Ashley." She's not crying anymore but you can tell that she was. Her eyes are pink.

"Where is everyone?"

"Waiting downstairs for us. You were supposed to be done 15 minutes ago. Everything went well, huh?"

"Yeah. Everything went great. You were right. About …everything." We smile at each other.

We enter the elevator. It's just the two of us. I turn so that I am facing her.

"Spencer. I need to do something. And you're probably going to be pissed at me but I don't care. I have to do it. Life is short and if I don't do this now I may never get the chance." I move closer to her. She backs away. Right into the wall.

"Ashley. Don't please." She begged. But in her eyes I don't see the fear anymore as much as I see... passion. I see need. I see her blue eyes darken.

I have her pinned against the wall. Both my hands against the wall on each side of her. My right hand leaves the wall to caress her face.

"Ashley."

"Shhhh." I put a finger across her lips. I then move my thumb and trace her perfect red lips.

I lean in, my heart feels like someone is using drum sticks on it. I am inches from her face. She doesn't move or push me away so I lean in the rest of the way and press my lips against hers ever so softly. And just like that. Explosion. I couldn't suppress the moan that escaped my throat. Her lips felt so damn good and the taste..indescribable. I took her bottom lip in between mine and she grabbed my hips and pulled me into her. I'm pretty sure she moaned this time. And as quickly as she pulled me into her she pushed me off of her. I stumbled backwards nearly falling.

Ding!

The door opened at the 2nd floor allowing a few people in. I leaned up against the wall opposite of Spencer. She was staring at me. A look of..oh I don't fucking know. I never can read that woman.

We finally made it to the main floor. We were making our way towards the lobby .

"Never again Ashley. Never do that again." She was pissed. She was talking to me and not even looking at me. She just kept on walking.

"I'm sorry Spencer. But that wasn't all me. I initiated it but you reciprocated." She definitely kissed me back.

She abruptly stopped and turned towards me.

"Whatever happened up there will NOT happen again. Understand?" She spat nearly at a whisper. Her pointing finger close to my face. "God Ashley. Why did you have to do that?" Her voice cracked this time. She turned around and walked into the bathroom that was just ahead of us.

"Yeah. I understand." I say to myself. I knew I shouldn't have kissed her. I knew she would be mad. I said she would be mad. And clearly she was. But I had to do it. She could be mad at me all she wanted. I know she enjoyed it as much as I did. That kiss, even though short. Ignited something in me. Something I couldn't even begin to describe. I had never felt anything like it before. And it left me wanting more. But I had crossed a line today. A very important line. But it was worth it.

She was still in the bathroom. I waited patiently for her. Hoping she would except my apology. I wasn't sorry for kissing her. No not a fucking chance of that. I was sorry that I upset her.

I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to see if she was okay. I opened the bathroom door and walked in. She was standing at the sink. Wiping the tears from her face.

Fuck! I really screwed up this time.

**Hope you enjoyed. Comment please :)**

**Hallelujah- Written by Leonard Cohen. Performed by several artist. Check out Kate Voegele's version. Angelic.**


	14. Chapter 14 Me and my broken heart

**Hey guys. This was originally the ending of chapter 13. I thought the chapter was too long so I cut it into two.**

**Thank you for the reviews. I love hearing your thoughts and suggestions. And I do take them into consideration.**

**alana0906- Lol. The chapter actually was longer. Here is the rest of it.**

**lolo06- You will get your answer about Spencer below. You wanted another chapter. Your wish is my command.:)**

**tbplrbear1- Hallelujah is such a beautiful song. I've always loved it. Ashley's time with Alyssa is such an important part of my story. Yes,Ash took a chance and it backfired but I do promise good things ahead.**

**dazedlvr07- Ashley is letting her walls down but Spencer not so much. Not yet anyway :)**

**momo0424- Exactly. Life is short. Take chances. Even if they backfire..badly. She did tell Spencer she wouldn't be happy. Glad you enjoyed the chapter.**

**noodles307- Sorry I disappointed with the first kiss. The whole interaction with Alyssa prompted it. And you will get your wish with Ashley. She will finally backoff. Glad you enjoyed to the the Alyssa/Ashley part. :)**

**itswhatever- Thank you so much. I didn't want this story to be anything like the other Teacher/Student stories. Glad you are enjoying.**

**Here ya go. Hope you all enjoy.**

_I own nothing but my imagination._

"Spence?" I move cautiously towards her.

"Don't Ashley. Stay where you are." She puts her hand out signaling for me to stop.

"I'm sorry I upset you." I dropped my head slightly.

She laughed through her tears. "You're sorry? Don't say things you don't mean Ashley."

"I'm sorry that I upset you. I am not sorry that I kissed you."

"You kissing me is why I am upset. You can't be sorry about one and not the other." She sighed. "Can you just go? I'll be out in a minute."

"Can I ask you something first?"

"What Ashley?" She was clearly annoyed with me.

"If I weren't your student. If I were older. Would you be so upset right now?"

"Yes I would." She said calmly and without hesitation.

"Why? There's something between us. Don't try to pretend there isn't." She started shaking her head. "I know we can't be together Spence. But I thought I knew the reasons." I was so confused.

"Ashley. You just don't get it. Nobody has made me blush the way you do since my husband. Nobody has made my heart race the way you do since my husband. Nobody has looked at me the way you do since my husband. Nobody has touched my heart this way since my husband. I have not let anyone kiss me except you since my husband. So I won't sit here and deny that there is nothing between us. But I can't let this go on Ashley. I won't let this go on. Even if you weren't my student. Even if you were my age. Do you know why Ashley? Because it still hurts .The pain in my heart is still there. I loved my husband Ashley. I still do. I'm not ready to let someone in. I can't. And even if I was ready. It wouldn't be with my 17 year old student who has a crush on me and oh yeah, just so happens to be a girl."

Wow. I had to replay her words in my head. I had no idea what to say. Right or wrong. I was at a loss for words.

"I don't even know how to respond to that." Tears were starting to form behind my eyes.

"You don't have to. Just go."

"Spencer. This isn't just a crush. You have to know that." Don't you dare come out tears.

"Doesn't matter what it is. Forget about it. Forget about me. Let me go." She walked passed me and towards the door. I grabbed her arm on instinct.

"I couldn't forget you if I wanted to and I don't want to let you go. But…. I will." I could feel my eyes well up with those damn tears.

"You have to Ashley. If you care about me at all. Walk away…right now." A lone tear trickled down her cheek about the same time as mine. I let go of her arm and reached up to wipe it away. In that moment I knew without a doubt that I was in fact in love with her. I dropped my hand from her warm , tear soaked cheek and walked out the door.

I walked straight through the lobby and right out the front door. I got in my car and drove. I drove for over an hour. Nowhere in particular. I just drove.

I was in love for the first time in my life. I cared about Spencer more than myself . I would do anything for her. So here I was with my heart breaking. Because of course Ashley Davies 'Royal Fuck Up" has to fall in love with someone she can't have.

I ended up in Malibu so I stopped by our summer home. It was a spacious glass house right off the ocean. I went in the house briefly for a bottle of water then walked down to the beach. I removed my shoes and socks and rolled up my pants. I walked up and down the beach for over an hour. Just thinking.

When I got back to the house I grabbed a notebook and a pen and went back to the beach. I sat down in the sand and I wrote. I wrote about love. I wrote about heartache. I wrote about Spencer. I wrote 4 songs. It's amazing how inspiring getting your heart broken can be. I had the lyrics. Now I just needed the music. Then I could record a new album and name it. "My life fucking sucks."

I decided to stay for the night. Didn't want to go back to my mother's big, empty, lonely house. It was peaceful here. The sound of the waves rolling over always had a way of calming me.

My phone was still in my purse on silent. I dreaded looking at the messages I knew would be there. I just left. Miranda was probably worried.

I had a couple missed calls from Miranda. Three from Casey and one from Chelsea. Two voicemail messages and a text message.

Voicemail- Miranda.. _Ashley where are you? Please call me. I need to know that you're okay. Spencer said you two got into an argument. Just call me back okay._

Voicemail- Casey.. _I know you're probably still pissed at me. I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say what I said. You were right. I am your best friend. I should always be on your side. I am so sorry Ash. You can keep ignoring my calls but I won't give up. Okay? I love you Ashley._

Text message- Chelsea.. _Hey girl. Call me later if you want to hang out. I am so bored I am watching my paint dry. LOL. CALL ME __J_

I knew Miranda would be worried. We just started this friendship and I was already fucking up. Casey could kiss my ass I wasn't forgiving her that easy. I'll let her sweat a little longer. Chelsea actually made me smile…thank you Chelsea. I needed that.

I texted Chelsea back and told her I was busy but would hang out with her tomorrow if she wasn't busy. _Okay cool_. She responded.

I didn't bother to call Casey back. I already had enough drama today.

I dialed Miranda's number and she picked up right away.

"_Hey, sorry I just left like that. I was upset." _And I didn't want you to see me crying.

"_It's okay. I was just worried. What happened?"_ She didn't know?

"_Spencer didn't say anything?"_

"_No. Just that you two had a disagreement." _A disagreement huh?

"_I would actually rather talk to you about it in person. So can it wait until tomorrow or Monday?"_

"_Yeah Ash. It's no problem. I understand. Are you okay?"_ Nope.

"_Not really. But I will be."_

"_Ash tell me where you are and I will come to you. You shouldn't be alone." _She's such a good friend.

"_I'm used to being alone. I'll be alright."_ Story of my life.

"_Used to it or not. You shouldn't have to be and you don't have to be. Where are you?"_

"_Malibu"_

"_You're in Malibu?"_

"_Yeah. Spur of the moment thing ya know. But really..I'll be fine. Don't worry."_

"_I always worry. I'm a compulsive worrier. It's what I do." _She laughed.

"_Well how about tonight you worry about the math test you have on Monday? I-WILL-BE-FINE. Promise."_

"_Okay. You had me at 'math test'. But call me okay. If you need anything. Anything."_

"_I will. Now go study."_

"_K. Bye."_

While I laid in bed I thought about what I was going to do. I had to forget about Spencer. I actually considered skipping first period for the rest of the year but I was pretty sure that would make her even more upset with me. I had no fucking clue what I was going to do. I didn't want to forget about Spencer. Even though I was completely miserable being in love with her I didn't want to not be in love with her. Loving her made me feel alive. It awakened something inside me that I didn't even know was there. How am I supposed to ignore that? How am I supposed to walk away from something when all I want to do is run full speed towards it? But what I want doesn't matter. Spencer was hurting. I was hurting her. She has feelings for me but is still in love with her husband. The last thing I want to do is make her cry. So I have no choice. I am going to have to tough it out. Act like I don't love her. Act like she doesn't mean the world to me. Act like I will be okay. I have to do that for her. Only one problem. I am a shitty actress.

**Sorry it was short. Review please :)**


	15. Chapter 15 Numb

**Thank you all for the reviews yet again. Makes me want to update quickly and often. So keep it up. :)**

**I want to apologize for the first couple chapters. I just re-read them for the first time today and realized all of the mistakes I made. I have been trying to do a better job of proof reading before I publish. Sorry.**

**Acurcuru- You are correct.**

**tbplrbear1- Alyssa will indeed be back.**

**noodles307- You're welcome. I enjoy your reviews. So I don't mind responding to them at all. Ashley is defintely going to need her friends. I think you are right about Spencer. She will miss flirty Ashley.**

**LoLo06- Of course. It is a Spashley story afterall. No worries :)**

**ashleyss27- Lol. Thanks.**

**Momo0424- Yes, they are both hurting and Ash definetley needs to step back a little. Miranda is becoming the kind of friend that Ashley needs in her life. Sorry it was sad. This one is a tad longer.**

**FFReviews- Thank you. I thought about the whole custody thing but quickly dismissed it. I wanted to add a little drama in the mix. And you are so right. Who in their right mind could deny Ashley? Lol.**

**naranga87- Thanks. I do plan to finish this out. I will update as quickly as I can as long as life doesn't get in the way. I only have a couple hours to myself each day and have been writing for those 2 hours. Lol. It's addicting. **

**Thanks again Guys. This one is a little longer. Hope you enjoy.**

_I own nothing_.

I spent my Sunday morning driving home. I spent my Sunday afternoon doing homework. Yep. Don't laugh. I'm a new Me. Remember? When I finally finished it was six o'clock. I gave Chelsea and Miranda a call and asked them to come hang out. They both arrived around seven. We ordered pizza and decided to watch a movie. "NO LOVE STORIES" I was quite adamant about that. Chelsea didn't seem phased by my outburst. Miranda looked suspicious. She knew something.

Around ten o'clock Chelsea left. She had a curfew. I didn't know what that word meant. Miranda didn't have a curfew either. She just had to call Spence and tell her where she was and when she would be home. "I barely ever go out Ash. Why would I need one?" She said when I was surprised that she didn't have a curfew. Spencer seemed kind of strict. Maybe that was just with me.

She went out to the hallway to call Spencer. I found that a little weird. I could still hear a few words here and there. Nosey me moved closer to the door. "She shouldn't have to be alone all of the time…. I know I am good to her…Well she is an amazing person so I am happy to be here for her." I think I may cry…again. These Dennison women are breaking my fucking heart. I heard her say goodbye so I quickly walked over to my T.V. and put another D.V.D. in. She walked in and smiled. I went back to the bed and sat down.

"Ready for another?" I pointed towards the T.V. and grabbed my bowl of popcorn.

"Sure. But I want to change first. I need p.j.'s."

"Bottom drawer. Take whatever you need. I never wear them."

"Oh God. Please don't tell me that you are one of those people who sleep naked?" She looked mortified.

"Uh. Was I naked when you slept over Friday night?"

"No. But I was here. I would hope you wouldn't sleep naked while I'm here."

"Relax ya spaz. I don't sleep naked…all of the time." I wiggled the brows.

"Yeah probably because most of the time there is someone in bed with you and you just finished with activities you don't need clothes for." Huh?

"It's called sex Miranda and they never stay the night." Ugh. "Ev-ver"

"Ooo-kay. I think I am going to go change now. You should too. Into pajamas that is. No Nude Ashley when I get back. K?" Darn.

"You'd be one of the only girls I have brought back to my room that didn't want to see 'Nude Ashley'." It's true.

"Ash. I know you're a Homerun hitter but I don't play for your team so that doesn't really appeal to me." Again..Huh? Where does she get this stuff?

"Whatever weirdo. Go change." We both laughed.

She came out of the bathroom dressed in my cow pajamas. How cute. I was under the covers and she eyed me suspiciously.

"Oh my God. I have clothes on. Get over here." I was wearing gray sweat pants and a white tank. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

She got into the bed and pulled the covers up.

"I changed my mind Ash. I don't want to watch another movie." She turned to face me. Her eyes were serious.

"You wanna go to sleep?" I know she doesn't want to go to sleep.

"No. I want you to talk to me about Spencer." Uh oh.

"What about Spencer?" I played dumb. Obviously I was good at it.

"What happened with you two yesterday?"

I played with my fingers. I did that when I was nervous. I couldn't tell her what happened. But I didn't want to lie to her either.

"What do you already know?"

"Well I know that you have a crush on her. I know that after your 'disagreement' you left without saying goodbye. I know that after your 'disagreement' she came out of the bathroom with red puffy eyes. I know that when I called you last night you seemed troubled. I know that Spencer is sad again. What is going on Ashley? The truth and if you can't give me that, at least give me something to ease my mind." She was worried about the both of us.

I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I couldn't tell her everything. But I had to tell her something.

"Ash?" I look over at her. "You can trust me." I know I can.

"I know. It's just.. I don't want you to be mad at me. I kinda like having you around." I look down at my fingers.

"And I like being around you. That's not going to change." I believe her.

"Talk to me" she begged.

I sighed. "I told her I liked her and I kissed her. She pushed me away and told me it was never going to happen." I was waiting for the yelling, the disappointed glare. All I got was….

"You kissed her?" Her face full of shock.

"Yes. And she was furious with me." And upset and hurt.

"Uh yeah. What were you thinking?" She's still got on that shocked look.

"Um. That I wanted to kiss her." It's all I ever thought about.

"You had to know she wouldn't be happy. Why were you so upset that you just left?" Because my heart broke in two but I can't tell you that.

"I don't know. I guess it was a mixture of hanging out with a girl that wouldn't make it to her 18th birthday and then getting rejected." It's partly true.

"Not used to getting rejected huh?" She laughed.

I shrugged and slugged her arm playfully.

We chatted some more. Mostly about Alyssa. She had heard that I played for her and that Alyssa enjoyed her time with me. She told me she was proud of me. It felt good hearing that. She told me about the patient she had. A 14 year old boy who didn't say one word to her. She just sat there and watched him play video games. He's lucky I wasn't in there. I would have snatched the controller from him. What? Okay maybe I wouldn't have. Let's not find out. We talked about Spencer. I told her it was just a crush and that I would get over it in no time at all. I hated lying to her.

I think we fell asleep a little after midnight. I wasn't sure. I wasn't sure of anything once again when I woke up** not** in My Bed. At least I wasn't on the floor again. I was on my couch this time. I don't remember how I got there. Miranda was sprawled out on my Queen sized bed. Somehow she had a body part over nearly every inch of it. I don't know how I forgot about her bad sleeping habits. My back sure hasn't.

Monday morning was hard. I put my mask on and walked into the classroom. She was sitting at her desk talking to a student. I didn't look in her direction when I passed her. I walked straight to my seat, sat down and pulled out my notebook and a pen. Madi waved and smiled. "Hey Ash". She was texting someone.

When Spencer started addressing the class I couldn't even look up at her. I just stared down at my notebook and doodled. Even when she walked the aisles while she lectured I didn't look at her. She walked by me and her delicious scent infiltrated my air. This was going to be so fucking hard. She smelled so damn good.

My mind immediately went back to that elevator, her lips, that kiss, her body briefly against mine, her rejection, her fear, her confession, her tears, my tears, my surrender, my pain, my broken, beaten and bloodied heart. I may have overexaggerated with the heart thing.

It was all too much to bear. But I managed. Somehow. When the bell rang I stood up and walked out with everyone. Not once looking her direction. I couldn't take the chance of getting caught up in her beautiful blue eyes.

It was a long, excruciatingly painful week. No Spencer. No Casey (I know how disappointed you are to hear that). No performance at Pure (once again).

The one good thing I had to look forward to was my birthday next weekend.

Finally I would be 18 and I could move out and away from my mother.

It was Friday night and I had just gotten home from the movies with Miranda and Chelsea. I was on my way home when my phone rang.

Casey. She hadn't called in 2 days. I had told her on Wednesday at school that I didn't want to talk to her. When I was ready I would call her. Ugh. I was still mad at her but it was Casey. We had been through so much the last couple years. She had forgiven me more times that I could count.

"Hey Casey." I missed her.

"Ash oh thank God. I can't take this anymore. I know I am scum of the earth and am a shitty friend. Please can you just forgive me. I miss you so much." She was crying.

"Calm down Case. You are not scum and you're not a shitty friend either. You have been there for me time and time again and have forgiven me for a lot of the bad shit I did. I forgive you for what you said. Please just understand that I am trying to change myself for the better. I'm trying to be the person you always wanted me to be and I kinda need you by my side."

"And that is right where I want to be Ash. Right by your side. Right where I should be. Can we please forget the stupid stuff I said and start fresh?" She begged.

"Of course" I couldn't deny her a second chance . She had given me a second chance and a third and I do believe even a fourth.

_2 Years Ago_

_We had been a couple for 2 months. Finally both out of the closet thanks to Carmen_. _We were lying in_ _my bed making out like usual._

"_Case? Are you ready yet?" I stop kissing her neck and look into her eyes. She's not ready..I can tell._

"_Ash. I just want to wait. I want it to be special."_

"_It will be special. It's you and it's me and we care about each other. We can go to the beach house. Stay the night even. There will be no rush." _

_She sat up and looked away from me. _

"_Case? Look at me." She looks at me with tears in her eyes._

"_I'm not ready Ash. I know you are and I am sorry. If you just want to end this I understand." What?_

"_I don't want to end this Case." I yell._

"_I don't want to end this either Ash. But I know you. You want what you want__,__ when you want it and I can't give that to you right now." She yelled back._

"_You're right but I care about you a lot Case and I will wait. For you I will wait." I pulled her into an embrace and held her tight. I couldn't lose her. She was all I had._

"_C'mon. Let's go to sleep." She laid down facing me and I pulled her into me and held her. We both fell asleep quickly. _

_Two weeks later and I was growing even more sexually frustrated. I had just started performing at Pure. I just had my 16th birthday. Guys and girls were hitting on me all of the time. No doubt they thought I was older. I know some that didn't even care. I hated that I was pressuring Casey. She was still a virgin but I was not. She was still innocent. I was far from it._

_It was Thursday night and I was on my way to the club. I had just gotten into an argument with my mother. My dad was coming home for the weekend and he was going to take me camping. He was going to spend time with me. That pissed her off. It was the first time she told me that she wished I was never born. I called and told Casey about the fight. I told her I needed her. I told her to meet me at Pure. She never showed up. She wouldn't answer her phone. I was hurt. I thought she had ditched me. I did something stupid…  
><em>

"_Hey Ashley, great show." Wow. Uh hello. _

"_Thanks." I tried not to stare at her but it was hard. She was fucking hot._

"_Can I get you a drink?" asks the tall, gorgeous blonde._

"_Yeah sure." I follow her to the bar._

"_I'll have an Apple Martini" she tells the bartender "and whatever she wants" she looks over at me with a sexy grin._

"_Actually I will just start with a water. Throat hurts from singing ya know." Hopefully she bought that. _

_We walk over to the corner booth for some privacy. I slide into the backside of the booth and she slides in right next to me. _

"_So you're not 21 yet huh?" She asks me and then smiles._

"_No. I'm not." I look at her with the sexy eyes. "Does it matter?" I ask her as I rub her leg slowly. I take a sip of my water. _

_She takes the glass out of my hand, sets it down and attacks my lips. Her lips and hands are all over me. I feel her shove her tongue in my mouth. It's sloppy but I was so turned on I didn't care. Her hand is on my stomach almost tickling me. She starts sucking on my tongue and I grab ahold of her hair and pull her further into me. Then suddenly I throw my head back and moan. Her hand is in my pants. Right where I wanted her from the beginning. She thrust herself inside of me. Wow. This girls waste no time. I don't care. It's exactly what I wanted. She pulls my head back to her and kisses me hard. She's moving in and out of me and it feels so damn good. I open my eyes. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! _

_I push the girl off of me and run after Casey. She runs right out of the club and to her car. I have to stop before I get to her to button my pants back up. When I finally get to her she is fumbling with her keys and crying. _

"_Case. I'm sorry." I don't know what else to say._

_She doesn't say anything she just continues struggling to get her door open._

"_Casey?" Nothing._

_I take a few more steps forward her and put my arms around her. She puts her head in her hands and starts sobbing._

"_I'm so sorry. I'm such a fucking idiot." I am._

_She wiggles and fights to get out of my grip. Then turns around. Her face is red and her eyes are sad. Tears are falling fast and uncontrollably. _

"_How could you? How fucking could you Ashley?" She yelled. Her voice cracked. _

"_I, I thought you ditched me. You didn't show up and you weren't answering your phone. I just thought.." Pathetic. I know._

"_You thought I ditched you? What a fucking surprise. My mom grounded me Ashley. She took away my phone. I snuck out and got here as fast as I could. But of course you automatically think the worst. I'm not your mother Ashley and I am not your dad either. I am me. And I loved you." Did she just say 'loved' as in past tense?_

"_I would never 'Ditch' you. I would never lie to you. I would never hurt you. But obviously you can't say the same." She started playing with her keys again._

"_Casey." I take a step towards her and she backs up._

"_Don't come any closer. I mean it Ashley. Stay the fuck away from me." She turned around and finally opened her car door._

_She was halfway into her car when she looked over at me._

"_Hope that you finally got what you wanted from that girl. Hope the two minutes her fingers were inside of you were worth the time that you lost being with someone who actually cares about you." She wiped her tears with the back of her hands, got into her car and was about to shut the door."_

_I grabbed the door before she could shut it._

"_Please Case. Don't do this. I'm sorry. I was an idiot. Forgive me." I was kneeling between her and the door._

_She reached up and caressed my face. She smiled through her tears but the smile turned into a frown and she dropped her hand that was so warm on my face._

"_Fuck you Ashley." She said so cold but yet so sad. "Get out of my door and out of my life. I can't even look at you right now."_

_I stood up and moved out of the way so she could shut the door. She started the engine and drove away and out of my life. _

Of course she wasn't gone for long. I never gave up. I left her alone for a couple weeks like she asked the first time I showed up at her door begging for forgiveness. After two weeks I was on a mission. I wanted her in my life. Scratch that. I needed her in my life. She was my best friend and the only one who truly gave a shit about me. I apologized every day. With flowers , with words, with songs, with teddy bears. At this point I only wanted her friendship back. And that was all she was willing to give me. At first that is. We agreed to be just friends. But just friends turned into friends who sometimes kissed which turned into friends who made out a lot which turned into friends with major benefits. If you know what I mean. Yes Casey finally gave in. When she was ready that is. And don't worry. I made it very memorable. Cue eye brow wiggle and wink.

I left the club and headed over to Casey's to pick her up. Spike came home with me too. I missed him as well and I didn't think my mom would be home for a while. When we got back to my place we did some snacking, listened to some music and then we decided to go for a swim. Seeing Casey in a bathing suit still did things to my body but I ignored them. All we were ever going to be was friends and I finally accepted that and was perfectly happy with that.

We were playing around and wrestling. She was trying to dunk me and I put her in a head lock. She twisted herself around in the head lock and her face was inches from mine.

"Well this brings back some memories huh?" Her eyes were full of something I faintly remembered. Uh oh.

"Yeah. It does." I swallowed hard and let go of her.

She stood up and moved closer towards me. It was quiet. Just the sound of night and the pool filter.

She moved closer.

"Case." I shook my head.

"Shut up Ashley. Isn't this what you've always wanted?" Want-ed. Yes.

"I can't Casey. Not now. Not…ever again." I backed up. She looked hurt. Great. Not again. I couldn't stand to see that look of rejection in her eyes. And I know that look so well. I wore it not too long ago.

"I don't get it. I don't get you. I know that we have always had something more than friendship. The sex wasn't just sex. I know it wasn't." She was hurt and confused and looking for answers.

"Of course the sex wasn't just sex Case. I care about you. But all we can be is friends. That is all I want from you right now." I can't believe I just said that and neither can she.

"Who are you?" She questioned seriously and I laughed.

"I'm the new Ashley. No more flirting, fucking and bolting." I give her a fake smile.

"You're still mad at me. That's what this is about. You're punishing me? Great Ashley. Just fucking great." She starts moving towards the steps.

"No Case. I'm not punishing you." I follow her out of the pool. We both grab towels and dry off.

"I'm not mad Casey. I promise. It's just I. I don't want to be with you like that. I just want my friend back. My **best friend**." I grab her hand.

"This is about that girl right? The girl you were obsessing about. The one that Madi was warning you to stay away from. Who is she? Do you like her?" She was begging for answers that I couldn't give her.

"No. This isn't about her. She was just a girl that I had a crush on. Nothing more. I don't even talk to her anymore." The last part was sadly true. "This is about me. This is about me trying to be a better person." I say this to her with my hand on my heart. She needs to know I mean what I am saying.

"So by not being with me that makes you a better person?" Her voice cracks. Shit. She is going to start crying.

"Well.. kind of. I do love you Casey. But I'm not in love with you. And the next time I am with someone I want it to be about love. For the first time in my life I am thinking with my head and my heart and not letting my hormones control me. I want you in my life….as my best friend."

She is full on crying now. I try to hug her but she pushes me away. I stumble and nearly fall into the pool.

"For the first time in your life you are thinking with your head and your heart? Well I must be a fucking idiot because I always assumed that deep down your heart was with me. Wow. I'm so stupid." I try to reach out to her but she slaps my hand.

"Don't you get it Ashley? I love you. I am in love with you. I always have been. And all of this time I thought that you felt the same. I just thought that you didn't know it. I waited and waited for you to realize it. I guess that is why it has taken so long. Because it was never actually there. Fuck! How could I have been so wrong?" She sits down on the patio lounger and puts her head in her hands.

I sit down next to her and run my hands through her hair.

"I'm sorry Casey. I don't know what else to say. I know I don't want to lose you."

She stands up abruptly.

"There's nothing you **can** say. Nothing you can say that will make this pain go away. Nothing you can say that will make me not love you." She won't even look at me. She just looks towards the door to the kitchen and then starts walking towards it.

"Case?" I **am** losing her. And there is **nothing** I can do or say.

She stops but doesn't look back.

"I need time Ash. Give me time." She walks into the kitchen and out of my life. Again.

I am still sitting on the patio lounger. I can't move. The only thing moving is the tears. They flow heavily and steady. I feel sick. I feel angry. I feel my pain. I feel Casey's pain. I know what she is going through right now. Too love someone and not be able to give that love and have it returned sucks. It hurts so fucking bad.

_I don't know how much more I can take. _

_Before I crack._

_Before I fully break._

My mother.

My father.

Spencer.

Casey.

The pain suddenly stopped. I felt numb. I felt nothing. I was staring down at the bottom of an empty bottle of vodka. My mother sure wouldn't be happy when she realized I found her little stash of the "good stuff" in her closet. Now I understood why she called it that. I wandered back downstairs. Through the dark and empty house and into the kitchen. I set the empty bottle on the counter. I look around. I looked down at Spike who had his head tilted probably wondering what the fuck I am doing. Hell. I don't even fucking know. I am passed wasted. I don't know why I am in the kitchen or how I even got here. I hop up onto the island and lay down. I stare up at the arched ceiling. Off in an unknown world. I fall asleep there.

When I wake up. I am confused, nauseous and have a killer headache. Why am I on the islander? Why do I feel like shit? Why is there an empty bottle of vodka on the counter? I do believe question three just answered the first two questions.

I sit up and slide off the island. Fuck my head hurts. I then feel the nausea. I run to the hallway bathroom. The toilet and I had become quite acquainted. After popping some aspirin and brushing my teeth I jump in the shower.

The water is refreshing. It feels good on my tired and sore body. I start thinking about last night. And it all hits me. I remember what happened. I remember everything. I slump to the floor of the shower and cry. Last night I lost someone who actually gave a shit about me. Someone who loved me the way I wanted so desperately to be loved. I couldn't do anything about it. I lost her and it was out of my hands.

My life truly sucks.

I love someone who doesn't love me and someone loves me but I don't them. Finally love in my life and of course I am still miserable. But right now that isn't even the worst part.

Last night I turned into my mother. I didn't want to feel the pain. I didn't want to feel the heart ache. I didn't want to think of Spencer. I didn't want to think of Casey. I took that bottle and with every single sip I erased it all.

I get out of the shower and put some clothes on. I find myself in the kitchen again.

I am staring at the empty bottle. I am staring at the empty bottle wishing it were full. What the fuck!

I head back to the stair well. My mother's closet is calling me.

Don't do it Ashley. Fuck!

It feels so good to just forget. It feels so good to feel no pain.

I start walking up the steps. I get closer and closer to the top. I stop.

Don't do it Ashley. Shut the fuck up conscious.

I take another step. One more, two more.

Ding Ding Ding. The doorbell chimes.

I look towards my mother's room again.

Ding Ding Ding. Fucking doorbell.

I turn around and walk back downstairs.

I flung the door open.

Miranda.

Thank you God.

**Hope you enjoyed. Even you Casey haters out there. Lol. More Spashley in the next chapter. Promise:)**


	16. Chapter 16 Goob

**Thanks again for the reviews guys. Reviews = Smiles and quicker updates.**

**Purpleniya- You're right. Ashley needs a break. A happy spell is coming.**

**Momo0424- Yeah Miranda should become a therapist. **

**CoolGay- Welcome to Batista :)**

**noodles307- Lol. Sorry. I knew some people would change their minds about all know why she acted that way now. Glad you are happy with the pace. I know some aren't. I do know the drill :) Here is the next chapter.**

**Dakadakara- Thanks. And I changed the rating :)**

**naranga87- Since you were so patient and understanding...here ya go :)**

_I own nothing but my imagination_.

"Miranda, what are you doing here?" I was thankful she was here. She pushed through me into the house.

"I knew you would forget Ash. It's Saturday. Volun-told day. Remember?"

"Oh right. I completely forgot." Shit!

"Well go get dressed. You can't wear that. We're working outside today. Helping build a house. Yay!" She clapped her hands excitingly.

"Would you like to come pick out my clothes so that I know what is appropriate and what is not?" I joked.

"I trust your judgement. Now get." She pushed me towards the steps.

I was halfway up the stairs.

"You okay Ash?" She asks. "You look kind of pale."

"Uh. Yeah. Fine. I'm fine." I ran up the stairs hoping she wouldn't push it further.

I put on a pair of jeans. Yes, holey ones. I don't think I own a pair without holes. And a green tank top and some brown boots. I put my hair up and put on a little makeup. I headed back downstairs and couldn't find Miranda. I look everywhere and then I hear her talking to Spike in the kitchen. I walk in and freeze. She is holding the empty bottle of vodka. Shit!

"Is this yours Ash?"

"Uh. Um." I sigh. "Yes". I can't lie. I am the only one home.

"Ashley, you don't drink. Why now? Did you drink all of this?" She worried now.

"Can we talk about this later? We have to go." I do not want to talk about this right now.

"NO. We are going to talk about this now. I will call Spencer and tell her we are going to be a little late." She pulls out her phone and starts dialing.

I look down at Spike munching on his food. She must have fed him because I forgot. I am a shitty mommy too.

She told Spencer that we are going to be late because she woke up late. She covered for me. She's too good to me. She put her phone away and walked over to me. She grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the table and sat me down. Then pulled up a chair for her right in front of me.

"What happened?"

"A lot."

"What happened Ashley?" She raised her voice.

I put my head down.

"Ashley, you can trust me. Please talk to me. I am here for you….. Let me in." She pulls my hands into hers.

I know I can trust her. I need to talk to her. I don't want to be like my mother.

"Casey was here last night. I told her I forgave her and we were just hanging out like old times." I paused and she just waited.

"She told me she was in love with me. I told her I didn't feel the same. She was hurt. She left." I didn't want to get into detail. It hurt enough just saying it.

"Wow. So she is in love with you. Didn't see that at all. You had no clue?"

"I had a feeling that she still wanted to be with me. You know…sexually. I had an idea that she had feelings for me. I didn't know they were that deep." Images of Casey crying last night kept popping in my head. They hurt more than my headache.

"So she was really hurt by you not feeling the same way. What about you?"

"I think you know the answer to that question." I look over at the bottle and she followed my eyes.

"Is that the first time you've done something like that?" I felt like I was at my shrink's office. But I knew that Miranda was asking because she cared not because she was getting paid.

"Yes. I told you I don't usually get drunk. Last night I was way passed being drunk. I couldn't feel anything. And I liked that feeling." A tear dropped from my eye onto my hand. I wiped my eyes quickly then continued.

"Lately I feel lost. I feel alone. I feel like I am suffocating. I haven't heard from my dad in months. I am worried about him. My mother is getting worse. She slapped me and she even threw her shoe at me." I laughed but it wasn't funny. Miranda looked angry.

"Spending time with Alyssa gave me hope. I may not have parents that care about me but I have great friends. I have my music. I have…. a future." The tears have started again. I am shaking. Miranda sits next to me and pulls me into her.

"What is wrong with me? Why can't I just be happy? I am trying my best to turn my life around. To be someone that my friends can depend on, be proud of, look up to. I am trying so damn hard but I take a step forward and get thrown two steps back." I lean my head on her shoulder.

"You don't have to go through this alone Ashley. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. When you start feeling like this you need to call me. Ashley, you're my best friend. I need you. If it wasn't for you I would still be hiding in my room wondering instead of doing. And you are that person to me. I know I can depend on you and I **am** proud of you. And I would look up to you but you're kinda short." She laughed. "I need you like you need me. But I can't be the friend you need if you don't let me in. All the way in…not just a few steps. Okay."

"Okay." I say. My voice was quiet and hoarse.

"No more vodka. K?" She rubs my arm.

"Yeah. No more vodka." I groan.

"Thanks Doc."

"Doc?"

"Yeah. Doc. You always make me feel better and you're kind of like a shrink. But you are so much better at helping me out then they ever were."

"That's because I actually care about you." She smiled sadly. "You didn't even need those shrinks Ash. You just needed someone you could talk to. Like a friend. You got one. And I am not going anywhere. You're stuck with me." She spits her tongue out.

"Well. You're one person I don't mind being stuck with…Doc." I spit my tongue out at her.

"C'mon. Let's go have some fun." She stands up and pulls me to my feet then starts to walk out of the kitchen. I grab her hand and pull her back to me. I hug her. I hug her with everything I have. She saved me today. I realized that as long as I had Miranda in my life I would be okay.

When we get to the construction site I notice two things. There are a lot of people here and ….Spencer. She sure stands out in a crowd. Today she is wearing jeans again. Have I mentioned how good she looks in jeans? She's also wearing a tight white t-shirt with the sleeves rolled a bit. It has big blue letters that read Habitat for Humanity. She was wearing aviator sunglasses much like my own. Standing next to her and a little too close for my liking is some slutty red head. She has her hand on Spencer's upper arm as they both laugh.

Miranda started walking towards her. I didn't. I wanted to talk to her but I didn't know what to say or how to act. This was obviously all very new to me. Well except the part where I wanted to punch the red head straight in her freckled face. That feeling wasn't new at all. Miranda looked back and shook her head at me.

"C'mon Ash. We're already late. Stop being a Goob." UGH! What the fuck is a Goob anyway?

"I'm coming. Chill." If I could just figure out how to move my legs. One step, two steps, three steps. There ya go. Slutty Red Head is leaving. Smart girl.

"Hey Spence. Sorry we're late." Miranda says as Spencer turns to look at us. She is putting on a cute little work apron. She looks so sexy in it. Sorry I'll shut up now.

"Hey Miranda" she says while trying to tie her apron. Miranda steps behind her and ties it for her. Spencer is looking at me. She looks uneasy.

"Hi Ashley". Hello heartbreaker.

"Hey Spencer". I give her a small smile and look away. Those damn eyes.

"So what do they need us to do Spencer?" Miranda says by my side again.

She looks towards the house. From the looks of it, it is nearly done. "They need someone in there to paint." I know Miranda loves to paint so I'll let her do that.

"And they're starting the garage so they will probably need some help putting up the frames and walls."

"I know how much you love to paint Miranda. Go ahead. I'll go put up some walls." I am an expert at that.

"Okay. See ya a lunch ya Goob." Ugh. She walked towards the house.

"Well I guess it's just me and you...ya Goob." Spencer says and then snickers.

"Not you too." Actually she could call me anything she wanted. I was just happy to hear her voice.

"Sorry. It's just funny that she calls you that." She says and we start to walk towards the garage.

"And why is that so funny?" I ask. I wish I knew what it meant. I feel like an idiot.

"Well you know. I wouldn't exactly consider you a nerd Ashley. Miranda's just silly like that." A NERD? That is what that stupid word means.

"Yeah..Silly." I am going to kill Miranda.

"Hey Spencer I thought you got lost." Says Greg, the tool who is in our volunteer group. He goes to UCLA and thinks he is God's gift to women. Please, I have probably had way more women than him. I have probably had more straight women then him. But seriously, it is so obvious that he has a crush on Spencer. I really can't blame the guy.

"Sorry Greg. I found another helper." She points at me and he looks over and gives me a wink. Eww. As if. Not even if I were straight Dude. I give him my disgusted look and I hear Spencer giggle. It does feel good to hear her talk and laugh. I thought it would hurt to be this close to her but it didn't. It felt great. It felt right. I could do this.

"So where do ya want me teach?" For once there is no double meaning behind my question.

Greg and this guy Rick had already put up the frames. Then they put up the walls. We just had to attach the walls to the frames. They had already attached the top of the wall to the frame we just had to do the bottom and the front. They gave Spencer, me and these two other chicks some hammers and nails. They took one side we took another. The four of us got to work. She started on one end of the wall and I started on the other. I already had 3 nails in and was a quarter of the way up the wall. I look over at Spencer after what I am sure was a mumbled "Fuck". She has her hammer spun around so she can yank the bent nail out of the wall. Poor Spence. I notice she hasn't put one nail in the wall yet and next to her on the ground is a small pile of bent nails.

I walk the short distance over to her and laugh. She looks up at me.

"Is there some trick to this?" She says embarrassed.

I laugh. "Not really. You just have to concentrate and have good aim."

"Well I must have horrible aim then. If I concentrate any harder I may put a hole through the wall." She giggles again. So cute.

"Here I'll show you." I take her hammer and a nail. I press the nail into the wood. Then aim the hammer. Four whacks of the hammer and the nail is in.

"Wow. Impressive." She says surprised.

"Helped my dad build a tree house when I was 8." I said proudly.

"Try again." I hand her back her hammer.

She presses the nail into the wood. Then takes aim. The hammer swings forward and….

"Ahhhh shit. Shit, shit, shit." That was Spencer. Let's just say the hammer didn't hit the nail.

"It's bleeding. Let me see." I feel bad.

"No. It's fine. Wow. I'm such a klutz."

Slutty Red Head girl runs over with a first aid kit. Her name is Sarah. At least that's what the sticker on her shirt says. I like my name better. She looks like she is going to try and tend to Spencer's hand. I don't think so Sar-ah.

I grab the first aid kit from her hands.

"Thanks. I got this." I give her my intimidating glare.

"Oo-kay. You okay Spence?" Don't fucking call her Spence.

"Yes. I am fine. Thanks Sarah."

Slutty Red Head Sarah finally gets the hint and leaves.

"Let me see." I reach for her hand.

"Ashley it's fine. Really."

"Just let me see your hand ya big baby." I reach for it again.

She is looking right into my eyes. I am looking back. Damn those eyes. I can't look away. But once I feel her warm hand slide into mine the trance is broken. I look down at her hand. The nail must have come out of the wall a bit when she hit it with the hammer. She had a gash on her left index finger.

"Does it hurt?" I ask her looking back into those beautiful blue eyes.

"A little. It kind of stings." Her blue eyes never left me. I could even feel her staring at me while I was looking at her hand.

"We should clean and disinfect it first. Then put some butterfly stitches on it. It should be fine."

"Okay." She finally drops her eyes from mine. Her hand that was in mine is now resting in my lap. I get the supplies ready.

"Okay." I clean the blood off of her finger with an alcohol cleansing pad and then I squeeze some antibiotic cream onto the cut. Cleaned off it doesn't look as bad. She hands me the butterfly stitches and I put 2 of them on her finger. I then wrap her finger with a thin piece of gauze and a piece of tape. I finish it off by putting a finger cot over it. Have you ever seen one of those things? They seriously look like a ..Okay let's not get into that.

"All better" I almost kissed it but didn't want to ruin the moment we were sooo having.

"Thank you." She smiled and I smile back holding her stare.

"You're welcome." You'd think we were having a staring contest.

Spencer lost. She looked away and cleared her throat.

"We should probably get back to work." She said.

"Yeah. Um, are you sure you want to do that." I said as she grabbed another nail out of the box.

"Of course. Just because I smashed my finger doesn't mean I'm just going to give up." She set the nail between her teeth and wiggles her fingers. "I do have 9 more."

I laughed. "Yeah..But we only have **1** first aid kit." I tilt my head to the side and put my hands together like I am praying. "So please be careful."

She chuckled. "Okay mom." Uh..No. Now if she wants to call me Baby I am completely fine with that.

She picks up her hammer and presses the nail into the wood. She's concentrating hard on her aim. I can only smile at the fact that she makes concentrating HOT.

She pulls the hammer back slightly and I wince.

She did it.

"I did it." She jumps up and down and claps her hands.

"You did it." I laugh. She reminded me of a kid learning how to tie his shoes or ride a bike for the first time.

I think she finally got the hang of it. After the third straight time she didn't smash a finger I finally relaxed. Although the thought of holding her hand again almost made me wish she would have. Hey..I said almost.

We almost had our side of the garage done. It was getting close to lunch. We had worked our way towards each other and were now side by side. It wasn't hot today, only about 72. But Spencer was sweating. She kept wiping her brow. I don't think she does manual labor much. I wasn't sweating at all. Then again I don't sweat a lot no matter what I do. Well except for indoor exercises if you know what I am talking about. Anyhow Spencer sweating is sexy as hell. Don't know why but it is. Then again I am sure you can guess by now that everything she does is sexy to me.

Spencer interrupts my pointless thoughts.

"So, how is life as a Rock stars daughter?"

"It sucks." Pretty much sums it up.

"Oh" She expected a different answer I'm sure.

"He's never home and he never answers his phone."

"When's the last time you talked to him?"

"Over a month ago."

"Oh." She said again.

We were finally finished. We walked over to the cooler and grabbed some waters. After finding a tree to sit under she spoke again.

"So your dad is never home and your mom is…"

"A bitch?" I cut her off.

She laughs. "I wasn't going to say that."

"It's okay if you were. She is." And a few other names I could think of.

"Is she always like that?" She says and then takes a sip of her water.

"So loving you mean? Yeah Mother of the Year." I say sarcastically of course.

Spencer is looking at me like she is still waiting for an answer. Guess she didn't like that one.

"She doesn't get me. She doesn't agree with my choices. She wishes she never had me. She hates me. The feelings mutual." I didn't mean to say all of that but Spencer makes me feel like I could tell her anything. Sort of like with Miranda. Geez, wonder what their dinner conversations are like.

"I'm sorry Ashley. I didn't know it was that bad." How could she?

"Don't be sorry. You are not to blame for her lack of a heart." I take a sip of my water and look away.

She puts her hand on my arm.

"I know. But I am still sorry."

"Like I said. Don't be. I am used to it. Besides she's barely home." I look down at her hand.

She moves it. The look on her face says she didn't even realize she put it there.

"She's always been this way. I've learned to live with it. It's okay though. I will be away from her soon enough." I said quietly. I am not sure she caught all of it but it was mostly for myself anyway.

She looked at me sadly. I didn't want that. I didn't want pity.

"You know what is amazing Ashley?" She says looking right into my eyes.

"Me?" I bat my eyelashes.

"Yes. You." Huh?

I know I am awesome but I was just kidding.

"You grew up with a part time father and without your mother's love yet you have no problem giving love. You have such a big heart. You're so good with people, when you want to be of course." She smiles. "You have this way of making people feel special, beautiful and loved. I saw you with Alyssa and Miranda thinks the world of you. You have really helped her out. Made her feel part of something again. Made her feel special. I hope that one day you will find someone that will do that for you."

"I have... Miranda. She **is** special and beautiful in every sense of the word. She makes me laugh. She listens and isn't quick to judge. She is so smart and always knows the right thing to say and do to make me feel better. She's by far the best friend that I have."

Speak of the devil.

"Hey guys."

Miranda is here and she is not alone. With her is a tall, hot blonde. And when I say hot blonde, trust me she doesn't compare to the one sitting next to me. But she does kind of resemble the one from the club that one time. You know that one time that I stupidly cheated on Casey. Yeah that one. She resembles her because she is her. And she definitely recognizes me judging by the look on her face. She still wants me. She wants to finish what we started in that club. In that booth. Uh oh.

"Hi Ashley." She says in her sexy voice. Spencer looks at the girl strangely.

"Uh Hi." I don't remember her name. I don't think I ever knew it to begin with. I get up and walk over towards them.

"Hi, I'm Spencer." Spencer is suddenly in front of me shaking her hand. She is standing directly in front of me. It's almost like she is blocking me from touching the blonde. Hmmmm.

The moment has turned awkward. We are all standing there saying nothing.

"So why don't we all go get some sandwiches? I'm starved." Thank you Miranda. Always saving the day.

We all sat at a makeshift picnic table. I sat next to Spencer on one side and Miranda on the other side with Blondie. Miranda talked the entire time. Something about the sun and the ozone and global warming. I didn't really hear much. Why you ask? I was too busy feeling uncomfortable with Blondie eye fucking me and licking her lips. Oh and I can't forget to mention a little amused and excited by the sight of Spencer …glaring at her.

**Sorry it's not very long. Hope you enjoyed**.


	17. Chapter 17 Game, Point, Match

**As always thank you all for the comments. Love hearing what you have to say. It's truly inspiring.**

**noodles307- I love your two cents. I appreciate it and take your thoughts into consideration. I understand why you are mad at Spencer. Her words were harsh and they were meant to be. She could lose her job and a whole lot more that I will get into later. I am glad to hear that the "shrinking" moment affected you. That is what I was aiming for. Thanks again. **

**naranga87- Lol. Thanks. I don't think I have ever been told that my imagination "rocks". Thanks for that.**

**Acurcuru22- Glad you got your power back :)**

**Charlee-We all want a friend like Miranda. And I have been working on a Spencer P.O.V. I have re-wrote it like 5 times. I want it to be just right.**

**CoolGay- Sorry you had a bad day. Hopefully this will cheer you up a bit.**

**Here is chapter 17. I don't know why but I had a hard time with this one. I actually wrote it like 3 times and then started from scratch. I don't know why that is but here you go.**

**Oh and btw it is my birthday tomorrow so I want lots of reviews. Good or bad :)**

_I own nothing but my imagination._

I don't get her. Spencer. I've backed off as much as I can manage. I haven't done or said anything she would consider inappropriate. And trust me that feat alone has been difficult. I have moved on. Well not really but from her point it might look that way. She has my heart and doesn't want it. She can't be with me. She would never be with her "17 year old student who has a crush on her and oh yeah just so happens to be a girl." Her words, not mine. She told me to walk away. Get over it. Get over her. I can't. I decided today to try to be a friend. As much of a friend I can be with my teacher. "It's never going to happen Ashley." Again, her words.

So why am I sitting here at this picnic table feeling ridiculously uncomfortable, somewhat amused, and a tad angry?

Well Blondie A.K.A. Rebecca Jacobs is still eye fucking me and Spencer A.K.A. Heartbreaker is still glaring at her. All while I am sitting here, trying to listen to my best friend who is still talking about global warming.

I know what Blondie, sorry Rebecca wants. That is quite obvious. Spencer on the other hand, not so much. This woman is so damn complicated. She's like a jigsaw puzzle with too many fucking pieces. I don't know where to start.

I can only come up with one thing. She. Is. Jealous.

Well you know what? She made her bed. Now she has to sleep in it. ALONE. Sad I know.

Miranda stopped talking enough to excuse herself to use the bathroom. I don't know how she was so oblivious to what was going on. There is so much tension at this table you would need a chainsaw to cut through it.

It's quiet and it is not a comfortable quiet.

Rebecca is eyeing me up and down. Almost like she is undressing me in her mind.

Spencer is no longer glaring. She is looking in the other direction.

I am trying to figure out what to do. I have been acting all week. And I gotta say my acting was pretty solid. Not Oscar worthy but not Razzie award winning either. If I want Spencer to think I moved on there is only one thing I can do. Even though a piece of me. A very large piece doesn't want her to think that I have moved on I know I have to at least act like it. I know exactly what to do. And seeing her battle the good ol' green- eyed monster is going to be a bonus. Hope my plan works out in the end. Here we go.

"So Rebecca, how have you been? What have you been up to?" I ask Blondie.

"I've been good Ashley. Going to school, working and hanging out at the club. I haven't seen you there since that night." Had to bring up that night did ya?

"I play every Thursday night and some Saturday nights. We must just miss each other."

"Well that explains it. I am only there on Friday's. I have school on Thursday's and work on Saturday's. Maybe I should change my work schedule." She says followed by a sexy smirk.

"Yeah. Maybe you should." I throw back my own signature sexy smirk.

"Ahem." Spencer cleared her throat. I almost forgot she was there. Wait, no I didn't.

"Where do you go to school Rebecca?" That was Spencer trying to make friendly conversation I suppose. Yeah right.

"UCLA. I'm majoring in Marine Biology. I am fascinated with the ocean and its beings."

"That's great." Spencer said nonchalantly. She couldn't care less.

"Spencer here is a Literature Professor at UCLA." I smile over at Spencer who has a strange look on her face.

"Really. Wow you must be really smart Spencer. Oh, is it okay if I call you that?"

"No. You can call me Professor or Professor Dennison." Spencer said sternly.

"Oh sorry. I just assumed it was okay since you let your students call you by your first name." I would like to say she was really sorry but no, she was just being pretentious. She had an agenda. It seems similar to mine. I liked it. Anyway point 1 goes to Blondie.

"I am fine with my students calling me Spencer. You are not my student. I don't even know you." And a point for Spencer.

"Well I am only looking to get to know Ashley..more. Is **that **okay with you Professor?" She turned on the bench to face Spencer directly.

"Ashley is here as a volunteer for a **high**-school program. She is under my care right now. If you want to get to know her you will have to wait until later." 2-1 Spence.

"Why do I have a feeling you wouldn't be okay with 'later' either?" Tie game.

I feel like I am watching a tennis match. My head turning side to side to watch each player.

"You're right Rebecca. I mean you are a little old for her don't you agree?" Spencer is up by 1 again.

"I could say the same for you. Not to mention you're like her teacher right? Isn't that illegal?" Deuces.

Spencer stood up and walked over to Rebecca. Rebecca got up from her seat.

"What you are implying is ludicrous. You are way off base. You need to watch what you say." Uh oh. Spencer was pissed. Mmmm.

"Oh please. You can deny it all you want sweetheart. I can see it. I'm sure Ashley can too." Rebecca looks over at me. Shit. I stay expressionless.

"I care for Ashley. I don't want anybody to take advantage of her. That is what you see. That is all you see."

Rebecca laughs. "Really? You obviously don't know Ashley very well. She is old enough and experienced enough to know what she wants." Game.

"Not to mention we go way back. Right Ash? And believe me I know what she wants." Point.

She looks at me and puts her hand on top of mine. "So Ashley. You wanna go out tonight?" Match.

Miranda who just got back looks confused. Spencer looks pissed. Rebecca looks smug and I…well let's just say my plan worked and I look happy…in the inside.

"Um, how about I call you when I am done here." I tell a now anxious looking Rebecca.

"Sounds good. Here's my number." She takes a pen out of her pocket and writes her number on my hand as I was about to give her my phone. Marking her property I suppose. Too funny.

Spencer walked off back towards the garage. I thought pissed off Spencer was sexy. You should see pissed off and highly jealous Spencer. I need a cold shower.

"Bye Ashley. See you later." Rebecca winked and walked off towards the house.

Miranda was grinning at me. I had no problem reading her mind. It was saying "Work it girl."

"Stop grinning at me like that. You look like a weirdo. Oh and by the way I am in no way what so ever a NERD. So stop calling me Goob." I was serious. She was laughing.

"Finally figured out what it meant huh?" She laughed even harder.

"Not funny. C'mon let's go do this shit so we can go home." I grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the garage. No way was I going in there alone to deal with Spencer. Scary!

"You just want to hurry up so you can go home and call Re-bec-ca." Not really.

"Whatever. It's been weeks since I went out with someone. Sue me. I'm human."

"So you like her huh?"

"What's not to like? She's hot, she's blonde, she's a girl, she's hot." She's not Spencer.

"Really? That's all you can come up with?" Sadly yes.

"Look we're just gonna hang out. Not like I'm gonna ask her to go steady. Chill Doc."

"So does 'hang out' mean have sex in Ashley terminology?" Huh?

"No. Have sex means have sex in Ashley terminiology. And I am the new Ashley remember? No having sex." I should elaborate. "Only _making love_." I say in a deep sexy voice.

"C'mon Barry White. We have work to finish." Spencer says expressionless. She came out of nowhere. She hands me my hammer and some nails.

"Miranda I hope you are better at using one of these than Spencer is." I hold up my hammer and laugh.

"What?"

Spencer holds up her bandaged finger and smiles sarcastically.

"Funny Ashley." That's weird she doesn't look amused.

We worked for another couple hours. Miranda and I just joked to each other while Spencer said nothing unless she was spoken to. We were finally finished and headed to our cars. I waved to Rebecca who was getting into hers.

"Bye Miranda. See you at home." Spencer smiled to her sister in law.

"See you at school Ashley." She didn't smile at me. She just got in her car and started the engine.

Well my plan to make Spencer jealous worked. But now she was mad at me too. What did I tell ya? Complicated.

"So what are you up to tonight?" I ask my chauffeur.

"I don't know. Nothing much. Chelsea has plans with her family and you're going out with the hot blonde so I will probably just stay in. Do homework maybe." Wow. Fun night.

"What about Spencer? You could hang with her right?"

"Spencer's going out with some friends tonight. They're going to some play at the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood. Spence is a big fan of plays."

"Oh. Hmmm. Well why don't we hang out? Do something fun. What do you say Doc?" She looked at me like I had 3 heads.

"Did you forget about the hot blonde that you have a date with?"

"No. I didn't forget about the hot blonde." Either of them.

"Did I miss something?" She's so cute when she's confused.

"I said I would call her. Didn't say I was going to go out with her."

"Don't you think she'll be mad?"

"Nah. We can go out another time. I'm all yours tonight." I smile big and goofy.

"Ash. You don't have to do that. I'll be fine. It's not like I haven't spent a Saturday night alone before." Poor thing.

"That was before. This is now. And no best friend of the Ashley Davies spends Saturday nights alone. S-A ..T-U-R..D-A-Y Ey. Oh sorry."

"Uh. What was that exactly?"

"Are you kidding me?" She did not just ask me that.

"No..Not kidding. What was that?"

"Oh boy. Listen here best friend of mine. Tonight we are going to go to my house and I am going to make you listen to every record and cd that I have. You need a lesson in music my dear."

"Uh okay."

"Saturday niiiight, Saturday niiiight. I,I,I ,I just can't wait. I,I,I,I got a date." It was such a cheesy 70's song. But I loved it. The look on Miranda's face was hilarious. Must be my 3 heads again.

We went to my place after we got some grub. As I promised we listened to music all night. She was a good sport so when she asked me to play something for her I couldn't say no.

"What do you want me to play?"

"Something you wrote. Something from the heart. But not sad." Something from my heart that wasn't sad. That was a challenge. But I had a new song. This was the perfect time to sing it.

I hold out my hand for her and pull her up.

"We have to go downstairs. I need my piano."

We get downstairs to the piano room as I call it. It is a spacious room with white carpet and my black grand piano sits in the middle . Nothing else is needed. The walls are filled with signed pictures of several of my favorite artist. My dad has his own wall.

"Okay, well I wrote this a couple days ago . You're the first one to get to hear it. Which is perfect because I kind of wrote it for you. It's a little sad but a good sad." She just smiles at me and sit down next to me on the bench.

I close my eyes and take it all in. I let my fingers run over the keys. I'm instantly at peace. I'm home.

_It's like a storm_

_That cuts a path_

_It breaks your will_

_It feels like that_

_You think you're lost_

_But you're not lost on your own_

_You're not alone_

_I will stand by you_

_I will help you through_

_When you've done all you can do_

_And you can't cope_

_I will dry your eyes_

_I will fight your fight_

_I will hold you tight_

_And I won't let go_

_It hurts my heart_

_To see you cry_

_I know it's dark_

_This part of life_

_Oh, it finds us all_

_But we're too small_

_To stop the rain_

_Oh, but when it rains_

_I will stand by you_

_I will help you through_

_When you've done all you can do_

_And you can't cope_

_I will dry your eyes_

_I will fight your fight_

_I will hold you tight_

_And I won't let you fall_

_Don't be afraid to fall_

_I'm right here to catch you_

_I won't let you down_

_It won't get you down_

_You're gonna make it_

_Yeah, I know you can make it_

_Cause I will stand by you_

_I will help you through_

_When you've done all you can do_

_And you can't cope_

_And I will dry your eyes_

_I will fight your fight_

_I will hold you tight_

_And I won't let go_

_Oh I'm gonna hold you_

_And I won't let go_

_Won't let you go_

_No, I won't_

When I am finished I close my eyes again.

I feel her put her arm around me. I hear the quiet sounds of her tears.

She puts her head on my shoulder.

"Thank you Ash. It was beautiful." She says in an almost whisper.

I put my arm around her and lean my head on hers.

"You're welcome Doc."

We both went to sleep shortly after that. We were physically drained. I was a little emotionally drained as well.

After Miranda left Sunday afternoon I decided to write some more. I even managed to write the music to the songs I wrote last weekend. I was a writing machine. I was inspired. I was almost…happy. Almost.

Monday came and went as well and Tuesday and Wednesday. Things were going okay. I talked with Spencer here and there but mostly it was about school or volunteer work. Casey hadn't been in school at all and when I called her mom said she was sick. It made **me** sick thinking about her hurting. Hurting because of me.

Miranda did her best to cheer me up . She took me to the club on Thursday night. It still wasn't open but by Saturday it would be. We were going to have a big party to celebrate the re-opening. Not to mention it was my birthday. We stepped into the club and it was empty. I couldn't wait to get up on that stage Saturday night.

"Why don't you go up there and sing a few songs?" Miranda suggested.

I walk over to the stage and hop up onto it. I walk over to the piano and run my fingers over it.

"Hey!" Miranda shouts from her bar stool. I look at her with my eye brows raised.

"Something HAPPY and upbeat. K?"

I snicker. "Gotcha."

I sit down and think of what to play. I picked a song. It was upbeat but it wasn't mine. It was a song from one of my favorite

bands. I smiled over at Miranda and starting to sing while my fingers moved over the keys.

_Now that she's back in the atmosphere_

_With drops of Jupiter in her hair, hey_

_She acts like summer and walks like rain_

_Reminds me that there's a time to change, hey_

_Since the return from her stay on the moon_

_She listens like spring and she talks like June, hey, hey _

_But tell me, did you sail across the sun?_

_Did you make it to the Milky Way_

_To see the lights all faded_

_And that heaven is overrated?_

_Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?_

_One without a permanent scar_

_And then you missed me_

_While you were looking for yourself out there_?

_Now that she's back from that soul vacation_

_Tracing her way through the constellation, hey_

_She checks out Mozart while she does Tae-Bo_

_Reminds me that there's room to grow, hey_

_Now that she's back in the atmosphere_

_I'm afraid that she might think of me as_

_Plain ol' Jane told a story about a man_

_Who was too afraid to fly so he never did land_

_But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?_

_Did you finally get the chance_

_To dance along the light of day_

_And head back to the Milky Way?_

_And tell me, did Venus blow your mind?_

_Was it everything you wanted to find?_

_And then you missed me_

_While you were looking for yourself out there_

_Can you imagine no love, pride, deep-fried chicken_

_Your best friend always sticking up for you_

_Even when I know you're wrong?_

_Can you imagine no first dance, freeze-dried romance_

_Five-hour phone conversation_

_The best soy latte that you ever had, and me?_

_But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?_

_Did you finally get the chance_

_To dance along the light of day_

_And head back toward the Milky Way?_

_But tell me, did you sail across the sun?_

_Did you make it to the Milky Way_

_To see the lights all faded_

_And that heaven is overrated?_

_And tell me, did you fall for a shooting star?_

_One without a permanent scar_

_And then you missed me_

_While you were looking for yourself?_

_And did you finally get the chance_

_To dance along the light of day?_

_And did you fall for a shooting star?_

_Fall for a shooting star?_

_And now you're lonely looking for yourself out there_

Miranda stands up she wasn't the only one.

I look over to where the applause is coming from.

There were two people standing at the door.

To say I was shocked is quite an understatement.

I was in shock yes. I was overwhelmed at the sight in front of me. Happy yet sad. Excited yet calm.

I slid off the stage and walked towards them.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I closed them and then opened them again. Making sure I was actually seeing what I was seeing.

He walked over to me and pulled me into his arms. I held him tight never intending to let him go. I closed my eyes and I cried. I let it all go. I got lost in the warmth of his arms around me.

When I opened my eyes. I looked over at her. She was standing by the door. Tears trickling down her face. She wiped them quickly. What she was doing here I had no clue. Did she bring him to me? Was she the reason he was here? I didn't understand what was going on but at that moment I didn't care.

This night I would never forget. I had the three people that I needed most in this room with me. My best friend, the woman I was in love with and…. my dad.

**Hope you enjoyed**

**Songs:**

**Saturday night- The Bay City Rollers**

**I Won't Let Go- Rascal Flats**

**Drops of Jupiter- Train**


	18. Chapter 18 In that moment

**Thank you all for the reviews as always and for the birthday wishes.**

**Sorry I couldn't respond to all of the reviews but I am in a bit of a hurry.**

**noodles307- Yes it would be considered a crime. Corruption of a minor (statutory rape). 18 would be the legal age. You will find out how she did it in this chapter.**

**Charlee- Re-bec-ca is totally from "Son in Law". Loved that movie. I did take my time with Spencer's p.o.v. I decided to go with my second attempt at Spencer's p.o.v. because I think that I would probably never be happy with the results and then you guys would never get to read it at all.**

**FFReviews- As said in a previous chapter Ashley did admit to Miranda about at first talking to her to get to Spencer. They cleared that up. And trust me .. a sleepover has crossed my mind several times ;)**

**drummergirl244- Lol. I'm not going to stab you. In response to my "short chapters"...I can either give you short chapters every couple days or long chapters every week or longer. What would you prefer? ;)**

**So here it is everyone. The long awaited (for some) Spencer's P.O.V.**

**I could have wrote this about 50 times and not have been happy with it. I certainly hope you are not dissappointed.**

Chapter 18

Spencer's P.O.V.

7:30 p.m. I'm sitting in this airport waiting. Waiting for someone I have never met. Hoping this goes as planned. Hoping I am doing the right thing. Scratch that. I know I am doing the right thing. His plane doesn't land for another 30 minutes. I am early. I am anxious. I am nervous.

Miranda was worried. She was worried about Ashley. She hadn't heard from her father in over a month. I was worried as well. Ashley was good at acting. But in the inside she was hurting. Even I could see that. Miranda had confirmed it.

My feelings for Ashley go way passed the boundaries of a student/teacher relationship. I know that. I feel things for her that I haven't felt in quite some time. I shouldn't but I do and it's scary.

This isn't just about the fact that she is my student. Although losing my job would be like getting stabbed in the heart. I love my job. It's my passion. This isn't just the fact that she is a girl. Even though that is crazy enough. I mean when did I start to feel attraction towards the same sex? Oh right, when I saw Ashley sitting in my classroom for the first time all year. Already looking bored out of her mind. And so damn beautiful. This isn't just about the fact that I still love my husband. I will always love him. But I am young and I need to move on. This is about my freedom. Or lack thereof, if I surrender to my passion with a 17 year old girl.

Now I am fully aware that in less than a week Ashley turns 18 and my worst fear in all of this is no longer. But even then I know I have to keep my distance. Even though being near her, with her, feels so right. It is wrong. I have to stand firm and strong.

7:37 p.m. My knee is bouncing uncontrollably and I am chewing on my nails. Or what's left of my nails. Why do I feel like I am a teenage boy about to meet my girlfriend's father for the first time? I am so worried about whether he will like me or not. I want him to like me. Even though I want to ream the guy for abandoning Ashley I want him to like me.

I am thinking about her again. What's new? I can't help it. I haven't been able to get her out of my mind. I think back to the first time I saw her up on that stage. So small, so talented, so beautiful, so…sexy. Argh! I am still trying to get used to feeling this way for a girl. She was so amazing up on that stage. She reminded me of me when I would give lectures in my classes. So much love. So much passion. She played the guitar with ease which made me believe that it was all in her blood. She was born to play. And Ashley at the piano. No words for that. And that voice. My God. I felt chills it was so beautiful.

7:46 p.m. My phones goes off. Miranda is going to pick up Ashley and take her to the club. She wanted to get her out of the house and try to cheer her up. She told me about what had happened with Ashley's friend Casey. I really can't blame Casey. Ashley is quite lovable. I feel truly sorry for the girl. And I know Ashley is feeling somewhat similar to what Casey is feeling right now. I sure made sure of that. But what can I do? I didn't want to give her hope.

Miranda even told me about what Ashley's mom had done. I wanted to drive over there and beat the snot out of that old hag but alas, she wasn't home. I wanted to slap that woman when she came up to school that day. Unbelievable. It amazes me what Ashley has been through in her short life. Yet she is still a wonderful human being. What she has done for Miranda touches me deeply. Ever since Aiden's death she had been unreachable. She had her good days thankfully, when she would let me in. We would go out to dinner, shopping, movies. But most of the time she would come home and go right to her room. Getting her to eat would be quite the challenge at times. She was hiding from the rest of the world. Not willing to give in to life. Not willing to let anyone in. Not wanting to love or be loved. She was so afraid of the chances of losing that love. I couldn't blame her. Not one bit.

But since Ashley befriended her I can see the change in Miranda. A good change. No. A great change. I have never heard her laugh so much. I have never seen her smile so much. I have never seen that look on her face when she talks about Ashley. At first I thought it was Ashley's way of getting closer to me. Maybe it was. It doesn't matter now. Miranda and Ashley have become great friends. I think they both needed each other more then they even knew. And seeing Miranda happy again gives me hope that I can be happy again too. Sometimes I am jealous of Miranda. To get to be that close to Ashley. Sometimes, okay almost all of time I wish that Ashley was the one making me happy too.

7:50 p.m. I snicker at the image of Carmen Vasquez on her ass on the wet ground. Blood trickling from her nose. I know I shouldn't find that amusing but I do. She put Miranda through hell all school year. That little snot nosed brat. Well now broken nosed thanks to Ashley. I had to pull her away from her or who knows what would have happened. I remember afterwards taking her hand to see the damage the punch had caused. A couple of her knuckles were red and swollen. So badly I wanted to take her hand to my mouth and kiss it. So badly I wanted to take her in my arms and hold her. So badly I wanted to kiss her. So I walked away.

7:54 p.m. My mind wanders effortlessly to that day. The day at the hospital. I knew she had it in her. She spent a little over 2 hours with Alyssa and I could tell how affected Alyssa had been by Ashley and vice versa of course. When I heard the music initially I thought it was coming from a T.V. A rather loud T.V. But then I saw the nurse's hanging out inside the doorway. I was curious. What I had seen when I squeezed between them tugged at my heart so strongly I thought it would rip right through my chest. I couldn't hold back the tears. Ashley's voice was so pure, so angelic, and so natural. Beautiful in every way imaginable. The look on Alyssa's face is what pushed me over the ledge. She was so happy. She was smiling ear to ear. Ashley was just what she needed. I knew she would be.

I knew the minute we stepped into that elevator that something big was about to happen. I could see it in her eyes. I could hear it in her voice. I could feel it in the air. I could feel it inside of me. My heart beating so fast I was afraid she could hear it. She pressed me up against the wall and I was done for. It felt so good. Her body pressed against mine. Her breathe on my face. Her fingers on my lips. I gave in. I had no choice. I couldn't move. And when she pressed her lips against mine I felt something come to life once again. I felt alive again. She bit my bottom lip and I let a moan slip out. I couldn't help it. I wanted her closer. I needed her closer. So I pulled her closer. I was so aroused by the feel of her against me. I looked up briefly and saw the numbers above the door flashing. 5,4,3.. We were getting closer to the main floor. I pushed her off of me just as the door chimed and the doors to the second floor opened. We were so close to getting caught. I was so close to getting caught making out with my 17 year old student. It scared the shit out of me. But at the same time I instantly missed the warmth of her body and the feel of her smooth perfect lips. I was screwed.

I told her the truth. But not all of it. The look in her eyes, the tears on her face. Killed me slowly. I wanted her. I wanted to give her what she wanted. I needed her. I know she needed me. I knew it wasn't just a crush. You don't kiss a crush like that. But I was scared. I had every right to be. So I pushed her away. I didn't lie. I do love my husband still. I miss him each and every day. But I also miss the feeling of being held in someone's arms. I miss feeling loved. I miss feeling needed. I had a chance for that again. But there were too many risks. Risks I was sure I couldn't take. Risks I am slowly beginning to overlook and that is scary too.

7:58 p.m. It was just announced over the speaker that flight 238 from Miami would be landing in an estimated 4 minutes. In an estimated 10 minutes I would be meeting him. In an estimated 30 minutes I would be leaving with him. In an estimated 45 minutes I would be without a doubt cussing him out. In an estimated hour he would be reunited with his daughter.

8:00 p.m. I am waiting closer to the gates. Leaned up against the wall I think of Ashley once more. The way she looked at Sarah when she took the first aid kit from her. Too funny. Too cute. Sooo sexy. The way she held my hand while she bandaged my finger. So warm. So caring. The way she was patient with me and tried to teach me how to pound a damn nail into the wall. So amazing. The way she was trying to be a good friend and listen to Miranda why Rebecca was shamelessly, non- verbally flirting with her. So adorable. The way Rebecca was so obviously trying to get in her pants. So damn pitiful. So unbelievably inappropriate. So fucking infuriating. I can't believe that girl. What I am feeling may be wrong. But at least I am trying to show some restraint. Trying. Not working out so well. It is killing me inside. It kills me to think that she doesn't know how I feel about her. She doesn't know what she means to me. So hard to not tell her that she is all I think about. She deserves to know that. But I can't tell her how important she is to me. So I have to show her.

8:05 p.m. I see him from a distance. It's not hard. He kind of stands out. But not in the way his daughter so effortlessly does. No. His white, all over the place hair is what makes him stand out. A few passengers are walking with him as he signs a paper and hands it to them with a smile and a wink. Yep. She is definitely his daughter. He is looking for me. I wave and hold up a cup of Joe from Swork Cafe. It was already cold but it was the sign telling him that I was me. He instantly smiles and walks towards me. I can see Ashley in him already.

"Well hello gorgeous. You couldn't possibly be Mrs. Dennison. You are much too young to be a Mrs. So what's your name?" He gives me what I think is his sexy grin. Ashley has him beat on that. By far.

"Spencer Dennison" I hold my hand out to shake but he grabs it and pulls it up to his mouth and kisses the top of it. I see where Ashley gets her charm.

"Well I'm not surprised a gal like you is already married. Has anyone ever told you that you are incredibly stunning?" I laugh and pull my hand from his.

"No. I don't think so. But thank you." I blush. He smiles and shrugs.

"Not a problem young lady." Such a gentlemen.

We start walking to baggage claim and he passes it up. Apparently he doesn't have any baggage. "I got all I need in this bag here." He lifts his bag up to show me.

"If I need anything else I'll just buy it." Must be nice.

After about a half an hour , 14 autographs and numerous pictures we finally make it outside. I forgot I was in the presence of rock royalty. Here I thought I was just with Ashley's dad. The man never quits his job. He lives it. He loves it. Poor Ashley.

We're almost to my car when his phone rings. He apologizes and then answers it. I point towards my car and he nods.

I get in and start the engine. I look down and see the paper with his number and his flight information on it. I think back to the day I decided to try and call him.

_"Hey Spence." Miranda says walking in the door._

_"Hey. Did you have a good night?" She was with Ashley so I am sure she did._

_"Yeah. I had a great night. Ashley sang a song that she wrote for me. It was beautiful."_

_"Well that's sweet. I thought she was going out with that Rebecca girl?"_

_"Nope. She ditched her for little ol' me." Miranda was so happy._

_"Well that's good to hear. You're her best friend. You should come first." I was good at hiding my excitement._

_"You've been spending a lot of time over there. Is she alright? I know she puts on an act in front of other people. So how is she, really?"_

_Miranda looks to the ground. When she looks back up I can see it in her sad eyes. She doesn't have to say anything._

_"Is it Casey? Her mom? What's going on?" I hate to think that Ashley is hurting._

_"Yeah. But it's not just them. She really misses her dad. She's really worried about him? She doesn't say it all the time but last night I saw her holding a picture of the two of them. She was crying. She tried to hide it but it was kind obvious." Miranda's voice was full of worry._

_"So she can't get a hold of him at all?"_

_"She's tried to almost every day. His phone goes right to voicemail. She's tried his manager's phone but the number is no longer in service. She called his record company last week and talked to his assistant she said she would call if she heard from him. Her mother said that he just doesn't want to be bothered. I think Ashley's beginning to believe that. She hasn't tried calling him for a couple days now. She has given up. It's sad."_

_Miranda started towards her bedroom and then turned around. "I'm gonna go do some homework. Call me when it's time for dinner?"_

_"Sure thing."_

_I had to try to find him. I had to talk to him. I had to do this. For Ashley. I already had one girl in my life that had no parents. That was hard enough. There was no chance for Miranda to have her parents back. Ashley at least had a chance to get one of her parents back in her life. Her mother was a raging bitch. Her father was nowhere near innocent in this but I had to at least talk to him. Let him know what was going on. Find out if he cared enough to come home._

_On Monday afternoon I went to the office and gathered as many numbers as I could from Ashley's file. I tried the number that was under her father's name. Voicemail. There was a secondary number under her father's name. No longer in service. The other number was her mother. Not a chance. I knew her father owned a record company. Maybe he kept in touch with them. I looked up the record company on the internet._

_"Raife Davies Records. How can I direct your call?" Says some bubbly voice._

_"I'm not sure actually. My name is Spencer Dennison and I am calling from The Archer School for Girls. I am a teacher there and Mr. Davies daughter is one of my students. I need to get a hold of him but his contact numbers are not in service. Is there someone I can talk to?"_

_"One moment Ma'am."_

_I was on hold for 15 minutes and about ready to hang up. Finally someone picks up the line._

_"Mrs. Dennison?" Says an older woman._

_"Yes. I am here."_

_"Hello Mrs. Dennison. I am Margaret Daniels. I am Mr. Davies assistant. From what I understand you are trying to get a hold of Mr. Davies. Is that correct?"_

_"Yes that is correct. His contact numbers that we have on record are out of service."_

_"That's odd. His numbers were changed over a month ago. Mrs. Davies was supposed to get a hold of the school to have them changed on record." Huh?_

_"Mrs. Davies has been uncooperative with the school which is one of the reasons why we are trying to get ahold of Mr. Davies."_

_"Well that doesn't surprise me. Okay this is what I am going to do Mrs. Dennison. I am going to call the school and change the numbers myself. Then you may get the numbers from the school. I apologize for the inconvenience but as I am sure you will understand I can't just give you the numbers."_

_"I understand Ms. Daniels. Can I ask you a question before you go?"_

_"Sure go ahead."_

_"Ashley called sometime last week and said she talked to her dads assistant. She was supposed to call if she had heard from him. Did she talk to you Ms. Daniels?"_

_"I have not seen or heard from Ashley in months. It must have been Jackie. She is my assistant." An assistant with an assistant. O-kay._

_"Okay thank you for your time Ms. Daniels."_

_"You're very welcome Mrs. Dennison. I hope Ashley gets in touch with her father."_

_"Me too. Thanks again."_

_Okay so something strange is going on. Why would her mom not call the school with the new numbers? Was she keeping him from Ashley? And what did this Jackie lady have to do with all of this?_

_I went to school on Tuesday morning and went to the office to see if Ms. Daniels had called with the new numbers. She had. Thankfully. I called on my way to the University and surprisingly he answered on the 3rd ring._

_"Mr. Davies this is Mrs. Dennison I am.." He cut me off._

_"You are a teacher from my daughter's school right? I talked to Margaret about 10 minutes ago. She said that the school was never given my new numbers and that from the impression she got neither had my daughter."_

_"That is correct Sir. Your daughter has been trying to get a hold of you for over a month." I said a little harshly and he was quiet for a moment._

_"Is my baby girl okay? Did something happen? I'm going to kill Christine if something happened to my Princess and she didn't call me. That no good bitc.."_

_"Mr. Davies your daughter is fine. She just. She needs her father. That's all." Good to see I wasn't the only one who thought that of Mrs. Davies._

_"With all due respect Sir, I don't understand how you could leave your daughter home with that woman." I said with anger very evident in my voice. "She has physically, verbally and emotional abused your daughter. Not to mention she has abandoned her the same way you have. Ashley is a wonderful person and she doesn't deserve the life you have given her." I was yelling at this point. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down. "I'm sorry it's just that I care for your daughter and I see how she struggles every day to believe in herself and she does such an amazing job taking care of other people but has literally no-one to take care of her. She needs you. She needs her father."_

_He didn't say anything for a long time. But it was obvious he was there. I could hear his deep breathing. I know I heard him sniff a few times. I think he was actually crying. Good!_

_"I can be on a plane tomorrow afternoon. Do you think you could pick me up from the airport?" What? Doesn't he have someone he can call? He is frickin' Raife Davies after all._

_"Sir, I am sure you can find just about anyone to pick you up from the airport. Is it really necessary for me to be there?"_

_"Yes. It is. I want to see you and talk to you before I see my daughter. Is that okay? You'll be there right?" Did I have a choice?_

_"Of course Mr. Davies. I will be there. Just call me tomorrow with the flight information."_

_"I will sweetheart and please call me Raife."_

_"I will see you tomorrow Mr. Davies. Good night." I hung up. That guy had some nerve._

_He was coming home. Ashley would have her father back. For how long I didn't know but I didn't think that mattered. I had a feeling that the moment Ashley saw her father everything would be okay._

He finally gets in the car after being on the phone for 15 minutes. He turns to me.

"Sorry about that Hun. I had some loose ends to take care of. They weren't too happy with me taking off like that." He rubs the back of his neck with his hand and then looks out the window.

"How is she?" He said still looking out the window.

I talked to him the whole way back. I told him everything that I knew and a few things that Miranda had told me. I told him the good stuff and the bad stuff. I told him about the night she slept in her car, the fight with Carmen Vasquez, the affect she had on Alyssa and Miranda, how she had finally started to care about school. I told him about what Miranda had told me about Ashley's mother. How she hit her and threw things at her and threatened her. I think that Ashley would be mad at Miranda for telling me and Miranda would be mad at me for telling Raife but he needed to know. He knew now and he saw red. He wanted to go find Christine but I convinced him that the person he needed to go find was Ashley.

He in return told me that he had given Christine his new number to give to Ashley. And he had fired his manager after they had gotten into an argument about him going home. So he had his ex-managers phone plan cancelled and that is probably why it had no service. He had called the house a few times to talk to Christine and had asked for Ashley but she would always say she wasn't home. He agreed that neither of those were good enough excuses to why he hadn't talked to Ashley in a month. He agreed that he had been a horrible father. He agreed that he had to change. Ashley needed him and he was going to be there for her.

"It seems that you really care about my daughter Mrs. Dennison. She's lucky to **at least** have you. And it seems that this Miranda has been a great influence on her."

"I do care for your daughter. She is an amazing person. She's been through a lot yet she hasn't given up on life. I just wish she felt as loved as she makes others feel." I know I had a cheesy smile on my face but I didn't care.

"You sure you're just her teacher Mrs. Dennison?" He had strange but friendly smile on his face.

"Yes. I am **just** her teacher. But we have gotten close lately. I guess you could consider her a friend. Please call me Spencer. You're making me feel really old calling me Mrs. Dennison. Especially since you are practically old enough to be my father." I laughed when he frowned.

"Okay Spencer. So you are just _friends_ with my daughter. I guess I can pretend that I actually believe that." He laughed. "You sure have done quite a lot for her as her 'friend'."

I couldn't look at him. He would be able to see right through me. I just kept driving. My eyes focused on the road in front of me. I felt his hand on top of my hand that was on the arm rest. I looked over at him.

"It's okay." He patted my hand. "I'm happy that she has found someone in her life that cares for her as much as you do."

I didn't say anything. There was no reason to. I couldn't hide it nor could I deny it. Yes I cared for Ashley. More than I wanted to. I hoped that she would figure out how much without me having to say it.

I called Miranda to find out where they were. They were almost at the club.

We pulled into the parking lot 5 minutes later. My old Jeep Wrangler that was now Miranda's was the only car in the parking lot. We both stepped out of the car and started towards the door. He stopped.

"What if she doesn't want to see me? What if she hates me?" He looked like he was going to cry.

I walked over to him and grabbed his hand.

"She doesn't hate you. She loves you. And when she sees that you are here you will see how much she has missed you." I say softly and he gives me a sad smile. "C'mon. Your daughter is waiting for you." I pull him to the door and go in first.

She is up on stage. There are only 2 lights on in the whole club and one of them is directly above her. She looks so beautiful in the dull light. Her fingers are dancing over the keys and while she sings she has this smile on her face that is all her own. I look over at Raife and he has tears streaming down his cheeks. He has a face full of mixed emotions. Sadness, guilt, admiration and pride.

She finishes and I hear Miranda clap. Raife and I join her. Ashley looks up from her piano and over towards us. She has her eyes squinted. She slides off the stage and walks closer. She closes her eyes and re-opens them. Then her eyes open wide. Raife walks over to her and pulls her into his arms. I hear him sob. I hear her whimper. I see her tears. I see her tighten her grip around him. I feel the muscles in my heart tighten. I get choked up. I let my own tears fall. The sight before me affecting me more than I thought it would.

Ashley had her father back. She would no longer be worried. She would no longer be scared for him. She would no longer have to wonder if he loved her. And I would make sure of that or I would kill that man myself.

She looked over at me. In her eyes I saw relief. I saw comfort. I saw happiness. I saw gratefulness. I saw love.

I wiped my tears, smiled and tilted my head to the side.

In that moment I knew I had done the right thing. In that moment my heart felt so full. In that moment I knew I was in love with Ashley. In that moment I realized I wasn't scared anymore. And all I could do was smile.

**_Review, review , review :)_**


	19. Chapter 19 Daddy's home

**Wow. Thank you all for the reviews. Glad that everybody enjoyed a look into the mind of Spencer. I had a hard time with that chapter so to hear you all enjoyed it made my day. **

**bobo02- Thank you and you're very welcome. I will try my hardest to keep up the good work :)**

**LoLo06, lisarichie, Sgarc12, ashleyss27, momo0424, Acurcura, Alana0906, emking3- THANK YOU. You're reviews mean the world to me. Glad you are enjoying the story. **

**naranga87- I am only a writing machine because you guys inspire me to be. Spashleyness is ahead but you ARE going to have to wait my "Lady Friend" ;)**

**noodles307- Sorry I am turning you into a "pathetic sap" . It was not my intention but I am glad that my story has affected you that way. **

**itswhatever- Yes as I said I was worried. Soo glad I worried for nothing. Thanx.**

**Charlee- Glad you enjoyed it and Son-in-law is an awesome movie. One of my fave's too. "Can I please widdle wood with you?"**

**drummergirl- Sorry that you had a bad day. Hope you are feeling better. *Hugs and a kiss on the cheek* for you too my dear. I knew you would say longer chapters ;)**

**tbplrbear1- You're so right. Ashley and Spencer need to work on themselves first before they can be together. And graduation is just around the corner. Hello Spashley!**

**oneliner- You are partially right. Spencer did acknowledge..to herself..that she hurt Ashley but she did it so that she wouldn't give her hope. Probably should have gotten more into that. Thank you for the comment.**

**CoolGay- I am in the North American Eastern time zone. I believe you are about 6 hours ahead of me. I usually write my chapters in the early morning and post them whenever I get the chance. Sorry I can not always give you your bedtime story :(**

**Okay so here is my question for you all: Would you rather have...**

**A- Short chapters every other day.**

**or**

**B- Long chapters every 5-7 days.**

**Chapter 19**

_I own nothing but my good ol' imagination_

I reluctantly pull away from my dad. I look at his tear stained face. His eyes telling me two things. I'm sorry and I love you. I rest my head on his chest and breathe in his smell. I haven't felt this safe, this warm, this happy in ..well never. I pull back again and smile through my tears.

"What are you doing here? How? Where have you been?" I have so many questions for him.

"Easy there Princess. One at a time." He lifts both of his hands and wipes my tears with his thumbs. He holds my face, leans in and kisses my forehead.

"Where have you been?" I need answers.

"Nowhere as important as here. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you Princess." He frowns. "How about we get out of here and go get some ice cream sundaes. Then we'll talk. I will answer any and all questions you have."

"Sounds good dad." I grab his hand and we head for the door. I can't believe he is here right now. I want to pinch myself. So I do. Ouch!

We are almost to the door when he stops. He looks back at the stage.

"You were amazing up there Ashley. Definitely got that Rock star blood flowing through ya."

I give him a cocky smile. "You ain't seen nothing yet Pops."

Spencer and Miranda are standing outside by her car. Miranda has her arm around Spencer. As we can approach them I see Spencer wipe her eyes again.

My dad is the first to talk. "Spencer Thank you. I appreciate what you have done for me and my daughter. And you.." He grabs Miranda's hands. "You must be Miranda."

She nods and smiles.

"Thank you Sweetheart for being such a good friend to my daughter." He pulls Miranda into a hug and I get a bit choked up. He really has no idea how much of a good friend she has been.

I look over at Spencer and she is looking at me. I can tell she wants to say something but she doesn't. Her eyes are red from crying and I begin to wonder why this has affected her so much. What part did she have in my father being home? My thoughts are interrupted by my father.

"So why don't we all go get some ice cream sundaes? My treat." My dad, always the generous one.

"No. That's okay. You should go spend some time with your daughter." Spencer finally speaks.

"Oh, it's okay. Really. Hopefully.." I look at my dad when I say the next part. "He will be here long enough for us to have a looooong talk." I smile at my dad and he smiles back. I have missed his goofy smile.

"Really Ashley. It's okay. We should get going." Not so fast Spencer. I want answers from you too.

"Oh hush. Let's go. You're driving Teach." I smile as I grab my dad's hand. We both get in the back. Miranda gets in the passenger seat. Spencer is slow to get into the car. I guess she really doesn't want to come. Too bad.

I held my dad's hand the whole way and caught Spencer's eyes on me once again in the rear view mirror. She didn't look away once she had been caught. And again I am left to wonder what that woman is thinking.

We all sit down in a corner booth of the nearly empty ice cream shop. Dad and I had ordered ice cream sundaes. Miranda just ordered a chocolate cone and Spencer ordered a small banana split. We were all joking around and laughing. Well all except for Spencer. She just sat quietly eating her banana split. Smiling here and there at random things.

Leave it to my dad to put you on the spot "Hey there Blue Eyes. Why ya so quiet? You were anything but quiet when you were cussing me out on the way here." Oh really now. Spencer was cussing out my dad. Interesting.

"Oh really. So dear old dad what is it that my wonderful teacher here had to say?" I never take my eyes off of Spencer. She scoops up a banana with her spoon and brings it to her mouth.

"Oh ya know. Just that I'm a shitty father and that you deserve better. Something like that." Spencer puts the spoon in her mouth and holds it there while she raises her eye brows.

"She's right though. I am a shitty father and you do deserve better." I finally look away from Spencer and to my dad. His head is down. I squeeze his hand and he looks up.

"Make it up to me then." I give him the Davies signature break hearts smile.

"I plan to Princess. I'm all yours." We press our foreheads together and I have to hold back my tears.

"Can you excuse me for a second? I have to use the ladies room." Spencer says suddenly. Then she is out of her seat and walking towards the other side of the ice cream shop.

"Is she okay?" My dad asks.

"I don't know. Let me go check." Miranda starts to slide out of the booth.

"No. I'll go check. I have to use the bathroom anyway." I lied.

"Okay. That's fine. I wanted to ask your dad about some embarrassing moments from your childhood anyway. Take your time." Miranda smiles wickedly.

"Ask away. Nothing could be more embarrassing or shameful than the things you already know about." I shrug and step out of the booth.

When I get to the bathroom Spencer is washing her hands. I walk in all of the way and lean up against the wall. She looks over at me through the mirror. Her expression is one of both fear and anxiousness. She dries her hands, turns and starts walking towards the door. It seems as though she is going to just walk out the door but she stops just before it and throws her paper towel in the trashcan on the other side of the door. She doesn't move after that.

"I don't know exactly how it happened but I have a feeling I should be thanking you. So….. thank you." She looks up at me with her lips pursed.

"You're welcome." That's all she says and then she reaches for the door.

"Spence wait." It's out of my mouth before I can even render a thought.

She stops. I can see the wetness forming in her eyes.

I slowly move closer to her. She doesn't back away. So I grab her hands and hold them in mine.

"Thank you. Really. You don't know what it means to me seeing him, talking to him, being in his arms. This is all just so surreal." Those tears I was holding back are starting to push through. I don't know how much longer I will be able to keep them in. My voice is quiet and my hands are shaking. "You keep doing things like this and I don't know how I am going to be able to keep walking away."

A lone tear drops from her eye and I instantly without thinking wipe it away with my thumb. I drop my hand back to my side. The other one still holding hers.

"Thank you for caring enough about me to do this for me. I owe you one. Which is why I am going to …walk away again." I look away from her beautiful, sad eyes and then turn to open the door. Our hands are still linked and she pulls me back towards her. She lets go of my hand and puts her arms around me. I hesitate for a second but then reach mine around her. I was lost for a second. I couldn't believe what was happening. I was in Spencer's arms. Her warm, loving arms. They were tight around me and I was sure I was imagining it. My head was in the crook of her neck and I couldn't help but breathe her in. Her scent was amazing. I couldn't describe it if I tried. It was just Spencer scent. I always imagined what being in her arms would feel like but I never imagined this. I never imagined it to feel so innocent. It felt natural. And there was nothing sexual about this embrace. It was all about comfort. Nothing had ever felt so right. At that point I lost it. I let go. Tears flowed like a river. Down my face and onto my shirt and probably hers too. I didn't care. I wanted this so badly. No..I needed this so badly. I needed to know she cared. She held me tighter and whispered reassurances in my ears and then I felt her warm lips on my forehead. I closed my eyes and tried to memorize the way I felt in this moment so I would remember it forever.

I lifted my head off of her shoulder and away from her warm neck. My brown eyes met her blue and I couldn't look away. No words needed to be said. Everything I needed to know I saw in her eyes. She wanted me but she couldn't be with me. She needed me but she but she couldn't say it. She had feelings for me but she couldn't show them. It killed me but I understood. Of course I wanted more but that wasn't possible. Not yet anyway.

"I'm sorry that I keep hurting you. That is not my intention." She looked away trying to hide her own hurt. Pulling back she let go of the grip she still had on my arms.

"I know. I'm sorry too."

"You have nothing to be sorry for Ashley." She lifts her hand to my face and wipes away the remainder of my tears.

"We should get back out there before they start wondering." She dropped her hand from my face and I immediately felt the loss of warmth.

"Yeah. Okay."

When we stepped out of the bathroom we immediately heard Miranda. She was laughing hysterically. Great! My dad must have remembered a good one.

We reach the table and they both stop laughing. But Miranda can't hold it in. She busts out laughing again.

"So you thought that since you were dressed like Wonder Woman that you could fly huh?" She pursed her lips together and started giggling eternally.

"Ah. Good one Dad. Yes, if you must know I thought I had super speed too. Took off from one end of the roof with my super speed and flew off the other side of the roof. Luckily for me there was a pond behind the house and I knew how to swim."

They were all laughing now. Even Spencer had joined in.

"Laugh it up guys. Ha ha ha. Ok jokes over can we ..go now."

"I got more stories even better than that Sweetheart. Just come on over to the house soon and we'll talk some more." He says to Miranda and she nods.

"Sounds like a plan Mr. D."

We all walk out to the car. I can't help but smile. This night has been amazing and ...very emotional.

Spencer drove back to the club so that Miranda could get her car. I got out with Miranda and walked her to her car. She stopped at the door and turned around.

"I love seeing you so happy. It makes me happy." She grabs me and pulls me in for a hug. I seem to be getting a lot of those tonight. And strangley I didn't mind one bit. I pull back and smile at her.

"Thank you Miranda."

"For what?"

"For being such an awesome friend. For being happy that I am happy. For being you. For …whatever part you had in my dad being home." I breathe in the cool night air and look up at the sky.

"Ash?" I look back at her.

"You're welcome. For all of it. And thank you for being such an awesome friend too." She rubs my arm and then squeezed my hand. "I'll see you tomorrow….Wonder Woman." She giggles and then gets in her car. I guess Wonder Woman is better than Goob.

The drive back to our house was quiet. Our house. My dad was home. I didn't know for how long but I was happy with whatever time I could get. When we pulled up my dad turned to Spencer.

"Thank you again Spencer. My daughter is lucky to have you in her life. I hope I get to see you again soon Blue Eyes." He kissed her hand and got out of the car.

"I'll let you girls say goodbye." Thanks Dad.

I got out of the car and walked over to Spencer's window. I put my elbows on the open window and rested my chin on my hands. I looked at Spencer and smiled.

"I know my dad and I have probably overused the words tonight but Thank you. I am so happy right now you have no clue."

"I'm glad that you are happy Ash. You deserve to be. And you're welcome. Again. It was truly my pleasure." She reached up and tucked a piece of windblown hair back behind my ear.

She looked so beautiful in the moonlight. She literally took my breath away.

"Forgive me." I say as I lean into the car.

"For wha.." She tried to say but I cut her off with my lips.

It was a brief kiss but a powerful one. The butterflies in my tummy fluttered about uncontrollably. The touch of her lips on mine sent a shock throughout my entire body. The taste of her lips was intoxicating. I don't know how I pulled away but I did. Her eyes were closed and she opened them just before I pulled back out of the car window.

"Goodnight Spence." I said with a sly grin.

"Goodnight Ashley. See you in the morning." She shook her head and smiled back.

Oh right..school. I almost forgot about that. Actually I did forget.

Dad and I sat up and talked to nearly 1 in the morning. Our conversation was quite the emotional rollercoaster.

We went from just talking….

_"So how are things in school?"_

_"Good. For once I actually don't mind going?" I laugh._

_"Does that have anything to do with your beautiful, blue-eyed teacher?"_

_"A little." I grin._

To me yelling…

_"A month Dad. How could you not try to get a hold of me? I tried for weeks. Didn't know where you were. If you were okay. Were you not worried about me?"_

_"I tried to get a hold of you Princess. I guess I just didn't try hard enough. I let your mother lie to me. I let her make me believe that you were too busy out having fun with your friends and didn't need me. I'm soo sorry Ashley. I didn't know things were so bad."_

_"You could have called ME dad. I have my own phone." I hold up my phone at him._

_"Ash. I got a new phone and didn't remember the number. That's when I called your mother and she told me not to bother. You were too busy for me. I know I shouldn't have listened to that bitch but I was stupid. "_

To him crying…

_"I'm sorry baby. I'm here now. And I wanna make up for it all." Seeing him cry made me cry. I couldn't handle it._

Too both of us laughing…

_"You called her that? She had to love that."_

_"Yeah and she told me that I was just like you. I think she thought that it would bother me." We both giggled like little school girls._

To him yelling….

_"I can't believe she hit you Ashley. If you couldn't get a hold of me you should have told someone. Anyone. She had no right to do that. When I get a hold of that scrawny twit I am gonna ring her neck."_

To me crying…

_"I was just so lost and I didn't want to but it made me feel better instantly. Thank God Miranda showed up the next morning or who knows what would have happened."_

I had never cried so much in my life. Luckily my dad was there give me a shoulder to cry on and to catch all the tears.

My dad was still officially married to my mother. But I had a feeling that after everything he had heard tonight it wouldn't be long until he filed for divorce. He didn't want to give her anything but he didn't want her in our lives more. He would lose a lot of money and possessions because of the divorce but he didn't care about that anymore. He wanted her gone and he knew the moment she had a full bank account..she would be. Fine with me. Sayonara Christine.

I was in my bed ready to fall asleep when he came in.

"Hey there Princess. Want daddy to tuck you in?" He smiled big.

"No thanks Dad. I think I can manage. I'm almost 18 after all."

"Oh right. My little girl isn't so little anymore. I've missed a lot." He looked sad again.

"You have. Dad…how long are you going to be here?" I asked nervously.

"How long do you want me to be here?" Uh forever.

"I want you here for as long as you can possibly be here. I miss you Daddy. I need you. Please don't go yet." My voice cracked and the damn tears were threatening to spill again.

"I'm not going anywhere just yet. I've got some things to take care of. One being you. The other being your mother. You're stuck with me for a while."

"I don't mind. I like being stuck with you." My little girl voice came out and it was like I was 7 years old again begging my daddy not to leave.

"Goodnight Princess. See you in the morning." He kissed my forehead. "I love you Ashley."

"I love you too Daddy."

**Reviews please. As much as I loooove the good ones. I will take the bad too :(**


	20. Chapter 20 To Make You Feel My Love

**Well Thank you again for the reviews. You guys are too good to me. Sorry it took a bit longer for an update. Life happened and I just haven't had the chance to write. I am going to continue to update as soon as possible. It may take 2 days , it may take 4. Just depends on how much time I have and how inspired I am. **

**Charlee- Thanks. And don't worry Christine will get hers. " guys have chickens? I love chickens! Are they extra crispy or original recipe?" Pauly shore is a riot :)**

**Lolo06- I love the Spashley teacher/student relationship too which is why I decided to write the story. I have read a few stories and haven't been happy with them. They weren't realistic at all. Oh and as for Spencer waiting for Ashley to turn 18..you are partically correct.**

**CoolGay- Hope you did okay waiting for the update. I know 4 days must have felt like forever.**

**noodles307- Read the reviews..You weren't the only one who cried/almost cried. **

**A Mind That Sits Still- I have no intentions of killing Raife. Now Christine for that matter...she's expendable. ;)**

**The Queen- Read above..^^^**

**lisarichie- Thanks again. You don't know how good it feels to hear that :)**

**drummergirl244- Thanks..my awesomeness is inspired by the reviews I get from you guys :)**

**sweaterbandit- Thank you and thank you :)**

**momo0424- Yes..they have both made a lot of progress. Not quite there yet but getting closer. :)**

**bobo02- Thanks. I think a lot of readers were happy with Spencer's apology. Although she had her reasons she was pretty harsh at times. And Ashley is definetly beginning to see Spencer's true feelings :)**

**tbplrbear1- Yes, graduation can't come fast enough. I am not giving anything away but even after graduation there may be some twists and turns..more angst.**

**naranga87- I am sorry I didn't mean to break your heart or confuse you. Lol. There's a special something something just for you in the first paragraph. I am sure you will enjoy it... or maybe not. lol. Thanks for the review my cheeky lady friend/#1 Fan :0)**

**mirrornvrlies- Glad you liked it :)**

**hollymarie4- Thank you. Reviews like yours make me smile and inspire me :)**

**Thanks again to everyone else who reviewed. I truly do appreciate it.**

**Here ya go. Hope I don't disappoint.**

_I own nothing but my imagination. Yadayadayada_

I woke up Friday morning to a 5 star breakfast. My dad was an amazing cook. Pancakes, waffles, bacon, sausage, hash browns and my personal favorite…biscuits and gravy. Now as you know I am not a big breakfast person. I'm not a breakfast person at all. The look on my dad's face when he set the plate or should I say plates in front of me was so sweet I had no choice. I ate nearly everything with a smile, said goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and wobbled my way to my car. On the way to school I stopped at the corner market to pick up an apple for my favorite teacher. This time I just bought a whole damn bushel. I passed on Timmy's this morning I couldn't possibly fit another thing in my stomach and was still feeling a bit sick after eating so much. I pulled into the parking lot and noticed Spencer's car immediately. I couldn't help but smile. My thoughts went back to that kiss I snuck. It was perfect and this time she wasn't pissed. Surprised but not pissed.

I sat in my car absentmindedly running my fingers over my lips. I was so lost in thoughts of Spencer's mouth on mine I forgot to put my car in park and started to move forward. I nearly ran into the car in front of me.

"Shit" I shout at myself.

I put my car in reverse and then finally in park. I walk into the nearly vacant school and head straight to class. I peak into the classroom before I go in. She is writing on the chalk board. I take a minute to take in her beauty. Her hair is down with some curls. She is wearing a white elbow length top with a black vest and black dress pants. She's got on black heels. The real pointy ones that could totally be used to murder someone. She looks all sorts of yummy. I find myself licking my lips as I shamelessly undress her with my hungry eyes. She must sense my staring because she looks my way and I am caught.

Her eyes told me I was in trouble. Her smile told me it was a good trouble.

"Miss Davies? Come on in and take a seat." She points to the chair at the front of the class.

"I think this is going to be your seat for the rest of the school year." Promise?

Like I said it was a "good" trouble.

"I think that I am perfectly okay with that Mrs. Dennison." I smirk.

"So do you always sneak around and spy on your teachers?" She asks as she leans on the front of her desk.

"Uh..I wouldn't necessarily call it spying."

"What would you call it?"

"I think it would be inappropriate to answer that question Mrs. Dennison." I purse my lips and raise my eyebrows.

"Hasn't stopped you before Miss Davies." Yeah yeah.

"That was before. I am a new me and I am all about appropriatism now."

"You know that's not a word right?" She laughs.

"It could be..ya know bling is in the dictionary now ."

"Very true. So what are you doing here so early?"

"I wanted to come talk to my favorite teacher before class started."

"What did you want to talk about?" She bit down on her bottom lip.

"Nothing in particular I just wanted to talk to you."

"Did you talk with your Dad yet?" She asks and then hops up onto her desk.

"Yeah I did. It was a good talk. We were up til at least 1. I couldn't go to bed without talking to him. It felt good to finally get answers and to get all of those emotions out."

"I'm glad. Your Dad's a pretty cool guy."

"Yes he is. Where do you think I get my coolness from?" I give her a goofy smile.

"What's your favorite color Teach?" I ask out of the blue.

"Red..why?" She asks.

"Well it seems that you know a lot about me and I know next to nothing about you. So whenever I get a chance I am just going to ask you random questions. Is that okay?" I want to know everything about her.

"Of course it's okay. But I get to ask questions too. Okay?"

"Alright. Sounds good."

"So what's _your_ favorite color?"

"Well it used to be black."

"Used to be?"

"Yep. About a month ago I found my new favorite color."

"Oh yeah? Well what's your new favorite color?"

I look into the beautiful eyes that are looking back at me with just as much intensity.

"Blue." Is all I say. She blushes.

I was about to say something that I shouldn't ..like how beautiful she is, when a few students walked into the classroom. Luckily they were chatting amongst themselves and didn't see the pink cheeks that belonged to our teacher.

She turned around and walked back to the board but not before looking back at me and smiling. This smile was different than any smile I had ever seen play on her lips. I'm pretty sure this smile said that she was as infatuated with me as I was with her. Score one for the new Ashley.

Madi came in a few minutes before the bell and looked at me in my new seat questioningly? I just shrugged.

The bell rang and in came a late Cassandra Wheatley. Apparently I was in her seat.

"Um..You're in my seat." She says nervously.

"It's not your seat anymore. Teacher's orders. You can have mine. Back there next to the hot Spanish chick." I use my thumb to point behind me.

She heads to the back and Spencer starts to address the class.

My eyes never leave her as she walks around the class. When she walks passed me she smirks. I wonder if she can tell how much I want to kiss her right now.

We are still studying Poe and I have actually taken a liking to the lunatic. Even though the guy was obviously a little off his rocker he was also a bit of a hopeless romantic. Today we are finishing up the poem Annabel Lee.

"So Poe falls in love with this woman who in the poem he calls Annabel Lee. They are young but have such a powerful and intense love. So intense that he believed even the angels in heaven were jealous of them. _But we loved with a love that was more than love-I and my Annabel Lee; With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven. Coveted her and me._

And he believed that they angels were the reason she had become ill. _And this was the reason that, long ago, In this kingdom by the sea, A wind blew out of a cloud, chilling , My beautiful Annabel Lee;_

And he believed that the angels were so jealous that they took her life_. The angels, not half so happy in heaven, Went envying her and me-Yes!- that was the reason (as all men know, In this kingdom by the sea)That the wind came out of the cloud by night, Chilling and killing my Annabel Lee._

"So that leads us to the next part. Who would like to read the next stanza?"

A few students raised their hands and surprisingly even to myself my hand was amongst them. Spencer smiled and called my name. Of course she did. She can't resist hearing my voice.

"_But our love it was stronger by far than the love._

_Of those who were older than we-_

_Of many far wiser than we-_

_And neither the angels in heaven above,_

_Nor the demons down under the sea,_

_Can ever dissever my soul from the soul_

_Of the beautiful Annabel Lee_."

She is leaning on her desk again. With her sexy specs on and her arms crossed over her chest.

"And what exactly is it you think he is saying?" she asks.

"I think he is saying that their love was so strong that neither the angels nor the demons could ever separate them ..their souls would forever be as one."

Her eyes are fixed on mine and they are telling me something I don't quite understand. I am pretty sure though that she is surprised at my explanation.

"I am almost certain that, that is exactly what Poe was saying. Very good Miss Davies." She says and then walks back to her desk and sits down.

"Who wants to read the next stanza?" She asks the class.

I am off in my own world now. I can't hear anything. I can't hear the student reciting the poem. I can only see her. I see her taking my hand and walking along the beach with me. I see her caressing my face and kissing me softly. I see her holding me in her arms while I read poetry to her. I can totally see her being my Annabel Lee. The "love so strong and intense the angels were jealous" part. Not the "chilling and killing" part. Oh God. I am really in deep here. I've got it bad.

Before I know it the bell is ringing and everyone is getting up out of their seats. Madi nudges me and says she'll see me at lunch. Everyone is out of the classroom and I am still sitting at my desk.

"First here, last to leave. If you're not careful I may start to think you've got a thing for your teacher." She says still seated at her desk and leaning back in her chair.

"You wouldn't be wrong." I say seriously. She looks down and starts writing all the while a smile playing on her lips.

"But actually I am still here because I am dreading going to second period. That crazy lady has it in for me." I laugh.

"She doesn't have it in for you Ashley. She's just trying to challenge you." Yeah okay.

"If you say so. I guess I should get going. I don't want to give her any more reasons to "challenge" me." I use the air quotes. The bitch hates me and I don't really like her either.

"Okay. I'll see you later Ashley." She says not bothering to look up from whatever it is she is writing.

I get up out of my seat and walk over to the side of her desk.

"Spence?" She looks up instantly. I knew that would get her attention.

There's those beautiful eyes. "I'll see you tomorrow right?"

"Of course. I'll call in the morning with details."

"Cool. Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

I make my way out to the hallway and remembered something. I walked back to the class as the one minute warning bell rang. When I walked back into the classroom she had her head in her hands. She didn't hear me come in. I didn't know what to think or do for that matter. I quietly cleared my throat and she looked up. Thank God she wasn't crying.

"Um..Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm fine Ashley. Just tired." She lied. I had a good feeling it was more than that.

"Okay. Well I just forgot to give you this." I hand her a Granny Smith apple.

"For my favorite teacher." She looked at the apple, then to me and smiled.

"Thank you." I nod and walk back towards the door.

"Miss Davies?" I stop just before the door and turn around.

"Yeah?"

"What kind of apples do you like?" Wow. Now she's asking the random questions.

"The kind that come in the form of a computer." I answer and she laughs.

"Not a big fan of fruit?"

"No I like fruit. I prefer oranges and strawberries."

"Good to know." Is all she says.

The tardy bell rings and I sigh. Shit!

She doesn't say anything she just walks over to me and hands me a tardy slip.

"Have a good day Ashley." I instantly feel the tension as our fingers graze each other's.

"You too Teach." I reply. I turn around and walk out the door quickly. I was so close to doing something inappropriate. Nooooo! Not me! I say to myself sarcastically.

The rest of the day went by slowly. I noticed Casey still wasn't in school so I texted her between 2nd and 3rd period.

_Please call me Case. I need 2 kno that u r alright._

I got a text during 4th period.

_I'm ok Ash. Need time. Please understand that._

I went to lunch still upset. I know she needed time. But the selfish part of me didn't want to give her time. I wanted to go over to her house and hug her and tell her I missed her. The old Ashley probably would have did that. The old Ashley probably would have given her what she wanted in the pool that night.

The new Ashley was going to give her what she needed. Time. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how much I missed her.

I still couldn't eat so I didn't bother to go to the cafeteria. I just walked right to the quad.

Miranda was sitting with Chelsea. No doubt talking art. Madi was sitting with Kyla and when I joined them they both looked at me guilty. Almost as if they were just talking about me.

"Hey Ash. We were just talking about you." Dur!

"What did I do now to become the topic of conversation?"

"I don't know you tell us. Where's Casey?" My bitch of a cousin Kyla says.

"None of your business Kyla. Don't you have something more interesting to talk about? Like I don't know…what you're gonna wear to prom." Prom for an All-Girls private school is a joke. We meet up at a neutral location with Boy's private school. So unless you already have a date you kind of have to meet one when you get there. Like I said…Joke. Kyla was head of the prom committee and she took it very seriously.

"Actually I already have a prom dress. And a date." She says with a cocky smile. Good for you.

"Gee. You should probably give me that pizza then. You could gain like 5 lbs. by the time prom rolls around. Wouldn't want you to pop a button on that dress of yours." Harsh but she pissed me off.

"Whatever." Wow. Great comeback. She's not very witty. She is after all family from my mother's side.

She gets up and walks out of the quad but not before dumping her pizza in to the garbage. I laugh.

Madi scooted over closer to me.

"Where's Casey?" She asked. Her eyes full of concern.

"What did you hear?"

"Not a lot. Just rumors. She's in a gay detox camp. She's knocked up. Don't really understand that one." She laughs. "There is even this one rumor that she confessed her love for you and you broke her heart." She said sadly.

"She's not feeling well. Just leave it at that." I say and then get up to leave.

She pulls me back down.

"Ash? It's true isn't it?"

"Yep. She got knocked up by her lesbian girlfriend."

She laughs and then gives me a comforting smile. A smile that lets me know I can tell her anything.

"She told me she was in love with me. I don't feel the same. I mean I love her but I'm not in love with her. I can't be with her like that. I care for her too much." I begged my tears to stay behind my eyes.

"She won't talk to me. She says she needs time. I miss her Madi. I miss her so much. But I understand. She is hurting. She is hurting because of me and I can't do anything to make it better." She reaches for my hand and squeezes it.

"Things will never be the same between us. It sucks."

"No they won't. But in time you guys will work it out."

Miranda has made her way over to me. She sees that I am upset and is immediately at my side.

"I'm okay Miranda. It's just that Casey still won't talk to me. And somehow the whole school knows what happened."

"Actually I heard she got knocked up." Miranda says while giggling.

"I heard her parents shipped her off to live with her grandparents." Chelsea added.

They all did their best to make me feel better and it worked. That is until I saw Carmen Vasquez walking towards me. Miranda and I were at our lockers and I saw Miranda tense up at the site of the bitch.

"So Davies. I heard you knocked up Casey. I always thought you were really a guy." She smirked. The fucking bitch smirked.

"Shut it Vasquez. Or I'll break your nose again." My fist was already ready and waiting.

"Try it Davies. I got back up today." She motions towards her army of twits.

"Wow. Am I supposed to be scared?" I look passed her towards her little posse and give her a "are you serious?" look.

"Better than what you got. Little Miss "I'm a mute" behind you looks like she's about ready to scamper off." She laughs.

"Why don't you keep this between you and me Vasquez. Leave her and your little friends out of this. We will settle this woman to ….skank."

"Funny.. Ash." I raise my hand up ready to punch her when I feel my arm being held back.

"She's not worth it Ashley. Let's just go." Miranda says calmly.

"Oh so the mute does talk. Excuse me?" Miranda looks at her fearfully.

"Excuse me but why don't you speak? Do you have a speech impediment or something?" That bitch is two seconds from her second broken nose in a matter of weeks.

"Excuse me but why _do_ you speak? All that comes out of your filthy mouth is garbage. You never have anything nice to say and your looks don't exactly make up for your rudeness." Damn. Go Miranda. I think I am starting to rub off on her.

"Who the hell do you think you are little girl? You find your voice for once and you are going to put me down. Do you realize how bad you look hanging out with this dyke? Unless you want to be known as the dyke-loving mute you best find some new friends and watch what you fucking say."

Carmen is now up in Miranda's face and I try to get in the middle but Miranda pushes me back.

"I don't care how you or anyone else sees me. I don't care what you or anyone else thinks. I care about what Ashley thinks. I care about how she feels. I will not stop hanging out with her and I will not watch what I say. I'm not going to let you bully me anymore. So run along." This is too funny.

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you when your skank of a friend here tries to feel you up in a stranger's pool. Ashley's a slut. Always has been always will be. A slutty dyke."

"Shut up and leave." Miranda demands.

"Or what? You don't scare me little girl. What are you going to do? You gonna let Ashley go so she can hit me again?" Carmen is up in her face again.

"I don't need Ashley for that. I'll do it myself if you don't get out of my face."

Carmen smirks. "Do it then."

SMASH#%^&

"FUCK!"

Miranda swung and came in contact with Carmen's nose. She fell to the floor clutching her bleeding nose once again. I couldn't hold in my laughter. Miranda was holding her hand and smiling. Even while we sat in Mr. Goodman's office she held that smile.

"Miss Davies please tell me that you are not the reason Carmen Vasquez is bleeding all over the nurses' room floor again." Mr. Goodman says as he walks into his office.

"She got what she deserved….again." Damn straight!

"Miss Davies I told you last time that I will not condone violence in my school. If Miss Vasquez was bothering you, you should have told a teacher or myself."

I told Miranda once we got into the office to let me handle Mr. Goodman. I didn't want her to get in trouble. I would take the heat since I knew Mr. Goodman wouldn't suspend me.

"What am I going to do with you?" He rubbed his temples.

"And Miss Dennison what part do you have in this? If you are here to defend your friend here again don't bother."

She was about to saying something when I shushed her.

"Miss Davies I have no other choice but to suspend you. All though I know how much you like to skip school I feel there is no other option here. Miss Vasquez's mother was pretty upset with me last time I didn't suspend you. I would hate for her to take this matter to my boss's. You understand?"

"Sure. Whatever."

"NO!" Miranda shouts. Shit!

"Miranda don't. Let's go." I stand up and try to pull her out the door.

"I can't Ashley. I can't let you take the blame. Sorry." She says and then turns to Mr. Goodman.

"Ashley didn't hit Carmen this time. It was me. I did it. I hit her. Like Ashley said, she deserved it." Miranda stood proudly.

"Miss Dennison you don't have to lie for Miss Davies. I am sure she appreciates you trying to take the blame but that will do her no good."

"I'm not lying. It was me. Ask Carmen. Look at my knuckles." She sticks her arm out towards him and shows him her hand.

"It was me."

"Miss Davies go to class. Miranda sit down." He ordered.

I can't believe she did that. I told her not to. Now she is going to get in trouble. It was my fault I should have just walked away when she told me too. Fucking Carmen Vasquez.

I went to class and afterwards headed to my locker. I opened it and a note fell out.

_Ash,_

_Got suspended. Can you believe that? _

_It was sooo worth it though. Thanks _

_for trying to take the blame._

_Love Ya,_

_Miranda_

Damn it. I couldn't help but think maybe I was a bad influence for Miranda. But I quickly shook away that thought. She stood up for herself and me. Carmen practically told her to do it. And she did. I was so proud of my new BFF. I wanted to get her a present to tell her just how proud.

I got out of school and called my dad. I told him I was going to Miranda's but would be home for dinner. Then I texted Miranda.

_Are u alone? Would it be okay if I came over there?- A._

Seconds later she texted back.

_Yeah. Spencer is still at the University. She won't be home til around 6._

_Come on over. And bring goodies.-M_

Goodies?

_Goodies? I'm coming. Isn't that enough?-A_

_I thought I already told u I don't play for ur team. –M_

_Lol ..ur loss. Anyway what kind of goodies do u want? –A_

_Surprise me. –M_

_Gotcha. See ya in a few. –A_

_Can't wait. –M_

I hit the corner store and left with $54.67 less in my wallet. I parked in front of Miranda's house and grabbed the bags of goodies. She saw me pull up and walked out to greet me.

"What did you buy the whole store?" She laughed.

"You said surprise you. I didn't know what you liked so I bought one of everything and a couple bottles of Coke. I know you like Coke. I do too. One of the very few things we actually have in common." She smiled and grabbed a few bags from me.

"I can think of one more thing we have in common." She says while opening the door.

"And what is that?"

She shakes her fist at me.

"A killer right hook."

We both laughed .

"That we do. I wish I could say I taught you everything you know. Who knew you had it in you?" I follow her to the kitchen and set the bags down on the counter.

I take in my surroundings.

It's a cute little home. A very modern style look to it. Spencer does have extraordinary taste. The house it spotless and I am sure they don't have a maid.

"Do you want a tour?"

"Sure."

"Well this is the kitchen. Hence the tall metal thing that keeps things cold and the big box that creates fire." She looks with a big goofy grin and I just laugh.

We walk into the living room and she points out their collection of dvd's. Very impressive but not even close to as impressive as mine.

She takes me down the hallway and stops at a door on the right. It is open and has stairs that lead to an upstairs room.

"That's Spencer's room. We're not going up there even though I have a feeling you want to." She giggles.

"What exactly does that mean?"

"I know you still have a crush on her. I'm not blind."

"You got me. But it's not like I am going to go up there and rummage through her underwear drawer." She laughs again. "At least not while you're with me."

She slugs me in the arm and I fake being hurt.

"Easy there. Where did this violent version of you come from? Geez."

"Whatever. And I didn't even hit you that hard you big baby. I don't even have any muscles ...see." She raises her sleeve and flexes her arm.

"Yeah..tell that to Carmen." I say and she snickers.

"C'mon."

"So this is the bathroom and that room over there is the office."

She pulls me to the last room. Her room.

"And this is my room. Don't get all jealous on me." She jokes.

I take it in. It has light gray walls and gray carpet. There is a full size bed off to the side with a dark purple comforter atop of it. She has a desk, a bookshelf and one dresser. On the one wall are various pictures. At least 20 of them. Pictures of family. Pictures of her mom and dad. Pictures of her and her brother. Pictures of her brother and Spencer. Pictures of her and Spencer.

"This is my favorite." She points to one of her whole family. They are all sitting on a couch. It looks like they were posing for a picture but they are all laughing. Miranda is in the middle and her brother has her tight in his arms. Spencer is next to him and her parents on each side.

"I can see why. You all look so happy." I trace their faces with my finger.

"We were." She turns around and walks over to her bed and sits down.

"I miss them. Every day I miss them." She says with her head down.

I walk over and sit down next to her. I pull her into my arms.

"I'm sure they miss you too." I kiss the top of her head.

"I'm so lucky to have Spencer. She's like my mom, my sister and my friend. I don't know what I would do without her."

"She's lucky too ya know. To have you. So am I. I needed someone like you in my life Miranda. I don't know what I would do without you now."

"I feel the same about you Ash. You're my best friend. I'm so glad you're in my life. Now let's go dig into those goodies." She gets up and yanks me off of the bed.

We went to the kitchen and sorted through all the goodies. Then made our way to the couch and turned on a movie.

"So does Spencer know yet?" I asked while scarfing down my third Twinkie and washing it down with some Coke.

"Yeah. I called her when I left school. She was happy that I finally stuck up for myself but she wasn't happy with the suspension. She said she was going to call Mr. Goodman."

"Well the last time she talked to Mr. Goodman she got my suspension revoked so maybe she can get yours revoked too."

"I don't really mind. Gives me a couple days to lounge around and be lazy."

The movie was almost over when Spencer walked in. She dropped her purse and briefcase on the floor next to the door and looked up at me surprised.

"Hi girls." Hi future wife.

"Hey Spence." She smiled at me as she sifted through the mail.

"I didn't realize how late it is. I'm surprised my dad didn't call. Dinner is at 6:30. So..I'm going to get going." I get up and grab all of my Twinkie wrappers and my empty coke. I walk passed Spencer to the kitchen. I toss out my garbage and then turn around and walk right into Spencer. We are inches apart and I instantly without thinking grab her hips. My mouth is so close to hers.

"Ash c'mon I'll walk you out." Miranda yells from the front door.

I lean forward and kiss Spencer on the cheek and then reluctantly let go of her and walk out of the kitchen before I do something I shouldn't.

Dinner was great. My dad is such an amazing cook. I wonder if I could talk him into quitting the Rock star life and becoming a chef. Doubt it. I left the table with the button on my jeans undid. Man my dad wasn't even here 24 hours and I already felt like I gained 20 lbs. We can't have that. My rock hard abs are my best feature. So after my food fully digested and I could actually move I decided to go for a run. Something I hadn't did in months.

When I got back from my run I was drenched in sweat and exhausted. I needed to get my ass back in shape. I ran upstairs and took a shower and then grabbed my guitar. My dad had made me promise I would play something for him tonight.

I walked downstairs and right to the music room. He was sitting in there writing something. That's my dad. He never stops. Music is literally his life.

"Hey Princess. You ready to play me something?" He puts his pen down and spins his chair towards me.

"Yeah. You want something fast or slow? Happy or sad? Although most of my songs are sad so that may be tough." I sit down on a stool in front of him with my guitar in my lap.

"Whatever you want Princess. How about something neutral?" He leans back in his chair and crosses his legs.

"Okay. I have something." I tune my guitar and strum a few times. Then I clear my throat.

_Hmmmmmm_

_Ooooooooh_

_Sometimes I sit and I wonder_

_And I just can't seem to believe_

_What a blessing it's been to be loved_

_You're an angel sent to me_

_You're the star who lights up my sky_

_You're the one who made me see_

_That you don't need wings to fly_

_Your love has set me free_

_Cause you are the one who makes me whole_

_In my heart and in my soul_

_And just like the sun you showed me the light_

_I'm amazed and you're the reason why_

_Before you I was so blind_

_I didn't know which path to choose_

_You poured all of this love in my heart_

_And now there's no way that I can lose_

_And when I have no faith in myself_

_You're the one who makes me strong_

_I wouldn't have a story to tell_

_Or an ending to my song_

_Cause you are the one who makes me whole_

_In my heart and in my soul_

_And just like the sun you showed me the light_

_I'm amazed and you're the reason why_

_Oooohh you're the reason why_

_Oh ooooooooh_

_You are the one who makes me whole_

_In my heart and in my soul_

_Just like the sun you showed me the light_

_I'm amazed and you're the reason why_

_Hmmmmmmmm _

_Ooooooh_

"Wow Ashley. I don't have any words except Beautiful." He wipes his tears and walks over to me. He takes the guitar out of my hands and set it on the ground and then pulls me up into a hug.

"I can't breathe Dad." I laugh.

"Sorry Princess. You just don't know how proud I am. How happy I am. You are truly talented Ash. More talented than me."

"Thanks Dad. I don't know about me being more talented than you but thanks anyway."

"So have you sung that song to her?" He asks while he sits back down in his chair.

"To who?" I ask. I already know the answer.

"Spencer." He smirks.

"No Dad. I can't. It's a little too deep."

"It's beautiful and she should be the one to hear it. Not me."

"I can't Dad. I have all these songs written about her..for her. But how can I sing them to her? I can't. There's nothing going on between us."

"Please Ash. I have only been here for a day and I could see it. You care for her and she obviously cares for you. There _is_ something going on between you."

"Doesn't matter. It can't happen right now. She's my teacher. She could get into a lot of trouble. I don't want that." I look down at my hands.

"I've never been in love Dad. But the moment it happened I knew. I want her. I need her. Only her. And for once it's not about sex. Just being in the same room with her makes me happy. I want to do everything with her. I want to know everything about her. She is so damn perfect. Perfect for me."

"Wow. My little girl is in love. I'm so happy for you Princess. Now you just have to be patient. Love is special and it's worth waiting for. And believe me Ash. She feels the same. She's gone out of her way to show you she feels the same. Open your eyes."

"Thanks Daddy. I love you." I sit on his lap and kiss him on the cheek.

"You're welcome Princess."

It's Saturday morning and I am at a construction site. Well it's not really a construction site but it looks like one. I was told to meet Spencer and the rest of the volunteers here. I am 10 minutes early. We are working with Habitat for Humanity again. I am looking at a half built house and the frame of a garage. As I sip on my cappuccino I see Spencer pull up. Miranda is not with her. Since it is a school program she couldn't come because of the suspension. I was bummed but at least the love of my life was here. She's wearing jeans and a tight green t-shirt and as always looks amazing. She spots me and walks over.

"Morning Ashley. You been here long?"

"No. Just got here. So what are we working on?" I figured I would get to the point. That way I wouldn't say something inappropriate with an audience.

"You are going to be working on the garage again. Since you did so well last time." She smiled. "You're going to be working with Christina and Brandy."

"Great. Sounds like fun." I say disappointed.

"Wow Ash. Try and contain your excitement will ya." She said Ash. I didn't miss that. She didn't either. She blushed and looked away.

"Sorry Spence. I just don't think those two like me very much. They're always giving me dirty looks. I don't want to have to punch one of them square in their judging faces."

"I know you like challenges Ashley. Go over there and show them you don't care what they think. And you know they are just jealous right?" Of course they are.

"Jealous that I'm good with a hammer?" I wink.

"Exactly. Now get to work." But I don't wanna.

I walk away pouting while she laughs.

I turn around before I get too far and she is still staring at me. She was caught and she blushed again. She was totally checking out my ass.

"So Spence, where are you from originally?"

"Another random question I assume."

"Yep."

"I was born and raised in Michigan. Came to L.A. after I graduated college."

"Good to know." Is all I say.

The day went by fast thankfully. I stayed as far away as possible from the twit twins. They giggled away while I put up almost a whole wall by myself. Why is Spencer punishing me? Our lunch break wasn't the most fun either. We all sat together. Spencer at the other end of the table next to Greg. He flirted with her the entire half hour. She looked down at me a couple times and even mouthed 'sorry' to me. I couldn't wait to get this day over with and head to Pure for my birthday party a.k.a Pure's re-opening party.

I went back to the garage. The roof was partially up and one and a half walls. I look over to the house and wish I was in there with Spencer. It had started to rain which was very strange. Twice this month now. I stood in it for a few seconds letting it cool me down. Christina and Brandy both scurried back to their cars along with everyone else who was outside. Spencer was still in the house so I figured I would keep working. I was on the side with the roof so I was keeping dry. After about ten minutes I am startled by a set of eyes on me. Spencer was watching me from just inside the garage. She had her head tilted with the most adorable smile on her face.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"You know everyone else has left right?" She crosses her arms over her chest.

"Really? Well I was dry so I just figured I would keep working. At least until you left. Are you leaving?"

"I was about to when I noticed your car was still here."

"So everyone is gone?"

"Yep. Just you and me here."

I walked over to her and grabbed her hands that were wrapped around herself. I pulled her to the other side of the garage and into the rain.

"What are you doing Ashley?" She tries to get out of my grip.

I pull her back and into me.

"Dance with me." I say inches from her face.

"What?" She thinks I'm crazy.

"Dance..with…me." I pull her hand up to my lips and kiss it.

"You're crazy. It's raining if you haven't noticed."

"I've noticed." I tilt my head back and let the rain hit my face.

When I look back at her she is looking at me. Her breathtakingly beautiful, blue eyes boring right into me.

"Please dance with me." I'm not too proud to beg.

"Okay." She nods. "But only because it's your birthday." She didn't forget.

"I thought you had forgotten." I admitted.

"I didn't forget. I was just waiting for the perfect moment to say Happy Birthday."

"So are you going to say it?"

"No. Not yet."

"Just so I am clear, you _don't_ think this moment is perfect?"

"No. But it's pretty damn close." She puts her arms around my neck. "Are you going to lead or do I have to?"

"No. I'll lead." I spin her around and she laughs.

"Now if we just had some music." She says.

"I can sing to you." She just nods.

We are dancing closely. Faces inches apart. She has her arms tight around my neck and I am holding her hips against mine.

I start off singing quietly..almost a whisper.

_When the rain is blowing in your face_

_And the whole world is on your case_

_I would offer you a warm embrace_

_To make you feel my love_

She had her head tilted and was smiling at me. Her eyes filled with something I had for so long , longed to see. Love. I may be new at this love thing but I am not blind. We swayed back and forth. I continued.

_When the evening shadows and the stars appear_

_And there is no one there to dry your tears_

_I could hold you for a million years_

_To make you feel my love_

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet_

_But I would never do you wrong_

_I've known it from the moment that we met_

_No doubt in my mind where you belong_

She moved in closer and her head now was in the crook of my neck. There go the butterflies again. My insides were all a flutter. My body felt so warm. She felt so good in my arms.

_I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue_

_I'd go crawling down the avenue_

_There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do_

_To make you feel my love_

_The storms are raging on a rolling sea_

_And down the highway of regret_

_The winds of change are blowing wild and free_

_But you ain't seen nothin' like me yet_

Nothing had prepared me the feeling I was feeling. My stomach was a mess. I was so overwhelmed with the love I felt for this woman. The rain had started to pick up and she lifted her head off of my shoulder and up to the sky. The rain fell onto her face and she took it in. I wiped the rain off of her face with my thumbs and let my fingers linger on her face.

_I could make you happy, make your dreams come true_

_Nothing that I wouldn't do_

_Go to the ends of the earth for you_

_To make you feel my love_

I am shaking and it's not because I am cold from the rain. I am shaking because this moment has been so far the best in my life. Nothing could feel more real, more precious, more perfect than this moment. She puts her hand over my hand that is still on her face and closes her eyes. A tear drops from my eye but the rain is covering for me. At least I thought it did. She noticed and wiped it from my face. Then she leaned in and kissed where the tear had landed. She cupped my face and looked at my lips before moving in.

Her lips touched mine and I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. Her warm perfect lips were moving with mine and for a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. And that would be fine with me. I was in love. I knew she was in love with me. I had the most perfect kiss I could have ever dreamed of. I could die now. I was happy.

She pulled away from me and then leaned in again and kissed me gently.

"Happy Birthday Ashley."

**Reviews please :)**

**Songs**

_**You are the one- Elliot Yamin**_

_**To make you feel my love- Billy Joel, Garth Brooks and my favorite version is from Adele.**_


	21. Chapter 21 Happy Bday 2 me or maybe not

_**Again Thank You for the reviews. They always make me smile like an idiot.**_

_**bobo02**_- You may be on to something.

_**dazedlvr07**_- You're welcome and yes Raife does love Ashley. Just doesn't always show it.

_**hollymarie4**_- Lol sorry if I made you hungry. I decided on the random question thing because we really don't know a lot about Spencer so I am glad you are enjoying it. Ashley was always cocky and now that she has Spence wanting her she has a even bigger reason to be. I'm sorry to say (for you) but Casey isn't out of the picture for good...but no worries. She will not get in between our Spashley :) Finger Babies..lol. I don't think that the moment was ready for Sexy Time so yes I went in the other direction. Remember Ashley is in loooove with Spencer and she is trying to get Spencer to fall for her. I totally did. I wish someone would ask me to dance in the rain and then sing to me. lol

_**lisarichie**_- You read right..Biscuits and Gravy. In the U.S. biscuits are like a breakfast roll/bread and the gravy is delish. They mesh together very well. The biscuits and gravy part was put in for the lovely Naranga87. She is from the U.K. and thinks biscuits and gravy sounds disgusting. She is wrong;)They are really good. Trust me .lol

_**noodles307**_- Definetly can't go wrong with kissing in the rain. Yes cocky Ashley is great. Now she has an even bigger reason to be. Glad you like the random questions part. Let's us get to know Spencer. Thanks for the salute..and the review :)

_**CoolGay-**_ Thanks . I appreciate your words.

_**victorial117**_- Thanks :)

_**FFReviews**_- I know what you mean. One chapter is never enough. Sorry. lol. I read FF's too and hate having to wait for the next updates. That's why I try to update as often as possible. You are absolutely right. Spencer is still her teacher and although you wouldn't get arrested she could still lose her job/jobs. Thanks for the reviews :)

_**momo0424**_- I would totally love for him to cook for me like that. I would probably be 400 lbs though. lol. You would be one of the few who feel bad for Casey. She is heartbroken but she will be back eventually. Yes! Go Miranda. Carmen's nose has to look pretty messed up by now. lol. Glad you liked the dancing scene. Thanks for the review :)

_**Charlee**_- Thank you. Glad you liked the chapter. I just have more thing to say "Steven Tyler p.j.'s, Steven Tyler p.j.'s" Man I love that movie :)

_**naranga87-**_ Hate to tell you this Hun but you are always goofy ;) So pleased that I could "blow your mind" :) And biscuits and gravy are not gross. *sticks tongue out*

_**Lolo06-**_ Thank you..hope you enjoy the party.

_**A Mind That Sits Still**_- Spencer is definetly going to lose it..in a good way but not all of the way. At least not yet. Miranda's confidence has a lot to do with Ashley's confience in her. Raife and Spencer will both deal with Christine :) I promise you that Casey will be back. I am not saying much...just that she WON'T get in between Spashley. Thanks again for the review. :)

_**FriendlyGirl333**_- Thank you so much. As a fellow writer you know what it takes to write a story so your comments mean a lot to me. Glad you are enjoying it. I wanted to take the Spashley Teacher/Student relationship story to a whole different level. It's working out pretty well so far. I think I will cry when I end this story. Lol. Thanks again :)

_**Thanks again for the reviews guys. They truly are inspirational.**_

_I own nothing but my crazy imagination._

...

_Her lips touched mine and I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. Her warm perfect lips were moving with mine and for a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. And that would be fine with me. I was in love. I knew she was in love with me. I had the most perfect kiss I could have ever dreamed of. I could die now. I was happy._

_She pulled away from me and then leaned in again and kissed me gently._

_"Happy Birthday Ashley."_

...

She smiled and then laid another warm and tender kiss on my lips. Every bit of me wanted to pull her into me and kiss her hard but I held back ..Somehow. I was thrilled as it was that she was actually initiating the kisses. She pulled back and rubbed my bottom lip with her thumb almost as if she was rubbing her lipstick off of it.

"We should get going. You have a party to get ready for." She says. She pulls me by my hand out of the garage. The rain has slowed to a light drizzle.

I stop abruptly and she flies back towards me. I have her in my arms again. Right where she belongs. She doesn't say anything. She just looks at me intensely with her blue eyes a little darker than normal.

"You are going to be there, right?" I ask in a serious tone.

"I want to but I don't think that I should." She admits with a frown.

"Spence you have to come. It's my birthday. Please tell me you will be there."

"Ashley …I don't know."

"C'mon Spence. You can bring some friends if you want. You can completely ignore me if you want. Just please promise you will come." I was begging now.

"You know I can't just ignore you Ashley. I tried that already." Didn't really work for either of us.

"Look Spencer I'm not asking you to come there and hold my hand. I just want you there. I want to look out into the crowd and see you're smiling face. I'll even sing you a song or two." I gave her a cheesy grin.

"You'll even sing me a song or two? Should I be worried?" She asked.

"Not at all. I promise I won't serenade you. Unless you want me to." I wink.

"I think you know the answer to that."

"Of course. Okay so you are coming and you are bringing Miranda." I demand.

She laughs. "We will be there. I have to make it up to you since I didn't get you a gift so I will bring Miranda."

"So you are bringing Miranda as my gift?" I laugh.

"Yep. Is that okay with you? I could leave her at home."

"Uh no. That's fine. She wouldn't be my first choice as a gift ..But she'll do." I shrug.

"Good. We'll be there at 8."

"I will be waiting patiently." I lied.

I nod towards her car. "Let me walk you to your car."

"You don't have to do that Ash"

"I know. I want to." I grab her hand and start towards her car.

We stopped right next to her door and she looked back at me.

"Thank you Ashley. I thought the rain was going to ruin the day but it didn't. It made the day so much better." She blushed …again. I was beginning to love that shade of pink on her.

"You're welcome" I said as I lifted her hand and kissed the top of it. She tilted her head and smiled innocently.

"I'll see you in a few hours." She said as she let go of my hand and lifted hers to caress my cheek. I leaned into her touch and closed my eyes. Suddenly I felt warmth on my lips and then it was gone. I opened my eyes quickly but she had already turned towards her door. I turned and walked towards my car. She waited for me to get in and then left.

When I got home I showered and got dressed. I dressed in my usual performance attire. Torn blue jeans with a black belt and a black tank top that didn't quite reach my belly button. I put my hair up this time and added some hoop earrings. I was ready but I was waiting on my dad. He took longer to get ready then me. I grabbed my phone and sent out a text.

_What's your favorite album of all time?-A_

_Aren't you supposed to be getting ready?-S_

_I am ready. Answer the question.-A_

_Can it be more than one?-S_

_Sure…they better be good though.-A_

_Rumours-Fleetwood Mac, Thriller- M.J. and Tapestry- Carole King-S_

_Wow Spence. All classics. Gotta say I definitely approve.-A_

_Glad you approve .What about you Princess? ;) -S_

_Hey watch it..only my dad can call me that.-A_

_Sorry. Answer the question -S_

_Yellow Submarine-The Beatles, Highway 61 Revisited-Bob Dylan and Hello Princess-Purple Venom -A_

_All Classics as well. The last one doesn't surprise me -S_

_He wrote that album just after I was born. It's close to my heart.-A_

_Seems like we both have very good taste in music Spence-A_

_Well if I remember correctly you did say we had that in common.-S_

_I remember. Gotta go Spence. See ya in a few.-A_

_Can't wait -S_

I had a smile on my face the entire conversation. Spencer had a way of doing that to me. When I thought of her or talked to her I always had this cheesy grin on my face. I'm surprised it hasn't scared her away.

My dad and I walked into the club a little before 7. I went right to the stage and started sound checking and writing out a playlist. The band showed up about 5 minutes later and we rehearsed a bit. A little after 7:30 people started pouring into the club. I was a little nervous. My dad, Spencer and Miranda all were all going to be here watching me. Not to mention I had some new songs I wanted to sing.

I look out to the crowd from the side of stage and found my father. He was sitting at a table up on the second floor. The second floor was strictly V.I.P. My dad didn't want to take any attention from me so he promised he would stay up there all night. I told him he didn't have to but he insisted. At the moment he was talking to one of the waitresses. Heather. Seeing them talk was pretty awkward. Awkward because I had sex with her in my dressing room a couple months back. I knew my dad wouldn't do anything with her. Okay.. I didn't know that. I hoped he wouldn't though. That would be just ewww!

My phone starts vibrating and I take a quick look. It's a text from Miranda.

_I know you said we were on the list but the bouncer Tim said he can't find our names.-M_

_That's strange. I'll come get you.-A_

_No don't. I know you are going on in a bit. Can you just have your dad call the guy.-M_

_Yeah. Gimme a minute.-A_

I gave my dad a call and asked him to take care of it. A couple minutes later he called and said everything was good. He told me good luck and that he was so proud of me. If felt so good to hear that.

I took a quick sip of water and straightened out my clothes as Johnny welcomed everyone to the re-opening. He announced my name and everyone applauded. I wished I wasn't so nervous. I walked up on stage and the first thing I saw shocked me, overwhelmed me, and touched me. Nearly hanging off of the rail on the second floor were my friends. Miranda, Chelsea and Madi. They were each holding a sign.

Miranda's said "_SURPRISE_!"

Chelsea's said "_Happy Birthday Ash_"

Madi's said "_We love U_".

I was definitely surprised. I was so happy and I felt so loved. My friends were truly the best. I smiled up at them, mouthed "_thank you_" and blew them a kiss.

Suddenly I wasn't so nervous anymore.

"Hey everyone. Thank you all for coming out."

_We love you Ash _was shouted from the second floor. Miranda. I chuckled.

_Happy Birthday you Sexy Thang_ ..That was Madi. These guys were too much.

"I am Ashley Davies and if you haven't heard ..It's my birthday." Everyone cheered.

"So thank you for sharing my birthday with me." I hold my hand to my heart to show my appreciation.

"Alright..Let's get this shit started." More cheers.

I started off with a few of my more upbeat songs to get the crowd dancing and then slowed it down a bit.

I had a few new songs I wanted to sing and I was getting nervous again. But from time to time I would look up to my friends and the beautiful blonde that was hiding out with my dad and all those nerves went out the window. She looked so beautiful tonight. She always did but tonight there was something about her. I couldn't quite describe it. She caught me staring and winked. I blushed. The things this woman did to me. Ashley Davies had never blushed until this woman came along. I didn't mind. She had my heart.

"I have a couple new songs I want to play for you. This one is called High Road. Hope you enjoy."

I walked over to my piano and sat down. I took a deep breath and flexed my fingers. I placed my fingers onto the keys and closed my eyes. It felt so natural..They started moving on their own.

….

_All I can say is things didn't go as I planned_

_Seems every day I'm learning is out of my hands_

_And coming to terms is harder than ever before_

_When you would give anything to know what all of this is for_

_Well there are things that I cannot change now_

_But these are strings that I will untangle_

_So gimme a high road to rise up and follow_

_I'll keep my eyes closed and breathe_

_And gimme a tightrope to walk from the highest peak_

_And I'll never look down at my feet_

_Somebody said if you can let down your pride_

_You won't be afraid; fear's not a safe place to hide_

_And I was convinced I'd never win your love, no_

_I didn't see all I really needed was my own_

_And there are things that I cannot explain now_

_But it's not too late and I am so thankful_

_And I got a high road to rise up and follow_

_I'll keep my eyes closed and breathe_

_And gimme a tightrope to walk from the highest peak_

_And I'll never look down at my feet_

_I've been down enough times to know it's no good_

_And I'm working overtime just thinking I should_

_I carry all of this weight around_

_I'm finding out that I never could_

_I never could_

_So gimme a high road to rise up and follow_

_I'll keep my eyes closed and breathe_

_And gimme a tightrope to walk from the highest peak_

_And I'll never look down at my feet_

_Never look down at my feet_

_Never look down at my feet_

_Ohhhhhhhh._

I opened my eyes and the first people I saw were the band..They were clapping and nodding. I didn't look anywhere else but the second floor. Miranda and Chelsea were holding each other and smiling at me. Madi was looking like proud mama bear. My dad was crying. Such a big sap and Spencer was even wiping her eyes. Geez..didn't know this song was such a downer. It was supposed to be inspirational.

I decided to change up the song lineup to liven the mood. I sang another upbeat song and then another new one. I went back to my piano. This time I looked up to Spencer. She was looking at me intently. I was looking at her like she was the only one in the room. I looked back at my piano. Here we go.

…

_Mmmm_

_Soft heavenly eyes gazed into me_

_Transcending space and time_

_And I was rendered still_

_There were no words for me to find at all_

_As I stood there beside myself_

_I could see you and no one else_

_When I saw you_

_When I saw you_

_I could not breathe, I fell so deep, ohh ohh_

_When I saw you_

_When I saw you_

_I'd never be, I'd never be the same_

I had never been so nervous to look at her.

_Na na na_

_Na na na_

_Ohh ohh ohh_

_Ooo ooh ooh_

_Ohh ohh only once in a lifetime love rushes in_

_Changin' you with a tide and dawn's ribbon of light_

_Bursts through the dark_

_Wakening you inside_

_And I thought it was all untrue_

_Until there, all at once, I knew_

_When I saw you_

_When I saw you_

_I could not breathe, I fell so deep, ohh ohh_

_When I saw you_

_When I saw you_

_I'd never be, I'd never be the same_

I wanted to see her reaction. I needed to see her reaction.

_With no beginning_

_And without an end_

_You are the one for me_

_And it's evident_

_And your eyes told me so, oh oh yea_

_Your eyes let me know, ohh ohh ohh_

_When I saw you_

_When I saw you_

_I could not breathe, I fell so deep, ohh ohh_

_When I saw you_

_When I saw you_

_I'd never be, I'd never be a same_

_Ohh no ohh ohh_

_I'd never be the same_

I never looked her way. I couldn't. I was so afraid of what I would see…or wouldn't see. She had to know the song was about her. I just hoped my other guests hadn't known. Which was another reason I couldn't look at her. I knew I wouldn't be able to hide it.

We took a quick break and got some water. We had two more songs. The last one was for Miranda but it was for Spencer too. Spencer had told me in her text what one of her favorite albums was Carole King's Tapestry. Carole King is a legend. And one of the best songwriters of all time. That's not just my opinion. That's a well-known fact people. And it just so happens that I was a big fan of hers as well.

We got back out on stage and sang one more song before the last of the night.

Once again I went back to my piano.

"Okay guys. This is the last of the night and I just want to thank you again for coming and … for not booing me off stage." I chuckle.

"This last song is one of my favorite songs and I would like to dedicate it to some of my favorite people." I look up to my friends who are all still hanging over the rail. They were totally my groupies.

"I love you guys. You mean the world to me." I smile and they all shout back their "I love you's."

My dad and Spencer have now joined them.

I take a chance and look right at her. She tilts her head and smiles. That damn head tilt. I smile back at her and then my fingers start pressing down on the keys. I don't need to look at them. I have played this song so many times I could lose my memory and my fingers would still find the keys.

Forget hiding it. I hold my gaze on her as I start singing.

_When you're down and troubled_

_And you need some loving care_

_And nothing, nothing is going right_

_Close your eyes and think of me_

_And soon I will be there_

_To brighten up even your darkest night_

She has the biggest grin on her face.

_You just call out my name_

_And you know wherever I am_

_I'll come running, to see you again_

_Winter, spring, summer or fall_

_All you have to do is call_

_And I'll be there_

_You've got a friend_

Miranda is looking at me with so much love and admiration I almost lose it. I am not used to feeling this loved. It almost hurts. I start getting choked up. She mouths "It's okay". I pull myself together.

_If the sky above you_

_Grows dark and full of clouds_

_And that old north wind begins to blow_

_Keep your head together_

_And call my name out loud_

_Soon you'll hear me knocking at your door _

_You just call out my name_

_And you know wherever I am_

_I'll come running yeah yeah yeah, to see you again_

_Winter, spring, summer or fall_

_All you have to do is call_

_And I'll be there, yes I will_

_Ain't it good to know that you've got a friend_

_When people can be so cold_

_They'll hurt you and desert you_

_And take your soul if you let them_

_Oh, but don't you let them_

Spencer wasn't smiling anymore but she wasn't upset. Just another look on her face I can't read. My dad had his arm around Spencer and she seemed very comfortable. Watch it dad. That's my woman.

_You just call out my name_

_And you know wherever I am_

_I'll come running, running, yeah yeah, to see you again_

_Winter, spring, summer or fall_

_All you have to do is call_

_And I'll be there, yes I will_

_You've got a friend_

You've got a friend

_Ain't it good to know_

_You've got a friend_

_Yeah Baby_

_You've got a friend_

Everyone is applauding very loudly. I wipe the loan tear that escaped from behind my eyes and stood up. I walked to the microphone.

"Thank you. Hope you guys enjoyed the show. I'll be back on Thursday if didn't get enough of me tonight. Thanks again."

I look up at my biggest fans.

"Thank you." I say to all of them.

I turn around and hop off the stage. I make my way to the dressing room. I am parched and a sweaty mess. When I get into the dressing room I head straight to the shower stripping my clothes off on the way.

…..

_**Spencer's P.O.V.**_

I can't believe she sang a song for me. It was obviously about me. Hopefully Miranda and the others didn't notice. She didn't look at me the entire song thankfully. That would have disastrous. I was a mess. Nobody has even sung a song for me. I was so touched and overwhelmed by the love she was giving me. I don't know how to handle it. Aiden loved me. I have no doubts about that. But I wasn't his world. Ashley had made me her world.

I knew it was wrong. At this point I didn't care. I was risking my job every time I saw her. Every time I kissed her. But now that I had, I knew I couldn't live without that feeling. The feeling of being loved. The feeling of her soft lips on mine. The feeling of her gentle but firm hands on my hips. The look in her eyes every time she looked at me. Yes, I was Ashley's world. And I didn't mind one bit.

She was up on that stage looking so confident, so beautiful, so…..SEXY. My God did she look HOT. Her tank was lifted slightly over belly button and you could see her toned abs. And that tattoo. I am not a fan of tattoos. Not at all. But if you could only see the sight before me you would instantly become a fan of Ashley's tattoo. It was so her. The musical notes were wrapped around her body. I wanted to run my fingers (and something else) along it. She was sweating and she even made that sexy. I felt so guilty. I was right next to her father and I was thinking of the things I wanted to do to her. I couldn't help it. I had never felt this much attraction to a man and certainly not a woman. I never thought I would want a woman in the way that I want her. She looked up at me and smiled and I was done for.

Then she started singing my favorite song. She knew I loved the album but she didn't know that was my favorite. I got chills when she started playing and when I heard her voice singing instead of Carole Kings, it felt weird but amazing at the same time. And even though this had been my favorite song since I was a little kid, I instantly loved Ashley's version better. Her voice was so beautiful and she really brought the song to life. I wanted to cry but I didn't want Miranda or the girls to see how much it had affected me. Raife knew. He looked at me and put his arm around me. I snuggled into him. I loved this guy. I was so glad that I called him. He really was an amazing father…when he was home. And I could see why Ashley looked up to him the way she did. He was a great guy and very caring. He had this way of making you feel special. Must be where Ashley got it from.

When she finished she thanked everyone and left the stage. I assume she was going to her dressing room.

"You okay Sweetheart?" Raife turned me around.

"Yeah. Just a little emotional if you couldn't tell." I laughed and so did he.

"Just a little." I noticed he had been crying. He was so proud of his daughter.

"She was really amazing. You must be very proud."

"You have no idea. That was my Princess down there. She was really something wasn't she?" He had a big grin on his face.

"Yeah. She was. She is." I looked away hoping he wouldn't see right through me.

The girls went back to the table and we joined them. They were all talking about Ashley and I am pretty sure she just gained herself some groupies.

"Oh crap. I forgot I was supposed to give this to Ash." He held up a small bag and then nudged me under the table. It took me a minute to register what he was doing. Then it clicked. I love this guy. Did I mention that before? Well I do.

"Oh..I'll go give it to her. I have to go use the restroom anyway so I can go drop it off." I tried to not sound so excited.

"There's a bathroom up here. But it's locked. You should get the key when you're down there too." Miranda motioned towards the steps where there was a bathroom.

"I'll call Johnny and see where that key is. And I'll call Mark to let him know you're coming to drop that off to Ash." He winked.

I made my way down the stairs. I was so nervous I was shaking and nearly fell off the last step. As I made my way down the hallway to her dressing room my head was filled with images. Images of her standing up on stage. Sexy and sweaty. I shook away the images as I came up to a very large man blocking the door to her dressing room. He was standing there with his arms crossed. No expression on his face.

"Hi. Um I came to drop this off to Ash." I held up the bag.

"Spencer?" He questioned.

"Yep." Is all I said.

He opened the door and I walked in. He shut it behind me. I didn't see her anywhere but I heard the shower going so I'm guessing she was in it. I see the clothes she was wearing in a trail that led to the bathroom. Then I started thinking of Ashley naked and I chickened out. I put the bag on the table next to the door and reached for the door handle. I heard the door to the bathroom over and froze. As I slowly turn my head I see her. Thankfully she was clothed but not completely. Now I really wouldn't have minded seeing her naked but I knew right now I wouldn't be able to handle it. She had a towel in one hand as she dried her hair and reached for a bottle of water. She tilted her head back and took a long drink. The sight of her exposed neck set me on fire. I sighed and she swung her head towards me. Oops. I must have startled her. She turned to face me and I took in her appearance fully. She was wearing blue jeans that were still unbottoned and a black laced bra. Her hair was wet and laid on her shoulders. She smirked at me. She must have noticed the drool. I immediately blushed and looked down. When I looked back up the smirk was gone and she walked over to her bag and took a shirt out. She threw it on and I was instantly disappointed but …relieved.

"You didn't have to do that ya know." I said quietly.

"I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." She must have noticed I was embarrassed. This time it was me gawking.

"I wasn't." I lied. "I love your tattoo." I do.

"Thanks. I got it last summer. Hurt like a bitch." She chuckled.

"I bet. But it looks really good on you." I smile and look away to hide my red cheeks. No-one had ever made me blush as much as she does and so effortlessly.

"I can take my shirt back off if you want. You can get a closer look." Oh boy.

"Maybe later." I said. Assuming there would be a later. At this rate I was almost certain there would be.

She smirked again. She motioned towards the couch. "You can sit …If you want."

I walked over and sat down. I was so nervous. My leg started slightly bouncing.

"So how did you get in here anyway? Mark doesn't usually let in the crazy blondes. He worries about me." She starts walking towards me.

I laugh. "I have connections. I'm tight with the owner."

She sits down on the table in front of the couch. Right in front of me.

"What about the owner's daughter?" She grabs my trembling hand and kisses it. I love when she does that.

"I'm scared too." She said looking down at my hand that was still shaking.

I inched to the edge of the couch and reached out to lift her head back up. Her eyes pulled me in. They were so dark and beautiful and full of love. I couldn't hold back any longer.

I leaned in and kissed her. Soft and gentle. She got down and kneeled in front of me between my legs. I pulled her into me. The feel of her warm body against me set my body ablaze. I moaned into the kiss. And just when I thought it couldn't get any hotter she snuck her tongue into my mouth and instantly found mine. Who knew kissing a woman could do this to me? But I had a feeling only Ashley could do this. It was all her. Our tongues were discovering each other's mouths while our hands roamed over unfamiliar territory. She moved her hands up my arms and I shuddered. My hands were on her face and I tilted my head and pulled her further into me. Another moan. This time from her. I was so turned on at this point. She left my mouth and I instantly missed her tongue and the warmth of her mouth on mine. She kissed down my jawline and to my neck. Wow. Nothing had ever felt so good. She bit down and I jerked back. She chuckled and did it again and then let her tongue run up to my ear and she nibbled on it. I wanted her so badly. I grabbed her face again and pulled it back to me. I kissed her hard and it was a bit sloppy but I didn't care and neither did she. My hands slid down and rested on her lower back. I lifted her shirt slightly and touched her warm skin. I could feel her tattoo. The skin was somewhat smoother there. I traced it all the way around her back and stopped at her side. We were too close for me to continue tracing it. Her tongue was back in my mouth now and I sucked on it. Her response was to push me back into the couch. She was as turned on as me. Her knee was pushed in between my legs and I rolled my eyes back into my head. She felt so good. Then suddenly she was straddling me. She stopped kissing me and sat up. Looking down at me with those dark eyes and parted lips.

"I want you so bad Spence." She said quietly.

If it was possible my heart started beating faster and my cheeks turned a deep red. I wanted her badly too.

"I want you too Ashley." I did. I wanted her more than I had ever wanted anything or anyone in my life.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"More than okay." I admitted.

She leaned down to me and gently pressed her lips to mine. She then planted soft kisses to every inch of my face. I realized in that moment that I wanted more for her than this. I wanted to give her everything. All of me… but not here. I wanted more time.

"Ash?" I whispered.

She stopped kissing and looked at me. She was inches away from my face and I wanted to pull her into my mouth again.

"We have to stop." She didn't look mad like I thought she would.

"I know." She kissed me again. "I know."

"Miranda's going to wonder what's taking me so long."

_**Ashley's P.O.V**_

At the sound of her name I froze. My heart stopped. What we she do if she knew? Would she be mad at me? Would she hate me? I couldn't lose her.

"Okay."

I lifted myself off of her and pulled her up. She caressed my face and kissed me softly.

"You were amazing up there tonight Ash. Thank you." She let go of my face and walked towards the door.

"See you in a bit." She said before she walked out the door.

I sit down on the couch and put my head in my hands. If I knew love was this fucking complicated I would have never fallen. Please. As if I had a choice. But why did it have to be my teacher? Why couldn't it have been Casey? It would have been so much simpler. Well as simple as a lesbian couple can have it.

Casey….

I wonder what she was doing right now.

I found my phone. I was going to text her.

There was a text from her.

_Happy birthday Ash. Wish I was there with you now. On a cruise with my parents. See you after spring break. We can talk then. -Casey_

I smiled at the text and then frowned. I missed Casey.

If someone would have told me a month ago that Casey wasn't my best friend anymore and I had a new best friend I would have told them they were full of shit. But it had happened. I didn't want to replace her as my best friend. But it was inevitable. She couldn't be my best friend if she was in love me. It wouldn't work. I needed someone who wanted to be there for me, not with me. I need a friend. I got that with Miranda.

I texted her back telling her Thank you and I would see her soon. I finished getting ready and walked out the door. Mark high fived me.

"What was that for?" I questioned him.

"For an excellent show and the excellent piece of ass that just walked out of there looking flushed." Oh..Spencer.

"Thank you but please don't talk about Spencer like that. Okay? I don't want to have to kick your ass." He looked at me funny and laughed.

"Awwweee. Ashley is in love. How sweet." He lifts me up and spins me around.

"Put me down you big Oaf." I slapped his arms and laughed.

"Okay. But you have to promise me I can be in your wedding." What?

"I'm 18 years old Mark. I don't plan on getting married any time soon. And I know Spencer wants me but I don't know how she feels…in her heart."

He frowns. "Can I at least get an invitation?" Ugh.

"Fine. Now will you drop it? I have to get out there to my adoring fans." I get up on the tips of my toes and kiss him on the cheek.

"I'll be right behind you. Call my name if you need my help." He's such a sweety.

"I will." I turn around and walk through the hallway and out to the club. I make my way to the stair way but not before I see a blur of blonde hair out of the corner of my eye and then suddenly hot lips are on mine. When I realize it's not the blonde I want I push her off of me.

Rebecca.

"Uh..Hi Rebecca." I say surprised.

"Hey Ashley. Sorry about that. You looked so damn Hot up there I've wanted to do that all night …and more." She wiggles her eyebrows.

"Sorry Rebecca. I can't. I'm glad that you came.. and that you enjoyed the show."

"Oh I did come. Twice. Because of your amazing show." Oh boy. This girl is too much. She starts to trail her finger from my lips all the way down to my breast. I gasp.

"Hey Ash. I was looking for you." Thank God for Madi.

She walks up to me and kisses me. Holy shit! She pulls back and smirks.

"Now that I have found you lets go upstairs and have some drinks." She winks at me and I gulp.

Then she turns to Rebecca and smirks again. Rebecca looks pissed. It's about to get ugly in here. Rebecca steps forwards and Madi gets in her face. Can you say…Catfight? Oh this is going to be great. I knew Madi was hot but DAMN!

"C'mon Madi. Let's go upstairs." I pull her away and look back at Rebecca.

"Sorry. It was good to see you though." She didn't smile back she just turned around and walked away.

"Thanks for the save Mads. That girl was crazy."

"A while back she would have been your type. I saw how uncomfortable you were with her. What's up with that?" She asks as we walked up the stairs. We reached the top and I saw Spencer right away. Sitting at the booth with everyone. Laughing.

"Nothing is up. I'm just not into that anymore."

"Ash you're not still crushing on you know who are you?" She looks over at Spencer.

"No. I'm not crushing on her." It wasn't really a lie. I wasn't crushing on her. I was in love with her.

"You sure. I see how close you two have gotten. You and Miranda. Spencer is all she has."

"She has me too. It doesn't matter. Nothing is going on with Spencer. She's here because my dad asked her to be. She is the one who got into contact with him and brought him home. They like each other. You know ..In a friendly way."

"Okay. Sorry if I was seeing something that wasn't there." Say what again?

"What do you mean? What is it that you think you were seeing?"

"The way she was looking at you when you were on stage." Shit!

"She is attracted to you Ash. That is obvious." Fuck!

"She may have a wee bit of a crush on you too Ash." Damn!

"Well whatever. Nothing is going to happen. She is my teacher and Miranda's family. It would be wrong." I hated saying it. But it was true.

"C'mon..Let's get some drinks." I pull her towards the mini bar.

We all stayed for an hour or so. We talked, joked and laughed. I was so happy to have them all there. I even got to open some presents.

Madi got me a gift card for Victoria's Secret. "For all of the ladies that you entertain." She says. Funny. I look over at Spencer and she just laughs too. I don't like her being so far from me. I am suddenly jealous of my dad and Chelsea.

Speaking of Chelsea, she got me a book of poems. "For all of the ladies that you entertain." She laughed. What am I a whore? Oh wait..I used to be. I glared at her and then at Madi. Spencer had her chin rested in her hand. She was smiling at me but her eyes said something else. Of course I had no clue what they were saying.

Miranda and Spencer got me a leather book with a string around it. On the front were my initials A.M.D. Inside were blank pages of sheet music. I loved it. It was perfect. I looked up at them and smiled. "Finally. Someone who knows the perfect gift for me."

I glare at Madi and Chelsea again. I walk around and hug everyone. I briefly hugged Spencer and it was so hard not to linger in her arms. I pulled away reluctantly and went right into my dad's arms.

"What did you get her Mr. D?" Chelsea asked.

"Oh. I haven't given it to her yet. The big one anyway. How did you like the small gift Princess?" Huh?

"Um…I don't.." I just happened to look at Spence and she looked worried. Wonder what that was about.

My dad noticed it too.

"You okay Hun?" He asked her.

"Uh yeah. I just uh.." What was with her? She looked at my dad strangely and he seemed to understand what was going on. I had no freakin' clue.

"It was a surprise. Well talk about it later." He said suddenly. Some non-verbal conversation was going on between the two of them and I was curious.

"Ooo-Kay."

I saw fire out of the corner of my eyes. I swung my head to the left and saw Mark, my big, sweet oaf carrying a cake. He had a big cheesy smile on his face. Kind of like the one I was pretty sure I was wearing.

_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday dear Ashley,_

_Happy Birthday to you._

This night couldn't get any better. The people I loved and loved me back were all here. I was so happy. So happy that I started crying. What the fuck is wrong me? I have become a total sap lately. When they finished the song I blew out the candles. What did I wish for? I sure as hell ain't gonna tell you. It won't come true then.

I wiped my tears and thanked everyone. I cut the cake and handed it out. After the cake was gone and everyone came down from their sugar induced high I noticed it hadn't gotten late. It was nearly midnight.

"Well Ash we are going to go. I have a curfew remember."

"Yeah I know. Thanks for coming Chels." I got up and hugged her.

"I'm going to go to Ash. I am spending the night at Chelsea's." Miranda came up and hugged me. She whispered in my ear that she loved me and would call me tomorrow.

"Well I guess I'm going too since Chelsea drove. Love you girl." Madi hugged me tightly.

"Easy Mad's. I know you like me in all. But you already got a kiss and that's all you're getting." I joked.

"Please girl. I saved you from that chick. You owe me." She smiled and waved.

The three of them left and I went back to the table.

"Okay. What the hell just happened?" I looked at the two of them.

"Well see Spencer here was supposed to give you a bag when she went to find you. Seems that she forgot." He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Yeah. Sorry. I was a little distracted." She coughed.

"Yeah I bet. Is it even in the room?" He asked Spencer and she nodded. She was embarrassed. Awe poor Spence.

"I'm going to go get it. You two stay here. Don't do anything I wouldn't do Ash." He winked.

"So you were distracted huh?" I walked over and sat next to Spencer in the booth.

"A little. You were barely wearing any clothes." She blushed.

"Did you like what you saw?" I purred in her ear.

"What do you think?" She turned to face me and I leaned in and kissed her and then pulled back so I could see her face.

It was just a peck but her face was instantly red, her pupils were dilated and her heart was about to burst out of her chest. I loved that I had this effect on her.

"I think that I need to do the early graduation thing. Or maybe I'll just drop out and get my G.E.D." I was joking but she was mad.

"Absolutely not Ashley. You need to finish school. You need to get a real diploma. I will not let you ruin your life for me." She was getting loud.

"Spence calm down." I grabbed her hands and held them in mine. "I was just kidding. I have no intention of quitting school. I actually like it for some odd reason. And it's not just because my Literature Teacher is Smoking HOT!"

She laughs. "Should I be jealous of this Literature Teacher of yours?"

"No. She's hot. But she's also bossy and she thinks she knows everything. It's really quite the turn off." I say and she slaps my arm playfully.

"You really think that of me?" She pouts and it is too cute for words.

"Yes. I do." I reach my hand up and trace her lips with my thumb.

"But it's not a turn off. I love it when you're bossy. And you do know a lot and you wear those sexy glasses so I'll let that slide." She blushes again.

"So my 'Mrs. Know-it-all' ness doesn't bore you? Ya know since it's such a turn off." She's getting defensive but she's only joking.

"No. Nothing about you…Mrs. Dennison..is boring. You fascinate me. I could just listen to you talk all hour of class. You're so passionate. Hell, you could talk about house plants and I wouldn't miss a word." She laughed.

"House plants huh?"

"Yeah. House plants." I lean in and kiss her again. She pulls me closer.

I was about to deepen the kiss when I hear an annoying voice screeching up the stairs.

My mother. Oh SHIT! I look over at Spence and she looks scared. This is not going to be good.

_**Review please. They make me smile :)**_

_**Songs**_

_High Road- Kate Voegele_

_When I Saw You- Mariah Carey_

_You've Got A Friend- Carole King_


	22. Chapter 22Blood,sweat,tears & Spencer

_**Thanks for the reviews everyone :)**_

**CoolGay**- I think they both know by now that Raife is okay with them being together. And Christine may or may not ruin our Spashley. You'll just have to read below.

**A Mind That Sits Still**- Yeah I don't think anyone saw the Madi thing coming. That's it what I wanted. Thanks..the songs are very important to me. They have to be just right and fit into the story like Ashley is actually writing them. Raife is quite the cupid.

**tbplrbear1**-Well thank you. Glad you are enjoying the pace. A few readers are bugging me to have them 'get it on' already. Lol. I didn't want Raife dead and don't plan on killing him. I don't know why everyone always writes him off. Poor guy.

**momo0424**- Yes. Madi is a little crazy. Thought you would all love that scene. And wouldn't we all get distracted by Ashley in just a bra and jeans. :) ;)

**victorial117**- Thanks. It isn't spoken about but they will start to a little in this chapter.

**hollymarie4**- Oh snap is right. Ashley's mom being around is never a good thing. lol. Madison seems to notice a lot huh? And Raife wasn't flirting with Spencer. He knows how she feels for Ashley and was comforting her :) Thanks and hope you enjoy the chapter.

**naranga87**- Gotta have a bit of suspense once in a while. Makes it more interesting. And the cliffhanger was needed. Sorry. Thought you'd like my 'cheeky' curveballs ;) Goofball :)

**noodles307**- Alyssa will come back into play shortly. She will get to see Ashley sing again. I'm not giving away anything else. You will just have to wait and see :)

**LoLo06**- Glad I could Rock Your Socks. And yes Ashley's mom has to ruin things...but not everything ;)

**bobo02**- Thank you and thank you. Glad you enjoyed the Spashley scenes. You could smell the drama coming huh? Too funny.

_**Thank you to everyone else that reviewed. I truly appreciate it. :)**_

_**This is usually the part where I put 'I own nothing but my imagination' but it was brought to my attention that I do own Casey and Miranda so**_ ...

_I own nothing but Casey and Miranda_. There. Happy?

She was screaming at someone as she walked up the stairs.

"Touch me again and I'll have your ass fired and living on the streets. You hear me?" Wonderful. Gotta love my mother. "Ashley. Where are you? I know you're up here."

"Stay here." I say to Spencer.

She grabs my hand. She looks worried.

"It's okay. Stay here." She nods but I know she's not going to listen.

I slid out of the booth and walked out of the room. She was in the open area right off the staircase sitting on a couch and smoking a cigarette.

"There's my darling daughter." She says as she puts her cigarette out on the table top next to the couch. Classy. "Hope I wasn't interrupting anything." She smirks. Bitch.

"What do you want?" I ask coldly.

"Is that anyway to talk to the woman who gave birth to you?" Seriously?

"It's the way I talk to the woman who never wanted to give birth to me." She laughs.

"Oh Ashley. Stop being so dramatic. You know I was drunk when I said that."

"What..do..you..want?" I asked her again.

"I came to say 'Happy Birthday' to my daughter of course." Right!

"Let me guess. You went to the bank today and they told you that you no longer had access to my account because I am 18 now." She didn't answer.

"You're here for money, right?" I know she is.

"It's only right considering you threw away my stuff.. again. You owe me." She has got to be kidding me.

"I don't owe you anything. You bought that 'stuff' with MY money. Therefore it was technically mine. So I did what I wanted with it. I flushed it. Sorry Mother Dearest." I wasn't sorry.

"You had no right you little Bitch." She's standing up now. Right in my face.

"I had every right." I wasn't going to back down.

"You are going to give me what you owe me Ashley Marie." She has got to be on something.

"I AM NOT giving you anything." I raised my voice.

She grabbed my arm tight and pulled me closer to her.

"Listen hear you little brat. You are going to give me that money or I am going to start auctioning off more of your prized possessions. I got a pretty penny for that damn guitar your father gave you. Set me up for a week. You didn't even notice it was gone. So don't fuck with me Ashley."

She did not just say she sold my guitar to someone. My favorite guitar. The one my dad gave me on my 13th birthday. The one he signed with love. I am going to kill her.

"How could you do that? You know how much it meant to me. What's wrong with you?" I was yelling and crying at the same time. I had to get that guitar back. I would pay as much as I had to.

"Don't come home tonight unless you have my money." She turned around to leave.

"I'm not giving you a dime. I guess you're gonna have to get a job. I'm sure they're always looking for new hookers on the corner a couple streets down." She whipped around. Looks like I struck a nerve. She walked back to me and stuck her finger in my face.

"Watch your mouth. You will not talk to me that way. And you will have my money for me by tomorrow." Not likely.

"Maybe you didn't hear me the first, second or third time. I am not giving you shit. Go whore yourself out at the corner. That should be no problem for you."

**WHACK!**

I fell down onto one knee. The bitch backhanded me. My lip was throbbing and bleeding. I slowly stood up and faced her.

"Is that all you got?" It fucking hurt but I wasn't about to let her know that.

She lifted her hand to strike me again but someone grabbed her arm. Spencer. She grabbed ahold of it and pushed her back. She stumbled into the railing. She was stunned. Spencer was pissed.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" My mother screeched.

"Someone who is not going to let you hurt Ashley anymore." Spencer replied, seething.

My mother laughed. "I'm not scared of you Blondie."

"Sure you are. You're a coward. That's why you like to bully people. But you won't touch her again. I won't let you." Spencer put her arm around my back. She was risking a lot right now.

"What are you Ashley's new fuck buddy?" Shit! Spencer turned white.

"Shut up." I warned her.

"Ooh I'm right aren't I?" She had a satisfied look on her face.

"You should run while you can Sweetheart. She's just like her father. She'll fuck you and then when she's bored of you she'll find someone else to fuck."

"I said SHUT UP." I screamed at her.

I started walking towards her. Spencer grabbed my hand and pulled me back.

"You're out of line and you need to leave." Spencer told her.

"You _are_ fucking her aren't you? Wait…aren't you her teacher? Oh this is fantastic." She rubbed her hands together.

"She is not having sex with me mother. She's just here as a friend. She's….here with dad." I didn't know what else to say. I couldn't let Spencer get into trouble. My mother would be waiting outside the school board office at the crack of dawn.

"Raife? He's here?" She looked scared all of the sudden.

"You need to go. Now!" Bossy Spencer was back and if I wasn't so upset I would be so turned on.

"Easy Blondie. I know you think that you are special because you are fucking a Rock star but you better be careful. He'll knock you up and then leave you. And then all you will have left is ..One of these." She looks over at me. I have never been referred to as 'one of these'. My mother is a master at stabbing me in the heart and then plunging the knife deeper while twisting it. After all this time and the hurtful things she has said to me it shouldn't hurt this much …But it does.

"CHRISTINE! That's enough!" Finally. Where has he been?

"Don't you ever talk to MY daughter like that again." His face was red. I have never seen him so angry. It just made me more upset.

"Well look who it is. Father of the fucking year." My mother started lightly clapping.

He walked over to me noticing my current state.

"Are you okay Princess?" He lifted my head and saw my lip. Rage in his eyes he turned around and glared at my mother. Please don't do anything stupid dad.

"I'm fine Dad." I looked into his eyes pleading with him to not go after her. I hated her but I didn't want him to do something he would get arrested for.

He was fuming but he held back. He turned to Spencer and pulled her to the side.

"Can you please take my daughter home?" He asked her.

"Yes. Of course." She said.

"No." He grabbed her hand.

"To your house. I don't want her anywhere near mine tonight. She needs to be someplace she feels safe. You make her feel safe. Please." He begged.

"I'll take her to my house." She replied.

He nodded. "Thank you."

"Take care of her." He whispered.

"I will." She said.

He turned and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. Then he put both of his hands on my face.

"I'm going to take care of everything Princess. She is never going to hurt you again. I promise." He said and then kissed my head again.

"Daddy. Please don't do anything stupid. I need you in my life." My voice cracked.

"No worries Honey. I'm going to take care of this. Legally. Go now. Let Spencer take care of you okay. I love you." He hugged me again and then pulled me to the stairs where Spencer was waiting. He grabbed a bag off of the floor by the stairs and handed it to me.

"For you Princess." He smiled. I wanted to smile but I couldn't so I just hugged him again.

"I love you Dad."

….

**Spencer's P.O.V. **

The ride to my house was quiet. I looked over at Ashley a couple of times and her face was expressionless. She just kept her eyes out her window. I didn't know what to do. I have never seen her like this. I did the only thing I could think of. I placed my hand over hers. She looked down at my hand and took hold of it. Then she looked back out her window.

She still hadn't said anything when we walked into the house. She just stood by the door way. Unsure. I told her she could sleep in Miranda's bed. She didn't say anything. She just started walking towards the room.

"Ash?" I say as I gently grab her arm to stop her.

She turns to look at me. Her face still blank.

"We should clean your lip first." She nods and follows me into the bathroom.

"Sit." I pat the counter top.

She slowly hops up onto the counter. I grab a washcloth out of the cabinet and run it under warm water. All the while she just watches me in silence. I bring the washcloth to her lip.

"This might sting." I warn her.

I gently press the washcloth to the cut on her lip and she winces.

"Sorry." I don't want to hurt her more but the cut looks really bad.

I press it to her lip again and she grips the edge of the counter top with both hands. Her bottom lip was split and it made me sick to my stomach that her mother was who did this. And from what I had heard it wasn't the first time. That thought made my stomach churn even more.

I cleaned up the cut as best as I could without making it bleed again. I threw the washcloth in the sink and held out my hand. She takes it and hops off the counter.

"There should be a toothbrush under the sink you can use. I'll go find some pajama's for you." She just nodded in response.

I went to Miranda's room and found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I set them at the end of the bed. Then I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water and some aspirin. When I walked back to the bedroom the site before me nearly brought me to tears. Ashley was curled up into a ball in Miranda's bed. She was staring at the wall. You could see how swollen her lip was even from a distance. I walked into the room and I don't think she even noticed.

"I brought you some aspirin." She sits up and takes them from my hand. Then she takes the water to her mouth and swallows the pills. I take the glass from her and set it on the nightstand. She lies back down. I kneel on the floor next to the bed so we are face to face.

"If you need anything I'm here. Okay?" She says not a word. No nod either.

I don't know if this is usually how she is after this happens with her mother. But it scares me. I don't want to push her but I can't not do something. I know she needs me. I reach out and move a curl out of her face. She just stares at me. Her usually warm chocolate eyes so empty and cold.

"Okay. I'm going to go take a shower and then head to bed. I'll see you in the morning."

Nothing.

I stand up and turn to walk away when she grabs my hand.

"Thank you." She says so quietly I barely hear her.

I kneel back down and kiss her hand.

"You're welcome. Let me know if you need anything. Okay?"

"Okay." She says this time.

A little while later I was lying in my bed staring at the ceiling. I couldn't sleep. I kept replaying the scene at the club over and over again in my head. I shook my head to try and stop but I couldn't. I tried to remember the good stuff that took place earlier in the night. I smiled when I remembered the song Ashley sang to me. It was so beautiful.

The stairs started to creak and pulled me out of my thoughts. I saw a small silhouette coming towards me. Ashley. She leaned up against the wall.

"Hey" She said.

"Hey" I responded.

"Did I wake you?" She asked.

"No. I couldn't sleep." I couldn't stop thinking of you.

"Me either." She said and looked down.

"Come here." I just wanted her near me. Was that a crime? I don't care.

I slid over to the cold side of the bed and held up the covers so she could get in.

She got in and laid on her side facing me.

"Are you okay?" I asked. Dumb question.

"No." She said. "But I will be."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I rubbed her arm.

She shook her head. "We were both there. No need to talk about it."

I didn't press the issue. She was still upset.

"Spence?" She whispered.

"Hmmm?"

"Will you hold me?" She asked. Her voice cracking slightly.

I didn't answer her verbally. I just opened my arms. She needed me and I wasn't going to deny her. Not to mention that I've wanted to take her in my arms all night and never let her go.

She scooted over and pressed into me. Her face in the crook of my neck. Her body so warm. She started to cry softly. I held her tightly and rubbed her back.

"It's going to be okay Ashley. You're going to be okay. I won't let her hurt you again. Your dad won't let her hurt you again." I kissed her head. "You're safe."

She cried herself to sleep in my arms. I followed shortly after.

**Ashley's P.O.V**

I woke up surrounded in warmth. I felt the warm skin of her neck that my face was pressed into. I felt her warm arms that were wrapped around me. I had never been so comfortable in my life. All last night's events pushed far away into my head. The woman that I was in love with was holding me. Keeping me warm and safe. I could stay like this forever.. well at least til I had to pee. Which was right then.

I reluctantly wiggled out of her arms. She moved without waking up. I ran downstairs to the bathroom.

When I got back to Spencer she was rolled over facing the other wall. I regretted getting up now. Nature always calls at the worst times. I slid back into bed and just laid there staring at the back of her head. I wanted to hold her now. I wanted to take her in my arms and make her as warm and safe as she made me feel. I had never been one for cuddling. I had cuddled with Casey a few times but never with anyone else. I was totally a spooner now and not a forker. I thought that would suck but it doesn't. I want Spencer but I want to just be with her more. I move closer to her and she surprises me. She reaches back behind her and finds my arm. She pulls it up and around her and then holds my hand to her stomach. My breath hitches as she pushes back into me so we are closer. I lean in and kiss her neck. She smells so good and she tastes better. Another time, another place I tell myself. I rest my head against hers and close my eyes. Sleep came fast again.

I woke up to the sun shining in my face, my lip throbbing and a sore throat. None of that mattered though. Why? Because I was still holding Spencer. I had never woken up next to anyone before. I sure hadn't ever woken up holding anyone. It felt good. It felt safe. It felt right. It felt surreal. When I was with Spencer like this. It felt like …home. She stirred a little. The sun was in her face as well. I couldn't resist. Ignoring the pain in my lip I leaned down and kissed her bare shoulder. I kissed it again and then worked my way up from her shoulder to her neck to her cheek leaving a trail of soft kisses. She giggled.

"Good morning Ashley." She said in a sleepy voice.

"Morning Spence." I whispered back and kissed her ear.

She turned around in my arms probably to escape the sun. Oh wow. She looked so beautiful.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks.

"Oh. It's just that I have never seen you without make up."

"Do I look that bad?" She laughed.

"No. You look absolutely beautiful. Naturally beautiful." I admitted.

She blushed. "Thank you."

"I on the other hand probably look hideous." My lip felt like it had doubled in size over night. It couldn't have been very attractive.

"You don't look hideous. It actually looks a lot better than it did last night. You still look gorgeous Ashley." She blushed again and then laughed.

"What? Why are you laughing?" She covered her face with her hands.

"How do you do that? You make me blush like a little school girl." She said with her hands still over her face.

I move her hands and notice her deep red cheeks.

"I don't know Spence. Haven't people been telling you your whole life how breath taking you are? I now understand when people say that someone can walk into a room and light it up. You are so stunningly beautiful. I literally can't breathe sometimes when you look at me." She blushed again. Haha.

"Would you stop Ashley. That's not fair. And you're crazy. Sweet but Crazy." She laughed.

"I am not crazy. It's true." I ended it there. I didn't want to embarrass her anymore.

I looked past her and saw a picture on her nightstand. It looked like a picture of her family.

"Spence what's your family like?" She smiles.

"Random question time?"

"Perhaps. But I may have more than one question. Is that okay?" I ask.

"Yes Ashley. You can ask me more than one question. Ask me whatever you want to ask me." She reached for my hand and I give it to her.

"My family is wonderful Ashley. I miss them terribly." Her smiles quickly turned into a frown.

She turned around and grabbed the picture off her nightstand.

"My dad is a Chef at the restaurant he owns. He is such an amazing cook. But an even more amazing father. I miss him the most." She looks down at the picture sadly.

I distract her. "And your mom?" Spencer looks just like her mother but much younger and much more beautiful.

"I don't see my mom much. She is a doctor and she owns a private practice in Detroit but she also works with Doctors Without Borders. So she is never home. Right now she is in a small village in South America. I haven't heard from her personally in 3 months."

"Doctors Without Borders? Is that where they go out and help countries that don't have the appropriate medical care?" I had heard of them before.

"Exactly. But they also help out in countries that have national disasters like last year in Haiti. She was there for months."

"Sounds like she loves what she does. I don't think I could do that job though."

"Yeah me either." She agreed.

"This is my brother Clay." I must look confused. She laughs. "He was adopted when he was just a baby. My mom was working at the Hospital and his mother died giving birth to him. She had no other family so my mom took him home and after a year or so she adopted him. Anyway he is an amazing man. He is a Physics Professor at The University of Michigan. He's literally a genius."

"Sounds like it. You went to school there right?"

"Yes. It was between U of M and Notre Dame. I chose U of M mainly because he was there."

"And who is this?" I pointed at the other blonde.

"That is Glen. Ugh. What can I say about Glen? He is the proud Assistant Manager of the local sporting goods store." She laughed.

"That's the best you got?" I chuckle.

"Sadly yes. Actually he isn't that bad. He's just annoying and an asshole."

"So he's like the black sheep of the family?"

"Yes he is." She laughs again.

"Your family sounds wonderful Spence. You are very lucky to have them." Very lucky.

"I know. I thank God every day for them." She smiles but I know she feels bad for talking about how wonderful her family is.

Our hands are still linked and I look down at them. They fit so well together. Perfect. I look back at her and study her face. Her face that is all of the sudden red again. She is biting her bottom lip.

"Thanks again for last night Spence. I know I wasn't myself and was being difficult so I'm sorry."

She let go of my hand and touched my face. She caressed my cheek with the back of her fingers.

"Don't apologize. Last night was rough. You had every right to be upset. I'm just glad I could be there for you."

"I'm glad you were here too." I wanted to kiss her so bad. To thank her mostly.

"We should get out of this bed and get some breakfast." She suggested.

"Yeah we probably should. Is it alright if I take a shower?" I am in bad need of a shower.

"Yes of course. I'll get you some fresh clothes and make some breakfast." She rolls out of bed and I finally see what she is wearing. Short. No. Very short shorts, and a white tank top. Wow. This is the most I have seen of her legs and I am sure I am drooling right now. She looks over at me and blushes again. I can't help but stare. She grabs a small robe off the back of her closet door and puts it around herself. Damn! She sees and hears my disappointment and laughs.

"You're no fun Spencer." I pout. She walks away and laughs again.

"Go get in the shower. Breakfast will be ready in 20." She says while going down the steps.

"Ugh" I roll out of bed and head for the steps.

The shower feels so good. I wash away the blood, sweat and tears of last night. I use Spencer's shampoo and it instantly makes me think of being in her arms last night. I can't believe I spent the night in her bed and didn't try anything. It wasn't the right time. I just needed her. I needed her strength and her love. And she gave it to me.

After the shower I put on the clothes she got for me. They're hers. I can smell her on them. I blow dry my hair a bit and brush my teeth.

When I walked into the kitchen she was on the phone.

"Yes. I will. Okay. Bye." She hangs up and then notices me in the doorway.

"Hey. I didn't know you were out yet. That was your dad. He wanted to know how you were doing. He said he had something to do and he wouldn't be home until late so if you wanted to stay here a bit longer that he would come by and pick you up later."

"Okay. Did he sound alright?" I asked. I was still worried about him.

"He sounded good. He also told me to tell you not to worry about him."

"Okay." I was still going to worry.

I hopped up onto the counter. "Whatcha making?" I ask.

"Omlette's." She said standing in front of the stove.

"But I am going to warn you. I am not as good as a cook as my father."

"Well I only eat breakfast when my dad is home and you know that's not a lot so I don't have a whole lot to compare your cooking to." I say as I grab a piece of toast from the toaster and take a bite.

She finishes up the omlettes and puts them on a plate.

"When is Miranda coming home?" I ask. I really want to see her even though I want to spend time with Spencer…alone.

"Chelsea is going to drop her off around 3 or 4. They are going to an art exhibit downtown around noon." I look over to the clock that reads 10:43 a.m. That gives me 5 or more hours of Spencertime. Lucky me.

"Okay. Try this." She takes a fork full of omlette and puts it in my mouth. I smile while chewing. I try to act like I like it but oh wow.. it is horrible. Too much salt.

"That bad huh?" She laughs.

"No it's…great." I lie.

"You're such a bad liar Ash." She slaps my leg. I hop off the counter and take the plate from her. I set it on the counter. She is leaning against the counter across from me. I move so I am standing in front of her and she smiles. I move in closer and place my hands around her and on to the counter behind her. I lean in and whisper in her ear.

"Do you have... any jelly?" She shivers and then giggles.

"Yes I have... some strawberry jelly." She answers.

I pull back and kiss her on the cheek. Then head to the refrigerator. She just stands there shocked. I laugh inside.

I grab the jelly and the rest of the toast out of the toaster. I spread the jelly on the toast and hand her a piece.

"Looks like we are having toast for breakfast." I say.

"Sorry. I told you I was a bad cook." She's so damn cute.

"Yes. You kinda are." I laugh. "But you make up for it in other areas." I say seriously.

"Oh yeah. And what would those areas be?" She takes a bite out of her toast.

"Well." I walk up to her and stop when I am about a foot from her face. She stops breathing. She swallows her toast and chokes a bit. I hand her the orange juice that is on the counter. I love that I make her nervous.

"As I was saying." I continue. I'm even closer to her now.

"You are really smart." I kiss her cheek.

"You make me laugh. In a good way." I kiss her other cheek.

"You are very passionate about the things you love." I kiss her forehead.

"You have a big heart. You care about people." I kiss her nose.

"You are courageous and brave and strong." I kiss her chin.

"But best of all…..You are an amazing kisser." I kiss her lips softly.

She throws her toast on the counter, grabs my head, pulls me into her and crashes her lips into mine. The kiss was hungry and needy and all-consuming. I ignored my throbbing lip and kissed her harder. I picked her up, walker over to the table and set her down on it. I pulled her hips to the edge of the table and pressed myself into her. She moaned into my mouth that had opened slightly to let her tongue in. I caressed her tongue with mine and then sucked on it savoring the taste. My mouth left hers and latched on to her neck. I bit down softly and then soothed it with my tongue. I wanted to leave a mark but I knew I shouldn't and knowing I wouldn't be able to resist I left her neck and went back up to her mouth. I traced her lips with my tongue and she opened her mouth again. Our tongues were getting reacquainted with one another. Her hands were in my hair and my hands were still on her ass. I lifted it and pulled her further into me but it wasn't enough. I needed her closer. I picked her up off the counter with ease and headed towards the couch. Her mouth tried desperately to stay on mine. I laid her gently on the couch and moved on top of her. She opened her legs and I laid in between them. I untied her robe and opened it up. She was biting her lip again. She was so damn sexy. I pressed into her and our centers met and we both moaned. Her hands were tangled in my hair again and mine found her hips. I kept our bodies as close together as I could. She wrapped her legs around me not wanting to let me go. I wasn't going anywhere. I moved my hands up to her stomach and lifted up her shirt slightly on both sides. I needed to feel her soft skin. Our mouths were still on each other's. Our tongues still dancing. Our lips still gliding together. I grinded into her and she threw her head back. My mouth went straight to her neck again. Kissing and biting and licking. I didn't know if I left a mark and I didn't care anymore. She brought her head back down and looked at me. Her eyes so dark and full of lust. She pulled my head back to her and kissed me again. Gently this time. Her hands left my hair and moved down to my ass and pulled me into her.

_Suddenly something happened to me that I didn't quite understand. My body was reacting normally. I was hot and extremely wet. My heart was reacting normally. It was beating fast and loud. My mind though. Nothing normal going on up there. Normally my mind would be in the gutter about right now. Thinking about all of the things I was going to do to her. But no. My mind wandered to thoughts of the things I wanted to do with her. Images of walking on the beach with our pants rolled up while holding hands. Images of carnival rides, cotton candy and big, giant, useless stuffed animals. Images of lying on a blanket in the grass holding her while we watch fireworks. Images of walking to her door with flowers and dancing with her after dinner in the moonlight. Images of…okay you get the picture. I stopped kissing her suddenly and looked down at the beautiful now dark blue eyes. They were looking back at me confused._

"Are you okay?" She said out of breath.

"Yeah. I just. I don't know. Sorry." How do I explain to her what just happened?

"Ashley. What's wrong?" She takes my face in her hands.

"I want to take you on a date. But I know I can't." I say and look down. I lift myself up a little bit and roll to the side of the couch. She turns to face me.

"You want to take me on a date? That's what you are thinking right now?" She laughs.

"Yes." I say embarrassed.

"Wow Ashley. And here I thought your mind was always dirty." She laughed again.

I slap her arm playfully.

"Sorry." She says.

"You're right. It usually is. But not always with you. I want something from you that I have never wanted from anyone." I say looking straight into her eyes.

"And what's that?" She says while tracing my lips with her fingers.

I hesitate. I don't want to scare her away. But I can't lie to her. She needs to know how I feel.

"Everything." I don't take my eyes off hers. I want to see her reaction.

She looks at me with another one of those looks that I can't read. I wish she would tell me how she feels so I don't have to guess.

I don't like the look on her face. It scares me. I am about to ask her what she is thinking when I hear a car door slam. We both sit up so fast that we bump heads.

"Sorry." We both say at the same time.

She gets up off the couch just as Miranda walks in the door.

Uh oh.

She looks at Spencer. She has flushed cheeks and her tight tank top is still lifted up to her belly button. Oh yeah..and a mark on her neck. Ooops! I quickly put my hand over my lip. I don't want to have to explain that too right now. She looks at me. Sitting on the couch probably flushed as well. My hair tousled.

We're caught.

"I knew it." She said. I can't figure out if she is mad or not.

"I can't believe you two." She raised her voice. Yep she's mad.

"How long has this being going on?" She asked. Neither of us answered.

"You didn't think that I was going to find out?"

Fuck! I couldn't lose her. But I was in love with Spencer.

She threw her bags on the floor, turned around and slammed the door shut. Spencer and I looked at each other and then back at her.

She turned back around and we were both surprised to see her…. Smiling.

_**Review please :)**_


	23. Chapter 23You have my heart

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews. Your responses truly warm my heart.**_

_**Sorry I couldn't directly respond to your reviews this time. I am in a hurry and it was either post the story without them or wait til morning to post it. I think you all would rather have it now. So here it is :)**_

_I own nothing but my imagination...Casey, Alyssa and of course the amazing Miranda :)_

"I knew it, I knew it, I knew it." She was practically jumping up and down. I thought she would be mad when she found out. Apparently I was very wrong. I couldn't help but chuckle at her behavior. I look over at Spencer and she just looks shocked. She quickly re-tied her robe. The same expression on her face when I told her I wanted 'everything' from her. I think I may have fucked up telling her that.

"So are you two going to start talking anytime soon?" She looked over at me first.

"Oh, uh, um." Yep those were the only words I could form at the moment.

She laughed and then looked at Spencer.

"Right, uh. Well.." Spencer at least got more than 2 letter words out.

The phone rang and startled us.

"Uh. I'm going to go get that." Spencer said then practically ran out of the room. That was so not fair. Leaving me here with the inquisitor. Alone…and scared.

I look from a departing Spencer back to Miranda who is still staring at me with one eyebrow raised.

"Well?" She says waiting for answers.

"Well? What do you want to know?" I ask.

"Everything. Well maybe not ev-ery-thing." She wiggles her eyebrows. She did not just do that.

"Like what?" I ask playing dumb.

"For starters how about you tell me why you felt you had to lie to me?" She looks upset now.

"I didn't lie to you I swear." I put both of my hands to my heart.

"Oh no." She says with a frown. "Ashley what happened?" Before I know what is going on she walks over to me, kneels down and turns my face to the left.

"Who did this to you?" Her voice aches and her eyes are sad.

Oh right. My lip. I had forgotten.

"Ashley, who did this to you?" She raised her voice and just then Spencer walked out of the kitchen. She looked upset too.

"My mother. She showed up after you guys left last night. She wanted money and I wouldn't give her any. I said some things she didn't like and she responded by remodeling my face." I laughed. She didn't.

"Ash. It's not funny." Miranda said. A few tears escaped from her eyes and slid slowly down her cheek.

I smoothed away her tears and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I'm okay though. My dad is going to take care of it. Of her." I reassured her. She pulled back and I could see the hurt in her eyes. It killed her to see me like this and it killed me to see her hurting for me. I hate my mother.

We sat back on the couch very close to one another. Spencer was still standing in the doorway of the kitchen. She had her head leaned again the frame and her eyes looked watery.

"I wish I could have been there. I would have made her look worse." Miranda said.

"So _I do_ look hideous?" I glared at Spencer and she pursed her lips trying not to smile.

"No Ash. You look beautiful as always." Miranda says and smiles big.

"You are both full of shit." I shook my head and laughed. Then I covered my face with my hands. They started laughing with me.

"So are you guys ready to talk?" Miranda asks looking back and forth at the both of us.

"Sure." Spencer said. I just nod.

"Let me go put something on first." She walked out of the room and up to hers.

"Miranda I swear I never lied to you. When you asked me before I promise you nothing was going on. This basically just started yesterday."

"And what exactly is 'this'?" She questioned.

"I don't even know." I shrugged my shoulders.

"Have you guys….had.."

"NO, no, no." I cut her off. Waving my hands back and forth.

"Not even close. No clothes have been shed. Promise."

"Well that's good to know. I think." She laughed.

"You two stayed together last night?" I knew what she was getting at.

"It wasn't like that. I was upset. My dad didn't want me to go home. So I stayed here and she comforted me." I smiled remembering how good it felt when she held me.

"Ash..I.."

"I know what you're gonna say." I cut her off again.

"It's not like that with Spencer. Okay? I, I , I'm in love with her." I whispered the last part.

Miranda smiled and then hugged me.

"I wasn't going to say anything bad Ash. I was just going to say how happy I am for you. I already knew how you felt about Spencer." She patted my hand.

"You did?"

"I'm not blind Ashley. I see the way you look at her. And all I have ever heard is how Ashley Davies is a Badass and she could have anyone she wanted but…. I haven't seen you even look at another girl. And that Rebecca girl doesn't count because you were just trying to make Spencer jealous. And it sooo worked. Well done." She smiled and I laughed.

Miranda saw a lot more than she let on.

"I've noticed changes in Spencer the last month. She was always so empty and then you came along and she started smiling again. Then she was sad and you were too. I knew that was related somehow. Now she is smiling again. I have never seen her like this. She's so protective of you. She's always asking about you. She's so happy around you…"

"She's finished dressing and is right behind you." Spencer cut her off this time. She was standing behind the couch with her hands on her hips and her head tilted. Smiling with those beautiful, pearly whites.

"Hey Spence. We were just talking about you."

"I know. I heard." She takes a seat on the chair across from us. I notice that she changed into a pair of tight blue jeans and has her U of M hoodie on again. She doesn't have any socks on and I notice that her lilac painted toes are perfect as well as the feet they are attached to.

"Okay well as much as I would like to sit here and grill you two. I am whooped and in bad need of a nap." Miranda said while yawning.

"What happened with going to art exhibit?" Spencer asked Miranda.

"Chels got into an argument with her parents about the car or something. So we didn't go. Her mom was mad and sent me home." She looked disappointed.

"I see. Well it's here until next week. Maybe you will get another chance to go."

"We probably will. Okay I'm going to nap. You two behave." She winked at me.

She got up and walked over to Spencer. She leaned down and kissed her cheek.

"You and I will have a little chat later." She smiled at Spencer and then left the room.

"Oh and you might want to cover up that hickey Spence." She shouted down the hallway.

Spencer covered her neck and glared at me. I just shrugged and snickered. "Sorry."

She got up from her chair and sat down next to me on the couch. Then she surprised me by grabbing my hands with hers. She kept her head down staring at them.

"I'm sorry I acted the way I did earlier." She said and then finally lifted her head and looked into my eyes.

"It's okay. I know I surprised you." It was my turn to look down at our entwined hands.

"You didn't surprise me Ashley." She said. "Well okay I was a bit surprised when you stopped kissing me to tell me you wanted to take me out on a date" She giggled and then paused. "But I wasn't surprised with what you said afterwards."

"You mean the '_everything_' part?" I looked back into her blue eyes. They looked different somehow. Almost calm.

"Yes. The _'everything'_ part." She squeezed my hands into hers. "Ash, I know this isn't just some high school crush for you and it is certainly not just a crush for me. I wouldn't risk so much if it were. But this." She points at the two of us. "This was a bit unexpected. And I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little scared. I am scared out of my mind. I am scared that I can't stop thinking about you. I am scared that you make my heart race by just looking at me. I am scared that I was willing to go to jail last night to protect you. I am scared that I couldn't stop myself earlier. I am scared that I need you as much as I do." She paused and placed her hands on my face. Caressing softly. "I am scared that all I ever want is to be near you and…. Kiss you." She leaned in and pressed her soft lips to mine. A gentle kiss…a huge relief. I hadn't fucked up. Yay me!

She pulled away from the kiss and rested her forehead on mine. I still had my eyes closed and I could still feel her lips.

"Ash, open your eyes." Spencer whispered.

I opened my eyes and looked into the ocean of blue staring back at me.

"You okay?" She asked.

"No." I replied.

"No?" She was worried.

"No. But I would feel a lot better if you let me hold you." I said while taking her hands in mine and lifting them to my mouth and kissing them.

She smiled and then got off the couch.

"Where are you going?" I asked her a little confused.

"I'm going to put a movie in. What do you want to watch?" She asked fingering through the DVD's.

"Something funny. No Drama please." I sighed.

"Okay. No drama. How about…..The Little Mermaid?" She had a big goofy smile on her face. How could I resist?

"Uh okay." I laughed.

I got a good look at her butt while she bent down and put the DVD in. Damn, I am a lucky girl.

She caught me staring and shook her head.

"Down girl." She joked as she sat back down on the couch.

I opened my arms for her and she laid back into me.

Perfect!

"Why did you pick this movie?" I asked her. I kissed her head.

"It's one of my favorite movies." She said proudly.

"Really? You need to see more movies Spence." I joked. She pinched my leg.

"Ow!" That really hurt.

"Sorry."

"So why is this one of your favorites?"

"I don't know. Do I have to have a reason? I just love it." She answered.

"Well what's your favorite part?"

"The boat scene when they sing "Kiss the girl". It's such a romantic scene." I hold in the snicker begging to be let out.

"Really Spence? It's a cartoon." She pinches me again.

"I suppose you loooove The Notebook too." I secretly own The Notebook. Hey I'm a romantic at heart.

"Actually yes I do. It such a classic love story. What can I say I'm a sucker for romantic movies with boat scenes." She giggled.

"Oh boy." I rolled my eyes but she couldn't see it.

"So are you saying you don't like romantic movies Ashley?"

"I didn't say that. But when I think Romantic Movie I don't think The Little Mermaid Spence." I laughed and she pinched me again.

"Ow! Will you stop doing that?" I tightened my grip on her so she couldn't move her arms.

"Stop making fun of me and I won't pinch you again." She's so cute.

"Spence you so owe me for making me watch this."

"I think you are getting your reward right now Ash so hush. The movie has started." I would watch an old, black and white, war movie with sub titles if I got to hold her. So worth it.

By the end of the movie she had turned and laid her head down on my chest and fell asleep. She was softly snoring and it was so cute. I ran my hands through her hair and kissed her head. I was so warm and comfortable. I fell asleep holding her.

A knocking at the door made us both jump. Knocking heads in the process.

"Sorry" We both say to each other.

Miranda walked over to answer the door.

"I'll get it. You guys may want to get up. Just in case." She's so smart. And the fact that she is looking out for us makes me love her more. I have such an amazing friend.

We both sat up and Spence got off the couch and sat on the chair across from me. She smiled at me and I winked at her. She looked away blushing. I will never get tired of that.

Miranda shook her head at us and giggled. Then she finally opened the door.

"Hey Mr. D. It's good to see you." Miranda greeted the visitor. My daddy.

I bounced off of the couch and into his arms like a little girl.

"Hey Princess." He looked down at me and cradled my face in his hands.

"You doing okay?" He asked.

"I'm doing better than okay." I looked over at Spencer and Miranda and smiled.

"Good." He kissed my head and held me to his chest.

I pulled him over to the couch and made him sit.

"So?" I said.

"She's gone." Is all he said and I grinned.

"How? What did you do?" Hopefully nothing too bad. He was back in my life and I wanted him to stay there.

"Ashley I have been having your mother trailed for the last couple years. You see I wanted a divorce years ago. But I knew that she would have taken every dime that I had in the divorce. It's not a secret that I have been unfaithful. It's all over the tabloids. And we both know that she has been unfaithful too but there wasn't any proof. So I made sure that I had proof. I hired a private investigator to follow her every move. I have quite a bit of dirt on your mother."

I smiled and told him to go on.

"Your mother is half way to Texas as we speak. We have an agreement. She leaves and never comes back unless you ask her to. And I don't go to the police with what I have on her."

"What do you have on her?" I wanted to know what that witch was up to.

"Well like I said I have quite a bit on her. But a few things could get her sent to jail if I went to the police. I have an entire disc of pictures of her buying from her dealers. Even a few videos. Your mother was quite the customer." He looked down and held my hands in his.

"I'm sorry that you had to see her while she was using. I'm sorry that I left you here with her to deal with that on your own. I am sorry that she hit you and I will never forgive myself for allowing that to happen."

"I know but you're making it up for that now." I assured him.

"No. I will never fully make up for that. I'm just glad that you have turned out so well considering."

"Well I've got great friends." I looked over at part of my support system sitting on the other couch.

"Yes you do." He agreed.

"So what else do you have on her?" I know there is more.

He laughed. Whatever it is he has must be good.

"Do you know the twin pool boys?"

"Yeah. Julio and Mateo. They cleaned the pools for about a year for us. I know she was sleeping with one of them." Probably both of them.

"You are partially right. She was actually sleeping with both of them. At the same time." He paused to see my reaction. I just laughed.

"Anyway. She took them both to Cabo with her a couple months ago. I have a lot of pictures of that trip. Some I wish my eyes would have never seen." He shook his head in disgust.

"So what's the big deal with these guys?"

"Julio and Mateo…. Just turned 17 last month." What?

"What? Are you kidding me? They were only 16? They looked like they were at least in their low 20's." I started laughing hysterically. "Oh this is great dad. This is just great."

"So she is gone. She's not going to come back unless you want her to. I wanted to make that your decision."

"Why didn't you just go to the police with what you had on her?" I asked him curiously.

"Because she wouldn't have spent much time behind bars and then she would have gotten out and tried to cause more trouble." It made sense.

"Why would she agree to your terms? She must have known that she wouldn't spend a lot of time in jail as well."

"Your mother is deathly afraid of going to jail. She is claustrophobic and wouldn't be caught dead wearing orange." I laughed.

"Thanks Dad. For everything." I hugged him tight.

"Don't thank me honey. It was my job as a father to protect you. I am just sorry it took me this long to do it."

"What about the divorce?" I asked.

"I am going to file in the morning. But that is not all I am going to do tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to have a chat with my people. I am going to reschedule the dates of the tour that I have missed and I am going to finish out the rest of the dates. Then I'm done for a while. I want to be the dad that you need Ash. The dad you can count on. I want to make you as proud as you make me Princess." I don't bother to try and stop the tears. I guess when I became the new Ashley I became a big cry baby. I didn't care though. This time these were happy tears.

We hugged for what seemed like forever. I didn't want to let him go.

"How bout we go celebrate?" He pulled back and asked me.

"Definitely." I gave him my big cheesy grin.

"You two up for a celebration?" He asked Miranda and Spencer who were both wiping their eyes. Big babies.

"Absolutely." Miranda jumped off the couch and gave me a big bear hug. Then she gave my dad an equally bone crushing hug.

"What about you Blue Eyes?" I love when he called her that.

"I think there is a lot to celebrate. I'm in." She walked over and pulled me into a hug. I am getting used to all these hugs. They made me feel loved.

"I am so happy for you." She whispered in my ear.

"Alright then. Let's go party." My dad yelled.

…..

We ended up at our house. All of my mother's possessions gone. It brought a smile to my face. But it also left me feeling a bit empty. I couldn't explain the feeling. My dad decided he wanted to cook us all dinner. I wasn't going to say no. My dad was an amazing cook. He let me pick the meal. I chose parmesan chicken and fettuccini alfredo. I love Italian food.

While my dad cooked Spencer observed him. He gave her several tips (which she so needed) and they looked like they were enjoying each other's company. Miranda and I sat at the kitchen table waiting patiently. Chatting about random things.

During dinner Spencer held my hand under the table. Every once in a while she would squeeze it and I would look over at her. A shy smile playing on her lips.

I was so in love.

I was so happy.

Life could not possibly get better than this.

"So you two lovely ladies want to join us for a couple days in Malibu?" My dad asked between forkfuls of pasta.

Maybe life could get better. Spencer in a bathing suit. Uh yes!

"Malibu. Oh I am totally in." Miranda said excitingly.

"I don't know. I have a lot of work and reading to catch up on." Spencer said looking down at her plate.

"It's Spring Break. B-r-e-a-k Spence. You're coming." Miranda is so bossy. She is around Spencer too much.

Spencer looked over at Miranda with her "Excuse me" face. I just snickered.

"Come on now. Don't be a party pooper. The house is right on the beach. It's a huge house. Everyone would have their own room. The beach itself is private for a half a mile on both sides. You can read on the beach. Come on Blue Eyes.. live a little."

She tried not to smile at my dad. She looked over at me and I put on the puppy dog eyes and pouted my lip.

"Okay , but just for a couple of days." She finally said.

I was dancing inside. So excited.

I gave Spencer a tour of the house. It ended in my bedroom. Cue eye wiggle.

"Wow. I love it." She said as we entered my bedroom.

"Yeah. It's not bad." My room was pretty awesome.

She walked around examining every inch of it. When she reached the wall of DVD's she pulled out The Notebook and raised her eyebrows at me.

"What's this Ashley?" And I was caught.

"That is probably Casey's. She always leaves her things here." I don't think she bought it.

"Oh it's Casey's huh? What aboooout this one?" She pulled out Casablanca.

"That's a classic. Who doesn't have that one?"

"And this?"

Gone With The Wind. "Another Classic."

"And this?"

Titanic. "Uh did you see the scene with Kate Winslet?"

"Oh and this one?"

Beauty and The Beast. "Belle is hot."

She laughed and walked over to me.

"I think that you that you are a closet Romantic Movie lover Ashley Davies." She said as she pulled me to her by my hips.

I leaned towards her and whispered in her ear. "If I say I am will you kiss me?"

She nodded. "I love romantic movies." I said inches from her face. "And I love …your lips." I leaned in a kissed her gently.

I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling. Thoughts of the last couple days flowing uncontrollably through my mind. Saturday was supposed to be an amazing day for me and for the most part it was. Until, well you know. I finally turned 18 and officially became an adult. I had one of my best performances to date. But it was one of the worst nights of my life. Sunday. Well Sunday was one of the best days of my life. And as I lay here in my big bed staring at the blank ceiling above me I can't understand why I am all of the sudden feeling like I am missing something.

My dad is home. I have the best friend anyone could ask for. And I had Spencer. Sort of. I am happy. Thrilled. Ecstatic. But I don't feel quite whole. What the hell is wrong with me?

At some point my brain finally shut off and I fell asleep.

I woke up Monday morning around 10:30 a.m. I packed a couple bags…okay I packed 5 bags and my guitar. Not my favorite of course since my bitch of a mother went all pawn shop on me and sold it to some stranger. My dad said he could find out who she sold it to considering he had someone following her and monitoring her every move.

We packed up the car and headed to the beach house. Malibu here we come.

**Spencer's P.O.V**

"So we have a bit of a long drive Spence. I think we should have that little chat." Miranda said as we turned off of our street headed for Malibu. It was about an hour drive. I guess I was going to have to talk to her about it.

"What's there to chat about? Didn't Ashley tell you all of the juicy details?" I don't know all of what they talked about. Just what I walked in on.

"Ashley didn't tell me any juicy details. I wasn't aware there were any. Until now that is." She laughed. Great.

"It's okay Spence. We can skip the juicy details."

"What do you want to know Miranda?" This should be fun. Not really.

"Have you always liked girls? Was my brother the exception?" Huh?

"No. Your brother was not the exception. Ashley is. I have never been attracted to a woman before." It was true. There was something about Ashley. Something beyond her appearance.

"That's so crazy." Tell me about it.

"I know." It was crazy. And I was crazy for her. And I can't believe I just said that. Or thought it.

"You must really like her to risk everything. You could lose your job Spence." She was concerned.

"I do really like her. Sometimes I think it may be more than that. But I'm not ready to admit that." She paused. "I know what's at stake. But I can't stay away from her. I can't stop thinking of her." I pull to a stop at a red light and look over at Miranda who is grinning at me like a little girl staring at a Justin Beiber poster. Ugh!

"Stop looking at me like that." I slap her arm playfully.

"But it's just so darn cute. You are in loooove with Ashley."

"I didn't say that." I said 'may be'.

"You didn't have to Spence. I read in between the lines."

"Oh really?" She nodded. "You know to be honest I thought you would be disappointed in me when you found out." I thought she would hate me.

"How could I be disappointed? She makes you happy Spence and vice versa. You were both lonely and miserable. Now you don't have to be. I just want you to be happy and I know Aiden would want that for you too. No matter who it was with. You found someone special. Something incredible and inevitable. I know you won't admit it but you found love again. Cherish it."

"When did you get so insightful?" I chuckled.

"You two inspire me." Is all she said.

After Miranda's speech she announced she was taking a nap. "Wake me up when we get there." She told me.

I had some time to think. _Was_ I in love with Ashley? I am fairly certain I know the answer. I wasn't ready to acknowledge it. I wasn't ready to say it to myself and definitely not out loud. I wanted to be with her. In every way imaginable. I was in so deep and couldn't get out if I wanted to. I didn't want to. She was worth the risks. She was worth the fall. She was worth… '_everything_'.

We finally pulled up to the house around 5 p.m. and I typed in the code to the gate that Ashley gave me. I couldn't believe my eyes when we pulled up the drive. The house itself was a lot smaller than the mansion I was in last night. But what this house lacked in size it gained in appearance. The house was a light cream color and was made up of mostly windows. Both side of the drive were lined with palm trees that were surrounded by orange California poppy's, purple lilies and several different color daisies. It was absolutely breathtaking. But the beauty surrounding me could not have prepared me for the site before me…..

I pulled up behind a big black truck I am guessing belonged to Raife. Ashley was pulling something out of the bed of the truck. She was wearing barely there jean shorts and a red bikini top. Wow!

I must have looked like a fool. I felt a hand touch my chin and push it up.

"You're drooling Spence. Can you uh..keep your mouth closed." Miranda laughed.

Miranda jumped out of the car and ran to Ashley. Nearly hugging the life out of her. Ashley came around to my side of the car and opened my door.

"Hey beautiful." She said and pulled me out of the car.

"Hi" Is all I could get out. She leaned in and kissed my cheek and I instantly felt all warm and tingly inside.

"Let me help you with your bags." I handed her my bags from the back seat and she started walking towards the house. I followed enjoying the view.

We had a barbeque dinner courtesy of Raife. Chicken, ribs, hamburgers and hotdogs. Three different kinds of salads. Corn on the cob. You'd think he was expecting an army there was so much food.

We were all sitting out on the beautiful patio that overlooked the ocean. The patio was covered and it was decorated with strings of lights. It had a couple of rather big lounge chairs, a table to eat, a mini bar, pool table, Jacuzzi, and a stereo. I could totally live here. Ashley had disappeared inside and I wondered what she was doing. I wondered that a lot. What is she doing? Where is she? Is she thinking about me?

Miranda and Raife were in deep conversation. About what I have no clue. My mind had been on Ashley only since the moment we arrived.

A warm hand touched my shoulder and I looked up and her beautiful eyes were staring down at me. She was holding a blanket and a few sweatshirts.

"Come with me." She held her hand out for me. I took it.

We walked down the beach hand in hand. Such a simple thing but so romantic at the same time. We went down to the end of their property. There was a channel that split their private property from another private property. The channel led to a small body of water that housed several docks and boats of every size. We walked over to a dock that was holding a small speed boat.

"It's not a small wooden boat with oars but it's all I got." She gave me a small smile. I just hit me what was going on. She is so damn sweet.

"It's perfect Ashley." I squeezed her hand and pulled her into a hug.

She pulled back. "Can I take you for a ride?"

"You know how to drive this?" I pointed towards the boat.

"It's my boat. I hope I know how to drive it." She said with a chuckle.

"Then yes." She hopped into the boat and then helped me onto it.

**Ashley's P.O.V.**

It was a beautiful night and the sun was about to set. I stopped the boat a couple miles off the shore and dropped the anchor. Spencer looked cold so I offer up a sweatshirt that I brought. I threw one on myself and walked over to the bench at the back of the boat.

"Come here." I opened my arms for her. She sat down between my legs and laid back into me. I put my arms around her. We were cheek to cheek.

"It's so beautiful out here Ash. This is perfect."

I kiss her cheek. "Yes. It is beautiful."

We watched the sunset on my boat in the ocean. I was holding Spencer and she was holding my hand drawing patterns on the back of it with her thumb. No sounds except for the waves. Everything in this moment was perfect.

"Thank you for bringing me here Ashley. This is so amazing." She said and then kissed my cheek.

"You're welcome. I'm sorry I couldn't get the singing fish and birds to come. They were all busy." I joked.

"I don't need the singing birds and fish Ash. Just being here with you under the moonlight is romantic enough for me." She pulled my arms around her tighter.

We talked about random things for a little while. It was getting late but neither of us wanted to go back.

It was quiet and I didn't want to break the peaceful moment but I had something I had been wanting to ask her for a while.

"Spence?"

"Yeah."

"Will you tell me about Aiden?" I hoped it was okay to ask.

She didn't say at first and I got scared. I immediately regretted asking. Then finally…

"Aiden and I met my first year of college. He was stationed in a city about 50 miles from the campus. He was on campus with some friends for a football game. We met at a party and we connected. We talked for months over the phone and we fell in love. It was hard at first because he was staying 50 miles away but we made it work.

Sometime in my junior year he had got the call that his parents were killed. He had no choice but to go home and take care of Miranda. He didn't want to move her away from her home since she had just lost their parents so he moved here. I stayed with them during the summer. He asked me to marry him and I said yes. I was so in love with him and I wanted to help him with Miranda. We got married 5 weeks later at a court house. It wasn't the most romantic wedding but we didn't care. I went back to school for my senior year and as soon as I graduated I moved out here. I found a job right away at the University and he got sent to Iraq." I could hear her voice starting to crack.

"I'm sorry Spence." I said holding her tighter.

"It's okay. That's life right?" She turned in my arms and faced me.

"I'm happy right now Ashley. I'm happy here with you."

The temperature dropped about 10 degrees. It was getting cold so we headed in. Spencer stood in front of me. Her hands on the wheel and my arms around her waist. The water was calm so driving the boat was as easy as driving a car. I took over as we got closer to the channel. I pulled into the dock and Spencer grabbed onto the pole to keep us close. I tied the boat to the 2 poles and we made our way back to the beach.

As we walked back to the house we talked some more. I learned a lot about Spencer. She liked to dress like a princess when she was a toddler. She broke her right arm when she was 8. Her first crush was on Justin Timberlake. She loves to read and write poetry. She loves Plays and going to concerts. She likes to fish and go bowling. All of these things making me love her more.

We were almost home and I stopped walking and pulled her into me. I kissed her softly and pressed my forehead to hers. Then I took her hand and placed it on my skin right above my heart.

"You feel that? That's all you. You have my heart Spence." I whispered. Our foreheads still pressed together.

Then I took my other hand and caressed her cheek before sliding it down passed her neck and between her breasts. I held my hand just above her heart.

"Please tell me I have yours too." My voice was a little shaky. A little scared.

She took both of her hands and cradled my face. She kissed me gently and then pressed her forehead to mine.

"You do." She whispered back.

_**Reviews are very much welcome. Good or Bad :)**_


	24. Chapter 24 Whole

_**Thanks everyone for the reviews.**_

_**A Mind That Sits Still-**_Trust me on this...Aiden is dead. And I love disney movies Beauty and The Beast is my fave :)

_**Acurcuru**_- Hey you never know. Someone could say something bad. I wouldn't mind. I like a little constructive criticism. Thanks.

_**PurpleLover92**_ - Christine is nasty. You will find out about Ashley's unsureness in this chapter. I don't know about shit hitting the fan. At least not yet anyway ;)

_**FriendlyGirl333**_- Yes! I know exactly how exciting it is to see an update on a story. I am a ff reader too. You don't have to be my slave..lol. Just keep reading and reviewing :)

_**noodles307**_- I know I want a beach house like that too. And no worries...there is A LOT of story left to tell here :)

_**momo0424**_- It was one of my favorite chapters too. As a reader and a writer. Thanks :)

_**naranga87**_- You had me at "Wow!" lol. Hope you enjoy this chapter you my cheeky lady friend ;)

_**lisarichie**_- Glad I could make you smile. Hope I can continue to :)

_**bobo02**_- Yes thank God the evil witch is gone. I am going to try to keep up with the touching Spashley scenes. Hope you enjoy the next chapter. :) Thanks.

_I own nothing but my imagination along with Miranda, Casey and Alyssa._

_**This chapter is **__**Rated M**__**.**_

* * *

><p><em>We were almost home and I stopped walking and pulled her into me. I kissed her softly and pressed my forehead to hers. Then I took her hand and placed it on my skin right above my heart.<em>

_"You feel that? That's all you. You have my heart Spence." I whispered. Our foreheads still pressed together._

_Then I took my other hand and caressed her cheek before sliding it down passed her neck and between her breasts. I held my hand just above her heart._

_"Please tell me I have yours too." My voice was a little shaky. A little scared._

_She took both of her hands and cradled my face. She kissed me gently and then pressed her forehead to mine._

_"You do." She whispered back_

Those two words affected me more than anything ever has. I never thought I would fall in love let alone someone would fall in love with me. She had my heart and that was scary because that meant it was hers for the breaking as well. I did everything but hand it over to her on a silver platter. The moment I locked eyes with hers my heart no longer belonged to me. It belonged to her. It only beat for her.

Knowing now that I had her heart was equally if not more scary. I had been a fuck up most of my life. I was terrified that if I had the chance to love someone I would just end up hurting them because I just don't know how to not be miserable. I let my mother's thoughts of me become my own. I let myself believe I didn't deserve happiness. I didn't deserve to love or be loved. I didn't know how to love. I could never be someone that one could fall in love with.

She was wrong. I was wrong. I have never been so happy to be wrong. I was so in love with Spencer. I loved making her happy. I loved making her smile. I loved making her laugh. I loved making her blush. I loved making her heart race. It was all so effortless. It was natural. Loving her is what I was meant to do. I truly believe that. If there was such a thing as fate. It was us. My mother and her thoughts could go fuck themselves. Sorry.

"Where are you Ash?" Spencer asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah" I laughed. "Just thinking."

After our long overdue confessions we sat down in the sand. I held her tight in front of me. Neither one of us wanted to let this night end.

"You seem to do a lot of thinking when we are together. Am I that boring?" She joked.

"No Spence. Not at all. I'm just not used to all of this. I'm a little overwhelmed." I buried my face in her neck and kissed it.

"We're in this together Ashley. I'm scared to you know. You need to talk to me. I want to know what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours." She turned her head and kissed me softly.

"I want to talk to you about it Spence but not right now. I just want to sit here with you and enjoy this moment." I pulled her by the back of her head and kissed her. This kiss a lot deeper than any of the others we shared tonight.

We crept up the stairs careful to not wake my dad and Miranda. It was nearly 2am. When we got to my door I pulled Spencer into my room.

"Ash I should go to my room." She whispered.

"What? No. Why?" I didn't want to let her go.

"I'm tired and I need to get some sleep." She explained.

"You can sleep with me Spence. I promise I will be good." I walked up to her slowly and grabbed her hand pulling her closer to me. "I promise. We'll just sleep."

"But I can't promise that Ashley. I don't know if I can control myself if I get in that bed with you." She admitted. It was dark in the room but I could see her face redden.

"I see." I pull her closer and hold her by her hips. "I want you too Spence. I want every part of you." I tilted my head and kissed her. Not softly this time. Nope. My hands still on her hips I push her against the door. She whimpered. I stopped.

"I'm sorry. Did I hurt y.." I didn't get to finish because her lips were on mine and her tongue was desperately searching for mine. Her hands were in my hair keeping me close. I reached my hands around to her behind and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around me and the feeling of her center against mine caused a loud moan to escape from my throat. The kisses got hungry and needy and sloppy. We were devouring each other's mouths. I left her mouth and trailed open mouth kisses down her neck. I heard a thud and looked up to see Spencer's head hit the back of the door. Her mouth wide open and her eyes closed. It was turning me on the way she was reacting to my touch. I bit down on her neck lightly and then licked up to her ear. I nibbled on the lobe and then flicked my tongue across it. Her body was rested on my hips and I trailed my hands up her sides under her shirt. She shivered and moaned quietly. "Take it off." She begged. I didn't think twice. I lifted her shirt from the bottom and pulled it up over her head. Staring down at Spencer in her red laced bra sent my hormones into overdrive. I attacked her mouth again and instantly found her tongue sucking it slowly. I let out a little whimper of my own. My hands were running up and down her arms slowly. They made their way up to her shoulders and slowly pulled her bra straps down. I kissed her chin and then licked down her neck and then softly kissed her shoulder letting my tongue slip out to taste her skin. I couldn't wait any longer to taste the skin lower so I looked at Spencer for approval. She was staring at me. Blue eyes now very dark. Mouth still open. She nodded. I wasn't at a good angle so I moved us over to the bed and set her down on the edge. Then I kneeled down on the floor in front of her. I looked up at her one last time and her facial expression hadn't changed. I ducked my head and kissed the top of her breast. Her hands found my hair again and she pulled me closer. I kissed the top of her other breast and then made my way slowly down with more soft kisses. Her nipples were hard and begging to be touched. I hovered over her left breast and slipped my tongue out grazing the nipple over the lace. She threw her head back again and gripped my hair tighter. I did the same with the other nipple. I slowly reached around and un-did her bra. She dropped her arms and let it slide down them. I pulled back so I could take in the view. My breathing stopped as I stared at her perfect breasts. I look back to Spencer's eyes. They were looking back at me full of lust and something else I had never seen before when in this position.. Love. I caressed her cheek and then traced her lips with my fingers.

"You're so beautiful Spence." I leaned in and kissed her lips softly. Then with one hand on each breast I rolled her nipples under my fingers. She moaned and leaned back propping herself up with her hands. I lowered my head and took a nipple into my mouth. She jerked back and moaned a little louder this time. I was so turned on and I could start to feel the wetness between my legs. Holy fuck this woman was so damn sexy when she moaned. I swirled my tongue around her hard nipple and then bit down gently. She jerked again and I let go. I moved over and did the same with the other breast causing the same reaction. Her center grinded up against mine and she moaned out my name. I lost what little control I still had. I pushed her down onto the bed and climbed on top of her. I looked down at the beauty below me. Her blonde hair was sprawled out over the bed. Her bare chest rising and falling while she panted. Her mouth slightly open and usually crystal blue eyes dark as night. I took both of her hands and put them over her head and lowered my head back to her breasts. Taking my time I licked and sucked on each nipple before making my way slowly down her stomach. I let go of her hands and they found my hair right away. She pulled my head back up to her. My mouth found hers again and I moaned into it. She lowered her hands from my head and trailed them down my back and rested them on the back of my thighs. She gripped onto them and pulled me into her center. We both moaned loudly into each other's mouths and I bit her lip in reaction. No inner dialogue interrupting this time. I wanted her so bad and I was not about to stop for anything. My hands left the breast I was caressing and trailed slowly down her smooth stomach. I reached for the button of her jeans and she jumped.

"Wait!" She said. "Damn it." She said out of breath .She covered her face with her hands.

"Spence are you okay?" I moved her hands from her face.

"I'm sorry. I want this. I do. I want you. All of you." She said quickly.

"But…" There was a but coming.

"I'm not ready for that yet. I want it to be special. More special." She moved to sit up and I climbed off of her. I walked over and picked up her shirt off the floor. I came back to the bed and handed it to her before sitting back down next to her. I looked away as she put it back on.

She looked at me sadly and grabbed my hands.

"I'm really sorry Ashley. I shouldn't have let it get that far. You just…God the way you touch me." She looked away embarrassed.

"Spence don't." I reached my hand up to her face and pulled it back to face me.

"It's okay. I probably shouldn't have gone that far." I paused. "I want it to be perfect too. And even though this place is beautiful it's not perfect. My dad and Miranda are right down the hall. So I am sorry. I just couldn't stop."

"I didn't want you to stop. I told you I wouldn't be able to control myself. Looks like you had the same problem." She laughed.

"I wouldn't call it a problem. You are so damn sexy Spencer. I've wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you." I admitted.

"I know. Trust me I wanted you too and that was soooo confusing. You're so beautiful Ash. And sexy. And sweet. And amazing in every way." She kissed me softly while she ran her fingers down my cheeks.

"I'm going to go to my room and take a shower. A coold shower." She laughed.

"Yeah I should probably take one too." I slid out of the bed and helped her off of it. "Are you going to come back?" I asked.

She didn't answer right away. She was debating with herself. "I don't know if I should. But…I will." She kissed me again.

"Good. I promise this time I will be good." I chuckled.

She left and I jumped into the shower. I spent a lot more time than I should of in there. I was in desperate need of a release. The burning and aching in my lower body needed to be 'taken care of' before I got back into bed with Spencer.

After putting on a pair of pajama shorts and a white tank top I brushed my hair and teeth and walked back into the bedroom.

I smiled at the sight before me. Spencer was already in my bed. Curled up under the covers. Snoring quietly. I walked over and slowly slid into the bed so I wouldn't wake her. I stopped when I was about a foot from her face. I leaned in and kissed her forehead before settling into a comfortable position. I don't know how long I watched her sleep. I just couldn't close my eyes. The most beautiful being on this earth was sleeping next to me. I was so damn lucky.

I woke up and felt cold. I was in my big empty bed alone. Looking over at the clock I see that is passed noon. I sighed. After putting a pair of shorts and a tight shirt over my bikini I headed downstairs. I passed the office and saw that my dad was in there. He was having a conference call with his 'people'. I moved on to the kitchen and spotted Miranda in the fridge.

"Well hey there sleepy head. About time you woke up." She teased while closing the fridge. She started pouring herself a glass of lemonade.

"Good afternoon Sunshine." I said while grabbing a bagel off the counter and taking a big bite.

She hopped up onto the counter and took a sip of her lemonade.

"So Prince Eric, what's on the agenda for today?" Huh? I gave her my 'What the fuck' look.

"Prince Eric?" I asked confused.

"Yeah Prince Eric, you know from The Little Mermaid. Spence told me what you did last night. That was sweet Ash." She smiled.

"It was just a boat ride Sunshine. No biggie." I played it down.

"Sure whatever you say. What's with the new nickname?" She asked.

"Sunshine?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know. I guess because being in the sunshine always makes me happy. Sorta like you." She smiled and shook her head.

"Always the charmer Prince Eric..I mean Ashley." She hopped up off the counter and pulled me into a hug.

"I guess Sunshine is better than Doc." She said when she pulled back. I laughed.

"Keep calling me Prince Eric and I promise I will think of an even better name." I winked and walked outside still eating my bagel.

I spotted Spencer down by the water lying on a towel in the sand. Taking the long walk down to the water I stopped and pulled a lily out of the ground. When I approached Spencer I had to stop and take a deep breath. She was wearing a black and white polka dotted bikini. O…M…G did she look fucking sexy. She could seriously be a swimsuit model. I know I am biased but I have been with a lot of woman so I know what I am talking about. Trust me. On a scale of one to ten Spencer was definitely a 69. Why is the number 69 popping into my head? Oh boy, forget I said that. I moved so that I was blocking the sun from shinning on her.

"Enjoying the view?" She asked with her eyes still closed.

"Mmm, thoroughly." I answered.

"Didn't see enough last night?" She asked with a little laugh.

"I don't think I could ever see enough of you Spence. In case you didn't realize you are smokin' hot."

"Maybe I should go take a swim and cool off." She finally opened her eyes. Squinting a bit. She smiled and I felt my knees go weak. Is that normal?

"Maybe later we can go for a swim together. Maybe with less on." I winked and she shook her head.

"Sit." She said pointing next to her and throwing me her towel that she was using for a pillow.

I spread out the towel, sat down and handed her the lily.

"For you my lady." She smiled again and put the flower up to her nose.

"Thank you Ash. It's beautiful." She rolled to her side and grabbed my hand entwining our fingers.

I rolled to my side and we just stared at each other. I had never had this with anyone. There was no need for conversation. This was something I never imagined I would have with someone… Intimacy. I broke the silence when I remembered I was a little mad at her.

"You know that wasn't very nice of you." I paused and she looked confused. "Leaving me up in the big, cold empty bed while you laid around down here practically nude for everyone to see but me." I pouted and she laughed.

"Well I figured you could use some sleep. You know since you were up all morning watching me sleep." She smirked.

"What? How do you know I was watching you sleep?" She was right.

She moved in closer so she was inches from my face.

"I always know when you are watching me Ashley. In the classroom, in the club, last night. I can always feel your eyes on me." She whispered.

"Ah yes. I remember. You called it gawking." I whispered back.

"Yes but I was mad at you then." She looked down briefly. "I like the way you stare at me. I always have. You make me feel so many things that I can't even begin to describe." She took my cheek in her hand. "Your eyes are so deep, so beautiful, so full of life. I loose myself in them Ashley."

As I stare back into her crystal blues I find myself doing that exact same thing.

"I know exactly what you mean." I lean in and give her a soft kiss.

"Alright you two. As much as I love seeing you guys happy. I am bored out of my mind. Let's do something." Miranda whined.

We both laughed. "What do you want to do?" I asked her.

"I don't know. Anything."

"Waterskiing?" I suggest.

"Uh no. I don't want to die today." Dramatic much?

I laugh. "Okay, surfing."

"Like I said, I don't want to die today." Such a baby.

"Um. We could play volleyball."

"There are only 3 of us." Ugh.

"We could go skinny dipping." I look over at Spencer and wink. She shakes her head and laughs.

"Ewww. No thank you." Party pooper.

"Well Miss No Fun what do you want to do then?"

"How about I take you lovely ladies on a trip down the coast?" My dad suggests out of nowhere.

"Now that sounds like fun." Miranda says.

"Great. I'll go pack us up some snacks. You girls go get what you need. We will probably be gone until dinner."

Miranda ran into the house. My dad right behind her.

"Well I don't think we're going to get much alone time today. You think you can handle that?" I asked Spencer.

"Oh I think I'll be alright. I don't know about you though. You think you can handle it?"

"No problem. Just promise me you'll try to keep your hands and lips to yourself today. Wouldn't want to make my dad and Miranda uncomfortable."

"Me? What about you?" We both got up and folded our towels. Spencer got very close and whispered in my ear. "As I recall it was your hands and lips that were all over me last night." I got the tingly's when she was this close to me.

"Mmm. I remember." I said while the events of last night re-played in my head.

Spencer hit me in the arm. "Oww! See you can't keep your hands to yourself."

"We'll see." Is all she said as she left me and started walking towards the house.

We made our way to the marina. The look on Miranda and Spencer's faces when they saw my dad's boat was priceless. My dad didn't have just any boat. It was a lot bigger than mine. Like 5 sizes bigger than mine. My dad had a 70ft yacht. The perfect party boat. Oh yeah I know from experience.

We started our trip down the coast. Spencer and Miranda were on the deck and I made my way towards them. They were both just taking in the scenery. Well I was about to give Spencer a whole new kind of scenery. One I knew she would enjoy more. By the end of the day she wouldn't be able to keep her hands off of me. I was going to make sure of that. I had a point to prove.

They were both leaning on the railing. As I passed them I made sure to brush Spencer's back softly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her eyes following me. I laid down a towel on the deck and set my sun lotion down. Then very slowly I lifted my shirt over my head. Just like in the movies. Picture it. Then I unbuttoned my jean shorts and sloooowly pushed them down my legs. She was so 'gawking' at me this time. I sat down on my towel and began to lotion myself up. As I turn towards Spencer I notice she has flipped around and is leaning up against the railing facing me now. There is a small smile playing on her lips but her eyes are covered by her sunglasses. I just laugh and lay down on my towel.

A couple hours later we were sitting in the back of the boat snacking on some fruit. I decided to torture Spencer some more. I grabbed a strawberry and dipped it in some chocolate. I put it to my mouth and slowly sucked the chocolate off of it. Then I bit into it. When I looked over at Spencer her mouth was partially open. Her eyes were hidden again by those damn sunglasses but I could tell my plan was working. She quickly got up and moved into the other room.

"What was that all about?" Miranda asked.

"I have no clue." I answered with a smirk.

Throughout the day I did all I could think of to get a reaction out of Spencer. From stretching my well-formed body when I didn't really need to. To bending over right in front of her. To reaching over her shoulder to get something behind her that I didn't even need. To 'accidently' stumbling into her back and pressing myself up against her.

She was breaking. Slowly but surely. She was breaking. I had her right where I wanted her.

The boat trip came to an end and we gathered up our belongings. I finally put my clothes back on and I could see the look of disappointment on Spencer's face. But at the same time she looked relieved. I just snickered at her reaction. We headed back to the house and my dad once again prepared dinner. Spencer helped him this time. I think she was just looking for a distraction.

"So what the hell was all of that today?" Miranda asked while we were setting the table out on the patio.

"What are you talking about?" She notices everything.

"You and Spencer. The silent flirting. You torturing her." Wow. She saw all of that.

"Oh nothing. Just trying to prove a point." I smiled and snickered.

"What point would that be?"

"That Spence can't behave herself."

"Did I miss something? She was practically by my side all day. When did she have time to mis-behave? Never mind. I don't want any details." She shivered.

"Easy there. She hasn't misbehaved yet…..But she will before this night's over." I laughed and walked back into the house.

After dinner we all sat out on the beach. My dad made a fire and we were roasting marshmallows. Soon after that Miranda announced she was going to bed. It was early but she was feeling a bit nauseous from the boat ride. My dad left a couple minutes after her. He said he had to make a phone call. I think he was just trying to give us some time alone. Spencer was leaving tomorrow night. I was not happy with that.

"Come here." I said to Spencer as I patted on the blanket next to me. She was sitting too far away. Wonder why. Hehe.

She hesitated but then moved closer. She put another marshmallow on her stick and put it in the fire. We didn't say anything. We just sat there. It was peaceful.

After eating her marshmallow I noticed she had a bit left on her lip.

"Spence." I said and she looked at me. I reached up and wiped the marshmallow off of her lip with my fingers.

"You had a little…" She leaned in and started kissing me before I had a chance to finish. She did that a lot.

Looks like she finally broke.

She stopped suddenly and looked into my eyes.

"You win." Is all she said and then she went back to kissing me.

She climbed on top of me and started kissing my neck. I had been waiting for this all day and I was so ready for it. I needed to feel her lips on mine again. I needed to taste her again so I pulled her head back up and slipped my tongue in her mouth.

"Ahem." I faintly heard. But nothing was going to pull me away from her.

"Ahem." I heard again and Spencer pulled back.

My dad was standing 10 ft. away holding a phone.

"Sorry. I tried calling you from the door but I guess you didn't hear. Spencer your phone has been ringing since I got back to the house. I think you might want to check it out." He handed her the phone and apologized again before heading back in.

She opened it and instantly her face turned white with worry.

"What's wrong?" I asked and I grabbed her hand.

"My brother called about 8 times. There's a text but I am afraid to look at it." She said with a shaky voice.

"Do you want me to read it?" I asked and she handed me the phone.

I took the phone from her and read the message. It was from her brother Glen.

_Spence, grandma's real sick. Please call me back. Love you_.

I swallowed the big lump in my throat and turned to Spencer.

"Glen wants you to call him. Your…" I paused. "Your grandma is real sick."

She looked away briefly and when she looked back at me there were tears forming in her eyes.

I handed her the phone and she just stared at it. Then she stood up and walked towards the ocean. I saw her lift the phone to her ear. When she came back to me she was full on crying. I stood up and pulled her into a hug. A feeling came over me that I had never experienced. I got choked up. I couldn't handle seeing her like this. I could feel her pain and it killed me. But I knew I had to be strong for her. That much I did know.

"I have to go home Ash. I have to see her." She mumbled into my shoulder.

"I know Baby. She needs you. Your family needs you." I held her tighter.

She pulled back and found my eyes.

"I need you right now Ashley. I just need you to hold me." She cried and I held her. We sat back down in the sand. I didn't know what else to do or what to say. So I just held her.

I helped her get to her room and change into her pajamas. She laid down in her bed and I pulled the covers over her.

"Ashley. Where are you going? Don't leave." She begged. "I need you with me tonight."

"I'm just going to change and use the bathroom. I'll be right back. I promise." She nodded and I left.

When I got back to her room she was staring up at the ceiling. She saw me and wiped her eyes. I slid into the bed and she rolled onto her side so I could hold her.

"I can't lose her Ash. She's like another parent to me. She helped me become who I am today. She was my rock. I can't lose her Ashley. I just can't."

"It's okay Spence. You're gonna go home and see her and everything is going to be alright." I kissed her head.

"You don't know that Ash."

"You're right I don't. I just don't know what else to say." I admitted.

"You don't have to say anything. Just being in your arms and feeling your warmth is enough for me."

My heart was hurting for her. I just wanted to take away all of her sadness and pain. I wanted to say the right thing to make her feel better. I wanted to do the right thing to make her feel better. But I knew I couldn't and that fucking killed me. So I just held her firmly in my arms.

"I love you Spence." It was the first time I said it and I know it was the right time.

She didn't say anything at first. She spun around in my arms and looked into my eyes. Blue meeting brown and becoming one.

"I love you too Ashley." She whispered and then laid her head on my chest.

I woke up the next morning cold. In my big, empty bed alone again. I looked over to where Spencer was sleeping and found a lily along with a note.

I rubbed my eyes and reached for the note.

_Dear Ashley,_

_Thank you for being so wonderful last night. I needed you more than you will ever know and you were there for me. My flight leaves at 10 a.m. I'm sorry I didn't wake you. I don't think I could have handled saying goodbye. I don't know how long I am going to be there but I will call you as soon as I can. I talked to your dad and Miranda is going to stay with you while I am gone. Take care of each other._

_I love you Ashley._

_Love,_

_Spencer_

I wiped my eyes and sighed. I missed her already. I wish I could have gone with her but I knew that was not an option.

I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. When I passed the dresser I saw another note. It was folded up and propped on the top of the dresser. It said my name on the front. It looked like a poem the way it was written.

_You walked into my life,_

_And took me by surprise,_

_You made me feel so loved,_

_You made me feel alive._

_You moved me with your words,_

_They hit me like a train,_

_You held me in your arms,_

_And you took away the pain._

_You opened my mind,_

_I see everything so clear,_

_You took me by the hand,_

_And you chased away the fear._

_You looked into my eyes,_

_And saw straight to my soul,_

_You took what was left of my heart,_

_And you made it whole._

I sat down on my bed with the note still in my hand and I cried. I wasn't Ashley the fuck up anymore. I wasn't even the new Ashley anymore. I was the Ashley that Spencer fell in love with. I was the Ashley that could do those things she said I did. I had always been that Ashley. I just didn't believe in myself or have anyone that believed in me that way. As I sat there holding the two notes from Spencer I couldn't help but smile. I was somebody that could make someone happy. That could make someone feel loved, needed and alive. Not just with Spencer but Miranda too. I was someone that I could even love. I realized in that moment that the part of my heart that was missing was the belief and love that I needed in myself. For myself. It was then that I also realized that I no longer felt that emptiness anymore. Just like Spencer. My heart was….. Whole.

_**Review if you wish...please :)**_

_The poem was written by me :)_


	25. Chapter 25 Feels like home

_**Thanks for the reviews everyone. They make me sooo happy :)**_

_**I have been doing quite a bit of P.O.V. hopping between Ash and Spencer. Are you guys okay with that?**_

_I own nothing but my imagination, Miranda, Casey and Alyssa_.

Wednesday went by sloooooow. I missed Spencer so much and she had only been gone half a day. I spent the day with Miranda and my dad. Who were both trying their hardest to distract me. So of course we went shopping. I helped my dad pick out a dozen outfits or so for the rest of his tour. That was fun. He wears the craziest stuff. Miranda and I sat outside his dressing room while he tried on several outfits. We had a lot of fun watching him model for us. I don't think I have ever laughed as hard and as much. We went to dinner at Howdy's Rancho Café. A Mexican restaurant across from the beach. We were there for nearly 3 hours. My dad couldn't take a bite without someone trying to get a picture or his autograph. It was annoying. It made me rethink my future in the music business. I hated being bothered by people I didn't know. Boy was I in trouble.

I managed to go most of the day without thinking of Spencer…that couldn't be farther from the truth.

After about the 200th time I checked my phone my dad took it from me. He gave it back to me when we got back to the house. I missed her call. I was so bummed.

_Hey Ash. Just wanted to call and tell you that my grandma is doing well. She had a heart attack but she is going to make a full recovery. Please let Miranda know. She wasn't answering her phone either. I hope you guys aren't causing too much trouble._

She laughed.

_So , uh call me when you can okay. I miss you and…..I love you. Bye._

It warmed my heart hearing those words from her and I couldn't help but hide the smile that formed automatically on my lips. And I didn't want to.

I was so happy to hear that Spencer's grandma was going to be okay. I couldn't handle seeing Spencer sad.

**Spencer's P.O.V.**

I went straight to the hospital when my plane landed. On the way I called and told Glen that I was home. He informed me that my grandma was doing better but was still not out of the woods. I had to see her. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I felt guilty for that.

She had a heart attack and I couldn't help but wonder what she felt like. Was she scared? Probably. It made me feel even more guilty that I wasn't there. I know I shouldn't feel guilty and she wouldn't want me to but I did.

When I got to her room she was watching some sappy soap opera. She was shaking her head and yelling at the T.V.

I knocked and she looked up. A big smile on her face.

"Spencer my dear, how lovely to see you. Come here and give Gram a hug." I walked over to her bed and sat down on the side. I leaned over and hugged her carefully. I had always felt safe and warm in my grandma's arms as a kid and that hadn't changed over the years.

"Please tell me you are going to be okay Gram." I begged her. Tears threatening to fall. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Oh Sweetheart I am going to be just fine. Don't you think if I was about to die everyone would be hovering around me waiting. I'm stubborn my dear. I ain't going til I am good and ready. Besides God ain't ready for the likes of me yet." I laughed at her easiness and humor. After all of these years she was still the funniest person I knew.

"So how's life in L.A.? How is Miranda?"

"Things are great Gram. Miranda is doing really well considering everything she has been through." I paused. "I'm happy Gram. No worries."

"A lot has changed in a month then. Last time we chatted you sounded down. I was worried about you Darling. But you do look happy. You're practically beaming." She was eyeing me curiously. "So who's the lucky guy?"

I laughed. "What makes you think there is a guy?"

"Look at these wrinkles Sweetheart. I wasn't born yesterday and no matter what your mother says I am not an old , senile hag."

If you couldn't tell my grandmother and my mother did not get along. My grandmother was angry with my mother for being away so much and not raising her family.

I couldn't lie to my grandma. At least not about being in love. The being in love with a girl part I thought best to leave out. The woman just had a heart attack and I wasn't about to give her another one. Even though my grandmother was an amazing woman who had a very big heart, I didn't know how she would take it. Sexuality is not something we ever talked about.

"You're right Gram. I did meet someone. I met someone amazing and I fell hard. I am in love Gram. I am so in love it's crazy." I couldn't hide the smile. I know I looked like a love sick fool but I didn't care." I paused to see her smiling at me adoringly. "I never thought I would find love again and so soon. But I did. I can't think straight."

"What's he like?" You don't know how badly I wanted to correct her with a "she".

"Where do I start? Smart, funny, sweet, strong, sexy, romantic, charming, caring, gorgeous, and very talented. I could go on all night Gram." I know I was staring into space. Lost in a world with only Ashley and me in it.

"Is this person real? Does he have any flaws?" She looked at me like I was crazy and I just laughed.

"Flaws? Stubborn, extremely cocky." That is all I could come up with.

"Those aren't really flaws Honey. He seems too good to be true. How is he in bed?" What!

"Gram! I can't believe you just asked me that." That's my Gram for you.

"Answer the question Spencer?" She was serious.

"I wouldn't know Gram. We haven't slept together yet. Well we have slept together but we haven't had sex. But from what we have done. Gram..It was amazing." There I go with the love sick fool grin again.

"How long have you two been seeing each other?"

"Not long. It's complicated but I wasn't ready for a relationship."

"Love is always complicated my dear." She took my hand and patted it.

"So what is the name of this perfect human being?"

I couldn't lie and make up a name. I already felt bad enough going along with the "he" part.

"Ashley." I said.

"You're kidding me? You have a boy's name and he has a girl's name. You two are perfect for each other."

"When do I get to meet this Ashley?"

"Easy Gram. Too soon for that." It wasn't too soon. I wanted to introduce Ashley to everyone. I wanted to announce to the world that she was mine. But first I had to tell my family that I was in love with a girl. Oh yeah and she had to graduate from High School.

"Is this Ashley in love with you too?"

"Yes Gram."

"Then it's not too soon." She's so pushy.

"We'll see. First we have to get you well and out of this hospital bed."

"Okay Mrs. Carlin time for your bath." Said the nurse that just walked through the door.

"This should be fun." Gram whispered and then frowned. I laughed.

"I'm going to go get some coffee. I will be back shortly." I kissed her forehead and headed towards the door. "Behave Gram." I said with a wink.

**Ashley's P.O.V.**

I opened my phone and hit the call button. Spencer's name popped up 'Mrs. Davies' and I laughed. Miranda must have been playing with my phone again. The phone rang 4 times and I started to get worried. I wanted to hear her voice so badly.

"Hello" That is so not Spencer's voice. Did Miranda change the number too? I am going to kill her.

"Uh. Hello. Is this Spencer Dennison's phone?" I asked confused.

"Sure is. My granddaughter is unavailable but leave me your name Doll and I will tell her you called." Spencer's grandma?

"My name is Ashley."

"Ashley?" She questioned.

"Yep. Ashley Davies. Is this Gram?" She sounded really good.

"It certainly is my Dear. It's a pleasure Ashley. It's nice to put a voice to the name." She paused. "I've heard a lot about you. Well unless there is another Ashley in my granddaughter's life."

"Um not that I know of. I've heard a lot about you too Gram." She had such a soothing voice. It had a little bit of a southern draw to it. I would have to ask Spencer about that later.

"Spencer tells me that you make her extremely happy. Do you know how happy that makes me? I was so worried about her in that big, crazy city practically alone after her husband died. I am so relieved that she found someone. And from what I hear you are quite the someone. I was starting to believe she made you up so I wouldn't worry."

"She didn't make me up. I'm a real person. I promise."

"So Ashley what do you do for a living?" Uh oh. I guess Spencer didn't tell her that I was still in High School. I am not surprised.

"Uh, I'm a musician." That wasn't a lie.

"A musician huh? So my granddaughter is a groupie?"

"No." I laughed. "But she _is_ a big fan and my inspiration."

"So what else do you do Musician?" Uhhhhh?

"I'm a student." Please don't ask what school.

"Oh I see. Do you go to UCLA?" She asked with a hint of excitement in her voice.

"Yes." I said so fast without thinking.

"Is that where you and Spencer met?"

"Yep." I kept my answers short hoping she would drop the conversation.

"Sorry for grilling you my Dear. I just worry about Spencer. I am so over the moon happy that she found you. She looks really well and quite blissful. Not to mention every time she talks about you she has this goofy grin on her face and her eyes twinkle. Thank you Ashley. Thank you for making her laugh again. For bringing the light back to those beautiful eyes."

"Um. You're welcome. Ya know it's so easy to love her. She is an amazing woman." I wanted to cry. What her grandma said hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew that Spencer loved me but I didn't know she was that crazy about me.

"You keep on making my girl smile and you can be my new BFF. You wouldn't mind having an old lady like myself as your best friend would ya?" This lady is a riot.

"No. Not at all. I would be honored. Spencer speaks highly of you as well Gram. She says you are a big part of who she is today. For that I am grateful. You must be an incredible woman for Spencer to have such a great amount of respect for you. I would love to have you as a friend. Best friend of course." I laughed.

"Fabulous. As soon as I get out of this torture chamber I am going to make us some friendship bracelets."

"Sounds good Gram." I laugh again.

"Okay I have been silly enough. Don't want to end up in the loony bin after being in this crap hole."

**Spencer's P.O.V.**

"Well Ashley I hope I get to meet you soon. Now if you will excuse me I am in the middle of a sponge bath with Delilah here. Talk to you later Darling."

Uh oh.

She looked over at me as I leaned against the door frame. I didn't know what to say. She didn't seem mad.

"You've got some explaining to do Pumpkin." I was scared until I saw her smile.

"I'm sorry I lied Gram. I just didn't know if it was the right time to tell you or how to tell you. I didn't know if your heart could handle it." I looked down.

"Come here." She patted on the bed next to her.

I walked over and sat down on the bed. She pulled me into her side.

"Hush now Darling. I couldn't care less what Ashley has in between her legs. What matters is that she makes you happy. You've found love again Spencer. That's special. That's rare. Grab a hold of that love and never let it go." I nuzzled into my Gram's arms.

"Ahem." We both jump and see my Dad standing in the doorway. And judging by the look on his face he heard the whole conversation.

"Hi Dad." Say something please.

"Hi Sweetheart." He finally smiles and opens his arms.

I get up from the bed and walk into his arms.

"It's good to see you Spence." He kissed the top of my head.

"I missed you Dad." I mumble into his chest.

"I missed you too."

After spending the rest of the day with Gram, Dad and I left around 8 p.m. and went to get a late dinner. We had just ordered and he finally asked what I knew he had wanted to ask all night.

"What's going on with this Ashley girl Spence?" He didn't look mad or happy. He just looked neutral.

"How much did you hear?" I looked down at my Coke, playing with the straw.

"Are you really in love with this girl?" He asked straight faced.

I pursed my lips and looked down again. When I looked back up at him I smiled.

"Yes." I said proudly.

"Okay. When did this happen?"

"Over the last month. I don't know how. It just happened." I took a sip of my coke and then continued to play with my straw.

We talked about Ashley throughout dinner. He was confused but then again so was I. But he was happy that I was happy. Of course he wanted to meet Ashley. I guess it was time to introduce her to them. I just had to talk to Ashley first.

Being in my old room brought back a lot of memories. I had come a long way since being that naïve, awkward teenager. If you would have told me 7 years ago that by 24 I would be married and then widowed and then in love with an 18 year old girl I would have told you that you were out of your freakin' mind. Yet here I am.

I picked up my phone and called the girl I was so madly in love with.

"Hey there Mrs. Davies." She said in her sexy voice. Ok I am confused. She laughed.

"Uhhh. Mrs. Davies?"

"Miranda was messing with my phone and programmed you as Mrs. Davies. Hope you don't mind being my wife. I know it's soon but it's forever Baby." She laughed again.

"I miss you Ash." I said seriously. She stopped laughing.

"I miss you too Spence."

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah. Just a long day. I am so glad that my Gram is going to be okay. Did you enjoy your talk with her today?" I know my Gram did.

"Spencer your grandma is a riot. You do know she is my new best friend. I still don't know how to break the news to Miranda."

"She absolutely adores you Ash. You know when I first told her about you I left out the small fact that you were a girl. I didn't know how or if I should tell her. But then she talked to you and figured it out. She is happy as long as I am happy. Do you know what a relief it is that she is okay with us? My dad knows too and he was a little confused at first and didn't know how to react. But he is okay with it too. I am so happy Ash. They want to meet you." I paused to let it all sink in.

"I would love to meet your family Spence. They are part of you. And I love all of you so I definitely want to meet them." She is so sweet.

"I wish you were here holding me." I admitted.

"That can be arranged." I would walk there if I had to.

"No. You have fun with your dad and Miranda. I should be home on Saturday. I want to spend some more time with my Gram and my dad and the rest of the family. But I will surely be thinking of you every minute. I should get to bed though. It's nearly 2 a.m. here. I love you Ashley."

"I love you too Baby." Did she just call me Baby?

"Did you just call me Baby?"

"Mmm. I did. Is that okay?"

"Better than okay."

"I'll see you soon okay?"

"I'll be waiting." I missed her so much.

"You're so whipped." She joked.

"Whatever. I am not." I was totally whipped.

"You so are."

"And you're not?"

"Nope." Yeah right.

"Goodnight Spence."

"Night Ash."

**Ashley's P.O.V**

The rest of the week went by fast thankfully. My dad left for home on Thursday morning. He said he had some things to take care of before he left for the rest of his tour on Sunday night. I was so upset when he told me he was going to be leaving but I felt better knowing that he would be home after the tour. For good hopefully. Thursday Miranda and I just hung out. I wrote some more music and taught her how to play the guitar. Let me rephrase.. I tried to teach her to play the guitar. That was disastrous. We went to a beach party Thursday night. It wasn't really big since it wasn't the weekend yet but it was fun. Miranda even flirted with a boy. So exciting. She even got his phone number. I was so proud of her. Friday was the best. I tried and was successful at teaching her to surf. Yes, she actually let me teach her and guess what she didn't die. But she did whine the entire time. Seeing her finally 'surf' for that 9 seconds was worth listening to her whine for 4 hours. I felt like a proud mama.

Friday night we sprawled over the couch's and watched movies. We were both passed out by 9pm.

Saturday morning we left the beach house. I didn't want to leave but I did want to spend some time with my dad before he left.

I dropped Miranda off at home and headed home myself. It was such a relief to not see my mother's car in the drive. I walked in the house and smelled it immediately. Bacon. Yum. My dad was in the kitchen making BLT's.

"Hey Princess. Just in time. You want one?" He gave me a big hug.

"Hell yeah I want one. Extra bacon." What? I love bacon.

"One BBBBBLT coming up." I'm so spoiled.

"I'm going to take my stuff to my room. I'll be right back."

I headed up to my room with my bags and threw them on the floor. Out of the corner of my eye I saw it.

My guitar.

The guitar that my dad signed and my mom auctioned off.

My dad had found it.

I picked it up and hugged it.

Yes. I hugged my guitar. Don't judge.

"Wasn't very hard to find. Buying it back was the hard part." My dad stood in the door way smiling and holding my BLT on a plate.

"Where did you find it?" I asked.

"San Fran. She sold it to a fan of mine. I gave him some money, another signed guitar and took some photos with him. He gave me the money back. He was a good guy." He handed me the BLT.

I set it down on my bed and threw myself into his arms.

"Thanks Dad. I am going to miss you so much. Promise me you are going to come home afterwards."

"I promise Princess." He whispered. He picked me up off the ground and held me tighter.

"I promise."

My dad and I were sitting in the music room. He was writing some lyrics and I was playing the guitar. We decided to write a song together. I was so happy in that moment. I always wanted to write a song with my dad.

My phone rang and I jumped up in excitement hoping it was Spencer. It wasn't. The phone read a number I didn't recognize. I answered it anyway.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Is this Ashley?"

"Yes. This is Ashley."

"Hi Ashley. My name is Marie Cooper. I am Alyssa's mother."

Alyssa's mom. I started to think the worst.

"Hello Mrs. Cooper. Is everything okay with Alyssa."

"She's still with us Thank God but they say it won't be for much longer. That is why I am calling Ashley. Alyssa talked about you for a week when you came to see her. She really enjoyed her time with you." She paused and I could tell she was struggling to stay strong. Poor woman.

"I was wondering if you would like to come see her again."

"Of course I would. Just let me know the best time and I will be there." I should have already been to see her. Stupid Ashley.

"There really isn't a best time Ashley. Whenever you can make it would be fine."

"Is tomorrow morning okay?"

"Yes of course. Can you just give us a call when you are on your way?"

"Yeah. I can do that."

"Okay. Thank you Ashley. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Mrs. Cooper."

I closed my eyes and let a tear fall. I told her I would come visit and it had been 2 weeks.

"You okay Princess?" My dad put his hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Uh would you mind if we finish this tomorrow? I am going to go lay down." I wasn't in the mood to write or play anymore.

I went upstairs to my room and laid down. I couldn't stop thinking of those 2 hours I spent with Alyssa. She was so happy, full of life. It wasn't fair. Life wasn't fair.

I needed Spencer. I wasn't used to needing someone so much. I never had anyone I could really turn to when I was upset. Well except for Casey and turning to her when I was upset usually led to sex. I didn't need that from Spencer. Trust me I wanted sex from Spencer but I didn't need that right now. I just needed her to hold me.

After what seemed like hours of lying in bed thinking, I finally got up, walked downstairs and left.

I found myself driving to Spencer's house. I knew she wasn't there but she would be home later. I would be waiting for her.

When Miranda opened the door she could see I was upset. She took me over to the couch and I told her what had happened. Afterwards I made my way up to Spencer's bed. I laid down on it and held her pillow. I could smell her and it was almost like she was there. I drifted off imagining her holding me.

I must have been dreaming. I felt her warm arms around me. I felt her hot breath on my neck. I heard her whispering in my ear. If I wasn't dreaming I was in heaven. I felt so warm and loved and safe. Spencer was like a big soft blanket covering me and keeping me from the cold. She was like a life jacket keeping me afloat. No one had ever made me feel like this. Not even my dad. With my dad there was always doubt. Did he love me as much as I loved him? I didn't doubt that as much now but my belief in Spencer and her love for me was solid. No doubt in my mind she loved me just as much as I loved her. I was the luckiest human being on earth. As the arms around me wrapped tighter and the lips at my ear latched on I suddenly realized I wasn't dreaming or in heaven. I was in Spencer's bed. I was in Spencer's arms. She was home.

"Wake up Ashley." She whispered again.

I turned around in her arms and my heart leapt from my chest. She really was here. A tear fell from my eye and she quickly kissed it away.

"You're here. You're home." I whispered back.

"I'm home." She moved the hair out of my face and ran her fingers through my unruly hair.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I am now." I leaned in and snuggled into her neck holding her tightly.

She kissed my head and held me back just as tight.

"I missed you." I mumbled into her neck.

"I'm right here Ash. I'm right here." She assured me.

"Do you want to talk about Alyssa?"

"No. Not right now." I didn't feel like talking about it again. Not yet anyway.

"Are you hungry? I brought dinner home. There's not a lot. I didn't know you were going to be here. We can share."

"I'm not really hungry Spence. But thanks."

"Okay."

"I just need you. To hold me. To love me." I looked up at her and she smiled.

"Can I kiss you? Would you be okay with that?" Like she even has to ask.

"You don't have to ask. I always want to kiss you." I moved up so we were face to face and leaned in. She met me the rest of the way.

The kiss was soft and sweet. Our lips just gliding together molding into one. Neither of us tried to deepen it. We just enjoyed the taste of each other's lips.

Spencer's stomach growled and disrupted our innocent kiss.

"Are ya hungry Spence?" I laughed.

"Very much. I haven't eaten since before I left my Dad's. My food is probably cold now."

"Well let's get you to your cold food before you try to eat me." I chuckled.

She gave me this strange look and then busted out laughing. I was confused at first.

"Spenceeerrr! And you say **I** have the dirty mind." She was laughing hysterically.

"Come on you naughty girl." I pulled her off of the bed and down the stairs.

We sat down and shared (despite my protest) her warmed up Sweet and Sour Chicken, brown rice and even her fortune cookie. Spencer handed me the little piece of paper with our fortune on it.

"I think this was meant for you." She said.

_Your heart will always make itself known through your words._

"Awe Spence. Are you saying I have a way with my words?" I tilted my head and smiled.

She reached out and caressed my cheek. Then she leaned in close and whispered.

"Your words are what pulled me in. Your words touch me deeply." I was starting to wish that another part of me was touching her deeply.

I leaned towards her and kissed her. The kiss did deepen this time.. and fast. I pulled her on top of me so she was straddling my legs and reached around her back and pulled her further into me. It caused a deep moan to escape her throat and I chuckled into the kiss. I guess she didn't like the fact that I laughed at her, she bit my lip and pinched my side. "Ow!" I cried out. "Behave." She demanded.

I ran my hands up her back underneath her shirt and then snuck them around to her front. I cupped both of her breasts and she moaned and threw her head back. I took advantage of her position and latched on to her neck licking and nibbling up to her ear. Her reaction was to grind into me and I just about lost it.

"Spence I want you so bad. I don't know how much longer I am going to be able to hold back."

She dropped her head and kissed me.

"Nobody's asking you to." She said while panting into my mouth.

"Spence? Are you sure?" I knew she wasn't thinking clearly. I knew this isn't how she wanted our first time to be. What I don't know is why I keep 'thinking' so much while we are making out. What the fuck is wrong with me?

She pulled back out of breath.

"How much longer until you graduate?" She asked quickly.

"Uh, a month and a half." I said. See I told you she wasn't thinking clearly.

"Damn it!" She said and I laughed.

"It's not funny Ashley. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want you. I have never needed someone's touch as much as I need yours. I am going crazy here."

I cradled her face in my hands to tried and calm her down.

"Spence. I am going crazy right along with you. I feel the same way. We just have to decide what we both want. Do you still want to wait?" I already know the answer. I know she wants to wait.

"I don't want to wait." Huh?

"But we have to." And there it is.

"Are you okay with waiting Ash?"

"Yeah Spence. I will wait as long as you want." She smiled and then leaned in for another kiss.

"Spence, you should probably get off of me now before I change my mind."

"Sorry." She said while sliding off of me.

She sat at the other end of the couch and I laughed.

"You didn't have to move all the way to the other end of the country Spence."

"It's safer over here." She said straight faced and I shook my head.

She turned on the T.V. and put on some documentary on Shakespeare. She was watching it so intently I think she forgot I was there. She really did have a passion for literature and it was so sexy. I got up and grabbed my notepad out of my bag. I was suddenly inspired to write. Being around Spencer always inspired me. She was like my muse.

The documentary ended and she finally acknowledged my presence. Of course I knew she was there. She was sprawled out on the couch with her feet in my lap. It was amazing how comfortable we had gotten with each other.

"Whatcha writing Romeo?" Oh goodness. Damn Shakespeare.

"A song..Juliet." I responded and she snickered.

"A song about what? Can I read it?" She sat up and moved closer to me.

"Sure, here." I handed her the notebook.

She read what I had written and smiled.

_You made me fall in love with you,_

_I am so whipped, there I said it,_

_So tell me you'll be my girlfriend Spence,_

_And I promise you'll never regret it._

"This is all you have? Won't make much of a song." She joked.

Then she took the pen from my hand and started writing something on the notepad.

"There. Now you might have something." She handed the notebook back to me.

_I always want to be with you Ashley,_

_There is nothing I want more,_

_You make me so incredibly happy,_

_So Yes, Yes, Yes, I'm yours__._

I gave her my famous nose crinkling smile and pulled her in for another kiss.

"You don't know how happy that makes me." I said as I pulled back.

"Oh I think I have somewhat of an idea." She cradled my face and kissed me gently.

"Will you sing for me?" She asked me.

"What do you want me to sing?"

"Something you have written for me."

"What makes you think I have written a song for you?" I asked her with a smile.

"Because I am your girlfriend and you love me." She smiled big showing her perfect teeth.

"Girlfriend. I love the sound of that." I admitted while lifting her hand and kissing it.

"Well?" She's so impatient.

"Hold on." I walked outside and grabbed a guitar that I left in my car.

When I got back she was sitting on the couch with her arms wrapped around her legs. She ran her hand through her long blonde hair and looked up at me with a twinkle in her eye and a small smile on her lips. She was so damn beautiful.

I sat down on the coffee table in front of her and tuned my guitar.

"Okay this is something I wrote a couple days ago. It's supposed to be a piano song but since I don't have a piano right now my guitar will have to do."

She nodded. "I am sure it will be great either way."

"I love you Spence."

I started strumming my guitar while my biggest fan watched me intently.

_Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself__,_

_Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms__,_

_There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast__,_

_Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life__._

_If you knew how lonely my life has been__,_

_And how long I've been__,__ so alone__,_

_And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along__,_

_And change my life the way you've done__._

I could tell she is trying not to cry.

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me__,_

_It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from__,_

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me__,_

_It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong__._

_A window breaks, down a long, dark street,_

_And a siren wails__,__ in the night__._

_But I'm alright, 'cause I have you here with me__,_

_And I can almost see, through the dark there is light__._

_Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me__,_

_And how long I've waited for your touch__,_

_And if you knew how happy you are making me__,_

_I never thought that I'd love anyone so much__._

And there go the tears. Rolling slowly down her face.

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me__,_

_It feels like I'm all the way the back where I come from__,_

_It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me__,_

_It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong__._

_It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong_.

She took the guitar out of my arms and set it down on the ground. Then she pulled me into her arms and whispered…

"I'm home too Ash."

_**Review please :)**_

_**Song- Feels Like Home- Chantal Kreviazuk **_


	26. Chapter 26 Pt1 Promises & Confessions

_**Thanks for the reviews everyone :) :) :)**_

**bobo02**- _Exactly.. a lot of cold showers. And Thanks, I wouldn't consider it a masterpiece but I do appreciate the comment :)_

**Coolgay**- _Everyone wants a grandma like Gram Carlin. Lol. And Thanks, I love the song too. Top ten for me :)_

**Naranga87**- _Glad I could help with the hangover situation ;)_

**momo0424**- _No worries. Ashley will have more time with Alyssa._

**PurpleLover92**- _Yep, ONLY a month and a half to go. Will they make it? ;)_

**noodles307**- _Yes you may keep Gram too but you must wait til the end of the story :) Oh no... poor grilled cheese sandwich. Lol. And I am sorry that I made you sad :( 3_

**imaferrari**- _Yes it does put life into perspective. And Ashley may or may not go to college. You will just have to wait and see. :)_

**A Mind That Sits Still**- _No prob. I don't expect everyone to review every chapter but I do enjoy it. Yes Gram's approval is very important to Spencer. Paula may or may not make an appearance. That is one decision I have not made yet._

**hollymarie4**-_ Yes I know I am a tease with the 'almost hottness' again. Sorry :( lol. One day though...I promise :)_

**_So this Chapter is in 2 parts. There was just toooo much going on. Felt it was best to split it up._**

_As always I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Alyssa, Casey and Gram are mine too. :)_

_Part 1- Promises and Confessions_

I stayed with Spencer that night and in the morning Miranda drove me to the hospital. I called Ms. Cooper and she said that it was a good morning for Alyssa and that she would be so happy to see me. We arrived around 10 a.m. and walked up to her room. I was so nervous Miranda held my hand. I wished Spencer was there but if she was it would just be harder because we couldn't show affection for one another. We stood right outside her door and I took a deep breath. Miranda hugged me.

"Just be yourself Ash." She whispered in my ear.

"Come in with me." I begged when I pulled back.

"Go in there and talk to her first. If she wants more company I'll come in." I nodded then turned around to face the door.

I slowly reached my hand out to knock but pulled it back. I took another deep breath and finally knocked softly 3 times. Her mom opened the door and welcomed me in. We walked into the room and there was a curtain splitting the room into two. Ms. Cooper motioned towards the hand sanitizer hanging on the wall. I walked over a pumped some into my hands and rubbed it in. We slid around the curtain and when I first saw her I was surprised. She looked a lot better than I thought she would. In fact she looked even better than she did 2 weeks ago. Strange. She looked up and instantly a smile spread across her face and her eyes lit up. I got choked up a bit inside. It was then that I realized the affect I had on her. Her mom broke the silence.

"I'm going to go get some coffee. Be right back okay?" She kissed Alyssa's head and nodded at me before she left.

"Hey Ashley." Her voice was hoarse.

"Hey Alyssa." I replied, my voice a little shaky.

"Come here." She patted the bed. I walked over and sat down next to her.

"I'm glad you could come by. I hope you weren't too busy."

"No. Not busy at all. It has been crazy at home these last couple weeks. I'm sorry I didn't come by sooner." I looked down.

"Hey." She ducked down so she could look in my eyes.

"You're here now. You don't know how happy that makes me."

She adjusted herself in her bed so she was sitting up more and she winced.

I stood up in reaction. "Are you okay?" I practically yelled.

She laughed. "Yeah. I just pulled my I.V. a little and the tape ripped off a bit. I'm okay. Relax Ashley." She pulled me back down.

"Sorry." I cursed myself internally for my overreaction.

"So how's life on the outside?" She joked.

"It's good." I replied nonchalantly.

She tilted her head. "Please don't do that Ashley. Don't be afraid to tell my about your life. Don't pity me. Please." She begged.

"I'm really sorry Alyssa. I just, I wish you could have more time. And I feel bad that I do and that I'm….happy." I looked down at my fingers that were nervously playing with each other.

"Ashley I wish I had more time too. But I don't. I decided not to let that bring me down. This is the life I was given and I have to _live_ as best I can with what time I have left. I spent a lot of time pitying myself, wondering what I did to deserve this. I lost my faith and all hope. I just got tired of wishing things were going to get better. It took me a long time but I finally realized that I couldn't live the rest of my life feeling sorry for myself. It's not fair but it's life." She shrugged.

"You're amazing you know that? I'm glad I met you Alyssa. I hope that one day I can be as strong as you are." I place my hand over hers and squeeze it.

"I'm glad I met you too Ashley."

"So how was the birthday party?" Huh?

"How did you know about the party?" I know I didn't mention it.

"I was invited." Really?

"Someone invited you to my party?" She nodded.

Had to be Spencer or Miranda.

"Does this someone have a name?"

"Your friend Miranda invited me. I couldn't come though. Doc said I couldn't risk an infection." She frowned and looked down.

"I wish I could have come. I heard you were amazing."

"I wish you could have come too." I squeezed her hand again.

"Miranda is here. She drove me here. Would you like to see her?"

"I would love to. Bring her in." She smiled.

I slowly slid off the bed and walked out the door. Miranda was sitting down and reading a book. I walked over and kicked her foot.

"Alyssa would like to .._officially_ meet you." I raised my eyebrows at her.

She smirked. "Oh yeah?" I nodded. "Cool." She took off for the door.

When she noticed I wasn't following she turned around.

"You coming?"

I walked up to her and hugged her.

"Thank you for inviting her. I would have been so happy to see her there."

"I know. And you're welcome." She pulled away and we walked into the room.

I re-sanitized my hands and ordered Miranda to do the same.

When she saw us Alyssa straightened up a bit. A small smile playing on her lips.

"Alyssa this is Miranda. Miranda this is Alyssa." They exchanged pleasantries and then we sat down.

I sat on the end of the bed and Miranda sat on the worn-down chair next to the bed.

We all talked for a good hour and a half. Mostly about music. Then the two of them started talking about everything from Dancing with the Stars to Jersey Shore. Ugh! I rolled my eyes. Worst hour of my life. Nah! It was nice seeing the two of them interact. They got along pretty well. Didn't surprise me. Miranda could make friends with a very hungry crocodile. She was the most genuine person I had ever met. Always said and did the right thing no matter what the situation. She never judged or insulted. Alyssa was enjoying her company as much as I did. That made me happy.

We hung around until nearly 2:30 p.m. Alyssa's mom had come in several times to check up on her. The final time she came in was to tell us that Alyssa needed to lie down and rest. She wasn't happy that we had to go but we promised we would come back tomorrow. We each gave her a hug and then walked out with her mother.

"I hope you don't mind that we told her we would come by tomorrow." I said to Ms. Cooper.

"Not at all. Alyssa seemed to really enjoy your company." She replied with a smile.

"Can I ask you a question Ms. Cooper?"

"Sure Sweetie."

"I know that you don't really have a lot of family but what about friends? Where are Alyssa's friends?"

She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Back home in North Carolina. We left there 4 years ago when Alyssa initially got sick. We moved here to stay with her father. He left us after a year because he said he couldn't handle it. He calls every once in a while to see how she's doing." She shook her head. "Jerk. I don't know what I ever saw in the man."

"Anyway as for her friends, she lost touch with them over the years. She never really had a chance to meet new friends since we've been here. She's been in and out of the hospital for the last 3 years. I think that's why she enjoys your company so much. You don't know how much I appreciate you spending time with her." Tears started to fall from her eyes. My eyes started to water.

I grabbed both of her hands and held them in mine.

"Your daughter is an amazing girl. Thank you letting us spend time with her. If you don't mind I plan to spend as much time as possible with her. I can come after school. Give you some time to go home and shower or sleep. Would that be okay with you?"

She smiled through her tears and pulled me into a hug.

"I think that would be great Ashley."

"Okay. Good. We will see you tomorrow then."

She nodded. "Okay."

I dropped Miranda off at home. I had every intention of staying there for a bit but my dad was leaving soon and I wanted to spend some time with him. When I opened the door I instantly started crying.

_Hold it together Davies. Geez._

My dad was leaving and I was having a hard time with that. Not to mention the hospital visit had me on the edge to begin with.

The simple image of his bag packed and waiting on the floor by the door sent me over that edge.

I sat down on the steps and sobbed like a baby. Spike was at my feet within seconds. I lifted him into my arms and cuddled him. And as if I wasn't emotional enough I started thinking about how alone Spike must have felt these last couple of weeks with me not being home. Oh man. I was a mess.

My dad trotted down the stairs, sat down and pulled me into his arms.

"Sorry Daddy. I'm such a mess." I said wiping the wetness from my face with the back of my hand.

"It's okay Princess. You've been dealing with a lot lately and you've been so strong. But it's okay to let it out once in a while."

"How long are you going to be gone?" I looked up at him with my sad, tear filled eyes.

"3 months." He said. "But I will be back to see my beautiful daughter receive her diploma."

He smiled at me and I forced one back at him.

"I promise I will be back Ashley. And don't worry; I am going to keep tabs on your mother while I am gone. And I won't lie to you. I asked Spencer to look after you. I wish things could be less complicated for the two of you. I can see how happy she makes you and that makes me feel a little better about leaving you." He leaned his head on top of mine.

"I know I haven't been the best Dad over the years but that's in the past. I'm going to change. For you Ashley Marie. For my Princess."

"I love you Daddy." I hugged him tight.

"I love you too."

"So I have about 4 hours until I have to leave. What do you want to do?"

After having a late lunch we made our way to the music room. We finished a song and even wrote another one. Our ideas flowed together so well. For every tune I had, he had a lyric and vice versa. He couldn't deny that his blood was running through my veins. I was definitely his kid.

After the tearful afternoon I decided that I would try my best to hold them in when he left. Like I said…"try". I couldn't help myself.

I dropped my dad off at the airport and watched him board his plane.

"Bye Daddy. See you soon." I blew him a kiss.

I left the airport and headed straight to Spencer's. Shocker right? When she opened the door no words were needed. She could see it all over my tear stained face. She held her arms out and I fell into them.

"Promise me that you won't leave me." I cried while buried in the crook of her neck. I know..so dramatic. I had a very emotional day.

"I'm not going anywhere Ash. Promise." She kissed the top of my head.

We moved to the couch and I snuggled into her.

"How are we going to make it through the school day? How are we going to make it through that one hour?" I laughed.

"I've got it all figured out Ash." She said confidently.

"You do? Please.. fill me in."

"I'm just not going to talk to you or even look at you."

I lifted my head from her neck and looked at her.

"That's your plan?" I scrunched my eyebrows.

"Yep." She said quickly.

"Didn't think it out much did ya?"

She laughed. "I know…we're screwed."

We fell asleep on the couch together. I woke up alone with a blanket draped over me. I heard some stirring in the kitchen and went to check it out. Spencer was in the kitchen waiting for coffee. I snuck up behind her and slid my arms around her. She jumped slightly but then put her arms around mine.

"Good morning Ash." She said quietly.

"Good morning indeed." I planted kisses on her neck and then down her nearly bare shoulder.

"I can't believe you're up already. Did I wake you?" She asked.

"I'm getting used to sleeping with you so I guess my body didn't like that you weren't next to it. What time is it?" I ask as I look over at the microwave clock.

"5:00" We say at the same time. I can't believe I am up at 5 a.m.

"Is this what time you usually get up?"

"Yep." The coffee was finally done so she poured herself a cup then she turned around in my arms.

"You want some?" She offered me some of her coffee.

"I do want some. But not the coffee." I smirked and then pulled her into me. She nearly spilt her coffee.

"I'm only offering the coffee." She said with a smirk of her own.

"Well than I guess I will have some." I took the coffee cup from her hand and walked away.

"Hey!" She cried. I laughed and kept walking.

She got ready for school and I needed to go home to shower and change.

"See you at school Teach." I said as I pulled her in for a hug.

"I don't know how I am going to be able to teach the class with you sitting there gawking at me." She joked.

"I'll try to be good but I can't make any promises."

I went home showered, got ready and was out of the house in 45 minutes. Had to be a record for me. I wanted to get to school early so I could see Spencer before class started. I know I just left her but I missed her already.

When I got to school I went straight to my locker and was surprised at who was standing there. Casey. She stuffed a note into my locker and then left. Hmmm. I waited for her to round the corner and opened my locker. I didn't want to avoid her. I missed her. But I didn't know what to say to her.

_Hey Ash,_

_I just wanted to give you the heads up that I am back. I was going to wait for you at your locker but I know how you like to be fashionably late. See at lunch if not before then._

_Casey_

I needed to find her. I had some time so I went to her locker. She was there transferring some books from her locker to her bag. I noticed that her hair was shorter and she was definitely skinnier. She looked good. Really good.

Damn it Ashley you can't think about her like that anymore.

I walked up behind her.

"Hey." She jumped. "Sorry."

"Hi Ash." She said shyly.

"I got your note." I said holding the note up.

"Oh. I didn't think you would be here so early. Why _are_ you here so early?" She questioned.

"Part of the new me. I actually go to every class too." I laughed.

"Wow. That's great Ash." She looked down at her feet.

"So how are you?" I asked her.

"I'm good. I really am. And I'm sorry for practically ignoring you the last couple weeks. I just needed some time to think."

"It's cool. I understand."

An awkward silence fell over us.

"Ash I still want to be with you. Can't we at least try to be together?" She grabbed my hands.

I pulled back from her when I saw Spencer walking down the hall towards us.

"Morning ladies." She smiled at the both of us.

"Morning Mrs. Dennison." Casey said cheerful as she passed.

"Morning." Is all I said. I had to turn my body as my eyes followed her until she disappeared around the corner.

"Ash?" Huh?

"Sorry."

She shook her head. "Still crushing on people you can't have instead of the people who are standing right in front of you telling you they love you?"

"What?"

"I know about your little crush on Mrs. Dennison. Madi told me." That bitch.

"Heeeey Girl. You're back!" Speak of the devil.

They hugged and I was so pissed at Madi I just walked away. I faintly heard her say "What's with her?" but I just kept walking.

I walked to Spencer's class and just as I was at the door someone flew around the corner and bumped into me. Fucking Carmen.

"Watch it Raccoon eyes." Yep she still had her black eyes from when Miranda socked her in the nose.

"Sorry." She said softly. W.T.F.?

She walked away and into the bathroom down the hall. I was at a loss for words and a bit curious. I walked down the hall and into the bathroom. I didn't see her but I could hear her. She was in one of the stalls crying. I pushed the door open forcefully and she jumped.

"What the hell do you want Davies?" She yelled. Her voice cracked.

"Here to call me more names? Hit me maybe?"

"The thought did cross my mind." I admitted.

"Are you going to call me more names? Bully my friends?" I asked.

"No. So just leave me alone." She said barely above a whisper.

"What's with you today?" I asked her. She was not being her usually bitchy self. It was no fun.

"What do you care?" She yelled again.

"You know what? You're right. Later." I slammed the stall door shut and started to walk away.

"Wait!" She walked out of the stall.

"What?" I replied annoyed.

"How do you do it?"

"How do I do what? Look this hot. It's all natural."

She rolled her eyes.

"How do you deal with the people who are mean to you just because of who you are and who you like?"

"Look in the mirror. That's how I deal with it." I snapped at her.

"We both know I deserved it, both times. But you don't go around punching everyone who calls you a Dyke."

"I ignore them. Unless they get in my face like you. People can think what they want. I am who I am. The only person whose opinion matters is my own." I paused and looked at her curiously.

"Why all the questions? Why do you suddenly care how I deal with things?"

She didn't answer. She just started walking towards me. What is she doing? I'm gonna hit that bitch if she touches me.

Before I can register what was happening she kissed me. She quickly pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

"That's why I care." Whaaat? What the fuck was going on?

"You're gay?" Whoa! No freakin' way.

"Yeah." Double Whoa!

"I didn't realize until I saw you and Casey making out in the pool that summer. Seeing that affected me and it wasn't the first time I felt those feelings. But I wasn't alone that night. Amanda was there. She took the pictures and I let her. I took the blame because I didn't like the way it make me feel to see you two kissing. I didn't want to accept that I was gay and I surely didn't want anyone to find out. So I hid. And I was the biggest bitch I could possibly be so that no-one would find out who I really was. If I acted as if I hated you because you were a lesbian I couldn't possibly be one. That's how I thought of it."

"I can't believe this. And Amanda, I'm am so gonna make her look like you." I was furious. She may not have been my biggest fan but she acted all sweet and innocent with Casey. That fucking bitch.

"I'm sorry Ashley." Are you kidding me?

"I don't want to hear your apologies. Nothing excuses your behavior. Nothing excuses the way you have treated Miranda." She looked away as she started to cry again.

"I won't tell anyone your secret because I just don't care. And don't ever touch me again." I said harshly.

I walked towards the door as the bell rang. I turned back around before I opened it.

"By the way, no-one likes the pretend you so you might as well stop hiding and be the real you. You know if there actually is a difference. Prove that you're not really a bitch. Prove that you're not really a fucking coward that bullies defenseless kids. Prove that and I will accept your apology."

With that I left.

_**Feel free to leave a review :) I won't bite ;)**_

_**Part 2 should be up either later today or early tomorrow :)**_


	27. Chapter 26 Pt2 Crazy day, perfect night

_**As promised here is Part 2.**_

_I own nothing but my imagination. Casey, Alyssa, Miranda and Gram are mine too :)_

_Chapter 26 part 2. Crazy day, perfect night_.

I was so over all the drama in my life. I wish that I could take Spencer, Miranda, my dad and Spike and go on a permanent vacation.

When I finally got to the classroom Spencer was shutting the door. She saw me coming and shook her head.

"You're late." She said seriously.

"I know. Sorry." I squeezed through the partially shut door and accidently rubbed against her. She smelt so good and I wanted to throw her up against the door and… I'll leave that to your imagination.

I went to sit down and noticed that my new seat (in the front row, across from Spencer) was taken. Cassandra Wheatley must not have gotten the hint last time. That was my seat. She smirked at me. I looked over at Spencer and she shrugged. Ugh. I went back to my normal seat (across from Madi, who I was not happy with right now).

Spencer began the class talking about all of the great American writers and everything we had learned this year. She talked about Washington Irving, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Henry David Thoreau, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Walt Whitman, Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson and finally Poe. I guess I had missed all of the classes on the other writers. I sure missed a lot. I regretted that now.

I watched her intently. The way she spoke, the way she used her hands when she spoke, the way her eyes closed when she was expressing her passion, the look in her eyes when she showed that passion through her words. All of this making me realize how truly awe-inspiring this woman really was. Not that I didn't already know.

"These books were a donation from UCLA. We were lucky enough to get a copy for each student but we need these books back so please take care of them."

The Oxford Book of American Poetry

"I would like to switch things up a bit. For the next 4 weeks we will be discussing 2 stories and 2 poems. I want you all to take these books home tonight and find one of each that you find interesting. Tomorrow we will tally up the results and pick the top 2 stories and the top 2 poems. We have about 20 minutes left so go ahead and starting looking now. Choose wisely." She went back to her desk and sat down.

I went through the book and read a few and I found one that intrigued me. I was about to write it down when I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket. I pulled out my phone and read the message.

_Are u seriously mad at me? It's not a big deal. Who doesn't have a crush on Mrs. D.?- Madi_

I glared over at her and she shrugged.

_You didn't need to mention it to Casey. She is having a hard time as it is. And excuse me but I don't want everyone knowing about my stupid crush.-Ash_

A minute later…

_I'm sorry Ash. I didn't think about how it would make her feel. Forgive me. -Madi_

I started to text her back when ..

"Ahem." Uh oh.

"Your phones Ladies." Spencer was standing in between us holding out her hands. We placed our phones in her hands. She glared at me again. Shit! Looks like I am in trouble. And it's not the good kind this time.

The bell rang signaling the end of class. I slowly gathered my stuff hoping I would be the last one out of the classroom. Madi retrieved her phone and scurried out of the room. When I reached her desk she didn't even look up at me, she just set my phone at the front of the desk.

"Spence." I whispered. She said nothing.

"C'mon Spence. You're not really mad are you?"

"Yes I am mad." She finally said. "What you did was disrespectful to me. First you're late and then you use your phone during class. It's unacceptable Ashley." She was pissed.

"I'm sorry Spencer. I would actually have been early if.."

She cut me off. "It doesn't matter why you were late. Just don't be late again."

I looked down at my feet. She was angry with me. This was a first and I did not like it at all. I was mad at me too. Why did I have to follow Carmen into that bathroom? I know Spencer wanted to see me before class and I wanted to see her.

She got up and walked to the door and closed it.

"Look just because we are together doesn't mean you can just do whatever you want and expect me to not get mad. While we are at school, I am your teacher Ashley. I'm not your friend or your girlfriend. I am your teacher. You have to remember that."

"And you need to start calling Mrs. Dennison when we are here." She calmed down a bit.

"Right. Sorry."

"Now go, before I have to write you out another late slip." She pointed towards the door.

I nodded and started walking towards the door.

"Ashley." She called out. I stopped and turned around.

"I'll talk to you later okay?" She didn't smile but she didn't look mad either.

"Okay." I gave a half smile.

I saw Amanda in my second period and glared at her most of the hour. The first time she caught me glaring her face got red. She wouldn't even look my way after that. As soon as we got out of class I approached her.

"I know it was you that took those pictures of me and Casey." I pointed in her face.

"And? That was like 2 years ago Ashley. Get over it." She tried to walk away. I pulled her back.

"Why did you do it? You acted like our friend. You still act like Casey's friend."

"Casey was my best friend before she was yours. She got too close to you and you turned her into a lesbian. I was hoping that if I outed you that she would stay away from you. She did for a little while."

"I turned her into a lesbian?" I laughed. She rolled her eyes.

"You're a lying, ignorant bitch and you better stay away from Casey or I will make rolling your eyes hurt. Got it." I turned around and walked away. She didn't say anything back or try to stop me.

I sat in my car at lunch. I needed a break from all of the drama. I didn't want to see Casey, Carmen, Amanda or Madi. I would have just sat with Chelsea and Miranda but Chelsea was sick and Miranda was serving her suspension. I just wanted to be alone. Actually I wanted to be with the hot blonde walking to her car but that wasn't an option. She glanced over at my car a row and three cars down from hers and spotted me. She smiled and then got into her car. A minute later I got a text.

_Why are you sitting in your car for lunch? -Spence_

_Just wanted to be left alone. I really am sorry for earlier. I miss you. - Ash_

_Why do you want to be alone? And I forgive you. This time ;) I really wanted to see you before class. I miss you too. - Spence_

_Long story. Talk to you later about it. Can I come over tonight after I visit Alyssa? - Ash_

_You better. I'll attempt to make us all dinner. - Spence_

_I think I'll just pick something up on the way over ;) - Ash_

_Haha, funny. I've got your dad's recipe for Chicken Parmesan. I'll try my best. If you don't like it we can eat something else. - Spence_

_I vote for something else. Are you going to be on the menu? ;) - Ash_

_Keep being mean and I'll never be on the menu ;) - Spence_

_In that case I will try your Chicken Parmesan. But I want dessert in the form of… a mouth… a neck… an ear even. Deal? - Ash_

_Lol. Deal. I'll talk to you later Ash. I love you. - Spence_

_Talk to you later. I love you too Baby ;) Ash_

After the talk with Spencer I felt a lot better. I definitely had a little more pep in my step when I walked back into the school. The rest of the day dragged on. I finally got to gym and plopped myself down on the bleachers. I told Ms. Matthews I wasn't feeling well so I could sit out. She told me I needed to suck it up and get out there. I told her I would probably throw up on the gym floor. She scrunched her nose. I won. Casey didn't look at me once. I guess we couldn't be just friends. I didn't want to get myself down again especially considering I was going to see Alyssa so I just thought of Spencer. Thinking of her always made me happy.

I left school in a hurry and made it to the hospital in about 20 minutes. I knocked on Alyssa's door and her mother greeted me again. We talked about a lot of different things. We talked about music of course. We also talked about things she wished she could have done. She couldn't do most of them. But one of her wishes was to write a song and have some record it. I could help her with that. For the next couple hours we worked on a song together. She already had most of the lyrics in her head. We just had to write the music for it. I had to step out into the hall so the nurse could do her thing so I texted Spencer.

_I hope a late dinner is okay. Still at the hospital with Alyssa. I will call you when I leave. Ash_

_A late dinner is fine. Call me a little before you leave so I can get started. Spence_

It was a little after 7pm when we finally finished. The song we wrote was beautiful and sad. She wrote it mostly for her mother. I didn't know if I was going to be able to sing it for her. I had to try.

I cleared my throat and started strumming,

_When I get where I'm going,_

_On the far side of the sky,_

_The first thing that I'm gonna do,_

_Is spread my wings and fly,_

_I'm gonna land beside a lion,_

_And run my fingers through his mane,_

_Or I might find out what it's like,_

_To ride a drop of rain._

_Yeah when I get where I'm going,_

_There'll be only happy tears,_

_I will shed the sins and struggles,_

_I have carried all these years,_

_And I'll leave my heart wide open_,

_I will love and have no fear_,

_Yeah when I get where I'm going,_

_Don't cry for me down here._

I could feel the tears starting to form behind my eyes.

_I'm gonna walk with my grand daddy,_

_And he'll match me step for step,_

_And I'll tell him how I missed him,_

_Every minute since he left,_

_Then I'll hug his neck._

_Yeah when I get where I'm going,_

_There'll be only happy tears,_

_I will shed the sins and struggles,_

_I have carried all these years_,

_And I'll leave my heart wide open_

_I will love and have no fear,_

_Yeah when I get where I'm going,_

_Don't cry for me down here_.

The tears started falling uncontrollably but I kept going. Alyssa was crying too.

_So much pain and so much darkness,_

_In this world we stumble through,_

_All these questions I can't answer,_

_So much work to do._

_But when I get where I'm going,_

_And I see my maker's face,_

_I'll stand forever in the light ,_

_Of his amazing grace,_

_Yeah when I get where I'm going,_

_There'll be only happy tears,_

_I will love and have no fear,_

_When I get where I'm going,_

_Don't cry for me down here_.

I smiled through the tears, wiped my face and set the guitar down. Alyssa held out her arms for me. I sat down on the bed and we held each other for a couple minutes. No need for words anymore.

Her mother walked in and when she saw the tears she started to tear up. It was time to go so I hugged Alyssa one last time and then I hugged her mom.

"I'll be back tomorrow if that's okay." They both nodded.

I stopped in the bathroom right outside the room and cleaned myself up. I was about to head to Spencer's but I had to stop at the nurses' station first.

"Excuse me." One of the nurses looked up at me.

"Who can I talk to about Alyssa?" I asked her.

"We can only provide information on patients to family. Sorry." The nurse said.

"Oh I don't need any information on Alyssa. I want to do something special for her and I need some questions answered about how to go about doing it."

"What did you have in mind?"

"She needs to get out of this hospital."

"Hold on. I'll page someone for you."

I got the answers I needed and headed to Spencer's. I would have to call my dad's lawyer in the morning and a few other people. I had a big smile on my face thinking of my plan. Alyssa and her mom would be so happy.

I knocked at the door and Miranda answered.

"Assshley." She squealed and gave me a big hug.

"Hello to you too Miranda. Uh..I can't breathe."

"Sorry. Just happy to see you." She said as she let me go.

"I'm happy to see you too. How was your first day of suspension?"

"Boooring."

"Only you would think of a day off of school as boring." I laughed.

The conversation came to a sudden halt when Spencer walked into the room. She had changed from her school clothes to a pair of jeans with some rips in the knees and tight gray t-shirt. I of course stood there with my mouth wide open. Miranda shut if for me and laughed.

"You're just in time. Dinner is ready." She said still standing too far away for my liking.

"Well good I'm starved." Miranda said and then walked into the kitchen.

I wasted no time walking up to Spencer and taking her in my arms. At first it was just a hug but then I took her face in my hands and kissed her hard. She moaned quietly into my mouth and then slid her tongue into it. Her hands found purchase along my lower back as she pulled me into her. I left her mouth briefly to kiss her neck and then whispered "I missed you" in her ear.

"Hey you two. Are you skipping dinner and going straight to dessert? Because I kind of don't want to eat alone."

We both laughed and reluctantly pulled apart.

"How is it?" I asked Miranda after she took her first bite.

"Not bad." She shrugged.

I looked over at Spencer and she smiled big.

"Come on. Give it a try." She held out her hand and of course I took it.

Dinner wasn't bad at all. It wasn't as good as my dad's but nothing ever would be. Spencer did a really good job.

I chatted with Miranda for a good hour about school (I left out the crazy parts for now) and Alyssa while we washed the dishes. I washed and rinsed and Miranda dried them and put them away. Spencer sat at the table and worked on something for school. Afterwards Miranda announced she was going to her room to watch Dancing with the Stars.

I left the kitchen and walked into the front room. Spencer's IPod was cradled in its dock. I found a playlist and hit play. Then I walked over to the couch and sat down.

Spencer came in from the kitchen and sat down on the couch next to me. She had a glass of wine. She offered me some.

"Isn't offering alcohol to underage kids a crime?" I joked.

"It's just wine and you're not driving home right?" Awe, she wanted me to stay the night.

"So you're trying to get me drunk and stay the night with you. Are you going to try and take advantage of me?"

"Maybe" She said with a smirk.

"Don't tease Spencer." I hit her leg.

"Sorry. So why don't we talk?"

"What do you want to talk about?"

"What happened with Casey today?"

"Nothing. She hasn't changed her mind. She still wants to be with me."

She shifted her position and I could tell she was uncomfortable.

"Spence you have nothing to worry about." She nodded but I could tell she was unsure.

I slid of the couch and pulled her up to me.

Looking into her piecing blue eyes I kissed her lips softly.

"I am so in love with you Spencer. I can't even think straight. You are all I want. You are all I need. You're everything. You're mine and I am so unbelievably yours. Don't worry about Casey or anyone else for that matter. There's only you in my heart. You're all I see."

She smiled and kissed my lips softly.

"Dance with me?" She said.

She put her arms around my neck and I put mine around her waist.

And we danced.

One and Only by Adele playing softly in the background.

This was the perfect ending to a crazy day.

_**Song**_

_When I get where I'm going- Brad Paisley_


	28. Chapter 28 A day together

_**Thanks again for the reviews. Reviews =Smiles**_

_For those of you who were asking for an __**ALL SPASHLEY**__ chapter. Your wish is my command. :)_

_I own nothing but my imagination. And of course Miranda, Alyssa and Casey_.

_This chapter is __**Rated M**__._

* * *

><p>We were lying in bed just holding each other. Neither of us was sleeping. Just enjoying the peaceful, warm and comforting feeling of each other's arms. The silence was comfortable but of course I couldn't shut my brain off.<p>

"Spence?" I whispered.

"Hmm?" She replied sleepily.

"When's your birthday?"

"November 13th. Why?"

"Because you are my girlfriend and I want to know everything about you. Plus your birthday is kind of important."

"Eh. It's just another day." She played it down.

"It's the day that you were brought into this world Spence. So in my book it's more than just another day, it's a frickin' holiday."

She laughed. "You're so corny Ash."

I rolled my eyes. "But I love that about you."

She ran her fingers down my face and traced my lips before she leaned in for a gentle kiss. Re-adjusting herself she rested her head in the crook of my neck.

"Spence?"

"Ash?"

"What made you start teaching at Archer's? You're this big shot college professor why would you want to teach at a high school?"

"First of all, I am not a big shot professor. I have only been teaching at UCLA for a little under 2 years and I only teach 3 classes. And I started teaching at Archer's because they needed someone to fill in for Mr. Connors and I just happened to be speaking with Mr. Goodman at the time about my concerns with Miranda. I jumped at the chance because I love teaching literature and I could also keep an eye on Miranda."

"You're amazing Spence."

"I'm the best version of myself when I am around you. God Spence, when I'm around you I want to change the world and you almost make me believe I can." I laughed.

"I'm glad that I make you feel that way Ashley. But you don't have to try and change the world. What you are doing for Miranda and Alyssa, that's more than enough."

Thoughts of Alyssa instantly brought sadness. I rolled on to my back and stared up at the ceiling. Writing that song with her the other day was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. But she needed it so I did it.

_when I get where I am going_

_don't cry for me down here_

"I wish I could do more for Alyssa." My voice cracked.

Spencer held me tighter. "What you have done for her and what you are still doing for her is admirable Ash. You've made a difference in her life. You've given her a reason to smile and laugh. Imagine what her life would be like right now had you not visited her that day."

"You made me do it Spence. You believed in me." I rolled back over to face her.

"Thank you." I whispered.

"You saw something in me that I didn't even know was there. How did you know?"

"I saw it in the way you were with Miranda and even me. You have a big heart Ash."

"You're wonderful." She leaned in and kissed me softly.

"So beautiful." Another soft kiss.

"And unbelievably perfect." This kiss was a little less soft and she let it linger.

"The first two were a given but I am far from perfect Spence." I laughed.

She shook her head and then lifted my hand to her lips. She kissed my hand and then cradled her face with it.

"You're perfect for me."

I gave her a shy smile. For once she had made me blush. Thank God it was dark and she couldn't see my face redden. I would have never heard the end of it.

"Do you believe in fate Spence?" I asked her seriously.

"I do."

"I believe that we were meant to find each other. That we were meant to love each other."

"Sort of like soul mates huh?"

"Exactly like soul mates." I grabbed both of her hands and held them to my chest right against my heart.

"This feels like forever Spence." My voice cracked again.

"I like the sound of forever." She said before burying her head in the crook of my neck again.

We laid there silent for a couple of minutes. Sleep finally sounding appealing.

"Spence?"

"Yes Ashley." She chuckled.

"I love you."

"I love you too Ash."

I woke up cold and alone..again. This was beginning to be a trend when I slept with Spencer. One that I did not like one bit.

I could smell the coffee brewing downstairs. My early bird girlfriend must be up for school already. I sleepily made my way down the stairs. She was standing in front of the coffee maker again. This time she was spreading some jelly onto a piece of toast.

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her.

"Mmmm. Morning Ash."

"Morning Baby." I kissed her cheek, then her neck and then her shoulder.

"I like this morning routine that we seemed to have started."

"Me too." I bit down on her shoulder.

"Well except for the part where I wake up alone in your bed." I rested my chin on her shoulder and pouted.

"I'm sorry. You just looked so peaceful and you were snoring so cutely. I figured you needed the sleep since we were up so late."

"Okay, I do not snore and if I did I would hardly call it cute." She laughed. "And we were up so late because you wouldn't stop talking to me."

"Excuse me." She turned around in my arms. "YOU wouldn't stop asking questions."

"And you didn't stop answering them so it is your fault as much as it is mine."

She shook her head and laughed. "Whatever you say Ash." Exactly.

She turned back around and continued spreading her jelly onto her toast. The coffee maker beeped signaling it was ready.

"You're not going to steal my coffee again are you?" She asked.

"Well that depends." I replied.

"Depends on what?" She asked curiously.

"Are you offering anything else?" I whispered as I pressed up against her back. I could feel her shiver.

She turned around quickly and held out a plate.

"I made toast." She said proudly.

"Really? Toast?" I asked with a raise of the brow.

"Did you have something else in mind?"

"As a matter of fact I did."

I dropped down to my knees, my hands on her hips.

"Ash what are you doing?" She asked nervously.

"Don't worry Spence. I'll keep it PG. Ya know since Miranda is home." I winked.

She chuckled and ran her hand through my hair.

I locked my eyes on hers and slowly pushed her tank top up so it was resting just below her breasts. Then I reached for the jelly on the counter. I dipped my finger in and scooped some out. She giggled and squirmed as I dragged my finger around her stomach forming one half of a heart. I grabbed some more jelly and finished the rest of the heart.

"You're crazy you know that?"

I just smirked, wrapped my hands around her back and pulled her to my mouth. I started just below her belly button tracing the heart with my tongue.

The plate of toast fell from her hand to the floor as she gripped the counter. She threw her head back and let out a soft moan.

When I had finished with the jelly I found her belly button and swirled my tongue around in it. One of her hands left the counter and landed in my hair.

"OH MY GOD! My eyes, my eyes."

I whipped my head around to see Miranda standing in the doorway covering her eyes. I chuckled.

"I am now scarred for life." She said with her hands still blocking her vision.

I stood up and Spencer lowered her tank top. Her cheeks were red. She was clearly embarrassed.

"Uh I think I am just going to go back to bed until you two leave. Bye now." She turned around and walked quickly back to her room.

"Oh my God. I am so mortified." Spencer said now covering her face.

I pulled her hands down form her face and kissed her hard.

"Don't be. You looked so hot with your head thrown back and your mouth wide open. Can't wait until we finally make love. I can only imagine how hot you're gonna look when I.." She covered my mouth with her hand. I couldn't help myself. The old and new Ashley were both very cocky and very horny. The taste of Spencer's skin was so intoxicating. I wanted her right there and then but I knew it couldn't happen.

"I am going to take a very cold shower." She said taking her hand off of my mouth.

"Can I join you?" I asked with a smirk.

"NO! Stay here. Behave." She smiled at me and shook her head.

"Can't make you any promises." I yelled as she entered the bathroom.

I laid down on the couch and turned the T.V. on. I must have dozed off. When I woke it was after 9 a.m. and I jumped off the couch. I looked out the window and saw that Spence's car was still in the drive.

"Spencer?" I called out confused.

"In here." I heard her reply from the office.

She was at her desk going through some papers. I was going to ask her why we were still home and not at school but I couldn't move my mouth. It was stuck, wide open. Now you would think by my reaction that Spencer was naked or at least wearing something revealing but that was not the case. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a L.A. Dodgers baseball jersey that was unbuttoned with a light blue t-shirt underneath. Her hair was up in a bun, she had on her black reading glasses and a pencil was hanging out of her mouth. I had never seen her so beautiful. I know..I'm crazy. Even in her 'just out of the shower, no make-up, I don't care what I look like I'm comfortable' look, she looked so incredibly sexy.

She looked up and took the pencil out of her mouth.

"Good morning. Again." She smiled.

"Morning…uh.."

"School's closed. Water main break." She said probably sensing my confusion.

"Oh."

"Cool."

"What are you doing?" I asked as I walked over and sat on the side of her desk.

"I was just reading and editing some stories that my students at the University wrote." She threw the papers on the desk as well as her glasses.

"Come here." She held her hand out.

I walked the small distance to her chair and straddled her. She wasn't expecting it and she gasped.

"Sorry. Am I hurting you?"

"N-no. Not at all." She ran her finger nails down my back as I leaned down to kiss her.

The moment our lips met we both wanted more. Instantly her tongue was tracing my lips and demanding entrance. I let it in and sucked on her tongue. She let go of my back and latched on to my neck to pull me further into the kiss. My body was on fire and I wanted so badly to touch her. So I did. I lowered my hand and cupped her center. She jerked so hard that the chair flew back and I landed on top of her.

"Oomph."

"Oh my God are you okay Spencer?" She covered her face and started laughing. I guess she was okay.

I pulled myself off of her just enough so that I wasn't squishing her.

"I'm sorry." I chuckled.

"That's twice now today that I have been embarrassed." She said dropping her hands to show her red cheeks.

"Why are you embarrassed?" I laughed.

"Shut up Ashley. You are not nice." She playfully punched me.

"Ow. I said I was sorry. I don't know what came over me. Honestly."

"I forgive you." She rolled us over and off of the chair. Now she was straddling me.

She kissed me hungrily while her hand crept up my shirt. I felt her fingernails scrapping my stomach. Then slowly her hand moved upwards again.

"Spence what about Miranda?" I didn't want to be walked in on again in a compromising position.

"She left about 15 minutes ago. Went to Chelsea's." She said in between kisses.

Her lips left mine and latched on to my neck where she licked and nibbled. Then slowly she kissed her way down to the skin exposed from my tank top. I pulled at her jersey and she took it off. Her hands went to my hips and then up to the hem of my shirt pulling it up. I helped her out and yanked it off. This was the first time she had seen my breast. Probably the first time she had seen another woman's breast so up close and personal. After getting a good look she looked back up at me. I kissed her to ease her nerves and pressed myself up against her. Her shirt came off next , her bra followed soon after. I wanted to feel her skin against mine. I rolled us over again and looked down into her darkened blue eyes that were telling me so much.

I love you.

I want you.

I need you.

I lowered myself onto her and she gasped as our breasts met. She felt so good against my skin and I couldn't help but let out a moan. My mouth hovered over hers and then lowered itself to meet her waiting lips. Our tongues danced as our hands wandered. Spencer 's hand trying so desperately to touch me. I lifted up and put some distance between us. Soon after I felt her hand cup my breast and then started to roll my nipple between her fingers. I closed my eyes to revel in the sensation it was creating. I opened my eyes to see her biting her bottom lip. She was enjoying it, but she wanted more. I rolled off her and onto my back. She flipped to her side and smiled.

"You have such an amazing body Ashley." She said looking down at me while her fingers traced my tattoo.

"It's all yours Spence."

She scooted her body down and kissed my stomach. I closed my eyes again. I had wanted this for so long and even though it probably wasn't going to lead to sex I knew it was enough or now. She kissed and licked and nipped at nearly every inch of my stomach then finally started moving towards my breast. She hesitated at first but then surprised me by taking my nipple into her mouth. I responded by pulling her by her hips into me and she moaned. I nearly lost all control when her wet tongue reached out and licked the other nipple and then bit down.

"Speeeence." I moaned out.

I felt her leave my breast and then her mouth was back on mine. Hungry and aggressive.

Then all of the sudden she pulled back and sat up.

"We have to stop before we can't." She said not looking at me.

"Ok." I got up and grabbed my shirt and threw it on.

"I'm sorry Ashley."

I grabbed her shirt and held my hand out for her.

"For what?"

"For stopping. I know you didn't want to."

I tugged her towards me and hugged her.

"Don't be sorry. I love you and I want to wait for the perfect time too. You're right, I didn't want to stop but I don't think you did either."

"No I didn't." She put her shirt back on. I couldn't help but stare as it glided down over her perfect breasts.

She walked over to her chair and picked it up. Then she plopped down into it.

"God Ashley this is getting so hard." She put her head in her hands.

I walked over and kneeled down in front of her spinning her chair so she was facing me completely.

"We can do this Spence. Not much longer. We can be together. Whenever, wherever, however we want. Look at me Spencer." She looked up at me, her blue eyes back to normal but a little sad.

"I love you and I am in this with you a hundred percent. Now why don't we go do something? Watch a movie, play a board game, I can teach you how to cook." She slugged me again.

"Do you like scrabble?" She asked excitingly.

I nodded.

"Good. Let's see how good you really are with your words."

After a reeeally long game of scrabble where I lost by over a hundred points we ordered pizza and watched a movie.

The movie ended and we just sat on the couch holding each other.

"So did you find a story you liked for class?" She asked.

"I did. Right before you caught me on my phone with Mads." I admitted.

"So you did actually read some of the book?"

"What did you think, that I started texting Madi right after you stopped talking?"

"That's not what I said." She said defensively.

"Good because that is not what happened." I snapped at her and immediately regretted it.

"So what did you pick?" Good, she changed the subject.

I walked over to my bag and pulled out the book. I tossed it to her. She found the bookmark and smiled.

"I love this story."

"Another thing we have in common." I smiled back at her.

"Read it to me." She begged.

"You have already read it."

"Read it to me Ash. It's been awhile."

"So you read it. What do you need me for?"

"I love your voice Ash. It's soothing and sexy." I looked down over at her and smirked.

"Read it to me pleeease." She gave me the puppy dog face and I couldn't resist.

"Fine."

I sat back into the couch and held my arm out for her to settle into me. Then I opened the book and began to read.

_Scarlet Stockings by Louisa May Alcott_

_"COME out for a drive, Harry?" _

_"Too cold." _

_"Have a game of billiards?" _

_"Too tired."_

By the end of the story she fell asleep..and it was a shooort story. I closed my eyes and pulled her closer. I sat there just happy to have her and to hold her.

After her nap and eventually mine (yes, I fell asleep again) we were in the kitchen cleaning up.

Something had been bothering me for the last couple hours and I had to talk to Spencer about it. I just hoped she wouldn't be too mad.

"Spence I need to talk to you about something." She was putting the extra pizza in the fridge and I was grabbing some more Coke.

She turned around and grabbed my hands.

"What's going on?" She asked concerned.

"I need to talk to you about Carmen."

_**Reviews please :)**_


	29. Chapter 29The end of a friendship

_**Thanks for the reviews everyone. They are always welcome. Good or bad. I want to know what you think. Your opinion does matter**_.

**Lesbefriends**- Thanks. And there will defintely be at least one more ALL SPASHLEY chapter before this story ends ;)

**momo0424**- Lol. glad you like the jelly scene and the chair scene. I think I actually laughed when I wrote it.

**invisiblinc**- Hope you like Spencer's reaction. :)

**Freindlygirl333**- Lol. Glad you approved :)

**hollymarie4**- Lol. Yeah I know it has been 28 chapters. But as I said in the beginning I wanted to do this right. So we have to wait ;) I am glad that you are still reading :) :) Most mind blowing sex? No pressure or anything. lol. I am glad you enjoyed the chapter. I sure enjoyed writing it ;) Miranda's exaggeration is just Miranda being silly Miranda. Spencer I would consider to be more of a older sister than an aunt though. Thanx for the review. Once again you made me laugh :)

**lisarichie**- I hope you enjoyed your cold shower ;)

**naranga87**- Boom-a-licious ! ;)

**xam452**- Thanx

_**A/N**: So I know a few of you have mentioned the 'no spashley sex' yet. I am soooo sorry to keep you waiting but it is for the good of the story. And the story is what matters the most. So of course I have given you a few teasers hoping to tie you over. There will be 'spashley sex' . No doubt about that. But it will be when the story calls for it. As you know they both want to wait until Ashley is no longer Spencer's student. So pleeeeease be patient and please keep reading. I appreciate your reviews and always consider your thoughts and feelings. Keep em coming and I will defintley keep the chapters coming :)_

_**I own nothing but my imagination. Oh and Miranda, Casey and Alyssa are mine :)**_

"What happened with Carmen? Did you guys get into another fight?" She asked worriedly.

"Not exactly. She uh. She kissed me."

"WHAT?" I knew that would be her reaction.

"Ok so I found her in the bathroom crying. For some odd reason that is beyond me I asked her what was up. She wasn't being a bitch like usual. She started asking me questions like how do I deal with people being mean to me because of who I am. I asked her why she cared and she kissed me. Then she told me she was gay and that she acted like she hated me because she didn't want people to know."

"So she kissed you?"

"That's all you got out of all of that huh?" I laughed.

"I can't believe that little wench kissed you." She said quietly almost like she was talking to herself.

"Spence did you hear anything I just said? Carmen is gay!"

"What did you do when she kissed you?" She had no reason to be jealous. Carmen is so…. Eww.

"I told her to never touch me again."

She smiled. "Now I have another reason to want the snot kicked out of that bitch." I laughed.

Spencer jealous is hot. Spencer swearing is even hotter.

"She tried to apologize too. I told her the way she treated Miranda was uncalled for and inexcusable." I paused and took a sip of my coke.

"I told her she needed to prove she wasn't just a big bully who picked on people. And that she needed to stop hiding because nobody liked the fake her anyway."

She chuckled. "Do you think she is going to listen?"

"I don't know Spence and I really don't care. Hiding or not she had no right to act the way she has for the past two years."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier Spence. I promised her I wouldn't say anything to anyone but you are my girlfriend and she means nothing to me."

"I'm glad you told me Ash."

She wrapped her arms around my waist and pulled me into her. Our noses touched and then finally our lips.

"_My _lips." She said possessively before pulling the bottom one into her mouth.

"If she kisses you again I might quite possibly beat her down myself."

I shook my head. "Now that is something I would pay to see."

"I really don't want to go home tonight but I probably should." I didn't want to sleep in a bed without Spencer ever again.

"You should go. You do kind of smell." She smiled and I slapped her arm.

"I don't really smell bad do I?" I pouted.

"No, not at all." She leaned in a kissed my neck and then my ear. "You smell amazing."

Then her lips were on mine. Hard and hungry and then soft and sweet. Her hands left my waist and moved slowly up my arms and then cradled my face. She leaned her head on my forehead.

"I love you so much Ash."

I couldn't help but smile but at the same time cry. A tear escaped my eye and rolled down my cheek. She kissed it away.

"Don't cry. You'll make me cry and then we'll both look like a bunch of blubbering fools."

I laughed. "I'm sorry Spence. It's just that I never thought I would ever feel this strongly for someone or that someone could feel this way for me. It's all still a little overwhelming." I rested my forehead back on hers. "I don't think I could live without you."

She held my face in her hands again and hunched down to look up at me.

"You won't ever have to." She pulled me into her arms and held me.

"I'm not going anywhere Ash. I'm right here with you. Always."

Those words should have been comforting but they weren't. They just scared me. I don't know why, they just did. She held me for a few minutes and then pulled back.

"You should go before I am not able to let you."

"I can stay if you want me to Spence."

"I want you to but you need to go. I'll see you in the morning okay?"

One last kiss and I walked out the door.

"See you in the morning."

I walked into my big, empty and dark house. It was quiet except for the pitter patter of little paws running my way. Poor Spike. He deserved better.

I scooped him up and he instantly licked my face. "I'm sorry Spikey. I promise I am going to be a better mommy."

I ran upstairs to my room and laid him down on my bed. He walked around in a circle until he finally found a spot.

I stripped down and headed to the bathroom when my phone went off. Probably Spence. She missed me already.

Nope. It was Casey.

_Hey Ash, are you home? I need to talk to you._ –Case

I quickly texted her back. I was naked and freezing.

_Yeah, I'm home._ –Ash

I took the phone into the bathroom and turned the water on.

_Can I come over? _– Case

I sighed. Should I let her come over? She was my best friend for most of my life. I couldn't say no.

_Yeah, just give me 30. Jumping in the shower_.- Ash

_K, See you soon_.- Case

I got out of the shower and dried off. With the towel around my head I walked into my room.

Shit!

"Case I said give me 30. It's been like 10." She didn't say anything she just stared at me from her spot on my bed. She had seen me naked many times before but it was different now.

"Case?"

"Sorry Ash. I was on my way when I called. I was hoping you would be home and let me come over." She turned her head and started petting Spike.

"Chill. It's not like I haven't seen you naked before." She rolled her eyes.

"It's different now." I said as I slid on some boxers.

"Why because I'm in love with you? I was in love with you back then."

No it's different because I have a girlfriend and she _already_ wants to beat Carmen down. Don't worry, I didn't really say that.

"No. It's different because we're not sleeping together anymore."

I threw on a shirt and went back into the bathroom. I dried and brushed my hair and then brushed my teeth.

When I came back into the bedroom Casey was standing by my book shelf holding a picture. "I miss you Ash. I am so lost without you." She started crying and on instinct I pulled her into me and held her.

"I'm here Case. Maybe not like you want me to be but I'm still here."

"I know. I'm sorry." I walked us over to the bed and sat us down.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

Once again I couldn't say no.

"Sure. I'll get you some pajamas."

We said goodnight and slid into bed. Yes she stayed in my bed with me. We had done this a million times before as friends and this time would be no different.

The alarm went off and I awoke with an arm on my stomach and a head rested on my chest. I wished it was Spencer but it was not. It was Casey of course. I leaned over to turn off the alarm and she stirred.

"Sorry Ash. Habit I guess." She said as she sat up.

"It's okay." I rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom.

We got ready and ate some cereal for breakfast. Then I kissed Spike goodbye and we left for school.

"Could I get a ride with you Ash?"

"I have to go to the hospital after school to visit Alyssa." I looked over at her and she looked disappointed.

"I have to come home first though so I guess I could drop you off."

This girl still had a hold on me. She knew me and she knew how to get what she wanted.

"You sure?" She knew I was.

"Yeah. Let's go."

We hopped into the Camaro and headed off. I stopped at Tim Horton's again for my cappuccino and I got a coffee for Spence. Which I told Casey was for Madi. She got a coffee as well.

When we pulled into the parking lot Spencer had just pulled up as well.

"Why are we here so early again?" Casey asked.

"I like getting a close spot. You know how lazy I can be."

"Okay. Whatever you say." She laughed. She knew it was more than that but didn't press.

We got out of the car and Spencer spotted us. She smiled at me but then she saw Casey and the smile disappeared. Great. She's mad.

We finally parted ways when we stepped in the doors. I headed to my locker and took some books out to put in my bag. Then I quickly walked to class. I had to explain Casey to Spencer.

She was writing on the chalk board when I walked in.

"Shut the door." She said without looking away from the board.

I shut the door.

"Have a seat."

I set the coffee down on her desk and took my seat. My seat at the front. Haha Cassandra Wheatley.

She turned around and immediately saw the coffee. She looked up with a question in her eyes.

"Ya know, since I stole yours the other morning."

She smiled and took a sip.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Look Spence nothing happened with Casey. She stayed over last night but it was nothing but innocent. I promise."

She laughed. I didn't know if I should be scared or relieved.

"I know Ash. I trust you." She said looking down at whatever she was writing on.

"You looked mad out in the parking lot and pissed a few minutes ago."

"I was jealous in the parking lot." She finally looked up at me.

"I figured she stayed the night and I was jealous because I missed you so much last night. I almost drove over to your house."

"Really?"

"Yes really. I missed your cute snoring." She grinned.

"Ugh. I do not snore. And nothing about me is cute."

She laughed again.

"So what was that when I first came in? I thought I was in deep shit."

"I was just messing with you Ash." She took another sip of her coffee and smirked at me behind the cup.

"That was not nice."

"Neither was the jelly or the chair incident." She had to bring those up. How was I supposed to focus on school now?

"So we're even then?" I asked.

She walked over to the door.

"Not even close." She said as she opened it.

The bell rang and kids started filing in.

Cassandra Wheatley was once again not happy. I just smilid and used my thumb to direct her to her seat. She scowled at me.

Madi came in late and shook her head at me. I just shrugged.

Spencer started class and we all turned in our picks for the two stories and two poems. My story was not picked but that was okay with me. Some of the more popular short stories were picked. The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving and of course The Tell Tale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe. Not even funny. I did not want to read that again and I sure as hell didn't want to discuss it for a week. For poems the class chose popular poems as well. The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost and Song of Myself from the Leaves of Grass poetry collection from Walt Whitman. I had actually chose Song of Myself so I was happy with that.

I opened my book to look for The Legend of Sleepy Hollow, the first story we were discussing. There was a page marked that I didn't remember marking. I opened the page and smiled. It was Somewhere I Have Never Travelled, Gladly Beyond by E. E. Cummings. The same poem that I had quoted in the note that she caught Madi and I passing to each other over a month ago. There was a little post-it note that had marked the page. It had something written on the back of it.

_What you mean to me…Stanza 5_

It was in Spencer's handwriting. I look down at the poem.

_I don't know what it is about you that closes and opens, only something in me understands; the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses_

I couldn't breathe. My eyes started to water. It was hard to swallow.

This poem was always special to me. And when I thought of Spencer I always thought of this poem.

What E.E. Cummings was saying here was that he couldn't explain his feelings for his love. It was something he couldn't put into words. Because there weren't any. When he looked into his lover's eyes he could just feel how real and deep the love was. I guess that is the way that Spencer felt.

I looked up at Spencer who was suddenly right beside my desk. She was handing out papers. She smiled at me but her eyes were telling me so much more. I smiled back and my eyes told her the same thing. "I love you."

Class ended and I gave Spencer a smile before I walked out. She smiled back and then started talking to another student. When I got outside of the classroom Madi was waiting for me.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not stupid Ash." Okaaay.

"I didn't say you were." I started walking whether she was ready or not.

She grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Is something going on with you and Mrs. Dennison?" Oh boy. Not good.

"Are you crazy? And keep your voice down."

"Like I said Ash, I'm not stupid. Something is going on." She's not going to drop this is she?

"Can we not talk about this right now? I need to get to class and you're annoying me."

"Fine. But we are going to talk about this later." She let go of my arm.

Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!

This isn't the first time Madi has brought this up. She noticed something at my birthday party too. What was I going to tell her? I couldn't tell her the truth. I trusted Madi but this was just too risky. I had to lie. Somehow I had to make her believe nothing was going on. Somehow.

The next couple hours went by sloooooowly. I made it to lunch and Madi pulled me aside.

"Come on. We are going out to lunch. My treat." She said as she pulled me out to her car.

It was a quiet ride to Subway mostly because I was trying to figure out how to get out of this. She was busy on the phone with her on again and off again boyfriend. We ordered our food and sat on the grass behind her car in the parking lot.

"So, you going to tell me what's going on with you and Mrs. D?" She asked and then took a bite from her sub.

"I already told you. Nothing." I took a sip of my drink.

"I know you already told me…nothing. I want to know..something. So spill."

"What makes you think there is…something?"

"I have eyes. And there was definitely something in _her_ eyes the night of your party. Not to mention the subtle glances in class. And oh yeah, you sitting in the front row. The Ashley Davies I know would never seat in the front row of any class no matter how hot the teacher was."

I sighed and shook my head.

"Look we both know I have a crush on her. She knows that too." I had to give her something. But what and how much?

"It's more than that and we both know it." Ugh Madi you're so annoying. And sooo right.

"I told her okay. I told her that I had a crush on her and that I wanted her. She turned me down okay?" I was desperate for her to believe me.

"What did she say?"

"She said I was too young and her student and a girl." It wasn't a lie. That is what she initially said.

"I believe the too young and her student part but I don't think she cares that you're a girl Ash. In fact I think she kind of has a crush on you too."

"What makes you think that?"

"I told you. Her eyes. The way they were looking at you when you were up on that stage. The way they are always on you in class. Especially when you aren't looking." She smiled at me.

"Since when are you so observant? And why are _you _always watching her? Kind of creepy Mads. Unless you have a crush on her too."

"Please girl. I admit she is hot but not my type. You know I love the .." I covered her mouth so she couldn't finish. How I hated hearing that word in any form.

"So again I ask, why are you always watching her?"

"When you were singing I saw you look up towards your dad. At least I thought you were looking at him. I saw Spencer smile at you and you returned it. But it wasn't the smile. It was the eyes. There was something in your eyes that I had never seen before. And then she looked back at you with the same intensity. In class you guys try so hard to not show it but I see it. Ash I know this isn't just some crush. I've noticed the way you have changed. You haven't been with a girl in over a month. You haven't even looked at another girl. And you're like Miss Honor Roll now. You're early to class and go to all of your other classes. You're doing all of this volunteer stuff now. The way you are with Miranda. You've changed or at least started being the real you."

She put her hand over mine and squeezed it.

"I will accept you telling me that there is nothing going on with you and our teacher if that is what you want. But just know that if there was I wouldn't judge. I loved the old Ashley just as much as I do this one. But I am more proud of this one. I don't know if this new you has anything to do with a certain blonde but I do know that this new you is in love. I know it's not just a crush. You don't change your life for a crush. Especially if they don't or don't want to love you back. I understand why you can't tell me Ash and I am fine with that. Just promise me I can help plan the wedding." She smiles big and I can't help but smile back.

"You're crazy. But like I have said a million times, there is nothing going on between us. Okay?" She shook her head still smiling.

"Okay. Whatever you say."

"Good. Can I eat my sub now?"

We headed back to school and of course we saw Spencer as she was leaving.

"Goodbye Mrs. Dennison. Hope you have a wonderful day." Madi said. I could have smacked her.

"Goodbye Madison. Hope you have a wonderful day as well. Goodbye Ashley." She gave a small wave as she opened her car door.

"See ya Teach." I said nonchalantly and kept walking. I didn't even look at her when I said it. I hope she wasn't mad. Madi just laughed at me. Bitch.

The next few hours flew by thankfully. Casey and I went to the locker room after gym and grabbed our things. After stopping by our lockers we headed to my car. As soon as I sat down my phone rang.

"Ashley?"

"Yes it is. Ms. Cooper?"

"Yes dear it's me." She sounded upset.

"Is everything alright?" Please say yes.

"Yes everything is okay it's just that Alyssa is having a bad day."

"Oh. Do you not think I should come by then?"

"No,no. I was hoping you were. It's just what she needs today. Are you going to be by soon?"

"Yeah. I was just on my way."

"Okay good because she is real tired and I don't know how long she will be awake."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes or less depending on the traffic."

"Sounds good. See you soon."

"Okay bye."

I looked over at Casey.

"Hope you didn't have any plans tonight."

"Nope. It's fine. I wanted to meet Alyssa anyway. If that's okay with you."

"It's fine with me. I'll have to ask Alyssa though."

"Of course."

We got to the hospital in 14 minutes. Hey, I've got a Camaro and I know how to use it.

When we got to her room Ms. Cooper was sitting outside of it. The nurse was helping Alyssa get dressed after a shower. Ms. Cooper looked upset. Something was going on.

"They're moving her." Is all she said.

"Moving her where?"

"Down the hall. It's a smaller room and the window is facing the parking lot. She is so upset Ashley. I couldn't calm her down. I don't know what to do." She started crying and I reached for her. She instantly latched on. She sobbed into my shoulder. I knew it was the right time. It was time to tell her what I had done.

"Everything is going to be okay Ms. Cooper. Alyssa doesn't have to move down the hall. I've made arrangements."

With that she looked up at me. Her eyes red and puffy and questioning.

"What do you mean? Arrangements?"

"I've talked with the hospital, my lawyers and my father. If everything is okay with you I would like to take her out of this hospital. She would still get the care she needed but she would be more comfortable. You both would."

"Ashley , thank you. But we don't have a home anymore. I had to let it go. I couldn't make the payments. This is our home." Her voice cracked.

"I know all about the house. Alyssa told me everything. She also said that she dreamed of living off the ocean. She wanted to sleep with the ocean breeze blowing through her windows. I can give her that. If there is one thing I can do, I can do that for her. This doesn't have to be your home."

"How? Why?" Is all she said.

"My family owns a beach house in Malibu. It's huge and it's right off the ocean. I have made arrangements for Alyssa to be transferred there. Along with a 24 hour nurse and 2 doctors on call. I have a room set up for her on the lower floor with big windows and a door to the patio. She doesn't have to stay here. Give me the word and we can leave as soon as they give the okay."

She didn't say anything for what seemed like minutes. She just stared at me with her tired, teary eyes. Then all of the sudden she grabbed me and held me tight as she cried into my chest. Of course this brought on my tears and I held her back just as tight.

"Everything is going to be okay Ms. Cooper."

After we told Alyssa the news she practically attacked me too. She was happy to meet Casey whom I had told her a lot about in the past. They got along pretty well. They probably had more in common than even Miranda and I had with her. I spoke with the doctors and they made the arrangements for her to leave in the morning. I left the hospital feeling so relieved and so happy.

I let Casey drive the Camaro to my house. I know, I can't believe it either. But I had to make so important texts and they couldn't wait. I opened my phone to text Spencer and there was two waiting for me.

_I miss you. –S _

I smiled and opened the next one.

_I love you. –S_

I texted her back.

_I miss you and love you too. Got good news. Can I see you tonight?_ –A

Next I called my lawyer and made sure all the money stuff was worked out. Then I called my dad to tell him the good news.

We pulled up to the house and I was still on the phone. Casey grabbed my hand to get my attention.

"I forgot something up in your room. I'm going to go up." She whispered.

I nodded and then continued the conversation with my dad. After about 5 minutes I ended the call and walked into the house. Casey still hadn't come back down. I wondered what she was doing. I walked up to my room. My phone beeped on the way up.

_Can't wait to see you.-_S

I grinned like a little school girl in love.. which I was, and continued up the stairs.

When I opened the door I didn't see her. Hmm. Maybe she went downstairs. I threw my bag on my bed and started to walk to the bathroom when the door opened just as I got to it.

Oh My God!

Standing in front of me wearing nothing but her jewelry was Casey. And I stood nearly 2 ft. from her with my mouth wide open. I had always been attracted to Casey. She had a very fit body. Toned legs and abs. Nothing like my abs but pretty darn close. She had the sexiest smirk on her face that I had ever seen her wear. As she walked closer to me I couldn't move. My eyes went from her legs to her chest veeery slowly before they finally met her lust filled eyes. She was almost up against me when she cupped my face and leaned in to kiss me. Finally I find my voice.

"Case. What are you doing?" My voice was shaky and unsure.

"What we both want me to do." She said seductively.

"You want this. I don't." I shook my head.

"Really? That's not what your eyes said."

"There you go listening to my eyes again." I moved away from her but backed into the wall. Uh oh. This isn't good.

"Your eyes are more truthful." She said moving slowly towards me again. I tried my best to keep my eyes off of her body.

"Look Case. There's no doubt that I am attracted to you. I am not denying that. But I can't do this with you anymore." I held my hand out to try and stop her.

"I should have never told you I was in love with you. I'm sorry that I did. But I still need you Ash."

"I can't give you what you want. I can't give you what you need. I don't love you like that Case."

She took my hand that was keeping her from me and held it against the wall and then took her other hand and cupped my center.

"This is what a want. This is what I need." She whispered in my ear.

Casey's hand on my center was comfortable and familiar. It brought back memories of the good times we had. If there was anyone in my life who even made me feel half of what Spencer made me feel it was Casey. With her I felt safe, warm and content. But I was never in love with her. I knew what that was like now. I knew what love was.

I pulled her hand off of me and gently pushed her away.

"What is wrong with you?" She yelled.

"I told you I can't." I walked over to my bed, sat down and put my head in my hands.

"Please put your clothes back on."

"I don't get you Ashley. For the last couple years you have made it known that you wanted to be with me. We tried and tried and it didn't work. But you didn't stop. Constantly flirting with me. Constantly hitting on me. Hinting to me that you wanted to fuck me whenever you had the chance. You didn't care that I had a girlfriend. I wanted you too Ash. I wanted you all this time. Never once did I stop loving you. So I break up with my girlfriend who made me very happy so we could finally be together and now you say you don't want me. Who the fuck are you?" She grabbed her clothes and started putting them on.

"I don't understand. When did things change? When did you stop wanting me? When I was suddenly available? Do you know how fucked up that is?" She was getting angrier and angrier.

"Who do you think you are? You can't play with people like that Ashley. God how fucking stupid am I? I broke up with a great girl for you. Tell me why. I want to know why?" She was now kneeling on the floor in front of me. She was in my face.

"Tell me why Ashley. I deserve the truth. I at least deserve that. And don't fucking lie to me. I know you better than anyone." She started crying.

"Tell me." She screamed through her tears.

I couldn't lie to her even if I wanted to.

"I fell in love." I said quietly.

She looked at me with tears streaming down her face. Her face changed. She was confused.

"You fell in love?"

"Yes."

She smiled and then started laughing as she stood up. She started pacing.

"Ashley we both know that the only person you have ever been in love with is yourself. Try again."

"I know it's so hard to believe. Poor little damaged Ashley couldn't possibly fall in love. Fuck you Casey. I don't need your negativity. I need people in my life who believe in me. People who love me without wanting something from me. If you can't accept that then I can't have you in my life." I stood up and walked to the door holding it open for her.

"You need to go." I said without looking at her.

She grabbed her bag and stopped to face me.

"I do believe in you Ash. I love you. I've always loved you. I loved Ashley the fuck up and even poor little damaged Ashley. Both of those Ashley's are still in there." She pointed to my heart.

"Even the Ashley I've seen in the last month. The Ashley I saw today. That Ashley has always been there too. I have always believed in you Ash. The good, the bad, all of you. I'm glad that you finally started believing in yourself. I want to be in your life Ash. But I don't know how to if I'm not loving you. So I guess I can't." She caressed my face and I didn't stop her. Her big droopy brown eyes were starting to fill with tears again. As were mine.

"I'll always love you Ash. Don't forget that. I hope that whoever this girl is that you're in love with can love you like you deserve." She leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"Forever Ash. That's how long I'll love you. I'll be here if you need me."

When she was finally out of sight I slid down the door. I sat on the floor and I cried. It was over for me and Casey. I was going to miss her so much.

I slowly stood up and walked over to my bag. I grabbed my phone and called the one person who could help me.

"Hey Ash, what's up?"

"I need you. Can you come over?"

_**Review please. Reviews=Inspiration=Faster updates :)**_

"


	30. Chapter 30 Just a kiss

It's back! For those of you who didn't get the pleasure of reading this chapter. Enjoy! Thank you to the readers responsible for making this happen. You don't know how much I appreciate it. And I have now learned the meaning of "back up your files" Lol.

_I own nothing buy my imagination_

She was here in less than 20 minutes. I wonder how many accidents she caused on the way here. She let herself in with the key I gave her and found me in my room face down, crying on my bed.

"Ash?" She sat down on the bed and rubbed my back affectionately. "What happened?"

"Casey happened. We are no longer friends. I told her I didn't want her in my life. She can't just be my friend so she doesn't want to be in it either."" I paused when she handed me a tissue. "She was my best friend my entire life. She's always been there for me, not always the way she should have been but she was still there."

"Ash what the hell happened for you two to end your friendship?"

I turned around and sat up against the head board. I explained to her what happened and she just stood there with her eyes as big as saucers and her mouth wide open.

"Nooooo. She didn't." I laughed.

"Yes. She definitely did."

"Wow!" She said still in shock.

"No kidding. I just don't get it. Casey has never acted that way. But then again she never had to. All she had to do was look at me a certain way and I was hers. She actually had me being mad at myself tonight and I am pretty damn sure I did nothing wrong. And after she left I wanted to go after her and make sure she was okay. What the hell is wrong with me?" I started banging my head against the wall.

"Ash there is nothing wrong with you. You're human. You care about her. Like you said she was your best friend. Of course you were concerned for her."

I scooted off the side of the bed and pulled her into a hug.

"Thank you Miranda. I really needed someone to talk to and you always seem to make me feel better."

"You don't have to thank me Ash. I'm your friend. That's what friends are for right?" She pulled away from the hug and I tugged her back into my arms.

"You're more than just a friend. You're my best friend. I am lucky to have you."

I finally let her go and she grabbed my phone off the table next to the bed.

"You need to call Spencer. She was so worried about you." She handed me the phone and started walking out of the room. "I'll be downstairs raiding the fridge if you need me." She smiled and then was gone.

She picked up on the second ring.

"_Ash__,__ are you okay_?" Now I felt worse. Spencer was worried about me.

"Yeah Spence I'm fine. Casey and I got into another fight and some things happened and you know what, I would rather talk to you about it in person."

"_God Ash I was so worried when Miranda told me you called her. And then I was even more worried that you didn't call me. Are you sure you are alright_?"

"Yes Spencer. I am fine. You don't need to worry. I just really needed a friend to talk to and considering it was about Casey I thought Miranda would be best." I paused and repositioned myself in my bed. "I wish you were holding me right now Spence." My voice cracked when I said her name.

"_Then come over Ashley."_

"Spence."

"_Please Ash. Come over so I can see for myself that you are okay_."

"I'm okay Spence. I promise."

"_Ashley , get your cute little ass over here. I won't take no for an answer_."

"You just called my ass cute. I think I will stay home tonight." She knew I was joking. At least I hoped she did.

"_Fine. Ashley get your sexy ass over here. Now_!" Now that's what I am talking about.

"That's more like it Spence. I'll get a ride with Miranda. That's if she is done eating all of my food."

"How am I going to tell Spencer what happened with Casey?" I asked when we pulled out of my drive way.

"You have to tell her Ash. You can't keep this from her. Just be honest with her and I'm sure everything will work itself out." She held my hand over the console and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"I hope you're right."

When we got there Spencer was already in bed. I crept up the stairs slowly only to find her reading. She was wearing light blue pajama bottoms, a white tank top, and those black glasses that for some reason I find so sexy. Her hair was down, she was void of makeup and the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She finally saw me and tossed her book and glasses onto the night stand. All the drama from earlier became a distant memory when she opened her arms to me and I sunk into them.

I breathed her in and kissed her softly.

"I missed you." I whispered inches from her lips.

"I missed you too." She kissed me and held me to her a little tighter.

"Are you okay?" She asked concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah. A lot happened today. Some good and some bad."

"Do you want to talk to me about it?"

"I'll talk to you about the good. Alyssa will be transferred to the beach house tomorrow afternoon. Everything's been taken care of. I need to talk to Mr. Goodman tomorrow to see if I can leave at lunch. I need to be there when she gets there. Spence she was so happy. I wish you could have seen her smile."

"Ashley I am so proud of you. What you did was very generous and caring. You have such a good heart. You're amazing."

She caressed my cheek and I kissed her hand.

"What about the bad? Do you want to talk about that?" Uh, not really.

"I want to talk to you about it but can we wait until tomorrow? I just don't want to think about it anymore tonight."

"Okay. We'll talk tomorrow then." She smiled and then ran her hands through her hair before she laid her head down on my chest.

"Spence I'm going to be playing tomorrow night at Pure. Are you going to come?"

She lifted her head off my chest to look at me.

"I probably shouldn't but you know I will. I can't explain what watching you up on that stage does to me."

"Oh really?" I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"Really." She wiggled hers back.

"So you're going to come then?" I smirked at her. She definitely got the double meaning.

"Yes I will be there." She laughed and shook her head.

"You should bring your friends. I would love to meet them. You know as Miranda's best friend."

"We'll see."

"We should get some sleep Ash."

"Mmm sleep sounds good after the long, drama filled day I had."

I kissed her head and whispered good night. I fell asleep holding her in my arms.

I woke up when the alarm went off at 5 a.m. I don't know how I had slept through it before. It was rather loud. Somehow we were in the same position that we had fallen asleep in. I was still holding her. This was the first time I had woken up cuddling with Spencer. It was the first time I had woken up cuddling with anyone. It was wonderful.

She threw her arm over and slapped the alarm clock and it fell off of the night stand. I laughed.

"Remind me to never wake you up."

She smiled with her eyes still closed and went back to cuddling with me.

"You have to get up Spence." I ran my hand through her hair and kissed her head.

"No. Too warm." She groaned.

"Never seemed to matter to you all the other times we have slept together."

"This is the first time I have woken up in your arms. Usually I wake up cold."

"Let's just sleep in then."

"That sounds so tempting."

The alarm clock started ringing again from the floor and it startled us. Spencer jumped out of bed and nearly fell to the floor herself trying to turn it off.

I couldn't hold back my laughter.

She glared at me.

"Sorry Spence. I don't know how I have slept through you and your issues with the alarm clock."

"It's not usually that loud." She put it back on the night stand and stretched. I caught a glimpse of her stomach and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. I don't know how I was looking at her but she looked at me curiously.

"What?" She asked.

"Uh. Nothing."

"What?" She asked again. Not buying my answer.

"You're so beautiful."

She smiled with a bit of a blush and then got back on the bed and started crawling towards me. She straddled me and leaned in for a kiss. She hovered above my lips and whispered "I love you."

"Right back at ya babe."

I put us out of our misery and pulled her head down so that our lips could finally touch. The kiss was gentle and slow and perfect. Savoring the taste of each other's lips. Then suddenly she pulled away and hopped off of me and off the bed.

She was almost out the door when she turned around.

"You getting up now?"

"Well since I am fully awake now, yes I am getting up." She chuckled and walked out the door.

Our morning started the same. Coffee and kisses. She left around 6:30 and Miranda and I left shortly after. She took me to get my car since I would be leaving at lunch to go to Malibu.

I made it to 1st period without running into Casey. When I walked into the classroom it was empty. Spencer's coat and briefcase were there but she wasn't. I sat down and pulled out my I-pod. 5 minutes later students starting filing in and I was bummed. I guess I had to wait until tonight to talk to Spencer again. I closed my eyes and started humming the song that was playing. Only to have an ear bud yanked pulled out.

"Morning Ash." Madi winked at me and then walked back to her seat.

Still no Spencer. I was actually getting worried.

Then finally she came bursting through the door.

And Damn!

She looked so damn hot. And yes I did see her before she left the house but seeing her at school as my teacher looking like that.

Damn!

Her hair was down around her shoulders and she had her glasses propped on the top of her head. She was wearing a white button down blouse with the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons open at the top. But I couldn't take my eyes off of her legs. Her beautiful, tan and toned legs. Spencer didn't wear a lot of skirts and I for the life of me couldn't figure out why. I was sure in for a treat today.

"Sorry guys. Everyone open your books tooooo..Page 234. Who would like to start us off?" Of course Cassandra Wheatley volunteered. Suck up.

She started reading and I looked up at Spencer.

"Everything ok?" I mouthed to her.

She nodded and looked back down at her book.

Class went on slooowly but I didn't mind. I had a whole bucket full of eye candy right before me. And man did I have a sweet tooth. She caught me staring at her several times and kept pointing down at my book, shaking her head and one time I could have sworn she blushed. In fact I know she did. I sure hope Madi didn't catch that. I would never hear the end of that. The bell rang and I gathered my stuff up and at the last possible minute stood up to leave. Just as I was about to approach Spencer, Cassandra got in front of me and started talking about extra credit with her. Ugh, that girl is really beginning to get on my nerves.

I got out my notebook and wrote her a note. I set it on her desk underneath her glasses and then reluctantly left.

Somehow I was lucky enough to get to lunch without running into Casey, and I hadn't seen Carmen since she kissed me so that was good. I walked to Mr. Goodman's office and just as I was about to go in my phone rang. It was Ms. Cooper. She explained to me that Alyssa wasn't feeling well today so they were going to wait until tomorrow or Saturday to move her. She said that I shouldn't stop by today that she would probably sleep most of the day. I got a sick feeling in my stomach just knowing she wasn't feeling well. I quickly walked to Spencer's classroom and she was gathering her things probably getting ready to leave.

"Ash what's wrong?" She came to me and put her hand on my arm.

"Go sit down." She said and then closed the door.

She sat down sideways on the chair next to me. Staying as far away as she possibly could.

"Alyssa's not feeling good today so they're not moving her until tomorrow, maybe Saturday. Her mom doesn't want me to come by today."

She reached her hand out but then pulled it back. She wanted to comfort me and I wanted so badly for her to hold me. As hot as dating your teacher sounds it really does suck sometimes.

"Why don't you come over after school? I don't have classes today. We can talk okay?"

"Yeah."

"You should get to lunch." She said and then walked to the door and opened it. I got up and walked to the door and leaned against the door way. We just stood there staring at each other.

"I love you." I mouthed.

"I love you too." She mouthed back.

I walked to the quad after grabbing some food from the cafeteria. I didn't get much. Just a slice of pizza, a fruit cup and a Coke of course. I was about 10 feet from the table and I couldn't move any closer. Casey was there. Casey was there acting like nothing had happened. She was sitting with Madi, Chelsea, Kyla and Miranda.

"Hey" Miranda said when she saw me. She walked up to me. "I thought you were leaving."

"They're not moving her today."

"Oh. Well come sit down." I looked over at the table and Casey was staring at me.

"Or we can sit over there." She pointed towards the table with Amanda and Glenda.

"Uh..no" I sat down at the table and didn't look up. I opened my fruit bowl.

"I have to go get something from my car. I'll see you guys later." Casey said and then got up and walked away.

"Okay what was that?" Madi asked confused.

"Long story. And no I don't want to talk about it right now." I took a big bite out of my pizza and looked away.

Madi took the hint and started talking to Chelsea and Kyla about the stupid prom thing that was this weekend. No thank you. Miranda grabbed my hand.

"Sorry. She came and sat down and I didn't want to be rude."

"You don't have to apologize Miranda. It's okay."

The next few classes dragged on and I was contemplating skipping my last class. Avoiding Casey all together was starting to sound like a great idea. Somehow I ended up there anyway. I didn't even go to the locker room I just headed to the gym and plopped down on the bleachers. Ms. Matthews just shook her head. Whatever.

I put my I-pod on and leaned back into the bleachers. I actually dozed off a bit but was woken abruptly buy a ball hitting me hard in the chest. I quickly sit up and look out to see Casey smirking.

"Sorry. Slipped."

I glared at her and she just turned around walking back to the game they were playing.

I sighed. Bitch.

I could not wait to get to Spencer's. I just wanted her to hold me and never let go. I walked in the door and she was sitting on couch watching some documentary again. My baby was such a nerd a very hot nerd.

"Hi."

"Hi." I leaned down and kissed her and then sat down very close to her.

She immediately snuggled into me.

"Whatcha watching?"

"Nothing." She said turning off the T.V.

"So you ready to talk?" Not really.

She sensed my reluctance.

"Ash you can't keep it all in."

"I know. So what do want me to talk about? Casey or Alyssa."

"Whatever is easier at the moment."

I laughed.

"So neither."

She looked at me ruefully.

I elaborated.

"I lost Casey last night and I could lose Alyssa at any minute. I couldn't do anything about losing Casey and I sure as hell can't do anything about losing Alyssa."

I put my head in my hands and ran my fingers through my hair. I felt her put her arm around me and then she kissed my head.

"I'm here Ashley, talk to me."

"Trust me you don't want to hear what I have to say."

She was confused.

"I don't want any secrets between us Spence so I'm going to tell you what happened last night. It's just hard because I know you are going to be mad."

Now she was curious and a bit scared. I had no problem reading that.

"She called me last night and asked to come over. She wanted to talk. I told her okay and to give me a half hour because I needed to jump in the shower. When I got out ten minutes later she was already there and I was naked. Nothing happened but she was staring at me. I went back to the bathroom and got dressed. When I came back out she was looking at a picture of us and was crying. I felt like I should comfort her so I did. As you already know she stayed the night."

"Did you sleep with her?" She interrupted. Her face was neutral.

"If by sleep you mean SLEEP then yes."

"Yes." Oh boy she doesn't look happy.

"So you let a girl who you know is in love with you sleep with you in your bed? A girl who you used to have sex with. A girl that no doubt still wants to have sex with you."

And there is the reaction I was waiting for. Anger. And I hadn't even gotten to the worst part.

"Yes. But she was my best friend Spence. It's not like we haven't slept in the same bed before. As friends. And nothing happened."

"Ashley that is not the point. You didn't know about her feelings then. You do now. That wasn't fair to her. That wasn't fair to me. Your girlfriend." Her face was turning red. She stood up and walked over to the window.

"Spence you knew she slept over. You said you weren't mad."

"I didn't know she shared your bed with you. Damn Ashley what were you thinking?" She asked not even looking at me.

"It was nothing. Nothing happened."

"Again not the point." She yelled finally looking my way.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. I guess I just wasn't..thinking."

"I guess not."

She was right. I shouldn't have let her stay in my bed with me. If it had been the other way around I would have been fuming.

"What happened last night?" She said sitting down on the table in front of me.

"I don't think I even want to know."

I put my head down and looked at the floor. If she was mad now she was going to be ** in a minute.

"She kind of tried to .. seduce me." I still couldn't look at her.

"She kind of tried?" I didn't say anything.

"Look at me Ashley." She demanded.

"What happened? Start from the beginning."

"We came home from the hospital and I was still on the phone with my dad. She said she left something up in my room and went up to get it. I went up about 5 minutes after her. When I got to my room." I paused and took a deep breath.

"She was naked."

Spencer closed her eyes and rubbed her face.

"Go on."

"I told her once again that I didn't want her like that but she didn't listen. She wouldn't listen. She pushed me up against the wall and she.."

"Did she touch you?" She asked calmly which kind of scared me.

She already knew the answer.

I nodded.

"How the hell could you let that happen?" She stood back up and started pacing.

"I don't know. One minute she was just standing there and the next she had me up against the wall with her hand between my legs."

She scowled at me. Then walked over to the window again. Her arms were crossed and I think she was biting her tongue.

I got up and walked closer to her. I didn't touch her. I was afraid.

"I pushed her away Spence. I told her I didn't want her in anyway and to put her clothes back on." I paused to see if she had a response. She didn't.

"After she yelled at me for about 20 minutes I told her I didn't want her in my life anymore. I told her to leave and she left." The last part came out quietly. I was slightly trembling and my voice cracked.

"I have to go. I need some air." She started walking towards the door. I reached out and tried to grab her arm. She pulled away.

"I need some time to think. Alone." And she walked out the door of her own house.

I walked over to the couch and sat down with my head in my hands.

I fucked up. I fucked up bad. Fuck!

"That didn't go too well." I looked up to see Miranda standing in the door way.

"What gave you that impression?"

"She'll come around. She's mad. You screwed up Ash but you didn't screw up enough for her to not forgive you. She just needs a little time."

"Thanks Miranda." I started to cry and she was at my side in seconds.

She ran her hands through my hair.

"Everything will be okay Ash." Then suddenly she was gone. Where did she go?

After a few minutes she was back with a wash cloth. She turned my face towards her and started wiping my cheeks.

"Your mascara is running. It's kind of scary." She smiled.

I mustered up a smile and let her clean my face.

She took the wash cloth back to the bathroom and I stood up. I grabbed my bag and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go home. I don't think she wants to see me right now and she shouldn't have to avoid her own home."

"Okay. Call me if you need me." She hugged me tightly and I hugged her back.

"Thanks. And I will." I kissed her cheek and left.

As I laid in bed I thought of all the ways I could have possibly went wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have let Casey come over. Maybe I shouldn't have comforted her. Maybe I shouldn't have let her stay the night. Maybe I shouldn't have let her share my bed. Maybe I shouldn't have drove her to school or taken her with me to the hospital. I know I shouldn't have let her back me up into that wall. I know I shouldn't have let her grope me. I couldn't move. I couldn't say no to her. It's always been that way. She knows me. She plays me. I know that but I still let it happen. It doesn't really matter now. She is out of my life. It still hurts to say that but what other option did I have. I would just continue to hurt her and Spencer. Now Spencer is upset with me and I don't know how to deal with that or what to even say. I know I fucked up and I know being sorry isn't enough. Or maybe it is. I just don't know. I just know I have never felt this horrible. She had to forgive me. I deserved to be forgiven..right?

My phone beeped and interrupted my moment of self-pity. Thank fully, I was starting to annoy myself.

My face lit up when I saw who the message was from.

_Why did you leave? –S_

Seriously? I thought that was what she wanted.

_I thought that was what you wanted_. –A

_If I wanted you to leave I would have asked you to_. –S

I still don't know how to read her sometimes.

_You were angry with me. I figured you didn't want to see me.-_A

_I was angry with you. I needed some time alone. I wish you didn't leave.-_S

_Sorry. Thought it would be easier_.-A

_Easier for what or whom? I am going to call you. Okay_?-S

_Yeah. That's fine_. –A

A couple seconds later the phone rang. I took a deep breath and answered it.

"I'm sorry Spence."

"For what? What happened with Casey or for leaving?" She was still angry but I could hear a hint of sadness in her voice as well.

"Both." My voice cracked again. I held back the tears.

"I forgive you Ashley." Really? That was easier than I thought it was going to be.

"Really?"

"Don't be so surprised. I love you Ash and I know your intentions were never to hurt me."

"I would never hurt you Spence. At least not on purpose. I love you so much." And there's those damn tears.

"I know sweetie. I really wish you wouldn't have left."

"Sorry. I just thought that you didn't want me there."

"I always want you here." My heart melted at those words.

"Do you want me to come back over?" Please say yes.

"No." Okay, not what I was expecting.

"No?"

"Nope."

The doorbell rang and startled me.

"Hold on Spence. Some one's at the door."

I ran downstairs and peeked out the window. I could not have smiled any bigger. I opened the door excitingly.

"Hi."

"Hi."

"I can't believe you're here."

"I know. I was upset when you weren't there when I got home so I jumped in my car and came straight here."

I just smiled at her.

"Are you going to let me in?"

"Oh. Sorry." I moved to the side and let her in.

I shut the door and turned around. Her lips were on my instantly.

"I don't like fighting with you." She said between kisses.

"I don't like giving you reasons to want to fight with me. I'm so sorry Spence."

"Shh. I know you are. Just promise to take me into account next time some naked chick tries to seduce you."

"I was thinking about you Spence. Which is why I pushed her away. I love you. I want you. Only you."

Her hands were on my face and she pulled me into her again. The kiss was so powerful. I had never experienced anything like it. I guess that is what is feels like when you don't think you are ever going to feel it again. If that makes any sense. I know now that I couldn't live without Spencer. I couldn't live without her lips. Just the feel of them against mine did things to me that sex with any girl never had. I could kiss her forever and that would be enough. Okay maybe not forever but for right now.

But the kiss started to get aggressively hot. Her hands were now on my hips pulling me into her. I gasped and she snickered. I bit down on her bottom lip and she stopped. Then her tongue was in my mouth and I sucked on it. My hands moved to her behind and I picked her up and laid her down on the couch. I was half on top of her. My knee in between her legs. My hands in her hair. Her hands on my hips. My mouth on her neck, nibbling, sucking, biting. Her head was thrown back and she was letting out soft whimpers. Then a loud moan escaped her throat when I moved my knee lightly into her center.

"Sorry."

"No you're not." She said slightly out of breath.

"You're right. I'm not." I laughed and she pulled me down to kiss her again.

She flipped us over somehow and hovered over me seductively. Her eyes full of so much lust. Her lips parted as her tongue ran over them. I reached up and traced them with my fingers. She surprised me when she took a finger into her mouth. Holy shit that was so sexy. Our mouths found each other again, hot and hungry. I didn't know if I was going to be able to stop this time. If we were going to stop it was definitely going to have to be her. I spoke too soon. She stopped and sat up. She took a deep breath.

"Damn it." She yelled in frustration.

I laughed.

"It's not funny." She said with a small smile.

I sat up and moved the strands of hair in her eyes behind her ears.

"It's okay baby." I assured her.

"No it's not. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let things get so out of hand. I just want you so bad. But we probably shouldn't have make-up sex for our first time." She laughed this time.

"No. We shouldn't. Our first time should be slow.." I kissed her gently "and passionate..".. "and gentle" I pulled back and stared into those beautiful blue eyes. "It should be perfect..and it will be."

"I have no doubts about that."

"Hold on." I moved her off of me.

"Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back. Stay there."

I raced up to my bedroom and grabbed my guitar.

I ran back downstairs and she shook her head smiling at me.

"So I wrote this song the other day and I was going to play it tonight but I think you should hear it first."

"When did you have time to write a song?"

"Music class. Mrs. Jennings pretty much lets me do what I want. She figured I didn't need her to teach me anything."

"She talks about your talent all of the time. You don't know how much I want to tell her how proud I am of my girlfriend too." I love when she says she's proud of me. It makes me feel so special. So loved. Something no-one else made me feel. I was so lucky.

"So anyway I wrote this the other day and it's fit into tonight rather well. I hope this makes you feel better about wanting to wait."

I sat up straight and tuned my guitar. After clearing my throat I started strumming.

_Lyin' here with you so close to me,_

_It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe,_

_I'm caught up in this moment, caught up in your smile._

_I've never opened up to anyone,_

_So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms,_

_We don't need to rush this, let's just take it slow._

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,_

_Just a touch of the fire burning so bright,_

_And I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_No, I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might,_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life,_

_So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight._

_I know that if we give this a little time,_

_It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find,_

_It's never felt so real, no, it's never felt so right._

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,_

_Just a touch of the fire burning so bright,_

_No, I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might,_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life,_

_So baby, I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight._

_No, I don't want to say goodnight,_

_I know it's time to leave,_

_But you'll be in my dreams,_

_Tonight, tonight, tonight._

_Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,_

_Just a touch of the fire burning so bright,_

_And I don't want to mess this thing up,_

_I don't want to push too far._

_Just a shot in the dark that you just might,_

_Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life,_

_So baby, I'm alright,_

_Oh, let's do this right with just a kiss goodnight._

_With a kiss goodnight, kiss goodnight._

I could see the tears forming in her arms. She moved off the couch and kneeled down in front of me. After taking the guitar out of my hands she pulled me into a hug. I could hear her sniffling. She was crying. When we pulled away I wiped the tears from her eyes.

"I'll wait forever if I have to. You mean everything to me Spence. You're it for me."

She smiled though her tears and kissed me gently.

"You're it for me too."


	31. Chapter 31 Anxious

_**As always Thank You all for the wonderful reviews. **_

_**Sorry this update took a little longer than usual. Life's been crazy. I can't find time to sleep let alone write. Hopefully I will find some time this weekend to get you the next chapter. Thank you for being patient.**_

**hollymarie4**- Thanks. Let's just agree that every version of Spencer is hot :) Casey may or may not still be up to something. You'll just have to wait to find out. I was thinking of having Miranda find someone. Hopefully soon. I'm not saying anything about Alyssa's fate. I will always do what is best for the story so we will see ;)

**AshIzAwesome**- Thank you. And I love that song to :)

**RandomMind**- It's time for that Happy Dance ;)

**Brucas4ever**- Thanks :)

**anonymicus**- I def. agree. We may see a jealous Ashley again.

**lisarichie**- Lol. I know I know. Not too much longer ;)

**naranga87**- Waking up at 9a.m. probably makes you sick ;) I'd love to see your happy dance :)

**lesbefriends**- Spencer will find out about Madison.. maybe by Ashley, maybe not ;) Alyssa's ok..for now :( I wish I could update 3 times a week for you. I'm just toooo busy. Sorry :(

**shadhiya**- Thank you and thanks for being patient. Spashley will def. get it on lol. When the time is right :)

**justuraveragegirl**- Thanks. I will try my best to keep up the WOWing.

**Akasha Ptolemy**- Thank you . It means a lot. It is addicting writing it too.

**lelle**- I agree and thank you :)

**CheddarCheeseLover21**- Lol sure. You can be my 5th wife ;) I can't compete with cheddar cheese but here's the update anyway :)

**imaferrari-** You are so right. Don't forget trust though. And no worries, Alyssa will make it to the beach house. That will most definetly be in the next chapter.

**momo0424**- That is also how I am when I wake up however I use the alarm on my phone. I actually threw it once and had to go buy a new phone ;) I love the song too and Lady A are quite amazing :)

**pati1996**- Thanks. We all love an angry, jealous Spencer.

**tonesha**- Here ya go :)

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><p><em><strong>This chapter is Rated <span>M<span> for sexual content **_

_**I own nothing but my imagination. Alyssa, Casey and Miranda are mine as well.**_

Spencer's P.O.V.

I called up some of my friends and invited them to the club tonight. I told them that Miranda's best friend was playing tonight and that drinks were on the house as Ashley so persistently insisted. I had such a hard time saying 'Miranda's best friend'. Ashley was my girlfriend and I couldn't even tell my closest friends.

When Miranda and I pulled up to the club the parking lot was nearly empty. It was only 7:00 and the club didn't open for another half hour. When I saw Ashley's silver Camaro I instantly smiled. Hey I was in love, don't judge.

We walked into the club and were immediately escorted upstairs to a V.I.P room. Being in Ashley's world always made me feel like a V.I.P, especially when I was with her. I ordered a glass of wine and of course Miranda ordered a Coke. A few moments later we heard her voice on the microphone. We stepped up to the rail and there she was. As always she looked amazing. Sexy is more like it. Her gorgeous brown curls were let down. She had on a red strapless shirt that showed her midriff and her tanned and slender shoulders. Her low rise blue jeans were ripped. I don't think she owned a pair that didn't have holes in them. She wasn't wearing any shoes which I thought was kind of odd but sexy at the same time.

"Check, check 1 .check 2" She said before finally noticing us.

"Hello beautiful ladies". She grinned and I blew her a kiss.

Around 7:45 I got a text from one of friends telling me that she was downstairs. I walked to down and dragged them upstairs with me.

"Wow Spence. I didn't know we'd be in V.I.P. I always wondered what it was like up here." That was Stacey. Stacey was a fellow Literature Professor at UCLA. She was about 5 years older with long blonde hair. She was married and already had 3 kids. Stacey brought her sister Sandy. They were twins. Sandy hung out with us all of the time. She had just broken up with her boyfriend and was enjoying our girl's nights out.

"What time does your friend come on Miranda?" Kat asked. Kat was a 23 year old teacher's assistant and student at the University. She assisted my class my first year. Kat never had any boyfriends or girlfriends. She was one who liked to just fool around. Kat was gorgeous. She had long brown hair with some blonde streaks and a body to die for. Not as nice as Ashley's though. Not even close. Anyway out of the three I was probably the closest with her. She was a really good listener and was there for me when Aiden died.

"She should be coming on in about 5 minutes." Miranda replied and then took a sip of her Coke. Miranda enjoyed hanging out with my friends and I. She was so smart and mature for her age. You wouldn't even guess that she was only 16.

"I think you guys have seen her perform before. She was here about a month ago when we were all here last." It was the night of our first bathroom confrontation. I remember it rather well. It was the first time she had touched me and I wanted to kiss her so badly.

"Oh , I remember. The hot brunette right? The one with the sexy abs and the tattoo?" Watch it Kat. That's my girlfriend you are talking about. I couldn't blame her for noticing though.

"That's the one." Miranda interrupted and looked over at me smiling.

They ordered some drinks and I ordered another glass of wine. I was nervous for them to meet Ashley even though I would be introducing her as Miranda's best friend.

As soon as she was announced we all headed over to the railing and sat down on the stools. My God my girlfriend was beautiful. She put her guitar around her neck and walked up to the microphone. Ashley up on that stage was a sight to be seen. She was so natural and even graceful. You could tell she loved being up there. She said a few words to the crowd and then started her first song.

After a few songs, some of which I had never heard she took a little break. When she came back out she smiled up at me and of course I couldn't hide the blush that crept up on my face.

"This is another new one inspired by an amazing woman. Hope you enjoy."

_You don't have to make your mind up_

_I just wanna take my time with you_

_yeah_

_If that's alright, it's alright_

_Oh forgive me if I get too shy but_

_maybe you're the reason why, love_

_I'm feelin' butterflies_

_Somethin' bout the look in your eyes_

_Oooh it just makes me feel so right_

I was trying to listen to the song but Kat kept whispering in my ear.

"Damn she's hot."

"Think she'd be interested?"

"How old is she again?"

"Do you know if she has a girlfriend?"

I wanted to turn around and tell her to shut up. I just acted like I couldn't hear her.

_When my mind's void_

_You're my joy_

_You're the dream when I sleep_

_And hey I'm for ya yeah I adore ya _

_you're everything _

_That I need_

_And I love how you love me_

_If I'm made for you_

_you're made for me_

_It's too good to be_

_So tell me what we're gonna do now_

_Yeah tell me what we're gonna do now_

_yeah yeah_

_Funny how my world keeps spinnin'_

_Sometimes you can be so silly_

_You know just how to make me laugh_

_Ooh, your skin is so lovely_

_It moves me when you touch me_

_I know that you got my back_

_It feels so safe when you hold me_

_It's already like you know me_

"Woooohooooo, Ashley." That was Kat.

"The things I would like to do to her." She whispered in my ear again. I pursed my lips trying my hardest to not say anything. I was about to rip her head off.

Ugh. Graduation needed to come fast. And not just for the obvious reasons. I wanted to tell the world that Ashley was mine. I was tired of girls hitting on her. She was taken and I couldn't wait to tell everyone.

_When my mind's void_

_You're my joy_

_You're the dream when I sleep_

_And hey I'm for ya yeah I adore ya _

_you're everything that I need_

_I love how you love me_

_If I'm made for you_

_you're made for me_

_It's too good to be true_

_So tell me what we're gonna do now_

_Oh right now_

_See baby I love how you make me smile_

_Don't leave please stay awhile_

_Let's make this happen_

_I don't care how_

_When my mind's void_

_You're my joy_

_You're my dream_

_And hey I'm for ya yeah I adore ya_

_you're everything_

_And I love how you love me baby_

_I'm made for you oh_

_you're made for me_

_Ooh tell me what we're gonna do _

_Tell me what we're gonna do _

_Tell me what we're gonna do _

_Tell me what we're gonna do_

I wish I knew Baby. At this point I just wanted to drag her to the dressing room and make love to her. Screw graduation.

She sang a few more songs. All of them one's she wrote about me. I felt so overwhelmed with love for this girl.

She thanked the crowd and went backstage. I excused myself and headed downstairs. Miranda smirked at me and I smiled and shrugged.

The big burly guy, Mark I think, let me in her room with a knowing smile. He didn't even say anything he just opened the door. I walked in and noticed her clothes trailing to the bathroom door again. I shook my head and walked over to the couch and sat down. As I sat there waiting for her I pondered just going into the bathroom and joining her in the shower. I started biting my nails and bouncing my knee.

"Why ya so nervous Spence?" A low husky voice whispered in my ear. I shivered and jumped. She walked around the couch and sat down next to me.

"Not nervous. Anxious." I whispered back and leaned in to kiss her.

"Anxious huh?" She said pulling away from the kiss.

I pulled her back into me and kissed her with every ounce of passion within me. She quickly straddled me and I found her neck, nibbling and licking and sucking.

"Mmmm Spence."

My lips left her neck and I looked up at her.

"So I take it you liked my performance tonight?"

She said hovering over me. Her eyes were dark and her lips were parted. She was breathing heavy and her hands were in my hair gently massaging.

I shook my head and smiled. "I loved it. I couldn't wait to get back here and show you just how much."

I cradled her face and pulled her back to my lips. I couldn't help but let out a quiet whimper. I let my tongue trace her lips and she parted them for me. My tongue instantly met hers and bit down lightly before sucking on it. She moaned and I smiled into her open mouth. I loved having this effect on her.

I knew we were bordering on the point of no return. I just couldn't stop kissing her and I didn't want to. My hands started slowly moving up her waist and I felt her shiver under my touch. Before I knew they had found her breast. It was then that I realized she wasn't wearing a bra. It was also then that I realized she was only wearing a shirt and her panties. Oh boy. If I wasn't already turned on I was now. In fact I was extremely turned on. I lifted her shirt off effortlessly and my mouth went straight for her nipple. I latched on and she threw her head back. A loud gasp followed which only turned me on more. Her eyes were closed and she was biting her bottom lip. I bit down and then licked around her nipple. My hand found her other breast and started rolling the nipple. Her hips bucked into me and this time it was me who moaned. I pulled on the bud hard and sucked it into my mouth.

"God Spence." Ashley moaned followed by another whimper.

And that was it. I was done for. There was no turning back now. My hand started moving slowly and uncontrollably down her stomach until it reached her center. Even over her panties I could feel how hot and wet she was. I had never been turned on more in my entire life. I let go of her nipple and looked up at her again. Her eyes were the darkest I had ever seen them. Her cheeks were flushed and her lips were parted. She looked so damn beautiful.

I started rubbing her softly through her panties and she threw her head back again. The site above me was doing things to my body that I had never felt. Ashley's beautiful breast were bouncing slightly as she grinded into my fingers. Her toned abs were flexed and glistened with a light coat of sweat. The sounds coming out of her mouth were egging me on. I wanted to keep making her feel good. I wanted more of her. I stopped rubbing just enough to slide my hand into her panties.

She picked her head back up and looked down at me.

"Spence?"

"Shhhh" I said before placing gentle open mouthed kisses all of her face and lips.

The moment my fingers found her wet lips she closed her eyes and her mouth opened wide to let out a deep moan. Suddenly I felt my own wetness seep through my panties. She felt so warm, so damn wet and so amazing. She threw her head back again and her breasts pushed out towards me.

Knock Knock Knock

"Fuck!" I hear Ashley groan.

Are you kidding me right now?

Knock Knock Knock

"Damn it." I looked up at Ashley's flushed face and she released a deep breath.

"Guess we're meant to wait." She shrugged.

Then she did the sexiest thing I think I have ever witnessed. She pulled my hand out of her panties and slid my fingers into her mouth. She slowly sucked on both fingers and then leaned in and kissed me hard. I could taste her on her tongue. I had never experienced anything like that and it only made me want her more. I wanted all of her.

Knock Knock Knock

"Alright already. Stop with the knocking." She yelled. "I'm coming." She smirked at me and of course I blushed.

She leaned down and kissed me once more before slowly lifting herself off of me and heading towards the door while throwing her shirt back on.

"Ashley!" I called out and she turned around.

"Pants." She just shrugged and opened the door.

Mark and Miranda were both standing at the door. Mark's mouth dropped open and Miranda just shook her head at the sight of Ashley wearing nothing but her shirt and panties. Ashley let Miranda in and shut the door in Mark's face while snickering.

"It smells like sex in here." Miranda said as soon as she entered the room. I bit onto the side of my bottom lip and turned my head.

"And how would you know what sex smells like?" Ashley asked with her eye brows raised. Exactly.

"I don't. But it smells weird and I know that's what you were doing. Why do I keep interrupting you guys having sex?" Eww.

"I don't know, why do you?" Ashley looked at her angrily but then smiled to show she was only joking.

I couldn't look at her. I know my face was beat red.

"What makes you think we were having sex anyway? We could have been just talking." Ashley asked.

"Well for one you are half dressed and flushed. And Spencer over there can't even look at me." She chuckled.

"We weren't having sex okay." Ashley said while pulling her jeans on.

She looked over at me and winked. I blushed again. What the hell was wrong with me?

"But we were making out. And it was hot." She smirked at me and I shook my head and laughed.

"I'm going to go use the bathroom real quick and then we can head back out." She turned and headed towards the bathroom. I finally looked over at Miranda who was smiling.

"The girls were wondering where you disappeared to. I had a feeling I would find you in here."

"How long have I been gone?"

"Long enough for everyone to start worrying."

"Kat has been bothering me since you left. She kept asking me things about Ashley."

"What about me?" Ashley came out of the bathroom fully dressed and ready to go. I wish she could just walk around without her pants on. Or nothing better yet. Oh boy I was in trouble.

"Spencer's friend Kat has got a bit of a thing for you". She laughed.

"I thought Spence was going to throw her off the railing earlier when you were on stage."

"I thought about it." I actually did. But Kat has been a good friend. So she has a thing for my girlfriend. I couldn't fault her for that. Look at Ashley. Hello, she's fucking hot. Excuse my language.

"That bad huh?" Oh yeah it was that bad.

"She was telling me the things she imagined doing to you."

I reached for Ashley's hand and pulled her into a hug.

I leaned in and whispered. "And I just did them."

She chuckled and pulled my face back to kiss me.

"Ahem." Oh yeah. I forgot Miranda was in the room.

"We should go." Ashley pouted.

"Yeah we should." I pouted back.

When we got back up the V.I.P. room all the girls stood up and clapped. Ashley smiled big and did a slight bow.

"Wow Ashley what an amazing show." Stacey raved.

"Thank you." Ashley replied humbly. Never thought I would say Ashley and humbly in the same sentence.

"Oh sorry. Ashley this is Stacey and Sandy." They both shook hands with her.

"And I'm Kat. It's a pleasure Ashley." Down girl.

"It's nice to meet you too Kat." Ashley replied politely.

We all sat down around the table. Ashley sat down between Miranda and me. And as far away from Kat as possible.

"So Ashley have you signed a record deal yet? As talented and gorgeous as you are I bet they're lining up to sign you."

"Well thank you Stacey. And yes I have had multiple offers but I am not interested just yet. I want to enjoy my freedom for a while before I get sucked into that world."

"That's smart. Once you sign with them they think they own you."

"I will probably just sign with my Dad's label so I can have a little more say in things."

"Oh right. Your Dad is Raife Davies right?" Sandy asked.

"The one and only." Ashley said proudly.

"So Ashley do you have a girlfriend?" Guess who that was.

"Uh yeah actually I do." She placed her hand on my thigh under the table.

"She doesn't come to watch you play?"

"She does. She was busy today." I could tell Ashley really wanted to tell her to mind her own business.

"Not very smart of her. Letting _you_ out of her sight." Kat rested her chin on her hands in front of her and smiled. I knew that smile. But my baby wasn't going to bite.

"She trusts me. She knows she doesn't have anything to worry about". I felt her hand squeeze my thigh.

"That's too bad." Kat replied. "Who wants to dance?" She stood up abruptly and started walking towards us and Miranda quickly stood up.

"I wanna dance. Shall we?" She grabbed Kat's hand and dragged her away.

I love that girl. Ashley was right. Miranda always saves the day.

Stacey and Sandy both stood up and went to dance. I turned to Ashley and she just smiled at me lovingly.

"I am so sorry. She's usually not like that."

"It's okay Spence. Women just can't contain themselves when they're around me". She popped her nonexistent collar.

"This is usually where I would tease you about that big ego of yours but I am starting to see why it is so big." I leaned in and captured her full lips in between mine.

"Exactly. I mean I did manage to make my very hot, sexy, smart teacher fall in love with me. A little over a month ago she didn't even suspect she might be just a little gay and now she's attacking me whenever she gets a chance."

She leaned in and whispered. "She can't seem to keep her hands, mouth and tongue off of me." I shivered as I felt her hot breath on my ear. She bit down on my lobe before sucking it into her mouth.

"Are you complaining?" I managed to get out somehow.

"Not at all." Her mouth was on mine again. I could never get enough of kissing her.

We were alone again in the upstairs V.I.P room and thoughts of the last time we were here suddenly snuck up on me. The cruel things Ashley's mother said to her. The loud smack. The sound of Ashley's knees hitting the floor. I don't know how I held my cool that night when all I wanted to do was tackle her to the floor and beat the snot out of her. I knew Ashley needed me to be strong for the both of us.

Suddenly her lips were off mine and she was looking at me weird.

"What are you thinking about Spence?" She questioned.

"Nothing. Just how much I love you." She smiled and brought my hand up to her mouth to kiss it.

"You sure it was nothing? You weren't kissing me back for a second there. You were off in your own little world."

"Sorry. I uh. I was thinking about the last time we were here." I couldn't lie to her.

She moved her chair so that she was closer to me and pulled me into her arms.

"I don't want to think of that night and I don't want you to either. Well at least not the parts that involve _her."_

We heard the girls coming back and quickly separated.

"You guys missed all of the fun. What were you doing sitting up here?" Stacey asked.

"Just talking about school stuff." I replied.

"Well speaking of school. I have to be there early so we are going to get going." Stacey said while grabbing her light jacket and purse.

"Ashley it was great meeting you. Your performance was amazing and I wish you luck even though I don't think you will need it."

"Thank you Stacey. It means a lot. I'm glad you enjoyed the show and had a good time."

"I did. We did. Thanks for the drinks."

"You're welcome. Hope to see you again soon."

"Bye Ashley." Sandy said. If you didn't notice she doesn't really talk that much. She's pretty shy.

I walked over and gave them both a hug good bye. When I turned back around Kat was approaching Ashley.

"It was a pleasure meeting you Ashley. I hope it's not the last time." She winked and took Ashley's hand in hers letting it linger for longer than I liked.

"Bye Sweetie." She leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and then she was gone.

"Wow Spence. Who knew you had such naughty friends." Ashley joked.

"She's harmless."

Ashley laughed and held up a small piece of paper.

"She may be Spence but she's pretty persistent." She walked over and handed me the paper. "I'm going to go grab my bag from the dressing room and then we can leave."

I opened up the small piece of folded paper.

_Call me when you ditch the girlfriend. I'll make it worth your while._

_Kat 555-231-4532_

That little Bitch. I tried not to be mad at her. She didn't know that Ashley was my girlfriend. Part of me wanted to rip her hair out.

Miranda and I went downstairs to meet Ashley. We waited by the door and she finally made it to us. Just as we were about to leave I caught the strangest sight out of the corner of my eye. Casey. At least it looked like her. She was dancing with someone. Dancing rather close to someone. A petite girl with long black hair. She had her back to us but I knew it was her. Just as I got a good look to confirm it was her I saw the girl she was with. My mouth dropped and eyes widened. Ashley followed my line of sight and her reaction was close to mine. Except her reaction involved a bit of anger. I slumped back into the corner so they wouldn't spot me.

She walked up to Johnny who was standing by the door talking to a bouncer. She started yelling at him.

"Why did you let her in here?" She didn't give him a chance to respond.

"I told you she's not allowed in here anymore." She was fuming mad.

"What's going on?" Miranda whispered in my ear. I motioned for her to hold on a minute.

"Sorry Ash. She came in with her friends. Said she needed to let off some steam. I thought you had already left. You want me to tell her to leave?"

"No. Whatever." She turned and walked back towards us. She looked back out to the dance floor and scowled.

Miranda finally saw what was going on.

"No way! Casey and Carmen?"

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><p><em><strong>You ain't cool unless you review <strong>_

_**Song:**_

_Tell me what we're gonna do now- Joss Stone_

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><p><em>While you're waiting for the next update check out "Up in the Air" by Sgarc12 if you haven't already. Awesome story :)<em>


	32. Chapter 32 I shall believe

_Thank you all for the 2 million reviews. I know I'm exaggerating a bit but there were quite a bit for the last chapter and I was doing the happy dance all day. It was quite embarrassing ;)_

**imaferrari**- Joss Stone is pretty awesome. I like that she is different. Graduation is still a few weeks away but I plan on speeding that up a bit. Hold on tight :)

**drummergirl244**- Glad you are back with your awesome reviews. I knew this story was long but 1 billion and 2 chapters? Thanks for the comments :) :)

**inviziblinc**- How was the cold shower? ;) Casey and Carmen will be explained in this chapter.

**hollymarie4**- Miranda and all of her interruptions..damn her. Lol. Not much longer though ;)

**GreenPen85**- Thanks. Casey and Carmen will be explained in this chapter. The teasing will end soon. I promise ;)

**PurpleLover92**- I am looking for the right spot to put in a love interest for Miranda. Hopefully sooner than later :)

**KairiM**- Thanks for the review :) I appreciate your comments. No it's not bad that you check often for updates I do the same with some of my favorite stories. Of course some serious shit is going to go down..it would be my story if it didn't :)

**Rachel2020**- Again thanks for your review. I am glad my story has a positive affect on some people. Thanks again :) And yes Miranda is quite charming and awesome. I wish she were real as well :)

**ClosetRomeo**- Thanks for reviewing :) and for the rooting ;)

**momo0424**- Who wouldn't have loved to be in Spence's place in that dressing room? lol. I have a very wide range in music interests so thanks :)

**lisarichie**- The time is near for the seducing..I think it be a little seducing for both them ;)

**lesbefriends**- Oh it will definetely be a All Spashley Chapter. A very looooooog one ;)

**CheddarCheeseLover21**- " Sorry mom I was daydreaming about hot SPASHLEY sex...want some cheese?" This made me laugh hysterically. It still makes me laugh. So glad that I can compete with the cheese :)

**RandomMind**- Well like I said before I wanted to make this as realistic as possible. I don't like to rush things and I am a big fan of character and relationship buildup. I wanted to make a special love story, I didn't intend to wait this long for the sex but it just happened that way. Thanks for being patient.

**Shadhiya-** My thoughts exactly. It will def. be special..for the both of them.

**naranga87**- James Brown? Now I def. want to see that. Lol. Sorry for the frustrations. You are not alone in that my cheeky lady friend ;)

**noodles307**- Glad that your back :) All kinds of Spencer are hot but you are right aroused Spencer is really hot. Their first time will be special, and legal, and equally if not more hot than all of the almost's. Casey and Carmen was a surprise for me as well. lol. What can I say..I live for the unexpected.

**A/N: The wait should be over by at least chapter 35 depending on how long the chapters are. Thanks everyone for being patient :) :)**

_ I own nothing but my imagination, Miranda, Casey and Alyssa_.

Rated slightly** M**

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><p>"Do you want to talk about it?"<p>

"Not really. Can we just go to sleep? I'm exhausted."

"Ash. I can tell it's bothering you. You haven't said a word since we left the club."

I didn't feel like talking. Sue me.

"Ash? Please talk to me." She was starting to sound desperate.

"Spence. Please drop it. I had a long day and I just want to close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of being in your arms." I held her arm around me tighter.

"Okay. I'll drop it. For now." She finally gave up and settled her head right behind mine.

"I love you Ashley." She said just above a whisper.

"Mmmm. Love you too."

I woke up around 6:00 a.m. and as I rolled over I saw Spencer's bare back. She was standing near her closet getting dressed. I propped myself up on my elbow and watched as she slowly pulled her pants up her long, tanned, lean legs. I quietly slid out of bed and crept up behind her as she was buttoning her pants. She slightly jumped as I wrapped my arms around her and latched my mouth onto her naked shoulder.

"Ash you scared me." She said with her hand on her chest.

"Sorry Baby. I couldn't resist."

"I didn't mean to wake you. I know you were tired last night." She's too sweet.

"I don't care how much sleep I get if I get to wake up to this." I left a trail of open mouthed kisses from her shoulder to her neck to her ear where I bit down gently. She shivered and moaned quietly.

"You cold Spence?" I whispered in her ear as my hands slid slowly up her torso and cupped her breast.

"N-no. Not at all." She stuttered out.

"You must be pretty turned on then huh?" I whispered again and then bit down on her ear lobe. Her nipples were hard under my warm hands and as my fingers started to rub over them she spun around abruptly and attacked my mouth. In no time at all the kiss deepened and hands moved frantically up and down my back. She pulled away from the kiss out of breath and leaned her forehead on mine.

"I have to finish getting ready or I'm going to be late." She somehow got out between the panting.

"Nooooo. I don't want you to go." I groaned and pulled her closer if that was possible.

"I have to stop by the office and talk to Mr. Goodman. I can't be late Baby." She kissed my forehead and then my lips.

"You just called me Baby." I said in my sexy voice.

"I did."

"I liked it."

"Well I like when you call _me_ Baby."

"Well I've got some other names for you but I think I'll wait to tell you those."

"Can't wait." She chuckled and leaned in for one more kiss.

I reluctantly pulled away from her and headed for the stairs.

I turned on the water and stripped before jumping in. Even though I took a shower last night I needed another one. As thoughts of Spencer topless lingered in my mind I turned knob above the spout to the cold side.

After my cold shower I ran upstairs and got dressed. When I came back down Spencer was sitting on the couch drinking her coffee and reading the newspaper. I didn't even know they still made newspapers. That was what the T.V. and internet were for.

"Shouldn't you been gone already?" I asked as I sat down next to her.

"Mr. Goodman called and cancelled our meeting. He rescheduled it for Monday." She said without looking up from her paper. I reached over and grabbed her coffee cup from her hand and took a sip.

"I did make more ya know." She glared at me.

"Okay." Is all I said and she shook her head.

"How about I go make you a cup of _your own__._?"

"Ehh. I don't mind sharing with you". I handed her back the coffee and she smiled.

She folded up the paper and set it next to her on the coffee table.

"So do you want to talk about last night?" I was hoping she would just forget about last night. Wait. Let me back it up. I was hoping she would forget about seeing Casey and Carmen and my reaction. The other events of last night were permantley etched in my brain and I hoped it was the same for her.

"Do I have to? I would like to just forget about it." I said and grabbed her coffee again.

"Ash, It affected you seeing them there together. I know that. I saw it with my own eyes. I need you to tell me why." Of course it affected me seeing them. She was my best friend and Carmen was a sworn enemy of the both of us.

"I was just surprised Spence. That's all. I was very surprised."

"That's not all Ash. Talk to me please."

"Look Spence. Casey was my best friend and Carmen tormented her for the last two years. I was just surprised to see them together okay. That's it." I said the last part with a hint of anger in my voice and immediately regretted it. Lack of sleep tended to make a cranky Ashley.

I stood up and set her coffee on the table. "I should go and finish getting ready."

I came out of the bathroom ready to go. I noticed Miranda in the kitchen eating a bowl of cereal. Spencer was about to open the door. I walked up to it and put my hand on it before she could.

"Were you going to say goodbye?" I was a little upset.

"We're going to see each other in less than an hour Ash. I have to go." She opened the door.

"I shut it again."

"Are you mad at me Spence?" I could tell she was.

"No. Not mad. Just upset. I don't know why you won't talk to me Ash. This isn't good for our relationship." She was trying to stay calm but her voice was betraying her.

"There's nothing to say Spence. I don't know why you are making this out to be more than it is." I raised my voice and she shook her head at me.

"If it was nothing you would talk about it with me and you wouldn't be so angry." She said calmly.

"I'm only angry because you won't let it go." I didn't like arguing with her.

"I hope you'll come talk to me when you're not so angry." Ugh. Her calmness was making me more angry.

I opened the door for her. "See you at school Teach." She nodded and walked out. I slammed it shut.

Women!

Miranda came from the kitchen still chewing on her cereal.

"That went well." She said with her mouth full.

"Whatever. Are you almost ready?" I didn't mean to take out my anger on her but I did anyway.

"Yeah I just have to brush my teeth and grab my bag." She rushed into the bathroom. I think I was scaring her.

We didn't talk much on the way there. I think she could sense I was still angry by the way I was gripping the steering wheel.

"You should talk to her ya know?" She finally spoke.

"There's nothing to talk about Miranda." I tried to stay calm. She was just being my friend.

"There obviously is Ash. Your reaction wasn't just one of surprise. You were angry and it showed. You didn't say one word the rest of the night. Spence has every right to be worried."

"She's worried? About what?" She had no reason to worry.

"Ash turn this around a bit. If it were you in Spencer's place you would be upset too. Your ex-girlfriend and worst enemy who might also have a thing for you may quite possibly be together and your reaction to that was more than just surprised."

Maybe she was right. I overreacted to it all. I just didn't understand. Did Casey know that Carmen was gay all along? How long have they been on speaking terms? Why did Carmen kiss me if she wanted to be with Casey? Ugh. All of this thinking was giving me a head ache. I shouldn't care about all of this. Casey isn't even my friend anymore and Carmen never was. So why am I so upset? Because I will always care about Casey and I didn't want her to get hurt again. Why didn't I just tell Spencer that. I'm such an idiot.

"I'm an idiot. I'll go talk to Spence before school starts." I looked over at Miranda and she smiled big. I shook my head at her and laughed.

When I got to Spencer's class she was seated at her desk tapping her pen against it. She looked deep in thought so I knocked softly on the door. When she looked up she gave me a half smile.

I shut the door and walked to my desk dropping my bag to the floor. Her eyes followed me the whole way.

"I'm sorry." I said and she nodded.

"I am too."

"You don't need to be. I understand."

"Sooo?"

"Sooo I should have just told you earlier why it bothered me so much seeing them together." She nodded and I continued. "Spence, I still care about Casey. I always will. I don't understand why she was with Carmen and it scares me because of the way Carmen treated her over the last few years. I don't want her to get hurt again." I looked down at my hands.

"Thank you Ashley. And that is completely understandable. You have every right to feel that way. Why couldn't you just tell me that in the first place?"

"I don't know Spence. I'm not used to this whole relationship thing. I am bound to screw up every once in a while. This wasn't the first time and I am sure it won't be the last." She smiled at me and her eyes sparkled. I just fell in love all over again.

"I was a bitch, forgive me?" I pouted.

"Of course."

I mouthed _I love you_ and she mouthed _I love you too_ back.

The door slowly opened and Madison walked in with a few other students. She looked at Spencer and then at me and smirked. I elbowed her when she walked by. I looked over at Spencer and she giggled a little. Wonder what that was about. The hour consisted of us reading the stupid headless horseman story and I couldn't take my eyes of Spencer the entire 60 minutes. She kept pointing at me book and even made me read aloud so that I couldn't stare at her. When the bell rang I slowly got up and walked over to her desk. Everyone had already walked out.

"You need to stop staring at me throughout class. You make it hard for me to think. I become quite flustered. It's not fair." She blushed.

"Hmmm. I wonder how 'flustered' you would be if you knew what I was imagining when I stare at you." I wiggled my brows.

"Go." She chuckled and pointed towards the door.

"Bye Teach. Hope you enjoy the rest of your school day. Don't think about me too much." I blew her a kiss and walked out. She laughed.

I nearly ran into someone standing right outside the door. Madison.

"Hey girl, it's about time." She said with a smirk.

"Were you waiting for me?"

"Yeah. I figured I would let you get your mack on and wait for you out here."

"Whatever Mads. Let's go." I chuckled.

"Ash. I know what's going on with you two. I talked to Mrs. D." I stopped dead in my tracks and whipped my head around to face her.

"What?"

"I talked to her. I told her I thought it was sweet and that I wouldn't say anything."

"Huh?" Yes I was that dumbfounded I couldn't think of what else to say.

"I...talked...to...Mrs...Dennison" She said slowly while she pretended to use sign language.

"When did you do that? Are you crazy?" I pulled her into a doorway. The class was empty.

_**Madison's very brief P.O.V**_

_**2 days ago**_

_I was waiting in the parking lot for Ash so we could go to lunch and spotted Mrs. Dennison walking to her car. I knew something was going on with her and Ash and I just had to talk to her. It may have been none of my business but I cared about Ashley and I didn't want to see her get her heart broken._

_ "Mrs. Dennison." I called out just as she was about to open her car door._

_ "Hello Miss Duarte what can I do for you?" I'm glad she asked._

_I took a quick look around to make sure no-one could hear me._

_ "Promise you won't hurt Ashley."_

_She looked at me confused and turned a little pale._

_ "I'm sorry?" I know she heard me._

_ "Look I know there is something going on between the two of you and whatever it is has made my friend happier than I have ever seen her. So please don't hurt her. She has been through so much in her life and she deserves the happiness no matter who it is coming from."_

_She just stood there in shock and obviously at a loss for words. I laughed._

_ "You don't need to worry. I won't say anything to anyone. Ash is one of my best friends and you are one of my favorite teacher's. Your secret is safe with me." _

_She looked like she was going to say something but couldn't quite get the words out. Then finally ._

_ "What makes you think there is something going on between me and Ashley?"_

_ "Uh well for starters you are always staring at her. In fact the other day when we were all reading to ourselves you watched her for more than 10 minutes."_

_She closed her eyes and pursed her lips. A faint blush appeared on her cheeks._

_ "At the club on her birthday you cried when she sang that song. The song she so obviously wrote for you and sang to you. Then there's the thing you did with her dad. Getting him to come home. I've heard of teacher's that care but never one that cared that much. It's quite clear how much Ash loves you and she's happy which means that she must be getting some of that love in return." _

_ "Madison.."_

_ "Look like I said you don't need to worry." I said cutting her off._

_ "I'm not going to say anything. You're an amazing teacher Mrs. Dennison and just because you so happened to fall for one of your students doesn't change that. Ashley is pretty awesome. I'd go for her if I were gay." I laughed and she finally smiled._

_ "I have to go. Thank you Madison." She said while opening her car door._

_ "Have a good day Mrs. Dennison and you're welcome." I smiled and waved._

_She was about to pull out of her spot when she rolled the window down._

_ "I promise." She said with a smile looking me straight in the eyes._

_I nodded. "Thanks"_

_Let's hope she kept good on her promises. Ashley already had to deal with enough heartbreak in her life. I knew for a fact she was in love with Mrs. Dennison and I hoped she wouldn't get hurt._

"You are crazy. I can't believe you approached her." I yelled.

"It's cool Ashley. I can't believe she didn't say anything to you."

"Madi you shouldn't have done that. She's worried enough about someone finding out and losing her job. I appreciate you looking out for me but you should have just stayed out of it."

"I'm sorry Ash. You know me. When I get something in my head I don't let it go. I'm sorry if I crossed the line." She looked down at her feet and I suddenly felt bad for yelling at her. She was just trying to look out for me. I was always so worried that something would happen and Spencer would pull back from me. I didn't want that. I couldn't deal with that. I can't live without her.

"It's alright Madi. Just please leave all of this alone okay? We're not going to go on any double dates or anything so forget about that." I joked.

"It must be hard Ash. You finally fall in love and you can't even express it openly."

"It's very hard. I want to tell the world that she's mine. I want to take her to the fair and win her a stuffed animal and walk hand in hand with her on the pier and share popcorn with her in the movie theatre, take her to dinner and kiss her goodbye in her doorway and a whole lot of more simple things that aren't so cliché but I can't and it sucks. But you know what? Just being with her alone, even if it's just sitting in her living room doing practically nothing, that's enough for me."

Madi was smiling at me and her held was tilted to the side.

"Ash that is so sweet. You are so in love it's adorable."

"Shut it Mad's. I am not adorable. I think we have talked about that before."

She laughed.

"I can't believe you actually got her Ash. I remember telling you that you were crazy and she was way out of your league."

"Yeah well I remember telling you that nobody could resist the Davies charm." I winked and she shook her head.

"C'mon we are so late for second period."

The next couple hours flew by fast and as I was headed to the quad I saw Carmen. She was at her locker. Of course me being me I couldn't not say anything.

"Hey Vasquez." I shouted.

She turned around and when she saw me she looked kind of scared. I liked seeing that look on her. She finally smartened up.

"What do you want Davies?" She shut her locker and flung her bag around her shoulder.

"I want you to tell me what the hell you were doing in my club last night with Casey."

She smiled and I was so tempted to slap that smile off her face.

"That's none of your business Ashley. You're not even friends with Casey anymore and we certainly aren't friends."

I walked closer to her and she backed up into the lockers.

"You fucking hurt her and I'll do more than just break your nose."

She held her nose and I couldn't help but laugh.

"You seem to be the only one hurting her lately Ashley. I just want to make her forget about you." Pssh. Like that could happen.

"So what you're out now? You done being the fake bitch you've been the last few years?"

"Actually yes. I'm sick of being unhappy. I apologized to Casey. She accepted. We're friends now. Maybe later we'll be more." Wow. Casey was getting desperate.

"So you like Casey? Did you try to kiss her too?"

She laughed. "I don't have a thing for you Ashley if that's what you think. I was just testing you. Seeing if you were the slut everyone says you are."

"So what you thought that I would actually kiss you back? Eww!"

She laughed again. "Whatever Ashley. You're not my type. Casey on the other hand is. I've always liked her Ashley. I was just stupid and childish and I know that now."

"Do you always torture people that you like? Carmen you did a lot of horrible things to her. You outed her to everyone. You posted those pictures and tried to ruin her life. You made fun of her every time you saw her in the hallways. She couldn't sleep for weeks because of you."

"I'm not proud of the things I've done. I didn't want anyone to know that I had a crush on her so I did everything in my power to make sure that didn't happen. I hated making her cry. I went home every night and cried myself to sleep I hated myself so much. And yes I became a bully. I was a horrible person. I was a coward. But I hated myself so much that I didn't care." She started crying. I just shook my head. I didn't feel sorry for her.

"I did a lot of bad shit but I did not take or post the pictures. I swear."

"You took the credit. That's just as bad. I don't know why Casey forgave you. She must be desperate for friends."

"Maybe she is. Maybe she is just trying to forget about you and I'm a good distraction. But hey it's a start. I want to show her the real me. I want to show her that she doesn't need you. I can be what she needs."

I couldn't help but laugh. I really did try not to.

"Look Ashley I know you think the worst of me and you have every right. But I am not that person. I never really was. It was all an act. I am going to do everything in my power to be someone Casey respects. Maybe someone she could even fall in love with. You can laugh all you want. And someday I believe that even we'll be friends."

"Me and you?" I pointed between the two of us and raised my eyebrows in question.

"Yes. Me and you. The two of us have a few things in common."

"Enlighten me please."

"We both care for Casey and want her to be happy."

I wanted to believe this new Carmen. Was it so hard to believe she could change? Of course not. Look at me. I was proof enough.

"I meant what I said Vasquez, You hurt her and.."

"I know, I know. You'll break more than just my nose." She interrupted.

"I'm not going to hurt her Ashley. I just want to make her happy."

Ah fuck. I actually did believe her. I saw the sincerity in her eyes. Something I had never seen before.

I backed away and she starting walking down the hall.

"She likes pink lilies and blue irises." I shouted loud enough for her to hear.

She turned around confused. "Huh?"

"You have a lot of apologizing to do."

She smiled at me and I shrugged. I still hadn't forgiven her but Casey obviously had. She must have seen something good in her.

The rest of the day was non eventful. Miranda and I went to visit Alyssa after school. When we first got there she was awake. We talked for an hour or so and then she started getting sleepy. Apparently she had been up most of the day getting ready for the transfer. She was so excited to be leaving the hospital. When she gave me hug goodbye it was so gentle but I could tell she was hugging me with everything she had.

Friday night Miranda and I hung out at my house. Spencer had to go to a party at one of her fellow professor's houses and I so badly wanted to go with her but for obvious reasons I couldn't. Miranda and I decided to do a sleepover since we were getting up early to go to Malibu. We had been excused from our Saturday volunteer work and that actually made me sad because that meant more time away from Spencer. What made it better was knowing that Alyssa would be out of that hospital and happy at the beach house.

We planned on staying until Sunday night because we had something planned for Alyssa on Sunday. Hopefully she would be feeling up to it.

On the way to Malibu on Saturday morning I texted Spencer.

_You still at the park? –A_

_We're almost done. Just have to repaint a few things.- S_

_I miss you. –A_

_I miss you too. Wish you were here. –S_

_Need some pointers on how to paint too? –A_

_Haha very funny. –S_

_Hey you never know. –A_

_I'm much better with a paint brush then a hammer. I promise. –S_

_That's good to hear. Greg's not there is he? –A_

_Lol, Yes he is. Is my baby jealous? –S_

_No not jealous. That guy ain't got nothing on me Baby. –A_

_No he sure doesn't. Don't worry I have kept him busy today. –S_

_That's my girl. –A_

_See you tomorrow night? -S_

_Ugh. I don't know if I can wait that long. –A_

_Sure you can. And I will be here when you get home. –S_

_Home. I like the sound of that. –A_

_My home will always be yours. I love you. –S_

_Love you too Spence. See you soon.- A_

"Are you done texting lovey dovey messages to Spence?" Miranda joked.

"Shut it and drive. You crash my baby and I will never forgive you."

"Ash it's just a car. I'm your best friend. Would you really not forgive me?" She pouted.

"Maybe. But you would have to do some major groveling."

She punched my arm and I laughed.

When we arrived at the beach house John, mine and my dad's attorney was already there along with Margaret, the woman who set everything up. Miranda and I opened all of the windows and straightened up a bit. The house was already ready for Alyssa but we wanted to make it homier for her. We put up a few Paramore posters and set up a 52 T.V. with a D.V.D player, surround sound and a hook up for her I-pod. It was a S.M.A.R.T T.V. so you could access the internet from it. We also put a few vases around the room filled with her favorite flowers.

She arrived around 1pm. They wheeled her in and as soon as she saw us she smiled and started to cry. I was so happy I could make her happy. They got her settled in her bed and she asked me to open the doors. It was a beautiful day, around 75 degrees but we were off the ocean so it was a bit cooler and there was a breeze. As soon as I opened the doors the breeze came through and she closed her eyes and took it in.

"Thank you Ashley." She said with her eyes still closed.

I walked over and sat down next to her.

"You're welcome."

A couple hours later after she was all unpacked she closed her eyes for a much needed nap.

Miranda and I walked outside to the patio and finished discussing the plans and making the necessary calls for our surprise for Alyssa tomorrow afternoon. We had just finished up when I got a call from Spencer.

Miranda must have realized who was calling from the giant smile on my face.

"I'll give you some privacy." She rolled her eyes, then smiled and walked back into the house.

"Hello Beautiful."

"Hi Ash." It felt so good to hear her voice.

"I miss you." Her tone was a bit sad.

"I miss you to Baby."

"Is she all settled in?" Spencer wanted to be here but she was swamped at home with the volunteer stuff and getting ready for finals at the University.

"Yeah, she's napping now. The move took a lot out of her."

"How did she like the room?"

"She was so happy Spence. I am so glad I could do this for her." I was starting to get a bit choked up.

"Awe sweetie you make a lot of people happy. You know that right?"

"It's easy to do that when I am so happy. And I am happy thanks to you."

"I feel the same way Ash. I never thought I could be this happy."

"And I haven't even got you in my bed yet." I chuckled.

"You know you are raising the expectations pretty high?"

"I can back em' up. I can't wait to make you even happier if you know what I mean."

She laughed. "I think I do Ash and I can't wait either. Soon Ash. Very soon."

"Not soon enough." I groaned.

"Oh and Spence?"

"Yeah Babe"

"Why didn't you tell me about your little conversation with Madi?" I had forgotten til now.

"Oh. I don't know. I guess I figured she would tell you. She said the two of you were going to lunch together. It wasn't my intention to keep it from you. A lot has happened since then and it just didn't come up. I'm sorry I didn't tell you Ash."

"It's okay Spence. I'm just glad you're not mad. I was scared that if someone else found out you would get scared and pull away from me. I wouldn't be able to handle that."

"I'm not going to pull away from you Ash. I love you. And of course I am not mad. It's mostly my fault she found out. Apparently I couldn't stop staring at you in class." She laughed.

"Apparently, but who can blame you right?"

"Ugh Ashley. We have to bring that ego of yours down a few notches."

"I thought you liked my big ego?"

"I deal with it because I love you so much and because _you are_ amazing in every way. I love everything about you Ashley Marie Davies. Even your big ego."

"I love everything about you to Spencer .I don't even know your middle name. How bad is that?"

"I never told you my middle name. I don't like it very much so I never use it."

"Spill Spence, it can't be that bad."

"Gertrude." She said really fast.

"Really? Gertrude?"

She laughed "No silly. It's Ann. Just Ann."

"What's not to like about Ann? It's just as common as Marie."

"Exactly. It's common and plain. They name me Spencer, the most uncommon name for a girl and then Ann. I don't know I just don't like it."

"Spence you are strange sometimes. I like it. Well Spencer Ann Denn.."

"Carlin." She cut me off.

"Are you changing your name back?"

"I was thinking about it. But I don't want to talk about that right now."

"Well okay. Spencer Ann Carlin I love everything about you and I can't wait to make you mine officially." She couldn't see me but I wiggled my eyebrows and smirked.

"I can't wait either Ash. I have to go. I love you."

"I love you too Baby."

We had dinner around 7 when Alyssa woke up. She asked us to come into her room and eat. I felt bad because we were eating spaghetti and she was eating chicken soup. I guess she had a hard time digesting food. She ate it with a smile of course and we laughed and joked throughout the entire dinner. Afterwards her mother helped her with a bath and Miranda and I went and got changed into our pajamas. We all watched a movie together. Miranda fell asleep before the movie ended, Ms. Cooper went to bed and that left Alyssa and I.

"Ash will you sing to me?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah. What do you want me to sing?" I moved to her bed side.

"Something soothing."

"Well what songs sooth you, relax you?"

"I always loved 'I shall believe' by Sheryl Crow. Do you know that one?"

"Yeah I do. I love Sheryl Crow. Let me get my guitar." I got up to find it.

"No. Just sing to me Ashley. I just want to hear your voice."

"Okay." I sat down on the chair next to the bed and scooted it closer so I wouldn't have to sing loud. Miranda was asleep on the couch.

_Come to me now_

_And lay your hands over me_

_Even if it's a lie_

_Say it will be alright_

_And I shall believe_

_I'm broken in two_

_And I know you're on to me_

_That I only come home_

_When I'm so all alone_

_But I do believe_

_That not everything is gonna be the way_

_You think it ought to be_

_It seems like every time I try to make it right_

_It all comes down on me_

_Please say honestly you won't give up on me_

_And I shall believe_

_And I shall believe_

I ran my hand through her hair and she closed her eyes.

_Open the door_

_And show me your face tonight_

_I know it's true_

_No one heals me like you_

_And you hold the key_

_Never again_

_Would I turn away from you_

_I'm so heavy tonight_

_But your love is alright_

_And I do believe_

_That not everything is gonna be the way_

_You think it ought to be_

_It seems like every time I try to make it right_

_It all comes down on me_

_Please say honestly_

_You won't give up on me_

_And I shall believe_

_I shall believe_

By the time I sang the last line she was asleep and I was relieved. The tears were falling freely down my face and I had to hide the ache that crept its way into my voice.

I turned around when I heard shuffling. Miranda was sitting up starting at me. Tears in her eyes as well.

"That was beautiful Ash." She whispered.

I couldn't take it. I walked out the door and outside to the patio where I lost it. I nearly fell to the ground but Miranda was there to hold me up. She stood there and held me for what seemed like forever.

Alyssa was so strong and brave. I was not. But I had to learn to be. She needed that. She needed me.

"We should get some sleep Ash. You have a big day tomorrow and you my Rock Princess need some sleep." I somehow mustered up a smile and kissed her on the cheek.

"Thanks Miranda. I love you."

"I love you too ya big Goob."

* * *

><p><em><strong>I have been practicing my Happy Dance moves...feel free to review :)<strong>_

_**Song:**_

**_I shall believe- Sheryl Crow_**


	33. Chapter 33 The perfect day

**Thanks for the reviews as always. I have a perma-grin when I read them and I am an expert "_happy dancer_" now ;)**

**CheddarCheeseLover21**- Glad that the grades are good. Spashley sex "the brain enhancer" lol. Hope the withdraw wasn't too bad.

**Sgarc12-** My tail feather was defintely shaking. Lol. I can't wait to see sexy Spencer too ;)

**awe**- No tears in this one. I promise :)

**Toni**- Hope your butt's not too sore from sitting there reading my story all day lol. I definetly know the feeling I have probably did that once or twice. Yep, I am 100% sure now that it will be chapter 35. Chapter 34 should be a loooong one. Hopefully chapter 35 too ;) There will be a road block for them in chapter 34 but they will eventually drive around it. No worries. :)

**GreenPen85**- Yes, Madison is a great friend. You are also right about Ashley and Miranda. The wait is over. The surprise is here.

**Lesbefriends**- Yep, only 3 more chapters. It will defintely be chapter 35. :) I can't comment on that last part , just know that I will do what is best for the story :)

**RandomMind**- Thanks. It means a lot. Here's your update :)

**hollymarie4**- Carmen will be a mystery for a little while longer. I try to make them adorable without getting too cheesy. Hope that's working out. :)

**tbplrbear1**- Thanks, "powerful and beautiful" are part of what I was aiming for. Chapter 35...I promise some Spashley goodness.

**Rachel2020**- I defintely did not fall over. Pfft. Thanks to the amazing reviews I've got that dance perfected ;) "Where do you get these people from" Uh I have a very colorful imagination. Lol. You wouldn't believe the stuff going on up there. Or maybe you would. lol. Did you just flick off Casey and Carmen? lol too funny.

**noodles307**- Sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry :( Ashley doesn't want to forgive Carmen but she wants Casey to be happy so she is in her own way telling her that she's giving her a chance. Here's the surpise ..were you right? This is a little shorter chapter because Chapter 34 is going to be reeeally long and hopefully chapter 35 as well ;)

- Of course Spashley will always be the main focus. But you need to sprinkle in some other characters as well to add character and balance to the story. Without Casey and Alyssa, Ashley's character would not be explained very well. They add depth to her if that makes any sense. Okay so I always have to ask about the U.K. slang. Bang Tidy? and Reet rubbish? Lol please explain.

**momo0424**- Exactly, Ashley has never really been in a relationship like this. She is still learning. Madison is a great friend, she was willing to overstep boundaries to make sure Spence was going to treat her friend good. The surprise is here. And I think it's pretty epic. Hope you do too. :)

**KairiM**- Thanks. YOu think Casey is going to out which relationship? Her and Carmen's or Spencer and Ashley's? We will see though...Casey and Carmen are both mysterious. Good or bad? Hmmm. Hope this update was soon enough :)

**whocares**- Love the name. Thanks. Here's what happens next...

**imaferrari**- Ashley may not forgive Carmen but she cares about Casey. She wants to give Carmen a chance because she wants Casey to be happy. Yes, so happy that Alyssa is out of the hospital and is there a better place to be than off the ocean. I don't think so.

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><p><em>I own nothing but my imagination. Casey, Alyssa and Miranda are mine too :) and a few other less important characters not worth mentioning.<em>

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><p>It was a beautiful day. A slight breeze of course but not a cold one. Everything was ready. Everyone that needed to be here was here. We were just waiting for one thing. Alyssa took an unexpected nap. She was getting weaker and naps were becoming a two or three sometimes four a day thing.<p>

"Are you ready Ash?" Miranda plopped down next to me on the patio lounger.

"Yeah. I'm a little nervous though." I started playing with the rings on my fingers.

"Why? You've done this a thousand times Ash."

"This time is different. It's special. I have to be perfect today."

"Ashley you don't have to be perfect. Alyssa is going to be so happy; do you think she cares whether or not you're 'perfect'? No." She reassured me and put her arm around me.

"I guess you're right." I gave her a friendly bump.

"Duh."

I shook my head. "I'm still nervous."

"Just have fun Ash."

Around 2pm Alyssa had finally woken up. After getting a small bite to eat she was wheeled out to the patio.

The look on her face took away all of my nerves. She was so surprised. Her eyes were wide and she held her hand over her mouth.

"Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Seriously?" She couldn't contain her excitement and I'm sure if she could jump up and down she would have.

We were set up on the higher part of the very large patio, a good 30 feet away. Rick the drummer, Chris the bassist, Rob on the keyboard and me with my acoustic. We planned for a 10 song set. All of Alyssa's favorites. I may or may not have snuck a look at her playlist "My Fave's" on her I-pod last week during a visit. Most of the songs the band and I already knew. A few we had to practice.

"Alyssa I know you wanted to come to one of my shows and it really sucks that you couldn't. Sooo, I figured we would bring the show to you." She was grinning ear to ear and clapping her hands.

I nodded to the guys and they nodded back signaling they were ready and we started the show. Paramore's Misery Business was first followed by the slower We Are Broken. Then we played Never Say Never by The Fray and Good To You by Mariana Trench. We did a lighter version of Metallica's Nothing Else Matters and Nickleback's If Everyone Cared.

We took a quick break so Alyssa could use the bathroom if she needed to or get something to drink. When we continued we finished off with The Man Who Can't Be Moved by The Script, Run by Snow Patrol and finally Chasing Pavements by Adele. There was one last song and it was very special to Alyssa.

"Okay so this is the last song and from what I have been told your mother used to sing a shorter version to you as a small child every night before you went to bed." She shook her head while smiling and looked up at her mom who was standing next to her chair and holding her hand.

_Hey, where did we go_

_Days when the rains came?_

_Down in the hollow_

_Playin' a new game_

_Laughin' and a-runnin', hey hey_

_Skippin' and a-jumpin'_

_In the misty mornin' fog_

_With our, our hearts a-thumpin'_

_And you, _

_My brown eyed girl_

_You__,__ my brown eyed girl_

Her mom was now kneeled behind the chair with her arms around Alyssa as she clapped along with the beat.

_And whatever happened_

_To Tuesday and so slow_

_Going down the old mine_

_With a transistor radio_

_Standin' in the sunlight laughin'_

_Hidin' behind a rainbow's wall_

_Slippin' and a-slidin'_

_All along the waterfall_

_With you, _

_My brown eyed girl_

_You__,__ my brown eyed girl_

The whole band sang the next part.

_Do you remember when_

_We used to sing?_

_Sha la la, la la, la la, la la, l-la te da_

_Just like that_

_Sha la la, la la, la la, la la, l-la te da_

_La te da_

I waved her mom up to the stage and she sang the next part.

_So hard to find my way_

_Now that I'm all on my own_

_I saw you just the other day_

_My, how you have grown_

_My brown eyed girl_

_You,_

_My brown eyed girl_

She gave me back the microphone and went back to Alyssa wrapping her up in a warm hug.

_Do you remember when_

_We used to sing?_

_Sha la la, la la, la la, la la, l-la te da_

_(Lyin' in the green grass!)_

_Sha la la, la la, la la, la la, l-la te da_

_(Bit by bit by bit by bit by bit by bit)_

_Sha la la, la la, la la, la la, l-la te da_

_(Sha la la la la, la la la la, la te da, la te da, la te da, da da da)_

_Sha la la, la la, la la, la la, l-la te da_

After the applause had ended I walked over to Alyssa. She held her arms out and I kneeled down in front of her so she could wrap her arms around me.

"That was so awesome Ashley. You were amazing. How did you know those were my favorite songs? How long have you been planning this? Oh my gosh I am so happy." She finally took a breath.

I laughed. "Slow down. I saw the playlist on your I-pod and I've been planning this since it was confirmed you were coming here. And I'm glad you're happy. I'm happy that I could do this for you. I was just as excited as you."

"Thank you Ashley. For this, for everything. I wish there was some way I could repay you." She looked down.

"Hey." I tilted her head back up by her chin.

"Smile." I said.

She smiled and it was another one of those ear to ear smiled that reached her eyes and made them almost sparkle.

"That right there is payment enough."

She hugged me again and somehow I kept the tears in check.

"I just want to see you happy." I said quietly as she held on tight to me. I noticed her arms were cold and she was shivering a bit.

"I am happy. Really I am."

"Good. Now let's go get you warm."

I helped her into the house and then over to the couch in the room. She was tired of "being in the damn bed". I was able to lift her out of the chair and onto the couch with no problem. She was so light.

I sat down on the couch with her and she took my hand.

"You know I'm not much of a fan of God right now but I thank Him every day for sending you to me. It's made all of this a little easier."

I didn't know what to say to that.

"It's okay Ash. You don't have to say anything." She gave me a little smile and patted my leg.

"Spencer believed in me. She thought that I was exactly what you needed. I'm glad she was right. I needed you to ya know."

I grabbed her hand that was still on my leg and held it in both of mine.

"You talk about Spencer a lot."

"I do?" Of course I did.

She laughed. "Yes. You do."

"Well she's a very interesting person. There's a lot to talk about." I tried my best to down play it.

"You like her don't you?" Like? That's quite the understatement.

"I do. I like her very much." Veeeeeery much.

"Too bad she's your teacher huh."

I couldn't hide my smirk.

"No way. Shut up. Really?"

"Yes. But it's very much on the down low for obvious reasons. We're very happy. _She_ makes me very happy. I graduate in less than a month and then we can make it official."

"Wow. That's crazy. She sounds like an amazing woman from what I hear from you and Miranda and you are the most awesome person I have ever met so I shouldn't be so surprised. I'm sure you make her happy too."

"I try my best."

"So you more than 'like her very much'?"

"Yes I more than 'like her very much'…I love her. I love her with everything I have and everything I am." My lips spread into a cheesy smile as I continued.

"A lot of people would flip out if they found out. She could get into a lot of trouble. Just shows you can't help who you fall in love with."

"I may not be an expert at love. I've only ever had one boyfriend when I was like 14. Don't know if you can even call it a boyfriend at that age. But I think if you find love you're lucky. Who cares how old they are, what gender they are, what race they are. Just make sure you tell her you love her every second you get. Don't take advantage of what you have..ever."

"You may not be an expert in love but that was a pretty good speech."

"Ehh. I watch a lot of T.V. and read a lot of books. Nothing else to do." She laughed.

"Thanks Alyssa. Spencer and I will probably catch some flack for our relationship but it's worth it."

She yawned through her smile. I knew she was getting tired again. One of her nurses came in and helped her to her bed. She needed to check her vitals so I left the room.

I walked back outside and to the edge of the patio. Leaning on the rail I saw something that left me slack-jawed. Miranda was sitting in the sand with someone. Her hand was on his arm. She was flirting. She was flirting with Chris my bassist. She was flirting with Chris my bassist and he was flirting back.

Go Miranda.

Wait. I know Chris is great at playing bass. I know he is a freshman at the community college in L.A. and works at a skateboard shop part-time. I know that he doesn't talk very much and he smiles too much for my liking. That's about all I know about Chris. And now I suddenly don't like the fact that they are sitting so close. I'll have to call my dad's P.I. and find some more info on this kid.

"He's a good kid. Don't worry so much." Huh? I turn around to see Rick the drummer.

"Who said I'm worried? Miranda's a smart girl." Exactly Ash so stop worrying.

"Chris is like a little brother to me. He really is a good kid. I'm surprised he's talking to your friend. He's a little shy." He leaned on the railing next to me.

"It's the quiet one's you have to worry about." I don't care what Rick said. I was calling that P.I. in the morning.

We stood there and chatted for another 20 minutes or so when Miranda and Chris started walking about the pathway. They exchanged phones so I am guessing they were exchanging phone numbers.

"So I'll see ya Thursday right?" Rick asked interrupting me from the glare I was shooting Chris.

"Yeah. See ya Thursday. Thanks again for doing this today." I gave him a quick hug and he walked off. I waved at Chris and he waved back flashing a timid smile. I chuckled to myself.

"Hey are we going to get going soon?" Miranda asked approaching me.

"Never mind that. What was_ that_?" I asked pointing at a departing Chris.

"_That_ was nothing. We were just talking." She laughed when I looked at her suspiciously.

"That's funny considering that kid never talks."

"He talks. He just doesn't talk to you because you intimidate him. He's really sweet, and smart and cute." She blushed. So cute.

"Me intimidating? Pfft."

She laughed again and pulled me in for a hug.

"You don't have to worry Ash. We were just talking and I plan to "talk" to him a lot more before anything else happens." She kissed me on the cheek.

We said our goodbyes to Alyssa who was still awake but very sleepy. We told her we would be back on Wednesday. She hugged and thanked us both again and we were on our way.

The ride home went fast. I may or may not have been going 15 over the speed limit all of the way. I couldn't wait to see my girlfriend. I had missed her so much. When we pulled up I nearly forgot to put the car in park before I threw the door open and jogged to the porch. I could hear Miranda laughing but I didn't care.

She was lying on the couch sleeping. But she wasn't alone….Spike was curled up in her arms, his chin on her neck. The scene was so precious I couldn't look away. I don't know how Spike got here. I gave Spencer a key to my house a week ago just in case. She must have went and got him.

I grabbed the blanket that was draped over the couch and laid it over stirred slightly but didn't wake up. Spike looked up at me briefly and then laid his chin back down on Spencer. Brat. He couldn't care less that I was there. I don't blame him though. I was a little jealous of him at the moment.

I was just staring down at her when her eyes suddenly opened. She jumped a bit and Spike glared up at me. Yes, my dog glared at me.

"Hey beautiful." I sat down on the edge of the couch and moved a piece of hair out of her eyes.

"Hey back. When did you get home?" She lifted her hand to caress my cheek.

"Just now." I grabbed her hand and kissed it.

"I missed you." I said before leaning down for a kiss. While my lips were pressed to hers I felt Spike's little tongue lick my cheek and I chuckled.

"When did you get Spike?" I picked him up, held him to my chest and kissed the top of his head.

"I went to pick up some carryout and found myself over in your neighborhood on the way home. I was lonely so I decided to pick him up. I miss having a dog around the house. You would have liked Bear he was the best."

"What happened to him? I remember Miranda telling me that you treated him like your baby."

"We had to put him down. It was right around the time you started volunteering. He was pretty old." I could hear the sadness in her voice but she didn't break.

"Sorry Spence. I didn't know."

"I kept it to myself. Didn't want to believe he was really gone."

"What kind of dog was he?"

"A Chihuahua."

"You named your Chihuahua 'Bear'?" I laughed.

"Hey don't be fooled by the size. Bear was a beast. A cuddly beast."

"And don't talk bad about my name choices, you named your teacup terrier after a vampire."

I nodded. "Touché."

"Hmmm. I think he likes you more than me. I'm not surprised. I haven't been the best mommy." I pouted and started scratching under his chin.

"That's probably my fault. I've been hogging all of your time." She sat up and put her arms around me.

"No complaints here." I sat Spike down on the floor and turned my head to kiss her.

"I've missed you too Baby. Turn around so I can so you how much." She had me at Baby.

I turned around and pushed her back down onto the couch. She instantly pulled me down on top of her. My right knee was between her legs and I could already tell the effect it was having on her. I barely moved it and she moaned into my mouth. When we finally did have sex it wasn't going to take much to send her over the edge. Me either in fact. Her hands found my behind and pulled me further into her. My tongue traced her lips before slipping in between them. It had only been two days but that felt like forever. I had missed kissing her and I was taking my time rediscovering every inch of her mouth.

I faintly heard the jingle of his collar before I felt him land on my back. I guess Spike wanted to play too. He was now standing on my back while I was on top of Spencer. I chuckled into her mouth.

"Why are you laughing?" She asked confused.

"Spike is standing on my back."

She laughed. "I guess it's his turn to interrupt us. I wonder if Miranda put him up to this."

She reached around me with one hand and pulled him off of me. I nestled into her side half lying on the couch and put my head on her chest. Spike was on the other side of her. We were both in heaven.

"I don't like sharing you." I pouted.

"Looks like you don't have a choice."

We both looked over at Spike who had already rested his chin on Spencer neck again.

"I don't blame him. You're so warm and comfortable and you smell so damn good. Spikey here is never gonna wanna leave."

"He doesn't have to. He can stay here as long as he wants. This can be his home too. Our home."

"Good because like me I'm sure he never wants to go back to that big empty house. This place feels more like home than that place ever did. I think it's you. Wherever you are I want to be. Wherever you are is home."

She kissed my head.

"I love you Ashley."

"I love you too."

The day had been one of the best in a while. Well since the day Spencer and I spent together. It was a great day, perfect almost. It was a happy day. No tears. As I lied there in the arms of the woman I loved everything felt right. Like no-one or nothing could change that. It felt almost too right. And that kinda scared me. It was like that eerie sense of calmness before a storm rips through town. I shook my head trying to shake away the bad feelings.

"You okay Ash?"

"Yeah Baby I'm fine."

I just needed to stop worrying and enjoy actually being happy. I just didn't know how. My mind went back to the storm and if and/or when it happened I hoped that Spencer and I would be left standing when it passed over.

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><p><strong><em>I know I said I perfected my 'happy dance' but don't let that deter you from reviewing. Reviews are greatly appreciated and overwhelmingly inspiring. :)<em>**

**_Song:_**

_Brown Eyed Girl- Van Morrison _


	34. Chapter 34 3 Weeks

**_Thanks for all the reviews guys. I know that I have said it before but I really do appreciate them. Your words are very encouraging and inspiring._**

**_Sorry I couldn't reply to your reviews this time. In a wee bit of a rush. _**

**_Here is a veeeeeery long chapter for ya. Hope you enjoy_**.

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><p><em>I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Casey and Alyssa are mine as well.<em>

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><p><strong>Spencer's P.O.V<strong>

It's 7 a.m. I've been sitting in his office for 15 minutes waiting for him. He's late of course. This is the second time I have been called to his office for a meeting and he has been late. The first time I showed up to my classroom 10 minutes late because of him. Ugh. He is the principle; he should set a better example.

The door opened and he finally strolled in. He was holding a cup of coffee from Starbucks and that pissed me off more. He stopped for coffee when he knew he was running late. Wonderful.

"Sorry I'm late Mrs. Dennison. Hope you weren't waiting too long." Seriously?

"I've been waiting since 6:45, when you asked me to be here." I didn't sound happy but I didn't sound rude either.

"Sorry about that. Had a slow start." And you just had to stop and get that coffee.

"So did you have another student that you wanted to start volunteering?" The last time I had a meeting with him he asked me to take another student into the volunteer program. He had noticed the change in Ashley and hoped I could do the same with other students.

"No. That's not why I asked you here today." He tossed an envelope in front of me and I eyed it curiously.

"Go ahead. Open it."

I slowly opened the envelope and there was a small piece of paper inside. As I started to unfold it I noticed that there wasn't much written on the paper but the print was rather large.

My eyes went wide when I saw what the print read. I tried to keep my cool but I could feel my face losing its color. My palms started to sweat and my mouth went dry.

_You should really pay more attention to your teachers. _

_Mrs. Dennison is a great teacher but she is also having sex with one of her students. _

_Tsk Tsk_

I pulled myself together, put the note back into the envelope and tossed it back towards him. I had to think fast.

"Is this some kind of a joke?" I asked him.

"I wish I knew. It was on my desk Thursday morning." He said and then got up and walked to the front of his desk before leaning on it.

"Mrs. Dennison I am required to report this kind of thing to the school board."

I suddenly felt sick. I gripped my chair.

"I don't want to do that. You are an exceptional teacher Spencer. The students actually seem to enjoy what you are teaching them. And I have even seen you help with the transformation of a few troubled kids."

I looked up at him and nodded.

"Please tell me that these accusations are false."

"Of course they are false. I am not having sex with a student. Nor have I ever." I wasn't lying. Ashley and I haven't had sex.

"I don't know who could have possibly written that or where they would even get the idea but the whole thing is just preposterous." I really didn't know who could have written it even though there were a few people that knew. And obviously I knew where someone could have had the idea but I thought Ashley and I had been very careful.

"Mrs. Dennison I never thought that the accusations were accurate. It's an anonymous letter with no proof to back it up. I am just going to take it as a student playing a prank."

You don't know how relieved I felt hearing that. I slowly released my grip from the chair and my breathing was starting to return to normal.

"But.." Uh oh. 'But' is never a good word.

"I do plan on being a little more observant and keeping my eyes and ears open. If there is some very small chance that these accusations are factual I could get into a lot of trouble for not reporting it."

"I understand Mr. Goodman. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. Thank you for not taking this to the school board. It would have been unnecessary and brought a lot of unwanted attention to the school and the students. Thank you for believing in me."

"You're welcome Mrs. Dennison. Have a good day. Keep up the excellent teaching." He walked to the door and opened it for me. Somehow I found my legs and walked out.

As I walked back to my classroom I thought about what just happened. I could have just lost my job, my teaching degree. All because of some anonymous letter. Who am I kidding? I could have lost my teaching degree because I fell in love with a student. What was I going to do now? I shook my head. Who could have done this? The only people who I was aware that knew were Me, Ashley, Miranda, Raife and now Madison. And although I knew Madison wouldn't have done this, I also knew she had a big mouth. Could she have told someone else?

What was I going to do now? That question kept popping up like an annoying Jack in the Box. I already knew what needed to be done and it would be one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life.

The naucousness was back. I ran into the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. As I stood at the sink I looked at myself in the mirror.

I was pale as a ghost.

My eyes were watery.

My lips trembling.

I was scared. Not just about the note and Mr. Goodman finding out. Not just about the possibility of losing my job.

I was scared of losing Ashley.

But I had to do this. For us. For our future.

**Ashley's P.O.V.**

I was sitting in class waiting for Spencer. She must still be in her meeting with Mr. Goodman. The class started piling up and she finally walked in. She didn't look good. Whoa..did I just say that? Seriously though. She looked horrible. Her face was pale and her eyes a little red. She sat down and started taking things out of her briefcase. She never looked up at me and I was starting to get scared. What was wrong with her? Was she not feeling well? She was feeling alright this morning when I had her up on the kitchen counter….I'm not going to get into that right now. Let's just say I had to take yet another cold shower before I came to school.

She got up from her chair and walked to the board. She was writing something on it but I was not paying attention. I was worried about her. When she turned around we made eye contact but she quickly looked away. What the fuck was that about? She started addressing the class. Something about the next story we were going to be reading. I couldn't get the image of her looking away from me out of my head. I started going over everything I did and said over the last few days. Did I do something wrong? Did I say something I shouldn't have said? I thought she had forgiven me for the Casey thing and for my reaction to her with Carmen. I know she did. I was driving myself crazy wondering what the hell was going on.

The bell finally rang and once everyone had left the classroom I approached her.

"What's going on Spence?" I asked quietly. She looked up at me and her eyes showed sadness.

"Everything's is fine. We'll talk later okay?" Her voice cracked and her bottom lip trembled slightly.

"Everything is clearly not fine Spencer. Please just tell me what's wrong." I stepped closer to where she was sitting and she stood up and was suddenly walking towards the door. I followed and stood across from her in the doorway.

"You need to go to 2nd period Ash. I can't talk about it right now but I'll talk to you later I promise."

"You're scaring me. How am I supposed to walk away right now?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. But I'm fine. Something happened this morning and we need to discuss it but not here and not right now. You need to go."

"Okay. Promise we'll talk later."

She nodded.

"I love you Spencer." I whispered on my way out the door.

I tried focusing on the rest of my classes but I couldn't. I was worried about Spencer. She wasn't mad at me, I think. But she wasn't acting like herself. She wouldn't let me get anywhere near her. It's like she was scared to let me get close to her but at the same time I could see the hurt and love in her eyes. I don't know. It was all so weird.

Somehow I made it to lunch. I walked by Spencer's classroom and the light was off and the door closed. When I got to the quad I noticed her car wasn't in the parking lot. That was strange considering she usually didn't leave until during or after my lunch period. I turned around and bumped right into…Miranda.

"Have you talked to Spence?" I asked her.

"Yeah I have. Come on." She pulled me out to my car and we got in.

"What's going on? You know don't you?" I questioned as soon as we closed the doors.

She nodded.

"Well?"

"Someone left a note on Mr. Goodman's desk. The note said that Mrs. Dennison was having sex with one of her students."

Oh fuck! This is not good. I instantly felt sick to my stomach and my whole body felt like it was on fire.

"What else did he say?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"He's not going to take it to the school board because he thinks it is bogus. But he is going to keep his eyes and ears open. Spence is freaking out Ash. She's scared."

"He's not going to go the school board, that's a relief."

"Yeah but somebody knows about you two and who knows what they might do when the realize Mr. G isn't doing anything about it."

I leaned my head against my steering wheel. I was trying to keep in the tears that threatened to spill but I was too weak. They fell fast from my eyes and dropped onto my jeans.

"Oh Ash. Come here." Miranda pulled me into her.

"I'm scared too Miranda. I can't lose Spencer. I just can't. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were so careful." I pulled away from her and slammed the palms of my hands into the steering wheel.

"This is such bullshit. I should have known this would happen. I am not destined to be happy. Something or someone always come along to destroy it. When I found out who did this they are going to fucking pay. I don't care what I have to do. I don't care if I have to.."

"Easy Ash. This isn't as bad as you think. If you can stay away from Spencer until after graduation you guys can be together. But you can't call her and you can't come to the house right now."

"I can't come home." I had finally found a home where I felt completely loved and welcome and I was being told I had to stay away from it.

"Sorry Ash. I'll come stay the night with you as much as you can stand me, okay?"

I ran my hands through my hair and sighed.

"Thanks Miranda. That's mean a lot." If I couldn't stay the night with Spencer, Miranda was the next best thing. She always made me feel better. Hopefully she could keep doing that. I had a feeling I was going to need her now more than ever. But I knew Spencer was going to need her too.

"Spencer is going to need you too though. I'm not going to hog you."

"I'll do what I can for the both of you. I love you guys so much. I hate that this happened."

"That makes two of us."

I started the car and headed out of the parking lot.

"Where are we going?"

"The phone store and then food."

"The phone store?"

"Yep. I need to get me some pre-paid phones."

I bought two, one for me and the other for Spencer of course.

I got back in the car and handed one to Miranda. She eyed me curiously.

"If you think I am going 3 weeks without at least talking to my girlfriend you are not as smart as I thought you were." She shook her head and snickered.

"Give that one to Spencer. My phone number is already programmed into it."

We got a bite to eat and then headed back to school. I went directly to art class and on the way spotted Madi by the drinking fountain talking to some friends.

"Hey Mads. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure. Talk to you later guys." I pulled her by the arm into a corner.

I told Madison everything that happened and she was as surprised as I was.

"I swear Ash. I never said anything to anyone. I've only talked about it with you and Spencer. I know I run my mouth a lot but not about the important things. I know how much she means to you Ash. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your relationship."

I already knew she didn't and I felt bad for insinuating she might have. "I'm sorry Madi. I know you would never do that to me. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's okay. So she's not talking to you?"

"Nope. She would barely look at me."

"Wow that sucks Ash. At least it's only for 3 weeks right?"

"A lot can happen in 3 weeks." It only took me 1 week to fall in love with her.

"It's not like she's going to find someone else Ash. She loves you. She is probably just as miserable as you right now."

"This sucks." I let my head fall back into the hard concrete wall.

"Well at least you don't have to worry about the sex thing happening before graduation."

"So not helping Mads." She laughed and then escorted me to Art.

Finally Gym class. I sat outside the locker room waiting for Casey. She was one of the last one's out. She walked out with a few other girls and spotted me immediately.

"I'll meet you guys in there." She said to the girls and then approached me.

"What's up Ash?" She asked with her arms crossed.

"I have to ask you something and I need you to be completely honest with me."

"Is this about Carmen? Look Ashley we're not together. We're just hanging out..as friends."

"No. This isn't about Carmen but now that you've brought her up I would like to talk about her too." I hope she didn't think I was jealous. Please.

"There's not really much to talk about. She apologized. I accepted. We've been talking and she's actually a lot of fun so we've hung out a bit." And all over each other a bit.

"How could you forgive her so easily?"

"I'm a forgiving person. You of all people should know that." I hung my head low.

"I know I've hurt you in the past but you can't compare what I did with what Carmen did." It's not even close to as bad.

"I'm not. I'm sorry I didn't mean it to sound like that. Carmen has actually been trying to apologize for months. She kept saying she was trying to change. She wanted to be a better person. She seems to be trying so I am giving her a second chance."

"Just be careful Casey."

"I will." She moved her bag on her shoulder to her other shoulder.

"What else did you want to talk about?" Oh right.

"Have you told anyone about my little crush on Mrs. Dennison?"

"Uh no. Why would I? It's not like you're the only one. Even the 'straight' girls have a crush on Mrs. Dennison. Why does it matter so much?"

Shit! I really hadn't thought this through. I had no idea how to answer that.

"Uh no reason really. Just I, I think she knows and now she's treating me different." Yep that's the best I could do.

"Of course she knows. I saw the way you looked at her in the hallway last week. You were practically undressing her with your eyes. I doubt that's the reason she's treating you differently though. Maybe it's because you've been different lately."

"Maybe. You're probably right."

"I gotta go Ashley. Some of us actually like participating in Gym."

"Eww. Sorry. Have fun." I made a disgusted face and she laughed.

"Bye Ash."

"And I'd appreciate it if you kept your balls to yourself." I yelled after her. I heard her laugh again.

"Sorry. You looked way too comfortable." She stopped and said before she walked into the Gym.

That conversation went a lot better than I thought it would. At least Casey and I could still be civil to one another and talk without it being awkward.

So I now knew it wasn't Casey. So if not Casey or Madi it had to have been someone who somehow saw us. But who? And when?

I walked into my bedroom and threw myself on the bed. This was going to be a very looooong 3 weeks. I must have fallen asleep , I heard my phone ringing and looked up and 2 hours had passed. I grabbed my phone but it wasn't ringing. Then I remembered the pre-paid phone and ran to my bag. I tore out of the bag and quickly answered.

"Spence?"

"Hey Ash." She said quietly. There was a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Thanks for the phone. That was a great idea."

"I'm going to go nuts not getting to see you and feel you Spence. I at least had to talk to you and hear your voice."

"I'm sorry Ashley. I hate that this happened. And I wish I knew how it happened but I don't and we can't worry about that. We just have to focus on the future. 3 weeks Ashley. We can do 3 weeks."

"I can't do 3 weeks Spence. I can't even do 3 hours. I miss you so much. I just want to drive over there, bust through the door and kiss you til I can't breathe. I don't know how I'm going to sleep tonight without you next to me. Without the sound of you breathing and the warmth of being in your arms. This is killing me Spence and I'm sorry to sound like a big baby but I wanna come home. To our home. Man this sucks."

She laughed. "Are you done now?"

"Don't be mean Spence. I've just gotten so used to being with you that I don't know how to not be. What do I do?"

"What did you do before me?"

"A lot of women."

"Not funny Ashley."

"Sorry. You asked."

"Why don't you write some music or read a book. Watch your favorite movie 'The Notebook'" She laughed.

"Ugh. Fine. Whatever. I freakin' love 'The Notebook'. Happy? Why don't you come over and watch it with me?"

She sighed. "You know I can't do that Ash. But if I could I'd be over there in second."

"I know. I guess I'll just have to hold my pillow and pretend that it's you." I made my pouty face even though I knew she couldn't see it.

"Hey as long as you don't start making out with your pillow. That would be crossing the line." She laughed again.

"I love you Spence." I said out of nowhere and suddenly serious.

"I love you too Ash. We're going to be okay. I believe in us."

"I believe in us too. I just wish our relationship didn't have to be tested so much."

"We're going to get through this. Just like everything else. And it's just going to make us stronger as one. It's going to make our love stronger."

"Please don't say 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'."

"It's true Ash. Every minute I have to spend away from you I realize just how much I love you and how much I want to be with you. Always."

We could do this. I could do this. For her. For us.

"I'm up for 'Always'."

We talked a little while longer before I reluctantly hung up the phone. I already missed the sound of her voice. Her sexy laugh. Her adorable yawns. I sighed and laid my head down. Hoping I could at least hold her in my dreams.

**_2 weeks, 5 days left…_**

It's been 2 days and I am fucking miserable. I have gotten to see Spencer in class luckily but it hasn't been the same. She barely looks at me. I know it's hard for her. I find myself staring at her more than usual. Daydreaming. Wishing for this to be over.

The doorbell rang and interrupted me from what I was doing. I ran down the stairs hoping and wishing but knowing it was not her. On my doorstep was Miranda, holding Spike and the biggest tub of Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream I had ever seen.

"Hope you weren't busy because I brought movies too."

"Well actually I sort of was but that ice cream is calling my name."

"And what were you doing? Organizing your record collection again?"

I swear she is some kind of psychic.

"Yes I was. But this time I was doing it backwards alphabetically and by band name."

"Oh boy. Yeah I'm glad I came over." She was looking at me strange.

"What?" She just laughed and handed me a spoon.

I hope Spence will still love me in 3 weeks when I've gained 30 lbs. from eating away my misery.

**_2 weeks, 2 days left_…..**

I pulled up to the park a half hour early. I was so excited to see Spencer and actually get to talk to her in person. There were already a lot of people there. I found my group. It wasn't hard. I just looked for the stunningly beautiful blonde that was currently surrounded. She was giving out instructions. I just stood back and smiled. I watched her actions in complete admiration. She truly loved doing this. After she had given the last few instructions she turned around and caught me grinning like a fool. I was a fool….for her.

"Hi." She said sweetly as she walked towards me with a grin matching mine.

"Hi." "I thought I was early."

"You are. But so is everyone else."

"I miss seeing you like this." I eyed her up and down.

"Like what?"

"In plain clothes. You don't know how sexy you make a hooded sweatshirt look."

She laughed. "It's only been 6 days Ashley."

"But who's counting right?" I sure was.

"Well where do you want me Teach?"

"Right by my side where I can keep an eye on you." She said and then looked over towards one of the other groups.

I laughed when I saw Rebecca.

"You so don't need to worry about her Spence. She's got nothing on my smokin' hot girlfriend."

"No?"

"Not even close. I never liked her. She's actually kind of annoying." She was too pushy.

"Not annoying enough to keep you from asking her out." I forgot about that.

"I was just trying to make you jealous Spence." I smirked. "And it worked."

She shook her head with a smile. "Yes. It did."

She sent me over to the fresh flower beds to help Miranda with planting the flowers. After we finished with that we joined Spencer in re-painting the very large play structure.

We all talked amongst ourselves about everything that went down but we also talked about Chris. Miranda's new boyfriend. Okay so he wasn't her boyfriend but Spence and I couldn't help but tease her a bit. They had been talking on the phone for at least an hour every night. She was so cute when she talked about him. She liked him a lot. But she was taking it slow and being careful. That's my girl.

I took my time painting my side which was a great deal smaller than what Spencer was painting. I maybe even painted it over a couple times. I needed more time with my girlfriend.

"Hey Picasso, you done yet?" Miranda bumped me with her hip.

"Hey easy, you'll ruin my masterpiece."

"Don't think I haven't noticed that you have painted that pole more than 3 times."

She laughed and so did Spencer who was suddenly on the other side of me.

"Yeah I kind of noticed that too." She smiled at me adoringly.

"Whatever. I just want it to be perfect. The kids deserve perfect."

"Uh huh. Sure. So you're not just trying to prolong your time with Spencer?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Someone called Spencer's name and she started walking away.

"I'll be right back."

Miranda put her arm around my shoulder.

"I know you miss her. She misses you too. Only 2 more weeks Ash."

"Yeah..2 more weeks." I replied with a frown. I can do this. I really can.

Who am I kidding?

* * *

><p>Being up on the stage was exactly what I needed. I missed Thursday's show because I wasn't feeling well. Johnny didn't have a problem with that he just called someone else to do the show.<p>

I thought about Spencer the entire time on was up there. Of course I did, how could I not? Nearly every song was about her. And if it wasn't for Miranda smiling up at me I probably wouldn't have made it through the show without losing it. Singing about Spencer made me miss her even more. If that was possible. When did I become such a crybaby?

After the show Miranda came home with me. We were driving to Malibu in the morning to spend the day with Alyssa.

Spending the day with her was just what I needed. She always put everything into perspective for me. I needed to stop whining about not getting to see Spencer. At least we had a future together. 2 more weeks and everything would be perfect.

**_2 weeks 3 days left_…**

The week flew by fast. We were studying Song of Myself from Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman. It was one of my favorite poems and it made the week a little more bearable. Spencer even smiled at me a few times in class. It's amazing how much a smile can brighten up your day.

**_2 weeks 1 day left….._**

Alyssa was unusually energetic today. Miranda and I took her out to the ocean and sat her down in the sand. We took some pictures and had a picnic on the beach. It was a good day. One I will never forget. Alyssa was even grilling Miranda on her 'boyfriend'. I had never seen Miranda blush so much. I gave Alyssa a gift that I had made for her. I was so bored at home I decided to record a little album in the music room. It wasn't much but it made her so happy. The album consisted of all the songs I sang at her show and a few other ones like Hallelujah and The Only Exception by Paramore. When I sang that song it reminded me of what I had with Spencer. She truly was the The Only Exception.

**_1 week 4 days left….._**

I talked to Casey and Carmen today. They were sitting together in the quad and I just couldn't help myself. I had to be nosey.

"So are you guys together now?" I asked as I took a sit directly in front of them.

They looked at each other and laughed.

"No we are not together Ashley. We are just friends." Carmen replied still laughing a bit.

"What is so funny?" I looked between the both of them who were bright red.

"We tried the whole 'together' thing. We decided that maybe we should just stay friends." Casey explained.

"Okay I didn't need to know that. Was it that bad that you are both laughing about it?"

"Don't worry about it Ashley. Some things are better left unsaid and unknown. Trust me." Carmen said seriously.

"Okaaay then. You two have a great day. Bye now." What the hell was that? I don't think I even want to know. Okay I lied I did want to know.

When I walked away they started laughing again and then playfully shoving each other. It was cute. I never thought I would say this but they were cute together. I hoped they worked out their issues with the 'togetherness'.

**_1 week, 2 days left…_**

Volunteer day Yay! We were visited an orphanage today. We took the kids to the zoo. It was truly an eye-opening experience.

I sat down next to Spencer on the bus ride home. Our hands both resting on our knees so close to each other. I wanted so badly to reach over and hold hers. But we had a week and I was not going to take any risks.

"These kids are great Ashley. It's so sad that they don't have anyone or even a home."

"Uh oh. You're not thinking about what I think you're thinking about, are you?"

"What?"

"I want kids Spence but not for at least another 10 years. Ya know when we're old married hags."

She laughed.

"I'm not thinking of adopting any kids right now Ashley. I want to have my own. But I'm not waiting 10 years. Maybe 5 or 6."

"You would make an amazing mother." I quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it ignoring the shock that went through my arm I dropped it quickly.

"So would you."

"I would definitely be the cool mom."

"Hey." She slapped my arm playfully.

"Are you saying I'm not cool?" She pouted.

"You're cool Spence. But we both know I'm going to be the mom who breaks the rules. It's who I am."

"I love who you are." She said quietly.

I just smiled. One more week and she was finally all mine…officially.

**_5 days left….._**

Finally exams were over. I had never studied so much in my life. I had nothing else to do so I figured why not. I couldn't believe I was actually graduating. A couple months ago I didn't even care. It's amazing how love can change someone. I was proud of myself for getting to this point and a little surprised. I'm sure I wasn't the only one.

It's Friday night and Miranda, Madi and Chelsea are in my room, or shall I say closet. We were looking for something for Miranda to wear on her first date. Yes, you heard right. Her first date. And yes I was completely okay with that. I was completely okay with that because I had gotten the report back from the P.I. I hired to find out about Chris and everything came back normal. Besides a few tickets for speeding he was clean. And yes I told Miranda about the P.I. She just laughed. "I'm not surprised." She said. "Thank you for looking out for me."

I offered to take her shopping at the mall for an outfit for her date but she refused. "I'll just go shopping in your closet. There are still price tags on almost half the clothes in there." Oops. I may have a slight addiction.

When she was finally ready and Chris came to pick her up I nearly cried. I felt like the proud big sis. I didn't even grill Chris when he came in. I just asked him to politely have her home by Midnight. He had smiled but I could see that it was unsure and uncomfortable. Was I that intimidating?

I gave Miranda a hug and kissed her on the cheek.

"I'll call you in an hour. The code phrase is..'Do you need me to pick you up something from the pharmacy?' I'll be there in a heartbeat to pick you up." I whispered in her ear.

I told her if she was having a bad time and needed an out I would call pretending to be a very ill Spencer.

"Thanks Ash. But I know I'm not going to need it." She pulled back and gave a me a big smile. Then she was out the door and on the way to his car.

"If he hurts her I'll kill the kid." I said shutting the door. Madi and Chelsea shook their heads and chuckled.

I called Spencer later that night and told her about Miranda's big date. Spencer actually was a little on the ill side. She had a cold. I felt bad for her in class the end of the week. She was blowing her nose and coughing. It wasn't very attractive but I found myself wanting to take her home and take care of her.

After Chelsea left Madi and I started cooking. We were attempting to make Chicken soup. I told you I wanted to take care of Spencer. I figured it was the least I could do. I would send it home with Miranda on Saturday morning.

We didn't have volunteer work on Saturday which made me sad. I was glad at the same time. Spencer needed to get better. Graduation was less than 5 days away. Yippee.

Miranda's date went really good. He didn't even try to kiss her when he dropped her off at the door. I may have been peeking a bit. I know, shame on me. He did kiss her on the cheek. It was sweet.

After gushing about the date for over an hour we went to sleep. In the morning she took the chicken soup home. She called to say that Spencer couldn't stop smiling when she saw the big pot of soup. And it apparently was pretty good. Spencer had 2 bowls. I got a call a little while after from Spencer. She thanked me and told me she was thinking of ways to personally thank me when she got better. Wink , wink. Of course that would have to wait til after Tuesday.

**_2 days left…. _**

It was Monday morning and I was exhausted. We had gotten home really late from our trip to Malibu. Alyssa slept most of the morning and afternoon so we had to wait until the evening to spend time with her. I sang a couple of the new songs I had written and Miranda told Alyssa all about her big date. She was hesitant at first until Alyssa said. "You better tell me or I'll call Chris right now and ask him myself."

It was only a half day and after picking up my robe for tomorrow's ceremony I went to get lunch with the girls. We went to my house afterwards and there was a surprise waiting for me. My dad was home. I ran in the house and found him in the kitchen baking. Yes my dad was baking. Cute little apron and all. I nearly tackled him to the ground.

"There's my princess. How was your last day of school?" He kissed me on the forehead and set me down.

"Wonderful. But not as wonderful as seeing you here. I can't believe you're here already. You weren't supposed to be in til just before the ceremony."

"I moved some things around so I could get here early. I didn't want to get here last minute." Madi and Miranda finally made it into the kitchen. "Hi girls."

"Mr. Davies it's good to see you." Miranda walked up and gave him a hug.

"It's Raife. None of that Mr. Davies stuff." He held his arms out for Madi and she walked into them.

"Thank you girls for keeping my Princess here company. I know she has been going nuts lately." My dad knew everything. I had called him once or twice or maybe even 15 times whining. I actually felt bad for him.

"Well she won't be going nuts for much longer. We graduate tomorrow. Soon she will have her Spencer time back." Madi said.

"Thank God. I can't take her and Spencer much longer. They are both miserable and it's making me miserable." Miranda cried.

"What? Whatever lover girl." She blushed and I laughed.

"What are you baking dad?" I peeked into the oven.

"A cake of course."

"A cake? For what?"

"My baby is graduating tomorrow. I think that calls for celebration and you can't celebrate without a cake…or 3." He opened the fridge and there were already 2 cakes in there.

"Wow. Are you planning some big party that I'm not aware of?"

"Nah. No party but I do expect a few people."

"I hope one of those people is my girlfriend."

"I may have called her." He winked.

Madi and Miranda left so I could hang out with my dad. He was only home until Wednesday morning.

He talked a little about his tour and I talked about school and Spencer. We went out and had dinner and then went shopping. He was buying me a new guitar for graduation and I couldn't have been more thrilled.

I got an electric guitar. I had been practicing the electric lately since I was bored. My new guitar was a 1959 Les Paul Standard VOS. One of the most acclaimed electric guitars ever made. It set my dad back almost 10 grand. It was that awesome.

When we got home I practiced with it a little. He sat back and instructed me. It was moments like this with my dad that I knew this is what I wanted to do. I wanted to write music and play my guitar. It truly made me happy and at peace. It is probably what got me through the last few weeks. Now I just had to get my girl and life would be….perfect.

Tuesday morning I got a call from Spencer. It was not a good call. She was on her way to the airport. Gram was in the hospital again. She didn't have very many details but Gram had asked for her. She apologized several times for leaving me on graduation day and I was upset but I understood. Gram needed her more than I did right now. I would just have to wait….longer. I told her I loved her and to give Gram my best. I hoped she would be okay.

The ceremony came fast and as I was waiting in line to receive my diploma I looked over at my fan club. Dad was dressed sharply in a suit with an enormous and cheesy grin on his face and Miranda sat next to him shaking her head. He was driving her crazy. I laughed and moved up in line.

When Mr. Goodman shook my hand my dad erupted. You could hear him throughout the entire building. If everyone didn't already know my dad was there they certainly did now.

"I never thought I would see this day Miss. Davies. I must say I am pleased but not surprised. I knew you had it in you. I'm glad I listened to Mrs. Dennison and didn't suspend you or expel you. I've never seen such a turn around. Congratulations Miss Davies. You earned this." He handed me my diploma.

"Thank you Mr. G." And thank you for not going to the school board. I smiled.

My Dad took nearly 100 pictures. At least it seemed like that many. I posed with him and with my friends and then we back to our house for dinner and dessert. Madi and her parents and Chelsea and her mother, little brother and sister. Miranda was there too of course. My Dad had been cooking most of the morning along with our part-time Chef Greta. Now I see why. They made enough to feed a small army. After dinner he brought out the 3 cakes. He made a toast to Madi, Chelsea and I and it nearly brought me to tears. He was so proud.

While everyone was in the living room listening to tour stories from my dad I snuck out to call Spencer.

"How is she?" I asked as soon as she picked up the phone.

"She's stable. She fell Ash. She fell and hit her head really hard. She was unconscious for almost 24 hours. She's awake now but she is really groggy." She sounded really tired.

"I'm sorry Spence. Are you okay?"

"Yeah Ash I'm okay. How was the ceremony? You did get your diploma right?" She joked.

"Yep. You're talking to a high school graduate here. And you know what that means?"

"That I am no longer your teacher?"

"Exactly. I can't wait to see you Spence." I didn't even try to hide the desperation in my voice.

"Me either. I'm sorry I had to leave. But we've waited this long right."

"Right." And if I had it my way we wouldn't have to wait much longer.

"I gotta go back before my dad realizes I'm gone. I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay. I love you Ash. And congratulations."

"Thanks Baby, I love you too."

"Ash are you ready?" Madi asked.

"Yeah just about." I was getting dressed for the lame party tonight at the school. I guess it was a way of saying your goodbyes to all of your school mates.

We arrived at the school fashionably late. I walked over to the punch bowl and grabbed a cup. Then I walked over to the bleachers and sat down at the very top. I took it all in. I would not miss this place at all.

"Wanna play some volleyball?"

"Nah. Never again. Unless it's on the beach and I'm surrounded my girls in bikini's."

"Hmm. That does sound better."

"Why are you sitting up here by yourself?"

I shrugged. "I'm pouting. We just graduated today. I was hoping I wouldn't have to come back. Ever."

She laughed. "I know what you mean. But I'm going to miss certain things ya know."

"Oh really? Like what?"

"Seeing you every day. Once we leave here I don't know when I will or if I'll ever see you again and that sucks."

"Yeah. I guess you're right. It doesn't have to be that way Case." I haven't called her Case since we decided not to be friends anymore.

"Are you saying you want to be friends again?" She finally sat down next to me.

"Are you going to be able to be just my friend?"

"Yeah. I think I can manage. I hate not talking to you more than the fact that I'll never have you. Besides I can't compete with Mrs. Dennison so I'm not going to even try." What did she just say?

"What? How did you find out? Was it you that told Mr. Goodman?"

"Easy Ash. I didn't know exactly for sure. Until now that is. Amanda told me."

"Amanda?" How did that Bitch find out?

"She went to go talk to Mrs. Dennison about an assignment and overheard you two talking. She didn't say what she heard just that you two were definitely a couple."

"Wow."

"That was my reaction when I heard you and Mrs. D. were together. And then our conversation the other day made more sense. How long?"

"A couple months. But we are not having sex no matter what Amanda told you."

"Really? That's surprising. Not as surprising as you and our teacher being a couple but it's definitely a shocker."

"Not really. I love her. I would do anything for her."

"It explains a lot. The new Ashley. The reason you turned me down. I understand now and I'm sorry."

I nodded. "So how come Amanda didn't go to the school board? Her mom is on the board isn't she?"

"She said she didn't want to get Mrs. Dennison into trouble. She knew Mr. Goodman wouldn't do anything about it because it was just an anonymous letter. She just wanted to keep you away from her. Sort of like she did with us."

I shook my head. "Why can't she just mind her own damn business?"

"I don't know. She gets her kicks out of messing with you."

"So what about you? You could have gone to someone with this info."

"Ash you shouldn't even have to ask. I love you. I always will. No matter what happened this year I still want you to be happy. I'm sorry if I caused any problems with you and Mrs. Dennison."

"Thank you. It means a lot. I'll always care for you too Case. No matter what. So what's going on with you and Vasquez?"

"Nothing much. We like each other but we are taking it reeeeally slow. Not jumping into things anymore. Didn't work out right the first time. It's just hard. She has a lot to live up to. She's not you." She looked away quickly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Case. No more tears. You're 18. There's someone out there for you. But it's not me. You'll find someone. Someone who will treat you like you deserve. Someone who can make you happy." She turned back towards me and smiled.

"Thanks Ash. I'm gonna miss you." She leaned in and I hugged her. I missed this.

"Still going to Europe this summer?" She asked when she pulled away.

"Nope. Michigan." She looked at me strangely.

"Michigan?" She questioned like it was the last place on earth she would ever go.

"Yep. Michigan."

"What's in Michigan?"

"Everything."

I walked down the hall towards the doors after saying goodbye to Chelsea and Madi. And I couldn't have been happier to spot Amanda and her friends walking down the hall towards me. Amanda looked at me and she instantly knew I knew. She stopped walking and told her friends to meet her in the gym.

"Come on outside with me. I want to talk." She nodded and walked outside behind me.

Once we got outside she started talking. "Going to see your lover?"

"For your information she is not my lover..yet. Not that I owe you anything."

"Oh I think you do. We both know I could have gotten her fired if I really wanted to. I think you owe me some gratitude." What a bitch. I was not thanking her. I just wanted to leave and go see Spencer. There was just one thing left to do.

"I owe you huh? You want me to say Thanks?" She nodded.

I pulled my arm back and flung it forward. Hitting her square in the face. She was holding her face but it wasn't bleeding. I didn't hit her as hard as I hit Carmen.

"Thanks. Hope I never see you again." And with that I left. Miranda was waiting in the parking lot for me.

We went to my house. I packed and said goodbye to my dad. Miranda had called Spencer's dad to make sure it was okay that we came. He assured her he would be happy to see us and so would Spencer.

As we boarded the plane a million thoughts went through my mind. But only one worth thinking of twice. I couldn't wait to hold her and kiss her and after that I was never letting her go again.

The storm came, it hit us hard. But we did not fall. We were even stronger now.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Reviews are very much welcome. Hopefully I can get the next chapter to you by Saturday. I know some of you are anxiously waiting for it. I will try my best to get it to you as soon as possible.<strong> _

_Check out **The Clincher by Abworkma** if you haven't already..Awesome story :)_


	35. Chapter 35 Meet the Carlins

_**Okay so this is Part 1. I decided to make this chapter 2 parts. The first one is about Ashley meeting a few of the Carlin's and part 2 is ALL SPASHLEY . Yay!**_

_**Thank you guys for your reviews. Awesome as always :)**_

**Lesbefriends**- Sorry I kept you waiting an extra day. Hope the 2 chapters make up for it ;)

**Sgarc12**- Yeah I am glad Casey and Ash worked it out. Casey was never supposed to be the bad guy. Things don't always turn out the way you want right. I'm sorry you missed Spencer but I have a Spence P.O.V. in the first part and there is a WHOLE LOT of Spence in part 2 ;)

**toni**- Thank you. It means A LOT. I hope you enjoy what I have brought to the table tonight ;)

**hollymarie4**- Nah Amanda doesn't have a thing for Ash. She just a bitch ;)

**Rachel2020**- Closing time? Not quite but very close. I would like to say that I will end it on Chapter 40 but who knows.

**noodles307**- I didn't even realize I was using M.M's name. Ooops. Lol. I don't think of her as Amanda. I thought long and hard about Casey and Carmen being a couple but it just didn't fit. At least not yet. Casey is so in love with Ashley. It just didn't feel right. "next please" here ya go..Another very loooong chapter or two short ones.

**GreenPen85**- Yes the wait is finally over. You just have to read throught the first 4,000 plus words. Hope you can handle that. Lol. Enjoy :)

**KairiM**- The drama ain't ever over until you see the word 'the end' which will not be for another 5 chapters or so. Casey was never meant to be the bad guy so I had to redeem her a bit. Glad it worked..a little.

**PurpleLover92**- Glad you like my long chapters. I go a bit to the extreme sometimes. Lol. I wanted to slap that bitch too...which is why I had Ashley do it. lol.

**imaferrari-** Yeah I wanted to speed up the pace a bit. It was time for the togetherness and 3 more weeks would have been like waaaay too many chapters. lol. Glad you liked it. Here is more. Hope you enjoy ;)

**momo0424**- Yes they were miserable but they will there time is here now..finally. Ashley can't wait to see Spencer but she also knows that Spence may need her and Miranda right now. She does get to meet some of the family ..and Gram of course :)

**Sw33tLov3**- Here ya go :)

**abworkma**- Yeah I know it's a taboo theme but I have read so many teacher/student stories that just didn't seem right. They weren't very realistic and that bugged me. I wanted to make this story as realistic as possible. I know I might have lost a few readers because they grew impatient but I will always do what is right for the story and I didn't want to rush into things. I am glad you gave it a chance. You are quite welcome for the shout out. It is well deserved. :)

**kaysh123**- Glad you gave my story a chance. It does start of cliche but turns into something quite different. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it immensly.

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><p><em>As you know I own nothing but my imagination and of course Miranda, Alyssa, Casey and Gram :)<em>

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><p>We didn't arrive in Michigan until 4 p.m. Wednesday afternoon. I was not happy about having to wait that long. Hopefully someday I will be so rich and famous that I'll own my own frickin' plane. My dad owns a Learjet which was a midsized personal plane. Unfortunately wherever he was, the plane was. Anyway, so we arrived around 4 p.m. and Spencer's brother Glen picked us up from the airport. I don't remember a lot about Glen considering Spencer never really talked about him. I did however remember her saying that he was irresponsible which is why I wasn't surprised when he was over a half an hour late.<p>

"So you're Ashley huh?" He asked looking back at me through the rear view mirror.

"Last time I checked." This one's not too smart I see.

"And you're _with_ my sister?" Oh boy. He was clueless too.

"Yes I am." I replied and then looked out my window.

"So you guys have sex?" He wiggled his eyebrows and I rolled my eyes and sighed.

"Are you seriously asking me if I am having sex with your sister?" Miranda was laughing in the front seat. I kicked the back of the seat and she stopped.

"Yeah I am. It's so weird. I never thought my sister would score hotter chicks then me. I didn't even know she was gay." He shook his head.

"Thanks… I think." Was that a compliment?

"So how long have you guys been doing it?" What the fuck?

"Do you ask any questions that aren't about sex?"

"Yeah, but I'll leave the boring questions for later."

"Your sister and I aren't 'doing it'..yet. Not that that's any of your business." I didn't want to be rude but damn, nosey much.

"I knew it. Spence never did like to break the rules." That doesn't surprise me.

"What about you Randy?" Who the hell is Randy?

"Uh. No I'm not having sex with… either of them." Miranda answered with a disgusted look. He calls Miranda, Randy?

He laughed and I actually liked the sound of it. It reminded me of Spencer's.

"That's not what I meant. Do you have a boyfriend silly?"

"Sort of. Yes." She answered shyly. Awe.

They chatted the whole rest of the way home about Chris and Glen's girlfriend Julie. He didn't like her very much but she had a kid and he liked the kid. So he didn't want to leave her because the kid was 'so cool'. His words, not mine. Now I know why Spence never talked about Glen. Really though he didn't seem like that bad of a guy.

We pulled up to the house a little after 5:30. It was a large country style home with light yellow siding, blue shutters and a white wrap around porch with a swing hanging from it. I could totally see Spencer running around as a child with her blonde hair in pigtails and a cute little sundress, swinging on the tire swing that was still hanging on the tree beside the house.

Glen grabbed our bags and let us in the house. When he opened the door I could instantly smell it. Italian food. Someone was cooking and the wonderful smell lingered around the entire house. He set our bags down by the stairs and we followed him into the kitchen. A tall dark haired man was at the sink washing a pan. I could tell it was Spencer's dad from the picture I had seen of all of them.

"Hey dad. We've got company." Glen shouted. There was music playing and I am pretty sure the singing was in Italian.

He whipped around and gave us a big smile. Yep..Definitely Spencer's dad. I could instantly see where she got her smile from. He walked up to us and pulled Miranda into a hug.

"So good to see you again Miranda."

"It's great to see you too Arthur. This is Ashley." She said moving aside so he could see me.

With a closer look I could see that his smile wasn't the only thing Spencer had. His sparkling blue eyes looked down at me with so much warmth that I all of my nerves went away.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you Ashley. It really is."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Sir." I held my hand out to shake his but he pulled me into a hug instead.

"It's Arthur or Dad or Mr. C. None of this Sir stuff." He said while pulling away.

"Okay Mr. C." For some reason that felt the most comfortable saying.

"Spencer should be back any minute. She has been at the hospital all day but promised she would come home for dinner." He said while putting some bread on a pan and spreading butter on it.

I could not wait to eat whatever it was that was in that oven. Spencer always talked about what an amazing cook her dad was. I even made her promise that one day she would take me to his restaurant. This was even better.

"Do you need any help with the dinner?" I asked not wanting to just stand there.

"No but thank you. Why don't you let Miranda show you around. Everything will be ready in about 20 minutes or so." He was cutting up some garlic and cheese from a block. I was pretty sure he was making bread sticks. Yum.

Miranda showed me around the house and we ended up in Spencer's old room. Except Spencer's old room was now an office. It still had some of her pictures of her with her family and even a few with Aiden. He seemed like a cool guy and was very good looking..for a guy.

"They were really happy ya know?" Miranda whispered.

"Looks like it." I traced Spencer's smiling face.

"What was he like?"

"Life of the party." She smiled and grabbed the picture from me.

"He was funny, always wanted to make people laugh. And he was genuine. He cared so much about everyone. And the one's he loved, he made them feel so special. He was so protective of me too. He walked me to school every day and picked me up too. When we got home he would help me with my homework and we'd share Oreo's and milk. Even when he got to high school he found time to spend with me. And I remember one year on Halloween I was sick and couldn't go trick or treating so he had all of his friends put a handful of their candy into a bag for me. I think mine was bigger than his. And one year I wanted a new bike for Christmas but my parents said I didn't need a new one and they couldn't really afford it so Aiden saved all of his money he made shoveling sidewalks so he could get me one. I remember waking up on Christmas morning and seeing that bike in front of the tree and just thinking how lucky I was. He never told me it was from him. I always thought it was from my parents. When he took me in after our parents died I was so lost. I shut him out because I couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes. Thank fully Spencer was there for him and we re-connected before it was too late." I wanted to cry for her but she was holding strong so I fought to keep the tear behind me eyes. No-one should have to lose everyone they loved. Miranda did and she is still one of the strongest people I know.

"You know I've lost a lot. Sometimes I used to wonder why. Why did I have to lose my entire family? What did I do wrong? Why not me too? Then I started to see that I was lucky. It sounds crazy but I am. I was lucky enough to have such an amazing family. They taught me so much. They taught me to love and to laugh. They taught me to be open and honest. They taught me to give freely and accept graciously. I'm lucky to have Spencer. She could have left after my brother died. She could have went back home and left me to the system. She could have shipped me to live with an Aunt I have never known all the way in up in Maine. She didn't though. She stayed here for me. She loved me when I didn't want anything to do with love. I wouldn't have made it without her. And then there's you. I never thought we would ever speak let alone be best friends. I was so scared of you and your reputation. I knew your locker was by mine and I was afraid to have a run in with you so I would rush to get there and leave before you did. I wish I knew that you never really went to your locker." She laughed and then continued.

"That second day that you approached me was one of the best in my life. You showed me a different side that day and I regretted thinking of you any other way. I'm sorry." I shook my head.

"Don't be. I knew my reputation and I let people believe it because I didn't care."

"You are my best friend Ash. The best I have ever had. Thank you for showing me the real you. Because I love the real you. You've been such an amazing friend. I thank God every day for you." She set the picture down and leaned towards me. I pulled her into a hug and whispered in her ear.

"I love you too Miranda."

"Now on a less serious note, you think it's time to eat yet?" She joked.

"Hey, Italian food is serious." I pulled her out of the room and down the stairs.

When we got downstairs there was a baby on the floor in the front room. Yes.. a baby. I walked in the room curiously and saw Glen fishing through a bag.

"Ah ha. Found one." He shouted and held up a diaper.

"Uh. Where'd the kid come from?" I asked still clearly confused.

"Oh this is Jack. The girlfriend's kid I was telling you about. He was napping when you got here."

He laid the baby down and changed his diaper. Gross. Then he stood up and walked over to me handing the baby to me.

"Uh what do you think you're doing?" I said holding the baby with my arms stretched out.

"I have to go make him a bottle. Just hold him for a second." No frickin' way. I don't know what to do with this thing.

Miranda laughed and I held the baby out to her.

"Nope, he's all yours." She walked out of the room and I glared at her.

The baby looked up at me and started to pout his bottom lip.

"Oh no. Please don't cry." I started to bounce him but he definetly didn't like it. He started crying softly.

"Okay okay. I can do this." Hmm what do babies like?

I started making faces at him but that seemed to scare him.

The pout on his face made me sad.

"Awe baby. It's okay. I'm really not as scary as everyone thinks I am. I really am just a big teddy bear. I promise." Talking to him seemed to work. I walked over to the couch and sat down pulling him onto my lap.

"Do you like songs Jack? What kind of songs do you like?" I asked him not expecting a response. His little hand touched my face and gently tugged on my lower lip. I laughed. This kid wasn't so bad. I could see why Glen liked him so much.

"Ow." I said reacting to his little baby nails digging into my face.

He started crying again and I started freaking out. What do I do? What do I do? Shit Glen hurry up. What do I do?

"Old McDonald had a farm. E-I-E-I-O."

**Spencer's P.O.V.**

When I walked in the door the last thing I expected to see was my girlfriend. Okay maybe not. The last thing I expected to see was my girlfriend sitting on my parents couch singing Old McDonald to Glen's girlfriend's son.

My heart just melted to the floor at the sound of "With an oink, oink here and an oink, oink there. Here an oink, there an oink, everywhere an oink, oink."

Little Jack laughed and grabbed onto her face.

I just leaned against the doorframe taking in the precious sight. I don't think I could love her more than I do right now.

"Oh hey Cradle Robber. Surprise! Your superhot 18 year old girlfriend is here." Ugh. Glen is such an Ass. I forgot to tell Ashley that my family knew about her being my student.

Ashley's head whipped around and a smile quickly made its way onto her face when she saw me. I smiled back and tilted my head to the side. Oh how I adored her.

She practically leaped off the couch and handed Jack to Glen. I didn't know she could move so fast. Before I knew it her arms were wrapped around me and I was snuggled into her neck. I breathed her in. I had missed her smell and the feeling of warmth when she held me.

"I missed you so much Spence." She mumbled into my neck.

"I missed you too Ash. I can't believe you're here." I pulled away from her neck and leaned in for a soft kiss. A flush of heat passed through me when our lips touched and I deepened the kiss uncontrollably. I had forgotten how good her lips felt and the taste of her tongue. She pressed me up against the door frame and her knee slid in between my legs. I jerked at the feeling it caused and she chuckled into the kiss. She suddenly pulled away for air and our foreheads touched. "I love you so much Spence." She said but I barely heard her. I was so lost in her dark chocolate eyes and the sensations her hands on my hips were creating.

"Ahem."

I placed another light kiss on her lips.

"Ahem."

She kissed me back just as gentle, her hands now holding my face.

"AHEM."

Oh. I forgot Glen was in the room.

We both looked over towards him. He was sitting on the couch holding Jack.

"Yeah. I'm in the room too. And as much as I would love to see two hotties making out I would also love for one of them to _not_ be my sister so…can you guys go make out in your room or something. Geez. You guys act like you haven't seen each other in months."

"Feels like months." Ashley said quietly leaning in and nibbling on my ear.

"We're going to go upstairs. Let us know when dinner is ready." I pulled Ashley up the stairs and into my old room. I sat down on the couch and she sat down on my lap straddling me.

Her lips were on mine instantly in a slow and surprisingly patient kiss. My hands found the skin under the shirt on her lower back and caressed softly sending shivers up her spine. She stopped kissing me and traced my lips with her fingers.

"I love you." She said softly, almost sad.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah. I just don't think that I ever want to spend that much time away from you again. Which raises some concerns considering what I want to do for a living."

She breathed in a big sigh and continued.

"I can't live without you Spence. And I don't want to. These past 3 weeks have been excruciatingly painful and I got to at least see you every day. I don't know how I could possibly go on a tour and not see you, or touch you, or feel you. I can't do it Spencer."

"You have all summer to decide what you want to do right?" I asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah. But I don't need all summer. I know what I want and it's you."

I smiled at her. As much as I loved hearing that I couldn't let her make that decision yet. I didn't want to be the reason she let go of her dreams.

"Dinner's ready!" Glen yelled up the stairs.

"Let's talk about this later." I suggested. Like waaay later.

She nodded before leaning in for another kiss. Holding my face she pressed her lips against mine. It never ceased to amaze me how every single time she kissed me it felt like the first time and always left me wanting more.

She pulled away and slid off of me. Hand in hand we walked downstairs and to the kitchen.

Before we got to the kitchen she pulled me back.

"Since when does your family know that I'm only 18?" I was wondering when she was going to ask that.

"I had to tell them. We were all at the hospital and Gram noticed something was off. I told her I was just worried about her but she didn't buy it. She said 'the light in my eyes wasn't as bright as the skies' like it was when I saw her last. I had no choice but to tell them. I couldn't lie anymore. Luckily they weren't too upset with me."

"So everyone knows then?"

"Everyone knows. But don't worry Ash, they are okay with it."

"I'm not worried. I love your family so far." That was a relief. Glen could be too much at times.

"Come on. Let's eat." She tugged at my arm but I stood still.

"Spence?"

"I still can't believe you're here." I caressed her cheek and she kissed my hand softly.

"Where else would I be?"

I was surprised that my dad laid off of Ashley. He wasn't too annoying. He asked her a few questions but they were all appropriate questions. I think he could sense she was a little nervous. She held my hand under the table throughout the entire dinner.

"So when does the cd come out?" Glen asked.

"I don't know. I've worked on it a bit over the last few weeks but it's nowhere near close to being ready. I'm waiting for my dad to come home. His producer is going to help me out with it."

"Do you write all of you own songs Ashley?" I know I told him that she did but I think my dad was just trying to make her feel comfortable.

"Yes. I write all of the words and music. That's where my passion truly lies. The performing is just a bonus." She wore a shy smile.

"So what do you plan to do if the music career doesn't pan out?" And here comes the grilling. I guess I spoke too soon.

"Actually I have thought a lot about that lately." She wiped her mouth with the napkin and pushed her plate forward.

"I would love to start my own label and just write and produce. Or even maybe teach music." She looked over at me for a reaction and I just smiled at her. I was so proud of her.

"Sounds like a good plan." My dad beamed. I could tell he really liked Ashley. Could I blame him? Definelty not.

After dinner Ashley thanked my dad. "I absolutely love Lasagna and every other Italian dish ever created so Thank You. It was beyond delicious."

"You're welcome Ashley. Of course I may or may not have been told that." He looked over at Spencer and they smiled at each other.

"Oh really? What else have you been told?"

"Well. I've also been told that you play one of quite beautifully." He patted the top of his dark wood studio piano.

"She does but maybe she can play you some tomorrow. I have to go back to the hospital and Ash is coming with me."

"I am?" She asked with a little uncertainty.

"I called Gram and told her I was going to be a little later than I thought. I told her you were here and she insisted you come up too. Is that okay?"

"Of course. I've wanted to meet Gram since I talked to her on the phone."

"She's wanted to meet you since then as well." I think my Gram has a girl crush on Ashley and she's never even seen her.

"She talks about you more than I do. It's kind of scary." I laughed.

"Well I am pretty awesome." She winked and I shook my head.

"And too cocky for your own good."

"I second that." Miranda said walking up behind us.

"Are you going to come too? Gram would really love to see you again."

"Maybe tomorrow. I think I'm going to go get some sleep. I'm exhausted."

"Probably from the trip." She nodded.

"Okay. We'll see you tomorrow then." I kissed her cheek. "Thank you for coming. I'm really glad you're here."

After thanking my dad again Ashley finally followed me outside. The hospital was a good half an hour away. Ashley filled me in on what happened last night.

"Wow. I would have never thought of Amanda. She was always so sweet and a great student." Just shows you never really know someone.

"Well she did say you were an awesome teacher and that's the only reason she didn't go to her mom."

"I'm glad she didn't. That would have been bad. How did you find out it was her?"

"Casey told me." She's talking to Casey again.

"Casey and I talked a bit and she told me she couldn't handle not talking to me. She wants to try and be friends again. Then she told me she knew about us. She said Amanda told her."

"So Casey wants to be friends with you again? Is she going to behave?"

She laughed at me.

"Spence you really don't have to worry. Don't you know by now that I think the world of you? And you are the only woman I see. Those other _girls_ have nothing on you."

She really did have a way with words. It was one of the things that made me fall in love with her.

"Well that's good to know because I kind of feel the same way about you." I grabbed her hand and held it in mine over the console.

We pulled into the parking lot and it started to sprinkle. And to make matters worse we had to park in the top level of the parking garage.

Once we made it to Gram's room we were exhausted from the walk.

I walked into the room first. I didn't want to just spring Ash on Gram. She was knitting something and watching Jeopardy.

"Hey Gram." I touched her leg softly to not startle her.

"Hey Sweetie. Where's your girl?" I laughed. Gram was excited to meet Ash.

"Ash come on in."

She walked in with a shy smile on her face.

"Wow. Ashley my dear, aren't you just gorgeous. Come here. I won't bite." She patted on the bed next to her.

"Hi Gram. It's great to finally meet you." Ashley placed her hand over Gram's and I got a little choked up. The two women who meant the most to me were finally meeting. The look on Gram's face was one of awe and admiration.

Gram was a big part of my past and helping me become who I am today. Ashley was going to be a big part of my future. The two of them meeting was having more of an emotional effect on me than I expected.

"I can already see the difference in Spencer with you here. She was not herself earlier. I could sense something was wrong and I was right. She told me she was missing something without you around. She felt her heart wasn't as full."

I blushed at Gram's comments. She was ratting me out.

"I am so thrilled that I can finally get to thank you in person for what you have given her. For putting the light back in those big blue eyes. Spencer has always been an amazing and beautiful women but since she fell in love with you all of the beauty has enhanced. Her smile, her laughter and of course the sparkle in her eyes. That's all you my dear. Thank you."

"Wow. I don't know what to say." Ashley admitted.

"Just say you're welcome." Gram giggled.

"You're welcome Gram. And Thank _You_ as well for all of the things you have given her over the years. She truly is an amazing woman and she says you were the example."

I couldn't stop blushing. These two were killing me. I interrupted finally.

"Okay enough about me. How are you feeling Gram?" I sat on the other side of her.

"I'm fine Spencer. You just left me a couple hours ago. I bumped my head Pumpkin, I'm not dying."

I shook my head at Gram and she smiled like a little kid.

"I'm perfect Spencer." She took my hand and placed it on top of Ashley's.

"I'm absolutely perfect."

The nurse came in to check Gram's vitals and give her some medication. I walked outside to the bathroom to rinse my face. Gram had made me tear up a bit. I could tell how happy she was that Ashley and I were there together. She was so upset for me when I told her what had happened. She didn't even care that Ashley was only 18 and my student. "You can't help who you fall in love with. Isn't that what they say? Love is love my darling. Anyone who says different is an ignorant, asinine, idiot." Gotta love Gram.

When I got back to the room I overheard Ashley talking to Gram.

"I'm really sorry I lied to you when we spoke on the phone. I didn't want to." Ashley said quietly.

"Oh my dear. I understand and I put you on the spot. For that I apologize." Ashley leaned in to hug Gram and I let the tear drop slowly from my eyes. I wiped it quickly. I was so happy.

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><p><em><strong>Please review. I ain't too proud to beg ;)<strong>_


	36. Chapter 36 Worth the wait

_**Part 2. Hope you enjoy ;)**_

_**This Chapter is Rated M (very very M ;)**_

**Ashley's P.O.V**

When we left the hospital it was pouring rain. You could barely see the parking lot.

"Spence give me the keys and I'll go get the car." There was no sense in us both getting drenched.

"No Ash it's fine we'll both go." She was fishing for her keys in her purse.

"There is no reason for us both to get soaked Spence. Just give me the keys." I held my hand out and she took it before running out into the rain with me in tow. When we finally got to the car she pressed me up against it.

"Spence when I said I couldn't wait to make you wet I didn't mean standing outside in the rain for no reason."

"This reminds me of our first dance and the first time I kissed you on your birthday." She held my face in her hands and leaned in, brushing her lips softly against mine. The rain falling hard on our faces.

"I'll never forget that day Spence. At least the good parts. I'm glad you finally realized you couldn't resist me." I smirked at her and she shook her head.

"I knew I wouldn't be able to resist you that day in the hospital which was one of the reasons I reacted the way I did. I think I fell in love with you that day."

"Really? You were so pissed at me." I even made her cry.

"Really. When I walked in on you singing to Alyssa my heart melted. I think that was the exact moment I fell for you."

"Wow. I wish I would have known that then." The following weekend was hell for me.

"I'm sorry." She said with a frown. The rain had let up a bit thankfully. We had been standing there for what felt like an hour and I was starting to get cold.

"Don't worry about it. You've more than made up for it." I pulled her hands up to my lips and kissed them.

"Now can we go? I'm freezing."

She wrapped her arms around me.

"Yes. Let's go. Maybe we can go somewhere and you can give me some more reasons to fall in love with you all over again and over again and over again." Her lips found mine once again and they moved hungrily and almost desperate.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" I asked as I quickly pulled away.

She didn't say anything she just smiled and opened the car door. I ran around to the passenger side a got in.

"Spence?" She was still smiling.

"Would you stop smiling like that, you're freaking me out."

She was about to put the car into drive when I put my hand over hers to stop her.

"Spencer look at me?" She finally looked over at me. This time the smile was more of a loving smile.

"I want to take you somewhere. I want to be with you." She finally said while stroking my wet hair.

"I'll go anywhere with you. I want to be with you too." I leaned in for a kiss and noticed her lips were freezing.

"Let's go so you can get warmed up."

"Only if you will be the one doing the warming up."

"I'll be your own personal blanket."

She smiled again. This time it was more of an anxious smile. Mine was matching hers. I could not wait to make love to her. I was a bit nervous because this would be my first time. Making love that is. This would be different. For once it wasn't just going to be about me and getting what I needed. I wanted to make her feel things she has never felt before. And I'm not talking just physically.

The short car ride was quiet. I texted Miranda at Spencer's request and told her we would not be coming home tonight. She responded with a "_About damn time…have fun, wink wink_."

We pulled up to a set of condos about 5 minutes from the hospital.

"Where are we?" I asked.

"My mom bought this place so she could be closer to the hospital when she worked there. She worked long shifts so sometimes she wouldn't even come home she would just stay here. I stayed here last night so I would be closer to Gram."

She opened the door and pulled me in. The condo was very modernly decorated. Hardwood floors with large area rugs. Black leather couches, glass tables. There wasn't a whole lot in it, probably because no-one was ever here.

"Why hold on to this place? You're mom hasn't worked in the hospital for years right?"

"I begged her to keep it. I used it a lot when I was in high school. It was like a safe haven for me. I didn't have a good high school experience." She started turning on lights and walked over to the thermostat turning the heater on. We were both shivering from our soaking wet clothes.

"What happened in high school?" I asked while I stepped behind her and pulled her into my arms to warm her up a bit. We were standing in front of a mirror; we looked so damn good together.

"I was a bit of a nerd believe it or not."

"Really? You were a nerd?" She has got to be kidding me.

"Yep. I was the smart, goody two-shoe. Never got into trouble because I avoided it. Never went to any parties, didn't join any sports or hang out with the cool kids. Which is why I never got invited to the parties. I was a bit of an outsider."

"I would have never pegged you for the nerd or an outsider. What changed that?"

"College." She laughed.

"My roommate at the dorm was a bit of a partier. A wild one. She kind of got me out of my shell. And I realized I missed out on a lot. So I started making up for it. Not in a bad way. She gave me a makeover and started pimping me out." She laughed again and then continued. "I had a boyfriend or two before I met Aiden. When I met him he completely changed my world. I was no longer that little awkward nerd I was in high school."

"I would have loved to have seen Spencer the awkward nerd. She's sounds hot."

She playfully punched me.

"So is Aiden the only one you've ever been with?"

"You mean is Aiden the only one I've ever had sex with?"

"Yes. That's what I meant."

"No."

"No?"

"The nerdy high school me sort of had a boyfriend. No-one knew about us. He was an outsider like me. We had lunch together and hung out after school but that was about it. Anyway we were friends and then one day we became friends with benefits." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"So you were a slutty, awkward nerd?"

"I would hardly call sleeping with one guy 'slutty'."

"Oh right. That was me." I chuckled.

"Can we please not talk about all of the girls you have been with?" She said turning around in my arms.

"No problem. Because you are the only one I want to be with now. You are the only one I have ever wanted to make love to. I love you Spence."

"I love you too Ash." I think I almost made her cry. She wrapped me up in a warm hug.

"Stay here. I'll be right back." She said pulling out of my arms and walking up a set of stairs.

I walked over to the couch and pulled the blanket off and put it around me. Then I sat down and closed my eyes for a second.

"Hey sleepy head. Wake up." I heard Spencer whisper in my ear. I must have dozed off. I looked up at her confused.

"Come on. Let's go get you out of those wet clothes." Now that's what I'm talking about. I literally jumped off the couch which earned me a chuckle from Spencer.

We walked upstairs and I noticed there were two rooms. I could see the glow from the candles before we even walked in.

"Wow Spence." She decorated the room with a few candles and even started a fire in the fireplace. I could already feel the warmth it was giving off. The old stereo in the corner was playing music quietly. I looked over at her and I don't think I had ever seen something so beautiful. She looked radiant in the soft glow of the candles.

"We can just go to sleep if you're too tired." Say what?

I turned around to face her completely and pulled her hands up to my face, kissing them gently.

"We can sleep afterwards." My lips left her hands and kissed her lips softly.

Her hands found my back pocket and she pulled out my cell phone. After turning it off she placed it on the dresser next to hers. Then she walked over to the phone on the night stand and unplugged it.

I guess she wasn't taking any chances with the interruptions.

She was standing directly in front of me. Waiting. Waiting for me?

She gave me a sexy smirk and dropped her hands to the hem of her shirt and slowly pulled her rain soaked shirt off. Then she reached around and unclasped her bra letting it fall to the floor. There was just enough light in the room and I could instantly see how hardened her nipples were. I couldn't move. I just stood there staring at her beautiful naked torso.

Her hands met the button of her pants and in slow motion she unzipped her pants and pushed them down her perfect, tanned, lean legs. She picked them up and tossed them on a chair.

Still I stood there motionless. The only part of me moving was my heart. It was about to beat out of my chest.

Then without taking her eyes off of mine she hooked her fingers around the top of her panties and slid them down her legs as slowly as she did the pants.

My eyes left hers and took in the sight before me.

"Beautiful" I whispered.

She smiled and raised her eyebrow.

I guess it was my turn.

My shirt was still fairly damp but I was no longer cold. I lifted it off with ease and threw it across the room. Spencer shook her head and smiled.

I was having a hard time with the clasp on my bra. My fingers were trembling slightly. I wasn't scared but I wasn't my usual confident self either. Okay maybe I was a little scared. I wanted tonight to be perfect and I couldn't even get my damn bra off. I was usually a pro at this. Spencer thought my struggles were amusing. She couldn't hide her little snickers.

Finally I got it unhooked and tossed it to her. She laughed.

I could see her eyes darken from the sight of my nearly naked body. I undid the button on my pants and slowed pulled the zipper down. They were literally stuck to me. Wet jeans are no fun. Once I finally got them off I quickly pulled my panties off. What happened to smooth Ashley?

When my eyes locked with Spencer's I saw nothing but desire. Something I had never witnessed before. I swallowed the lump in my throat and moved towards her. She met me half way and when our naked bodies finally met we both let out a moan before our lips reunited.

This kiss was slow and passionate and…different. There was no rush, no worry, and no hesitation. We both knew what was coming next and we both wanted it to be perfect. We wanted to take our time and savior every feeling, every taste, every sound.

She pulled away and held her hand out. I took it as she led me over to the bed. She sat down at the end and started scooting back while pulling me on top of her. I hovered over her. One leg on each side of her naked body.

As I held myself up on my hands above her I looked down at the display of absolute beauty below me. Spencer was so damn beautiful. Spencer naked, underneath me, in the candle light, there we just no words for.

The sound of rain pattering against the window and the beautiful song playing quietly from the stereo just added to the perfectness that was tonight.

_Heart beats fast,_

_Colors and promises,_

_How to be brave,_

_How do I love when I'm, afraid to fall.._

_But watching you stand alone,_

_All of my doubt,_

_Suddenly goes away somehow,_

_One step closer._

I couldn't take my eyes off of hers. Hovering above her while she looked up at me with so much want in her eyes was mesmerizing.

"What?" She asked with a smirk.

I shook my head. "Nothing. You are just so damn beautiful."

She instantly blushed and I chuckled knowing that I could still do that even at times like this.

_Time stands still,_

_Beauty and all she is,_

_I will be brave,_

_I will not let anything, take away,_

_What's standing in front of me,_

I gently traced the planes of her face and she closed her eyes. My lips followed the tracks of my fingers and finally landed on her waiting lips. Our tongues were tangled together in a matter of seconds. The desire taking over of our bodies and leaving us with no control. I finally lowered my body fully on hers and she moaned into my mouth when our naked bodies pressed against each other again. She opened her legs and I nestled my body in between her. It was my turn to moan when our centers touched and I could feel how wet she was for me.

_Every breath,_

_Every hour has come to this,_

_One step closer,_

The kisses were becoming hungry and all-consuming. She pulled away and kissed my nose.

"Tomorrow night you're taking me on a date." Huh?

"You had to tell me this now?" I chuckled.

"Well I don't want you thinking about it while we're about to make love."

"Oh ha ha. Very funny." She had to bring that up.

"You're never going to let me live that down are you?"

She shook her head and pulled me back down to her. Her hands were in my hair now. Gently tugging and nails scraping as she bit down on my bottom lip and then sucked it into her mouth.

As much as I loved kissing her I wanted to taste the rest of her body. I wanted to get lost in the warmth and soft scent of her skin. I wanted to discover and relish every inch of her. I left her mouth and kissed her chin and then the soft spot of her neck where I sucked gently then her collar bone where I bit down and then soothed over with my tongue.

The quiet little sounds coming from her mouth turned me on and urged me to continue. I moved lower and found her hardened nipple. I wasted no time taking it into my mouth. Swirling my tongue around it and biting down gently while my hand kneaded the other equally hard bud. Her hands were still in my hair and when my mouth hovered over the other nipple blowing air on it, her fingers dug into my scalp. She let out a deep moan and her body jerked slightly.

My experience was working out well for me. I knew exactly how to get a reaction out of the gorgeous woman beneath me. But this was different. It was Spencer's first time with a woman. It was her first time with me. I wanted to give her everything. I wanted to show her things she's never seen before and make her feel things she's never felt before. I wanted to make her beg for me to touch her and put her out of her misery but I also wanted to take it slow and learn every curve and nook and remember how she reacted to every kiss, nip, lick and bite.

My wet and hungry mouth descended down her trembling body. I reached her belly button and dipped my tongue in, swirling it around and causing her to squirm beneath me. My hands pressed her hips down to keep her from moving as I trailed open mouthed kisses down her abdomen. When I reached her center I just hovered over it, breathing in the delicious aroma of her arousal. I looked up at her and her eyes were half shut but were still on mine. My hands moved slowly down and pushed her legs open wider. I leaned down and kissed the inside of her thighs, nipping at the tender flesh. Her hands were now gripping the bed sheet and she was biting her bottom lip. My tongue left a trail of wetness from her thigh to her knee and then slowly back up. She shivered and jerked again. I slipped my hands up around her hips and placed my hands on her abdomen to keep her in place. I looked up at her, her chest heaving and her eyes dark as night. I slowly swept my tongue from the bottom of her slit to the top. Her head fell back and she let out a moan. It was so damn sexy. And she tasted so damn good.

"Spence, look at me."

She lifted her head and stared down at me. I repeated the motion never taking my eyes off of hers. She gasped and her eyes were fluttered open and shut.

I spread her fold with my fingers and plunged my tongue into her. She was so warm and felt exactly how I knew she would. She bucked into me and once again I had to restrain her with my hands pressed down on her abdomen.

"Ashleeey." She moaned.

"You taste so good baby." I licked my lips and dipped my head again.

My tongue swirled around her entrance and she started swearing and Spencer never swore so it was fucking hot and turned me on more. If that was possible. I had reduced her to a quivering mess. She had no control and that was exactly the way I wanted her.

I had been fantasizing about this moment since I had first seen her and I was not disappointed. She was perfect. Every inch of her.

I sucked her clit into my mouth and she swore again.

"Fuck. Ashley that feels so good." Her hands found my hair again, pulling softly.

My tongue began stroking her clit and between every few strokes I bit down softly on her clit and sucked it into my mouth. She was so wet and I didn't think she would be able to take much more.

I reveled in the fact that I was responsible for the sounds coming from her mouth as I made love to her with my tongue, teeth and lips.

"Ashley." Her voice rasped out between pants.

"Up here. Please." She begged.

I moved slowly up her body, kissing and nibbling on the way. She grabbed my head and pulled me into a hard kiss.

She moaned and gasped as I grinded my center into hers.

Her breathing was uneven and hard and her hands gripped the back of my thighs pulling me further into her. I could feel her wetness on mine and I was so close to a release myself.

"Ashley I need you." She whispered, her wet open mouth on my ear.

"What do you need baby?" I knew what she needed but I wanted to hear her say it.

"I need, I need to feel you inside of me." She was looking directly into my eyes. So much love and passion and desire. And I know she saw it in my eyes as well.

I kissed her lips gently and took her bottom lip in mine while my hand slid its way down between our naked sweaty bodies. I open her folds with my fingers. Her hot breath was no longer on me. I was pretty sure she stopped breathing. I pressed my lips to hers and I slowly slid two fingers inside of her. She let out a loud gasp and dug her finger nails into my back.

"You feel so fucking amazing Spence." I whispered into her ear.

She pulled my face towards her. Our foreheads touched.

"Please." She whimpered into my lips.

I pulled out slowly and then thrust them back into her. She began writhing below me as I started a steady rhythm. Gently pushing in as far as I could go and then slowly almost teasingly pulling back out. My mouth was hot on hers as she panted and gasped at every thrust.

Her body started to move in sync with my thrusts and I quickened the pace. She was biting her bottom lip so hard I'm surprised it didn't bleed. I started to curl my fingers inside of her when I felt her walls close in on me. She was so close.

"Ashley." She moaned out once again.

I watched as she threw her head back with a long drawn out moan. Her body arched and convulsed below me. I kept my fingers in her as she began to come down from her orgasmic high. I started kissing her neck and nibbling on her collar bone. When she finally relaxed I slowly pulled out of her. When I looked up at her I saw a tear fall from her eye.

I leaned down and kissed the tear as it stilled on her cheek. I didn't have to say anything and neither did she. We both knew for once what the other was thinking. I laid my head on her chest and she stroked my hair.

_I have died every day, waiting for you,_

_Darling don't be afraid, I have loved you,_

_For a thousand years,_

_I'll love you for a thousand more._

I slowly caressed her stomach and trailed a finger up her torso. She shivered under my touch. I was not even close to being done with her. I planned on making love to her all night.

"I love you Spence."

My fingers found her wetness again and gently rubbed her clit. Her back arched and she whimpered. I cut it off with my lips. She was moaning into my mouth as I continuously massaged and teased her center. After plunging my fingers deep into her I pulled out and brought my hand up to her mouth. She didn't hesitate to open her mouth and suck my fingers clean. I was so fucking turned on. I lowered myself quickly and instantly sucked her clit into my mouth, biting down softly on it and then licking and flicking it.

"Oh God." She said and then threw her head back. Her hips bucked forward and she was pushing herself up into me. I held her hips down and continued my assault on her clit.

"Fuck Ashley. That's feels so good. Don't stop. Please don't stop."

There was no way I was stopping.

Did I mention how hot Spencer swearing is?

Did I mention how good she tasted? I was in heaven.

When she was close I surprised her by sliding in two fingers. I started a pattern by licking and sucking and then thrusting, over and over again. She didn't last long after that. She quickly came screaming my name.

I was exhausted and laid my head down on her abdomen. She was still breathing hard, her stomach moving up and down fast.

I crawled up to her and kissed her gently. Then climbed off of her and snuggled into her neck with my arm around her. Her breathing finally went back to normal and she kissed my forehead.

"You are so amazing Ashley. That was..that was perfect." She still sounded out of breath.

I looked up at her with a cocky smirk and she shook her head. Then she lowered herself so she was face to face with me and on her side.

"I have never, ever felt like this. You made me feel things Ash that I didn't even know were possible." She caressed my face and I closed my eyes. " I'm glad we waited. Because right now in this moment, I know I never want to be anywhere else or with anyone else. This is what pure bliss feels like. And it was so worth the wait."

"I feel the same Spence. I want to make love to you all night. I don't think I am ever going to get enough of you." I reached up and moved some hair out of her face.

"I don't think I have any problems with that." She chuckled.

I lowered my hand and she grabbed it shaking her head.

"Not so fast." She said while kissing my knuckles.

"It's my turn."

_And all along I believed, I would find you,_

_Time has brought your heart to me,_

_I have loved you, for a thousand years,_

_I'll you for a thousand more._

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><p><em><strong>Reviews are welcome and I do enjoy honesty so please give it to me.<strong> _

**_Song:_**

_A Thousand Years- Christina Perri_


	37. Chapter 37Oh my Spencer!

**Thanks for the reviews. As always they were greatly appreciated. Hope you enjoyed the last few chapters. Writing smut is not my strong suit, so I am glad most of you enjoyed it ;)**

**AshIzAwesome-** Well I am glad you liked it considering you had to get up at 5am. Sorry to hear about your uncle. Thank you for reviewing**.**

**ashleyss27-** Lol. Thanks :)

**inviziblinc- **Thanks. I really a-fucking-ppreciate it. Lol.

**Sgarc12- **Happy that you got to do your happy dance. Lol. Sexy Spence? You may like this chapter too ;)

**snob**- Thanks dictionary .com

**kaysh123- **Well thank you and thanks for the review :)

**lesbefriends- **Lol. Another cold shower huh? I have a feeling you will like this one too then. Ahhh Spencer! Hope you have another pair of undies. LMAO ;)

**victorial117- **Oh no hun. There was a bit of winging it and a bit of nail biting. As I said, writing smut is not my strong suit. That is why you can't think too much, just let go. :) Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for the review :)

**hollymarie4- **I know I know. I made you wait 36 chapters. I'm sorry. lol. Glad you liked it. Here's another to make up for the wait :)

**Brucas4ever- **So happy you enjoyed it. Glad I waited to. Thanks for the review :)

**JayJayxo- **Thanks. lol. Here's another one for ya ;) Thanks for the review**.**

**Judelltar- **Speechless huh? Happy to hear that. lol. Thanks for the review :)

**momo0424- **Yeah the Carlin's are great...but she hasn't met Paula yet. lol. That will be in the near future. Lol. No epic words are needed. I appreciate any comments. Thanks :)

**FFReviews- **Thanks and yes..this chapter is all SPOV :)

**lisarichie- **Glad you liked :) Thanks for the review**.**

**noodles307- **You + your equations = a big goofy smile..from me. Hope it was worth the wait :) Thanks for being patient. And you're welcome for the 2 updates. Hope you enjoy this one.

**KairiM- **I'm totally feeling the love. Thanks and right back at ya. I really appreciate the review :) Glad you enjoyed it. *Happy Dance* away :)

**imaferrari- **Woohoo..glad you liked it. lol. Yes. It is Spencer's turn indeed ;)

**PurpleLover92- **Yeah I hated Glen on S.O.N so I figured it would be a challenge to make him likable. Gram and Ash will be just fine. I wanted to show another side of Ash, so I threw Jack in there. I was even a bit touched writing it. I don't know about Spashley kids in this one but IF I do a sequel it would probably include some. LOL there will def. be more chapters like that one. Like this one ;)

**CiCi20- **Glad you are enjoying the story. Thank you for reviewing, it means a lot. It will probably be more than a couple of chapters, I've got a lot of story left to tell. I don't know about a sequel yet. We will see**.**

**justuraveragegirl- **Glad you like both chapters. Thanks for reviewing**.**

**GreenPen85- **So happy to enjoyed it. And yes what could be better than ".." Lol. It's def. Spencer's turn. Hope you enjoy it. :)

**tbplrbr1-** Glad you loved. I know it took a while to get there. Thanks for being patient and for the review :)

**RandomMind- **I am glad I waited too. There was a lot of pressure to have them 'get it on' early on but I waited because I wanted it to be more realistic and at the right time. Happy you liked it. Thanks for the review.

**toni- **Thank you. Glad you were patient and enjoyed it. And as for that last bit...lol. I really appreciate that. I was extremely happy with the amount of reviews but a couple more wouldn't have hurt ;) I am just glad that people are reading and enjoying. Whether or not they review is their choice. Thanks again though :)

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><p>I own nothing but my imagination. I also own Miranda, Alyssa, Casey and Gram.<p>

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><p><em>This chaper is rated<strong> M. <strong>Very, Very, Very **M**._

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><p><strong>Spencer's P.O.V.<strong>

I quickly pushed her on her back and climbed on top of her. Her lips parted and she let out a gasp when our centers touched. After pulling her arms up over her head and pinning her down I leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was gentle but then turned hungry and heated. I removed my tongue from her mouth and trailed it down her chin, over her slender neck and then back up to her ear. She shivered underneath me.

"It's my turn to make you squirm." I whispered in her ear. After biting down on her neck and then soothing the tender flesh with my tongue I went back up to her ear.

"It's my turn to make you beg." I licked her ear and then sucked the lobe into my mouth.

"It's my turn to make your body ache with anticipation." I switched ears and repeated the motion.

"It's my turn to make you cum screaming my name." I pulled back and looked down at her. I don't know where the boldness came from but I kind of liked it. Being on top of her, making her whimper at just my words made me feel very much in control. It was empowering.

A mixture of surprise and desperation painted on her face. Her eyes went dark and she squirmed trying to let her hands loose from my grip.

"It's my turn to make love to you." I laid a gentle and passionate kiss on her lips.

Her body went limp as she finally relaxed her arms and surrendered herself to me.

I will admit I was a little nervous on the drive here and even when I started undressing. Of course I am downplaying that. I was extremely nervous. This would be my first time with a girl. And Ashley meant a lot to me, I didn't want to let her down. I wanted to be perfect. I needed to be perfect. I knew she would be amazing. And _OH MY_ was she amazing. The one thing I had on my side was that I was a girl. I knew what I liked. I knew what turned me on. I knew what was where. I could do this. I just had to stop thinking and go with it. My very beautiful and incredibly sexy girlfriend was naked and waiting underneath me. What was I waiting for?

I let go of her hands that I was holding onto above her head and very slowly raked my fingers down her arms. She shivered again below me, arching herself into me. My hands found her hard nipples and began to pinch them and knead them against my palms. I moved my body down and nestled myself in between her legs. I could feel how wet she was when my stomach pressed up against her center.

She smirked down at me "Only for you baby." It came out as a whisper and ended with a whimper.

Leaning my head down I slipped my tongue out and licked the tip of her nipple. She let out a quiet moan never taking her eyes off of me. I moved over and did the same with the other eliciting another moan.

I never thought in a million years I would ever be this addicted to another woman's body. I wanted Ashley more than I had ever wanted anyone. Like I had never wanted anyone. I wanted to touch and taste inch of her soft, tanned skin. The want and desire inside of me was flowing through me like lava.

As I moved lower to her extraordinary abs my mind shut off and my body took over. Just a little taste of the sweet skin of her stomach was enough to flip the switch. As I licked and sucked on every inch of the ink painted on her skin I lost control. And losing control felt so good…so freeing.

Leaving those perfectly sculptured abs I moved even lower. Kissing my way down, slipping a tongue out every other kiss. I could taste the saltiness and essence that was Ashley. The scent of her arousal was making me insane.

I had gotten used to being in love with Ashley. I had gotten used to kissing her and making out with her. However this, this was something completely new and extremely unfamiliar. I wanted her, every single part of her. As I found myself hovering over her center my thoughts came back to me. She is so beautiful, she smells so good. I love this woman. I need her. I can do this. I want to do this.

I looked up at Ashley once again. She smiled and the smile told me "It's okay."

I spread her legs further apart and I could see how wet she was. I dipped my tongue in to taste and instantly moaned. She tasted exactly how I knew she would. Incredible. Dipping my tongue in again I slid it up to her clit and took it between my lips. She jerked upwards and whimpered. Slowly I started a rhythm of licking and sucking and I was loving the reaction I was getting from her. She was a complete mess. She was writhing beneath me and mumbling words incoherently. Just as she had done I slowly slid two fingers into her never taking my tongue off of her. But once I was inside of her I could only focus on that. She was so warm and wet. She felt amazing.

"Spence. You feel so good." She groaned.

I started slowly moving my fingers in and out of her. She begged for more so I added another finger. I could feel her pulsing around my fingers. I could feel her tighten around them. I watched her. I watched her lips part. I watched her body arch. I watched her eyes shut. She threw her head back and moaned again, this time louder and needier.

"Oh God baby. Don't stop. Please don't stop." Why would I stop? Watching her moan, whimper, squirm and cuss as I touched her in every intimate way was becoming an addiction. An addiction that I welcomed.

She was close. She just told me. I found her talking almost out of breath very much a turn on.

I leaned down and took her clit into my mouth again sucking it gently.

"Fuuuuuck Spen-cer."

And that did it. Her body arched up into me. She gripped the bed sheets. Her mouth wide open as the orgasm ripped through her. She came hard and I pulled out my fingers and replaced them with my tongue. I could never get tired of this. Her taste was unique and amazing, almost intoxicating. Feeling bolder now I plunged my tongue deep inside of her. She jerked into me.

"Ooooh God."

I started sliding my tongue in and out of her. Slowly at first just to explore. Her moaning escaladed and she was almost riding my face. Her hands had found my hair and were pulling and pressing down. I quickened the pace as she started whimpering and panting hard. My hand found a neglected breast and massaged the hardened nipple.

She came again and I watched her chest heaving and her abs stretching. Her hands were gripping the bed sheet again and her knuckles were white. She lifted herself off of the bed and I plunged my tongue in one last time. She was so extremely wet and I couldn't help but lap up her cum.

I couldn't believe what I had just done. But it was amazing and I wanted to keep doing it. What had gotten into me?

Oh right, Ashley.

When she finally relaxed I slowly moved up her body. She greeted me with a loving smile and pulled me into her arms. I laid fully on top of her and rested my head on her chest.

This must be what heaven is like.

After we both caught our breath I slid off of her so I was laying in her side. My face in the crook of her neck, she leaned down and kissed my forehead. I was so tired I nearly nodded off but the feeling of wetness on my face startled me. I looked up at Ashley and her eyes were full of emotion, tears laying on both of her cheeks.

"It's okay baby." I reached up and smoothed away the tears and kissed her perfect lips.

"I'm sorry. I just..I don't know. God Spence, I'm just so happy." I moved some hair off her sweaty forehead.

"That was all just so overwhelming and…intense." Cupping my face she pulled me into a warm and soft kiss. "Wow Spence. You were…I don't have any words for once."

I smiled almost shyly. "Are you sure this was your first time with a woman?"

"Yes." I chuckled. "It was you Ashley. You have a way of bringing that out of me. I've wanted you for so long. Now that I have you, I wanted _all_ of you." And there's my shy smile again.

"Well you got all of me. That's for sure." She smirked and I know my face was beet red.

She laughed at my embarrassment. "Awe baby don't be like that."

She rolled over on top of me and whispered in my ear.

"You looked so fucking hot with your face between my legs." Her tongue was now on the shell of my ear and suddenly shivers ran down my spine.

"Nobody._ Nobody _has even come close to making me feel what you did Spence." Ugh. I hated the fact that she was with other girls, women. And a lot of them.

"Again can we not talk about the other women you have been with?" I pushed her off just enough so I could see her face.

"Forget them Spence. I have. You are the only woman I have ever made love to. I don't care about those girls. I never did."

"That doesn't make it easier." And I wish we weren't talking about them right now after we just made love.

"How about we do something to take your mind off of those other girls?" She read my mind.

"What did you have in mind?" I wiggled my eye brows.

"A long….HOT…. shower." Her hand starting trailing downwards.

After a pleasurable shower experience. Excuse me incredibly pleasurable shower experience. We were back in bed. Sleep came fast.

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><p>As I laid there in her warm arms I felt a wave of complete and utter bliss wash over me. I had never felt so happy, so loved, so… in love. Sure I felt those things with Aiden. But not like this. Not this strongly. Not this certain. I was 100 percent, absolutely, deeply, intensely, undeniably and uncontrollably in love with this woman. And I knew her love for me was just as strong.<p>

She shifted slightly and kissed my nose.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you with my deep thoughts."

"You didn't. I've been awake for a while. I was just too damn comfortable to move."

"We have to get up at some point." I groaned.

"Some point meaning sometime this afternoon right?"

"This afternoon?" I looked over at the clock. It was just after 8 a.m. I can't believe we were already up considering we were up to nearly 3.

"Did you have plans?" I asked her while lacing our fingers together.

"Yep. And they involve you and me, making love at least 2 more times, followed by another long, hot, extremely satisfying shower and then a nap."

I shook my head and smiled at her.

"As tempting as that sounds I have to get back up to the hospital. They might release Gram today. You want to come with me?"

"Absolutely. I can't wait to see Gram again." My heart just melted. I loved that she and Gram had a connection.

"You make me so happy." I caressed her face softly and she took my hand and kissed it.

"You make it easy." Awe, she's so sweet.

"I love you Ash." I can never say it enough.

"I love you too." Or get tired of hearing it.

"You know what would make me _really_ happy?"

"I have an idea." She started massaging my inner thigh and as much as I was ready for another round. There was something I wanted more. Crazy , I know.

"Yes that. But not right now." I pulled her hand off of my thigh. She pouted.

"What would make you _really_ happy Spence?"

"Pancakes. Lots of them." I was starving.

"Pancakes?"

"Mmmm. Will you make some for me baby?"

"Me?" Well I sure wasn't cooking them.

"Do you even have anything in the kitchen?"

"Yep. Dad brought over like 7 grocery bags full last night."

"I don't know Spence. You've already turned me into your sex slave. Now I have to cook for you too."

I laughed. "So you would rather have me cook them?" I looked at her like she was crazy.

"Good point. Just call me your personal chef." She gave me an ear to ear smile.

We reluctantly got out of bed and were now in the kitchen. I was sitting on top of the counter watching her cook.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was wearing nothing but a white tank top and her light blue boy shorts. Yep. I was definitely addicted to Ashley. I could start my own AA meetings. Of course the AA would stand for Ashleyholics Anonymous. I'm sure I could get some people to come. Ugh. I could not wait to show the world she was mine. Back off bitches.

Next thing I knew I was behind her and my hands were snaking around her waist.

"As my own personal chef I promise to give you daily raises if you promise to always dress like this while preparing my meals." I bit down on her shoulder, soothed the spot with my tongue then ran my tongue up to her ear. I faintly heard a gasp as her head leaned back into me.

"I had something else in mind." She shrugged. "But if this is what you like."

"Really? And what did you have in mind?"

"A chef's hat." She would look so cute in a chef's hat.

"And what else would you wear with this chef's hat?"

She turned around in my arms and started kissing my neck. When she reached my ear it was her turn to whisper.

"Nothing."

I pulled her into a long, hungry, hot kiss.

"I like your idea better."

"Mmmm. I thought you would. Now go sit you naughty ass down. Your pancakes are almost ready." She slapped my ass and winked.

I sat down at the table waiting patiently. Getting a good view of my girlfriend's perfect body as she leaned over to get something out of the fridge. As she reached into the cupboard to get a plate I caught sight of her sexy abs and started to get hot and bothered again.

What was wrong with me?

We had already had sex three times. Twice in bed and then in the shower. I had had more orgasm's in the last 12 hours than I could count and here I was imagining throwing her onto the counter and having a different kind of breakfast.

I was snapped out of my dirty but thoroughly pleasant thoughts by a plate being sat down in front of me. Awe, I had the most wonderful girlfriend anyone could ask for. She made me heart shaped pancakes with strawberries in them and whipped cream on the top.

"Awe baby these look really good. How did you know I liked strawberries in my pancakes?"

"I make it my point to learn everything about you Spence. I don't just ask _you _random questions." I knew she was up to something with my dad.

"I meant it, what I said earlier. You make me so happy."

"You make me happy too. You're stuck with me ya know?" She sat down on my lap and put her arms around me.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." She leaned in and kissed me softly.

Grabbing my hand she swiped some whipped cream with my finger and brought it to her lips. She slid her tongue out and licked the tip before taking my finger into her mouth.

"Mmmm. Almost as good as you." She moaned. I blushed.

She slid off of me and started walking away.

"Better eat your pancakes before they get cold."

She knew she had turned me. She just got up and walked away. She was not playing fair.

"Tease." I said just under my breath.

She just laughed and started preparing to make more pancakes.

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><p>We made it up to the hospital by noon and Gram was so excited to see us. We both gave hugs and sat down on her bed with her.<p>

She looked over at Ashley and then at me. Then at Ashley again and then at me. She looked like she was trying to figure something out. What was she doing?

Then finally a smile crept its way to her face. A full on, wide mouthed, kid on Christmas day smile.

"You two finally had sex didn't ya?" Oh goodness.

"Gram!"

Ashley just sat there next to me laughing.

Gram grabbed me hand and moved closer to me. "How was it?" She wiggled her eyebrows.

Oh boy! Gram might have hit her head pretty hard. But she was perfectly okay. She was Gram.

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><p><em><strong>Review please.<strong>_

_**Check out these stories by these very talented writers: Just Out of Curiousity- PurpleLover92, Saving Me- hollymarie4, If I Knew Then-Sgarc12. **_


	38. Chapter 38 The date

_**Thank you to everyone who is reading my story. I am so happy that you are enjoying it. Thank You to everyone who has taken the time to leave a review. It means the world to me.**_

**hollymarie4**- You're welcome for the shout out. It was well deserved.

**victorial117**- I think Miranda will be okay with Spencer. She has been very supportive of their relationship from the start.

**PurpleLover92**- You're welcome. Your story is awesome. "back of bitches" lol

**Sgarc12**- So happy you liked...no loved, the sexy Spencer ;)

**blueforu**- Thank you

**momo0424**- I am going to keep is short and sweet as well.. Thanx :)

**FFReviews**- Yes indeed..how will everyone else take it? Nah.. I wouldn't worry too much ;)

**kaysh123**- Happy I could make you laugh and smile..thanks for the review :)

**Rachel2020**- Well I hope you are not too much "out of words". I really enjoy your reviews. Hope the fingers are doing okay..Watch out for that reef ;)

**mcs314**- What else can I say? Thank you once again for your words. They really do mean A LOT :)

**GreenPen85**- Haha..so happy I could make you feel "Great" with my smuttiness. Another story? Hmmm..I do have a few ideas rolling around in my brain. We shall see.

**imaferrari**- Yes..they can finally be free.

**Brucas4ever**- More Gram in this one and def. more Spashley cuteness..enjoy :)

**Toni**- Thanks again. Which teacher/student story are you speaking of? Finishing this story is very important to me. I hate when a good story doesn't get an ending. It sucks. I know what you mean about writers quitting a story because of the lack of reviews...which is why I always review a story I am enjoying. It takes a lot of time and effort in writing a story..everyone should acknowledge that. Thank you once again for your support. :)

**noodles307**- First equations, now football references..what's next? lol.

**Lesbefriends**- Gram is a riot. She reminds me of an older woman I used to know. Which is where I got the idea. Not my grandmother but very close to it.

**Anni-** Lol. Hope you didn't fail your test. Thanks so much for the review. Now go study..after you read the update ;)

_**This is a short one guys..at least a short one compared to my usually long updates. Sorry. I should have another update for you by the end of the weekend. **_

_I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Alyssa, Gram and baby Jack are mine too :)_

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><p><strong>Ashley's P.O.V.<strong>

"Gram, Ash and I are not going to talk about our sex life." Spencer was still shaking her head. I was just sitting there laughing eternally. I'm going to let Spence handle this.

"So you're saying there is one huh?" Gram replied with the eye brow wiggles again.

I couldn't contain my laughter anymore and let a giggle slip. Spencer looked over at me with a glare.

"Don't encourage her."

"It's okay Darlings. You don't have to say a word. I can see it on both of your faces. You're both glowing. Not to mention the lack of sexual tension that was so obvious last night."

"Okay Gram, we had sex. Can we change the subject now?" Spencer's face turned red. Too funny.

Gram nodded. "Miranda came by earlier with your dad. She's grown into a lovely gal."

"Yes she has. She reminds me a lot of her brother." Hmm. Spence never said anything like that before.

Gram must have noticed my slight discomfort. She changed the subject again.

"So when ya bustin' me outta this joint? I ain't eating anymore of this slop they call food. And this bed is harder than a teenage boy peeking in a girl's locker room." I put my hand over my mouth to help hold in the laughter. She did not just say that. Yes she did.

"Gram! What is with you today?" Spencer's face is red yet again. I am surprised it doesn't just stay that color.

"I'm bored Pumpkin. I've got nothing better to do than find ways to embarrass you." Poor Spencer.

"I can see that. We'll get you out of here soon. I promise."

"Fabulous. I've gotta get some gardening done."

"Actually Gram. I wanted to talk to you about that. Dad wants you to come stay with him at the house."

"Nonsense. I don't need a babysitter. I'm going home." I could see where Spencer got her stubbornness and independence from.

"Gram do you think that's the best idea?"

"Spencer Marie, you will take me home when we leave this hospital. Understand?" She nodded.

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><p>Spencer dropped me off at the house on the way to dropping Gram off. She didn't know how long it was going to take to get Gram settled in and she didn't want Miranda to be stuck at the house especially since her dad would be at work all day. Miranda was sitting on the couch watching T.V. when I walked in the house.<p>

"Oh thank God. I have been bored out of my mind." She walked up to me and nearly squeezed the life out of me.

"Where's Spence?"

"She took Gram home."

"Oh I thought Gram was coming here?"

"She wasn't having it."

"She's so feisty. I love it."

"Yeah. She's something. She's amazing."

When we sat down on the couch Miranda turned and faced me. I knew what she wanted and she had the silliest grin on her face.

"Okay I will talk if you stop smiling at me like that." She chuckled.

"Okay, talk." She gave me her straight face.

I was about to but no words would come out. I just smiled my goofy, teenage girl in love, off in my own world, smile.

"That good huh?"

"What's with you and Gram? Yeah it was that good. I practically have no words for how good it was. Wow. Just Wow!"

"Wow?"

"Yep. Wow!"

For once in my life I was happy. So fucking happy and I wasn't scared. I wasn't scared that something bad was going to happen. Or that I was going to fuck it up. There was one thing I was worried about and that didn't have anything to do with my relationship with Spencer. That had to do with Alyssa. I thought about her all of the time. I felt bad for not being there with her right now. When I called to tell her I wasn't going to make it there this week she told me "Don't worry. I'm fine. Go get your girl."

When I called her earlier in the day she sounded good.

I didn't really believe in miracles but that didn't stop me from praying for one every day.

We sat on the couch and talked about Alyssa. Then we talked about her and Chris. They had been texting each other all night and she was missing him. Awe. I knew how that felt. I had spent 3 weeks away from Spencer and I was so miserable. Glen walked in about an hour later with baby Jack. He was carrying him in one of those baby backpacks on his back. He looked ridiculous and Jack looked too big for the backpack thingy.

"Well hello Ladies. Daddy's home." He winked at us and I made a gagging sound. "One of you wanna help me out?" I walked over and lifted Jack out of the pack and he smiled at me. I don't know what it was about this kid. I actually didn't mind holding him or talking to him or even singing to him. He was so adorable.

"So what are you two lovely ladies talking about?" He dropped his backpack and bags on the floor and plopped down on the couch.

"How amazing the sex with your sister was." I replied with a smirk while making funny faces at Jack.

"Ewe. Gross. So what's everyone doing tonight? I'm dropping Jack off at his mom's later. You guys wanna hang out?"

"Actually Spencer and I have plans. But Miranda here is free." She glared at me.

"What are you and Spence doing tonight?" Miranda asked.

"_I _am taking my gorgeous girlfriend out on a date." I said proudly.

"Oh Ash that's great. Finally you guys get your date. I'm so happy for you."

"Where are you taking her?" Glen asked grabbing Jack from me and planting a kiss on his forehead. He really did love that kid. It was kind of cute.

"Well that's where you come in handy. I need your help. I have no idea where to take her."

"No problem. I know the perfect place."

Glen and I talked for a little while. Miranda left us to call Chris. In that short time I learned some things about Spencer. Tonight was going to be amazing. I just had to make some calls.

Spencer got back around 5 and we left around 6 ish. Dinner was the first part of our date. Glen recommended a Mexican restaurant called El Charro's which had the best Mexican food around. Spencer was so happy. It was one of her favorite restaurants and she hadn't eaten there in years.

The first part of the date turned out great. Now on to the second part. Glen had told me a few stories about Spence and I had thought of the perfect idea. I just hoped Spencer liked the idea as much as I did.

"Ash this place has been closed for years."

We pulled up to the gate and suddenly two men were there opening it. I pulled through and of course the place was empty. I pulled into a parking spot furthest away from the big screen.

I got out of the car and walked over to her side. I opened the door and held my hand out. "Come with me."

She took my hand and I led her to the parking lot in front of us. I had a blanket laid out with some pillows, along with a brown bag and a cooler with cold drinks inside.

"Sit." I directed her to the blanket and sat next down next to her.

"Ash what are we doing here?" She was so confused.

"Patience my love." I caressed her cheek.

"What's with the fire pit?" She pointed towards the fire pit a few feet away from us.

"Part 2 of the surprise."

"What's part 1?" She was getting anxious. It was cute.

"I'll show you in a couple minutes but first I want to tell you a story." I turned towards her and reached for her hands which she gladly gave me.

She smiled at me and I started the story.

"So this is a short story about a little 7 year old girl who wanted nothing more than to see The Lion King at the local drive-in. She had never been to a drive-in and she was so excited when her dad told her he was going to take her there for her birthday. She talked about it for weeks and even slept with her little stuffed lion every night. Sadly , the night before they had planned to go see the movie she was rushed to the hospital. Her poor little appendix was about to burst and she had to have surgery to remove it. She spent the next few weeks in the hospital and no amount of ice cream, Jell-O, flowers, balloons or get well gifts could make up for her missing out on the movie that night. She cried nearly every day. To make matters worse, by the time she was released from the hospital the movie was no longer playing at the drive-in. The worst part was that she had to wait a couple months after that to see it when it finally came out on VHS. The little girl was heartbroken."

Spencer smiled softly through the tears that were slowly falling down her cheeks.

"And when I finally did see it, it just wasn't the same." She added with a quiet laugh.

"So you want to tell me what we are doing at this very much _closed_ drive-in?"

"Are you ready for your first surprise?" She nodded.

I grabbed my phone and sent out a text. A couple seconds later the big screen lit up.

She turned towards the screen and her eyes went wide. She faced me in confusion.

"Tonight. Just for tonight. It's not closed."

I motioned with my head towards the screen and her eyes returned to it.

_The Lion King _was displayed in big orange letters.

Her eyes lit up. She turned to face me again with her hand over her mouth.

"No." She was in shock.

"Yes." I replied with a chuckle.

"How?"

"It pays to have a famous rock star dad and a very big bank account."

"Oh Ash , I can't believe this." And there go the tears again.

"You are so amazing. I love you." She leaned in and cupped my face before drawing me into a long passionate kiss.

"Thank you" She whispered on my lips.

"You're welcome."

"Oh, on to the next surprise." I got up from the blanket and moved to the fire pit. After lighting the fire I went to my bag and grabbed out the the Jiffy Pop popcorn tin. I set it on the grates just above the fire and it instantly started popping.

"You can't go to the drive-in and not have popcorn." She gave me her full on, gorgeous, perfect teeth smile. You know the one.

"You know what else you can't not do at a drive-in?" She pulled me down to the blanket and straddled me.

"What?" I knew what she was doing and I wasn't able to stop her even if I wanted to.

"This." She pressed her lips to mine. It was slow and heart fluttering and just amazing. Like every kiss I shared with her.

"Spence we can't watch the movie and make out too." I didn't want her to miss out on the movie once again.

She pulled back. Her lips parted, her eyes almost begging. How could I say no to her?

"Uh. I guess we can do both."

Eventually she settled into me. Her back against my front. A bowl of popcorn in her lap. Every now and then she would turn her head and kiss my cheek. This night was turning out exactly how I had wished. Perfect.

We stayed there for a while after the movie was over. Enjoying what was left of the fire and the beautiful star filled sky that we didn't have the pleasure of seeing in L.A.

"Spence, what's with you and Disney movies?" I asked turning towards her. We were lying side by side on our backs.

"I don't know. I just love them." She turned towards me and kissed my nose.

"Fairytales about prince and princess' and happy endings?"

"Exactly." She replied scooting closer to me. I pulled her into my arms and she nestled into my neck.

"I've got my own fairytale with you, My Prince."

I laughed. "I'm no Prince Spencer. Definitely not a Princess either."

"You're my Prince. My knight in shining armor, my Prince Eric, my Prince Phillip, my Prince Charming¸ my Prince..Beast, my Aladdin, my Flynn Rider, my .."

"Okay Okay I get it. Wait! Did you just call me your Beast?"

She giggled. "Yep. My beautiful, sexy, gentle Beast." She kissed me again and then rolled on top of me.

"You're my fairytale Ash. And I know we will have a happy ending. We'll live happily ever after until the day we die." I enjoyed seeing this side of Spencer. It made me wish I knew her as a little girl.

"But not for a veeery long time." I added.

"Nope. We'll be old and grey and wrinkly."

"And I bet you'll still be the most beautiful woman I know."

"And you'll still move me with your words."

We shared a loving smile.

"Will you still love me when my abs turn to flab?" I asked her with my sad face.

She chuckled and nodded. "I'll still love you."

"What about when my hair starts falling out and I get arthritis in my fingers and can't play the piano or guitar."

"I'll still love you." She said again.

"What about…" She covered my mouth with her hand.

"As long as this never changes.." She held her hand over my heart.

"I'll still love you."

And with that my heart melted... again.

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><p>We drove back to the condo in silence. A very comfortable silence. I texted Miranda and apologized for leaving her alone again. She said it was no big deal. She was at a bowling alley with Glen and some of his friends. I was a bit worried but when I mentioned it to Spencer she said she would be fine. Glen would take care of her.<p>

We spent the entire night and the early morning re-discovering each other's bodies. Each time we made love it felt like the first time. Each time we would learn something new about one another. Every time I kissed her I knew those were the only lips I ever wanted to kiss again. Every time I touched her I knew I never wanted to touch another body again. And when I moaned out her name I knew it was the only name I ever wanted to leave my lips.

She fell asleep in my arms while I ran my fingers through her soft blonde hair. I adjusted myself so we were face to face. She was so beautiful when she slept. I know, so surprising. I kissed her nose.

"Spence?" She didn't answer.

"Spence?" She didn't answer again and I was sure she was asleep. I began to whisper to her even though I knew she couldn't hear me.

"I love you so much Spencer. I want to be with you forever. I know I'm young but I know what I want, and it's you. I want you. I want you to be my wife and I want to be yours. Marry me Spence." I was being silly but at the same time serious. I knew she couldn't hear me and she wouldn't respond but I needed to say it. To ask it. Even if it was just for myself.

Imagine my surprise when she whispered back. "Yes."

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><p>Review if you wish :)<p> 


	39. Chapter 39 The Way You Make Me Feel

Thank you everyone who left a review. I appreciate it. You guys really do inspire me and this story. A special Thank You to those who have been there from the start. I appreciate the support you have given me :) I am not going to give a certain amount of chapters but this story will indeed be ending soon..but not that soon. I do promise it will not be more than 50 chapters. For those who asked about a sequel. I would like to say yes but I'm really not sure. I have a few other ideas rolling around in my brain and would like to take a stab at those. Not sure about that though either. We'll see :)

**PurpleLover92**- AfreakingMazing :)lol. I do love The Lion King but Beauty and the Beast is my FAVE :)

**Toni**- Yeah I like all of the Disney movies if you didn't guess. lol. I like Twilight so I'll check out that fic. Thanks for the Thanksgiving wish. Chow! lol

**Kooks78**- WOW! lol. Thanks. Yeah Gram has a lot of fans. I love writing for her :)

**FriendlyGirl333**- Lol. I have said yes to all of the other proposals..why stop now ;) Thanks. It means a lot hearing that it is your fave story :)

**Rachel2020**- Awe..don't cry. I am happy that the last part effected you so much but I really hope you didn't cry..that much. lol. Ya know after I wrote that line "as long as this never changes" I got a bit choked up myself. I really love writing this story so hearing it meant something to you means a lot. Glad that your fingers are healing. :)

**kaysh123**- Thanks. I am glad that you are enjoying the humorous parts. I didn't know I could write 'funny' it just kind of happened. Don't try so hard. Just let it flow. And don't give up :)

**noodles307**- I totally get what you are saying. It is old fashioned but there's nothing wrong with that. And I won't ignore it. As always I appreciate your honest opinion. I hope you like this chapter :)

**momo0424**- Gram _is_ the shit. lol. Ashley is indeed a sweetheart. She's almost too good to be true. Almost ;)

**naranga87**- Welcome back my cheeky lady friend. "I love this story more than alcohol", lol. Why do I find that hard to believe ;)

**RandomMind**- Hope this chapter brings out your **happy dance** again :)

**hollymarie4**- Yes, Ash has come a long way since the first chapter. I hope that I did her gradual change justice.

**CoolGay**- Welcome back :) and thanks

**pati1996**- Thanks. It mean A LOT :)

**epikkk**- Lol. I try not to get too cheesy but I guess sometimes it can't be helped. More drama? Hmmmm, you will just have to read and find out for yourself ;)

Dedicated to the veeery impatient _**Scarsoflove73**_ ;)

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><p><em>I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Alyssa and Gram are mine too :)<em>

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><p><em>"Spence?" She didn't answer.<em>

_"Spence?" She didn't answer again and I was sure she was asleep. I began to whisper to her even though I knew she couldn't hear me._

_"I love you so much Spencer. I want to be with you forever. I know I'm young but I know what I want, and it's you. I want you. I want you to be my wife and I want to be yours. Marry me Spence." I was being silly but at the same time serious. I knew she couldn't hear me and she wouldn't respond but I needed to say it. To ask it. Even if it was just for myself._

_Imagine my surprise when she whispered back. "Yes."_

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><p>"Yes?" Did I really hear that?<p>

"Spence?"

"Spencer?" Nothing.

Either she is dreaming or I am hallucinating.

That was strange. Did she really hear me and subconsciously answer me. She is clearly not awake so I don't even know if that is possible. Would it really be that bad if she actually heard me? I did mean it with all of my heart. I do want her to be my wife. I do want to spend the rest of my life making her happy. I want to marry her. But I don't think I am ready for that at this point in my life. I don't even know what I am going to do about my music, my future. It is all so complicated right now.

I went on and on and on for almost an hour I think. I must have finally tired myself out because before I knew it the sun was peaking in through the curtains and Spencer was getting dressed.

"Where are you going?" I held myself up on my elbows.

"Sorry baby. Got a call from Gram and she asked me to pick her up some groceries. I won't be long."

"Spence just wait. I'll come with you."

"No. You stay here. Go back to sleep. It's early and I know you're still tired."

"It's okay. I'm fine." I scooted over to the side of the bed and let the blanket fall from me.

I noticed Spencer's eyes change. I walked towards her with a smirk. She was putting on her belt. I grabbed both sides of her belt and pulled her into me.

"Don't go yet. Come back to bed. Then we can shower and I'll come with you." I pressed my lips to hers and she moaned softly. Her hands were trailing up and down my bare back and I quivered.

"Gram needs groceries for breakfast. I have to go now. But I will be back soon." She pulled away and then started walking towards the door.

"Spence?" She turned around slowly. A strange look on her face.

"Are you alright?" I asked quietly.

"Yeah baby I'm fine. Just a little tired. I'll be back soon."

I nodded. "Okay. I love you. Tell Gram I said hi."

"I will. I love you too." She turned back around and walked out the door.

I sat back down on the bed and ran my hands through my hair. Something was off with Spencer. She seemed a little distant and hesitant. I couldn't help but wonder if I did something wrong. Maybe I was being too clingy. Maybe she just needed some time away from me. Maybe I am just reading things wrong.

I got off the bed and headed to the shower. I probably smelled. That's why she pulled away. Hmm. After the shower I called Miranda.

"Hey, how was bowling?" I asked her.

"Bowling was fun. I had a great time."

"I feel bad for practically abandoning you since we got here." I felt _really_ bad.

"Ash it's not a problem. You and Spence can finally be together and that makes me so happy. I am so happy for you guys. Yeah I have been really bored at times but I would rather be here than at home alone."

"Yeah but at least if you were home you could see Chris."

"He's been real busy this week anyway. He is working full time now at the shop because school is over and he is practicing with his other band for their show on Friday night. He barely has time to talk to me on the phone." She sounded so sad.

"Is everything alright with you two?" If he hurt her I was going to go straight home and kick the crap out of him.

"Yes is fine. He's just really tired when he actually gets a chance to call me. I told him to just go to bed but he said he can't go to sleep without talking to me first. Even if it's just for five minutes." That's actually kind of sweet.

"Awe. That's so sweet Miranda. He really likes you huh?"

"You're surprised? I'm hurt." She joked.

"No. I'm not surprised at all. You're amazing Miranda. You know that right?"

"Thanks Ash. You're not so bad yourself. So when are you guys coming over?"

"Um..I don't know. She went to get some groceries for Gram. Maybe we'll be over for lunch. If not then we will definitely be over for dinner. Do you want us to come get you and then we can do lunch and maybe some shopping?"

"No that's okay Ash."

"Well what are you going to do today?"

"Hanging out with Glen. I like spending time with him. He reminds me a little of Aiden. He's really protective and he makes me laugh. I miss having a brother and Glen makes it a little easier believe it or not."

"Really? Glen huh? Well I am glad that you two are having fun. I know how much you miss Aiden so I am happy that Glen can do that for you. What are you guys gonna do?"

"Oh, well he is taking me into the city for lunch and then we are going to go to a Tigers game. I haven't been to a game in a while so it should be fun."

"Tigers? Is that football or something?"

She laughed. "No Ash. The Tigers are a baseball team."

"Whatever Miranda. You know I don't follow sports. For all I know it could have been football."

"Ash it's Spring time."

"So what does that matter?"

"Never mind Ash. I gotta go get ready. Give Spence a hug and tell her I love her."

"Oh I plan on doing more than that."

"Gross. Give her a hug _for me_ Ash. I don't care what else you do."

"No problem. Have fun at the football game."

She laughed again. "I will. Love you Ash."

"Love you too.. _Randy_."

I started thinking about Spencer again and the way she acted this morning. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a distraction. I started cleaning. I cleaned the few dishes in the sink. Washed the counter and the table. Then I found some fresh sheets in the closet and changed the bed.

Still no Spencer.

I called my dad and talked to him for a bit and then I called Alyssa and we talked for a good half an hour. I promised her I would be home for the weekend and I would come visit. As I was finishing up the conversation Spencer walked in.

"I'll see you this weekend. Take care Alyssa." I set the phone down on the table and looked up at her. She had a strange look on her face again.

"Have you eaten? I can make us something?" I asked her.

"That would be great. I was waiting for you." I walked up to her slowly.

"How's Gram?" I took her hand,

"She's good. I brought her some groceries and helped her cook breakfast." I gave her a look and she laughed.

"Gram likes my cooking." She laughed. I felt a lot better hearing her laugh.

"Come on. I'm hungry." She let go of my hand and walked into the kitchen.

Something was definitely off with her.

"Spence what's going on?" I asked her. She was rummaging through the fridge.

"What? What do you mean?" She wouldn't even look at me.

I walked over and pulled her up and turned her to face me.

"What's going on?" She still wouldn't look at me.

"Spence please. You told me once that our relationship wouldn't work if we didn't talk. So talk to me please." She sighed and walked away again. This time she sat down at the kitchen table.

"I had a dream last night. I very, very vivid dream. We we're so happy Ash. We were on a beach at sunset." She smiled. "Making love in the sand. Waves rolling in and everything was so perfect. Afterwards we were just lying in each other's arms and.." She paused. I sat down next to her and took her hands in mine.

"You asked me to marry you." Huh? Was I dreaming too?

"You asked me to marry you and I without any hesitation said 'Yes'."

I looked into her wet, blue eyes and I saw fear. I hadn't seen that look in a very long time. It scared me.

"I'm confused Spence. Is that a bad thing that you said yes?"

She laughed quietly looking down at our hands.

"No Ash. I love you. I would love to be your wife and have you as mine. The problem is I would literally do anything for you. Even if I thought it was wrong." She paused and looked down at our hands again.

"When I am around you I always think with my heart instead of my head." She admitted.

"That's not true. If it were we probably would have made love a lot sooner." I smiled over at her and she gave me a small smile back.

"Okay maybe not all of the time. But you see Ash, I said yes when I should have said no. We are not ready for marriage. You, you just got out of high school and haven't even made any decisions about a career. I am 24 and already widowed and you are only 18 years old. I know we make each other happy and we love each other but marriage. That's a big step. A big step that we aren't ready for."

I kneeled down on the floor in front of her and pulled her closer to me. I rested my head on her chest. The scent of her skin and the soft beats of her heart were relaxing.

"I love you Spence. I'm sure I will love you 5 years from now and for the rest of my life. There's no rush. I want you to be my wife too but right now I am happy just to call you my girlfriend."

She let out a breath like she was holding it in.

"Ash." She whispered.

I looked up at her. So beautiful. I was so infatuated with her.

"Make love to me." She wasn't asking and I wasn't arguing.

I stood up and took her hand.

There was something different about the way she kissed me. The way she touched me. The way she held me afterwards. Everything was so passionate. It wasn't like the first and second time we had sex wasn't passionate but this time, this time everything felt 10 times stronger. Which of course, felt amazing. She felt amazing. We stayed in bed for 3 hours. I still could not get enough of her. I have a feeling I never will.

She was holding me tight. My head on her chest and my hands were around her back. I was thinking. I had been thinking for a while. I needed to tell her. I needed to tell her about last night.

"Spence, you awake?" I whispered just in case she was sleeping.

"Yeah. You okay?"

"I need to tell you something." I picked my head up from her chest and propped myself up on my elbow.

"Okay." She replied.

"I think I may have an idea why that dream seemed so real."

"Okay." She said again.

"Last night while you were asleep I sort of…_Isortofaskedyoutomarryme._" She looked at me with one eye brow raised.

"Say that again..slower."

I laid down on my back and threw my hands over my face. I wasn't embarrassed. But I wasn't sure how she would take my confession considering our talk earlier.

She moved closer to me and pulled my hands from my face.

"Ash. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I promise I'm not going to freak out or be mad."

I looked over at her and she looked nothing but sincere. I rolled back over and moved some hair out of her face letting my hand linger on her head. I pulled her in for a kiss.

"Ash. Tell me." She said when we pulled apart.

"I asked you to marry me."

Her eyes opened wide as well as her mouth. What's that phrase? Deer caught in headlights? Yep. That would explain her face.

"I was watching you sleep and you were so beautiful and I just started talking to you. Next thing I know I was telling you I wanted you to be my wife and asking you to marry me. I knew you were sleeping so you couldn't hear me but I just had to say it. I don't know why."

Her face went back to normal. Well not completely normal. Now she was looking at me with adoration. Her head tilted to the side.

"That's sweet Ash. So you were asking me to marry you and I was dreaming that you were asking me to marry you. That's crazy, right?"

"That's not even the half of it Spence."

"What do you mean?"

"You said yes."

She looked confused.

"You were sleeping but you clearly said yes after I asked you."

"I don't remember. I just remember the dream. Is it possible you asked me at the same time I dreamed you asking me?"

"I guess. Anything is possible right?"

"Are you sure you weren't dreaming too?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Last night was very real to me. When you said yes I was completely freaked out. Then I realized you were sleeping and I was kind of relieved but still a little freaked out that you answered me while you were sleeping."

We both laughed. Thank God _she didn't_ freak out.

"Wait. Why did you freak out, why were you relieved when you found out I was still sleeping?" She wasn't upset, just curious.

"I don't know. I mean I thought you were asleep and then you answered me. That was a little freaky. I was relieved because I guess I knew we weren't ready for marriage either. I asked you to marry me knowing you were asleep so I guess I really didn't mean it. I do love you and I want to marry you. Someday."

"Well thanks for the proposal anyway." She said and then kissed my lips softly.

"Thanks for saying yes." I kissed her back.

She laughed. "You're welcome."

"Spence?"

"Oh boy. What now?" She laughed again.

"I'm starving."

"For food I hope because I am exhausted."

It was my turn to laugh. "Yes food. Even though I'm pretty sure I could go for seconds or thirds of what you're serving."

"Maybe later. I'm going to cook you something." She kissed me on the forehead and rolled out of bed. Damn! My girlfriend had such an amazing body. She put a robe on and walked out the door shaking her head at me.

Later that night after dinner at Mr. C's restaurant (which was fantastic) we decided to meet Miranda and Glen at this karaoke bar in Detroit. It was an all ages bar, you had to wear a yellow bracelet to drink. They were waiting for us when we got there and I couldn't help but laugh at them we saw them. They were dressed for the game I suppose. They were both wearing Tigers jerseys and hats and Miranda even had one of those foam fingers except it wasn't a foam finger it was a foam paw.

"Don't laugh Ash. Glen said I couldn't go to the game unless I actually looked like a fan."

"Is that my jersey?" Spencer asked.

"Yes, and your hat too. But this paw is mine so back off." We all laughed.

We found a table and ordered drinks. Miranda and I ordered Cokes, Glen ordered a beer and Spencer ordered a Jack and Coke. I was surprised. It didn't take me long to realize that Spencer didn't drink that often. The only other time I saw her drink was when she first saw me perform. I know she was extremely nervous then.

I was even more surprised when she ordered her 4th.

"Spence, you okay?" I placed my hand over hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Yeah why do you ask?"

"No reason." I didn't want her to think I was judging her. Maybe she was just trying to unwind. I could find a better way for her to do that. If you know what I mean.

We were having a good time but the singing was horrible. I was almost tempted to go up there and show them what a good singer sounded like. In fact I was about to but stopped when they called Spencer's name. What? Huh? Spencer was going to do karaoke? Again, huh? What?

She looked over at me and smiled.

"What are you doing Spencer?"

"It's about time someone sang to you baby. I'm not the greatest singer in the world. Okay , I can't sing at all." She laughed.

"Then why are you going up there to sing? I appreciate it baby but you don't have to."

"You're always doing such amazing things for me. I want to do something for you." She kissed me gently and then started walking towards the stage.

"Are you seriously going to let her sing?" Miranda asked me. Glen just snickered into his beer bottle.

"I guess I am. How bad is she?" They both laughed.

Great.

She was standing in front of the microphone. Guys were hooting and hollering. I couldn't blame them. She looked sexy as hell up there. She was wearing blue jeans and a black spaghetti strapped blouse. Her hair was down and her eyes sparkling. She looked like an angel. She looked nervous. I felt bad for her. What was she doing?

The music started and I instantly recognized the song. The Way You Make Me Feel by the one and only Michael Jackson. Spencer was a huge fan of his music.

She sang out the first line and I couldn't help but smile. My baby was up on stage singing to me. I was so lucky.

_Hey Pretty Baby With The_

_High Heels On_

_You Give Me Fever_

_Like I've Never, Ever Known_

_You're Just A Product Of_

_Loveliness_

_I Like The Groove Of_

_Your Walk,_

_Your Talk, Your Dress_

_I Feel Your Fever_

_From Miles Around_

_I'll Pick You Up In My Car_

_And We'll Paint The Town_

_Just Kiss Me Baby_

_And Tell Me Twice_

_That You're The One For Me_

_The Way You Make Me Feel_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_You Really Turn Me On_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_You Knock Me Off Of My Feet_

_(You Knock Me Off Of_

_My Feet)_

_My Lonely Days Are Gone_

_(My Lonely Days Are Gone)_

Everyone in the bar was clapping along to the beat. I couldn't get the goofy grin off of my face. I was so proud of my baby. She was up on the stage singing her little heart out. She didn't have the best voice but she was still amazing. After the first couple lines the liquid courage must have took over. (That explained the 4 Jack and Cokes and the shot she took right before she jumped on the stage.) She was moving all over the stage but her eyes never left mine.

_I Like The Feelin' You're_

_Givin' Me_

_Just Hold Me Baby And I'm_

_In Ecstasy_

_Oh I'll Be Workin' From Nine_

_To Five_

_To Buy You Things To Keep_

_You By My Side_

_I Never Felt So In Love Before_

_Just Promise Baby, You'll_

_Love Me Forevermore_

_I Swear I'm Keepin' You_

_Satisfied_

_'Cause You're The One For Me_

_The Way You Make Me Feel_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_You Really Turn Me On_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_You Knock Me Off Of My Feet_

_Now Baby_

_(You Knock Me Off Of_

_My Feet)_

_My Lonely Days Are Gone_

_(My Lonely Days Are Gone)_

_Go On Girl!_

_Go On! _

_Go On Girl!_

She was really getting into it. Damn she was sexy.

_I Never Felt So In Love Before_

_Promise Baby, You'll Love Me_

_Forevermore_

_I Swear I'm Keepin' You_

_Satisfied_

_'Cause You're The One For_

_Me . . ._

_The Way You Make Me Feel_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_You Really Turn Me On_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_You Knock Me Off Of My Feet_

_Now Baby_

_(You Knock Me Off Of_

_My Feet)_

_My Lonely Days Are Gone_

_(My Lonely Days Are Gone_)

She slid off the stage and walked towards our table. Uh oh!

_The Way You Make Me Feel_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_You Really Turn Me On_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_You Knock Me Off Of My Feet_

_Now Baby_

_(You Knock Me Off Of_

_My Feet)_

_My Lonely Days Are Gone_

_(My Lonely Days Are Gone)_

She sat down on my lap. Everyone turned to look our way. I'm sure you can guess what the guys were hollering.

_Ain't Nobody's Business,_

_Ain't Nobody's Business_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_Ain't Nobody's Business,_

_Ain't Nobody's Business But_

_Mine And My Baby_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_(You Knock Me Off Of_

_My Feet)_

_Hee Hee! Ooh!_

_(My Lonely Days Are Gone)_

_Give It To Me-Give Me_

_Some Time_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_Come On Be My Girl-I Wanna_

_Be With Mine_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_Ain't Nobody's Business-_

_(You Knock Me Off Of_

_My Feet)_

_Ain't Nobody's Business But_

_Mine And My Baby's_

She kissed my cheek and then started walking back to the stage. Singing the entire way.

_Go On Girl! Aaow!_

_(My Lonely Days Are Gone)_

_Go On Girl!_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_(You Knock Me Off My Feet)_

_(My Lonely Days Are Gone)_

_Give It To Me-Give Me_

_Some Time_

_(The Way You Make Me Feel)_

_Come On Be My Girl-I Wanna_

_Be With Mine_

_(You Really Turn Me On)_

_Ain't Nobody's Business-_

_(You Knock Me Off Of_

_My Feet)_

_Ain't Nobody's Business But_

_Mine And My Baby's_

The song ended and she got a standing ovation. After bowing and thanking the crowd she jumped off the stage and headed back to us.

I didn't let her walk the entire way. I met her in the middle, picked her up and spun her around. When I sat her back down she kissed me hungrily and I kissed her back with so much passion I thought my heart would explode.

"I can't believe you did that. Do you know how much that meant to me?"

"Hopefully as much as what you did the other night meant to me."

I shook my head.

"More."

"Huh?"

"It meant more. You put yourself up on that stage, somewhere you have never been, doing something you have never done before. For me. I know you were nervous and possibly even a bit scared but you did it anyway. For me. You're amazing Spence. Crazy but amazing. I love you."

I kissed her again.

"How bad did I sound?" She gave me an unsure smile.

"You sounded beautiful." She shook her head scrunched her lips.

"You're full of shit, but thank you."

I picked her up and spun her around once more.

"Uh Spence." I faintly heard Glen call her name.

"Spence." He was a little louder this time.

"What?" We both answered loudly.

He motioned towards the door with his head. We both whipped our heads around.

"Oh shit!" That was Spencer.

"This isn't good is it?" I asked.

"No. This is very bad."

"Yeah. I assumed that much."

They started walking towards us. One with an apologetic smile the other one with a look of sheer and utter disappointment.

"Fuck." I mumbled under my breath.

"Hey dad." Spencer reached out to hug her dad. I vaguely heard him whisper "Sorry."

"Mother. It's good to see you."

If looks could kill I would be six feet under.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Don't be shy..leave a review. Good or bad I would like to hear your thoughts :)<strong>_

_**Song:**_

The Way You Make Me Feel- Michael Jackson.

Check out every story by the great **_orangestipes66_**. Amazing!


	40. Chapter 40 Oh Mama!

_**Sorry it took so long. Peace and quiet is hard to find at times.**_

**Thanks for the reviews guys. As always they are much appreciated**.

_**HIsland429**_- Lol..no Jesus camps I promise.

**_TwittyArg_**- Well thanks so much for reading it even though it is not your first language. Must be quite hard. So glad you are enjoying it. It will have to end at some point but I will write another one. Just not sure when. Thanks so much for the review.

**_luvmeh8meucan'tchangeme_**- Thanks and thanks for reviewing. BTW love your username :)

**_Lilmac45_**- Glad you are enjoying. Thanks for the review :)

_**Wow 40 chapters. Never thought this story would make it this far. Thank you all for the support. 3**_

_This chapter is dedicated to my** cheeky lady friend ;)**_

_**I own nothing but my crazy imagination and the extremely awesome Gram, Miranda, Casey and Alyssa**_

_**Rated M **_

* * *

><p>"Mother it's good to see you." She hugged the older blonde woman and she hugged her back but her cold eyes never left mine.<p>

"And you are?" She turned to ask me as soon as she pulled out of Spencer's arms.

"It's nice to meet you Mrs. Carlin. I'm Ashley, Ashley Davies." I stood tall and reached out my hand.

It surprised me when she took it and I shook her hand firmly.

She was still looking at me with her cold and murderous eyes. I tried not to gulp but it came anyway.

She wouldn't let go of my hand and I was starting to freak out. She tightened her grip and I winced.

"Mother when did you get home?" Spencer asked. Her mother never looked away but she did let go of my hand. I held it in my other hand, surprised that it wasn't broken.

"Well I was in Chicago for a meeting. I was set to come home next weekend but I heard my daughter was home so I cut my time in Chicago short." Lucky us.

"So Ashley, Ashley Davies can you explain to me what it is I just walked in on?" Oh shit!

"Mom maybe we can talk about this at home." Spencer tried to get her mother's attention but she wasn't looking away from me.

"Spencer you have decided that you don't need to tell your mother what is going on in your life so don't try to start now. I am asking Ashley."

"Uh." Shit.

She smirked. The bitch smirked. I shouldn't say bitch because I barely know her but she just smirked at me, probably sensing that I was intimidated by her. I was more than intimidated. I was about to pee my fucking pants.

"Paula why don't we go home and then we can all chat over some coffee and tea." Thank you Mr. C.

"Or liquor." She whispered when she finally turned away. She didn't say anything else. She just started walking towards the exit.

"So that's your mom huh?" I asked a nervous looking Spencer.

"Yeah. I'm sorry Ash."

"Why?" I laughed. "Because your mom almost made me pee my pants?" I don't know what it was about her but damn was I almost terrified.

"She's not that bad….most of the time." Glen said putting him arm around my shoulder.

"We should go. I want to get this over with." Spencer grabbed my hand and we walked out of the club.

It was about a half hour drive back to the house. For the first 10 minutes it was silent. Spencer turned the radio up when we got into the car. I don't think she wanted to talk.

Finally I turned it down and turned to face her.

"Sooo, how do you think she is going to take the news?"

"I don't know and I don't know if I'm ready to find out." She replied without taking her eyes off the road.

"It can't be that bad."

"You don't know my mother." I don't think I want to either.

"That's because every time I bring her up you don't want to talk about her or you change the subject."

"My mother is a complicated woman. I would rather not try to explain her." Uh does she remember my mother? Okay my mother wasn't complicated. Just a bitch.

"Try. Please. I would like to know at least a tad bit of what I am going to be confronted with when we get to the house." Like whether or not I should grab the tire-iron out of the trunk for protection.

She sighed and then ran a hand through her hair.

"My mother and I haven't been close for years. Since I was about 16 to be exact."

"What happened?"

"I found out she cheated on my dad. Turns out she had been for a while and he even knew."

"What?" Can I call her a Bitch now?

"I guess they, they fell out of love and _she_ didn't want to try again so they separated but had no plans of divorcing."

"Why not? Why not just get divorced? Did they stay together for you kids?"

"Yes and no. My mother was raised catholic and divorce is prohibited."

"And cheating isn't?"

She laughed. "I guess my mother has her own beliefs. But no-one outside the family knows about her infidelity so she just continues to act like the perfect wife. The perfect wife who is never home."

"What about your dad?"

"He believes that one day they will find their way back into each other's hearts. That one day she will find herself again. She'll become who she used to be when they first fell in love."

"Until then, what? He just lives a lie. Alone." I felt really horrible for Mr. C.

"I don't know. He's loyal. Whether she deserves it or not." Sounds like someone else I know.

"So tell me the truth…is she going to pull me out of the house by my hair when she finds out?" For some reason that image was repeating itself in my head.

She laughed again. "No probably not."

"But don't worry, if she tries I'll protect you." She placed her hand over mine and gave me an adoring smile. I wasn't worried. Nothing could touch us. Nothing and no-one. Not even Spencer's crazy-scary mother.

When pulled up to the house right behind Glen. He pulled Miranda upstairs to play video games. I was so happy that she made a connection with Glen. It was so sweet.

We walked into the living room and my heart stopped for a minute. This is it, I told myself.

She was sitting on the couch and he was sitting on the arm right next to her. I noticed the small glass holding an amber liquid. Scotch maybe. She was spinning it slowly in her hands. When we walked in her eyes followed me and once again she was glaring at me. Spencer definitely takes after her father. Even when Spencer glared at me her eyes were warm and inviting. Paula's were empty and rejecting and just plain frightening.

We sat down on the couch across from them. When I looked up she cleared her throat and finally looked away.

I was done being intimidated. I had to show her I wasn't scared of her. Even though I clearly was.

"So does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?" She asked finally looking at Spencer but then returning to me.

"Ashley is my girlfriend mother. What you walked in on at the bar was me …kissing my girlfriend." Wow. I didn't expect her to just blurt it out. That's my girl.

Paula's eyes were now open wide. Her mouth slightly parted. She raised the glass of scotch to her mouth and downed it in one long pull.

She then handed the glass to Mr. C. "I'm going to need more."

I felt Spencer's warm, soft hand slide into mine and couldn't stop the grin that no doubt spread across my lips. Take that dragon lady.

"Spencer. I don't understand. You are not gay." Ha. Could've fooled me.

"Mother _you_ don't understand. This is who I am. This is who I love." She looked over at me and smiled.

"Since when? What about Aiden? Did you even love him?" She was now standing up and a little too close for my liking. Where's that damn tire-iron?

"Of course I loved Aiden. I will always love him. But he's gone. And I have moved on with my life. I didn't expect this but it happened and I am so thankful that it did. I'm happy mother. So unbelievably happy."

I squeezed her hand. She gave me another Spencer smile.

"What am I supposed to say to this Spencer?" She sat back down and sighed.

"You don't have to say anything. It doesn't matter. Nothing you do or say could have any effect whatsoever on what we have. We love each other wholeheartedly and that's not going to change." Awe. I love her so much.

"So it doesn't matter to you what _I_ think? Or how _I_ feel?" Her voice was a little shaky.

"No it doesn't. If you wanted a daughter that cared about how you felt and what you thought then you should have been a better mother. One that I could respect. But we all know that your job has always come first. You haven't been part of my life because you chose not to be. Luckily I have Gram and an amazing father." She shared a quick look with her dad that showed the obvious appreciation that they had for each other. Instantly I thought of my dad and how much I missed him.

"I can't believe this. My only daughter, my little girl …" She raised her voice.

Spencer interrupted her. "I'm not a little girl anymore and I haven't been_ your _little girl in very long time." Spencer's voice lowered and cracked at the last part. I squeezed her hand.

I saw something change in her mother's face. A look of sadness, guilt, confusion, regret.

Mr. C. finally handed her the glass of scotch and she downed it just as fast as the first one. Then without so much as a word she stood up from the couch and walked out of the room. The steps creaked as she walked up them and then we heard a door slam.

"Well she took that better than I thought she would." Spencer said looking over at her dad.

"Yeah, she did." He agreed.

"You think I was too harsh?" I know it was hard for her to say those things to her mom and I was shocked to hear it. It's no wonder she didn't ever want to talk about her.

"No, she needed to hear all of that Spence." He started walking towards us and she stood up to meet him. They pulled each other into a hug and he whispered "I'm so proud of you."

When they pulled apart they both turned to me and held out their hands. I took them and suddenly I was engulfed in a three way hug.

"So how about that tea?" Tea actually sounds good, with a nice shot of whiskey. I'm still shakin' in my boots a bit. Mama Carlin can be one scary woman.

After tea with Mr. C. and a quick stop at Gram's we headed to the condo. It was nearly midnight but neither of us was ready to call it a night. We both had had a stressful day and I decided to run a warm bath for us. I got in first and scooted back so Spencer could sit in front of me. I still was not used to getting to see her perfect naked body and my reaction caused her to chuckle.

"Are you ever going to stop looking at me like that?" She said while stepping into the tub and lowering herself in between my legs.

"Nope." When she was finally settled I kissed her cheek.

"Good because I love the way you look at me." She turned her head and kissed me softly on my lips. I moaned quietly into her mouth. Her warm lips were on mine, her back pressing into my front, I was so fucking lucky.

"You were amazing tonight Spence."

"Oh yeah. When? When I was serenading you or when I told my mother I couldn't care less what she thought?" She snorted.

"Both times. I was so surprised when you got up on that stage and to be honest a little scared too." We both laughed. "But you rocked that stage baby."

"It really does mean a lot what you did. No one has ever done anything like that for me. Thank you Spence." I kissed her cheek again.

"Awe. You're welcome Ash. I was pretty nervous at first but I think the 3 drinks helped."

"Uh try 4 Spence and don't think I didn't notice you down that shot before you jumped on stage."

She laughed again. I don't think I could ever get tired of hearing that sound. Which was a good thing considering I planned on making her smile and laugh for….ever.

"It was worth it Ash. To see you smile. It was all worth it. Including the part with my mother."

"Spence I really thought your mom was going to kill me. If looks could kill…yikes." I will never fully get the look on her face out of my mind.

"She just likes to intimidate people. She's harmless." Yeah, about as harmless as a lion on the prowl and I think I would rather face the lion.

"So what now?" Paula was probably planning my murder by now.

"I don't know. She'll either accept me as who I am and my relationship with you or she won't. If she doesn't than I guess she is completely out of my life." Her voice cracked again.

"I'm sorry Spence." I knew I shouldn't be but I was.

"I'm not and you shouldn't be either. I love you. I'm so happy that your cocky and may I say very sexy ass decided to grace us with you wonderful presence that day in class. I just knew you were going to be trouble. Not because of what I had heard about you but by the way you were looking at me."

"Yeah well I knew I was in trouble when you put those damn glasses on. I wanted to throw you up on the table in the library and have my way with you." Among other things. Many, many other things. Hey, get your mind out of the gutter.

"You were so intriguing to me and so very adorable." Oh no she didn't.

"I AM NOT adorable." I pinched her side and started tickling her. She wiggled and squirmed and then finally jumped out of the tub. I followed and suddenly we were standing in front of the sink, our wet and naked bodies almost touching.

I took her hand and pulled her into me. Our suddenly hard nipples were touching and we both let out a moan.

"I still have the note you know."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yep."

"You had a good laugh that day huh?" I pressed her up against the counter and ran my hands slowly up her back.

"Walking up to my desk, bending over to write on my paper, getting close enough that I could smell your shampoo. That wasn't fair ya know."

"It was cute. You even stopped breathing for a minute." She chuckled.

"I am not cute or adorable or any other word you can find in the thesaurus relating to those horrible words." I leaned forward and laid a few soft kisses on her neck and and licked up the water that still rested on her skin.

"You are cute and adorable and beautiful and ohhh.." I enjoyed the way I was affecting her.

"…so fucking sexy."

Oh God. Does she realize what she does to me when she swears?

"Spence, you just said 'fucking'."

"I know Ashley." She said while giggling.

"Say it again." I whispered in her ear before licking slowly up it. She shivered and then pulled my face towards her to whisper in _my_ ear.

"My girlfriend is so incredibly _fucking_ sexy."

In an instant my mouth was on hers and my hands were on her behind lifting her onto the counter top. My hands left her perfect ass and started moved down her thighs. I held on tight to her and pulled her further into me causing our already wet centers to touch.

"Oh God." Spencer moaned out. She wrapped her arms around my back to hold us together.

I started rocking my body slowly into hers. The wetness from both of us was making it easy for our centers to glide over one another.

"You feel so good Spence. So fucking good." I had never had sex like this and couldn't believe how amazing it felt as our clits touched and pressed together.

I started rocking harder and faster. It wasn't going to take either of us long. I was so close already and so was Spencer. I gripped her legs tighter and grinded against her even harder. She gripped the edge of the counter and started spewing out more cuss words which just encouraged my thrusts. We both moaned and whimpered and gasped and panted until we both came fast and hard.. Together. I had never felt such a powerful orgasm. The explosive wave of pleasure flowed through my entire body.

Spencer fell backwards after the last ripples of her orgasm passed. Mine lasted a little longer and then finally my knees went weak and I collapsed partially on top of her.

"Wow! I..I..God Spence that was … amazing." I was out of breath and completely spent.

She kissed the top of my head. "It's been amazing every time with you Ash. I never knew sex could be this pleasurable." Wow. Aiden must have been a dud in bed. Pfft. Men.

"So the others were bad huh?" I asked and she shook head smiling at me.

"No. They weren't bad. You are just much better. Much, much better."

I looked up at her and smirked. Of course I smirked. She pretty much just admitted I was the best sex she ever had. But hey I'm Ashley Davies. And I know I'm good.

"Put that smirk away Davies."

"I'm that good huh?" I just wanted to hear her say it again.

"Yes. But you already knew that."

"Yes I did but it never mattered so much as it does coming from you."

"Why's that?"

"Uh because I kinda plan on spending forever with you and I don't want you to get bored with me." I admitted quietly.

She sat up and I was forced to stand up. Taking my face in her hands she looked into my eyes. "I could never get bored with you Ashley Davies." Her lips pressed against mine and then my forehead.

"C'mon. Let's go to bed." She said while sliding off the counter. And of course I followed her.

We fell asleep quickly. It had been a looong day.

I woke up around 6 a.m. with a grumbling tummy. I needed food. After kissing sleeping beauty on the shoulder I slid out of bed and headed for the kitchen. A half an hour and 2 bowls of Corn Pops later I made my way back to bed. I was still hungry but I thought it better to wait for Spence to eat a real breakfast.

She was lying face down with the sheets only covering her from the waist down. Her blonde hair was scattered everywhere and slightly covering her face. I laid down close to her, my face just inches from hers. My hand reached out to move the hair out of her face. She really was the most beautiful creature ever created. She took my breath away just looking at her.

"Spenceeeer." Nothing.

"Hey baby wake up." Still nothing.

I leaned in and kissed her on the lips. And nothing.

She was breathing so I knew she was still alive. Obviously she was exhausted but we were supposed to be picking Gram up around 9 a.m. to take her for a check-up.

"Spence baby. Wakey, wakey, eggs and bac-ey" Wow. Even my lameness wouldn't wake her.

I knew what would though.

I moved her hair off of her back and slipped my tongue from the base of her neck slowly down her spine and stopped just above her waist. She stirred and shivered.

"Ash, what are you doing?" She groaned.

"Trying to wake you up sleepy head."

"No. I don't want to get up yet." She was so cute when she was grumpy. Yes I said cute.

"C'mon baby. We have to get you showered and fed before we pick Gram up."

"Not yet Ash. Wake me up in an hour." Too cute.

I knew her pretty well by now and I knew that she would want to shower and eat before we left. She would be cranky if she didn't at least have her coffee. I don't know why but suddenly I just started singing softly to her. Maybe I could annoy her out of bed.

_The very thought of you_

_I forget to do_

_Those little ordinary things_

_That everyone ought to do_

_I'm livin' in a kind of a daydream_

_I'm happy as a queen_

_And foolish though it may seem_

_To me that's everything_

She smiled without opening her eyes. God she had the most gorgeous smile.

_The mere idea of you_

_The longing here for you_

_You'll never know_

_How slow the moments go_

_Till I'm near to you_

Finally she opened her eyes and looked at me with so much admiration and love.

Finally I got her to wake up.

_I see your face in every flower_

_Your eyes in stars above_

_It's just the thought of you,_

_The very thought of you, my love_

"That was lovely Ash. What was that?" She still hadn't moved from her spot but at least she was fully awake.

"Something my grandma used to listen to." It was one of the very few memories I had of her.

"I think I've heard it. Etta James?"

"Etta James had a version. But my favorite version was my grandma's favorite. The one and only Billie Holliday."

"Such a classy song Ashley and you sang it so…beautifully . You know you could get me to do just about anything if you sing to me like that." She rolled over and caressed my cheek.

"I'll have to remember that." I wiggled my eye brows and she rolled her eyes.

"You don't have to sing to get me to do that." She whispered before capturing my lips in a hot, wet, passionate kiss. Her warm, naked body was now on top of mine and I was suddenly so turned on that there was no way we were getting out of this bed anytime soon.

I guess breakfast was going to have to wait until after Gram's check-up. I was so not complaining.

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><p>After Gram's appointment we decided to stop and eat breakfast. Gram wanted to treat us and we couldn't say no. When Gram wanted something. She got it.<p>

"So when's the wedding Cupcakes?" Uh wedding? Cupcakes?

"Gram we are not getting married." Spencer replied.

"Yet." I winked and Gram winked back. Spencer just laughed.

"Ya know this body ain't going to look good in a dress forever and I already started writing my best man speech." What? Man I loved this woman.

"Best man speech. What if I wanted you for my maid of honor?" Spencer pouted and feigned being hurt.

"Oh Spencer my dear you know you're my number one girl. Of course I will be your maid of honor. Thanks for asking pumpkin. I'm sure Ashley will have no problem finding best man or best woman. So when's the date? Seriously."

"Gram we have not set a date but I can tell you that we have talked about it and both agree to wait. We're not ready. Geez we just started dating officially like 2 days ago."

"Exactly and Gram I couldn't marry your granddaughter right now anyway. I don't have a job or my own house. I don't even know what I am going to do when I go back home. I want to be able to give Spencer everything and right now the only thing I have is her."

I felt Spencer's hand fall on top of mine with a gentle squeeze.

"Smart girl. So right now you are just going to settle being her sex toy?" Oh man. Where has this woman been all of my life? She would have made growing up with Christine much more bearable.

"GRAM!" Spencer yelled and I laughed again.

She looked over at me and glared. "What did I tell you about encouraging her?"

I just shrugged.

Finally our food came and we ate in silence. I couldn't help it when I just busted out laughing out of nowhere replaying Gram's comments. They both just laughed along with me. It was a great morning.

So of course something had to disrupt our great morning. Or _someone_ better yet.

Paula was sitting outside the condo when we arrived. She was obviously waiting for us. It was her condo I was surprised she didn't just let herself in. Maybe she had more respect for us than I thought.

"Mother what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you. The both of you." She wasn't glaring but she still didn't look happy and she didn't look like she got much sleep last night. I felt bad for her…not really.

"Fine mother but if you start yelling or disrespecting Ashley in any way I won't hesitate to throw you out." Go Spence.

"There will be no yelling." She looked over at me and smiled. "And no disrespecting. I promise." I wish I could believe her but the smile on her face was fake and forced. Even when she smiled she scared the hell out of me.

Time for round 2?

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><p><em><strong>I intended for this chapter to be longer but didn't want to keep you all waiting longer. <strong>_

_**Leave a review if you wish. I won't stop you ;)**_

_**Song:**_

_The very thought of you- Sang by many, many artists. My fave's are Etta James and of course Billie Holliday's version._


	41. Chapter 41 Maybe, Probably, Definitely

**Once again Thank You for your words. They are appreciated and inspiring. **

**_hollymarie4_- **Lol. I know exactly what you mean. I always have a lot to say and then when I come to review I'm like "shit, I have to read it again."

_**PurpleLover92-** _Thanks. Glad you like those 'hot' scenes. Thanks for the confidence boost too :)

_**imaferrari-**_Lol at your "bathroom conflict" . I think everyone wants Gram. You'll have to stand in line.

_**Sgarc12- **drool.._ol. Oh yes the couch scene. Def. drool worthy. Yes sadly the story is ending soon but not too soon. I still have some story to tell. Hopefully this chapter doesn't make you cry. JK. It shouldn't. ;)

_**luvmeh8meucan'tchangeme-**_I am so happy that my story could be an inspiration to you. thanks :)

_**Brucas4ever-** _Paula has a lot up her sleeve. You shall be surprised ;)

_**Scarsoflove73**_- What have I told you about patience Love?

_**noodles307**_- Yes yes, anything by Billie Holiday = Classic. Gram is my ultimate picture of the coolest and most laid back old granny. Of course we all wish we had one. She was inspired by the grandma in The Lucky One..a Nicholas Sparks book. Of course my version is ten times better ) Thanks..I don't try to be Brilliant..just worthy of your guys' support. :)

_**patti1996**_- Well thank you :)

**_momo0424_**- Yes, stop trying to read and watch. lol. Paula can be a bitch..no surprise there. I think she will be surprising in this one though. Yes indeed, what a way to wake up. Gram is** the** best.

_**Toni**_- Damn that Paula ;) Yes Alyssa should be in the next upcoming chapters and it may or may not be sad. I don't want to give anything away. I hope your baby cousin is doing well. 3

_**Ade77**_- Glad you are finally reading and enjoying the story. Thanks for the reviews :)

_**TwittyArg**_- Another 40 chapters? Oh boy. The first 40 have taken a lot out of me. I don't think I could do another 40. I probably will do another story, don't know about a sequel. We will see. So glad that you are enjoying this story and my words mean a lot to you. I don't doubt that there are people like my Ash and Spence out there. I have to believe there truly is. The hopeless romantic in me believes there is. As for you literally feeling my words, you don't know what that means to hear that :) Thanks

_**I own nothing but my imagination. Gram, Miranda, Alyssa and Casey are mine too.** _

_Dedicated to the one and only **noodles307**- Thanks for being a loyal reader and honest reviewer. :)_

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><p><strong>Spencer's P.O.V.<strong>

We walked up the small porch but just before we got to the door my mother stopped. She started playing with the rings on her fingers.

"Actually would it be alright if I just spoke to you alone first Spence?" She asked. The nervousness in her voice surprised me.

I looked over at Ashley who nodded. She almost looked relieved.

"I need to make a few phone calls and it's beautiful out so I'll just take a walk."

"Ash you don't have to leave."

"It's okay Spence. I'll be right back." She kissed my cheeked and winked at me before turning around and walking back down the steps.

"Okay then. But don't go too far." I didn't plan on speaking to my mother for that long. I had a feeling I wasn't going to like what she was going to say.

"I won't." She said while walking away.

She sat down on the couch and started playing with the rings on her fingers again. I never noticed my mother had a nervous habit. Must have picked it up during the years when I scarcely saw her.

"Do you want something to drink?"

"Sure. Water is fine." Wow. Surprised she didn't ask for scotch.

I grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge. I handed her one but she didn't drink any she just set in on the table next to her. She just sat there for what seemed like minutes.

"So?" I was getting impatient with her.

"I'm trying so hard to understand Spencer. I was up all night, I couldn't sleep. I just don't get it. I mean what on God's green earth would possess you to be with a…a girl?"

Stay calm Spencer.

"That's simple mother. It's called love." She was right. She just didn't get it.

"Love, love? Really Spence. I must admit she is beautiful. That is quite obvious. But you could practically have anyone you wanted Spence. Any _guy_ you wanted. You're a beautiful, smart, kind, well-mannered and successful woman. You would have no problem I'm sure finding a really decent and loyal man. So why? Why her? What does she have that they don't, you know besides the obvious?"

Oh God, where do I start?

"_Her_ name is Ashley mother. Ashley. And this _girl_ is probably the most wonderful human being I have ever met. Yes she is beautiful mother and I will admit that she is the first and only female I have ever really been attracted to. But I didn't fall in love with the girl on the outside. She has such a good heart, she is so caring and gentle. She's very smart and by far the most talented person I know. She takes care of me, makes me smile when I am sad. Always knows how to make me laugh. When I am with her I feel like the most beautiful and most lucky woman. I know I said this before but she makes me so happy. I have never been this happy and never felt this loved."

I actually think what I said was starting to affect her. She had her elbows resting on her knees and her hands were covering her mouth. Her eyes were starting to tear up.

"You can say what you want and believe what you want to believe. I don't care. I love Ashley with all of my heart and all that I am. And she loves me back just the same. Sure we have our issues but who doesn't. I honestly believe that in 20 years we will still be this happy because _every single day_ we have been together she has found a different way to make me fall in love with her more. You may not see it now. But if you opened your eyes you would. See past the fact that she is a woman. See past the fact that she isn't what you wanted for me. Open your eyes mother and you will see what I see. Love. It's amazing and it's unconditional and I won't apologize for it."

She wiped her eyes, stood up and walked over to the window. It actually hurt to see her cry but it felt good knowing she was affected by what I said.

"I can see that you love her Spencer and I don't doubt that she loves you back."

"But?" I continue for her. She leaned up against the wall and sighed.

"No buts. I'm far from perfect Spencer. We both know that. I have made my share of mistakes and I take all of the blame for the position your father and I are in. I don't deserve him or his love. He loves like you do Spence. With all of your heart. And I wish…I really do wish." She paused to wipe her eyes again. Her words were barely heard through the sobs that were suddenly coming from her.

"I wish I felt for him the way you feel for her." She was full on sobbing now. What the hell? I had never seen my mother like this. I didn't know how to react.

"I am so sorry I made you defend your love. I saw it last night. The way you two looked at each other. The way you held each other's hands for support. The way you stood up for your love. I saw the performance too at the bar. Pretty much all of it."

"You did?" I didn't know. I thought she just saw me kissing Ashley.

"You must really love her do that for her. I was so confused at first. I knew you were singing to someone but it looked like singing to someone at your brothers table. Imagine my surprise when you sat on her lap. Then afterwards, that kiss. I didn't understand it, I didn't like it, I was angry. But I was jealous too. I haven't seen that kind of passion in, well, never."

I walked over to her and handed her a tissue. Grabbing one for myself as well.

"I'm sorry Spencer." Never did I think I would hear those words from my mother.

"Not just for questioning your love and trying to make you see it was wrong. I'm sorry for being a horrible mother. I'm just grateful that your dad has given you enough love for the both of us. And your grandmother of course."

"I accept your apology mother. It would make me so happy if you gave mine and Ashley's relationship a chance. As for you being a better mother. I would love nothing more. Because no matter how much love Dad gives me and no matter how much Gram is there for me I still need you. I still need my mother."

Tears were streaming down both of our faces as we embraced in a very long and well overdue hug.

"I really am sorry and I will do my best to be what you need. I love you."

"I love you too mom."

We pulled away and she wiped her eyes once more and laughed.

"I'm such a mess."

"Thank you mom. You don't know what this has meant to me."

"Actually I do. I'm just sorry and quite ashamed that it took me this long."

"Better late than never." I smiled at her and she smiled back, a true genuine smile.

"Go get your girl and bring her inside. I'm going to go and try to pull myself together."

"Okay… Oh and mom?"

She stopped at the door way.

"Promise me that you will put away your signature 'I'm Paula Carlin and I will kill you with my bare hands if you don't stay away from my daughter' glare. Seriously. You had Ashley freaking out all night last night." I chuckled.

She laughed. "What glare?" Then she turned and headed to the bathroom.

I needed to find Ashley and when I opened the door she was sitting on the steps listening to her I-pod. I snuck up behind her and sat down so she was in between my legs. My arms reached around her and she jumped.

"Geez woman you scared me." She said while pulling the ear plugs out.

I kissed her cheek and held her tight.

"I love you Ashley Marie Davies." I whispered. I knew she knew what she meant to me but in that moment I just had to say it.

She turned slightly so she could see my face.

"Are you okay?" She asked clearly concerned. My face and eyes were probably still red from crying.

"I am more than okay. I really am." She smiled.

"I love you too Spencer Ann…Carlin." She pressed her lips to mine in a very loving and innocent kiss. I know..Ashley and innocent don't really go together but that's how I would describe it. It was the perfect kiss at that moment.

"Come on in. Mom wants to talk to the both of us." I stood up and pulled her off the step. She looked a little scared.

"No worries okay. It's going to be a good talk."

We walked back into the house and sat down on the couch.

"So everything went well?" She whispered.

"Everything went great." I kissed her again gently and caressed her face with the back of my hand. Her eyes looked over my shoulder and suddenly she pulled back.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." My mother said from the door way.

She surprised me by sitting on the coffee table in front of us. I laughed inside when Ashley's body tensed up next to me. I reached over and grabbed her hand.

"I want to say something." Ashley blurted out, surprising me and my mother.

"Sure." My mother replied.

Ashley took a deep breath and looked directly at my mother.

"I understand why you would be against this. I really do. You're a mother and I know you love your daughter and you want what's best for her. There's nothing wrong with that." She paused and took another breath. I squeezed her hand.

"My whole life I didn't feel loved. I didn't feel like I was worthy of love. Spencer changed all of that for me. She gave me everything I never knew I needed or even wanted." She choked up and I placed my hand on her back.

"It was so easy to fall in love with her. She's perfect. Perfect in every way that matters to me. And I love her more than I could ever put into words. What we have may not be traditional or ethical in the eyes of others but to us…" She looked over at me and I started tearing up again as soon as our eyes locked.

"To us it's ..everything. It's beautiful, wonderful, magical, incredible, heart stopping, breath taking, no words for, completely, without a doubt, unconditional and never ending…love. And I will _not_ give her up _or_ let her down as long as I live. Not for anything or anyone. You want what's best for her…"

She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed the top of it. Looking into my eyes and melting my heart she quietly said. "_I am_ what is best for her. As long as she is by my side I will do everything in my power to make her happy. I would do literally anything for her. Anything and everything."

Finally she turned back to my mother but she didn't say anything. She noticed my mother's reaction. She knew nothing more needed to be said.

I was crying like a baby. My mother looked like she was about to join me and Ashley, well Ashley was just staring at me lovingly as she held both of my hands. Like I said, she made me fall in love with her every day. Like this very moment. She didn't even have to try. She was just being herself. She was just being Ashley.

"Well Ashley. I do believe you _did_ just put into words how much you love my daughter." She smiled and reached out to touch Ashley's hand. The sight before me made me so overwhelmingly happy. I pursed my lips trying not to get choked up and my tears flowed fast and uncontrollably but I didn't care. They were tears of happiness.

"Now I have something I would like to say to the both of you." She grabbed my hand and then grabbed Ashley's.

"First off I would like to apologize for my behavior yesterday." She directed her apology to Ashley.

"Secondly, I just want to say that I can see how much you love my daughter and she has made it quite obvious that she loves you just the same. Thank you for treating her well and making her happy."

I looked over at Ashley and she looked like she was in shock.

"I was raised to believe that what you two are doing is wrong. But looking at you two, so in love, so happy, so devoted to each other.." She shook her head.

"I don't see wrong. And I am so truly sorry for my reaction."

"Thank you." Ashley whispered.

"You're welcome."

"I may still find it hard at times to understand all of this. But know that I am trying. I really am. And I will do everything I can to support you two." She was still holding our hands and suddenly she brought them together.

"Thanks mom. It means a lot." It really did and I hoped she would become better at understanding it as time went on. Because I had no intentions of giving Ashley up either.

She stood up and we both followed.

I reached my arms out and she walked into them. It felt so good to have my mom back. Hopefully she was back in my life for good.

She pulled back and turned towards Ashley. Ashley didn't look scared anymore, but still unsure. That is until my mother pulled her into a hug. She looked over my mother's shoulder at me with a look of fear. I laughed inside and gave her a big smile.

"Thank you for all of the things you said. My daughter is really lucky to have someone in her life who loves her the way you do. I'm grateful for that."

Ashley just nodded.

"Okay so I am going to get home. Your father has probably already started preparing for dinner. You two are coming right? Okay great." Uh I guess we were going to dinner at my parents.

"Sounds good. Ash?" She still looked like she was in shock. So cute.

"Yeah, yes. Sounds good." I don't care what she says, she's adorable some times.

After my mother left we cuddled up on the couch.

"Did that just happen or did I imagine that?" She asked while lying in my arms.

"You definitely did not imagine that. I must say that I am at a loss for words. My mother's initial reaction was expected; I _never_ thought she would accept us. I still can't believe what she said."

"Okay, maybe we did imagine it." I snorted and she laughed.

"I hope it wasn't my imagination. What you said Ash, what you said was so beautiful. Thank you baby." I kissed her head and she turned in my arms so she was resting in between my legs.

"You're welcome baby. I meant every word." She leaned in for a kiss and I met her half way. The kiss was soft and simple at first. It quickly turned into one of the deepest and most passionate kisses I had ever experienced. We weren't just kissing with our lips; we were kissing with our entire bodies, our hearts and our souls. Every fiber of my being was aching for her touch. My entire body was on fire and begging for her to show me, make me feel how much she loved me.

We made love right there on the couch. Afterwards as she laid on my chest fast asleep I thought about fate. Were we destined to be together? Maybe. Probably. Definitely.

I thanked God for bringing her to me. I thanked God for creating such an amazing human being. I thanked God for giving my mother the strength to do what she did today.

I was so happy. There was a time when I thought I never would be again. There was a time when I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life. There was a time when I thought I could never love anyone again.

She shifted on top of me and I held on to her tighter.

I looked out the window and up to the sky. The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. It was such a beautiful day.

"Thank you God for giving me the strength... To love again." I whispered before I drifted off to sleep.

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><p><em><strong>Hope this didn't come off too 'cheesy'. Lol.<strong>_

_**Leave a review if you wish :)**_


	42. Chapter 42 Right here, right now

_**You guys and your reviews are awesome. Love ya. Thanks bunches.**_

_** Also Alyssa's disease will finally be talked about in this chapter. I know some of you were wondering just what was wrong with her.**_

**Sgarc12**- You may need tissues very briefly for this one.

**PurpleLover92**- Well I am glad you love cheesy. Thanks for staying up til 3 a.m. to read this :)

**hollymarie4**- Yeah it was kind of fluffy, glad you liked it ;)

**toni**- Well thank you again for your inspiring words. Glad your little buddy is doing well :)

**luvmeh8meucan'tchangeme**- No Paula doesn't know that she is only 18...yet ;)

**Scarsoflove73**- Your patience this week surprised me..I kept waiting for UPDATE lol. Good girl :)

**noodles307**- Once again you made me smile and laugh. "actually it was kinda cheesy but what the heck" As always I love your honesty. Thanks :)

**momo0424**- I like to be tricky every once in a while. Glad you enjoyed :)

**imaferrari**- "I like cheese" Lol

**Ade77**- Finally caught up huh. Well I hope you enjoy the update :)

- I know I said this before but I love your username and the song is quite amazing. Thanks for the review.

**Isabella E**.- Well I am glad you read the story even though you didn't like the topic. Thanks :) Ashley's tattoo is a musical note that starts on the right side of her belly button and wraps around her back to the other side of her hip.

**bitten2**- Thanks so much and thanks for reading.

This chapter is dedicated to my silly twitter friends, **Steph, Scaro** and **The Purple One** ;) Love you guys :)

_I own nothing but my imagination and a few awesome characters_.

_This chapter is **Rated M.**_

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><p>We walked into the Carlin home and once again I was blasted with the delicious aroma of garlic and onion. Mmmmm Italian food. Did I mention how much I love the Carlins? Well just in case I didn't, I fucking love the Carlins.<p>

Especially the one holding my hand.

Ever since my speech to her mother she hasn't been able to keep her hands off of me. I'm not just talking sexually here. Even though..Wow..never mind. Anyway back to her not being able to keep her hands off of me. We made love after Paula left and she held me afterwards like she's never done before. It was almost as if she was afraid to let me go. We took a shower before we came here and it was the most relaxing and pleasurable shower I had ever had and we didn't even have sex. She massaged and washed every inch of my body from my hair to my shoulders to my abs to my toes. Mmmmm. It was oh so incredible.

On the way here she played with my hair and gently scratched the back of my neck while I drove. And since we got here she has not let go of my hand. It is an amazing feeling being wanted and needed for reasons not just pertaining to sex. Even though that is quite nice too.

Miranda came bouncing down the stairs and jumped us.

"I miss you guys so much. Are you done having sex now so we can all hang out again?"

We both laughed.

"Have you been hanging out with Gram?" Spencer asked her. She looked confused.

"I spent a couple hours with her. Why?"

"No reason." She looked over at me smiled and we both shared another laugh.

"Did I miss something?"

"Never mind Miranda. How about tomorrow we all hang out..all day?"

"Sounds like an excellent idea Spence." She smiled from ear to ear.

Spencer pulled Miranda into a hug and then Miranda pulled me into the both of them. We were all hugging and giggling.

"I love you guys." Miranda proclaimed.

"Everyone is making declarations of love. I'm kinda jealous." Glen said while coming down the stairs.

"Mom told you huh?"

"I overheard her talking to dad. Wow Davies you sure did a number on my mom. She never spoke about any of my girlfriends like that."

"That's because all of your girlfriends were slutty and skanky." Wow Spence don't hold back.

"Hey!" Glen cried. "Oh wait. Yeah, you're right."

We all laughed and he just shrugged.

Dinner was amazing of course. Homemade raviolis, focaccia bread and a glass of Chianti wine. Does it get any better than that?

Luckily dinner conversation centered on Clay. I just wanted to eat the extraordinary, delicious meal that was placed in front of me. Talking was not an option at the moment. Apparently Clay was headed to New York to speak at a Physics Convention. He was 1 of only 6 chosen around the country to speak. It's too bad; I really did want to meet him. Maybe next time.

I might have spoken too soon.

"So Ashley, I didn't realize that Raife Davies was your father." Mr. C. asked as he took a sip of his wine.

Damn it. I love you Mr. C. but you are interrupting the love fest I am having with my ravioli's.

Ugh!

I set my fork down and wiped my mouth.

"Yep. The one and only."

"What's that like?" Glen asked. He was biting into a piece of bread and I glared at him.

"Lonely." Everyone stopped eating and looked at me. Oops! Did I say that out loud?

"Well you know it can be at times. While he's on tour. Luckily I have amazing friends." I looked over at Miranda and she smiled."And an even more amazing girlfriend." Spencer leaned in and kissed my cheek.

"What about your mother?" Mr. C. asked with a concerned voice.

"She hasn't been in my life for a while." I wasn't about to bring up that long, fucked up story.

Spencer's hand that had been resting on my thigh throughout dinner gave it a gentle squeeze. When I looked at her I saw the sadness in her eyes. She was the only one who really knew what my mother had put me through that night.

"Oh." Mr. C. replied.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"Nope. I'm an only child." Can I eat now?

"Man that would be so awesome to be a teenager with no parents around." Glen blurted out while stuffing his face with bread.

Paula's eye widened and Mr. C. choked on his food.

Miranda pursed her lips and looked down.

Spencer was chewing on her lip.

Shit…Was about to hit the fan.

"What?" Paula asked in a calm but angry tone.

We never mentioned to her that I was only 18 did we? Uh oh.

Glen looked up with an "Oh shit did I just say that" expression and I looked back at him with a "Yes you did you Jackass" expression of my own.

"Oh ya know I just meant that it must have been cool when she was a teenager, to have the house all to herself."

I would say "nice recovery idiot" but Paula still looked unsure.

"Okay." She replied. She wasn't buying it.

Spencer grabbed my hand that was on top of the table.

"Actually mom you should know the truth. Ashley is only 18 and she was a student of mine at Archer's."

Now Paula was choking on her food.

Way to go Spence.

She stood up and threw her napkin on the table. "I need to speak to the both of you outside. Right now!" Damn it. I am never going to get to finish this delicious meal. I tried to grab a piece of bread on my way out but Spencer smacked my hand.

We walked out behind her and when she turned around I recognized the Beast from last night.

Uh, where's that tire-iron?

"Okay." She took a deep breath.

"She's only 18 and you were her teacher,.. in high school?"

Spencer nodded.

"What the hell Spencer!"

Her face was beet red and I expected smoke to start coming out of her ears.

"Mom it's not as bad as it sounds. Let me explain."

"I have let you do nothing but explain today. I am done listening. This is crazy."

She started pacing around the patio.

"So my daughter is not only dating a girl, but an 18 year old one at that."

"Yes mother. We have established that." Spencer said in a snotty tone. So hot!

"I don't even know what to say anymore." She said with her hands on her hips.

"Then don't say anything. Let it go." Mr. C. butted in from the door way.

They shared a look. One that I did not recognize.

"Come on. Let's go have some dessert."

Uh, I am starting to think that woman is bi-polar.

She faced the both of us and sighed. Then she put her arms around the both of us as we walked back inside.

Yep. Definitely bi-polar.

"So who wants dessert?" Mr. C. asked excitingly when we all got back into the kitchen.

No dessert for me. I just wanted to finish my ravioli's.

"Ashley? Dessert?"

"Nope. I'm all good here." I sat down in front of my plate and picked up my fork.

It was a bit cold but still yummy. I finished it off and then had another serving while they all ate strawberry cheesecake. Hey, I told you I love Italian food.

I excused myself from the table when I got a text message from Alyssa.

_Call me Ashley – Als._

I could faintly hear Spencer explaining who Alyssa was to her parents as I left the kitchen.

I cannot tell you how nervous I was getting a text from her. On the other hand, I took it as a good sign that she was the one texting me. She had a very hard time doing anything with her fingers. It probably took her forever to send it. I wondered why she didn't just call me.

I walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch. I quickly dialed her number and she picked up on the second ring.

"Hello."

"Hello."

"Oh hi Ashley. It's Ms. Cooper."

"Oh. Um Alyssa texted me."

"Actually that was me. She asked me to. She really wants to see you Ashley."

"Can I talk to her?" I was not liking this conversation so far.

"Well see that's the thing Ashley. She can't really speak very loud right now. She is having a hard time talking."

Oh God.

I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"It's happening already?"

"Yes. Soon she won't be able to speak at all." She replied quietly.

"Okay." I croaked out.

"I'll be there as soon as I can, depending on when I can get a flight."

"Thank you Ashley."

After I hung up I walked out to the front porch and sat down on the step. I needed air and a little peace and quiet.

I knew the time was nearing. The time when Alyssa would get so bad she couldn't communicate with anyone, at least not verbally. She still had enough muscle to move her hands and fingers enough to make simple signs. I worked on them with her on my last visit. She wanted to be prepared for it when it finally started happening. Which I guess was now.

The door creaked open and out walked Glen. He sat down next to me on the step. He didn't say anything for a couple minutes. He just sat there.

"So, how's your friend?" He finally asked just above a whisper.

"Not well."

"She's been sick for a while huh?"

"Yes. She's getting worse, fast."

"So Spence said she has ALS, Lou Gehrig's disease. What is it?" I knew he was just trying to be 'brotherly' and even though it was a great gesture I didn't know if I wanted to talk about Alyssa with him.

"It's okay. We don't have to talk about it?" He said when I didn't reply.

I sighed.

"It's a disease that affects the nerve cells in the spinal cord and brain. The nerve cells reach from the brain to the spinal cord and then from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the body. When the nerve cells degenerate the muscles lose their ability to move voluntary. It's rare for children and young adults. Alyssa just happened to be part of that small percentage." I wiped the tears from my eyes.

He reached his hand out and placed it on my back. It felt strangely comforting.

"Her muscles have become so weak she can barely walk. She hasn't been able to hold a pen or a fork in months. And now..now she is losing the ability to talk."

I pursed my lips and held in the sob that was trying to force its way out.

He started rubbing my back.

"Everything okay Ash?" Spencer asked from the open door.

"I have to go home tomorrow. Alyssa needs me." I said without turning around.

Glen stood up and walked back into the house and Spencer took his place.

I leaned my head on her shoulder. She didn't say anything. She just held me. She knew there was nothing she could say.

We finally walked back into the house after I called and made my flight arrangements.

Everyone was sitting around the kitchen table still but now they were engrossed in a card game. I think.

"Do you know how to play 'Screw your neighbor' Ash?" Glen asked with a pretzel rod hanging from his mouth like a cigar.

"Do I know how to play 'Screw your what?'"

They all laughed.

"Screw your neighbor. It's a card game Ashley. Got 3 quarters?"

I looked at Glen like he was crazy.

"Come here, have a seat." He patted the chair next to him.

I sat down and looked over at him. What a goofball. But he really was a great guy.

"Don't worry Ash. Big brother Glen will teach you." Oh boy.

We played for about an hour and let me just tell you…I am great at Screwing my …I mean playing 'Screw your neighbor'. Call it beginners luck, call it what you want. I won 20 out of probably around 30 hands. Take that bitches.

Afterwards I found Miranda sitting on the couch texting on her phone.

"How's Lover Boy?" I teased.

"He's good. Busy and wore out. He misses me." Her lips turned into an ear to ear smile.

"Of course he does, you're like the sun.."

"Yeah yeah. I brighten up the day. Blah blah. You're so corny Ash."

"Whatever, Brat." See if I ever compliment her again.

I noticed Spencer out of the corner of my eye. She was leaning against the door frame.

I turned to face her and was surprised to see what I saw.

Anger.

Whoa! What did I do now?

"I need to talk to you Ashley. Outside."

Uh okay. I was being taken outside for a talking again. I was scared this time too, but mostly confused.

We went back out to the front porch. She picked something up of the step and handed it to me. My phone. I didn't even realize I had dropped it.

"Your dad called me looking for you. He was worried when you weren't answering your phone. We were just talking and he mentioned something about a tour. Imagine my surprise when he asked how I was going to handle not seeing you for 3 months."

This wasn't how I imagined having this conversation with her. She was furious with me right now.

"Spence I'm sorry. I planned on telling you tonight."

"So you planned on telling me tonight that you made the decision to go on a 3 fucking month tour without so much as even talking to your girlfriend about it and you're leaving in 3 days. Nice Ashley."

Spencer swearing was hot and right now when she is so pissed at me I can't help but thinking of throwing her up against the wall and…

"Are you going to say something?" She yelled.

"I'm sorry Spence. I just made the decision on a whim. He called and told me that this was a great opportunity and that I had a week to be in New York."

"Not a week, 3 days. He just called to tell you that." She fired back.

"Spence, I'm sorry. I just, I need to do this tour. It is a great opportunity for me. And as much as I am going to hate being away from you for that long I have to do it."

"You don't have to do anything Ashley. You, yourself said you weren't ready and now all of the sudden you are. I don't get it."

"I'm doing this Spence. I'm sorry. I'm going to miss you like crazy but I do have to do this."

"So that's it?" She raised her voice again.

"That's it. I guess I am leaving on Monday."

"That's just wonderful."

"Why are you so upset? You don't want me to be successful? Why don't you want this for me?"

"Because I don't think that now is the best time. I think you're going for all of the wrong reasons, yet I don't know what those reasons are." She sighed and ran her hands through her hair.

"I'm doing it for me okay. This is what I love to do and it would be nice to have some fucking support from my girlfriend." I snapped at her.

"I support you doing what you love to do. When you're ready for it." She snapped back.

"I am ready. I've been doing this for a while Spence. I can handle it. The question is can you? Do you even want to?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't support me, you don't want me to go. What happens when I do? What does that mean for us?"

"I don't know Ashley. 3 months. 3 months of you being in a different city every night. Girls and guys throwing themselves at you."

"That's what this is about?" I interrupted.

"You don't trust me? That's just great Spence."

"That's not it Ashley. You didn't let me finish." I'd heard enough.

"I don't want to hear what you have to say anymore." I was so pissed at this point. I walked into the house and said my good byes to the Carlin's who looked at me confused. After the good byes and thanking them for dinner I kissed Miranda on the cheek, grabbed Spencer's keys of the table next to the door and walked out the door, right past her.

"Where are you going?" She shouted.

"To pack."

**Spencer's P.O.V.**

Well that turned out horribly. I can't believe this. I can't believe she said yes without talking to me. I mean it's not like I would ever try to tell her she couldn't go but it would have been nice to know that what I wanted mattered. Even just a little. And I know she's not ready for this big change. And it is a BIG change. Of course it was a great opportunity. 3 months on tour as one of the 2 opening acts for Colbie Caillat. I know that this is what she has been dreaming of but she told me she wanted to wait a year; she waited not even a week. I know her more than anyone I would like to think and something is not right.

I trust her. I trust her with my heart and everything I am. She didn't let me finish. She didn't let me explain. She just left. I should probably go after her but I'm still upset. I needed to cool down. I walked upstairs after getting concerned stares from the family. Lying down on the futon in my old room I started to cry. She was leaving in 3 days. For 3 months. There was nothing I could do or say to change her mind. I just hoped she would be the same Ashley when she came back.

It felt like someone was shoving me.

"Spencer."

Huh?

"Spencer wake up."

What?

"SPENCER!"

"Whaaat, huh?"

I rolled over to see Miranda sitting on the futon next to me.

I must have fallen asleep.

"Get up and get your ass over to the condo."

"Excuse me?" Did she just swear at me?

"You heard me."

"Why?" Ashley was mad at me. She didn't want to see me.

"Ashley's flight leaves at 6 a.m. Which means she will probably be leaving for the airport in less than an hour. So move it."

"What time is it?" I asked frantically.

"4 a.m."

"4 A.M.!" Oh my God.

"She called me last night and told me when her flight was. She told me about the fight. I'm sure you both can work it out. Now go."

I couldn't let Ashley go back to L.A. without talking to her. It might be the last chance I have before she leaves for her tour.

I was off of the futon and running down the stairs as fast as I could.

When I pulled up to the condo there was a cab waiting outside. The driver was putting her bags into the trunk. I ran up the stairs just as she was walking out.

She looked horrible. Her eyes were puffy; it looked like she hadn't slept at all.

"I'm sorry." I said without even thinking. I was sorry.

"Me too." She dropped her bag and I pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Ash. I love you."

"I love you too baby."

I pulled back and cradled her face in my hands. Then I leaned in a kissed her gently.

"Let me drive you to the airport." She nodded.

I walked down to the cab driver and handed him a fifty dollar bill. I hoped that would be enough for his troubles.

He handed me her bags and I carried them to my car. When I turned around she was right there in front of me.

"Tell me you trust me." Her beautiful brown eyes looked so sad.

"I trust you Ash. I want to explain everything. How about we talk on the way there?"

"Okay." She put her hands in her pockets and nodded.

"Ready?"

"Yeah."

We got in the car and headed to the airport.

"So when I was talking about you being in a different city every night and all of the girls and guys hitting on you I wasn't insinuating that you would ..cheat on me. What I was trying to say was that you were going to have a lot of pressure and temptation and everyone is going to be wanting something from you. I just hope you're ready for that."

"Spencer I am not worried about the temptation. There is not one girl out there that can even come remotely close to how amazing, sexy and beautiful you are. I don't want anyone else. No-one. Just you."

I grabbed her hand that was in her lap and squeezed it.

"I know that Ashley. And I won't lie; I still don't understand why you have to do this. Why you have to go _now_."

She looked down.

"I want to be able to take care of you Spence." She said quietly. I almost didn't hear her.

"You do take care of me Ashley." And she does it so well.

"No. I want to be able to take care of you financially. My dad's money is not going to last forever. And I want to ensure that I can provide for you and anyone else that I need to in the future. I don't want to wait Spence. I need to start making money now."

Is she kidding me?

"Ashley."

"No Spence. I know I sound ridiculous but I mean it. I mean I know that you make good money and you already have a house but _I_ want to take care of _you_ Spencer. I love you and that's all I think about."

"Ash it's not ridiculous. I love that you want to take care of me. It sort of feels like I should be taking care of you though."

"Why because you're older?"

"I don't know, I guess."

"Come on Spence. We both know that I am so the man in this relationship."

We both laughed.

"Really though Ash, we are in this together and I want to provide for you as well. You shouldn't have to go on this tour when you're not ready."

"I am ready Spence. This is what I was born to do. You know besides, love you." She smiled her famous Ashley Davies smile and my heart melted.

"You're sure?"

"I'm sure. Now are you going to admit the truth of why you're so upset about me leaving?"

"What? I'm going to miss you Ashley. That is obvious."

"And my amazing smile, my gorgeous eyes, my hot body, my…"

"Your cockiness."

She chuckled.

"I don't know how I am going to get through 3 months when I could barely get through 3 weeks. Will you come visit me?"

"You know I will. I'm going to have a hard time too."

"Can you wear a shirt that says 'I have a girlfriend and she will kick your ass if you try to touch me'?"

She laughed. "Only if you do too."

"Deal."

"Ash, I don't want to sound like I am trying to give you an excuse to have to stay but..What about Alyssa? You said she needs you."

She looked down again.

"Alyssa would want me to go. In fact if she found out that I didn't go because of her she would be upset and that's the last thing I want. She doesn't want anyone hanging around waiting for her to… pass."

I could see she was trying to hold it together. I felt bad for practically starting a fight with her earlier. I felt responsible for it getting out of hand. I said all of the wrong things. I'm just glad we got past it.

"I'm really sorry Ash. I'm sorry that if I made you doubt me. I do want your dreams to come true and I do support you. But I also love you and I want to make sure that you think about the choices you have to make before you make them. I really wish you would have talked to me before you said yes to your dad."

"I know and I am truly sorry for that Spence."

I squeezed her hand to tell her it was okay. We were okay. Thankfully.

"Uh where are we going? Isn't the airport parking lot that way?" She asked confused. I had pulled down a street that looked almost abandoned.

"You're flight doesn't leave for another hour and fifteen. We have a little bit of time. I want to show you something."

I pulled into an empty field that was at the end of one of the runways of the airport.

"My dad used to bring us here as kids."

A plane was nearing the runway. We had the perfect seat.

"This is awesome Spence."

We both got out of the car and sat down on the hood. She slid over and sat behind me.

"Spence?"

"Yeah."

"I love you and that's never going to change."

I turned around in her arms and leaned in for a kiss just as the plane flew over our heads. Our hair was blowing around and a bit of sand too but that did not break our kiss. I was not ready to let her go. But I couldn't go with her. I needed to make sure Gram was going to be okay first.

"I hate fighting with you Spence." She shook her head. "Can we promise to never fight again?"

I laughed. "I can't promise that Ash but I can promise something else."

"Oh really. And what is that?"

"I can promise that the making up will be fun."

I kissed her again. This time harder than the first couple times. This one I wanted to show her how much I was going to miss her. The kiss deepened instantly and our tongues touched and we both moaned. They danced and they tangled into one another. I bit down on her bottom lip and then sucked on it. She did the same thing with mine. I left her lips and trailed my tongue down her neck and then back up reaching her ear.

"I want you so bad. Right here. Right now."

_**Ashley's P.O.V.**_

Oh My God

Gasp.

Gulp.

She spread my legs further apart. Luckily I had chosen to wear a jean skirt home. It was the only thing I had left that was clean. Her hand wasted no time trailing up my thigh and then cupping my wet center.

"God Ashley. You're so wet." She moaned into my ear before biting down on it.

"Uh huh." I somehow managed to get out.

Her fingers moved my panties to the side and starting rubbing slowly and steadily.

"Oh fuck" I was having a hard time getting out more than two words. She had me all hot and flustered. I was already panting and out of breath and she hadn't even entered me yet.

"You feel so good Ashley. So fucking good." Oh God Spence, you keep talking like that and it won't take long to push me over the edge.

I pulled her face back in front of me and shoved my tongue in her mouth. I needed to feel her tongue and taste her.

Finally she stopped teasing and slid two fingers inside of me.

I gasped into her mouth and threw my head back. She kissed my chin, then my neck and then pushed me back so that I was lying down on the hood. It was still warm and that combined with my already hot body, had me sweating. My body was on fire.

She was thrusting in and out of me at a steady pace and it was perfect. Her other hand pushed up my top and then her lips were on my stomach.

"Fuck Spence. Ohhh GOD!" She started thrusting faster and harder and then pressed her thumb against my clit. Her tongue was circling my belly button and then trailed up to my bra covered breast. She looked up at me with her now dark blue eyes as I panted hard and tried to keep mine open. Then suddenly my bra was being pushed up and her lips were around my nipple and that was it.

The orgasm was so intense as it rippled through my body. It felt like it just kept going on and on. Every time I would relax she would thrust herself back into me and I would feel another small one.

I was sprawled out over the hood of her car. I was spent. I was half naked for the world to see and I couldn't care less. Another plane flew over us and I am pretty sure they just got a great sight to see. I looked up at her and she just smiled that beautiful Spencer Carlin smile. The one that makes you fall in love with her at just a glance. Then her smile turned into a smirk and she dropped her head.

Her lips found my nipple again and started teasing it, biting it, sucking it and then suddenly her fingers were back inside of me. She started thrusting hard and fast once again and it didn't take long.

"Spenceeeeeerrrrr!"

She gave me a minute to relax and then suddenly she had her head between my legs and started cleaning me up.

"God you taste good Ash."

"Thank you baby." I said still out of breath.

She pulled my bra and shirt back down and then fixed my panties and skirt.

"What am I going to do without you for 3 months?" She pouted.

I pulled her into me and kissed her.

"Phone sex?" I replied with a smile and an eye brow wiggle.

"I'll just have to come visit you every weekend, no matter where you are."

"Sounds good to me baby."

I pushed her back so I could get off the hood. Then spun her around and placed her on top of it.

"We have to get going Ash."

I shook my head.

"Not yet. We still have time and it is _so_ my turn."

* * *

><p><strong><em>I like reviews.<em>**


	43. Chapter 43 Why!

_**Okay so the first part of this was originally in the last chapter but I decided to keep it out and make it another chapter. **_

_**I apologize to anyone who was upset with the last chapter. There is still a lot of story left to tell so please be patient.**_

_I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda and Alyssa are mine as well._

When I got to the beach house I took a deep breath at the door. It was a long flight and I thought about Alyssa the entire way. I didn't know how to deal with what was going on. I didn't know if I could be strong like she is. I know I wasn't ready to lose her. She meant so much to me and she helped me more than she knew.

I knocked on the door. Yes I know it was my house but I felt like I should knock. Alyssa's mom opened up the door and looked at me confused.

"You don't have to knock Ashley. It is your house after all." She said with a kind smile.

"I know. I just … I don't know." She laughed quietly.

"Come in." She moved to the side and I walked in.

"So how is she?"

"Same as yesterday. She's not able to get a lot of words out but she is trying. She was really frustrated at first but she's doing better."

"Is she awake?"

"Yes, go ahead and go in."

I hesitated and I think she sensed that I was scared.

"Come on. I'll go in first." She grabbed my hand and led the way.

I could not believe it had only been 6 days since I had seen her last.

She was noticeably skinnier and her face was pale. When she saw me her face lit up. I smiled back, trying my best to show that I was not upset…even though I clearly was.

"Ash-ley" She whispered.

I walked as fast as I could to her bed side. She slowly held her hand out and I reached for it cradling it in mine.

"You're he-here." I could see how happy she was. It showed in her eyes. I was still amazed that I could do that for her.

"I'm here."

In that moment I knew I couldn't tell her about the tour. In that moment I knew I wasn't going on that tour. I wasn't going to leave her. She needed me and deep down, I needed her.

"Can you s-tay…..for…. a while?" She squeezed my hand and I knew it took a lot out of her to do that.

"I'm not going anywhere. You couldn't get rid of me if you tried."

"Goo-d" She laid her head back and closed her eyes.

Inside I was fighting a battle I knew I was going to lose.

"Ash" She whispered without opening her eyes.

"Yeah sweetie." I tucked some hair behind her ear.

"Can y-you.."

"You want me to sing to you?"

She nodded.

I knew my singing soothed her. I wanted to make her feel better; if that was possible and if singing made her feel even the tiniest bit better I had no problem doing that for her.

_Everybody needs inspiration_

_Everybody needs a song_

_A beautiful melody when the night's so long_

_'Cause there is no guarantee that this life is easy_

_Yeah, when my world is falling apart_

_When there's no light to break up the dark_

_That's when I, I, I look at you_

_When the waves are flooding the shore_

_And I can't find my way home anymore_

_That's when I, I, I look at you_

_When I look at you, I see forgiveness, I see the truth_

_You love me for who I am like the stars hold the moon_

_Right there where they belong_

_And I know I'm not alone_

_Yeah, when my world is falling apart_

_When there's no light to break up the dark_

_That's when I, I, I look at you_

_When the waves are flooding the shore_

_And I can't find my way home anymore_

_That's when I, I, I look at you_

_You appear just like a dream to me_

_Just like kaleidoscope colors that prove to me_

_All I need, every breath that I breathe_

_Don't ya know, you're beautiful_

_Yeah, yeah_

_When the waves are flooding the shore_

_And I can't find my way home anymore_

_That's when I, I, I look at you_

_I look at you_

_Yeah, yeah, oh, oh_

_You appear just like a dream to me_

She fell asleep half way through the song. I kept singing. For her. For myself.

Ms. Cooper handed me a tissue and held me from behind.

"You don't know how much you mean to her…and to me. Thank you."

The tears that had been building up broke through and I started sobbing in her arms. She helped me up and we walked out of the room. I couldn't breathe. But I couldn't stop crying.

It wasn't fair.

I couldn't handle it.

I walked outside and down to the beach.

I sat in the sand.

"Why?"

The only word that left my lips.

"Why?"

I yelled to the sky.

When I walked back into the house I found Ms. Cooper in the kitchen. She was making lunch for Alyssa I suppose. It looked like cream of mushroom soup but without the mushrooms.

"I'm sorry."

She turned and looked at me with a half-smile.

"Don't be. It's okay. I have had my fair share of break downs. Trust me."

I sighed and ran a hand through my unruly hair.

"Sit. I'll make you some soup."

"Thanks"

"You're welcome."

We sat down and had a bowl of soup together.

I felt horrible.

Yes, I was going to lose Alyssa. I had no doubts about that.

But so was her mother. And Alyssa was her life. She was all she had.

"Um, I was going to ask earlier but I didn't know how to."

"Ashley. You can ask me anything."

"Is there anything I can do, to help with..preparing?" I couldn't say the last part.

She shook her head.

"No. I can handle all of that." She said while staring out the window.

"What about financially?" I had to ask.

"I can't ask you for that Ashley."

"You don't have to ask. I want to help, I need to."

"Really Ashley. I can't. You've done so much already."

"I haven't done enough." I looked down at my bowl and swirled the spoon around.

I felt a finger on my chin lifting it up.

"Every time my little girls face lights up, it is because you are in the room. Every time she laughs it is because of something you said. Every time she smiles, it is one more smile that I get to remember. Because of you. I know you feel helpless Ashley. I do to. But don't you ever think that you are not doing anything for her or for me. You do more than you know."

She got up of her chair and leaned down to hug me again.

"Thank you. For giving her a place to stay that she felt comfortable in. For giving her a friendship. For making her laugh and smile and act like a kid for once."

I hugged her back.

"You're welcome." Is all I could think to say.

I walked into my room upstairs and called Spencer.

She answered on the second ring.

"Hey Ash, how is she?" I could hear the worry in her voice.

"Not good Spence." My voiced croaked out.

"Ash, what's going on?" I laid down in my bed and curled up into a ball.

"I wish you were here holding me right now." The tears started coming again.

"You need there me Ash? I'll come as fast as I can." God I love her.

"No, I mean yes I need you but you don't need to come home." I wanted her to but I knew she was still worried about Gram.

"Ashley?"

"Spence really I'm fine. I want you here but you need to be there. Don't worry about me. I'm just waiting for Alyssa to wake up. Then we can spend some time together."

"I'm sorry Ash. I'm sorry that you're going through this."

"Don't be sorry for me Spence. Be sorry for Alyssa. Be sorry for her mom."

"Of course I'm sorry for them too. I can't imagine going through what Alyssa is going through. That's why I sent you too her Ash. I knew you could give her some happy times. I knew she would love you."

"I'm glad you did baby. Just the thought of her and her mom having to go through this alone makes me sick to my stomach. I'm glad I met her. She has shown me so much without even trying."

"I know what you mean. I'm glad you two have each other."

"Spence?"

"Yeah babe."

"I'm not going on the tour."

"I know babe."

* * *

><p>After the phone call with Spencer I walked back downstairs. Alyssa was still asleep. I sat down on the bed next to her and laid down, careful not to hurt her.<p>

I must have fallen asleep.

I woke up to a fingers going through my hair.

"Ash-leeey"

I opened my eyes to see her looking down at me.

"Are y-ou com-fy?" Her voice was hoarse and she was trying so hard to get the words out.

I smiled and grabbed the hand in my hair, holding it in mine.

"Yeah I am. Sorry."

"No it'-s okay."

She grabbed the remote next to her but it fell out of her weak grasp.

I jumped out of bed and walked around to get it.

"Hit p-lay."

I nodded and hit the play button.

It was me, on the stage at Pure. It was the last time I performed there.

"How did you get this?"

She gave me a lopsided smile.

"Spen-cer."

"Spencer sent this to you."

She shook her head.

Huh?

"She was h-ere."

"She was here, when?" That sneaky girl.

"Ri-ght be-fore she left."

I looked up at the screen and watched as I strummed my guitar.

How did she get this recorded?

Why did she come here alone?

Why didn't she tell me?

I wasn't mad at her. Her coming here and giving this DVD to Alyssa made me fall in love with her more.

"She is so beau-tiful Ash."

"Trust me I know." I laughed.

We watched the rest of the DVD and then we talked some more. She said she didn't want to stop talking to me because she never knew when she wouldn't be able to anymore. We worked on signing again. Of course it wasn't regular signing considering she couldn't move her fingers very well. I suggested her doing Morse code by blinking. She laughed..But I was serious. I also talked to her about electronic devices that would help her out with communicating. There were actually a lot. We looked some up on the internet. She said she would look them over with her mom.

Around 7pm she fell asleep again. I was surprised she stayed up for 5 hours. I went to look for Ms. Cooper and she was passed out on the couch. Poor woman. She had to be tired. I covered her with a blanket and walked back outside.

I had grabbed Alyssa's IPod when I was in her room. Her favorite's list had grown. After selecting the playlist and turning it on shuffle I laid my head back and let myself get lost in the music.

Around 9pm I walked back into the house. They were both still sleeping. I decided I should probably just go to sleep too. After kissing Alyssa on the forehead and whispering good night I started up the stairs. A car door shutting made me stop.

I walked back down the stairs and looked out the window.

I smiled ear to ear.

I jogged over to the door and whipped it open.

"I'm so glad you're here."

Wrapping her up in my arms I nearly squeezed the life out of her.

"Spence said she would come later in the week. She's still worried about Gram."

I nodded and pulled her back in for another hug.

"I know you would probably rather have her here but she sent me so here I am."

"Are you kidding me? Yes I would love it if Spence were here. But you are my best friend and I am so happy that you came."

"Good because as long as you need me, this is where I'll be."

I smiled, grabbed her hand and pulled her into the house.

Alyssa was going to be happy to see Miranda too.

**_Song:_**

_I Look At You- Miley Cyrus..So NOT a fan but I love the song :)_


	44. Chapter 44 I'm not leaving you

_**My sincere apologizes for the long wait. It's the holidays so it's maddness around here. A lot going on and it took a lot out of me to write this so I hope you enjoy. It's short but sweet. Thanks for your patience :)**_

_**Purps**_- Yes, you got me, I was trying to make you cry. Sorry ;)

_**browneyez44**_- I am glad you enjoy my "dj" . I take my time and try to find the perfect song and I have a very large selection on my I-pod so sometimes it takes a while. I just want it to seem very realistic, that Ashley is indeed writing the songs. Thanks for noticing :)

..**__**- Do you know how hard it is to write your name without spaces? LOL. Thanks. Glad you enjoyed.

**_noodles307_**- haha. You made me hungry talking about butter pecan ice cream, which just happens to be my fave. We can share a tub, a very large one :) Sorry for making you tear up again..maybe ;) Thanks for the hug *big hugs back*.

**_Ade77_**- Lol. I do like Italian food but Mexican is my fave.

**_toni_**- My apologizes for upsetting you. That was truly not my intention. However, the story is not done so please let me tell it. I understand perfectly why it upset you and you have every right to be angry. Ashley did make a stupid decision, which she quickly realized was stupid. I hope you are feeling better now.

**_lesbefriends_**- So glad I could send you on that emotional roller coaster ;)

**_ConnieLaxer12_**- Haha. Thanks and thanks for reviewing :)

**_I'm Burnin' Up For You Baby_**- Well thank you. Hope you enjoy another chapter in your bathtub..or not :)

**_Godlove_**- Thank you and thanks for the review.

**_Rachel2020_**- Well if you in need of a few more crying fits, you're reading the right story. lol Sorry. And you so don't need to be embarrassed, that reaction is completely normal and you aren't the only one..Hehe :) and sorry, I don't mean to tear your heart open..or maybe I do. :)

**_Ms. Mona_**- Thanks so much and thank you for reviewing. I really do appreciate it :)

**_Coachkimm_**- No, I want you to go back and review every chapter ;) Lol. One review is more than enough and I really do appreciate it. Ahhh someone who got the finger cot comment. LOL. THANK YOU. Please feel free to *happy dance* away :)

**_Hotcutii3_**- Thanks so much and thank you for reviewing.

**_SexyThang-_** Uh, thanks. lol :)

This chapter is dedicated to **_momo0424_** & **_hollymarie4_**- Thanks for being loyal readers and reviewers. :)

_I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Alyssa and Gram are mine as well._

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><p>The next week went by good; well as good as it can go. The three of us spent nearly every second Alyssa was awake together. We tried to get her outside as much as possible. It was summer in L.A. so most of the time we would wait until the night.<p>

I sat down next to her on the cushioned patio bench, pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around them.

"I wish I co-uld see the st-ars in the sky back home." Alyssa said looking up at the sky.

"Nearly every n-ight you could see thous-ands of them."

She was almost out of breath.

It took a lot out of her to speak.

If you tried to stop her she would get angry.

"_I can st-ill talk so I am going to ta-lk as much as I want." _She would yell at us.

If there was a way I could take her back home I would do it. I would do literally everything I possibly could to make her happy with the little time she had.

The chilly night air felt amazing and didn't affect me at all. I was wearing Spencer's U of M hoodie. Yep, she packed it with Miranda's things. She said if she couldn't be here to wrap her arms around me then she hoped the sweatshirt would do. I could smell her on every inch of it and it was a definite comfort.

"Are you getting cold? Do you need a blanket?"

"No." She replied still looking up at the sky.

"You're shivering Lyss." I had given her the nickname during the week. She loved it.

"I know."

"You want me to get a jacket for you?" She was noticeably shaking.

"No Ash. I wa-nt to feel the cool breeze on my a-rms. I want to feel the shi-vers run down my s-pine. I need to feel th-ese things. I need to feel things that ma-ke me feel like I'm still alive."

I pulled her face towards me by her chin and looked into her eyes.

"You are still alive Lyss and I want you to stay that way for as long as possible..I am going to get you a jacket."

"Fi-ne." She pouted like a child.

I went in the house to get a jacket and noticed Miranda on the couch talking on the phone. She was talking to Chris again. It couldn't have been easy on them with her being gone all of this time. She looked a little sad and sighed as she hung up the phone.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah. I just really want to see him." She looked down.

"Go see him. He only lives an hour and a half away. Go spend the day with him tomorrow."

She lifted her head and smiled.

"I actually already made plans to do that this weekend. We're going to spend the weekend together."

"Uh what?" Over my dead body.

"No, not like that. I am going to go home and he's going to pick me up Saturday and drop me off at night. Then I am going to meet him somewhere on Sunday."

I gave her a suspicious look and she laughed.

"I promise _MOM_, we're just going to hang out."

"You better not do anything stupid or Spence will kill me."

I grabbed Alyssa's jacket and also a blanket, and then headed back outside.

After I helped her into her jacket I draped the blanket over her legs and sat back down next to her.

She was still looking up at the sky and I was getting a little worried.

"You okay?" I asked while rubbing her arm.

"Just hav-ing one of those days."

"One of what days?"

"One of th-ose days where I start feel-ing sorry for myself. I can't help but look up to the s-ky for answers."

She finally looked down from the sky and towards me.

"Do you ever find any?"

"No." Is all she said then she looked back up at the sky.

"I'm scared Ash." She admitted in a low and hoarse voice.

I swallowed the enormous lump in my throat and quickly wiped the tear that escaped my eye.

I knew there were no words that I could say.

Tears started falling from her eyes and I sat there motionless.

Even if there were words to say, I didn't know what they were.

The only thing I could think to do was hold her hand. So I did.

"What can I do Lyss?" I asked doing my best to keep the rest of my tears from spilling.

She squeezed my hand with all of the energy she could muster up.

"You're doing it."

I wiped the tears from her face and pulled her into my arms. We sat there looking up at the dark California sky together. Both asking questions. Both not getting the answers we wanted.

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><p>The next few weeks went by very slowly. Alyssa was getting worse right before my eyes. She worked with a speech-language pathologist to help her with her communicating. We made 5x7 cards with pictures and words on them. When it had gotten to the point where she couldn't speak at all she could let us know what she wanted by pointing at pictures. And since it had become almost impossible and inscruciating to swallow, a doctor had come in and inserted a feeding tube. To make matters worse he was coming back in a couple days to hook her up to a breathing machine.<p>

Through all of this she remained strong.

I wish I could say the same of myself. I called Spencer probably 5 times a day. Most of the time just needing to hear her voice. Her voice was so comforting. All she would have to say is my name and I was instantly relaxed.

Gram was doing much better and they had finally talked her into moving in with the family. Of course she had her own stipulations… "Just keep that trifling, no good, witch of a wife anyway from me and I'll be happier than a hooker in a 5-star hotel." Gotta love Gram.

So Gram was doing better and had the Carlins to look after her and that meant that Spencer could finally come home. Oh how I have missed her. And as much as I love her U of M hoodie, I wanted so badly to feel her arms around me.

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><p>It was the 4th of July and Miranda and I were setting up for a small celebration that Alyssa had insisted on. She couldn't wait to see the fireworks and it saddened me because we both knew they would be the last she would see.<p>

I wanted this celebration to be perfect of course. Dad was coming home and he had offered to cook for us. He was so excited. Imagine that, big shot, hard ass, rock star excited about coming home to cook. I grinned to myself thinking of how my dad was secretly great at being domesticated.

It was nearly noon and my dad would be arriving very shortly. I walked into Alyssa's room just as she was wakening.

"Hey, do you want to go outside?" I asked sitting on the side of her bed.

"Sure."

I got up off the bed to retrieve the wheelchair when she placed her arm on my thigh.

"Wa-it."

"Is everything okay?" Stupid question.

"I want-ed to talk to you about someth-ing." Her voice was nearly a whisper.

"Okay."

She didn't say anything though. She just pointed over at her I-pad. I gave her a confusing look.

"Re-ad."

I grabbed it and touched the screen. There was an old article on it from Your Music Magazine; it was a site all about California's music scene.

_L.A.'s own Maria Sanford will be touring with Colbie Caillat in a 3 month, 32 city summer tour. Sanford took the place originally slated for Rock Legend Raife Davies' daughter Ashley Davies…._

I looked over at Alyssa and she had her eye brows raised in question.

"What happ-ened?"

"Nothing happened. I just changed my mine. I'm not ready for that just yet."

"Did you not go be-cause of me?" Sadness was evident in her eyes.

"No, I mean yes..and no. Look like I said, I'm not ready. And honestly yes, you are another reason I didn't go. I'm not leaving you Lyss."

She turned her head at my words. I heard her getting choked up.

"Lyss, look at me."

Slowly she turned her face back to me. A single tear trickled down her cheek onto her shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Her hand found my cheek and she caressed it softly.

"Thank y-ou."

I smiled and leaned in to kiss her forehead.

Dad showed up around 2 with about 20 grocery bags. Not kidding. After lifting me off the ground and nearly squeezing the life out of me, I introduced him to Alyssa and her mother. He talked with Alyssa for a little over a half an hour. I loved how he made her smile and laugh just being his usual goofy self. After that he got started on the cooking, chatting it up with Ms. Cooper as she helped him.

Chris showed up just before dinner and I shook my head and grinned at how cute Miranda and him were together. Don't get me wrong now…I'll still kill the kid if he hurts her.

We all sat down and enjoyed the delicious spread of every barbequed meat you could possibly imagine, potato salad, baked beans, grilled potatoes, and corn on the cob.

I felt bad that Alyssa couldn't share in the amazing meal but if she was upset about it she never showed it. She talked and laughed and smiled along with the rest of us.

After dinner was all cleaned up we all headed down to the beach. I tilted my head in awe as my dad carried Alyssa and sat her down gently on a blanket. He sat down on a blanket next to her and Ms. Cooper sat between the two of them. Hmmm, is it just me or do the two of them look really comfortable together? Huh… anyway.

We were just in time. The fireworks started and I wondered why I had never watched them from the beach before. It was an absolute, breathtakingly beautiful sight. I stood in awe as the bright colors lit up and danced across the sky. But the best sight to see was the smile spread across Alyssa's face. That sight alone was more beautiful than I had words for.

The day had turned out to be a good day. No matter what the next few weeks/months, hopefully months had in store for her; at least she had this day. A day with family and friends and laughter. A day of no worries, just fun. I had hoped that, that was what we had given her.

As I stood there watching the light show in the sky I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around my waist. I took in the familiar scent of the gorgeous blonde I was so madly in love with.

"Miss me baby?" Was whispered into my ear.

This great day had just gotten even better.

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><p><strong><em>Review if you wish. They are much appreciated :)<em>**


	45. Chapter 45 All of me

_**Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Years.**_

_I own nothing but my crazy imagination and if you don't know by now that Alyssa and Miranda are mine too then you haven't been paying attention :)_

_**This chapter is Rated M.**_

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><p><em>As I stood there watching the light show in the sky I felt a pair of warm arms wrap around my waist. I took in the familiar scent of the gorgeous blonde I was so madly in love with.<em>

_"Miss me baby?" Was whispered into my ear._

_This great day had just gotten even better._

I turned around slowly and was faced with an instant smile. A beautiful, radiant, stunning, full mouth, ear to ear smile belonging to my gorgeous girlfriend.

I didn't say anything, I just leaned in and touched her perfect lips with mine. The fireworks lit up the sky once again as the grand finale took place. I suddenly had no interest. I just wanted to kiss my girlfriend and never stop.

Everyone started clapping as the show ended and I pulled away from Spencer.

"So was that a yes?"

"What?"

"You missed me?"

"Maybe just a little bit." I held my thumb and inch away from my pointer finger to show her how much.

She smiled and shook her head. Everyone soon noticed her sudden appearance and welcomed her home. After sharing pleasantries and talking briefly about her grandmother she asked me to take a walk. I accepted and as we started to walk away I looked over at Alyssa and she winked at me. I could only grin back at her.

We walked down to the boat docks and back, talking along the way about Gram, Alyssa and the tour that almost was. By the time we got back to the house it was nearly midnight.

We stood in the moonlight just staring at each other.

"I missed you so much Spence." I whined into her mouth before pulling her into a deep kiss.

"I missed you too. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you." She rested her forehead against mine and wrapped her arms around me.

"You have been there for me. Trust me. But I am sooo happy you are finally, actually here. I need to feel you Spence. I need to feel this." Her simple touch created so much warmth and comfort.

"I'm here baby. I'm not going anywhere."

We shared another long and passionate kiss and I couldn't pull my lips away. I didn't care that I needed to breathe. I would be happy to die kissing her.

Our tongues danced like they had been partners for years, so comfortable and in sync. Our hands roaming and remembering every feeling, touch and reaction.

We both finally pulled away, hanging on desperately to our last breaths. After a quick breather I pulled her back in again. This time the kiss was sweeter, gentler, slower but with the same amount of passion.

"I love you." She whispered as she pulled away.

"I love you too Spence. So much, and I can't take being away from you anymore. I need you with me. Especially right now."

I got a bit choked up and she grabbed a hold of me and held me tight. I knew it was a matter of time before I finally let go.

Before I finally broke down.

I had been strong for far too long. Spencer was exactly what I needed right now.

"I'm here baby." She whispered over and over again in my ear.

At this point we were sitting in the sand. I had practically collapsed in her arms. All of the emotions I had been holding in were pouring out of me uncontrollably.

The damn had broken, the walls had crumbled.

I wasn't worried.

I had Spencer to help put me back together.

I don't know how long we sat there. I just knew that I had never felt more loved and at ease than right then being held tight in her arms.

She started stroking my hair and was still whispering words of comfort. It didn't matter what she said. Just the sound of her voice soothed me like nothing else ever had.

I lifted my head to look at her and she cradled my face and kissed my tears…and then my lips. It was gentle peck. Just enough to tell me everything I needed to hear without saying it.

"Thank you, I needed that."

"I know and I'm sorry."

She suddenly got up and walked towards the ocean.

"Where you going Spence?"

She didn't answer. She just stood there staring at me with a look I still couldn't figure out.

She surprised me when she grabbed the hem of her shirt and slowly pulled it up and over her head. Then before I had a chance to remember how to breath she was bending down to pull down her shorts.

Whoa!

"Uh, not that I mind because I sure as hell don't but.. What are you doing?"

Damn she looked good in the moonlight….well in any light.

"Trying to get your minds off of things…if only for tonight."

Uhhhhh….okay. I am soooo down with that.

And before I could lift my jaw completely off the ground from her strip tease, she was undoing her bra and sliding her panties off.

What's that saying? Slack-jawed. Yeah…quite the understatement here.

"You just going to sit there staring at me like a 15 year old boy or are you going to join me?"

She gave me a questioning look followed by a smirk, then turned around and ran into the water, not hesitating before plunging in.

And why am I still sitting here?

I threw my clothes off so fast it could be entered into the Guinness Book of World Records.

Of course once my feet hit the water I froze. Shit!

"Come on ya big baby." Spencer teased. "Not used to the cold huh?"

She was already shoulder deep and I glared at her.

"Come hold my hand and help me in." I begged.

"Nope. If you want me….come get me."

The tone of her voice and the look in her eyes pulled me in.

Without hesitation I moved as quickly as the water would let me and pulled her into my arms. Our lips quickly met in a searing, hard and wet kiss. I easily lifted her and she wrapped her legs around my waste and her arms around my neck. The water was freezing but I was on fire. Her warm lips found my neck and then my shoulder. She bit down gently and pulled her center into me. . She moaned loudly into the dark summer night and I hoped they couldn't hear her from the house. I didn't want anything interrupting this night.

I covered her moans with my mouth and we continued to kiss with so much passion and fire that I was sure the water surrounding us would start to boil. It had gotten to the point where it wasn't enough. I needed more.

"I need to feel you Spence." I somehow managed to get out through my panting.

She slid off of me and pulled me towards shore. I admired the skin on her backside as it glistened in the moonlight.

We found a couple blankets left out from the party and laid one out. She pulled me down with her and her lips found mine in and instant along with a hand on my breast. She kneaded a hard nipple slowly and then rolled it between her fingers. Her lips left mine and trailed down my neck, to my bare shoulder, to my chest and then my wet breasts. After paying much attention to both she laid down and pulled me on top of her.

I could stare into her eyes forever and never get tired of what I saw.

Is it possible to be this much in love with someone?

It has to be. Because_ I_ am.

"You're so beautiful Spence."

Without taking my eyes off of hers I lowered my hand slowly down her torso, past her abs and directly to where we both needed me to be. I wasn't in the mood for teasing tonight and neither was she. I quickly found her slick entrance and slid two fingers in. She gasped but never looked away.

"Oh God baby." She groaned.

I kissed her forehead lightly, then her cheek and finally her lips.

The slow and steady rhythm that I had started was soon interrupted when I felt her fingers dancing over my own center. Suddenly she was inside of me and we were both moving slowly in and out of one another. Every one of my thrusts was met with one of hers. Slow but then fast, soft but then hard. My mouth was hot on hers but we weren't kissing, just breathing and panting and moaning into each other's mouths.

She came first. She tried to keep her eyes on mine but her they squeezed shut as she threw her head back and hoarsely screamed out my name. It was so fucking hot. I followed soon after. The waves of pleasure rippling through me over and over and over again until I collapsed on top of her.

Tears streamed down my cheeks. Every time Spencer and I had made love it was so intense and beautiful. I was already an emotional wreck so it didn't take much for me to break down again.

And once again, she held me. This time no words, just warmth.

I woke to the sun shining in my face and the sound of seagulls flying above us. I was still cuddled up to Spencer and somehow fully clothed and covered with a thick blanket.

It must have been early because it was still quiet and there were only a few boats out on the water. So I curled up behind sleeping beauty and quickly fell back asleep.

_**Spencer's P.O.V.**_

I looked down at her, she was still asleep and looked so peaceful. I didn't want to wake her. My heart literally hurt for her. I know there is no way I can take away the pain she is feeling right now but I can at least try to make it a little easier. Even if only for a short time. I hope that is what I did for her last night.

I couldn't not touch her so I stroked her gorgeous brown curls and kissed her forehead. She stirred but then snuggled back into my chest. I smiled, thankful that I could be of some comfort to her.

"Can we lie here all day Spence?" She mumbled quietly into my shirt.

"Morning baby and… no." I laughed quietly.

"Pleeeeeeeeeease." She begged.

"We can't baby. I'm starving and I heard your tummy growling not too long ago."

She looked up at me with an eyebrow raised and her signature sexy smirk.

"I'm sure we can help each other out with that without actually having to get up."

I shook my head at her thoughts and sat up on the blanket.

"It's nearly after noon baby. Everyone is already up and about. Time to get up." I pulled the blanket off of her and grabbed her arms to pull her up.

Suddenly I was on my back and she was nestled in between my legs. Her mouth inches from mine.

My breath hitched and I let out a small moan as she grinded in to me.

"Ashhhh." I bit down hard on my lip as I looked up at her, her eyes so full of want and need.

"Not heeeere." I groaned out. God the things this girl did to me.

"Where?" She whispered in my ear before biting down on the lobe and then taking it in her warm mouth.

"Take me out on the water. Take me for a boat ride."

"Now?"

"Let's go eat first and see what's going on and then you can take me." Her mouth found my neck and left light kisses all over, which sent shivers all over.

"Oh I'm going to _take_ you. Over and over again until you can't _take_ anymore."

Oh God, I had to get up before I let her _take_ me right there.

I reluctantly pushed her off of me and she whined.

"Spenceeeer, you're not fair."

"Come on baby. Let's go eat and then I'm all yours."

I pulled her up off of the blanket and we walked hand in hand up the stairs to the house.

Before we got to the door she leaned over and whispered. "You better eat up baby. You're going to need the energy."

Of course Raife was cooking when we entered the house. It was past noon but he was still cooking pancakes, waffles and every other breakfast food you could possibly imagine. I wondered what it would be like to have him and my dad in the kitchen together.

"You two have a good sleep?" He asked.

"Oh yeah. I slept great." She replied. I slept great too. It felt so good to be back in her arms and vice versa.

"Yes. It was a beautiful night." I answered.

"Well I covered just about everyone's favorite, including biscuits and gravy for my Princess. Dig in."

I grabbed a plate and started filling it. Ashley paused.

"I'm going to go check on Alyssa first. I'll be right back."

I nodded and kissed her cheek.

She walked out of the room and I continued to fill my plate. I was still worried about her but there was nothing I could do. I was so happy that Alyssa had her.

"So where is everyone?" I asked Raife as I sat down with my plate.

"If you're wondering about Miranda, she left a little while ago. Said they were going shopping or something. She should be back soon."

"Oh, okay thanks."

He laughed at my response.

"I don't think you need to worry. He seems like a good kid."

"You think so."

He nodded. "I am a great judge of character."

"Well what happened with my mom then?" Ashley interrupted coming back into the kitchen.

"You're mom wasn't always a bitch." He said without looking up.

"I find that hard to believe." She picked up a piece of bacon off my plate and sat down next to me.

"It's true. Now get some food Princess." I guess he was done talking about her.

She got up and grabbed a plate of food. When she sat back down she gave me a small smile.

"How is she?"

"Sleeping. I guess she had a rough night." She looked away and I grabbed her hand.

"We can stay here today. We don't need to go out." With that she whipped her head around.

"No. We're going out. Just not for the whole day." She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed it.

"I need to be with you today." She whispered so only I could hear.

"Okay." I caressed her cheek with my free hand.

I turned and saw Raife smiling at us. I gave him one back and he went back to cooking.

After eating a huge breakfast we both went and freshened up. When I came back down, Ashley was in Alyssa's room. I could vaguely hear the conversation.

"Go out and ha-ve fun. Don't wo-worry about me. Go!" Alyssa sounded upset.

"I don't want to leave you like this. We can hang out and watch a movie or write something or.."

"I'm ti-tired Ash. D-on't fee-el like it." She was clearly struggling to get her words out.

"Okay. But I am going to stay until you fall asleep. Is that alright?" I just wanted to go in there and hold her.

"Su-re. But th-en…..Spen-cer."

"Okay I got ya."

I walked outside and sat down on the lounger. It was time for another guilt session for myself. I felt bad for Ashley's pain. I felt like I caused it. It was my fault she met Alyssa to begin with. It was my fault she had to go through the pain of losing someone she loved. It was all my fault. I made her go in there that day. I told her she could handle it. I told her she was just what Alyssa needed.

I was right.

It always went back to this, Alyssa needed Ashley. And Ashley in her own way needed her back. What if I didn't send her into that hospital room that day? How would Alyssa being doing today? Would she still be here? Because of me she had Ashley and Ashley made her happy. She was good at that. It was so natural for her.

If I had never done what I had did, would I have fallen in love with Ashley? Would she have kissed me that day in the elevator? Would she have changed for the better?

Would Alyssa have gotten the chance to write her song? Would she be sad and lonely when she passed? Would she be scared?

After all of this it came down to one thing.

Those two needed each other.

I needed to stop these ridiculous thoughts. I did the right thing.

A half hour had passed and Ashley came outside with a small bag.

"Come on. Let's go."

She held her hand out and I took it. We started walking back down to the beach.

"You okay baby?" I stopped and pulled her back.

"I will be, as long as you're here with me."

I cradled her face and kissed her softly.

"I promise you Ashley. I'm not going anywhere."

She closed her eyes and I laid my forehead on hers.

"Where would I go? You're my home Ash and I've been so homesick."

"I've got to spend a total of a week with you in the last 2 months. I can't do it anymore Spence. I can't handle being away from you for another second let alone a day even."

"You don't have to. I'm here."

Her eyes still showed disbelief. She looked down and I pulled her face back up to me.

"Look at me Ashley." She raised her eyes to meet mine.

"I love you. Besides that wonderful week that we got to spend together I have been a complete mess too. _I am not _going anywhere. I know how much you need me right now Ash."

She did. And it was painfully showing. She was a mess right now. Who could blame her? Watching someone you love slowly die before your eyes has got to be the hardest thing to see.

I just hoped I could be enough for her. She was going to be even more of a wreck when Alyssa passed.

"I'm sorry. Come on. Let's just go get on the boat." She replied showing no emotion.

We had made it about a mile off shore when she suddenly stopped the boat and dropped the anchor. Before I knew it I was in her arms and her lips were on mine.

"I need you so much Spence. I need to feel you, touch you, taste you.. all of you." The need was evident in her kiss and there was no way I could ever say no to her.

She stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes. How could I ever say no to those eyes?

"I need to make love to you."

Her hands left my hips and started unbuttoning my shirt.

I grabbed them both and kissed them before pulling her down to the cabin of the boat.

She needed me and if this was the only way to help her right now, I was going to give her me. All of me.

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><p><em><strong>If you didn't get me a gift for christmas... I like reviews :)<strong>_


	46. Chapter 46 A sky full of stars

_**First off I would like to apologize for the wait. Peace and quiet and inspiration have been hard to come by these days. I would also like to apologize to anyone who has just read the entire story without the pleasure of getting to read Chapter 30. I still don't understand it's sudden disappearance and sadly did not have it saved anywhere else. I will try to re-write it as soon as I get a chance**. _

_**goshtperfect-** Well I am glad I could make you fall in love with Spencer all over again. Thanks :)_

_**sgarc12**- Glad you enjoyed the drool worthy, sexy spencer chapter. Thanks for the advice and the semi-beta-ing :)_

_**purplelover92**- Well thanks for the review even though you did get me an awesome xmas present ;) I do love writing the 'hot scenes' but probably not as much as you like reading them. haha_

_**JayJayxo**- Hell to the yes...thank you :)_

_**naranga87**- Well thank you Lazy Shadow Reader *shakes head*. I am so glad that you thought this chap was Amaze-balls and I am proud.. so thanks again :)_

_**Twittyarg**- So sorry to hear about your sister. And sadly no, it is not just my imagination writing these chapters. The experience is truly heartbreaking. I hope I can continue to make this story 'real' for you. Thanks :)_

_**Ade77**- I am so happy you have enjoyed the story.. I hope you continue to read even after this chap :)_

_**ashleynspencer44eve**r- Lol. Thanks :)_

_**momo0424**- As always...thanks :)_

_**imaferrari**- Sorry to hear about your sister. Hope I can continue to make this as "true to life" as possible. Thanks._

_**Toni**- Really sorry to hear about your cousin's baby. That is horrible. Thank you for taking the time to read and review :)_

_**roofio13**- Well I am glad that it caught your attention and you are enjoying it. Thanks so much for the review :)_

_**RandomMind**- It must have sucked to be without your computer and ipod at the same time. Ugh..I would be lost. Lol. Glad you got them fixed. And thanks :)_

**_Thanks everyone for reading and reviewing. Apprecitate it sooooo much :)_**

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><p><em>I own nothing but my imagination.<em>

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><p><em>What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others. – Pericles<em>

Over the last 2 months Alyssa has taught us a lot_. _She taught us all very meaningful lessons. She taught us love. She taught us strength. She taught us courage. She taught us that life is short…don't forget to live it.

I made promises to her in those last 8 weeks. Promises I would do anything and everything to live by.

"_Ash, don't ev-er give up on wh-at you love to do." She put her hand over her heart._

"_I won't Lyss. I'm too stubborn." She gave me a smile and a look that said she knew all too well about my stubbornness._

"_Prom-ise me A-Ash." She moved her hand from her heart and placed it over my hand__._

"_I promise." I gave her hand a gentle squeeze._

Alyssa worried about her mom. She was worried she would be alone after she passed. She worried that her mom would have nothing since she gave everything up for her.

"_Ash?" She whispered, her voice cracking._

"_Yeah sweetie." I was in a chair next to her bed reading while she slept, which was more and more every day._

"_My m-mom." A tear fell from her eye and I wiped it quickly._

"_What about your mom?"_

"_Ma-ake sure she's o-kay. Ple-ease." She was full on crying now and I pushed back my own tears fighting to break through._

"_Of course, you don't need to worry about her. I'll make sure she is taken care of. I promise."_

She wanted me to follow my dreams. She wanted me to go out there and show them what I had, who I was.

"_You ha-ve to to-ur Ash. No-one will b-uy your rec-cord if they don't kn-ow who y-you are." _

"_Really Lyss, Record?" She shook her head and rolled her eyes._

"_Do-on't change the sub-ject."_

"_I don't know if I can. Three months of non stop performing. I don't know if I can handle that. Plus, I love Spencer too much to be away from her for that long_." _I couldn't last a couple weeks let alone months._

"_Trust me A-ash. You'll reg-ret it later on. You'll always w-onder, what if?" She was right and I knew it but I was weak. Weak and in love._

_She knew what I was thinking. She said I always had the same corny look on my face when I thought of Spencer._

"_She lov__-__es you like cr-razy Ash. She'll be th__-__ere when you g-et back."_

"_Fine. I'll tour."_

_She gave me a questioning look._

"_I promise."_

And then came the big day. Alyssa's 18th birthday. Yes, she made it. Of course she didn't want us making a big deal out of it and we all understood that. I mean what do you get a girl who is dying? So we had a small party in her room. There wasn't a cake, just a few balloons and her loved ones. I asked her what she wanted for her birthday.

"_Ever-y-one t-o be ha-ppy f-or a d-day."_

Her words were very hard to understand but I had been around her enough to know what she was saying. It wouldn't be too long until she couldn't speak.

We watched home videos of her as a child and I sang.. a lot. I knew it was what she wanted. That was very evident by the smile on her face.

She fell asleep half way through her party so that gave me time to set up a few things.

About 10 minutes after she woke up I walked into the room and started lighting the candles I had scattered around her room. After they were all lit everyone walked into the room and the lights were turned off.

We couldn't give her a cake. But we could give her the candles. Spencer handed me my guitar. I started the song off and everyone followed after the first line.

_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday to you,_

_Happy Birthday dear Alyssa,_

_Happy Birthday to you_.

Now you may ask how it could have been a happy birthday for Alyssa but if you could see her face you would see that it was.

She weakly held her shaking arms out and everyone one by one gave her a birthday hug and kiss.

After some time with everyone and then some after that with her mom I made me way into her room. She was falling asleep again but opened her eyes when she saw me walk in.

"_H-hey__,__ wa-want…. say th-thank….y-ou." It killed me to see how hard she struggled to get that out and in a way that I could understand. Every time a moment like this would occur I held strong. I had to, for her. Sometimes she could read me pretty well though._

"_It's o-okay." She reassured me._

"_I'm sorry Lyss. I know you…need me to be strong…. I'm trying." It was hard for me to get that out too. I was getting choked up and could no longer hold back the tears._

"_No. J-just nee-need you." _

"_What am I ..going to do when you're ….gone?" _

"_I'll be u-up with the s-stars. Ju-st look up and I'll b-be th-ere."_

_I climbed up onto her bed and put my arm around her. She sighed and closed her eyes._

"_Sleep Lyss. I know you're tired." I rested my chin on the top of her head and closed my eyes._

"_St-stay." She whispered._

"_I'm not going anywhere."_

A couple days later Spence and I were sitting in her room chatting. Well Spence and I were chatting. Alyssa was exhausted from trying to talk; she mostly used the letter board. I sat on one side of her and Spencer on the other. We were laughing and having a good time. The DVD of me that Spence had given to Alyssa was playing in the background. My elbows were resting on her bed and she took one of my hands in her weak grasp and then held out her hand for Spencer. She looked at me and smiled and then over at Spencer.

"_Th-ank .. y-you." _

_Spencer looked confused._

"_For what sweetie?" _

_She didn't say anything; she just joined all of our hands and smiled at me again._

She was thanking Spence for… me.

Spence and I both climbed up onto the bed and we wrapped our arms around her and just held each other. It wasn't a sad hug. It was a happy hug. No tears. Just smiles.

About a week later Ms. Cooper and I sat down with her. She wasn't talking at all now. It was too much of a struggle to get out one word. And that one word usually was unrecognizable. She was barely using any form of communication now. She was too tired.

"_Hey Lyss." I sat down and slid my hand into hers. She gave it a small squeeze, one I could barely feel._

"_Your mom and I have some great news." She looked over at her mom then back to me._

"_We talked a lot about it over the last month and we've decided to start an organization. One that helps children who have a disease. A fatal disease. To help cope and make them happy with the time they have. My dad is going to help out with the financial part of it and your mom… your mom is going to run it."_

_Her lips lifted up slightly. Just enough to be recognized as a smile. Her hand moved up and down off of her lap signaling to get the picture cards. I grabbed the stack of cards and held them up as I sifted through them. _

_She groaned a "stop"._

_I stopped and flipped the card over._

_Happy_

"_Good. We just have a few things to discuss. Like a name and where we are going to run it from and …." I was interrupted by her movement, she wanted the cards again. _

_Once again I sifted through them until she stopped me again._

_I love you_

"_I love you too Lyss. I love you too." _

Over the last couple months my dad had become very close with Ms. Cooper. It was weird seeing my dad affectionate with her. Even if it was just a hug or an arm around her it seemed to give her great comfort. I was glad she had him to help her through this. My dad had left for a couple days, only saying that he had business to take care of. I wondered what kind of business would be more important than being here with us. I was kind of upset but he said he would be back before we knew it and that it was necessary that he left.

He was back in less than two days but he wasn't alone. He was with a man who looked vaguely familiar to me. I knew I had seen him before somewhere. When he hugged Ms. Cooper I realized right away who he was.

Alyssa's father.

I shook my head in disgust as he walked up to me.

"_You must be Ashley. Janet has told me a lot about you."_

_He held his hand out. I ignored it and crossed my arms._

_I looked over at my dad and he just shrugged._

"_Okay then. I guess that is deserved." _

_I just stood my ground and glared at him._

"_So where is she?" He asked Ms. Cooper._

_Oh no. No fucking way. _

_It was time to speak up._

"_No way. You're not going in there."_

_I walked over to the door and stood in front of it. If he wanted to get in there he was going to have to get past me and I wasn't budging._

"_Ashley, please. He needs to see his daughter and she needs to see him." Ms. Cooper pleaded with me._

"_I can't let him in there. She doesn't need him. He'll just upset her."_

_I looked back at him._

"_You're not getting in there."_

"_Ashley I know I have been a horrible father…"_

_I of course interrupted him._

"_Don't forget a disgustingly pathetic excuse for a human being."_

_I wasn't one to hold back and I sure wasn't going to now._

"_I know I don't deserve to see her. I am exactly what you said I am. I don't deny it and I wouldn't be here if it weren't for Alyssa asking me to be here."_

"_What? No. Why would she want to see you? You abandoned her and her mom. Where the hell have you been the past 5 years? She has gone through hell, where have you been?" I was yelling at this point. On the brink of explosion. I wanted to hit the jerk square in the face._

"_Ashley sweetie, Alyssa asked to see him. I couldn't deny her that. Please move and let him in."_

_Why would Alyssa want to see him? _

_I continued to stand my ground in front of her door._

_I looked at my dad again. He was motioning with his head for me to move._

_After about another minute or so I finally moved._

_In that minute or so I thought about my life. My mother._

_If I were in Alyssa's place, would I want to see my mother one last time?_

_The answer came quick and clear._

_Yes._

Spencer and I went for a long walk that day. I had to get out of the house and away from her dad. Before the end of the day I was sure I was going to hurt him. The need to protect Alyssa was natural to me. She was like my little sister and I was afraid he was going to hurt her.

"_I just wanted to punch him Spence." _

_We had walked probably a half a mile before we had taken a seat in the sand._

"_I know baby, but he is her father and she wanted to see him." She tangled her hand in mine and then looked at it as if she were still amazed they fit so well._

"_I don't know what I would do without you right now Spence." I leaned over and kissed her shoulder letting my lips linger there for a bit before laying my head down on it._

"_I love you so much Spencer."_

_She kissed my head and then leaned hers onto mine._

"_I love you too baby."_

Over the next week I had no choice but to try and get along with Alyssa's dad. Apparently he wasn't going anywhere. After dinner one night he followed me out to the patio.

"_She has every right to hate me, as do you. I only did what I thought was right. I stayed away for her." He leaned against the railing as I took a seat on the steps._

_I wasn't going to comment. I didn't want to fight with him._

"_I am an alcoholic and I stayed away because I am weak and pathetic."_

"_I do believe we already covered that." My smart mouth finally opened._

_He ignored me._

"_Alyssa needed strong people in her life. I couldn't be that for her. I would've just made things worse. So I left. I left and drowned myself in bottle after bottle until I was living on the street."_

"_I feel so bad for you."_

_He ignored me again._

"_I didn't want to come back into Alyssa's life until I was better, stronger."_

"_Well it's a little late now don't you think?"_

_He looked down. Finally not ignoring my words._

"_I get that you wanted to be strong for her. I get that every day. But if you knew your daughter at all you would know that she is strong enough for the both of you. She didn't need you to be strong for her..she just needed you with her. She didn't need you to be the perfect dad, she just needed her dad. I know she needed some kind of closure with you and that is all fine and dandy but that doesn't mean that I have to like you."_

_With that I got up and walked back into the house. I was upset and mad and I needed to Spencer._

"_Ashley?" Ms. Cooper called on me from Alyssa's room._

_When I entered she was sitting next to her bed. She barely left Alyssa's side now. _

"_Hey." _

"_Do you think you could sing a song for her?"_

"_Are you sure that is what she wants?" I knew she loved when I sang to her but I didn't know what to sing._

"_I think she would make you sing to her every day if she could." _

"_I don't know about that. She would probably get tired of my voice."_

_Ms. Cooper shook her head. _

"_Alyssa if you would like Ashley to sing you a song, tell her." _

_The crazy thing about ALS was that you lose all ability to move and talk but it does not affect any of the senses or the mind. I don't know if that made me feel better or worse. Thinking about Alyssa stuck inside of herself tore me up inside__._

"_Uhhggh" Alyssa groaned. I guess that was a yes._

"_Okay okay." I just had to find a song to sing. I grabbed her I-pod off the side table and checked her playlist. It was all Beatles songs. I had turned her into a fan over the last couple months._

_She patiently waited as I scrolled through the songs. Ms. Cooper cleared her throat and as I looked over at her she mouthed._

"_Something happy."_

_Something happy… hmmmm. _

_Ms. Cooper walked over to where I was standing and pointed at a song on the I-pod._

"_It's my favorite and she loves it too."_

_Well then that is settled._

_I picked up my guitar and tuned it just right. Then I sat down at the foot of the bed and started strumming._

_*Oh yeah, I´ll tell you something_

_I think you´ll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_Oh, please, say to me_

_You´ll let me be your man_

_and please, say to me_

_You´ll let me hold your hand_

_Now let me hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_And when I touch you i feel happy, inside_

_It´s such a feeling_

_That my love_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_Yeah you, got that something_

_I think you´ll understand_

_When I say that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_And when I touch you I feel happy, inside_

_It´s such a feeling_

_That my love_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_I can't hide_

_Yeah you, got that something_

_I think you´ll understand_

_When I feel that something_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand_

_I wanna hold your hand._

_She wasn't smiling because she couldn't but I could see the smile in her eyes. And that was enough for me._

_I set my guitar down, went to the front of the bed and wrapped her in my arms._

"_I love you Alyssa. Every time I get up on that stage… It will be for you." _

I would never forget that moment with Alyssa and her mom. It will be clear and present in my mind for the rest of my life.

September was fast approaching and Spencer had to make a decision. She was supposed to go back to UCLA for the new school year but she didn't want to leave me. I told her that she should go. I insisted that she go. But she knew me too well. I needed her. I couldn't be without her. Especially right now. The problem was that the University needed her too and she couldn't lose her job. So she decided to do 4 classes a week and take the hour plus drive back and forth every day. It was not going to be easy on her.

The last weekend of August we got some surprise visitors. Chelsea, Madi and …Casey. I was so happy to see them. All of them. We spent the entire weekend together just reminiscing and laughing and just having a good time. Well as good of time I could possibly have considering. I have to be honest it was a little awkward with Spencer and Casey being in the same room but they were both mature about it. Casey was back to being Casey, my old best friend and I realized how much I really missed her.

While Spence, Miranda, Madi and Chelsea were engrossed in a conversation, Casey found me on the beach. I came out here a lot, alone. I just needed to be by myself.

"_Want some company?" She said while sitting down next to me in the sand. _

"_Sure. Of course."_

_She would have stayed even if I had said no. _

"_I hope you don't mind me being here. When Miranda called I was unsure but she made it seem like you could use your friends right now. Are we still friends?"_

"_I'm happy that you're here Case. I've missed you. Really. And yes, were still friends. We'll always be friends."_

I took her hand that was playing with the sand and held it tight in mine. Casey had always been a comfort for me since we were kids. Whenever I got into it with my mom or worried and wondered about my dad she always knew how to calm me down. I felt that sense of calm in that moment with her. It was a good feeling to have my friend back.

They left on a Sunday night and afterwards Alyssa's doctor had to come make an emergency visit. Something was wrong. She was having an even harder time breathing, a fever had spiked and she was groaning a lot.

You don't know how scared I was standing in the door way while he examined her. I had never seen her like this and I couldn't take it. I turned around and nearly knocked Spencer over in the process. She grabbed a hold of me and I lost it in her arms.

The doctor left after about 2 hours.

Alyssa had developed pneumonia.

Apparently it was very common.

After that the days went by slow and felt like they would never end. Alyssa was suffering, it was the worst I had ever seen her. All I could do was sit there and offer words of comfort, a hand on the arm, a stroke through the hair, a damp cloth. Anything to try and make her feel just a little bit better. I just needed her to know I was there and that I wasn't leaving. She needed to know she wasn't alone.

I couldn't sleep. I was too afraid. I sat by her bedside when her mom needed a break. Spencer and Miranda sat with me a lot of the time. Most of the time we talked to her. Some of the time we just sat there and read. I made sure there was always music playing in the back ground. I knew Alyssa wanted that. And of course I sang to her. Every night, I sang to her. Whether she was awake or not, I knew she could hear me.

It was Labor Day weekend and Spence had just left for home. She had a lot of preparing to do before the start of the school year. She was only gone a couple hours and I missed her like crazy. She said she would be back later that night and that made it a little easier.

Miranda and I took a walk down the shoreline. It was a beautiful September night and I could not believe the amount of stars that were in the sky. I took in the sight and immediately thought of Alyssa. I wished she could see the sky tonight. I wished she were here with us on this beach enjoying the beauty and good company.

"We should get back. I want to talk to Alyssa. I want to tell her about the stars."

We walked back to the house and when we reached the steps her father was walking down them. He walked right past us with a blank look on his face. Something was wrong. I ran up the stairs and into the house. Nothing had prepared me for what I was about to walk in on.

My dad holding on to a hysterical Ms. Cooper who was standing over a lifeless Alyssa.

"She's gone." Ms. Cooper cried.

I think I was in shock for a few minutes…then my knees gave out and I collapsed. Luckily Miranda was there to catch me.

I don't remember a lot of what happened next.

I just remember the tears.

And the sick feeling in my stomach.

And the warmth of my dad's arms around me.

I sobbed into his arms for what seemed like hours. After I pulled myself together a bit I noticed Miranda sitting next to Alyssa, holding on to hand with both of hers. I stood up and wiped my eyes.

"Thanks Dad. I'm okay now. Janet needs you." Her whole world was just taken from her.

"Are you sure Princess?" His voice cracked and it was easy to see that he needed comfort as well.

"Yeah. I have Miranda. Take care of Janet."

He kissed my forehead and pulled me into a hug.

"I'm sorry Ashley. I know she meant a lot to you."

I just nodded.

He made his way back to the grief stricken mother who had still not left Alyssa's side and wrapped his arms around her.

I felt the tears coming on again and pushed them back. I could cry later.

Approaching the bed I closed my eyes. Visions of happy times and a laughing Alyssa overflowed my thoughts. I pursed my lips and took a deep breathe while a few tears escaped from behind my eyes and made their way down my cheeks.

A soft and warm hand slid into mine and I looked down into another set of eyes that were sad and heartbroken. Miranda squeezed my hand before standing up and offering me her chair.

I sat down and she stood behind me with her hands on my shoulders. Caressing them comfortingly.

She looked the same. Like nothing had changed. Like she was just sleeping.

We all sat there for probably an hour, mostly in silence. Mr. Cooper joined us and stood beside me. He looked so sad and lost and I didn't stop my hand when it reached for his.

About another half hour passed when we heard a door shut and within seconds Spencer was standing in the door way. Her hand went to her mouth and instantly her eyes teared up. I was off my chair in a matter of seconds and pulling her into my arms.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry." She whispered into my ear.

I stayed in Spencer's arms for a long time. We sat down on the couch and I laid my head on her chest. The sound of her heartbeat and the touch of her hand on my back was such a comforting feeling. I looked over towards the window and remembered the stars I had seen not too long ago.

Before I knew it I was standing on the patio staring up at those stars. There were so many of them. I thought back to that day with Alyssa.

"_I'll be u-up with the s-stars. Ju-st look up and I'll b-be th-ere."_

She was up there now. And I truly believed she was the reason for all of the stars out tonight.

I looked to the sky one last time with a smile.

"Good bye Alyssa. I miss you already."

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><p><em>This chapter is dedicated to all of you that have lost someone you love to any form of disease, to all of you who have lost someone you love far too soon.<em>

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><p>Reviews=Inspiration<p>

**_Song:_**

I wanna hold your hand- The Beatles (thanx 2-pint)


	47. Chapter 47 The aftermath and a surprise

**_I would just like to thank everyone who read and especially the ones who took the time to review. Your responses truly did touch my heart. So THANK YOU._**

_**taymm15**_- Well thank you and as a writer that is exactly what I want to hear. I appreciate it.

**_Chimera452Bast_**- Well I appreciate you reading the story and so sorry to hear about your friend. I was very difficult to write this, it took me quite some time. It had to be done though and I am glad I can put some knowledge of this disease out there. Thank you again.

**_Lesbefriends_**- Your wish is my command :)

**_Ade77_**- Sooo happy that you didn't stop reading. :)

**_NNN_**- Thank you for chapter 30 :)

**_latenightbeautiful_**- I really don't try to 'toy' with peoples emotions. lol. I just write from the heart and my crazy imagination. And thank you..I feel that way about a few ff's myself.

**_Scars_**- Thank you so much, especially for that last part.

**_SoNfan110_**- I know how much it sucks to get attached to a character and for them to be taken away somehow and for that I am sorry. Thanks for the review.

_**luvmeh8meucan'tchangeme**_- ALS is a very scary disease in the fact that it affects the body so fast and there isn't a cure. I hope you got good news with your...

**_Cobrastryke_**- Thank you and thank you :)

**_To the Stars and Moon Above_**- I am sorry for making you cry so much and I am happy that you gave this story a chance. Thanks for that :)

**_Naomi_**- Sorry that you got so attached to Alyssa and then I took her away. It really did have to be done. Thank you and thanks for reviewing.

**_blueeyes06_**- Well sadly I have been through the experience myself so I know every emotion very well. I am sorry to hear about your loss, I know it has to be hard to read something like this considering how hard it was to write. Thank you for the review.

**_FFReviews_**- Thank you and I truly do believe that too. And thank you for being a life saver. You truly don't know how happy that made me..and relieved.

**_Supernaye_**- Thank you so much :)

**TorontoHoney**- Don't thank me , thank the two readers who sent it to me. I am glad you got a chance to read it..It was a very important chapter.

**_Toni_**- I am especially happy that you thought so and I truly do know what you mean.

**_hollymarie4_**- I'm so sorry hun. Thanks for still reviewing though...you really didn't have to but thanks.

**_Normorn-_** You're welcome but it would have never happened if it weren't for the readers who sent me the chapter. And I will do my best to keep writing on here. It is a huge comittment. Thank you for your words.

**_Kitty Murking_**- Haha..I love Marianas Trench and thank you so much for thinking of this story as epic..wow..means a lot.

**_Lizzy_**- I would never consider anyone selfish for not reviewing. So no worries. I do appreciate the reviews though very much. And reviews like yours are such an inspiration. Thank you so much for your words.

**Thanks also to my good friends who inspire me daily and get on me about updating. :)**

_As I am sure you know by now..I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda, Gram and Alyssa are mine as well._

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><p><strong><em>2 Months Later<em>**

The weeks following Alyssa's death went fast. I went home after her funeral but returned to the beach house within a few days. I needed to be at the beach house. I couldn't leave Ms. Cooper, she was devastated and having a very difficult time.

As was I.

Spencer of course was amazing and always found the right things to say and do. She and Miranda would come up on the weekends and the moment I caught sight of her an instant calm would wash over me. Our nights together were almost always passionate and intense. She always made me forget and only think of her. I needed that. I needed her, in every way imaginable. And she was always everything I needed her to be.

Miranda had also been just what I had needed. My best friend. Always making me laugh by just being her normal goofy self.

Every Sunday when they left to go home a part of me wanted to go with them.

But I couldn't.

Ms. Cooper barely left Alyssa's room and when she did I would find her out on the beach staring up at the sky. I too would find myself constantly looking up at the sky, especially those nights where the stars were so visible. I would also find myself talking to Alyssa. Although nights like that often brought a smile to my face; I would almost always cry myself to sleep.

My dad left to finally finish his last tour. Luckily he had loyal fans. He would call every day, sometimes 2 or 3 times to talk to me and Ms. Cooper. I wished he could be here for her right now, I know he did too.

During the last 2 months I had thrown myself into writing. I had so many emotions in me just begging to be let out and practically jumping onto the paper. At the end of October I got a call from my dad's new manager telling me about a new tour opportunity. It must have been fate, at least that is the way I saw it. The act I would be opening for was none other than Paramore. I wanted to say yes as soon as he told me, but past experiences told me I had to talk to Spencer about it first. Hey, I was still learning. The tour started in early December and would run all the way into June. Six months. Six months away from Spencer. Six months of non-stop performing. Six months of traveling. I wasn't so sure I could handle that but I had to. For me and for Alyssa.

It was mid-November and I was on my way to L.A. to surprise Spencer. When I arrived she was still at the University so I headed up there. When I got to the campus I was so lost. Wow. It took me nearly a half hour to find her class. She was finishing up her last class of the day. I stood partially in the door way so that she wouldn't see me. Seeing her like this made me miss her being my teacher. She had so much passion and knowledge of literature and she made her students want to learn more and actually participate. Just look at me, I missed the first 5 months of her class and still ended with a B. And I know what you are thinking but you are wrong. I earned that B.

My eyes were still attached to her, taking in her beauty. Her knee length beige skirt showed off her lean and delicious legs. She began to wear skirts more often after I told her how much I loved them on her. She was wearing a light blue blouse with just enough cleavage to make me drool at just the little peak she was giving. Her hair was up in a ponytail with the tail full of light curls. The signature black glasses perched on top of her head.

I could never get tired of looking at this woman. Luckily I could look at her anytime I wanted. And have her any way that I wanted.

My dirty thoughts were interrupted when I was nearly trampled at the door by her students leaving the classroom. I must have looked like a pervert just standing there staring at her. Oh well.

After the room cleared out I made my way in. She was facing the windows when I entered.

"Well I got a good look at all of your students and luckily for me there aren't any hot, young, sexy brunettes among them."

She whipped around with the biggest smile planted on her face.

"Luckily for you, there is only one hot, young, sexy brunette I'm interested in."

I walked up to her and pulled her into a hug.

"God I miss you." I held on tight to her. Her scent and the warmth of her body kept me from pulling away.

"I miss you too baby. What are you doing here?" She pulled back and took my hands in hers.

"I came to take my incredibly stunning and.." I paused to give her a once over and then unconsciously licked my lips. She shook her head and rolled her eyes. " too sexy for words girlfriend out to dinner for her birthday."

That earned me another ear to ear Spencer Carlin smile and a bone crushing hug.

"You remembered. Awe thanks baby."

"Of course I remembered. I remember everything you tell me Spence. Every word."

I reached my hand up to caress her cheek when she moved abruptly.

"Hey Spence, are we still on for tonight?" Came a familiar voice from behind me.

I turned around and faced the voice that belonged to none other than.. Stacey?

"Ashley?..Hi." She looked rather shocked.

"Hi…Stacey?" She chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, it's Stacey. My sister is Sandy." Oh good. I hate getting names wrong. Especially since I knew that she was a friend of Spencer's. Speaking of Spencer, she still hadn't said anything.

Stacey looked a bit confused. Probably a mixture of me being there and Spencer's sudden loss for words.

"Uh, I was thinking of taking some classes here and just needed some advice .."

"It's okay Ashley." Spencer interrupted me. She placed her arm around my lower back.

"Stacey ..Ashley is..my girlfriend." Consider me shocked. I can't believe she told her.

Consider Stacey shocked as well.

"WOW,wow. Really? Wait, I kind of had a feeling. Wow. Really?"

Spencer and I both laughed.

"Really Stace. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. Wait, you said you had a feeling? What kind of feeling?"

"Well there was some kind of hidden, unspoken..thing going on with you two at Ashley's performance I came to."

And here I thought we were being inconspicuous.

"Actually we just became official over the summer." I don't know why I lied but I had a feeling Spencer didn't want her colleague and friend to think badly of her.

I turned around and gave her a smile and she gave me her own smile back saying 'thank you'.

"Well you two must have been totally crushing on each other then." She put her hand on her hip and smirked at the two of us.

"Yeah, we definitely were." I say still looking at Spencer who started blushing.

"Wow Spencer, that's a nice shade on you." Stacey joked.

"Well I am happy for you two. Even though I had no clue that Spence here was into girls." She said followed by a confused look.

"Neither did I Stace. It was quite the surprise. A nice surprise." She said the last part quietly while locking eyes with me.

"You two are adorable. You know I knew Spence was seeing someone. She walked around here constantly smiling, especially after she got off the phone..with you I am guessing."

Spencer blushed again, turned around and walked to her desk. She put some papers in her bag and walked back to us.

"Can we get out of here before I get any more embarrassed?" She grabbed my hand.

"So I take it plans are changing for tonight then?" Stacey asked.

"No. No. Don't change your plans. If it's okay I will just join you guys." I wanted Spencer to myself but I could wait until after.

"If that's what you want you are very welcome to join us. Spence?"

"Of course. I would like nothing more than to spend my birthday with my friends and ..my girlfriend." She squeezed my hand tighter.

I walked her out to her car and then took off to take care of some things. They were meeting at Pure around 8 o'clock. Spence was going to meet me there at 6. I had a special dinner planned for her. When I got to the club I was greeted by Johnny and Mark. After an awkward hug from Johnny and a literally breath taking one from Mark I sat down and explained to them what I wanted to do for Spencer. They were happy to help.

Spencer showed up around a little after 6. The look on her face when she walked in was pure surprise and happiness. The look on my face when I saw what she was wearing…what's that word again? Slack-jawed? Yeah, understatement. She was wearing tight, light blue jeans with a black corset top. Her hair was up and she wore long diamond earrings. She looked so damn sexy, more than usual. The entire club was dark except for some candles that lit up the stage and a table in the middle of the dance floor. She was ordered by our waiter for the night to sit down at the table. Mark looked so funny in his tux. Like a giant penguin. Somehow I held in my laughter from the side of the stage. He poured her a glass of wine and then left. She took a few sips and then looked around anxiously.

I finally walked onto the stage and sat down at the piano. She spotted me right away and smiled adoringly.

"There you are." She said her soft, sexy voice.

"Here I am."

"What are you doing up there?"

"It's part of your birthday present. I wrote a song for you about a month ago. A song..that means a lot to me and I only want you to hear it. I love you so much Spence. Happy birthday."

I took a sip from my water bottle, set it down next to me and cleared my throat.

"Oh and by the way. You look so…" I tried to find a word that would describe her tonight but there wasn't one. "You look.." I shook my head. She laughed.

"Thank you baby. You look incredible too." She tilted her head and gave me that smile that was only reserved for me.

"Thanks." I replied with a slight blush and she laughed again.

I looked back at the piano and my fingers started moving over the keys, my girlfriend watching my every move with such admiration.

I let go.

_I've waited a hundred years__,_

_But I'd wait a million more..for you__,_

_Nothing prepared me for__,_

_What the privilege of being yours__..__ would do__._

_If I had only felt the warmth within your touch__,_

_If I had only seen how you smile when you blush__,_

_Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough__,_

_Well I would have known__,_

_What I was living for__..__ all along__,_

_What I've been living for__._

_Your love is my turning page__,_

_Where only the sweetest words __..__remain__,_

_Every kiss is a cursive line__,_

_Every touch is a redefining__..__ phrase__,_

_I surrender who I've been for who you are__,_

_For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart__,_

_If I had only felt how it feels to be yours__,_

_Well I would have known__,_

_What I've been living for__..__ all along__,_

_What I've been living for__._

_Though we're tethered, to the story we must tell__,_

_When I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well__,_

_With the whisper, we will tame the vicious scenes__,_

_Like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees__._

_If I had only felt how it feels to be yours,_

_Well I would have known,_

_What I've been living for__..__ all along,_

_What I've been living for._

I had gotten so lost in the song I didn't look at her until I hit the last key on the piano. When I finally looked down at her I noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. I jumped off the stage and kneeled down in front of her. I cradled her face and smoothed away her tears with my thumbs before leaning in to kiss her softly. Like every kissed I shared with her there was so much passion. Even in the little pecks there was a great amount of intensity. I pulled away and she wiped away the tears that were lying on my own face. I hadn't even realized they were there until then.

"That was so beautiful Ash."

"I love you. Forever Spence, that's what I want with you. No matter what happens in the future …I know we can handle it. Together. Thank you. Thank you for loving me and being exactly what I needed these last couple months. I know it hasn't been easy."

"Shhhh Ash. You don't have to thank me. I love you and I want nothing more than to be there when you need me. Because where you are …is always where I want to be. And you're right, it hasn't been easy. But like you said, we can handle anything as long as we do it together." She leaned in and kissed me, the kiss was soft but she deepened it quickly. I stood up and sat down on top of her, straddling her in the chair. She moaned right away and her hands found the back of my thighs pulling me closer. My lips left hers and latched on to her neck. My God she tasted so good.

"Ash I want you so badly." She groaned into the air. I lowered my hand slowly and cupped her through her tight jeans. She gasped and her hands that were in my hair pulled hard.

"Ahem." What the hell?

"Ahem. Ashley?" I'm going to kill someone.

I looked up to see a nervous Mark.

"Dinner is here and you should really get…get started on it. The club is going to open in an hour."

I sighed and looked down at Spence who once again looked embarrassed.

"Okay. Just give us 5 minutes and then bring it out."

He nodded and then walked back to the kitchen.

"Sorry Baby. You're just gonna have to wait til later for a piece of this." I wiggled my eye brows and she laughed and pinched my sides.

"I guess I will have to wait then. But I am sure it will be totally worth it."

"Of course. Only the best for my baby on her birthday." She bit her lip and I couldn't help but lean down and kiss her again. Forget about Mark; forget about dinner, I wanted her.

Just as my tongue entered her mouth again she pushed me back.

"Sorry baby. You're just going to have to wait until later for a piece of this." She smirked and I pouted.

"I just sang you that beautiful song. Can't I at least get a little piece?"

She shook her head and pursed her lips.

"I am starving." It was her turn to pout.

I climbed off of her and took my own seat.

"Fine. I will feed you now..but dessert is totally on you." I winked.

She was about to respond when Mark made his way out with a tray full of food. He set a plate down in front of both of us.

"If you beautiful ladies need anything just holler."

"Thanks Mark." We said in unison.

He nodded and walked away.

Spencer looked down curiously at her plate of food covered by a lid.

"Part 2 of your birthday present… Go ahead."

She lifted off the lid and her eyes lit up.

"Oh my. Are you kidding me? How did you know?" I loved her reaction. She was so happy.

"I told you that I wanted to know everything about my girlfriend."

"I never told you."

"I have my ways of finding things out Spence. Plus your brother is like my new BFF and your mom and dad loooove me." I gave her a cheesy smile.

"Of course they do. I knew they would once they got to know you."

"Well I am glad they like me because I kinda sorta plan on sticking around for a long time."

"Good."

"Good."

"Can I eat now?"

"Yeah." I chuckled.

I sat and watched as she took a few bites of her Turkey dinner. Apparently it was her ultimate favorite meal. Sliced turkey, mashed potatoes, corn and stuffing, with gravy. I was amazed and honestly a little turned on at the sounds she was making.

"Oh my God Ash this tastes just like my dad's. Where did you get all of this? Who made it?"

"I can't give away my secrets. Just enjoy it birthday girl."

She hesitantly put her fork down and then grabbed my hand across the table.

"Thank you Ashley. This birthday has been amazing." She said sincerely.

"Well it ain't over yet babe."

We finished up with ten minutes to spare and helped Johnny and Mark clean up. I told Spencer to go sit down and relax but she insisted on helping. She's so sweet.

The doors opened and people started pouring in so we made our way up to our private room and waited for Spencer's friends. I called Miranda and she was going to meet us a little after 9. She wanted to wait for Chris to get off work.

We sat down in the booth and I pulled her closer to me. Of course that led to a tad bit of a make out session until we were interrupted by loud laughing and yelling making its way towards us.

"Hey girls. Sorry to interrupt." Stacey winked at me and I chuckled. We both stood up and welcomed her and Sandy who entered right behind her. The lovely, flirty Kat followed Sandy and when she laid eyes on me she gave me the most seductive look I have ever seen.

Uh oh.

"Well hello Ashley. It is…quite the pleasure seeing you here. Are you sure it's not _my_ birthday?" She almost purred.

"Down kitty Kat. I do believe that the gorgeous Ashley is taken."

Thank you Stacey.

"Oh right. Where is this girlfriend of yours this time? Did she let you out of her sight again?"

I looked down at Spencer who had taken a seat. She was finding all of this amusing.

Kat started to get too close for my liking and I gave Spencer my 'do something' look.

"Actually her girlfriend _is_ here." Spencer finally spoke up.

She yanked my arm and pulled me down so that I was sitting on her lap.

Kat's eyes bugged out.

"Shut up!. No way!"

Spencer slid her arms around my waste and rested her chin on my shoulder with a smirky smile.

"SpenCER. I don't believe it. When did this happen? And how?"

Kat finally took a seat and waited for an answer.

"It happened a while back and I am pretty certain you can figure out how."

"Well yeah I mean Ashley is a damn hot but did I miss something here? When did you go gay?"

We all laughed.

"Well I guess you can say 'I went gay' when I first met her. But of course nothing happened until she turned 18."

"Wow. Well you dirty girl you. I can't believe you didn't tell me. I can't believe you didn't slap me after all of the things I said to you that night." I vaguely remembered Miranda saying something about that.

"Yeah well I really, really wanted to." Kat laughed and Spencer joined her.

Kat shook her head and turned back to Spencer with yet another of her seductive stares.

"Well gee Spence, if I knew you were into girls I would have put the moves on your sexy ass a long time ago." Why am I not surprised she was attracted to my girlfriend.

"Sorry Kat. I have only had eyes for one woman." She shrugged and took a sip of her drink.

"Well if you guys ever think about a three way give me a call."

What?

You could say Spencer was surprised at the offer. She spit her drink out everywhere. Mostly on Kat.

"Thanks for the offer but I think we're good." I let her down gently.

She just shrugged as she continued to clean up Spencer's mess.

We all sat around and talked for a good half an hour before I had to get ready for Spencer's next surprise.

"I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I whispered into her ear. She just nodded and returned to the conversation.

I made my way down the stairs and to the kitchen where I found Mark.

"Is it ready?" I asked him.

"Yep. It's right over there." He pointed towards the counter behind me.

"Okay. Wait for my signal and then bring it out to me."

"Sure thing."

"Oh and Ash." He stopped me before I walked back out.

"You're one lucky girl. Da-yum that girl is one sexy piece of ass."

I shook my head at him disgusted.

"Would you shut up ya big penguin." And with that I walked out as he stood there looking at his outfit questioningly.

The band that was playing took a scheduled break and I walked up onto the stage and straight to the microphone.

"How's everyone doing tonight?" I noticed a lot of familiar faces right away.

"I know, I know. I haven't been on this stage for far too long and you are actually going to have to wait a bit longer. Sorry." A bunch of 'boo's' were let out and I laughed.

"Tonight I am up here to wish a beautiful and amazing woman a very happy birthday." I looked up to the top floor and everyone was up against the railing. My birthday girl smiling down at me.

"Everyone say 'happy birthday Spencer'." The crowd repeated my words and it was rather awesome. Her faced turned beat red of course as she shook her head and smiled.

Mark walked out with the birthday cake lit up with 25 candles. I took it from him and faced the mic once again.

"Will everyone join me in singing 'happy birthday'?" They all cheered.

"Happy birthday.." I started off and everyone joined. As I made my way to the stairs and up to Spencer the whole place sang along. When I finally reached her the song had ended but I kept going.

"Happy birthday my dear Spencer. Happy birthday to you."

Her face held a mixture of happiness and tears. She wiped them and then put her hands over her mouth. More tears fell.

"Make a wish baby."

She nodded and closed her eyes.

Her gorgeous face above the candle lit cake was beyond radiant. I was so fucking lucky.

She finally opened her eyes and looked into mine as she blew out her candles. Everyone applauded. She then took the cake from me and handed it to Miranda who must have just shown up. Then without a word she moved towards me, cradled my face in her hands and kissed me. And when I say she kissed me, I mean she kissed me. Hard and deep and with everyone watching. I drowned out the applauding and cheering and pulled her hips into me, deepening the kiss even more.

At that moment it was just us in the club. I don't know how long we kissed but eventually we ran out of breath and had no choice but to stop. She pulled away slowly but was still so close.

"Do you know how much I love you?" She whispered.

"I do, and I love you just as much." My hand caressed her cheek and she leaned into it.

"Can you two quit being cute for two minutes so we can cut into that cake?" Leave it to Miranda to interrupt.. again.

"Well it's good to see you too best friend." I let go of Spencer and grabbed a hold of Miranda.

"Glad you could make it."

"Of course. Where else would I be?" I hugged her again, tighter this time.

"Okay Ash, I can't breathe." She groaned.

"Sorry." I pulled away. "I have just missed you."

"I've missed you too ya big goob."

Great. We're back to that again?

I rolled my eyes and she smiled a full teeth smile which caused me to shake my head yet again.

Spencer put her arms around the two of us and squeezed us closer to her.

"How about we get some cake girls?"

An hour later everyone was on the dance floor. Everyone but me and the birthday girl. She was sprawled out over the booth with her feet in my lap. They were hurting because she had been on her feet most of the day and I was massaging them for her.

"Thank you for everything today Ash. You really are an amazing girlfriend."

"Don't act so surprised." I feigned being hurt.

"You sure you don't want to dance?" She asked me.

"Nah. You're feet are hurting. It's cool."

"My feet are fine. Let's go dance." She begged.

I really just wanted to take her home and make love to her all night long.

"How about we just get out of here?" I suggested.

"You want to leave?"

"Yeah, I have more surprises for you." I couldn't wait to give her, her gift.

She sat up and crawled onto my lap.

"How about this, we say goodbye to everyone, you take me home and we have our own private little dance session."

"I like the sound of that." I raised my eye brows.

"Good because you are going to dance… for me." She purred into my ear.

"I'm what? Huh?"

"I want you to dance for me Ashley. You aren't going to deny the birthday girl are you?" She slowly grinded into me while biting her lip again.

Uh? Um? Oh boy!

"Let's go say goodbye to everyone." I was up off the chair in a flash dragging her behind me.

It had turned out to be a perfect birthday for Spence and it was about to get a whole lot better. It's true what they say…'you have to give to get' and I was sooo ready to get.

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><p><strong><em>Thanks for reading. Review if you wish<em>**.

_**Song:**_

_Turning Page- Sleeping At Last_


	48. Chapter 48 Skin

**_Okay so I felt bad for leaving ya hanging a couple chapters ago and well for the sad chapters too. I hope I have more than made up for it with this chapter. It was supposed to be a lot longer but after writing the first 3,000 words or so I kind of found it hard to concentrate. Lol. So here is a short and very RATED M chapter for ya._**

**_Enjoy._**

_As always I own nothing but my crazy and very vivid imagination and a few characters that are not in this chapter._

_Again... **Rated M**_

* * *

><p><em> <strong><span>Spencer's P.O.V.<span>**_

_"Sit_ down." She ordered me once we entered the room. She insisted we stay at a hotel down the street from the club. I guess she couldn't handle the long drive back to my place. Who am I kidding? I couldn't handle it either.

I sat down on a chair in the middle of the very large suite. As I looked around in awe she poured us some wine. Where it came from I have no idea and I really didn't care. The way she was looking at me while she sauntered over with a glass in each hand had me imagining what was about to take place.

She sat down on the table in front of me and took a sip of her own while handing me mine. I took it and slowly placed it to my lips before taking a small sip, my hand shaking a bit.

"Why are you so nervous Spence? I am the one who has to do the sexy dance." She chuckled and set her glass down but not before taking a large gulp.

Before I knew it she was on her knees and between mine. I set my glass down and leaned forward to take her face in my hands.

"You don't have to if you feel uncomfortable." I said before kissing her lips softly.

Her hands ran smoothly up my legs and around my back. She pulled me into her and I let out a soft moan.

"I'm not uncomfortable. I want to do it." She kissed my bare shoulder and let her tongue run up over the length of my neck and finally reached my ear.

"But I have conditions." She whispered.

Just her words whispered in my ears sent shivers throughout my body.

"And w-what are they?" She chuckled into my neck before biting down gently and then lifted her face to look me in the eyes.

"First off, no talking." She said seriously.

"Wait, wh.." She put two fingers over my lips.

"I said no talking."

Oh wow! If I wasn't turned on already (which I so was) I definitely was now.

I nodded and she moved her fingers off of my lips, down my chin and my neck, between my breast, over my abs and finally came to a stop on my center. She cupped me gently and kissed me hard. My hands automatically found her hair and she pulled away fast.

"The second condition..no touching." She has got to be kidding me. So not fair. I was so screwed.

She stood up and looked around before walking over to the window curtain and pulling off the material that was holding it to the side. She walked back over.

"Stand up and turn around." She ordered me again. I really liked this side of her.

I did as I was told and she pulled my hands around to my back and tied them together. Oh shit. She wasn't kidding.

After turning me back around and helping me back into the chair she smirked.

"Are you clear on the conditions? Just nod." I nodded with pursed lips.

She kneeled down in front of me once again and cradled my face before leaning in to kiss me. The kiss was soft and gentle and surprising. She pulled away and looked into my eyes.

"Good. Because if you talk, I will stop."

I just nodded.

"And if by some chance you break free and try to touch me, I will stop."

Again I nodded.

Once again she leaned in to whisper in my ear.

"Trust me baby, you are not going to want me to stop."

Gulp!

She chuckled again and stood up. Then walked to the light switch and dimmed the lights. Picking up her I-phone off the table she played with it for a bit and then I heard the music start.

This was actually going to happen.

She walked back towards me and let down her hair, eyeing me seductively the entire time.

Wow.

These conditions were going to be harder than I thought.

_The mood is set,_

_So you already know what's next._

_TV on blast,_

_Turn it down,_

_Turn it down._

_Don't want it to clash,_

_With my body screaming out. Nooo_

_I know you hearin' it, ohhh_

_You got me moaning now._

_I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh._

_I got a secret imma drop em to the floor, oh._

With her eyes still on mine she began to sway. Her hips gliding and her hands roaming. A hand found her hair slowly combing through it and the other started on her abs and slid down over her hip hanging tight jeans down to her center and then back up almost as slowly. I had a sudden urge to cross my legs and she smirked at me. I started moving my wrists together, I didn't know how long I could go without touching her and she just started.

She must have figured out what I was doing, she started shaking her head. I quickly stopped.

_No teasin,_

_You waited long enough._

_Go deep,_

_Imma throw it at ya,_

_Can't catch it._

_Don't hold back,_

_You know I like it rough._

_Know I'm feelin ya, huh._

_Know you liking it, huh._

_So why you standing over there with ya clothes on,_

_Baby strip down for me,_

_Go on take em off._

_Don't worry baby,_

_Imma meet you half way,_

_Cause I know you wanna see me__,_

Oh God! Leave it to Ashley to pick this song. I was getting hot just listening to it.

Both of her hands were on her abs as she slowly slid them up her torso slightly raising her shirt. Tease!

Then they ran over her breast and into her hair and then back down.

Why did I agree to this?

My entire body was on fire and the aching between my legs was nearly unbearable. I started trying to free my wrists again but stopped when she…stopped.

She raised her eyebrows at me. "Bad girl Spence, do you want me to stop?"

I wanted to say yes so bad. I just wanted her..now. But then she started to lift her shirt up and I found myself shaking my head 'no'.

She smirked again and then slowly pulled her shirt up revealing her perfect abs and black laced bra.

_Almost there,_

_So baby don't stop what you're doing. uhhuhuh_

_softer than a motha boy,_

_I know you wanna touch._

_Breathing down my neck,_

_I can tell ya wanna - shhhh_

_Nooo-oooh_

_And now you want it like, ooooh-oh_

_Want you to feel it now._

_I got a secret that I wanna show you, oh._

_I got a secret Imma drop em to the floor, oh._

She tossed her shirt over towards me and then turned around. Her hips glided from side to side again as her jean clad ass moved so perfectly in front of me. How badly I wanted to reach out and grab it. How badly I wanted her to lose the jeans.

She turned back around and walked slowly over to me. Stopping just in front of me she moved her hands down to the button on her jeans and popped it.

_So why you standing over there with ya clothes on,_

_Baby strip down for me,_

_Go on take em off._

_Don't worry baby,_

_Imma meet you half way,_

_Cause I know you wanna see me._

Then almost teasingly, she pulled the zipper down and opened the flaps. Swaying her hips back and forth she kept her eyes on me. Her arms moved up her body before finding her hair and then she raised them in the air. Her gorgeous body grinded slowly towards the ground and then back up.

I was biting my bottom lip so hard I was about to draw blood and I was so wet for her it wasn't even funny.

She turned her back to me once again and then suddenly her jeans were being pulled down and over her black panties.

Again..Gulp!

Once they were off completely she bent over and teasingly played with the sides of her panties, pulling them down slightly and then back up. All the while with her head turned, her eyes so provocative.

_No heels,_

_No shirt,_

_No skirt,_

_All I'm in is just skin._

_No jeans,_

_Take em off,_

_Wanna feel your skin._

_You a beast, oh._

_You know that I like that._

_Come on baby,_

_All I wanna see you in is just skin._

She turned back around and her hips started swaying again before making their way towards me. She was back between my legs and I looked up at her almost begging. Begging to touch her, to feel her, to taste her. Begging for her to take away the ache between my legs.

Turning around again she lowered herself on to me with her hands on my knees. I let out a load gasp when her ass connected with my center and she grinded into me.

My insides were screaming. I don't know what it was about being with Ashley that made me want to curse but everything in me just shouted every profanity known to man.

She grinded down and then leaned back into me without stopping the movement on my center.

FUCK!

My mouth was desperate to find some part of her skin but she wouldn't stop moving and then before I knew it she was sliding off of me.

Noooo! Come back.

And she did.

She climbed on top of me and raised her hands above her head before repeating her actions again. Grinding into me and making me lose any control that I still had left.

_All in baby,_

_Don't hold nothing back._

_Wanna take control,_

_Aint nothing wrong with that._

_Say you liking how I feel,_

_Ain't gotta tell me that._

_Just put your skin baby on my skin_

Her arms lowered and she reached out to touch my lips with her fingers, tracing them before sliding them into my mouth and then pulling them out.

I wanted her to stop. I wanted the torture to end. But I bit my tongue.

I couldn't take the risk of her stopping ..everything.

My eyes went wide and a whimper left my lips when she slid those same fingers into her panties and then into herself.

Oh My GOD!

My very hot, sexy, gorgeous girlfriend was pleasuring herself on top of me and all I could do was sit there and watch.

Her eyes were on me, boring into me, full of lust, and telling me so many things.

I looked back into hers with nothing but desperation.

She stopped her motions and licked her lips. Her hand slid out of her panties and she hesitated but then touched her fingers to my lips again. I parted them and closed my eyes. I could instantly taste her on my tongue and I heard her moan as I sucked on her fingers.

That was it..I couldn't take it anymore. I wiggled and shifted my wrists until they were finally free and I grabbed her by her hair and pulled her down to me. I kissed her hard and sloppy but with so much passion and intensity that I thought I was going to explode right there.

All I wanna see you in is just skin.

_All I wanna see you in is just skin._

_All I wanna see you in is just skin._

_All I wanna see you in_

_All I wanna see you in is your skin, oh._

Our tongues touched and we moaned into each other's mouths like it was the first time they had met. My hands found her back and undid the clasp on her bra. I dragged my fingernails up her back and over her shoulders, and then pulled the straps down. I wanted my mouth on her everywhere and I pulled her up by her ass so that her breasts were level with my face. I wasted no time taking a hard nipple into my mouth but spent plenty of time licking, biting, sucking and soothing each one before licking my way up to her lips and kissing her again.

_No heels,_

_No shirt,_

_No skirt,_

_All I'm in is just skin._

_No jeans,_

_Take em off,_

_Wanna feel your skin._

_You a beast, oh._

_You know that I like that._

_Come on baby,_

_All I wanna see you in is just skin._

I needed more. The taste of her skin on my tongue was intoxicating. My mouth left hers and latched on to her neck while my hand moved down to her panties.

"No baby." Came out of her mouth even raspier that normal.

She grabbed my hand and brought it to her lips, kissing it before sliding off of me and pulling me up.

"It's your birthday baby. It's all about you." She leaned in and kissed me softly before pulling me into the bedroom.

We stopped at the foot of the bed and she turned to face me. Her hand caressed my cheek as she looked deeply into my eyes.

"I love you." It came out quietly and hoarsely.

"I love you too baby. Now would you please stop torturing me and fucking make love to me."

She gave her signature Ashley Davies smirk and spun me around. I gasped as her soft hands touched my bare shoulders and made their way down my back and to the zipper of my corset. She slowly slid it down and it fell from my body. My strapless bra was removed next and quickly I felt her hands snake around my sides and cup my breast. Her mouth was hot on my shoulders and made its way up my neck and then back down. I threw my head back and let out the breath I was holding.

"Ashley..please." It came out as a desperate plea but it was really a demand. I was so done being teased. I needed her to touch me, to be inside of me..now.

Suddenly I didn't feel her anymore and then I felt a tug. I opened my eyes to see her on her knees in front of me. She popped the button on my jeans and then quickly dragged the zipper down before pulling my jeans down my legs. I kicked myself out of them and in no time she was ripping my panties off of me and flinging them across the room. Her mouth was instantly on me, her tongue dipping in and out.

Oh God!

This was not going to take long.

"Fuck Spence. You are so fucking wet."

"Uh huuuh." Is all I could manage to get out.

Her warm tongue felt so good. I was close already and my legs couldn't take it anymore.

"Ashhh. Bed."

She stood up, grabbed onto the back of my legs and picked me up.

"Hold on."

Quickly she carried me to the side of the bed and set me down. I slid myself onto the bed and pulled her on top of me. Our lips connected instantly, it was desperate and rough. Her knee was pushing into my center, rubbing it with every thrust. Her lips left mine and worked on my neck before trailing down to my breast. Her warm mouth covered a nipple and I jerked and moaned at the sensation.

"Ash. Please."

She looked up at me with her mouth still on my breast and moved to the other nipple licking it slowly while staring at me.

I ran my hands through her hair and then pulled her back up to me.

After kissing her quickly, I begged once again.

"What do you want baby?" She replied.

"You know what I want. Please Ash. I can't take it anymore."

"Tell me." She whispered. Her fingers traced my lips and then trailed down my neck and kept going. She stopped on my abs.

"Tell me."

She just loved to torture me.

"I want your fingers deep inside of me. I want you to make me cum baby. Please." I had never begged this much in my life. I had never wanted something so badly in my life.

Her fingernails scraped my stomach as they trailed lower and lower until finally reaching their destination. No more teasing. Her fingers entered me and I gasped and tugged on her hair. I let out a deep moan that I was sure awakened the entire floor of the hotel.

She wasted no time finding a rhythm as her thumb brushed up against my clit with every thrust. The sensation came fast and it built up faster. I couldn't help but pant into her mouth that was hot on mine.

After adding another finger she quickened the pace and I knew it wouldn't be long. My legs started shaking uncontrollably and my heart started beating fast and then it hit me. My nails dug into her back as my body convulsed. Waves of unbelievable pleasure spread through me over and over again until I had no energy left in me.

I let go of her and let my body collapse back onto the bed. She slowly slid out of me and began kissing my chest, neck and finally my face.

"You okay baby?"

I couldn't catch my breath, I was still panting loudly.

"Yesss." I was better than okay, just completely exhausted.

She chuckled into my ear before kissing my cheek and lying down beside me.

I rolled over into her and her arms surrounded me in an instant holding me tight to her chest.

"Go to sleep baby." She whispered before kissing my head.

"No. I'm okay. Just give me a minute." I said sleepily. I was so tired but I couldn't sleep knowing that I couldn't repay the favor considering everything she did for me tonight. Oh God that dance. I would be wet for weeks thinking about it.

"I'll give you as long as you need. Just sleep for a bit okay?" I wanted to argue but I just didn't have the energy. I was spent.

"Thank you Ash for...everything." I mumbled into her chest.

"You're welcome Spence. Now rest up…you're going to need your energy for the morning." She chuckled and I let out a small laugh of my own.

"Mmmm. Sounds good baby." I felt it coming over me. Sleep. And the last thing I remember hearing was.

"Happy Birthday Spencer."

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><p><em><strong>Review if you wish<strong> _:)

_**Song:**_

_Skin- Rihanna_


	49. Chapter 49 Back at one

_**Well I am glad most of you enjoyed the last chapter. Sadly there are only 2 left. Maaaaaybe 3. We'll see. Thanks again for reading and for those of you that reviewed.**_

_**TorontoHoney**_- Yes yes. You must listen to the song while reading. Ha.

**_Steph_**- Yes I know how much you love your Sexy Spence. I have givin you a LOT of S.S. it was time for some Sexy Ashley. Droool!

**_luvmeh8meucan'tchangeme_**- Glad you enjoyed. lol. Don't feel bad about not updating. Do it at your own pace. We all know it's a lot of work.

**_TwittyArg_**- No worries about not reviewing. It's all good. Sorry I made you cry so much. So how did the plan work with your girl? Sounded like the perfect night. Who could say no to that? lol

**_Purps_**- You don't hate me. You love me. I do agree...way better than the couch scene. Sorry S.

**_Lesbefriends_**- Glad you enjoyed. Haha. I don't think I could have possibly made it longer or else I would have needed a cold shower. lol. I like the Neyo song too. Skin was just perfect and I think it was better to have a girl singing.

**_Godlove_**- Well thank you.

**_naranga87_**- ting-a-lishious indeed!

**_victorial117-_** Haha..glad you enjoyed!

**_FFReviews_**- I think we are all going to expect this for our birthdays. haha. Exactly..why wait?

**_goshtperfect_**- Haha..hope your computer didn't overheat. And have a drink or two for me.

**_ashleynspencer44eve_**r- Lol. Exactly the kind of reaction I was hoping for.

**_momo0424_**- Fuckin epic..I love it. One of my fave songs at the moment. Gotta thanks Purps for that.

**_Ade77-_** So happy I could render you speechless. Lol. Glad you enjoyed !

**_YurTeddyBear_**- Well thank you for not being silent for once and reviewing. I appreciate it immensly. And thank you for the comments. Yes Skin is def. a new sex song... for a lot of us. Haha.

**_Avril _**- for some reason your username does not show up when I save it...hmm? Well thank you for the 'badass' comment. When you gonna update?

_I own nothing but my imagination. _

* * *

><p>We stayed in bed until a little after noon. Making love, cuddling, laughing, talking and…massaging. Mmmm. Last night was one of the most amazing nights of my life. Dancing for her had turned me on just as much as it did her. I was more than happy to give her the best birthday she had ever had..and I wasn't done with the surprises.<p>

Room service arrived around 1 o'clock. I had planned on bringing her breakfast in bed but we got a little….distracted. Throwing on a hotel robe I collected the tray and headed back in the room to waken sleeping beauty.

"Hey baby, time to get up."

I set the tray on the side table.

"ughhhhhhhhh." She mumbled with her face in the pillow.

I climbed onto the bed and laid on top of her. My front pressing into her back.

"Come on Spence. I have some more surprises for you." I whispered in her ear.

She turned her face so she could speak.

"I don't think my body can handle any more of your surprises Ash." She said followed by a laugh.

"I was talking about food baby. But if you want more of those kind of surprises you need to get up and eat. You'll need some more energy."

I climbed off of her and she finally turned around. I bit my lip and tried to suppress a moan at the sight of her bare chest. It was amazing how it still affected me so much seeing her naked body.

She blushed of course. Something I could still do in any given moment was make her blush. She truly did not know how beautiful she was.

"So what did you bring me?" She asked, face still beat red.

"Hold on." I walked over to the chair and pulled off my shirt that was draped over it.

"Put this on please." I handed it to her and she laughed.

After pulling it over her head she pulled it to her nose and sniffed it.

"Mmmmmm."

"Spence? Food?" I chuckled.

"Sorry. I'm ready."

I set the tray down on her lap and lifted off the lid on the plate.

Waffles, pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, a banana nut muffin and fruit.

"Uh, you are going to help me with this right?" She looked up at me with wide eyes.

"Of course I'm going to help you." I lifted a strawberry to my mouth and slowly sucked on it before biting down.

She glared at me.

Then she dipped her finger in the syrup and slid her tongue out to lick it off before sliding it into her mouth and moaning.

Fuck!

I pushed the tray off of her and attacked her mouth. The taste of syrup lingered on her tongue as I sucked it into my mouth.

My phone ringing in the distance was the last thing on my mind. Her hands were wild in my hair, tugging, scaping, pulling me closer to her.

Needless to say we didn't end up leaving the hotel until after 4pm. I had some surprises waiting for her at her house. I hoped the surprises were still there.

We pulled up to the bungalow around 4:30 and I couldn't wait to see the look on Spencer's face when she saw her next surprise.

Before we got to the door I pulled her by the arm and into a kiss. Holding her face I deepened the kiss and she grabbed onto my hips and pulled me even closer.

We were both nearly out of breath but neither one of us was willing to let go.

The door ripped open and we were practically attacked by an excited Miranda.

"Finally. Geez. We've been waiting for-ev-er." She whined as she held us both in her tight grasp.

"We've?" Spencer asked confused.

"Yes, we've." Miranda let go of me and pulled Spencer into the house.

Sitting on her couch and very close I might add were her parents. Glen sat on the floor with little Jack and Gram in the lazy-boy reading a book.

Her eyes went wide and she covered her mouth.

"Happy birthday Spence." Her dad was the first to say. He stood up and walked over to us, wrapping her in a warm hug. Her mother followed and did the same.

"Happy Birthday Spencer. We needed some time away and figured why not visit the sunshine state and of course our lovely daughter?"

"I can't believe you guys are here. And Gram, should you even be traveling already?"

Gram finally made her way over to us and Spencer pulled her into a hug as well.

"Oh I am fine pumpkin. Doc says I'm as healthy as a horse." Gram looked just as happy to see Spencer as she did to see her. I was so excited that she could make the trip. I couldn't wait to see her too.

"And you my dear. Come here." Gram gave me a surprisingly tight hug and when she pulled back she grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"I see you're still making my Spencer happy." She said and then looked to Spence.

"She is." My amazing girlfriend replied with her glassy eyes lingering on mine.

"Good. Now when are we going to eat because I am famished."

Spencer smiled wide and then leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Thank you." She said while caressing my cheek softly.

After sharing some pleasentries with everyone we all sat down for an early dinner. Mr. Carlin prepared it of course. Ravioli's again. He remembered how much I loved them. They had all brought some gifts for Spencer and you could see how overwhelmed and excited she was with all of this. She did not expect it at all. I gave my gift to her last. It was in a small envelope and she looked at it curiously before finally opening it.

"Oh Ash. Really?" She looked like she was about to cry.

She jumped out of her seat and threw herself into me.

"Thank you so much baby. For everything." She kissed me softly.

"I love you so much." It was me who kissed her this time. Soft and slow and passionate. We didn't care that we were not alone.

"Well aren't you too just disgustingly sweet?"

We ignored Glen and gave each other another kiss before finally pulling away.

"So are you going to come with me?" She asked looking down at her tickets.

"Of course I am baby. But Belle better be as hot in this play as she was in the movie." I gave her a big cheesy smile which of course got me a shake of the head and a roll of the eyes.

Spencer and her mom got dessert ready while Mr. C, Miranda and Glen played Wii bowling. Gram had fallen asleep in the chair and Jack, well Jack had found something really interesting to play with…Me. I got down on the floor and he crawled over to me. To say I was surprised was an understatement. I looked over at Glen with amazement but he was too engrossed in whipping his dad's butt.

"Hey Jacky." I picked him up and sat him on my lap and he immediately grabbed my nose.

"Ouch." I cried and he laughed. There was nothing more heartwarming then hearing a baby laugh. Of course he continued to do it again and again.

I stood up taking Jack with me and walked into Spencer's office. Setting Jack down on the floor I walked over to the corner and grabbed a guitar that I had left here.

"You want me to sing you a song Jacky?" I don't know if he understood me but he started clapping. I think he recognized the guitar and remembered that music comes from it because as soon as I put it in place he started swaying. Too cute for words. I sat down on the floor in front of him and he jumped excitingly.

I remembered how much he loved Old McDonald and really that was one of the only kids songs I knew so I started off with that.

It was difficult to sing the song and play the guitar considering Jack wanted to play the guitar too and kept trying to grab it from me but I got through the entire ,nearly never ending song and was surprised at the applause I received.

Everyone and I mean everyone was standing behind me clapping. I felt a little embarrassed.

"Ashley that was wonderful. You have an amazing voice."

"Thanks Paula." I leaned the guitar up against the desk and scooped Jack up.

"She's right. That was pretty amazing." Mr. C added.

"Thanks, I think Jack liked it." I smiled at Jack and he grabbed my nose again. What is it with babies and grabbing noses?

"Well maybe you can sing for all of us. I would love to hear another song." How could I say no to the dragon lady? I didn't want to piss her off. It was hard enough for her to get over the fact that I was a girl. The fact that I am only 18, I believe still bothered her. She seemed a bit unsure of us still.

"Sure. Um, what do you want me to sing?" I handed Jack to Glen and was a little surprised when he was reluctant to let me go.

"Sing us something you wrote for Spencer." Her mom replied. Maybe she wasn't as bothered by our relationship as I thought.

"I can do that." I had more than enough songs that I had written for my girlfriend. Some of them she hadn't even heard yet.

We all walked into the living room and everyone had a seat.

"Okay well this is a song that I just recently wrote and I wrote it as a piano song so bear with me for a minute."

I tuned the guitar and played a few strings trying to get it right. I was a little nervous with her parents and Gram there but I didn't plan on looking at them. The song was for Spencer and she had never heard it. I would just focus on her. That wouldn't be hard at all.

I started off slowly strumming the guitar trying to get the right rhthym. When it finally came I started the first line.

_It's undeniable that we should be together__,_

_It's unbelievable how I used to say that I'd fall never__,_

_The basis is need to know if you don't know just how I feel__,_

_Then let me show you now that I'm for real__,_

_If all things in time, time will reveal, yeah_

_One, you're like a dream come true__,_

_Two, just wanna be with you__,_

_Three, girl, it's plain to see__,_

_That you're the only one for me__,_

_And four, repeat steps one through three__,_

_Five, make you fall in love with me__,_

_If ever I believe my work is done__,_

_Then I'll start back at one, yeah yeah_

Spencer leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and rested her chin on her hands. Her smile was half hidden by her hands but her eyes…her azure eyes were oh so alluring. Uh.

I cleared my throat and continued.

_It's so incredible, the way things work themselves out__,_

_And all emotional once you know what it's all about, hey_

_And undesirable for us to be apart__,_

_I never would've made it very far__,_

_'Cause you know you got the keys to my heart__,_

_'Cause, one, you're like a dream come true__,_

_Two, just wanna be with you__,_

_Three, girl, it's plain to see__,_

_That you're the only one for me__,_

_And four, repeat steps one through three__,_

_Five, make you fall in love with me__,_

_If ever I believe my work is done__,_

_Then I'll start back at one__,_

_Say farewell to the dark of night, I see the coming of the sun__,_

_I feel like a little child whose life has just begun__,_

_You came and breathed new life into this lonely heart of mine__,_

_You threw out the lifeline just in the nick of time__,_

_One, you're like a dream come true__,_

_Two, just wanna be with you__,_

_Three, girl, it's plain to see__,_

_That you're the only one for me__,_

_And four, repeat steps one through three__,_

_Five, make you fall in love with me__,_

_If ever I believe my work is done__,_

_Then I'll start back at one__._

Before I even had a chance to put the guitar down Spencer was wrapping her arms around me. Her family was clapping around us and I finally felt like maybe we were completley accepted. Not just by words but by actions. Especially her mom's actions. She was crying through a smile. Tears of happiness.

"I'll never get used to that." Spencer said as we sat on her porch later that night. It was a bit chilly and I wrapped my arms around her when I felt her shiver.

"Used to what?"

"You singing to me."

"Good. I don't want you to get used to it." I leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

"I want you to feel like it's the first time every time I sing to you. I want you to feel special and loved and …like you're the only woman in the world for me."

She turned slightly in my arms and kissed me. Just a sweet, soft and short kiss. I lifted my hand to her cheek and caressed it.

"Because you are you know." She really was. I had no doubt in my mind about that.

"I do know. And I know how lucky that makes me."

"Well duh!"

She chuckled and shook her head at me.

"Now that is something I am rather used to."

"What?"

"Your cockiness."

"Well sorry but you only have yourself to blame for that."

"Really? Me? And why is that?"

"Because you fell for me. Spencer Marie Carlin, the most beautiful, loving, sexy, smart, funny, sexy, beautiful woman... She's with me. Of course I am cocky."

"Thanks baby, but you were cocky before you were with me. It's okay. I think your cockiness is ador.." Uh no.

"Stop right there." I covered her mouth with my hand and she laughed.

The door creaked open and we turned to see Miranda.

"Sorry for interrupting…again. Your mom and dad are getting ready to leave but they don't want to wake Gram. I said it was okay for her to stay."

"Of course she can stay. They can all stay. We have enough room."

"Well all of their things are at my house so they'll probably just want to stay there again." I interrupted.

"They were here last night? They stayed at your place?" She asked looking at me.

"They got here around the same time I did. I offered them my place because it's close and no-one's living there."

"How did you know they were here?" She was so cute when she was all confused.

"I asked them to come. For your birthday. They said yes right away because they were planning a small vacation any way. I met them at the airport and took them to my place."

"They've been here since yesterday afternoon and I just found out about it tonight. I wish I would've known. I feel bad Ash."

"Spence, they were fine with it. They knew all about my plans and were happy to wait until today. In fact they helped with the plans. Where do you think that amazing meal came from last night?"

She shook her head while smiling.

"I knew that it tasted all too much like my father's. Just thought it was a coincidence."

"Not a coincidence. He told me how much you loved it so I asked him to make it. I wanted your birthday to be the best ever." I took her hand and held it in mine.

"I wanted you to know how much you mean to me. I want to make you feel the way you make me feel." I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed the top of both.

"I can't even begin to describe in words the way you make me feel Spence. So I am just going to show you. Every day… for the rest of my life."

Her eyes went wide. Oops.

"Don't worry Spence. I'm not asking you to marry me." I laughed.

"Good." She sighed. "Because I would have no other choice but to say yes."

I gave her my nose crinkling smile and leaned in to kiss her. The moment my lips touched hers I moaned and I deepened the kiss instantly.

"Ahem. Hello?" I could vaguely hear Miranda say. We ignored her and she said it again.

Spencer pulled away and I looked up at Miranda with a glare.

"Yep, still here." Smartass.

"I am going to go talk to my parents. Thank them. Are you going to stay here tonight?"

I nodded. "Of course."

"Good." She smiled again and then headed inside.

Miranda sat down next to me.

"How are you Ash?"

"I'm happy. Spence makes me ..incredibly happy."

"I know she does. But how are you with everything else?"

I looked over at her and her concerned eyes bored into mine.

"I'm..okay. I still think about her a lot. But I don't think that's ever going to change. I miss her…so much." I looked down and played with the rings on my fingers.

I felt her arm slide around my back and her head rest on my shoulder.

"I think about her a lot too. I'm here Ash. Ya know….if you ever want to just talk. About anything. About Alyssa."

"Thanks Miranda. I plan to take you up on that. Often."

"Good. So what about right now? What's going on? Besides the obvious infatuation with Spence. We don't need to talk about that. I get to see that first hand. Waaayy too much." She laughed.

"Sorry about that. We can't help it."

"I know. It's sweet but annoying." She rolled her eyes and I playfully shoved her off of me.

"So speaking of sweet but annoying, how are you and Chris?" We hadn't really talked about him a lot lately. I felt like a bad friend.

"We are great but you're changing the subject."

"I can't ask about my best friend and her boyfriend?"

"You can, but later. I am asking about you right now."

We sat in silence for a minute until I finally spoke up.

"I have another opportunity to go on tour." I looked over at her and she smiled.

"That's great Ash. So are you going to go?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"I don't know. It's a great opportunity. One I might never get again. I want to, I really do. I just don't know if I can do it."

"Because of Spence?" She knew me too well.

"Yeah. It's a six month tour Miranda. I could barely get through three weeks away from her. How am I going to do six months?"

"Like you said, it's a great opportunity. One you may never get again. You have to do it. For you. If you don't you may regret it one day. And Spence, she loves you and you love her. You can get through this."

I knew we could get through it. We could get through just about anything. We had already been through so much. I was just weak. Weak and in love. Weak for Spencer's touch. I knew I couldn't go six months without it.

"When are you going to talk about this with her? We don't want what happened last time happening again."

No we don't. That was disastourous.

"Tomorrow. And I haven't said yes yet. I learned my lesson and I know that I have to think about Spence when I make decisions this big."

"Wow. You've come a long way Ash. I think it's safe to say that badass Ashley who slept around and never EVER cuddled is loooong gone."

We both laughed.

"Yeah. It's hard to remember that Ashley. I definitely don't miss her." I almost forgot what it was like to be lonely and feel unloved.

"Well I am sure I would have still liked that Ashley. But I loooove this one."

She pulled me into one of her bone crushing hugs and kissed my cheek.

We stood up as everyone came outside ready to go.

"Hey Ash do you think it would be okay if we all stayed at the house tonight?" Spencer had a bag with her as well. It would be weird but I would do it if that's what she wanted.

"Yeah sure. What about Gram?"

"I'm staying here. I'll keep an eye on her."

"Thanks Miranda." Spencer gave Miranda a hug. "I'll see you in the morning."

Miranda nodded, waved and walked back into the house.

We all got setteled in at the house. Spencer's parents shared a guest room and we didn't miss how close they had seemed. It made Spencer so giddy to see them like that. I hoped that they were reconciling because it would break her heart if they didn't. Glen and little Jack stayed in another guest room and I asked to tuck him in. I walked over to the portable crib and looked down at him. He was sucking on a pacifier and had his blanket held up to his cheek. It was amazing how much I had taken a liking to this baby. I never liked babies before. I leaned into the crib and pulled the other blanket he had up to his chest and then smoothed the hair on his head. He reached his hand up and I held it in between my fingers.

"Night Jacky. Sleep well."

I said goodnight to Glen and walked back to my room.

I opened the door to see Spence sitting on the end of the bed wearing her sleep pants and a tank top. She looked like she was contemplating laying down.

"Hey beautiful." Closing the door behind me I walked towards her.

"Hey." I pulled her up off the bed and into me.

"What's wrong? Not tired?"

"I'm exhausted. It's just.."

"What?"

"I've never slept in your bed before."

"No you haven't. Do you not want to?"

"Of course I do. It would be like being surrounded…by you. But.. I don't know. I just think of before we got together and how lonely you must have been, even with all of the girls that slept in this bed with you."

"Spence." I sighed.

"The only girls who have _slept_ in this bed with me were Casey and Miranda and I don't want you to be sad thinking about how lonely I was back then. I don't. I don't waste my time thinking about the past. I have you now and the only thing I ever think about is now and how happy you make me."

She held my face in her hands and kissed me gently.

"I love you Ashley."

"And I love you. Now come on. You're not going to make me sleep in this big bed alone again are ya?"

"No. Never."

We got in bed and I held her as she laid on my chest.

"Ash?"

"Yeah baby."

"As much as I want to right now it's probably not a good idea that we have sex with my parents two doors down."

"I know baby. It's okay. We'll just sleep."

"You don't want to have sex with me?" She looked up at me with a sort of confused look.

I laughed. "Of course I do Spence. But you just said we probably shouldn't."

"I know what I said but that doesn't mean you were supposed to agree."

Ugh..Women are complicated.

"Spence, do you want to have sex with me right now?"

"Well now I don't. You ruined the mood."

See what I mean.

"Okay. Well I am perfectly fine with just laying here and holding you all night."

"Really?" She said in a surprised tone. Why was that such a shocker?

"Alright then. Goodnight Ash." She laid her head back down and nestled into me.

Who was I kidding? I wanted to make love to her the instant I opened the door and saw her sitting on my bed with her pajamas on.

Fuck!

"Uh Spence?"

"Hmmm?"

"How quiet do you think you can be?"

She laughed.

I had had sex in many places before where there was a chance we would get caught. The idea of that was exciting and turned me on. But never like this. The way she pursed her lips together or held her hand over her mouth. Oh God. How she covered my mouth with hers to take in my moans.

As I held her afterwards I replayed those images in my head one after another. I thought about the tour. Those images would be all I would have. I know I could still talk to her on the phone. We could skype each other. But it wouldn't be the same as the feeling I had right now. Holding her in my arms.

Should I do it? Probably.

Could I do it? I don't know.

Was I going to try? I had to.

The good thing was that I had Spencer to help me make the final decision. I already knew what she would say. So I already knew what the answer was. I just had to hope that we could survive six months away from each other.

In my heart I knew that we would.

We would make it.

We would be okay.

We loved each other.

But in my head, well I think it's best I not listen to my head.

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><p><strong><em>Review if you wish. I could use the inspiration.<em>**

**_Song:_**

**_Back At One- Brian McKnight (ah..takes me back, way back)_**


	50. Chapter 50 Leaving on a jet plane

_**Once again thank you for the reviews. I apologize for the wait in between chapters. There will be one more chapter after this and then most likely an epilouge as well.** _

**_Sgarc12_**- You and your couch scene. *shakes head*

**_PurpleLover92_**- Okay so cheesy updates equal cheesy reviews..gotcha. Lol. And I am not complicated.

**_JayJayxo_**- Happy to hear that.

**_FFReviews_**- Thank you. It means a lot you saying that. I am sad to see it end to but happy too.

**_Ade77_**- Sequel? Probably not. If I do decide to it won't be for a while. The epilouge will be a jump into the future so they may have a little jack of their own. Who knows? And of course I am not going to forget about Alyssa.

**_Toni_**- So sorry to hear of your loss...again :( I am sad and happy to see the story end.

**_Lesbefriends_**- Hmmm a sequel? Maybe in the future. I have some other ideas I may try out first. More Grams in this one. Hope you enjoy.

**_noodles307_**- WELCOME BACK! Yay! So you have someone who sings to you huh? Very lucky! Well glad you are back. Stick around for the end.

**_Say I love you when you're not listening_**- Ah..there we go. You and your damn name. haha. Okay here is my update...waiting for yours now :) and your name is awesome like the song so it's cool.

**_momo0424_**-Yeah it was an old school jam but I love it.

**_debssofs_**- Well thanks. Hope you enjoy the last few chapters :)

**_TwittyArg_**- Yeah I know but it has to end. It has been a very looooong but fun ride. I have some more ideas I may try out but don't know when or how long it will be before I put them into words. Sorry about your back haha. Hope it was worth it ;)

**_lovegun1983_**- Here is more..enjoy.

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><p><em>I own nothing but my imagination. Miranda and Gram are mine as well.<em>

It felt incredible yet weird waking up with Spencer in my bed. Incredible for obvious reasons. Weird because I never thought it would happen. My bedroom reminded me a lot of the old Ashley and I was clearly not her anymore.

We had breakfast with her family and then I snuck Spencer away. We drove out to Santa Monica beach. I missed being near the ocean after spending all summer there. We walked along the water holding hands in silence. Being with her was so easy and comfortable. Often words weren't needed.

I needed to tell her about the tour. I tried to several times but I didn't want to ruin what was becoming a perfect day. Even though I was sure Spencer would support me, I knew she would be sad too. We walked about a mile before we turned around and headed back towards the car. Once we got to the car I leaned onto the hood and pulled her to me. Kissing her softly with my hands on her hips and hers in my hair.

"What's going on Ash?" She asked pulling back.

"What makes you think there's something going on?" We had finally gotten to that point where we could read each other's minds. I didn't like it as much as I thought I would.

"You've been quiet and as much as I have enjoyed the comfortable silence I can't help but feel like there is a reason for it. Is there something you want to talk about?"

Her hands that were in my hair were now on my face. She pulled my face upwards so she could look into my eyes.

"Talk to me Ash."

I pulled her hands off my face and held them in my lap before looking down at them.

"I have been offered another spot on a tour. It starts in December and I'd be gone for 6 months." I couldn't look up at her.

She sighed and lifted my face to her once again.

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing yet. I was waiting to talk to you."

She smiled and pulled me off the car. We walked back onto the beach and sat down face to face.

"Do you want to go?" Her voice was neutral but there was a hint of sadness in the tone.

I looked down before answering. "Yes. I want to go."

"You've thought a lot about this haven't you?"

"I have and as much as I would miss you Spence, I have to go. I need to go." I looked into her crystal blue eyes that matched the ocean directly behind her. How I would miss those eyes.

"I know you do." She said before standing up and walking towards the water. She crossed her arms in front of her.

She was upset.

I stood up and walked behind her sliding my arms around her waist and resting my chin on her shoulder.

A tear slid down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away.

"Tell me not to go and I won't…Nothing means as much to me as you Spence. I won't go if you don't want me to."

She turned quickly in my arms.

"No Ashley. I want you to do this, I do." She ran a hand through my hair and then kissed me softly. Her forehead rested on mine and she sighed.

"I'm just going to miss you." She whispered.

"I'm gonna miss you like crazy too baby."

We sat back down in the sand and I told her all of the details. She was excited for me and the opportunities going on a tour could open up for me.

Later that night we talked with her family over dinner. They were excited for me as well and it was a nice feeling for me to have the support from Spencer's family.

Miranda and I washed up the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen and afterwards I walked out to the back porch. I needed to call my dad and let him know what I had decided. I reached into my back pocket for my phone just as the door creaked open. It was Gram.

"Hey Gram."

"Trying to escape the in-laws already?"

"Haha..no. I was just gonna make a phone call." She pulled me down the steps and we sat down on a bench.

"So. What's troubling you my dear?" Gram was a smart woman and she saw EVERYTHING so I wasn't surprised she sensed something was off with me.

"I'm worried about the distance me being on tour will create. It's 6 months Gram." There was no use in hiding how I was feeling.

"So you're worried that you and Spence won't survive the 6mths?" It scared me that she was so right on.

"Yeah I guess." I hung my head and ran my hands through my hair. I was ashamed of doubting us but it was the way I felt.

"Pumpkin you have every right to be worried. But….you don't need to be." She placed her hand on my back and rubbed it.

"I know my Spencer. I know how much she loves you. I see it. I see it in everything she does and everything she says. You mean everything to her."

"I know." I really did know. I hated that I was so worried about our relationship.

"Is it Spencer you are worried about? Or is it yourself?"

I straightened up and looked her directly in the eyes.

"No. I love her with everything I am too. I have no doubts in my mind that she is the only one for me. I hardly even 'see' other women and when I do I am always comparing them to Spencer. In the end they are no match. I know how lucky I am. I am not worried about me being faithful to her if that is what you mean."

"So what is then? You can talk to me dear. I may be a crazy old woman but I am smart as a whip and in my 75 years I have experienced things that would put a Days of Our Lives episode to shame."

I laughed and she gave me a big smile.

"It's true. So tell Grammy what's going on in that head of yours."

"Just me being a pessimist. It happens when you grow up with someone constantly telling you how horrible you are and how you're always gonna fail."

"_So are the days of our lives_." Gram said into the air before turning to me and cradling my face in her hands.

"You my dear are one of the most amazing young women I have ever met. You may not see it or feel it but you are strong and smart and you have an absolutely beautiful heart and an old soul. Forget that heartless wench and the nonsense she spat at you. You are better than that and you are better than her. You know how I know all this? Because I see you through Spencer's eyes. My granddaughter is quite the catch ya know? She's an incredible woman. And she loves you."

"So you think I am an amazing young women because Spencer loves me?"

"Yes..and also because I am a wise old woman. Smart as a whip remember?"

I don't know why but I had a sudden urge to cry. I felt choked up and my eyes watered. As I lowered my head a tear fell from my eye and landed on my leg.

Yes I was cocky. Yes I believed that no-one could resist me. I was all that and a bag of chips. But that was always about sex. Never about love. Yes I could charm, woo, seduce and make it worth their time. I never had to worry about anything else. I never had to worry about keeping them. Making them want to stay.

I knew Spencer loved me. But I had doubts that she would continue to love me. I would be away for 6 months. Would she still love me when I returned? She could find someone else in those 6 months. She could find a tall, dark and handsome man who she could walk down the street with without hearing the snide remarks and the harsh whispers. She could have a normal relationship again. She could have the perfect life. The American dream. She could..

"Will you stop that already?" I am snapped out of my stupid thoughts by Gram smacking the back of my head.

"Ouch!" Damn that hurt.

"Are you done now? Because I can do it again."

"Uh."

"Stop it. Stop with all of the thinking and go talk to her. I can promise you this dear. What's going on in your head is probably going on in hers too. Except the opposite. Go talk to her. Now. Don't wait another minute."

She was right.

"Thanks Gram." I leaned over and hugged her. "You're pretty amazing too." I kissed her cheek and stood up. Time to find Spence.

Everyone was at the kitchen table playing that 'Screw your neighbor' game again. I wanted to join and steal all of their money again but I had more important things to do. Speaking of Spencer, she wasn't at the table. She wasn't in the living room or her office either so she must have been upstairs.

I found her in her room putting some clothes in her dresser.

"Hey." She said when she saw me. "Did you talk to your dad?"

I forgot all about calling my dad.

"Uh no actually I didn't. I talked to Gram though."

"Oh yeah. What kind of craziness is she talking about now?"

I took the clothes from her hands and set them down.

"We need to talk Spence."

She looked worried.

"No. It's nothing bad. I just need to talk to you about some things."

"Oookay." She sat down on the bed. I started pacing.

I told her everything that was going on in my head. She looked shocked and a little hurt.

"Ashley I know that your mother made you feel like you were worthless and not loveable but she couldn't have been more wrong. I thought you were done thinking about all the crap your mother said to you. Didn't you tell me just last night that I needed to stop thinking about the past, that you didn't anymore?"

I finally stopped pacing and leaned up against the wall.

"I'm sorry Spence. I just can't help the way I feel sometimes. I know I'm not worthless. I know I am lovable. I know you love me. But something in me just tells me that you could have better, that you could want better."

She stood up and walked towards me.

"Look at me." Her hand found mine as my eyes found hers.

"There isn't anyone better out there for me. I want you. Only you. I had the perfect guy, thoughts of living in the perfect house, with the perfect job, having the perfect life. And who knows, maybe I would have some of that today if Aiden hadn't died. But he did, and I miss him. But as much as I loved being with him Ash …he never made me feel the way you do. He never made me as happy as you do. I have never felt so beautiful and sexy and…wanted. I have never felt so depended on, so needed. You make me feel things I don't …no I know no-one could ever make me feel. You Ash, that's all you. So stop with the doubts and the bad feelings because I don't want anyone else."

Her hands were now on my face wiping my tears.

"I'm sorry Spence. I don't know why I get like this. I know you love me. I'm just an idiot sometimes."

She kissed me softly and when she pulled back her lips turned into a smile.

"Yes but you're my idiot and I love you."

"Well gee thanks." I laughed.

"I mean jeez, I have told you twice that I would marry you what more do I have to do?"

"That's true, you have."

"And I would say yes again, even if you actually meant it."

"Sooo if I asked you again right now…you would say yes?"

"I would. But don't. Wait a couple years and give me a real proposal."

"I can do that." As much as I wanted her to be my wife, I wasn't ready to get married. I knew she was the only one for me and I didn't need some stupid paper to prove that. Not only that but she got married in a court house the first time around. I wanted more for her than that. I knew she wanted more than that. I would wait. I would wait until I could give her all of my attention and I would give her the wedding of her dreams. Ugh..I hated weddings. But for her…for her I would do just about anything.

"Ash….we have a lot of time to plan everything. Don't worry about it now." She giggled.

"What is with you and Gram? You two could open up a physic network." They both had no trouble reading me and it wasn't fair.

She giggled again. "Sorry baby. You're like an open book now."

I quickly flipped us and now she was up against the wall.

"Oh yeah? What is it I am thinking now?" I ran my hands up her thighs and around to her ass and pulled her into me.

"I think that it's pretty obvious." She said followed by a moan as I pressed my center into hers.

"I want to hear you say it. What am I thinking right now?" I said softly, almost at a whisper. I was inches from her lips.

"You're thinking about how badly I want you to fuck me right now." I smirked at her admittance and wasted no time unbuttoning her pants and pulling her zipper down before sliding my hand into her panties.

It was the second night in a row we had sex with her parents under the same roof and it was the second night in a row she had to be quiet.

Loud, talkative Spencer turned me on. But watching her try so hard to keep control of herself was even more of a turn on. This time she had nuzzled her face into my chest to muffle her moans. I wanted so bad to laugh but I just smirked.

As we lied in bed later that night I remembered what Gram had said. Was Spencer worried about me being faithful?

"Spence?" I whispered. If she was asleep I didn't want to wake her.

"Hmm?" Her face was smashed into the back of my head. Her body so close. It was amazing how well we fit together.

"You know that you don't have to worry about me right? I'm never going to want anyone else."

"I know Ash. And you don't have to explain. I kind of overheard you talking to Gram about me."

"Spen-cer! You were eavesdropping?" I flipped around so I was facing her.

"No, well yeah kind of. I went outside to find you and I heard my name and I was curious. Sorry baby."

"Don't even worry about it." I kissed her gently and then laid my head on her chest.

I fell asleep easy after that. All of my doubts and concern were no more. A huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Spence and I would be fine. I slept like a rock that night.

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><p><em><strong>Spencer's P.O.V.<strong>_

For the next few weeks Ashley and I had spent nearly every waking second together. The only time we spent apart was when I had to teach, when she went out with her friends from school and when she visited with Alyssa's mother.

It felt great to finally do things as a couple.

Like going to the Santa Monica Pier. We walked hand in hand through the crowds of people not having a care in the world. If we got any glares or harsh comments we would never have known. We were off in our own little world.

Our little Spashley world.

The best part of our time at the pier was watching Ashley try to win me a stuffed animal. She was incredibly horrible at every game but determined to win me a prize. Finally she won me a tiny stuffed penguin on the last game and she jumped up and down like a little kid.

It was oh so adorable.

Don't tell her I said that.

Then she took me fishing. This surprised me because I once remember her telling me that she would rather 'sit and watch Mr. Goodman pick meat out of his teeth for an hour' than go fishing. So the fact that here she was sitting in her boat with me holding a fishing pole was amazing to me. We sat for hours waiting for her to catch a fish. I had already caught several which of course I had thrown back.

"We're not leaving til I catch a damn fish."

"Come on fishy fishies, doesn't my hook look nice and shiny and ooh look at Mr. Wormy..He's all yours. Come and get em'."

Once again..so freakin' adorable.

She never did catch a fish and I had to bribe her with sex so we could finally leave.

Then there was the play. We both wore dresses. Mine was knee length and dark purple and her was knee length and black. We looked absolutely gorgeous and when we walked into the theatre I was so proud to have her by my side. The play was entertaining but the best part was watching her mouth the words to nearly every word and song. And she said made fun of me for my love of Disney movies. Ha!

Every moment I spent with Ashley was another moment I would never forget. Every moment I spent with Ashley she proved to me how much she loved me. From playing stupid carnival games to baiting a worm on a hook, it never seized to amaze me the lengths she would go to make me feel loved. I was going to miss her when she went away. I was going to miss her like crazy.

We went shopping for some clothes for the tour and while I helped her put them in her suitcases I couldn't help but lose it. I tried to hide it but she was by my side in seconds wiping the tears away.

"I'll call you every day, 3 times a day." At least I would still get to hear her sexy voice whenever I wanted.

"We can Skype, maybe have a little phone sex." She wiggled her eye brows and I laughed.

"Maybe." She gave me her 'please like you could resist me' look.

"Okay, definitely." I wasn't going to deny it. I couldn't resist her. How the hell was I going to make it? Not being able to touch Ashley's body whenever I wanted was like not being able to have my morning coffee. Oh man. I was going to be such a Bitch.

"Spence I'm gonna try to come home as much as I can. I don't know how much or for how long but I'm gonna try. Even if it's only for an hour I'll do it. And I'm sure we will have a break."

"Try baby. But if you can't I understand and the break can't come soon enough. I already miss you."

She cradled my face in her hands and kissed me gently.

"I'm still here."

"Yes you are." I could let her leave without being with her. I started unbuttoning her shirt.

"What are you doing Spence? I've got to finish packing. We're leaving in an hour."

I finished with the buttons and pushed her shirt off of her then went straight to the button on her jeans.

"Spence?" I know she wanted it too. Screw packing.

I pushed her on the bed and straddled her.

"Okay…I guess you can fed-ex my clothes." Finally she gave in. Pulling me down to her and kissing me passionately.

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><p>Miranda and I drove her to the private air field where her dad and his private jet waited.<p>

We said quick good byes hoping it would make it easier. It didn't. By the time the plane was flying away from us I had already used up a handful of tissues. My cries had become almost sobs. I so wasn't prepared for this.

Miranda put an arm around me and pulled me into her. "Come on. Let's go get a giant tub of ice cream."

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><p><em><strong>Review if you wish.<strong>_


	51. Chapter 51 An ending and a beginning P1

_**Okay okay, I am so sorry for the long wait. But here it is...the last chapter. Well actually Part 1 of the last chapter. Yes, Part 1. So there will actually be another chapter plus the epilouge. Hope you enjoy. Again sorry for the wait.**_

_**Thanks for reading and especially reviewing. :)**_

_**Thanks to my friends for your support. You know who you are. **_

_I own nothing but my imagination._

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><p><strong>An end and a beginning. Part 1<strong>

It had been 4 long, tiresome, mind-blowing and absolutely crazy weeks. But..I had to admit it, I was having fun. Other than the traveling I was having a blast. I went out and gave it my all each show. And the crowd gave it back to me and more. They were clearly there to see Paramore but they made me feel like I was the main act. It was an incredible feeling performing in front of thousands of people. I was on top of the world. Guys were hitting on me and girls were practically throwing themselves at me. Flowers, phone numbers, bras and even some panties. If possible my ego grew 10 times bigger. They really loved me and it felt so amazing to be up on stage every couple nights. I would start every night with a few cover songs and then sings some of my own songs. The fifth song was always the hardest to sing. It was the song Alyssa and I wrote together. By the end of the song I was nearly in tears, every time. I had to sing it. I promised her I would go on this tour. I promised her I would get up on this stage for her. It only seemed right singing her song. And of course 5 out of the 8 songs I sang every show were about Spencer.

Spencer…

I missed her so much. I called her at least 3 times a day. Sometimes more. The 3 weeks we spent apart before were nothing compared to this. I still got to see her. Not this time. After every show I would lock myself in my dressing room and talk to her. She helped me get through the lonely nights. She helped me stay grounded. She would talk about her day and I would talk about mine. It was evident in our voices.

We were miserable without each other.

We had a big show on Christmas Eve at Madison Square Garden in New York. After that we were headed to Chicago. We had 2 shows there. Spencer was set to meet me 2 days after Christmas. Up on that stage while singing a song about my beautiful girlfriend and seeing everyone with their Santa hats on, I realized something.

I couldn't wait those 2 days.

I practically ran off the stage after my act, headed to my dressing room and took a quick shower. I packed a few sets of clothes and left the arena. If all went as planned I would be there before they woke up.

_**Spencer's P.O.V.**_

Every day was the same. Wake up alone, call Ashley, go to work, drive home, call Ashley, make dinner, relax on the couch, and call Ashley. It was pathetic really. It was almost like time had stood still since she left. The days dragged on and on and I was constantly and anxiously awaiting our moments on the phone. Just hearing her voice made me smile and even over the phone she could make me blush. I pictured every movement, every gesture, every mannerism, and every facial expression hoping that it would make it easier but it didn't. I missed her so much and I wanted her home. Miranda tried to get me out of my funk. We went to the movies, she took me bowling, and we ate A LOT of ice cream.

Ashley was going to come home to a rather overweight girlfriend.

It was Christmas Eve and Miranda and I were staying with my parents. My mom practically begged us to spend the holiday with the family. I agreed considering I had been feeling so lonely as of late. I still had 2 more days until I got to see Ashley. I was meeting her in Chicago and spending 4 days with her. I had never been so excited in my life. It was upsetting that she wouldn't be with me on our first Christmas together but I was certain we would have a future full of Christmases together and that would have to be enough. I laid down on the pull out couch my parents had set up for me in my old room and dialed her number. A smile already on my face.

"Hey baby." I could tell she was tired.

"Hey, did I wake you?"

"Nope. Just settling in."

"When do you leave for Chicago?"

"Uh. We're supposed to leave in the morning. We have to be downtown for a charity event around noon. We're going to be dropping toys off at orphanage and then we will be serving dinner for the homeless."

"Ash that's wonderful. It must feel good to be able to do those kinds of things and bring smiles to those kids' faces." Was it selfish of me to wish she were going to be with me instead?

"It is a good feeling Spence. But I would rather be with you on Christmas.'

"I know baby. But we'll have our Christmas together. We just have to wait a few days."

We talked for another half hour maybe before I started to drift off. I fell asleep with my phone in my hand, not willing to let go of the closest thing I had to my girlfriend at the moment. Two more days I kept telling myself.

**_Ashley's P.O.V._**

As I approached the steps of the Carlin home I couldn't contain my excitement. I couldn't wait to see the look on Spencer's face. After finding the key that was hidden under a rock in the frozen flower bed I found myself at the door wondering how I was going to slide in undetected. I put the key in and slowly turned it. Pressing the door open slowly, I was happy that it didn't make any noise. I walked in and shut the door and when I turned around I saw something that brought an instant smile to my face. Spike. My little Spike was running towards me with his little, red jingle bell collar on. Of course he was more like Spencer's little Spike now. Spencer had sort of taken him in. I was happy for that. Spike needed more attention than I could give him. I nearly took him on tour with me but I couldn't bear take him away from her. Not when I was so hard for me to leave her.

I scooped him up and snuggled him into my neck. His wet nose tickled my neck and I giggled.

"Hi Spikey." I whispered.

There were noises coming from the kitchen which didn't surprise me. It was just after 6 a.m. and I remember Spencer telling me both of her parents were early birds. I made me way to the kitchen as quietly as I could.

Paula was pouring herself a cup of coffee. I was still a bit scared of mama Carlin but I knew I didn't need to be. She accepted my relationship with her daughter but at times I found myself remembering the look of death she gave me the first time we talked. She walked over to the islander and sat down on a stool. Setting her coffee down, she opened a magazine.

"Did you make enough coffee for one more?" I asked from the doorway.

Startled, she held her chest.

"My gosh. Ashley?"

"Sorry. I did at least wait for you to put your mug down." I chuckled.

She got up from her stool and walked towards me.

"What on earth? You're not supposed to be here." I would have been a little insulted if she hadn't pulled me into a hug.

"I couldn't spend Spence and I's first Christmas away from her. I had to be here. I hope you don't mind." I said as she hugged me tightly. It felt very awkward being held by an older woman. Awkward and then well….strangely…good.

She pulled away and cradled my face. Uh..awkward again.

"Of course I don't mind. You're practically family now and I know Spence is going to be so happy to see you."

"Uh. Thanks." She let go of my face and walked over to the coffee pot and poured me a cup.

"Cream, sugar?"

"Nope. Straight up."

"My kind of girl."

She handed me my cup and sat back down.

"Sit. Spence won't be up for another hour or so."

I sat down across from her and sipped on my coffee while she stared at me. It wasn't a glare and it wasn't uncomfortable.

"So when are you going to turn 19?" Haha. So she is still bothered by that.

I chuckled a bit into my mug.

"Not for a while."

"You seem a lot older. Mature for your age." Wow. Did she just compliment me?

"Thanks."

"So you want kids right?"

I nearly spit my coffee all over her.

What? Uh?

"Um. Yeah. I do. Eventually." What kind of question is that?

She laughed.

"Just wondering." She went back to sipping her coffee. Multiple personalities I tell ya. I don't know which one scared me more. We talked a bit more and the conversation got less awkward. I had no reason to be scared of her. She loved me. Naturally.

"I'm going to go wake Spence." I set the mug in the sink and walked out of the kitchen.

"Ashley." She called out just as I reached the doorway. I turned around to face her.

"I really am glad you are here. My daughter is lucky to have you." She smiled.

"I'm the lucky one." I smiled back and she nodded.

Slowly I crept up the stairs and down the hall. As I opened the door to her room I was hit with her scent right away. I closed my eyes and took it in. She was lying in the middle of the bed, sprawled out, with no covers. Her pajama shirt road up past her belly button and I couldn't help but stare at the perfect skin that was showing. Her mouth was wide open and she was softly snoring. I shook my head at the sight and crawled onto the bed. She shifted right away and rolled onto her side. I slid in behind her, wrapped my arm around her waist and whispered in her ear.

"Merry Christmas baby. Time to get up and see what Santa brought you."

She stirred a little.

"Ashley." She whispered. But never opened her eyes.

"Wake up Spencer." I whispered in her ear again before kissing it and trailing my lips down her neck.

"Ashley?" Her eyes flung open and she whipped around.

"Merry Christmas." I got out real quick before she nearly smothered me.

"I can't believe you're here. What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Chicago." She said so fast I barely understood her.

My hand found its way to her cheek and she leaned into my touch.

"There was no way I was missing spending Christmas day with you Spence." I leaned in and pressed my lips to hers. I couldn't help the little whimper that left my throat when she pulled me into her and deepened the kiss.

The kiss started off slow but quickly turned rushed. Our tongues tangled, our hands roamed getting reacquainted with the feeling of each other's skin. She moaned as my hand sneakingly slid underneath her shirt and found her breast. My mouth left hers and trailed down to her pulse point sucking and then soothing.

"God I've missed you Ash." She groaned out as I assaulted her neck.

_Knock! Knock!_

Fuck!

We straightened up and Spencer's told whoever it was to come in.

The door creaked open and Miranda's head popped in. Her face lit up and she threw the door open and jumped into the bed with us.

"Ashley!" Again I was nearly smothered.

"Ewe, you guys didn't just have sex did you?" She scrunched up her face and I elbowed her.

"No we didn't. But one of these days you going to literally walk in on us doing it and were not going to stop."

"Hey, I did knock. I almost ran in the room when I heard you were here but I DID KNOCK."

"So you were uber excited to see me huh?"

"Nah. I just want to open presents and we can't do that until you two stop sucking face and come downstairs."

"Whatever. I think I'm gonna take my gift back." Little brat.

"You brought me a gift?" She asked like a little …brat.

"Actually I had a gift mailed here for you. Hopefully it came in time. If not.. eh." I shrugged my shoulders and she pouted.

"Well come on you two. Let's go see what Santa brought." She dragged us each by a hand out of the room and down the stairs.

We all sat down and one by one everyone opened their gifts.

I didn't have Spencer's gifts. They were still on the bus. She would have to wait until Chicago. Miranda's gift did come in time. Mr. C. pulled it out from behind the tree. Her eyes went wide at the size of it.

"That's my present?" She asked me.

"Open it." I begged her.

She ripped of the wrapping paper and gasped at the sight of her very own Gibson J-185 acoustic guitar.

"Ashleeeey, this is awesome." She set the maroon guitar in her lap and strummed a few chords.

"I remember you saying you wanted to learn."

"Well yeah. I mean my best friend and my boyfriend both play so I figured I should learn."

Setting the guitar down she stood up and walked over to me. I got off the couch and met her and she gave me a small squeeze.

"Thank you." She whispered in my ear before kissing my cheek.

"No problem. If you want to wait I can teach you when I get home." I know she didn't want to wait.

"Or ya know Chris can teach you." He was probably better at it anyway.

"No Ash. I want you to teach me. I'll wait."

"You sure?"

"Duh!"

"Good. I'm like way better than him anyway." I said as I sat back down next to Spencer.

She shook her head and sat back down on the floor next to Glen.

Everyone continued with the present opening and I sat and watched in amazement. I never had a Christmas morning like this. Usually it was just my mom and me; occasionally my dad would be there. The last couple years were bad. My mom would sit and drink her coffee while watching TV. while I opened presents that were all mostly from my dad.

It was never like this.

"Ash, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were coming or we would have had some gifts for you to open."

"No Spence, it's okay. This is…perfect." I squeezed her hand that was holding mine and kissed her cheek. "Perfect."

After the gifts were all opened I left the room to call my dad. Imagine my surprise when a woman answered his phone. And not just any woman.

Ms. Cooper.

Apparently my dad had invited her to spend Christmas with him in Sydney, Australia, where he was performing at the time. It was her first time away from the beach house since Alyssa had passed. We talked a little about Alyssa. She was having a really difficult time with her first Christmas without her. She told me that my dad was trying his best to cheer her up. I was so happy for the both of them. My dad tried to convince me that their relationship was just friendly but I wasn't buying it. Either way I was happy.

Miranda waited patiently for me to get off the phone. She was excited about something.

"What's up you crazy girl?"

She brought her hands back around from behind her back and they were holding a small box. Handing me the box she gripped it tightly as I grabbed onto it.

"It's not much but I think you'll love it."

"I'm sure I will love it. Now let go." I chuckled.

She let go. I tore open the paper and opened the box.

Inside was a colorful braided bracelet.

"Like I said it's not much but I.."

"I love it Miranda."

I pulled her into a hug.

"Do you even know what it is?" She asked, confused.

"It's a friendship bracelet. Help me put it on."

I put it on my wrist and she tied it.

"How did you know?"

"I always wanted one as a kid but no-one ever made me one." I pouted.

"Well now you have one and it matches mine." She held her wrist out and showed me hers.

"I love em Miranda. I really do. Thank you." I smiled and gave her another small hug.

"Well it was Gram's idea so you should thank her too."

"It was Gram's idea?"

She nodded.

"Of course it was Gram's idea." I laughed. I didn't know Gram was serious about the whole friendship bracelet thing.

"Does she have one too?"

"Yep she made me make her one."

I shook my head and smiled.

Gotta love Gram.

Later Christmas night after dinner Spencer called me up to her room. I was greeted with a long and passionate kiss. Sadly it ended there. She pulled a gift out of her bag and handed it to me. It was flat and long.

"I was going to wait until Chicago to give it to you but I would rather not travel with it."

I slowly ripped off the paper to find a 16x20 picture frame with more than a dozen pictures of me. In the middle was a picture of me with my first guitar at 4 years old. There was a picture of me at Pure and several of me on tour. I would be lying if I said it wasn't the most awesome gift I had ever received. I nearly teared up.

"How did you get these pictures?" I asked as I turned to her.

"I have my connections." First she gave Alyssa that video of me and now the pictures.

"Connections huh?"

She just nodded. "Do you like it?"

I held it up directly in front of me and gave it a once over.

"I love it Spence. Best present ever." She gave me that beautiful smile of hers and took the picture out of my hand, setting it on the dresser. Her hands found mine and she pulled me closer.

"I'm glad you like it. I struggled trying to find the perfect gift for you. What do you get the girl who has everything?" She laughed.

"I don't need anything Spence. I have everything I want and need right here. And this Christmas has been the best I have ever had." I leaned in a kissed her softly. She held my face and kissed me back before leaving my lips and trailing her mouth down to my neck and then up to my ear.

"Your Christmas is about to get better baby." She whispered. Her breath was hot on my ear and her hands moved to the hem of my shirt.

"Seriously? Here, now?" She had better not be playing with me.

"Seriously. Here, now." My shirt was lifted off of me and her mouth found my neck again.

I let out a small moan as her mouth trailed lower.

"Spence, don't we have to go back down."

"Oh I plan on going down baby."

Uh. Okay.

And just like that she was working on my belt buckle.

"Spence?" I wanted this right here and right now but I was worried about someone walking in on us.

"Ashley relax. My parents left for my Aunt's house and Miranda went with Glen to get Jack." She chuckled and pushed me towards the bed. The back of my legs hit the edge and I was forced to sit down.

"Sit down and relax. You're about to get your next gift. And I am sure you're going to love this one even more."

Gulp.

Did I mention this was the best Christmas EV-ER?

* * *

><p>It was around 8 p.m. and Spence and I were snuggling on the couch sipping hot chocolate and watching The Christmas Story. It had always been one of my favorite movies growing up and watching it now with Spence made it even better.<p>

Glen and Miranda got back a little after 8:30 but they weren't alone. Little Jacky was with them and Jacky's mom. Apparently Glen and her were together now. It made sense. Glen loved that little kid like it was his own. Now they could be a family. I was hoping he wasn't with her for the wrong reasons but after seeing them together for a brief time it was clear that they were in love. We all sat down and finished the movie. Now I was snuggling with Spence but little Jacky had made his way onto my lap. I couldn't help but picture our future looking exactly like this.

* * *

><p>Christmas in Chicago with Spencer was <em>A-MAZE-ING<em>. We only left the hotel room a few times. Once to walk around downtown in the snow, twice to eat and one more time when I took her to a play. That was one of her gifts. I also got her a few first edition books of poetry. Robert Frost and Walt Whitman. She was so surprised and thanked me in more ways than one. The last gift I got her was.. a diamond ring. Platinum with a .75 carat, princess cut diamond and diamonds on the sides. There was also an engraving on the inside. "_You have my heart. Always_."

"Ash?" She looked at me so tentatively as she took it out of the red satin box.

"It's okay Spence. I'm not asking you to marry me." I chuckled. She looked relieved.

"Yet." I added.

"It's not an engagement ring. It's more like a promise ring but not really."

She looked at me confused.

"I just wanted to get you something that you could wear every day that would remind you of me and how much I love you. That would remind you that …you're my woman and that you have nothing to worry about while I'm out there. Because I'm yours. All of me. My body, my soul, my mind…my heart."

I looked down at my hands and grabbed a hold of hers.

"Ash." She lifted my chin and my eyes met her glassy eyes.

"I don't need a ring or anything else to make me think of you every day. You're all I think about. I know how much you love me because every moment we are together or even miles away and just talking, you show me."

"So you don't want the ring then?" I already knew the answer.

"Hell yes I want the ring. It's gorgeous." Exactly.

"Good. Because it was made especially for you. I don't think it would look as good on my other girlfriends." I joked as I slid it onto her right ring finger.

She glared at me but then literally attacked me. We spent that night in bed. Making love, talking, just lying there in each other's arms.

The next night was the first concert. I couldn't wait to see Spencer sitting in the front row. I was nervous that night. A good nervous. When I first walked out onto the stage and saw her, my heart started beating fast and a smile spread onto my face faster than a wild fire. She was standing with Mark, yes Mark my security at Pure. He was traveling with me. I guess you could call him my own personal body guard. I told her to wear a ball cap to disguise herself a bit. Just in case. She looked so hot in her Detroit Tigers hat, with her ponytail curled and her big hoop earrings. And the tight shirt well…. Oh sorry. Getting off base here.

I sang the first cover song and then prepared for the next.

"This next song I sing every night. But tonight, tonight is special because the person I sing this song for is actually here tonight." I addressed the crowd and they let out a cheer.

"My girlfriend is a huge Carol King fan and tonight I get to sing this to her personally."

Looking down at her I blew her a kiss.

"I love you baby."

I walked back to my piano and sat down. My fingers started gliding over the keys while my eyes stayed on hers.

_So far away,_

_Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?_

_It would be so fine to see your face at my door,_

_Doesn't help to know, you're just time away,_

_Long ago I reached for you, and there you stood,_

_Holding you again could only do me good,_

_How I wish I could, but you're so far away,_

_One more song about moving along the highway,_

_Can't say much of anything that's new,_

_If I could only work this life out my way,_

_I'd rather spend it being close to you,_

_But you're so far away,_

_Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?_

_It would be so fine to see your face at my door,_

_Doesn't help to know you're so far away,_

_Yeah, you're so far away,_

_Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely,_

_Nothing else to do but close my mind,_

_I sure hope the road don't come to own me,_

_There are so many dreams I have yet to find,_

_But you're so far away,_

_Doesn't anybody stay in one place anymore?_

_It would be so fine to see your face at my door,_

_And it doesn't help to know, you're so far away,_

_Yeah,_

_You're so far away,_

_Yeah, you're so far away,_

_You're so far away,_

I could see from the seat of my piano that she was crying. Quickly and without thinking I got up, walked across the stage and jumped off. The security surrounded me instantly as I took her in my arms and kissed her softly.

"I love you Ashley." She said as I pulled away and took her face in my hands.

"I love you Spence." I gave her another quick kiss.

I turned to Mark quickly. "Take care of her ..and don't let anyone take any pictures of her." Then I turned around and jumped back up on stage.

The rest of the show I kept my eyes on her. She was so excited and she cheered with the rest of the crowd. It was probably one of the best nights of my life. I wish she could be there every show.

She was in my dressing room minutes after me and we didn't wait until the hotel to have sex that night. We made love in the shower, on the couch and on the bus on the way to the hotel. By the time we finally made it to bed we fell asleep in each other's arm instantly.

The day came for her to leave and once again it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

But I did.

My bus left the lot and Spencer stood there sobbing on the street. I wanted so badly to stop the bus and run out to her but I knew it would only make things even harder. I waited until we were out of sight before I let my own tears fall.

Suddenly this tour was like a prison. I felt like I was locked away in a cage unable to break free and see my loved ones. Dramatic I know but it's how I felt. The nights I performed weren't horrible. But the nights I didn't were. Even though we talked I felt alone. I just wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go. Eventually performing just felt like a job. It felt impersonal and repetitive. I didn't want to be out there. Some nights I would imagine Spencer out in the crowd. Those nights were a little easier but once I left the stage and realized she wasn't really there I would lose it. I cried a lot now. I missed her, I missed being home. She was having a hard time as well. Her mom's job took her to Africa and her dad went with her. They were trying to reconcile their relationship. But that left Gram all alone and since they had left Gram had been getting sick a lot. Glen was still there but she didn't trust him to make sure she was taken care of. Her dad wanted to come home but Gram was having none of that. So she took a leave of absence from work and went to stay with Gram. Gram wasn't too happy with that either but Spencer was stubborn. I was supportive of her decision even though she wouldn't be in L.A. for my concert in March. That was the next available time for us to spend time together. I was a little angry and upset but I understood. Sort of.

"Hey baby. You feeling any better?"

I called her after a show one night in early May. She was still at her parent's house. She had been feeling sick lately and was really missing me. The feeling was mutual.

"I'm doing better. I just really miss you Ash."

"I know Spence. 34 more days and I'll be home." Yes, I was counting the days.

"5 more weeks is like another year." It really felt that way.

"I'm sorry baby. You know I wish I could be there right now holding you."

"I wish you were too. Maybe then I could sleep better." She hadn't been sleeping great. The doctor said it was because she wouldn't let her mind relax. She was worried about Gram and her parents and me.

"You want me to sing to you? Would that help?" It usually did.

"Yeah." She sighed. "Sing to me Ash." She sounded so tired.

"Okay baby."

I grabbed my guitar and started strumming softly.

_One more hotel room,_

_One more night away from you,_

_One more phone call,_

_To say I'll be home soon,_

_I'm just so tired,_

_Of all the distance in between,_

_All I really need is you with me,_

_I miss your voice, I miss your smile,_

_I wish I could give you,_

_A kiss from a thousand miles,_

_Sleep well my love,_

_Tonight when you close your eyes,_

_Hear my long distance lullaby,_

_La la la la_

_La la la la_

_La la la la la la la la la_

_La la la la_

_La la la la_

_La la la la la la la la la_

_I know it's hard when I'm so far away,_

_And these words can only go so far to say,_

_I miss your voice, I miss your smile,_

_I wish I could give you,_

_A kiss from a thousand miles,_

_Sleep well my love,_

_Tonight when you close your eyes,_

_Hear my long distance lullaby,_

_La la la la (just close your eyes)_

_La la la la (I'm coming home)_

_La la la la (you'll hear me singing)_

_La la la la (I know it's hard)_

_La la la la (I'm coming home)_

_La la la la (and we'll be singing la la)_

_La la la la la la la la la_

I heard her breathing even out and I knew she was asleep.

"I love you Spencer. I'll be home soon."

* * *

><p><em>Part 2 should be up this week sometime. Don't hold me to that. :)<em>

_**Reviews feed my inspiration. Inspiration feeds my imagination. So review :)**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>Songs:<strong>_

_**So Far Away- Carol King**_

_**Long Distance Lullaby- Martina McBride**_


	52. Chapter 52 An ending and a beginning P2

_**Okay guys this is the end of the road. It has been a looooong and absolutely crazy road but I enjoyed every bit of it. Hope you did too. **_

_**I was told when I originally posted this story on The Spashley Forum that no-one wanted another Teacher/Student story. That no-one was going to read it. So I appreciate each and every person who did read it and the reviews mean the world to me. **_

_**So Thank YOU!**_

_**A special Thank You to those have been here for the whole ride.**_

_**Purps**_- So I 'killed' you with the distance thing? Does that mean that I made you cry? So you want a friendship bracelet? Is that what you are saying? There may be a spashley baby..if there is indeed an epilogue ;P Sorry about the rollercoaster of emotions again. You know that is how I roll. Lol. Hopefully I can make up for the lack of sex in this one. *shakes head*

_**Inviziblinc**_- Yes sadly 'all good things must come to an end' and thanks much!

_**nenus**_- Don't be sad…it's gotta end at some point. Trust me I could go on with this story forever but then it might turn to crap. Lol. Thank you.

_**Judelltar**_- Thanks..here is part 2 for ya.

_**SexyThang**_- Sorry for the teasing. Lol. Hopefully you will be happy with the end.

_**Justuraveragegirl1**_- yes I am back…for the end. Lol. Glad you liked it.

_**FFReviews**_-Haha, the tour was 6 months. I agree..they only work together. I do put a lot of thought into each chapter. It's just getting those thoughts onto paper that take a lot of time and effort. Thanks.

_**Lesbefriends**_- Yeah I know…I have a habit of toying with people's emotions. Sorry for that. Lol. Gram will be fine. Thanks

_**Godlove**_- Thanks

_**Idwalkthroughhell4u**_- Thanks. Yes it is heartbreaking. Support and trust are very important. Hope you enjoy the last update.

_**noodles307**_- Thank you, thank you, thank you. Feel free to suck up. I don't mind. LOL. I took away to the end my friend…hope you enjoy

_**S**_- Oh she did get to chill with Haley. I originally had them more involved (friendly) but it felt weird using her name. There is a mention of her in this update.

_**Sgarc12**_- Is this soon enough for you? LOL. Where is your update? Exactly. Haha

_**Ade77**_- Alyssa will never be forgotten. She was a big part of Ashley's life and transformation. I may write another story. We will see.

_**lovegun1983**_- Glad I could brighten up your week. Thanks.

_**lilce1992**_- Thanks. Nooo don't cry.

_**naranga87**_- Oh boy! I am not even going to comment on that. Lol. Sorry..it's gotta end sometime. Don't boo me. Haha

_**LoveAsh87**_- Thanks. Okay okay..here ya go!

* * *

><p><em>I only own Miranda, Gram, Casey and Alyssa…..and of course my crazy imagination<em>.

This chapter is **Rated M.**

Chatper 51- Part 2. _An__ end and a beginning._

The weeks following were hard. Not just the performing and the traveling but between Spencer and I. She had been offered a job at The University of Michigan teaching literature. As happy as I was for her to get offered a job at the school she went to I knew what that meant. She would be moving to Michigan for good. She didn't take the offer. Yet. She said we would discuss it when I got home. I knew she wanted to teach there more than anything.

But was I ready to leave L.A. for her?

What did Michigan have to offer me?

I talked to Miranda a lot about this. We discussed the pros and cons of me moving to Michigan if Spence took the job. It didn't really matter what the cons were though because the one and only pro was that I would be with Spencer and that was more than enough.

Miranda and I also discussed her future. She was offered scholarships from many schools. U of M being one of them. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do though. She was still with Chris. Things had been serious for a while with them. Imagine my reaction when we had the sex talk.

_"Ash I think I am ready."_

_"Ready for what?"_

_"To have sex with Chris." I nearly choked on my turkey sandwich._

_"No. NO. NOOOO."_

_"Ash."_

_"Don't do it Miranda."_

_"Ash. Come on."_

_"Miranda it's a big step."_

_"We've been together for 9 months. How much longer can we wait? I want to be with him."_

_"You have to think of the consequences Miranda." Like getting knocked up._

_"We'll be safe. I promise Mom."_

_"Very funny." I could totally see Chris knocking her up._

_"Seriously Ash. You don't need to worry."_

_"You could get pregnant."_

_"I'm not going to get pregnant."_

_"And get fat and moody."_

_"Ash, stop it." I was serious._

_"And get morning sickness and start craving disgusting combinations like french fries dipped in ice cream."_

_"Ashley, stop. That's gross."_

_"Are you ready to be a mom?"_

_"I'm not going to get pregnant."_

_"I'm just saying."_

_"Can you be serious for a minute?"_

_"Yeah, sorry. I just want you to be sure."_

_"I'm sure."_

_"Then just be careful."_

_"I will. We will."_

_"Okay. Gotta go. Call me with details."_

_"I'll call you but you're not getting details."_

_"Okay. Just call me."_

_"I will. Love you."_

_"Love you too."_

They had a romantic evening. I was actually surprised. Chris didn't seem the type. But Miranda had been with him for a long time so there had to be something remotely cool about him, besides the fact that he played guitar. Cause let's just face it. People who play the guitar are just naturally HOT.

I hadn't seen Spencer since she visited me in Denver in February. Things had gotten severely strained between us. She was busy with Gram and teaching part time at a juvenile center. Not to mention the time differences which at times could be way off. When we did talk we would find ourselves arguing. I may not have mentioned it but news spread fast that the daughter of rock legend Raife Davies was on a tour of her own. Soon the cameras were everywhere I was. Staying out of the public eye was no longer an option. Pictures were plastered in nearly every gossip magazine. Pictures of me and the band and a certain red head from Paramore. Spencer trusted me but the pictures were bad. Of course they were. They had to sell magazines right? I had to explain more than once that we were just friends, that she was the only person I had to talk to. Like I said, she trusted me but she was jealous. The time we spent apart was taking a toll on our relationship. That was to be expected. But whenever we would argue we would make up before we hung up. It was hard enough being away from her, I couldn't have her mad at me too.

June couldn't come fast enough.

The shows in L.A. were great. Miranda and Chris made it to both shows and Madi and Casey came to the second show. Even my dad and Ms. Cooper made it to the second show. It was a special two nights for me. Two nights I wish Spencer could have been there for but everyone else being there took my mind off of her. Well not completely but ..enough. We all went out after the show and had a great time. I had missed everyone so much.

"So how are things with you and Spencer?" Madi asked as we sat in a booth at a small diner. My dad and Ms. Cooper had already left as well as Miranda and Chris. It was just me, Madi and Casey.

"Strained. But we'll be okay. Only 2 more weeks." 12 days to be exact.

"Then what?" I wish I knew.

"I don't know. We've got a lot to figure out when I get home." I looked down at my coffee mug. I was slightly worried. Our future was together but one of us would have to make a sacrifice.

"What's there to figure out? She wants to stay there. Her family is there. Her dream job is there. Face it Ash, you're moving to Michigan." Finally Casey spoke up. She had been quiet for most of the conversation.

"It's not that simple Case."

"Yes it is. Spencer….wow it still feels weird calling her that…anyway, Spencer is your world. She's your everything. You are always finding ways to make her happy and feel loved. Do you really think that you are going to be able to live with yourself if you let her come back here and skip out on her dream to teach at her college and leave her family again?"

"Of course not. All I want is for her to be happy."

"And what exactly is keeping you here? If you're not going to sign with your dad's company and you don't want to pursue a music career at all then why stay? Your dad? Us, Miranda? What?"

"No, I mean I don't know. I love performing but I can do that anywhere. I'm sure I can find some place to play. And if I can't I'll just open my own place. And I love my dad, and all of my friends but Spencer is my future. Like you said, she means everything to me and I just want her to be happy. I can always visit you guys. Miranda might go to U of M anyway."

I sighed.

"Then I think you have things figured out Ash."

"Yeah, it's just my dad really. He stopped touring and said he was finally going to be the dad I deserved. How can I just leave now?"

"Ash your dad seemed mighty happy tonight. He seemed happy with Janet. I think he is going to be fine." Madi assured me.

My dad announced tonight that they were indeed a couple. Duh!

"I know he is happy. I need to call him before I make any decisions."

"Well we're gonna miss you when you leave for good Ash." Casey said and Madi nodded her head.

They both knew me so well.

Another week passed. I hadn't spoken to my dad yet but he was meeting me in Dallas for one of my last shows. He said he wanted to talk to me about some stuff. The only thing on my mind was that he asked Ms. Cooper to marry him already. Haha. It would be just like him to do that.

He did want to talk to me about Janet but only to tell me that he wanted to take her on a long vacation to Hawaii. He wanted to spend some alone time with her. My dad owned a very small and secluded home in Oahu, right off the Kailua beach. He took me there several times as a kid and taught me to surf. I haven't surfed since I was a kid though.

Maybe someday I could take Spencer there and we could learn to surf together.

Anyhow, I am getting off track again.

I talked to him about a possible move to Michigan. He was sad at first but then told me that I had to do it. That I would regret it if I didn't. He even went as far as telling me he would buy a house and spend most summers there. We talked about Music. He was saddened by my choice to not sign a record deal as well. But he understood and accepted it. He knew how hard the life was. I couldn't do another couple weeks of touring let alone months. I would still play I assured him. Music was a part of me. I wasn't planning on letting that go completely. It just wasn't my number one love anymore.

"Ash I want you to be happy." He said as he sat down and pulled me into his arms.

"And I know that Spencer makes you happy. Sometimes in life and in love you have to make compromises. I'm just now learning that and I'm sorry for that. Don't you be like me. Do what you think is right. But not what's right in your head, forget about that. Do what's right for your heart."

He kissed my forehead and then turned me to face him.

"Can you see yourself leaving California? Can you see yourself going through all four seasons? Not being able to go to the beach whenever you want? Having to wear big baggy winter coats? Raking leaves and shoveling snow?"

"Oh please." I laughed.

"I would so hire someone to do that. And I am a Davies; I would rock that big baggy winter coat."

"Hahaha, what was I thinking?" He laughed back.

"Do you really need my advice Princess? It seems like you've already made your decision."

"I did make my decision. A while back. I just wanted to talk to you about it Dad. I know you're happy with Janet but I feel bad because you basically stopped touring to be there for me and now I'm leaving."

He tilted his head at me. "I can still be there for you Ashley. Anytime you need. Just call your old man."

"Oh I plan to. And you better call me before you ask Janet to marry you."

He looked at me with that smirk of his. I guess you could say mine resembled his. The smirk turned into a full blown smile .

"You didn't already ask her did you?" Oh boy!

"No." He laughed.

"But I plan to very soon. It may seem kind of fast but when you know you know. I love her Ash and she's crazy about me. Naturally."

Now you see where I get it from.

The idea of it all didn't hit me until later that night. My dad and Ms. Cooper were in love. My dad and Alyssa's mom. He was going to ask her to marry him. If she said yes then she would be my step mom. Alyssa and I could have been sisters if she were still alive. The connection between the two of us would always be there. I was even more sure of that now.

I made a lot of calls that last week. For once my call log didn't read… Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, Dad, Spencer, Spencer, Miranda, Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. You get the point. I spent most of the time traveling on the phone. Preparing for my future. For my future with Spencer. In Michigan. I called a few colleges. Yes colleges. I needed to go to college. I wanted to be able to take care of Spencer and any family we would have...financially. I would need to go back to school so I could get a great job. The crazy thing was, I actually wanted to go to college.

Weird.

I even talked to Clay. Yep, my first conversation with the guy considering I had yet to meet him. He was a busy guy and I was sad I couldn't see him at Christmas. He was there the day before. Anyhow, our conversation was very awkward at first but as it progressed we got a little more comfortable with each other. I needed to make sure that the opportunity was still available for Spencer to teach there. I didn't want to ask her about it because I was planning this all to be a surprise. He confirmed that there were still two spots open and she was offered one of them. I told him my plans and he was so excited for his sister to be teaching at the school they both loved. At times it seemed like I was talking to the male version of my girlfriend.

The nerdy bookworm version.

Don't get me wrong. I loved that side of Spencer.

I loved every side of Spencer.

Speaking of my nerdy bookworm girlfriend. I had spoken to her 3 days before I was set to come home. Little did she know I would be there the next day.

I was going home. It didn't matter where that was. It just mattered that Spence would be there.

_**Spencer's P.O.V.**_

A smile had been plastered on my face all week. It was almost time. Time for Ashley to come home. Time for us to be together again. I was so happy.

Three days.

Three days until she would be in my arms again. I didn't plan on letting her go after that.

If she decided to leave again, I was going with her.

There was no doubt in my mind about that. I was tired of being away from her. We had spent too much time away from each other in our one year together. It was hard to believe it had been that long already. It just seemed like yesterday that she planted that kiss on me in the elevator.

Wow that kiss!

That would be embedded in my memory for the rest of my life. Along with every other kiss from her gorgeous, perfect lips.

My mind kept trailing back to that day a couple weeks ago. She called me on our one year anniversary. She sang to me of course and I got to see her sing to me via Skype. I wanted to call and thank the inventor of Skype for that and well …for some other things too. Let's just say that we gave phone sex a whole new meaning. It was amazing what that girl could do to me with just her words.

Wow!

"Spence you want something to drink?" I faintly heard.

"Spence?" I was disrupted from my naughty thoughts by Glen shoving at my shoulder.

"What?"

"Do. You. Want. Something. To. Drink?" He asked while pretending to sign. Moron!

"Yeah sure. Surprise me."

He looked at me with wide eyes. "Uh. Okay." Then walked away with a devilish grin.

We were at the little club downtown that I had serenaded Ashley in last June. Glen, his girlfriend Becky and Miranda and Chris. They had arrived yesterday. I was so happy to see Miranda. I felt horrible for her being in L.A. by herself but I knew she would be okay with Chris. I trusted the both of them. Miranda of course graduated top of her class. Valedictorian. Glen and I made the trip to L.A. to watch her graduate. Her speech was so ….Miranda. It was quite admirable. I recorded it so Ash could see it. I was so proud of her. I knew her family would be proud of her too. I wish they could have been there to see how amazing she had turned out.

Being back in L.A. was sad. I had only been back there three times since I left. Once when Miranda was sick and then again for her Prom. Then of course for the graduation. I missed Ashley even more when I was there. Especially when I slept in my bed. I could still smell her on the sheets.

Three more days.

Glen came back with our drinks and looked at me funny as he handed me my drink. I didn't care. I picked it up and gave it a good sip. It burned like hell and my entire body lit on fire. Oh well, guess I was getting wasted tonight. Time to live a little. I turned to Glen.

"Thanks. It's good. What's the name?" It wasn't good. It was horrible but I wanted to stick it to him.

"Uh. It's called a Bastard at the Beach. You like it?" He asked me with his eyes bugged out.

"Yeah. You want a sip?"

"Uh. No thanks." He answered quickly.

Yeah, I didn't think so. Baby!

I was about to take another sip when I heard a very familiar voice.

I whipped my head around to the stage and I nearly had a heart attack.

Ashley.

"I heard tonight was open mic night. So if you all don't mind I would like to sing a song to my beautiful girlfriend sitting right over there."

She pointed my way and we made eye contact. She smiled her ridiculously gorgeous Ashley Davies smile and my heart stopped for a minute. Tears fell from my eyes instantly and on instinct I covered my mouth with my hand.

Everything in me was telling me to run up on to that stage.

I stood up but Miranda pulled me back down.

"Wait. I wanna hear her sing."

I glared at Miranda and she let me go.

I didn't have a choice. The music started so I sat back down.

She was up on stage. Not 30 ft. away. Her eyes on me as she held her guitar and began to play.

_Well everybody hurts,_

_That's where we're all the same,_

_We drive on, through the worst,_

_And push on through the pain_.

_I'm standing at your door,_

_It's been a million miles,_

_I'll be the first to say,_

_I can't take anymore_.

_And that I want to be where you are,_

_I feel the same as I did from the start,_

_Whoooa, I want to be where you are,_

_And I'm willing to get there._

_There won't be any hearts breaking again,_

_This is the part where I stay where I stand,_

_Oh, I want to be where you are,_

_Tell me you're with me so far_.

_So let this be the chance,_

_The only one that counts,_

_Your love will be my last,_

_Until my life runs out._

_Until then I won't rest,_

_Till then I will not stop,_

_Until I hear the words,_

_All I need is a yes._

_And that I want to be where you are,_

_I feel the same as I did from the start,_

_Whoooa, I want to be where you are,_

_And I'm willing to get there._

_There won't be any hearts breaking again,_

_This is the part where I stay where I stand,_

_Oh, I want to be where you are,_

_Tell me you're with me so far_.

_I am amazed,_

_And I'm clutching to each word you say,_

_Fall into space,_

_Forgetting every mistake,_

_That I made._

_I'm beginning to change,_

_As I feel all my fears slip away,_

_And each look at you,_

_Is a moment I choose to embrace_.

_And I want to be where you are,_

_I feel the same as I did from the start,_

_Whoooa, I want to be where you are_

_And I'm willing to get there._

_There won't be any hearts breaking again,_

_This is the part where I stay where I stand,_

_Oooh, I want to be where you are,_

_Tell me you're with me so far._

I stood still in my chair. I hadn't moved since she started singing.

What was she saying?

Did she mean it?

I snapped out of it as I saw her walking towards me. It was all in slow motion.

Finally my brain woke up and told my legs to move. I was up and out of my chair and flying into her arms. The second I felt her arms wrap around me I lost it.

She was home.

She was holding me.

"Oh God. It feels so good to hold you." She cried in my ear.

"I don't think I am ever gonna be able to let you go, ever again."

I pulled my head back from her shoulder and cradled her face in my hands.

"I am never going to let you."

Our lips met in a slow but passionate kiss. No need to rush it. We had all the time we needed.

Like…the rest of our lives.

I felt everything at once.

Her warm lips all over mine.

Her hands on my lower back pulling me into her.

My heart beating fast.

My knees weakening.

She was here.

She was holding me.

I still couldn't believe it.

We pulled away for a breath and she started laughing. It took me a minute to realize why.

We were getting a standing ovation. Everyone in the club was standing up and clapping. Miranda looked like she was about to cry and Glen was pumping his fist in the air screaming "Woot! Woot! Woot!"

Normally I would have been embarrassed. But I didn't care at the moment. I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her again. This time harder and she moaned rather loudly.

When we finally ended our very public make out session I pulled her to a quiet corner.

"What are you doing here?"

"I may have fibbed a bit about when I was planning to come home. I wanted to surprise you."

"Well you did. I can't believe you're here Ash." My hand reached up to touch her face and she closed her eyes and leaned into it.

"I'm so happy right now. I have missed you so much."

She grabbed my hand and kissed the top of it.

"Well I'm here and I'm not going anywhere baby."

Suddenly we were so close again that I could feel her warm breath on my face. She leaned in and kissed the side of my mouth, then my cheek and then my forehead before pressing them to my lips again.

"Sorry, I just missed kissing you." She was so damn adorable.

"I'm glad you're home Ash. I mean, ya know. I'm glad you're here. I was going crazy without you."

"You had it right the first time Spence. Home." Did she just say home?

"Huh?"

She laughed.

"Did you not listen to a word of the song I just sang?"

"Well yeah but.."

"Wherever is home to you, is home to me. I know you want to stay here Spence and teach here. So I guess I am staying here too."

"Ash. I can't let.."

"Shhh." She placed a finger to my lips. "I have thought a lot about this over the last month. It always came down to one thing. I love you. I love you and I want you to be happy."

"Ash I am happy as long as I am with you. No matter where that is."

I pulled her over to a corner booth. We both sat on the same side. I took her hands in mine.

"I can't ask you to change your life around for me. L.A. is your home. You have your music. Your dad and friends are there…"

"Stop." She interrupted me yet again.

"I already made up my mind. YOU are my home Spence. And your home is here. I talked to my dad. I talked to my friends. I talked to Miranda. They all said the same thing. Follow my heart…. My heart led me here, to you."

A tear fell from my eye and she wiped it away with her thumb.

"Ash." I cried out. How was it possible to fall in love with the same person over and over and over again?

"I'm not giving anything up by leaving L.A. Nothing means as much to me as you and our future. This is our future Spence. If this is still what you want."

"Of course I want this Ash. You and I together, here with my family, teaching at U of M. It's my dream. But I don't want you to give up your dreams."

"I'm not giving up anything."

"What about your music? Signing with your dad's label. Don't you need to be in L.A. for all of that?" I was not about to let her give up her music. It was a huge part of who she was and what I loved about her.

"It's not what I want anymore. Well the music part I will always want but not the contract. I don't care about that. I did the whole tour thing. I hated it. Not just because I missed you, I missed the personal part of it. The small crowd, the smell of it all." She paused to laugh. "It's hard to explain. I mean I loved performing for all of those people but not like I thought I would. After a while it just was too much. I just want to go back to the days where I sang one or two nights a week, in a small club, in front of people I know and love. It's not about being famous; it's not about the attention. I don't care if everyone knows about my music. I don't care if everyone doesn't get to hear it. I just care that you do. Being up there, on that stage every night and looking out there at those strange faces." She looked down at our tangled hands and then back up at me.

"It didn't mean anything. It didn't matter because you weren't in the crowd cheering me on. I want it to mean something again, I want it to matter. I can do that anywhere." She looked around the club. "I can do that here."

"Are you sure about all of this Ash? It's a big step."

"As long as you are going to take the step with me, yes. I have never been surer of anything in my life."

"Oh one more thing." She slid out of the booth and pulled me with her. We stood at the end of the table and suddenly she was dropping to her knee.

Oh my God!

"Spencer Carlin, will you….move in with me?" Uh?

I let out the breath I was holding and shook my head.

"What you didn't think I was gonna ask you to marry me did ya?" She laughed.

I pulled her up to her feet and into a kiss.

"Mmmm. Is that a yes?" She asked between kisses.

"Yes." I would probably say yes to anything she asked me.

Wait! She asked me to move in with her.

"Ash?"

"Yeah babe."

"What am I moving into with you?"

She laughed.

"Uh, I guess we need to go look for a house."

"So you ask me to move in with you without having a place to move into?"

"Well I couldn't exactly buy a house without you now could I? Buuuut, my bus is here." She joked.

"Your bus is here. Like here, here?"

"Yep, in the parking lot next door."

Without a word I grabbed her hand and pulled her through the club.

"We'll be back." I shouted to Miranda.

The minute we got inside the bus we literally attacked each other.

"Where's the driver?" I asked while she undid my jeans and pulled them down my legs.

"It's Mark and he went to get something to eat. He said he was gonna come to the club afterwards. Don't worry about him."

She pulled me to the back of the bus and into a rather large room. How big was this bus? The bed was rather large and it smelled like Ashley.

We both laid in the bed, skin to skin just looking into each other's eyes. It felt so good to just be near her. To feel her warmth. The smell her perfect scent.

I made the first move. I pulled her on top of me and opened my legs so she could rest in between them. Then I grabbed onto her hips and pulled her into me. She let out a long moan but I caught the end of it in my mouth. I kissed her hard and deepened it right away. My tongue slipped into her mouth the same time that she entered me. I threw my head back and her lips found my neck. I cannot tell you how amazing it felt to be with her like this again. My wildest dreams didn't even come close. And I had a lot of those lately.

Her mouth was suddenly all over me. My neck, my shoulders, my breast, my stomach and then she moved lower. It didn't take long after that. I couldn't contain myself the moment her tongue touched my clit. I was a writhing mess underneath her, my body crying out in more ways than one. I pulled her back up to me just before it hit me. I wanted to look into her eyes as I came. One last thrust and my body convulsed and the waves came over and over as she kissed my face and whispered 'I love you'.

We laid there for a few minutes while I caught my breath.

"I love you Spence." She said while moving my hair from my face.

"I love you too Ash. So much." I turned to face her.

My hand reached up and caressed her cheek before trailing lower. I paid much attention to her breast as I kissed her softly. When I found her wetness she moaned into my mouth again. It didn't take long after my fingers entered her. She came hard and quickly while screaming my name out.

_**Ashley's P.O.V.**_

Later that night we made our way to the condo. The condo where we first made love. After round 2 we showered and changed into pajamas and then made our way out onto the balcony. We sat down in the lounger and I held her as we looked up at the stars.

"Ash?"

"Hmmm?" I was so comfortable and exhausted. I was starting to drift off.

"What did you want to be when you were little? I know you wanted to be a big rock star but was there anything else?"

"Are we playing random question time? Haven't done that in a while."

"Sure. So, what did you want to be?"

"I wanted to be a teacher Spence."

"Seriously? I would have never guessed that."

"Well not a teacher teacher like you. I wanted to teach music. You see my dad taught me how to play the piano and the guitar and I always remember how cool and smart I thought he was. I remember every moment of that time. I remember thinking that I wanted to do that some day. I wanted to teach kids how to play instruments. I wanted to make them as happy as he made me."

"Oh and I also wanted to join the circus." I really did. She laughed.

"You would look so hot in one of the acrobat outfits."

"Yeah I would." Haha. Can you just see it?

"But I don't know, things change." I didn't know what my future held for me career wise.

"So if you're not going to pursue a music career, what are you going to do?" She was still worried about me giving up my dreams.

"I don't know Spence. For now though I am going to take some classes."

"Classes? Where?"

"U of M."

She whipped around and her eyes were as big as the moon.

"U of M? How?"

"It's called money Spence. And I have some connections."

"Really? You're serious Ashley?" She was so cute sometimes.

"I'm serious baby. You're gonna teach there and I am gonna be a student."

"Hmmm. Sounds familiar." She laughed.

"Yep. I am even thinking about taking this literature class. I heard there is a smoking hot blonde teaching it."

"Oh really now? You know that that would be against policy right?"

"Nope. Not against policy. Just very much frowned upon."

"Are you being serious?"

"Dead serious."

"You know there are many other literature classes you can take?"

"I know. But I want to take yours."

"Awe. You miss me being your teacher?"

"I do. Especially when you wore those short, short, short skirts."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"You are not taking my class Ash. I can't go through that again."

"But Spence." I pouted.

She turned around and straddled me. Her soft lips met mine as she lifted the bottom of my shirt and scraped my abs slightly with her finger nails. Suddenly I was ready for round 3.

"Don't worry Davies. You are still the Teacher's Pet."

_**The END**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>More than likely going to do an epilogue. A look into Spashley's life 7 years down the road.<strong>_

_**How does that sound?**_

_**Of course that all depends on how inspired I am….so inspire me.**_

**Song:**

_Where You Are- The Amazing… Gavin DeGraw_


	53. Chapter 53 7 years

_**So here it is. The official ending. Once again I would like to thank everyone who read and especially those of you who shared your thoughts with me. I appreciated each and every review. The last 7+ months have been much like this story..an emotional rollercoaster and I am so glad I decided to not listen to the negativity and post this story here. I have met some great people and made some wonderful friends. **_

_**So Thank You :)**_

_**Without further ado...I bring to you..the longest chapter in the history of fanfiction. Grab a snack!**_

_**I hope you enjoy the last ride.**_

_**For the last time**_..._I own nothing but my imagination_.

* * *

><p>"Ashley, what's going on? Are they going to be okay?"<p>

I didn't know the answer. I wish I did. She was freaking out more than me at the moment. I think I was just in shock.

"I don't know anything Miranda. All I know is that there was an accident. They brought them in a couple hours ago. Spence looked okay. I was in the room talking to her and then something went wrong. They kicked me out of the room." I stared straight ahead. At the wall, at nothing.

All I remember seeing was blood and the look of sheer panic on her face.

All I remember hearing was her screaming my name as they pushed me out of the room.

"Ash she's going to be okay. They both will." She sat down and put an arm around me. I leaned into her.

My thoughts drifted back….

_**7 years ago...**_

"_Ash this is the 23__rd__ house we have looked at. Why are you being so picky?" She was sitting on the porch of the latest house that I decided against and refused to get up._

"_Spence this house is.." _

"_Perfect." She smiled her breathtaking Spencer smile._

_I scrunched my nose and she laughed._

"_Ashley I am tired of looking at houses. I just want to find one and move in so we can be together in our new house." She whined._

_I sat down next to her and slid my hand in between hers. Pulling one up to my lips I kissed it gently._

"_I want that too baby. But I want the perfect house for my perfect girlfriend and I to live in. This house is not it Spence."_

_She shifted so that she was facing me and looked at me questioningly._

"_This house is beautiful Spence. There is no doubt about that. But when I walked into it I just didn't feel it."_

"_Feel what Ash."_

"_It just didn't feel right. I couldn't picture myself living here with you. I couldn't picture us being happy here. I couldn't picture our kids running down the hall or playing in the backyard. Did you see how small the backyard was Spence?"_

_She smiled at me like she does when she sees little puppies and I shook my head._

"_Stop it. I'm just saying. This house is not us Spence." I stood up and walked towards the car. She followed me and when she got in she looked over at me again._

"_Why do you have to be so damn adorable?" She laughed._

_I glared at her and pinched her side. _

"_Take that back." She knew how much I hated that._

_She shook her head._

"_Take it back." I warned her._

"_Nope."_

_I leaned towards her so my lips were inches from hers. _

"_This is your last chance." _

_I was nearly in the passenger's seat. Moving my hand down I pushed the lever on the side of her seat and it started moving backwards. I climbed out of my seat and straddled her._

"_Ashley. What are you doing?"_

"_Shhh." I whispered in her ear as I reclined the seat back._

_She closed her eyes when I grinded into her. _

"_Ash." She moaned._

"_You know that I don't like being called adorable." I whispered as I moved my mouth to her ear and licked the lobe slowly._

"_I know baby." Her voice was low. She was trying to keep in control._

"_Then take it back and say you're sorry." I whispered again before finding her pulse point and sucking gently._

"_I can't do that. It's true."_

"_So you're not going to take it back and say you're sorry?" I asked looking directly into her lust filled eyes. I licked her bottom lip and sucked it into my mouth._

"_Not a chance." She moaned out._

_One last time I grinded into her and she gasped into my mouth. She leaned forward to kiss me and I backed away and slid off of her and back to my seat._

"_Okay then."_

_I put my seatbelt on and started the car._

"_Ash what are you doing? No, wait."_

_I laughed. "Too late Spence."_

_The look on her face was priceless. Open mouth and now squinted eyes that were glaring at me._

"_I can't believe you did that." She crossed her arms in front of her._

"_I can't believe you wouldn't say sorry." I moved my hand to put the car in drive and she put hers over mine. _

_Suddenly she was on top of me and scooting my chair back._

"_I take it back okay." _

_She kissed me softly._

"_I'm sorry."_

_She kissed my cheek._

"_I'm sorry."_

_She kissed my temple._

"_I'm sorry."_

_Then my forehead._

"_I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."_

_She made her way back to my lips._

"_Forgive me?"_

_My God she looked so beautiful._

"_Mmmm. I do."_

* * *

><p>Looking back at the simpler times I couldn't help but smile.<p>

We finally found a house a week later. It was the 35th house we looked at. But it was perfect. It was a two story, stone house right off our own private lake. The property itself was rather large and Spencer's eyes lit up the moment she stepped out of the car.

It didn't take long after that to sign the papers and move in. Our life together had officially begun.

"Ashley? Ashley? Ash?" I was taken away from my thoughts by Miranda shaking my shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry."

"Do you want me to get you anything to eat or drink? I was gonna get some coffee."

"Yeah Miranda, coffee sound good." I leaned my head back and closed my eyes as a tear dropped from my eye.

I didn't open them as Miranda pulled me into her arms and held me.

"Everything is going to be fine. They are going to be fine. You have to believe that Ash." She whispered as she pulled away and rubbed my arms.

"I know." Is all I said.

I didn't know. I was so scared. But I knew I had to be strong.

Miranda left to get some coffee and I made my way over to the window. It was dark now and the stars shone over the city so brightly making me think of Alyssa.

My thoughts drifted again…..

_**6 years ago…..**_

"_Are you ready gorgeous?" I wasn't even close to being ready. I was so nervous._

"_I'm so nervous Spence." My hands were sweaty and I couldn't stop pacing._

"_Awe baby don't be. I'll be up there right next to you holding your hand."_

_She always found a way to calm me down. _

"_I have stood in front of thousands of people and poured my heart to them and yet I am nervous about standing in front of 20 or so people to do a little speech."_

"_Ash it isn't just a little speech and you're nervous because you want it to be perfect. I understand that baby but what you wrote is beautiful and they are both going to love it. I'm sure of it."_

_She put her arms around me from behind and kissed my shoulder. _

"_You just go up there and be you Ash."_

_I closed my eyes and took a deep breath._

"_I can do this. I am Ashley Fucking Davies. I got this!"_

_Spencer laughed and kissed my shoulder again. _

"_There she is. My gorgeous and… cocky girlfriend."_

_I spun around and pulled her into me._

"_Am I wrong to be cocky?" I looked into her eyes seductively._

"_Not at all baby."_

_She kissed my cheek and fixed my hair._

"_Now come on. You have a speech to give."_

_Standing up on that small stage in front of a couple dozen people was nerve wracking. Especially with my dad and my new mom standing not 10ft in front of me. My new mom. That felt so weird to say. But I liked it. _

_I had nothing to be nervous about though. They turned to look at each other and the look of love in their eyes and the smile on their faces took all my nerves away. Not to mention the feel of Spencer's hand in mine. Warmth, love, security._

_I stepped up to the front of the stage pulling Spencer with me._

_Here goes nothing._

"_Dad, I love you and I stand up here today wishing you the best of everything. I had hoped for so long that you would find someone like Janet. Someone who would take care of you, laugh with you, love you and most of all deal with your stubbornness and of course your cockiness." _

_Everyone laughed and Spencer squeezed my hand and snickered under her breath. I knew what she was thinking._

"_Janet, I love you and I stand up here today thanking you. Thank you for loving him and making him so incredibly happy. I have never seen the look in his eyes that I see when he looks at you. He finally got what he deserved when he found you." I paused and cleared my throat. Memories of Alyssa flowing through my thoughts. _

"_She told me to make sure you were taken care of. It was all she wanted." I was looking directly at her, she knew who I was talking about. Her eyes instantly teared up and my dad gently wrapped an arm around her._

"_I know she is watching us now. I know she is smiling because she got her wish." _

_My words caught in my throat and I wiped the tears that begun to fall. Another squeeze from Spencer's hand. Thank God she was up here with me._

"_I only hope that you two spend the rest of your lives loving each other and taking care of each other like you both deserve. That you cherish and respect each other with every day the passes. I love you both so much."_

_Spencer handed me a glass of wine and I raised it into the air._

"_To Mr. and Mrs. Raife Davies."_

* * *

><p>They enjoyed a 2 month honeymoon and then came home to the beach house where they decided to stay for good. 8 months after that they drove to a foster home in L.A. and 2 weeks later they had officially adopted an 11 year old girl and her 7 year old brother. Cassidy and Joshua were accepted into our little family fast and I couldn't have been happier to finally have siblings. I only wished we didn't live so far from each other. That didn't stop me from spoiling them. Oh no. They loved their big sis Ashley.<p>

The Star Foundation finally took off and Janet was housing 3-4 children at a time. It had become well known in California and soon the foundation had spread to Chicago, New York and Houston. She had won several awards for her charity work.

Alyssa would have been so proud of her mom. I know we all were.

Especially my dad. He was happy to just sit back and watch her work. He was happy to just sit back and let her shine. Most days he did just that and some days he worked at his record label. Even after all these years he still has that look in his eye when he is watching her or talking to her. They were so happy and in love.

"Here Ash. Black just the way you like it." Miranda handed me my coffee but I just set it on the table next to the window. I didn't want to drink or eat or do much of anything. My stomach was in knots. I was so worried about Spencer.

"Arthur should be here any minute. He couldn't get ahold of Paula. I guess she's still in New York but he said he would keep trying."

I just nodded and sat back down. I pulled my feet up onto the chair and hugged my knees to my chest.

The images just wouldn't stop…..

_**5 years ago….**_

"_Uh, I know you're not open yet but I saw the Help Wanted sign in the window."_

_That voice sounded familiar. I whipped around to see him wearing a shy grin._

"_Chris? What are you doing here?" I hadn't seen him in nearly 2 years._

"_I'm here to get my girl back. But I, I sorta need some help." He put his head down and stared at his feet._

_I was happy to see him. Miranda missed him so much._

"_So you need a job? Cause I could definitely use the help." I asked him. I really was desperate._

"_With the club or with the guitar and piano lessons?" He looked up at me excitingly._

"_Both?" I really did need help with the club and I was guessing he needed the money._

"_Cool. When do I start?"_

_So yeah I opened up my own club. I named it Blue. I am sure you can guess where I got the name. It was small and cozy and every night was Open Mic Night. I played once or twice a week. Sometimes more if I needed to fill in a spot or someone cancelled. On the side of the club was another entrance. That door led to the Music Room. In addition to teaching kids at our home in my spare time I had opened the Music Room to teach anyone who wanted to learn. Between that, taking classes, and running my own club I had worn myself down. I was in desperate need for help. Chris couldn't have come at a better time. _

_When Miranda graduated she chose to come to Michigan as well. Chris was going to come with her but his new band was slated to tour small gigs all of California and he went on the road instead. _

_Unlike Spencer and my relationship, theirs did not make it. She said a tearful goodbye to him over the phone after 7 emotionally exhausting months and I held her for hours afterwards as she sobbed. _

_Eventually she moved on but she never went past the first date with anyone. She was still in love with him, even though she denied it. She threw herself into her studies and at the rate she was going she was going to be the youngest Psychologist in history. _

_Yep a Psychologist. _

_What a surprise right? _

_Chris helped out at the club and took over with the lessons at the Music Room while I studied and kept my lessons with the kids. He lived in the office at the club which was actually more like a small apartment. Hey it was Spencer's idea. She joked and said I needed a place to stay when she kicked me out of the house after a fight. Of course it was a joke. Spencer and I barely fought and when we did it was usually because of my stubbornness. We would make up minutes later in more ways than one. Which of course made her believe I started fights on purpose. _

_Would I do something like that? _

_Uh, I plead the Fifth._

_Miranda stayed with us but when she was at school she stayed in a dorm. Chris came home with me one Saturday night and surprised her. She was confused at first but after the two of them talked for an hour or so I found her in his lap kissing him. I may or may not have been spying a bit. Spencer pulled me out of the house and we took off for the night. Needless to say the two of them were a couple again the next morning. Miranda was so happy. She gave me a big hug and thanked me. She cooked us all dinner that night to show her appreciation. I didn't need a thank you dinner. Just seeing her smile and actually mean it again was enough._

* * *

><p>"Hey sweetheart, Miranda filled me in on the details. Everything is going to be alright Ashley. My daughter is strong. She'll be okay."<p>

He held out his arms and I crashed into them. My dad was off in Europe with Janet and the kids and I wished he were here. But Arthur had become my second father. I felt so safe and comfortable with him. I don't know what Spencer and I would have done without him over the years. Or Paula for that matter.

We sat down and he held on tight to me.

"They had to do an emergency surgery on her. I don't understand what happened. I just wish they would let me know what's going on." I cried into his shoulder. I had been strong and quiet up until that point. I knew I didn't have to with Mr. C.

"I don't know Ash. But I am sure she is being taken care of. This is a good hospital with good doctors. They are both going to be fine."

Just like his daughter, he always knew how to calm me down.

With my head buried in his neck I went back again…

_**4 years ago….**_

"_Hi Ashley. What brings you by?" _

_He was in the kitchen preparing dinner like usual. And like usual it smelled delicious._

"_I uh, I wanted to talk to you, Paula and Gram."_

_He was slicing tomatoes but quickly stopped and looked up at me._

"_Is everything okay?"_

"_Everything is great. Are they home?" I was so nervous._

"_They should be home any minute. They went shopping for Little Jack's birthday party." He went back to slicing the tomatoes._

"_I can't believe he is going to be 4 already. Time sure does fly. I remember when he was just a baby crawling around everywhere." _

"_Yeah, seems like just yesterday doesn't it?"_

_Glen had married Jack's mom a little over 8 months ago. He was promoted to Store Manager and got a big enough raise that he was able to buy a small house for them to live in. It was about 5 minutes from the Carlin home. Glen officially became Jack's father a couple months after the wedding. It was a rather large wedding and so beautiful. I had stood up alongside Spencer, Miranda and 2 other girls as a bridesmaid. Glen and I had become very close over the years. He was like the brother that I never knew I wanted, along with one of my best friends. _

"_So do you need any help?" Maybe he would let me sample the finished meal if I helped him out._

"_Nope. Almost done but thanks." He smirked. He knew what my intentions were._

"_You can stay for dinner if you would like Ash. I know Spence went out with some friends tonight. We would love for you to stay."_

"_Thanks Pops." I took a seat on the stool with a giant smile on my face._

_He laughed. "You're always welcome Ash."_

_We sat down to a delicious meal and chatted about Paula's job and Little Jack's birthday party and finally Spencer and I._

"_So you wanted to talk to us about something?" Arthur said as he brought a tray filled with coffee out to the patio. We had moved outside after dinner. It was a beautiful night._

_He handed me a cup and I set it down in front of me and wiped my now sweaty hands on my jeans. The nervousness was back._

_I turned to face them all and felt Gram slide her hand on top of mine. Her eyes told me it was okay. She knew._

"_You all know how much I love Spencer. I just want to take care of her and make her feel safe and happy and…" I took a deep breath._

"_I want to marry her. I think we are ready for that. I know I am. I want to her to be my wife and I want to start a family."_

_Paula's eyes lit up, Arthur smiled like a proud dad and Gram squeezed my hand and had a smile that matched Arthur's. _

"_So I guess I just wanted to run it by you all first. I am hoping you approve but no matter what I plan on asking her. For real this time."_

_Arthur spoke first._

"_Ashley I know I can speak for all of us when we say we want nothing more than happiness for Spencer and for you. I know my daughter and I know you make her happy. And I know you enough to know that you will always do everything and anything to make her happy. You have my approval. You always have."_

"_Thanks Pops." We stood up and he hugged me. _

"_I am going to go see if the pie is ready. It seems we have some celebrating to do." He let go and walked back into the house. I turned to see Gram at my side._

_She took both of my hands and kissed my cheek._

"_Well it's about time pumpkin. I was hoping I would get to see my Spencer walk down the aisle before I croaked."_

"_Gram!" Paula and I shouted at the same time._

"_What?" She shrugged. "Spencer is one lucky girl. I love you both and I can't wait to go pick out my maid of honor dress." I laughed and she winked._

"_Now where's that pie?" It was her turn to walk into the house and I was left there alone with the dragon lady._

_That really isn't fair to call her that anymore. Paula and I had become close as well. She treated me like a member of the family. I no longer felt like she wished Spencer had found another man instead of me. I no longer felt the need to bring my tire iron with me for protection._

_I sat down next to her._

"_I really wish you would say something." Her silence was scaring me._

_She looked over at me and I saw her watery eyes._

"_Are you upset?" I looked down at my hands and then back up at her._

_She shook her head no._

"_Are you crying because you're happy? Please say yes."_

_She laughed softly and wiped her face before scooting over and putting her arm around me._

"_Relax Ashley. I'm crying because I am happy." _

_I sighed in relief and she laughed again._

"_Of course I approve of you asking Spence to marry you. Where have you been the last few years? I want nothing more than to witness you two pledge your love to each other and make it official."_

_She pulled me closer to her and gave me a reassuring smile._

"_You don't have to worry about me Ashley. I have come a long way. I saw the way you two loved each other so unconditionally and effortlessly and I realized that love is love. It doesn't matter who you find it with as long as you can make each other happy in every way. And you do. I've never seen a love like you have with Spence. The way you two complete each other, that's destiny. If it weren't for seeing that with my own eyes I may have never believed it. I may never have found it in myself to work things out with Arthur. We may have never found our way back to each other. Your love for my daughter and her love for you inspired me and gave me something to believe in. I'm happy Ashley. I'm happy that Spence met you and took that huge risk to be with you. I'm happy that you changed your life around for her. I'm happy that you are here looking for approval. I think I can stand by my husband when I say you have always had it."_

_I sat there stunned, trying to take in everything she just said. _

"_I really wish you would say something." She repeated my words from earlier._

_I turned to face her. Her eyes were still watery as were mine now._

"_Thank you."_

_A month later we were vacationing in a villa right off of a beach in Fiji. It was a much needed vacation for the both of us. The first night we were there we took a walk down the beautiful, moonlit shore. We walked for miles taking in the nearly serene summer night. When we got back to our villa we plopped down on the sand and I held her in front of me._

"_It's so beautiful here Ash." _

"_It is. We should move here don't ya think?" _

_She laughed. I was serious._

"_What? I'm sure you could find somewhere to teach and I could find a place to play music and we'd live in a hut."_

_She tilted her head back and kissed my chin._

"_A hut?" She asked followed by a giggle._

"_Well yeah, cause there really isn't anywhere to teach around here for miles Spence and I don't think I would get paid much to play my music so we would be broke in a matter of months and would have to move into a hut."_

"_Oooookay. So I guess moving to Fiji is out of the question."_

"_What? So you wouldn't want to live in a hut with me?" I fake pouted. She turned her face to kiss me._

"_If you were living in a hut Ash, I would obviously be living in a hut too."_

"_Good. Cause I kinda can't live without you." She leaned back and I kissed her softly. My insides were all a flutter at the touch of her lips on mine. It was amazing that she still made me feel this way every time she touched me. _

_Being with her in this moment, on this beautiful beach, under the gorgeous night sky with the moon shining down on us couldn't have been more perfect. I honestly didn't think there could ever be a more perfect moment than this. _

_I scooted out from behind Spencer and stood up._

"_Where are you going? Are you ready to go in?" _

"_No. Just stay there and look straight ahead. Don't look back." _

"_Why? What are you up to?"_

"_Don't worry about it. Just look ahead. Promise you won't look back until I say so."_

"_Okay I promise."_

_I made sure she wasn't looking before I started. It only took me a couple minutes and when I finished I took a deep breath and walked back to Spencer._

_I stood in front of her and pulled her to her feet._

"_Should I be scared?" She asked with a laugh._

"_No baby, not at all."_

_I slowly turned her around and when she saw it she gasped. _

_In big letters written in the sand were the words I had been asking Spencer for years._

_Will you marry me?_

_Only this time I meant it._

_By the time she turned around to face me I was on one knee. I didn't have the ring on me because I hadn't planned on asking her yet._

_I grabbed her hand as she wiped some tears with the other._

"_You're serious this time?" She asked through her tears._

"_I am. I mean it with all my heart. Marry me Spence. Be my wife. I promise I will spend every day for the rest of my life doing everything I can to make you happy. Fishing, bowling, plays, Disney movies, you name it. I love you Spencer Ann Carlin. Say yes, say you'll be my wife."_

_She pulled me up and onto my feet. Her lips met mine in a soft yet passionate kiss. _

"_Is that a yes?" I asked with my eyes still closed as she pulled away._

"_I have said yes every time. What makes you think I wouldn't say yes this time? When you actually mean it."_

"_I meant it every time I asked you Spence." My hand reached for her face on its own caressing her cheek and smoothing her lip with my thumb._

"_I know you did. And as for the answer to your question…it's the same as it always is. Yes. Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes I will marry you Ashley Marie Davies. I want nothing more than to be your wife and call you mine."_

* * *

><p>I took a sip from the barely warm coffee, my hands were shaking and I nearly spilled it.<p>

"Ashley have you eaten anything?" Miranda asked as she next on the other side of me. Mr. C. hadn't left my side since a nurse came in and told us that Spencer was still in surgery. She explained to us a little of what was going on and after she left the room I realized I needed to keep it together. For Spencer and for my family.

"Uh, no. I , I don't remember." I don't remember anything that happened before I got the phone call.

"How about I get you some food? I know you don't feel like eating but you have to eat something." Miranda was always taking care of me.

"Yeah that's fine. Just something small."

"Okay. I'll be right back." She kissed my forehead before standing up to leave.

"Miranda!" She turned just outside the door.

"Thanks."

She smiled and nodded.

I took another sip from the now cold coffee and leaned my head back. It hit the wall softly as I closed my eyes.

_**3 and a half years ago….**_

"_You look so beautiful Ash." Miranda said so proudly. She was standing behind me as we both looked in the full length mirror in front of us._

"_Thanks."_

"_Are you nervous?"_

"_Not one bit. I have been waiting for this moment for years. If anything I am excited."_

"_Good. That makes one of us." She gave me a nervous smile._

_I turned around and hugged her._

"_Why are you so nervous? I am the one who has to speak in front of like a hundred people." _

"_I still have to stand up there in front of them." Spencer and I had fought over who Miranda was going to stand next to. We both wanted her by our side. I eventually gave in and told her she could have her. But then she surprised me and chose Carrie. Carrie had been Spencer's best friend growing up and when she moved back to Michigan they became very close again. I knew she would rather have Miranda but she knew how much I needed her by my side._

"_You'll be alright Miranda. Just stand there and look beautiful. It won't be very hard." She smiled at me._

"_Thanks Ash."_

"_And if you get nervous you always have Chris. He'll be standing right next to you."_

_Since our ceremony would already be 'non-traditional' we decided to change it up even more. We would both have guys and girls standing up by our sides. I had Miranda, Chris, Madi, Casey and Mark (hey, I promised the big oaf). Spencer had Carrie, Glen, Stacey, Kat and Little Jack. The girls wore short, strapless, light lilac dresses and the guys wore white pants with longs sleeved, light lilac dress shirts. Spencer and I both wore white dresses. I wore a white, silk chiffon dress that was just below the knees. My hair was down in curls (like Spencer wanted) and had a white stephanotis flower in it. Spencer wore a…..well you'll just have to wait and see._

_The setting was beautiful. It was just before 7pm. The sun was low in the sky. It was a beautiful California night. Not too warm but not a chill in the air. The altar stood just before the shore and was decorated with a white arch, with thick white roses and ivy. The sandy aisle was decorated with purple and white rose pedals. 50 white chairs on each side of it. A white luminary was set up at the beginning of each row waiting to be lit. The day couldn't have been more perfect. _

_At 7:30 I stepped barefoot into the sand. Everyone stood up as I walked towards them. The minister stood at the altar, my dad just before him, my bridesmaids and groomsman lined up behind him, all 50 chairs occupied by a smiling face, luminaries lit, piano playing._

_I walked down the aisle with Miranda just behind me. I won't lie I did get nervous with all of the stares and smiles. My dad met me half way and took my hand and hooked my arm around his. I whispered 'Thank You' and he whispered back 'You're welcome beautiful". He looked so proud and out of the corner of my eye I saw him wipe his eyes with his other hand. _

_We stopped just before the altar and he turned to face me. Tears slowly trickling down his face._

"_Wow Ash. You have always been my princess and tonight you look like exactly that. You look so beautiful and happy. I am so proud of you. You didn't have an easy upbringing and I will always blame myself for that. But here you stand, about to marry a very special, beautiful, smart young lady. You have done so well for yourself and I truly couldn't feel more blessed than I do at this very moment." Tears steadily lined his cheeks and I could feel mine start to form behind my eyes. I did my best to hold them back. I knew for sure they would be bursting out later._

"_I love you Ashley." He leaned down to hug me and I wrapped my arms around his back._

"_I love you too Daddy."_

_I walked up to the altar with Miranda close beside me. I felt her right hand slide into mine and I felt an instant calm. I squeezed her hand softly and she squeezed it back. I was so thankful to have her by my side. The minister gave me a nod and I smiled. Years ago marrying Spencer would not have been legal. We were lucky enough to say goodbye to that law here in California a few years ago. We both wanted to get married here where it all started. Well we got our wish._

_The white grand piano that sat at the back of the ceremony stopped briefly and then began playing softly. Keeping up with the 'non-traditional' ceremony it didn't play the bridal march. The beautiful music flowing from it was a song called Feather Theme by Alan Silvestri. Of course Spencer chose it. It was always one of her favorite songs and she wanted to feel at ease walking down the aisle._

_My eyes were on the piano when I felt another squeeze from Miranda and a low gasp from our guests. My eyes darted for the aisle and I saw her._

_And cue the tears._

_I swallowed hard and wiped the few that slid down my cheeks._

_Our eyes met and I could see a few tears in hers as well._

_To say she was beautiful wouldn't give her justice._

_I couldn't even begin to describe to you in words because those words didn't exist._

_She walked down the aisle slowly between the rows of guests who couldn't take their eyes off of her if they wanted._

_Her white silk chiffon, strapless, floor length gown fit her body so well as she glided over the sand and pedals towards me. The strapless dress showed off her sun-kissed shoulders, her hair was partially up with curls and also had a white flower in it. Long diamond earrings hung from her ears and a short white gold necklace with a blue sapphire heart surrounded by diamonds in the center. _

_I remember Gram telling me she had something old, blue and borrowed to give Spencer. I also remember her telling me that she was actually Rose from Titanic and she had the Heart of the Ocean. I snickered a bit to myself seeing it now. It really did look like the necklace from Titanic. _

_Gotta love Gram._

_Mr. C.'s face resembled my dad's as he escorted my soon to be bride down the aisle. I only looked at him for a quick moment before my eyes found hers once again. I winked and she smiled that beautiful Spencer Carlin smile and her tanned cheeks showed a bit of pink. Of course I had to make her blush on our wedding day. They stopped just before me and turned towards each other. Mr. C. said a few words that only she could hear before kissing her forehead and hugging her briefly but tightly. He sat down next to a sobbing Paula and grabbed her hand._

_Finally…._

_I reached my hand out to her and she slid hers into it without hesitation. I pulled her towards me and it took every ounce of strength in me to not kiss her right there and then._

_We faced each other hand in hand as the minister began his speech. What he said I had no clue. Once her hands were in mine and she was close enough to touch the outside world just…disappeared. _

_It was just the two of us._

_We just stood there smiling at each other, our eyes saying a million words. _

"_Ash?" She whispered breaking me out of my trance and then giggled clearly amused._

"_Do you want me to go first?" She whispered again. _

_I nodded._

"_I once wrote a poem for you. It was here on this beach nearly 4 and a half years ago. I want you to hear it again…today. I want you to hear again from my lips, from my voice, from my heart."_

_She paused and closed her eyes._

_My God she looked so beautiful._

_When she opened them she looked directly into mine._

"_You walked into my life,_

_And took me by surprise,_

_You made me feel so loved,_

_You made me feel alive._

_You moved me with your words,_

_They hit me like a train,_

_You held me in your arms,_

_And you took away the pain._

_You opened my mind,_

_I see everything so clear,_

_You took me by the hand,_

_And you chased away the fear._

_You looked into my eyes,_

_And saw straight to my soul,_

_You took what was left of my heart,_

_And you made it whole."_

_Again I swallowed hard and held the tears back._

_She was fighting to keep hers at bay as well._

"_I love you Ashley." Her voice cracked and she dabbed her eyes with a white cloth._

"_I knew the day I met you that you would have some sort of effect on my life. I knew I was in trouble." She quietly laughed and so did a few others._

_I just smirked of course._

"_You were so beautiful and sweet and extremely cocky." She laughed again._

"_And before I knew it I wanted to be in your world. I wanted to be in your arms and in your heart. And I wanted you in mine. Now I have that and I get to spend the rest of my life right where I want to be. The only place I belong." _

_Finally a tear fell and she let it go. I reached up and wiped it away letting my fingers linger on her cheek. She held my hand to her face and closed her eyes._

_With her eyes closed she continued. "Thank you for being you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for making me fall in love with you every day. Thank you for giving me your heart and taking such good care of mine. You make me so happy. I only hope that I can give you everything that you have given me and that I can spend the rest of our lives finding ways to say Thank You and I love you."_

_When her eyes opened back up I whispered back. "I love you too."_

_I was so moved by her vows. _

"_Wow, I have to follow that? Maybe I should've gone first." I chuckled, Spencer shook her head and smiled and the guests laughed. _

_It was my turn. Shit!_

_Her hands still in mine I lifted them to my mouth and kissed them._

"_I have always been good with words. They have always come natural to me. But standing up here with you in this moment…" I got choked up and my voice cracked. _

_Spencer whispered.. "It's okay." _

_This was going to be harder than I thought. I shut out the world again. Only her in my vision._

"_I never thought that someday I would be standing up at an altar about to marry an amazing woman who I loved more than anything. I never dreamed about this day until the day I met you. The first moment I saw you something changed in me. Like the universe came to a standstill the moment our eyes met. You were so beautiful, confident and smart and I was instantly mesmerized by you. I didn't stand a chance. I had never been in love. I didn't even know the meaning. You showed me the meaning. You saw something in me that I didn't even know was there. Nobody did. You believed in me. When nobody did. And you gave me a reason to believe in myself. You loved me and by doing that I found a reason to love myself as well." _

_In that moment I let go. The tears started to fall and I didn't try to stop them. _

"_I stand up here today promising to spend the rest of our lives giving you more reasons to love me and believe in me. I promise to do everything and anything to make you smile, to make you laugh, to make you happy. I promise to feed you soup when you're ill and hold you when your sad. I'll be beside you even when you're wrong and I'll be your strength when you have none. I promise to never give up on you, there's not a chance of that. You taught me so many things Spencer. Love, understanding, forgiveness...how to fish." She giggled through her tears. _

"_Well that last one you weren't very good at. We were out there all day and I didn't catch a thing." She was full on laughing now along with everyone else._

_What? I couldn't have it be a complete sappy, love fest._

"_I have never been happier, felt more loved, and been more in love than I am in this moment. You look too beautiful for words and there is no-one luckier than me right now or forever for that matter. I still can't believe that I get to spend the rest of my life with you and I am going to make damn sure that never changes. I love Spencer. With everything I am and everything I have. I will always take care of you and your heart. _

_In the words of the wise E.E. Cummings…. 'I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.' _

_In the words of the even wiser Ashley Davies… 'You made me fall in love with you, I am so whipped, there I said it. Say you'll be my wife Spence, and I promise you will never regret it.'"_

_She tilted her head to the side, her eyes watery, tears on her cheeks and a huge smile._

"_I said yes then. I say yes now."_

"_Does that mean I can kiss you now?" She giggled again and looked towards the minister._

_He asked for the rings. We slid them onto each other's fingers while repeating his words. _

_And then finally… "You may now kiss your bride."_

_Our smiles matched each other's as we leaned forward. I took her face in my hands and pressed my lips to hers. I felt her arms reach around my back and she pulled me in closer. This kiss was slow and passionate and full of fire. I could taste her tears and feel her heart beating fast against me. Mine was doing the same thing. Our lips glided smoothly together and at the last moment I felt her tongue slip into my mouth briefly. I had to use every amount of my strength to stop myself._

_We pulled away slowly and stopped inches from each other's face. I leaned in to give her one more kiss and I heard the clapping and cheering. I wondered if they had been doing that the entire time. _

"_Ladies and gentleman I would like to introduce you to Mrs. and Mrs. Ashley Davies."_

_Spencer took my name but she kept hers as well. She was now Spencer Carlin-Davies. I was okay with that. I respected that because I respected and loved the Carlins._

_The after party was amazing of course. We ate, had drinks and danced. We danced our first dance as wife and wife to To Make You Feel My Love by Adele. So fitting considering I sang it to Spencer the very first time we danced on my 18__th__ birthday._

_It was a couple hours into the reception when I realized that my wife and I hadn't really had a moment alone. I found her near the cake table with Glen and a few of their friends._

"_My wife and I need a moment alone." I said with a smile while dragging her away. I loved calling her my wife. I couldn't get enough of it._

_I pulled her out of the party and over to the piano that still stood behind where the ceremony took place._

_Backing her up into the piano I leaned in and kissed her. The kiss deepened instantly and suddenly I wished she wasn't wearing a long dress. _

"_I've wanted to do that all night Spence."_

"_Me too baby."_

"_You think anyone will notice we're gone?" _

"_Nah, we've fed them all quite a few drinks." She smiled and her nose crinkled. _

"_Well I would definitely notice if you weren't in the room." _

"_My wife, always the charmer."_

"_Only with you beautiful." I kissed her softly._

_I let go of her and took a seat at the piano. _

"_Sit with me. I want to sing my wife a song on our wedding day."_

"_What are you going to sing?" She asked while taking a seat next to me._

"_Well I didn't plan this so I guess I am gonna have to wing it. But I think I have the perfect song."_

"_In this moment anything you sing to me will be perfect." _

"_I think my cheesiness has rubbed off on you Spence." I said with a chuckle._

"_I think so too Ash." She admitted._

_My fingers started dancing over the keys. She looked at me and smiled. Oh God I loved her smile. Looking directly into her eyes I began the song._

"_Some day when I'm awfully low, _

_When the world is cold, _

_I will feel a glow just thinking of you, _

_And the way you look tonight. _

_You're lovely, with your smile so warm, _

_And your cheeks so soft. _

_There is nothing for me but to love you, _

_And the way you look tonight. _

_With each word your tenderness grows, _

_Tearing my fears apart. _

_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose, _

_It touches my foolish heart. _

_Lovely, never, ever change. _

_Keep that breathless charm. _

_Won't you please arrange it? _

_'Cause I love you, _

_Just the way you look tonight. _

_With each word your tenderness grows, _

_Tearing my fears apart. _

_And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,_

_It touches my foolish heart._

_Lovely, never, ever change. _

_Keep that breathless charm. _

_Won't you please arrange it? _

_'Cause I love you, _

_Just the way you look tonight._

_The way you look tonight._

_Ooooh tonight."_

"_That was so beautiful Ashley. I love you."_

_It was the best day of my life._

* * *

><p>I opened my eyes and stood up. I hated not being able to do anything. The words in my vows replaying over and over in my head.<p>

_I promise to do everything and anything to make you smile, to make you laugh, to make you happy. _

_I'll be your strength._

_I still can't believe that I get to spend the rest of my life with you and I am going to make damn sure that never changes._

"Ashley?"

"Yeah?"

"You alright?"

I know he was concerned but that was a stupid question to ask.

"I will be alright when I know Spencer is alright." I snapped back.

"Sorry." I said right away.

"It's okay. I know you are scared. I am too." He knew not to say anything else. We didn't know that Spencer was going to be fine. But she had to be. I couldn't live without her. I needed her. Our family needed her.

As strong as I needed to be I just couldn't do it. I felt completely helpless and I hated that. I walked over to a wall and slid down it. My head in my hands I went back to the day everything changed.

_**A little over 2 years ago….**_

"_Hey baby." Spencer said while coming in the room and sitting on my desk._

_She was good for a visit or two during the week. Today was my lucky day._

"_So how was your day? You didn't flirt with any of your students did you?"_

"_Spence that's gross." _

_Right after graduation I applied to teach music at a nearby elementary school. I got the job and started almost immediately. I loved my job. I loved the look on those kids' faces when they got a note right. I had contemplated opening up my own label but with us just getting married and wanting to start a family I knew I couldn't make that kind of commitment. It would take up too much of my time and I wanted to spend all of my time with Spencer._

_I finished up the paperwork I was working on and pushed it aside. I scooted her over so that she was directly in front of me on the desk. Running my hands up her legs and then back down before pulling her onto the chair with me._

"_I am so glad you came by. I have been thinking about you all morning." I said before pulling her head towards me and kissing her hard._

"_Mmmm. I can't imagine why you would be thinking of me all morning." She joked._

"_Mmmm. Me neither." Let's just say I received a picture on my phone this morning that was very 'inappropriate' for school. _

"_Thanks for that." I said while kissing her neck._

"_Well I knew you would be bored out of your mind in that meeting so I figured I would be a nice little wifey and …"_

"_Get me all worked up in a room full of people." I finished for her._

"_Haha. Well I just thought you could use the excitement."_

"_Well I was definitely excited. You're lucky I didn't have to explain the gasp that I made when I opened my phone."_

_She laughed, kissed me quickly and then slid off of me. I pouted._

"_Actually I had another reason to visit today besides wanting to see my gorgeous wife." _

"_You did huh?" _

_She nodded and pulled an envelope out of her purse._

"_What's this?" I asked as she handed the envelope to me._

"_Pictures."_

"_Pictures for my private collection?" I wiggled my eye brows._

"_You have a private collection?" She asked surprised, amused and confused at the same time._

"_Uh, no. Nevermind." She put her hand on her hip and gave me that 'you better start explaining look'. Yikes!_

"_We'll talk about that later. Open the envelope." Once again she sat down on my desk but this time in front of me._

_I opened the envelope and pulled out pictures of …an ultrasound. I looked up at her right away and she smiled at me. I looked back down at the pictures and then back up at her again._

"_Really?" I asked. It came out almost as a squeal._

_She nodded with pursed lips. _

"_Really?" I asked again this time more calm._

"_Yes, really." She giggled. _

_I stood up and scooped her off the desk, spinning her around. When I stopped she took my face in her hands and kissed me. _

"_So you're not mad at me?"_

"_Why would I be mad?" I don't think I could have been happier._

"_I thought you might be mad for me waiting to tell you."_

_The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. How could I be mad right then?_

"_I'm not mad Spence. I am so happy."_

"_Good. I just wanted to wait a little longer this time and make sure.."_

"_Shhhh baby. It's fine. I understand." _

_Spencer miscarried on our first try. She was 13 weeks along. It was devastating for the both of us. I thought she would want to wait a while to have the procedure done again but we were back at the doctor's office 3 months later for another try. _

"_So how far along are you?" I asked her sitting back down behind my desk and pulling her onto my lap._

"_16 weeks. In a month we can go in for another ultrasound. We can find out the sex if you want."_

"_I don't want to know. I want to be surprised." As much as planning everything out perfectly sounded I would much rather wait. It would be worth it. _

"_Good because I don't want to know either."_

_A month later we sat at the doctor's office waiting to see our baby on the sonogram picture thing. The technician turned on the screen after preparing Spencer and as soon as I heard the heartbeat I got choked up. _

_We could hear our baby's heartbeat and I was overwhelmed with feelings I had never experienced before. It was starting to feel real now._

_The screen was turned towards us and you could see the baby right away. The technician pointed out the head and the body as she moved the device on Spencer's stomach around. _

_I found Spencer's hand and held it in mine. She looked up at me with watery eyes and an expression much like mine. Overwhelmed with excitement and 'wow this is really happening'. _

"_There is something that I noticed earlier…riiiight here." The technician pointed to what looked like another head Oh My God!_

"_Is that what I think it is?" Spencer asked calmly._

"_Let's see if I can get a better look." She moved the device around to the side of the belly and said "Ah ha!"_

_Oh boy! I almost didn't want to look._

"_Yes it is exactly what you think it is if you are thinking it is another baby."_

"_Oh wow!" I said and Spencer laughed._

"_So we are having twins?"_

"_You are having twins. Congratulations."_

_Can I faint now?_

_Spencer squeezed my hand and I kissed her forehead. She looked up at me with a big smile._

"_Twins Ash." She said proudly._

"_Yeah I heard. Is it too late to back out now?" My wife tilted her head to the side and furrowed her brow. What? I was kidding._

"_I'm kidding baby." _

"_Both of the babies look great. Let me print you out some pictures."_

_Later that night she was lying in our bed reading What to Expect When You're Expecting. I swear she slept with that book._

_I crawled onto the bed and laid near her belly._

"_So there are two of you in there huh?" I said as I lifted her shirt slightly and rubbed her belly softly. It was something I did nearly every night since I found out she was pregnant._

"_Now listen up for a minute. Mommy is already super uncomfortable so no wrestling in there. And no worries, you won't always have to share a room."_

_Spencer interrupted me by running her hand through my hair. _

"_I love you Ashley." _

_I left her belly but not before kissing it and whispering 'good night'._

_She took my face in her hands and pulled me to her lips. The kiss was soft and sweet and too short._

"_You're going to be such an amazing mother." She said to me after pulling away._

"_Our kids are going to have two amazing mothers." I replied then took her lips in mine again. _

_We made love and afterwards while I was holding her we talked about baby names. We couldn't agree on any of them._

"_How about this, you pick out the boy names and I will pick out girl names."_

"_What if it's 2 boys or 2 girls?" She asked._

"_Then pick out 2 boys names and I will pick out 2 girls names. If it is one of each then we just have to both pick out one."_

"_Okay, sounds like a plan."_

_The months went by fast. At least for me they did. Spencer had a pretty good pregnancy for the most part. She was eating healthy. I had found a way to add broccoli, carrots, avocados, eggs, nuts or spinach into every meal. I would set her plate down and she would glare at me. Of course she had her cravings. Which is how the midnight clerk at the corner store had become such a good friend. He stocked up extra on the butter pecan ice cream and cool ranch Doritos. At the end of the pregnancy she was happy and healthy and ..huge._

_But she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen._

_She wobbled into the hospital one night around 11 p.m. She was having contractions and they were only a couple minutes apart. _

_They set us up in a room and made her as comfortable as possible. We just had to wait. I sat on the bed with her and held her hand. She squeezed my hand every time a contraction came and I thought she was going to break every bone. I sucked it up with pursed lips and held in my cries. _

_After about 2 hours the doctor came in and they set up for the delivery. I never left her side even when she screamed at me to 'shut the fuck up'. It wasn't long before we heard the first set of cries. The doctor held up our baby boy who was screaming his little head off and Spencer let out a small sob. I stood there in shock. _

_They asked if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord and I shook my head no. I felt like I was about to faint and Spencer was still gripping my hand with all of her strength. They carted our baby boy off to wash him up and not too much longer….our second baby boy was born. Yes, two baby boys. _

_They brought baby boy Davies #1 back while they carted off baby boy Davies #2 and placed him in Spencer's arms. She looked down at our son still sobbing. Her hair and face was full of sweat and I quickly wiped it with a wash cloth as she talked to him. _

"_Hi baby. I can't believe you're finally here." She was a little choked up. "You're so beautiful."_

_His eyes were barely open and his mouth kept opening and shutting. His tiny hands were bunched up under his chin and his little fingers were moving slightly. I took in the sight and all at once it finally hit me. _

_This was our baby. Our baby boy. Mine and Spencer's. _

_The nurse came back into the room with our other son and placed him in my arms. _

_Oh wow!_

_He looked just like his brother of course. Maybe a bit smaller. They had the same nose. His eyes were shut and he let out a small whimper. That was when the tears finally came. And they came fast and hard. I looked down at my wife and smiled. _

"_I love you so much."_

_She smiled back through her own tears._

_The nurses took the boys to get weighed and bathed and I finally left Spencer's side so they could take care of her. _

_When I entered the waiting room I lost it again. My Dad, Mr. C, Paula and Miranda were all there._

"_Boys." I somehow got out. "Two healthy beautiful boys."_

_Paula was the first to get to me. She wrapped me up in her arms and congratulated me._

_After getting hugs from everyone I sat down next to Miranda. _

"_Spencer did good. She did really good. And she is okay. We should be able to go back into the room shortly but she does want some time with them alone first."_

"_That's understandable. I have a lot of phone calls to make anyway." The proud grandma said._

"_So what are their names?" Miranda asked beside me._

"_I don't know yet. Spencer chose the boy names."_

"_Wow Ash. You're a mom. How does that feel?" _

"_Overwhelming, amazing, surreal." _

"_They are so beautiful Miranda." I was getting choked up again._

"_Of course they are Ash."_

_Before I left the room to go back to Spencer but Dad gave me another bear hug._

"_I was so proud of you on your wedding day but today, today I am a very, very proud father and grandfather." He kissed my forehead._

"_Go see your family." He smiled and winked._

"_Thanks Daddy."_

_A few days later we left the hospital with our two beautiful baby boys. 6 lb. 11 oz. Alexander Arthur Carlin Davies….named after Spencer's dad and grandpa, Gram's late husband. And 6 lb. 5 oz. Ashton Raife Carlin Davies… wonder where she came up with that name?_

_I took my family home and I didn't think I could ever be happier_.

* * *

><p>"Ash I just talked to Chris and the boys are fine. They're both sleeping."<p>

"Thanks Miranda." I had taken up pacing again.

"I know you are worried Ash. I am too. But.."

"Stop! I have been hearing that for the last couple hours and I don't want to hear it anymore." I snapped at her.

She didn't respond. She knew there was nothing she could say. I walked back over to the window and took a deep breath. I didn't mean to take it out on Miranda but she was right, I was worried. I was making myself sick I was so worried.

She came up beside me and I felt her hand slide into mine.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"I know."

The door opened and I turned to see Gram.

She walked up to me and threw her arms around me.

"Now you listen hear pumpkin. Our Spencer is going to be just fine. She's a fighter like me and like her father. She's not going anywhere. Why would she? She has got two amazing boys who think the world of her and not to mention an incredible woman who would move heaven and earth to make her happy. She has a lot of love in her life. A lot to fight for. So stop wearing out the carpet, sit down and breathe. Gram always knows best. Don't you forget that."

"Thanks Gram."

She nodded and took a seat.

I turned around and looked back out the window.

I looked up at stars.

I still thought of Alyssa every time I saw them. I let a small smile form on my lips thinking of her and thinking of the last time I sat under the night sky.

_**7 Months Ago...**_

"_Come here little man." _

_He wobbled over to me still trying to get used to the feeling of the sand beneath his toes. _

"_Look up at the sky." I pointed to the stars and he responded with a 'wowowhoa'._

_Summer had come and it was a comfortable 75 degrees. The night air was calm, just right. We took the boys out to the lake nearly every night. This was the first night we could walk around with no shoes on through the sand and the water._

_He sat down on my lap and looked up at me. _

"_Can you say 'stars'?" _

_His head tilted up towards the sky._

"_Ars Momma." I giggled at his attempt. Close enough._

"_Yep, those are stars." _

"_When you are a little older I am gonna tell you all about those stars. And I am gonna tell you all about your aunt Alyssa. She lives up in those stars and she lights up the entire sky so when it's dark we can always find our way."_

"_Ars."_

_I giggled and kissed his head. _

"_That's right little man. Stars."_

"_Mommmmmmaaaaaa." I heard from behind us._

_Little Alex was calling me from the porch. Spencer had just given him a bath. Let's just say that he got more spaghetti on himself then in his mouth. _

_They walked down to us and Spencer set him down and he came and sat down on my lap with his brother._

"_We're looking up at the stars buddy. Can you say 'stars' Alex?"_

"_Wada" He said pointing out at the lake._

"_It's such a beautiful night." I looked up at her and she looked lost in the moment._

"_Yeah it is. I can't wait to take them into the water tomorrow." _

_She sat down next to me as I held both of our boys. Spencer was home all day with them and I had just gotten home before dinner. They missed their momma. _

"_It'll be a great day for it. We can spend all day out here. I'll make some sandwiches. We can pitch a tent for nap time."_

_Sounded like a great idea to me. Spending the day with my wife and my sons. No interruptions, no worries. Just us under the sun and having fun. Sounded perfect._

"_Let's go put the boys to bed and spend the night out here." I winked at her. We had spent plenty of nights out here together before they were born. Sometimes we set up a tent, sometimes just sleeping bags. _

_Making love under the stars was so romantic. _

"_Wada momma." Alex tapped my arm and pointed out to the water again._

"_Yes water."_

"_Go, wada." _

_He ran out to the water and Spencer snatched him up._

"_Tomorrow baby. It's almost sleep time." She kissed his cheek as I look up at her in awe._

_She was so beautiful in the moonlight holding our son. She was such an amazing mother. More amazing than I could have ever imagined. When it was time for her to go back to work she was so upset. She didn't want to leave the boys. Luckily the school year hadn't started and she was able to cut her classes down to 3 a week. She missed teaching but she wanted to be home with the boys as much as possible. Of course I wanted the same thing but I had to continue working. I had to support my family and I was perfectly okay with that. _

_They were my family. _

_She sat back down next to me with Alex in her lap. Alex was a spitting image of Spencer. Blonde hair, blue eyes and a killer smile. Spencer must have known that Ashton would look like me. He had blonde hair as well but he had my eyes. Everything about the kid so far was me. He had even taking a liking to my guitar. So of course I had bought him his own and within days all of the strings were broken. Too soon I guess._

"_So I think we are going to have to tell Miranda and Chris that they need to find another place to live, or make an addition to the house." Spencer said out of the blue._

_Miranda and Chris were staying with us but really they were never home. Miranda stayed on campus most of the time and Chris was always at the club. All that occupied our house was their….stuff. They always came home for Sunday dinners though. Either Miranda or I would cook. Spencer had become quite the cook when she decided to stay home with the boys. Her dad would come over a few times a week to teach her some new recipes. Of course she would make his ravioli dish I liked so much at least once a week. Such a good wife._

"_Why, what's up? They're barely here."_

"_I know. But we are going to need their room back."_

"_Huh?"_

"_I'm pregnant Ash." She blurted out._

"_Huh?" Did she just say she was pregnant?_

"_I AM PREGNANT. 11 weeks tomorrow."_

"_Really? That was fast." She had just had the procedure done. _

"_I guess it was meant to happen."_

"_Wow…. Wow. I can't believe it. Wow."_

_I leaned over and kissed her trying my best not to wake up Ashton who was suddenly fast asleep on my lap._

"_Yeah, we are definitely gonna need to boot those two out. I will make sure they're coming to dinner on Sunday."_

"_They are. I already called them."_

"_Okay so we'll feed them and then tell them to pack up their stuff."_

"_Ash." She laughed._

"_I'm kidding."_

"_It is my kid right?" I deadpanned._

"_Ash. Really?"_

"_I'm kidding, I'm kidding."_

_She shook her head and rolled her eyes. Wasn't the first time and sure as hell wouldn't be the last._

"_You make me so happy Spencer."_

* * *

><p>"Mrs. Davies."<p>

I jumped out of my chair at the sound of her voice.

"You can come see your wife now."

"Is everything alright?" Miranda asked the nurse.

"We will know more as the night progresses but everything looks good."

She sighed in relief and gave me a hug.

"Tell her I love her."

"I will." I kissed her cheek and left the room.

"I'll let you know exactly what is going on when I find out. Tell Mr. C. everything is going to be okay when he comes back."

She nodded.

I didn't know what to expect when I opened the door to her room. I just knew that she was okay at the moment and that was enough for me.

I slowly opened it and saw that she was sleeping. Her forehead had a large band aid on it from the crash and she had a breathing tube in her nose. I hated seeing her like that. I hated knowing that she had been in pain.

I walked over to her and leaned down to kiss her forehead. After taking a seat next to the bed I grabbed her hand and kissed it. She opened her eyes and looked over at me. Her eyes were barely open. She looked exhausted.

"Hey baby, God I am so glad you are okay." She squeezed my hand.

"I'm okay Ash." Her eyes shut again and she fell back asleep. A minute or so later the doctor came in.

"Hello Mrs. Davies." He shook my hand.

"What happened? And where is she?"

"I will explain what happened if you'll have a seat." Oh no. I didn't like the sound of that.

"I don't want to sit. Can we talk about this out in the hall? She's exhausted and I don't want to wake her."

"That's fine."

We walked into the hallway and he started.

"Your wife suffered from placenta abruption. Basically what that means is her placenta detached from her uterus. This could have been caused by the accident but it's not likely. We did do a caesarean section and had a few complications but everything turned out well. Your baby girl is in the intensive care unit for overnight evaluation but I think she will be just fine."

I sighed and hung my head. A wave of relief washed over me. They were going to be fine.

I went back to the waiting room briefly to grab Miranda and Mr. C. I didn't want Spencer to be alone while I went and saw our daughter. Glen and Spencer's friend Carrie were there now and I gave everyone a hug before explaining what had happened.

I brought Miranda and Mr. C. back with me. They wanted to see Spencer even though she was sleeping. Glen and Carrie stayed in the waiting room. Paula would be here any minute.

I walked down the quiet and empty hallway to the NICU and when I walked in the door I was told to wash my hands thoroughly and put on a long blue hospital gown and hat. I followed the nurse and she stopped in front of little bed with a heater above it. I sighed in relief, thankful she wasn't in an incubator.

"Here she is Mrs. Davies. She has been doing really well. Probably be out of here in the morning."

"Thanks."

The nurse gave me a few directions and then left.

She was so small but she weighed more than both of the boys weighed. A healthy 7 lbs. 9 oz. and 21 inches long.

"So beautiful." I said softly as I scooped her up and held her close to my chest.

She yawned and it had to be the cutest thing I had ever seen.

"Hi sweetheart. Momma's got you. Everything is going to be okay and soon you will get to see your mommy. I promise." I sat down on the chair next to her bed and began to rock.

The last few hours had made me an emotional wreck and as I held my daughter in my arms I cried.

"I almost thought I wouldn't get to ever hold you. I love you so much. I have since the moment I found out about you."

I held her tighter to me with one arm and wiped my face with the other.

Leaning down I kissed her head and held my cheek against it.

"My little princess."

Our baby girl was out of the NICU and in Spencer's room by late afternoon the next day. She was perfectly healthy as was her mother. It would take Spencer some time to recover from the caesarean section but she would be okay.

Everyone was in her room. Mr. and Mrs. C. , Glen, his wife and little Jack, Miranda, Chris, two very curious and confused big brothers and my dad and Janet. I couldn't believe it when they showed up at 8 a.m. that morning. I nearly ran into my dad's arms.

Spencer was in her bed with our baby girl in her arms with Ashton on one side of her and Alex on the other. I was in the back of the room just taking it all in.

I went back in time once more…

_**Over 8 years ago…**_

_We were almost home and I stopped walking and pulled her into me. I kissed her softly and pressed my forehead to hers. Then I took her hand and placed it on my skin right above my heart._

_"You feel that? That's all you. You have my heart Spence." I whispered. _

_Then I took my other hand and caressed her cheek before sliding it down passed her neck and between her breasts. I held my hand just above her heart._

_"Please tell me I have yours too." My voice was a little shaky. A little scared._

_She took both of her hands and cradled my face. She kissed me gently and then pressed her forehead to mine._

_"You do." She whispered back._

* * *

><p>Even after that special moment we shared I still had my doubts. If you would have told me back then that 8 years later Spencer and I would be married with 3 kids I would have never believed it. I probably would have died of laughter.<p>

Yet here we were.

She was talking to the boys and they both smiled at her. I couldn't help but smile at the simple gestures.

"Ashley, are you going to tell us the name of our beautiful granddaughter or are we going to just call her Princess for the rest of her life?" Paula joked.

I walked over to the bed and scooped up Ashton, setting him on my lap as I took his place next to Spencer.

She was sleeping soundly. Nuzzled up against Spencer's chest. I knew the moment we found out we were having a girl what her name was. I didn't even have another name chosen because I just knew. Now as I looked down at her I was certain. The name was perfect.

"I would like to formally introduce you all to our beautiful baby girl, Alyssa."

I looked at Spencer as I said it and her eyes got wide briefly and then filled with tears.

"It's perfect Ash." She said taking my hand in hers.

"Alyssa." She whispered to our baby girl.

"It _is_ perfect Ashley. I'm sure Alyssa would be honored. I certainly am." Janet said from across the room.

I looked over at her and nodded. She mouthed a 'thank you' and I smiled through the tears that had suddenly escaped from behind my eyes.

Over the last 24 hours I had relived a lot of good memories from over the last 7 years. I never dreamed my life would turn out this good. I had an amazing family and great friends and more love than I could have ever possibly imagined.

I had the most beautiful and loving wife. Three children that I would give my life for. I had the best friend a girl could ask for. I had a wonderful father, a woman I looked at as a mother, an amazing father and mother in Arthur and Paula. A good friend and brother in Glen. A strange but loving grandmother.

One would say I had it all.

They wouldn't be wrong.

Nicholas Sparks once wrote "_Every great love starts with a great story_..."

Spencer and I had a great love….

And I'm sure it would make one hell of a story.

_The end...finally._

* * *

><p><em>Review if you wish :)<em>

_**Song**:_

_The Way You Look Tonight- More than a dozen different versions. My favoirtes are by Sinatra and Michael Buble_


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